A thought
When it comes to such things such as language use and choice of clothes, or the brand of kebab people eat, well, live and let live. However, I can't bloody stand people like Katie Price and her ilk. Over-inflated boobs designed to be leered over by men with over-inflated egos. A friend of mine once asked me if I would sleep with one of these "individuals" if I had the chance. He seemed quite surprised by my refusal. I mean for goodness' sakes...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:24, 3 replies)

A list of things that aren't common enough:
Common courtesy
Common knowledge
Common sense
the usage of the word "tomfoolery"
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:19, 15 replies)

This article
Here

The fact that it's a link to the website of a certain daily tabloid only adds to the experience.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:16, 18 replies)

Common misconceptions.
Personally I believe that pronouncing something being 'common' or not is just another of those stigmas that leads to further segregation in society as well as enforcing the class division when we should be really striving for cohesion.

Who really gives a fuck if you're sitting on a sofa or a settee? Be grateful you've got something to slump down in when you get home from work. Dinner, tea, lunch, supper - who gives a fuck? Be grateful you have food to eat. Lavatory or toilet? At least you're not defecating al-fresco and risking contaminating a water source from which you'll have to live from.

Now something being tacky and tasteless, that's a different issue and one that I'll happily contribute to.

No length joke to end, because that's common.
(Marmoset Bored bored bored of cnuting revision..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:07, 13 replies)

Problems...
Nanny always told One that mentioning one's alcoholism/crack habit etc was very poor form.
(catflap I went out with Nicholas Parsons, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)

Argos
As in the catalogue shop. From the Lizzie Duke bling to the plastic garden furniture, it screams common. Makes Lidl look like Waitrose. (I'd originally said Harrods instead of Waitrose but on reflection the Egyptian tat and Di and Dodi memorabilia means Harrods make Argos look like Harvey Nichols)
( paulieg La, la, la, not listening, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:59, 1 reply)

Twat wagons!
Fucking shit scrubby modded cars!

Debadges lowered etc, my terms for these are:

Large 4 door saloon lowered big wheels driven in to halfords with an elctro magnet = Twat chariot.

Saxo's and Nova's and any other shitty hot hatches = Twat Chariots.

If a chavy girl is driving one it's a slag wagon.

Modded cars are fucking crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People who say:

Person: Can I lend sum money off you?

Me: No you may borrow some money, I'll lend it to you, at 129% APR you scrubber!
(ruud316, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:51, 8 replies)

never did nothing...
or as they say

Nevvoh di' noffin.

that is all.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:51, 1 reply)

Join the cue
I don't really mean to be too harsh on Essex, I'm actually quite protective of it in reality.

But sometimes you just have to shake your head and accept it for what it is, good bad and ugly.

There used to be a 'country club' down at Pipps Hill, on the outskirts of Basildon (it's been built over now with a leisure park, nick named, I kid you now, Bas-Vegas).

And next to the club there was a pub called 'The Golfers Arms'.

I worked there for a bit between leaving uni and getting a 'proper' job.

There are no two ways about it, the pub was a dive of the highest order. We'd get all of societies flotsam & jetsam parading through.

But, taking the biscuit for the most common act I ever saw anyone perform was the denim miniskirted stilletoed peroxide blond mutton dressed as lamb who flashed her gash at all and sundry while playing pool one Sunday afternoon.

I stood and watched in horror as her and her knuckle dragging boyfriend went out the back door in the dark by the lake and came back 10 minutes later looking extremely flustered.

Now, in all honesty, I can understand that some people get turned on by exhibitionism, I can understand that some people get turned on by outdoor sex, and I can understand that some people get horny and want sex right there, right then, wherever there and then may be.

But what I can't understand, what I refuse to think about in any degree of depth.

Is why the hell they had to take the pool cue with them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:48, 7 replies)

Part 5
Baseball caps, Butlins, amusement arcades, door to door salesmen, World of Leather products, fingerless gloves, Maestro cards, super-strength lager, scratch card buyers, frozen food, Finlandia vodka, anyone called Wayne, Bratz toys, Impulse bodyspray, Brut, Old Spice, Lynx, crab sticks, swatch watches, “baby on board” signs, Crocs shoes.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:34, 13 replies)

Chatham, Kent. Classy town, I tell you.
I think this picture says it all, really.

farm2.static.flickr.com/1393/1389910372_0dea4d2263.jpg?v=0

Sometimes there'll be a soggy sock or condom dangling from his finger, too.
( gypsy turnips, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:15, 5 replies)

What's a hamburger?
Two girls in the queue for McDonalds - in front of a friend of mine.

