my neighbours
scream at their toddler, have big 'ENGLAND' tattoos and burn stuff in their back garden.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:19, Reply)

Making tea
The other day my girlfriend made me a cup of tea by pouring milk on a teabag while the kettle boiled...

..good thing she's fit.
( killeroo is down to just his socks, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:18, 5 replies)

The Isle of Sheppey
... and I $hit you not ... a tattooed baby

(albeit Henna but still)
(skintagain, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:13, 2 replies)

Replying to almost every story
on the top half of the "latest" page.

Oh. Wait.....
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:03, 1 reply)

Roll ups, apparently.
Before I gave up smoking I was on the rollies. I'd smoked them for years, found them far preferable to straights, and wasted much less money than I would otherwise have done.

But they are considered common...

"You got a spare fag, mate?"

"Uh, sure. Can you roll or would you like me to do..."

"Fuck off. I'm not smoking none of them fucking rollies."

And that was just the tramps.

I found widespread disdain for them. I'd begin the ritual of creating another perfectly crafted cigarette when a 'normal' fag would be thrust in my face. "No, thanks, I actually prefer roll ups." I'd retort. The thruster would respond with a derisive snort and the relationship would forever be damaged beyond repair.

I can't see what the problem is. Mind you, I've always been a bit common anyway... suppose it's what comes of growing up as a cider swilling wurzel.
( Moey, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:58, 9 replies)

Brown Sauce

( Hankster, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:38, 9 replies)

Close to my heart.
The tendency these days to meet someone whilst drunk out of your face in a pub and immediately upon getting them out the doors (or sometimes sooner) start podgering away like a couple of rabbits on speed.

I went four years without "it" and each and every one of my friends thought there was something wrong with me as I refused to engage in sordid, drunken mangle sex amongst some bins with random slappers. I was even dumped for not accosting a lass and knobbing her senseless in the first three days of seeing her. When did everyone become slappers?

I secretly look down on them from my moral podium and await the inevitable STD's.

I did recently discover there is one kryptonite lass who short circuits my moral glands but that's another tale.

And all this faux outrage over the word common! Surely it's common to get angry about stuff you read on what is primarily a humourous interwebs page? I would be seen as common by lots of folk, doesn't bother me. I even own a pair of *gulp* G-Star jeans! (I was trying to fit in, my friends are all younger than me)
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:37, 1 reply)

Fire
the most 'council' fire in the world is a chip pan fire and the very idea of them annoys me.
(furey, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:35, 4 replies)

Has anyone mentioned
the fannies who completely cover their houses in Christmas decorations?

This pair for example:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1078489/Health-safety-killjoys-ban-couple-putting-famous-Christmas-display--50-000-lights.html

Elf & Safety have banned them from doing it this year on the grounds that they are morons who endanger public mental health, I would imagine.

"magical winter wonderland"

Where is the magic in a tacky plastic glowing santa?

Look closely and you'll spot Mario in a hot-air balloon. WTF?

And, I bet they ain't got jobs 'cause it takes all year to put those decorations up, it's a bleeding disgrace.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:34, 6 replies)

Common as...
Back at the beginning of the year I was doing a 3-month contract job for a quite respectable specialist software company.

One weekend I'd gone to visit family in Suffolk. Picture the scene, 5:30pm on a Friday, waiting to pull onto a roundabout on the A12, some poor sod in a Peugeot was either half asleep or not concentrating and slams smack into the back of me. Nothing major but both cars needed an insurance repair.

Now... because it was clearly the other guy's fault his insurance company offered a like-for-like courtesy car. I normally drive an A4 but they didn't have any Audis on the fleet so they offered me a 3-series or a Merc C-class. Not being a big fan of BMWs I took the C-class.

Half an hour later I get a phone call "sorry, we don't have a C-class available, will an E-class do?" Hell yes!

So the car gets dropped off. All the toys, leather, sat-nav, a back seat big enough to have wild kinky sex on... the next morning I drive into work and park up.

Next to the director's cars.

One BMW 320, one Citroen C5, one Audi A3.

The E-class dwarves them all.

My colleague (18 years old, bit of a boy racer, had a kev'd up Astra) took great delight in telling management "heh, he's got a better car than all of you!"

Had it for about 3 weeks all in as there was a backlog at the body shop getting mine repaired. But on one occasion I was visiting friends in Devon, drove into McDonalds in Barnstaple to see a bunch of chavs in their Vauxhall Corsas with ridiculous oversize alloys and rear wings that look like they'd been nicked off a Cessna.

Of course I couldn't resist. I'm in a rear-drive car... I knocked it down to 2nd (sequential automatic gearbox) and kicked the tail end out, took it in a 360 degree powerslide around McD's car park and slid sideways into a parking space.

I then got out of the car along with my friend (who was laughing her head off), walked past the aforementioned chavs and just said "evening!"

You kinda had to be there I guess...
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:33, 5 replies)

Relative
Further to my definition post, it all seems a bit relatvie.

Common could refer to people who have a low expectation of what is classed as posh.

Posh is having a driveway that you can get into 4th gear when driving to your house.

When I was about 8, I was round at a friend's house, and his dad was listening to The Brandenburg Concerto. I thought it was good, so he copied it onto a cassette and let me borrow it.

I put it on at home declared that I liked it. Two of my brothers asked me

"why are you listening to that crap for? You're not posh."

my mum turned it off and put the telly on instead.

Listening to classical music is not posh.

Nor is watching BBC4 or reading the The Guardian/Independent.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:32, 10 replies)

Credit cards.
Hate the damn things.
If you've not got the money to be buying something you probably shouldn't be buying it.

This doesn't extend to their use on the Internet as you get better protection with CCs, and also doesn't cover bigger purchases where again the extra protection/insurance can come in handy.

Also, people who buy things on their credit card and then act surprised that they (a) have to pay it back at all, and (b) have to pay interest on it.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:32, 6 replies)

My accent!
Apparently a black country accent makes me common.

I normally get told this by people who will then spend their evening hanging around Ladymead retail park in kitted out Novas, so it's horses for courses eh!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)

I think I may be a chav.......
I have been reading the rest of the posts on this QOTW with a sinking feeling of dread!

1. I have a 'slag tag', not that I was aware of it until now. I have had it a fair few years and when it was done, not many people had this.

2. I have 9 other tattoos. although they are small, delicate and ladylike, and in places you wouldn't know I had them unless I chose to show them off.

3. I have a number of ear piercings, a tongue stud, a 'private piercing' and a lip stud I no longer wear (but could if I wanted to)

4. I was in my jammies until 1pm today, as was my 3 month old daughter. To be fair we had a rough night last night, she would not sleep for love nor money. I'm tired. We are dressed now.

5. I was contemplating getting my daughters ears pierced after Xmas. Don't think I'll bother now!


However: I have been married for 3 years, own my own house, drive a VW Golf Convertible (standard VW alloys, no other mods) and have just had my first baby at 27, after trying for over a year to get pregnant, so definately planned!

I do not wear a tracksuit (unless I wear my jogging bottoms and a t-shirt if I'm not going out, ONLY in the house, at night), I have never worn large hoop earrings.

So, am I a chav or not?

I have a friend who wears a tracksuit all the time, hoop earrings, spits on the floor (gross) and displays other chavvy behaviour. She smoked and drank whilst pregnant (I gave it all up until my daughter was 9 weeks old, went out on the town with a mate, had a few drinks and the damn ciggies took me in their evil grasp once more!) Her son has a godawful name and the last time I went to her house, her brother showed me his cock. He's 22. We don't hang out much.

Edit: I do like to watch Jeremy Kyle of a morning, while getting the baby ready, if only to gloat that my life is far superior. Sometimes I want to kick the shit out of the TV as the scumbags there make me so angry!
(leglesss let that be a lesson to you, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:24, 16 replies)

People who say
"Have you swallowed a dictionary"

if you use words of more than 3 syllables
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:19, 6 replies)

TV List Shows
It's bloody always the 50/100 Most somethingest something something, and then you get treated to 4 hours of E list celebrities going "hahahaha, I remember that! It was pretty good!"

...the worst thing is, I actually quite enjoy them... :-(
(GONEism, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Definition
We need a definition of common as the subjects of last weeks QOTW now seem to be answering this week.