First girl: What's a hamburger?
Second girl: It's like a cheeseburger without the cheese.

Tru dat.
(Mr Broadtrousers, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:14, 1 reply)

Sign of a commoner.
People who wear running shoes when not doing sports. There are trainers for wearing in the street (Adidas Superstars, Nike 6.0, Classic Dunks etc), and sports/running shoes (Nike Air, Shox, Reeboks) for doing sports/running in, and should be kept separate.
(ice9, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:12, 3 replies)

Common accents
Bristol = Car thief
Somerset = thick
Liverpool = General nick anything thief
Glasgow = GBH
Birmingham = thick
(ruud316, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:04, 16 replies)

*Rubs Hands*
"May I" vs "Can I"

Think about it. Can you see yourself,ever,asking:

"May I cum on your tits?".....

Or

"Bar-Person? May I have another pint of your finest, foaming, beer please?"



Get to fuck. 'Can I' is the correct useage. People who say "may I" are either obsequious waiters,shop assistants or in-bred degenerates.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:02, 30 replies)

Maybe I've just got a short fuse
I don’t know if this is a common trait or just an example of the uneducated neglecting to acknowledge the reason why some people have different tastes/lifestyles, because actually, they are ‘different’ to them.

A couple of examples.

Being in conversation and mentioning that I’m going on holiday, Asked by ‘common’ where I’d be heading (or to use the Bristolian vernacular, ‘Where you going too?’) I mention the destination and get told…

‘Oh wow, you are so lucky, I’ve always wanted to go there!!’

Me: ‘Hmm, it was £179.00 from Lunn Polly it wasn’t a very expensive jaunt’

‘I don’t think I’d be able to go anyway, I only speak English’

Me: ‘You’ll find that most holiday destinations are able to cope with people who aren’t able to speak anything other than English’

‘Yeah, but I’ve heard it’s dead expensive when you get there!’

Me: ‘The average bar is probably not much different to London prices’

‘What? You’ve been to London as well?!?!’

Or, my personal favourite.

‘That your car?’

Me: Yes it is

‘How can you afford that?’

Me: It’s a hire car

‘But still, that must cost you a fortune’

Me: I’ve only got it for a couple of days to go to meetings, and it’s my employer, not me who is paying for it

‘Why don’t you have a company car of your own’

Me: There is no business need for me to have one

‘So if there was, your company would give you a car ‘just like that’?’ I don’t think they would’

Me: If projections showed it would be cheaper for the company to do that, then that’s what they’d do, as it I don’t need a company car as I rarely go anywhere’

‘GUTTED!’

Me: ‘Eh?’

‘I’ll be you is well gutted about that’

Me: Not really, a company car can really effect your tax bill

‘What? You pay tax?’

It wouldn't be so bad, but the person in question is actually a tax-paying colleague.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:01, 2 replies)

Cutlery
There are some things considered common, simply because they go against what is traditionally accepted as the correct behaviour (even though the word 'common' implies 'most used', and should therefore be considered the norm. Anyway, I digress...)

Apparently I'm common because I eat my food with my knife and fork in the "wrong" hand. Where is it carved in stone that your fork should be held in your left hand, for fuck's sake. What sodding difference does it make.

What does it matter if I eat my pudding with a soup spoon.

Who gives a shit?
( rofl harris, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:58, 8 replies)

High expectations
I was visiting Trevor and Lorelei on the other side of town one Saturday afternoon. About 5.30 I said I must go soon as I was off to the theatre to see a touring show. They looked at me as if I'd suddenly grown an extra head.

Oh, no, they couldn't possibly go there. Far too snobby for them.

What? You buy your ticket, walk in, sit down, the show starts. Just like going to the pictures but with live performers.