I'd say common is the opposite of snobbery. Reading The Sun isn't common. However, it is perceived as common by those who read The Express (same newspaper, but more text and no soft-porn).

I'd say common doesn't naturally exist but is an invention of snobs who wish to be seen above their peers.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:11, 2 replies)

68p magazines!
Pick Me Up

Bella

Closer

That's Life!

They're shit!!



(Please Sir, may I be excused as I write for them)
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:10, 5 replies)

Oh, and
PEOPLE WHO INSIST IN TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND NOT USING ANY PUNCTUATION ITS ANNOYING I MEAN SOMETIMES THE SPELLING IS PERFECT BUT READING THEIR STUFF ALOUD WILL CAUSE YOU TO GO HOARSE AND DIE OF OXYGEN DEPRIVATION

And that's not a class thing. My big, huge, 90 grand a year ex big boss used to type like that.
(GONEism, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Traffic cones
I wonder how many traffic cones are in britain? And what percentage of those have been used as hats or musical instruments?
(GONEism, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:04, 3 replies)

Women
That don't bother getting dressed and spend the day in a dressing gown. Answering the door in a dressing gown in the middle of the afternoon.

Is that common or just blatant laziness?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:56, 9 replies)

Self Righteous folk
Having said that, you'd be struggling to crack more than 100 posts this week without them.

But yes, everyone has opinions, everyone secretly believes their opinions are superior to everyone elses, and nobody is willing to believe otherwise. So really we should all just shut up and go to bed.
(GONEism, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:51, 7 replies)

Appearances can be deceptive

Only yesterday I said "I don’t think I’m common" to Wayne* as we were sat in my modified Saxo**, with the stereo blasting***, on my way to the tattoo parlour**** before we went to Mcdonalds*****


*Hemingway, the fashion designer. Terrible name dropping but he’s quite well-to-do and his work is considered rather progressive.

**It has been modified to be more environmentally friendly and run on bio-fuel

***forgive the indulgence, but my passion for Rochmaninov Concertos does sometimes get the better of me…besides, I’m partially deaf and so require the volume level to be quite high

***As part of a family tradition I’m having a small inscription underneath my family coat of arms that states: “Ex Silentium, simplex lepor ortus ingravesco ubiquitous décor” which roughly means:

“From Obscurity, The simplest wit can rise to become ubiquitous beauty”

*****The Estate Agent Chain. I have a property portfolio that I am currently selling



Sometimes 'common' is just a misjudged perspective.

Sometimes not.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:48, 9 replies)

14 year olds who descend on Camden Market every weekend
It doesn't really irk me as I'm not a fan of Camden. But you do get an awful lot of them coming in on a weekend from the home counties, their skinny jeans stuffed with mummy and daddy's income.
(GONEism, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)

Findus Crispy Pancakes
they're still fucking awesome though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:44, 14 replies)

Felis 'commonus'
Cats are relatively common. Sometimes I see as many as three a day strolling around as if they own the place.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:36, 3 replies)

Fuck Me
It's only Friday and already the prejudices are out.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:32, Reply)

People who have lots of uncles/aunties and
spend lots of time with their cousins.

Me: "What are you doing this weekend"

Girl: "Goin' out with me cousins again round town"

It sounds strange but all the "common" people I have known always seem to have lots of uncles and aunties who live in the same town who they are very close with and see all the time. The same applies to the cousins, they hang around like best mates.

I haven't seen some of my aunites/uncles for 10 years+ and I wouldn't recognise 90% of my cousins if they slapped me in the face.

Maybe I'm mad. But I noticed it years ago and I always notice it now.
(brainwrong, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:28, 4 replies)

"Not classy enough" eating
Myself and a bloke from work were wandering a city centre for food prior to something that afternoon. Marvel at how I embellish my story with full details. Yes.

Anyway, wandering about, home to a small cafe type thing, just run by some middle aged woman, I think 'fine, we can grab a sandwich/toastie here, sorted.'
Other bloke however stated that he'd like to go somewhere "a bit more classy." Though I'm not entirely seeing what's wrong with this place, we wander off to look some more.

So where did he decide was "classy" enough for his tastes?

Subway.

Twunt.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:25, 9 replies)