Oh, no, not at all. They only went to the drive-in flicks, the "walk-in" cinema was too formal for them.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Ohh list time!
Muffin Tops (bonus points for black thongs hanging out)
Indian Ink tattoos (usually on a mans knuckles spelling LOVE and HATE or an ex girls name somewhere on the wrist area that's been so obviously turned from Sharon into a crap dove)
Big MUTHAFUCKIN HOOP Earrings
More than one earring in each ear
People who say "I don't give a shit what other people think" just before they are about to make a twat out of themselves
People who do this !!!!!!! (I used to do it but learned the error of my ways)
People who put an @ sign instead of writing or typing AT
peepl hoo type lyke dis
People who think they are posh because they drink at places like starbucks and costa coffee
People who shout at kids in public
People who discuss the lives of soap characters as if they were their own neighbours.
Pink (the love of the colour that is)and last but not least
UGG BOOTS
( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:54, 6 replies)

Earrings on babies
That is all.

I just holidayed in Tenerife. My god is that place common. Full of scotchish people and northerners. As I came out of the airport, past all the taxi drivers with their signs, a local lady hocked a massive loogie on the floor of the airport. Cute.

Also, people who say 'That is all', then carrry on talking. The height of bad manners.
(wahey, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:54, 3 replies)

Snorting.....
Some nasty white powder which is more speed, Vim and baking soda from the cistern lid of a pub shithouse, in the belief it is "coke".

They should get little silver "snuff" spoons, far more cultured. And if they had some REAL coke, a sadly rare thing these days, they'd shit their baggy jeans.
(Rsoles, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:51, 6 replies)

A small discourse on "being common".
I have given this a lot of thought, and realized what it is that has been bothering me about this QOTW. Please bear with me, as I may ramble a bit here.

We’re discussing being “common” here, a touchy subject to say the least. At least one person has been enraged by what she perceives as elitism in the posts and has refused to join in. I have been accused of being racist myself in here- which I firmly deny- for getting annoyed by, as I put it, white kids pretending to be black.

The real issue here is not race or class, but pretense.

Let’s start with the thing that was causing cries of elitism. An example- one poster wrote of a woman who made a big deal of champagne and ended up with Asti Spumante. Why is this funny? Because the woman was pretending to be upper class, when she clearly didn’t know what she was doing. In other words, she was pretending to be part of a group she clearly didn’t belong to.

Another example: I wrote of skinny white teenage boys pretending to be black. I also wrote of white kids in dreads pretending to be Jamaican, and was criticized sharply for saying that races have given behaviors.

Both cases have the same root: people pretending to be part of a culture that they clearly are not from.

Let’s take the woman with the Asti Spumante. Had she really learned something of champagnes, she would probably have ordered something else, and would not have made such a big issue over what she was drinking. As it is, she was emulating the appearances of affluence and doing it badly. In other words, she was a poser, and was immediately seen as such. (I think the English term for this is “bounder”.)

In the case of the kids pretending to be black, it gets a lot more touchy because race is involved. I knew as I was posting that something wasn’t translating properly, but it took me a while to put my finger on it. I was using a form of shorthand to communicate an idea about behavior among groups, and it didn’t quite work, as I suspect that things go a bit differently over in England than they do here. Let’s see if I can expand on this a bit.

On the one hand we have inner city black kids. I don’t know exactly how things go over there, but here the inner city kids of all races tend to share certain behaviors, which you can most easily see in hiphop videos and the like. Most of our inner city kids are black- hence the stereotype of the black kid in the hoodie and baggy pants and brand-new sneakers.

On the other side are the kids from the suburbs. They’re mostly white, have pretty much always had a meal on the table and a roof over their heads, haven’t had to deal much with the crime that plagues the poor areas of the inner city, and have generally had pretty easy lives. There’s not a lot of deprivation out in the suburbs- the kids often own their cars and usually live in houses with central heating and plumbing, their refrigerators are usually not empty, and they can afford new clothing as needed.

So what’s so irritating and asinine to me is seeing these white affluent kids pretending to be inner city impoverished thugs, when clearly they aren’t. Again, they’re emulating appearances and taking on trappings of a culture that they have never been a part of. The same thing applies to the white kids pretending to be Rastas, when they’ve obviously come from somewhere in suburban America. They’re adopting the trappings of another culture.

Imagine, for a moment, if I were to start wearing tweed suits and a bowler and carrying an umbrella and trying to put on an English accent. I’m a white middle-class guy in his 40s from America- wouldn’t this strike you as being ridiculous? It’s not cold and wet over here, so the tweed and umbrella are not needed as they are there, and I’m from New York State so the accent would be utterly false, even if I could pull it off. So why would I start acting like I was from another culture?

For that matter, let’s take it a step further- what if I were to start wearing a turban and a beard and acting like a Sikh? Let’s face it, I have blond hair and grey eyes and don’t look even remotely Indian. Wouldn’t that be deserving of ridicule?

The thing that makes me rather angry when I see this is that these people are taking the trappings of another culture as their own, and in the process creating almost a parody of that culture. Were I a member of the culture I saw them imitating I would find it to be highly insulting. It’s like putting on the robes of a Buddhist monk or a Catholic priest when you’ve never been anywhere near a temple or a seminary.

So this is what makes “being common” so irritating. It’s not a matter of being superior to someone else, it’s a matter of not behaving as a member of your own culture. I was born in America and have lived here for 45 years now, and was born into a middle class suburban family. That’s who I am, and that’s how I behave. I don’t pretend to be anything else, as it would be silly and rather insulting. I don’t pretend to be affluent, nor do I pretend to be from Da Hood. I’m quite proud to be what I am. I have no issues with people from other cultures, and am perfectly content to have them around me- but I’m not going to pretend that I’m one of them, because I’m not. I wouldn’t disrespect them in that way.

And there’s this morning’s rant. Go right ahead and flame me if you must, but this is where I stand.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:49, 33 replies)

going on about how
"my parents were killed by the Khmer Rouge."

Honestly, every second person's parents were killed by the Khmer Rouge, they go on about it like they're the only ones!

This guest post brought to you live from the Comedy Club, Pnomh Penh.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:42, 3 replies)

Wombles.
FACT!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:42, 2 replies)

In defence of a very small precentage of those people you may have seen spitting in the street
Yes, I agree, it is foul and disgusting. However those of us who have been struck down with this years strain of Fresher's flu whose primay symptom seems to be to cause every orifice to pour about 5 gallons of sticky thick green gunk an hour and then cleverly forget to take any tissues out with them (as I did this morning!) may occasionally be forced to partake in such heinous activites as spitting in the street/wiping nose on sleeve just to stop them from drowning in aforementioned sticky green gunk.

I do apologise, it is incredibly common. Most of my university has it by now.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:35, 8 replies)

If I had to define 'common',
I'd have to say "A soft, staple fiber that grows around the seeds of the gossypium plant, a shrub native to tropical and subtropical regions around the world." Mind you, I am dyslexic.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)

Left footers
Everything about catholicism is common. The ridiculous soft focus paintings of the sacred heart. Pastel statues of Mary - who they treat in almost exactly the same way as "Hello!" treats Posh Spice.

The tacky vulgarity of the churches. And the names, dear lord, the names. Bernadette, for crying out loud
(ubergeekian, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:34, 12 replies)

For starters.....
1. Tramp-stamps, slag-tags, whatever.

2. People who say "whatever" when you are trying to have an argument with them (especially if they nod their head from side to side whilst saying it).

3. Young, and not so young, ladies who show off acres of Gunt. It's not a muffin-top, that's far too benign a phrase, it's your GUNT love, now put it away.

4. Women who pretend they like to drink from the furry chalice when they have had a drinkie or two in the vain hope of making themselves irresistible to all men in the room. Especially when they actually have NO leanings that way and when, a short while later, they find themselves inches away from a gaping axe-wound and suddenly decide it's not funny any more and they want to go home.

5. Football tops. It's like wearing a hi-viz top from the local secure unit, all it does is identify you to all sundry as a complete twat. (Actually, that might be not so bad, at least you can avoid them)

6. Blokes who are seemingly unable to tuck their shirts in. It's not difficult (so says my Mummy as she does mine for me)

There'll be more...........
(Rsoles, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:33, 6 replies)

"Yous".
Maybe only other Aussies will understand this one (and we're all common to start with. But there are degrees).

Some people here either have no real concept of grammar, or do this to seem chummy, or larrikin-like... who knows, really. "You" [personal pronoun, plural] becomes "yous".

"When are yous open till?"

I reply as emphatically as possible:

"Wees are open until seven".

I love doing this. They know I'm taking the piss, but are unable to retaliate: if they insist upon addressing me with deliberately incorrect grammar, I've got every right have a go.

Also, people who put milk into their teacup first and then add the tea are pure scum.
(lonelybadger, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:29, 11 replies)

Magners
Sugar + blarney = common.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:26, 2 replies)