This just in...
As some most nearly all of you will know, the lovely Jessie was killed in May.

As you can imagine, I had quite a bit of time off work afterwards. Four weeks, in fact, followed by a couple of weeks of only doing mornings, then a week of finishing at 2:30, before finally returning full time some seven weeks after the accident. I'd very much like to say at this point, my managers have been excellent: there have been days when I couldn't face going in, or have gone in and been totally distracted all day, or had to leave early, and they've totally supported me at all times.

Today though, I noticed a question on the staff forum on our intranet, from one of my colleagues:

"Dear HR. What is the point of a phased return to work? Surely you're either fit to work, or you're not. It seems very unfair that some people can come into work for a few hours and then go home, whereas we all have to work the hours we're contracted for."

Now, I don't know for a fact that this is directed at me; however I'm not aware of anyone else in the department who's done a phased return recently. I'm really feeling quite hurt - surprisingly so actually, as it's not even a particularly close colleague.

I'm not going to say anything to him, I don't feel up to it, and it may not even be about me... I'm just complaining here, is that okay?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:04, 31 replies)

What you should do, is stick a question on the intranet saying 'what do you propose to do about passive aggressive pricks talking shit'?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:06, closed)

passive aggressive
this term has been abused this week
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 19:04, closed)

I really wish that SOMEONE would stop using the words 'passive aggressive' in their posts.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:10, closed)

The master shows us how.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:10, closed)

this person is clearly a cunt

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:07, closed)

Are you sure it's about you? It's quite an odd person that complains about someone having shorter hours two months after you've returned to work full-time. Plus if it is about you, as everyone else has seen it, they'll doubtlessly now think much the same about the poster as you do.
(johnson, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:09, closed)

No, I'm not sure at all that it's about me...
That said, he knows why I was off, so even if it was about someone else, he surely would know that I'd read it.

Although another possibility has occurred to me: that it wasn't him at all, merely someone with the same name... which isn't exactly stretching the bounds of feasibility in a hospital with 7500 staff O_o
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:26, closed)

That's just..
:/

What's the point in their posting it after you've fully returned to work? I can't understand this
(Tchocky is no longer contagious, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:12, closed)

post a similar notice
About how it's such an excellent idea. Really make them feel shit about it
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 19:43, closed)

Rant away
The internets are always listening, especially to someone such as yourself

I would just avoid asking for constructive advice.
( Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:29, closed)

Don't worry about it
the sort of person who complains about stuff like this spends 90% of their lives feeling wound up at how every one else in the world is "having it easy" and they're getting shafted. They're gonna be miserable cunts til the day they die.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:30, closed)

Never underestimate...
the ability of people to be 'jealous' even in the face of unimaginable loss. When my fiance died, I was barred from his funeral for having fallen out with his parents over the last couple of months of his life (they insisted on more and more painful and harrowing chemo that would do no good at all, merely prolong what had become a wretched existence)
I was permitted to have the day of his funeral off as my boss knew I'd be no good whatsoever.
I found out later that someone had asked "why is Sal having the day off? It's not as if she's going to the funeral. Does she just get a day off for no reason?"

I felt like asking them if they'd like to swap places.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:42, closed)

your story
personally i'd kick the cunting shit out of whoever posted that thread on your intranet thingy. i am deeply sympathetic of your loss but i wouldn't stand for that shit
(slipmatt Thats sooper dooper, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:43, closed)

^ ^ I like

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:37, closed)

I don't think he means harm, he just cannot see the world from any one elses point of view, things are very black and White. I imagine he belives all people on the dole should be forced to work as street sweepers and that it's just lazy people.

Don't feel angry about it, it's simply a sign of his self centered nature.
(Mong goose, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:46, closed)

I think that...
...the point is really if someone has to ask that type of question they clearly don't have the levels of normal human empathy to understand why such phasing may be necessary!

Alternatively, you could post something along the lines of "I for one support phased returns, they have helped me enormously during a turbulent time in my life and have made me feel like a valued member of staff here at XYZ and enabled me to be productive for the optimum amount of time during my recovery instead of not at all." It will a) make him feel shitty, b) be a good way for you to publicly thank your managers without embarrassing them, c) deflect the 'possible' criticism as people will assume he is talking about someone else.


Best of luck.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:49, closed)

I agree with you there number5.
almost completely.
i think it's likely that the culprit is an autism (there are lots of us about) and as such will lack the degree of empathy we would find in a normal. i think that trying to "make him feel shitty" for what is probably accidental is a sad motive.
that said, maybe the guy is just a cunt?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 18:59, closed)

Yes, I was probably being a little
presumptuous and perhaps a bit petty but on reflection if he is lacking he won't notice and therefore won't be offended and if he is just being a whinger he will...hopefully. My motives were a bit squiffy perhaps.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 19:12, closed)

to be fair...
i'm probably just a bit sensitive to autisms being cunted in the fuck for being, well...autisms!
autismlols, the least appreciated lol of all?
i think you're actually bang-on there apart from the first motive and i can easily forgive that on the grounds of getting irated by insensitive actions. we don't even know if he is an autism!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 20:01, closed)

Aw dude.
don't let the bastards grind you down...
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 19:18, closed)

Clearly the guy is thick
Or selfish. Surely even the dumbest person would realise that phased return to work is there specificly so that people who have taken time off due to illness/berevement ect can actualy get used to, and slowly get back into working full time hours instead of dropping them right in the deep end when they're probably still dealing with all kinds of nasty.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 19:33, closed)

I don't know...
...Jessie or you but the inferences are heartbreaking and I wish you nothing but the best. Just relax in the probability that this wasn't aimed at you (so many employees, it's a strong probability) and think of the perpetrator as an insensitive wanker.

It's always very tempting, when so wronged, to break a chair over his or her head. Satisfaction guaranteed and, although the penalties might be severe, it's unlikely that any HR would dare to fire you under those circumstances.

Even better is to try fronting him/her out, by simply and calmly telling them you saw the post and apologising for any disruption to their working life. Even better, post it on the intranet and let everyone see it. Result - one cunt who not only looks like a cunt but feels like one too.

All best to you.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 19:53, closed)

I'm not the biggest fan of violence......
but in this case it's completely justified.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 20:15, closed)

Take no notice
Offensive, certainly. Insensitive, ditto. I'm not one to try to find something to say, except that this has put you in my thoughts and there are jerks everywhere but thankfully they are of little consequence.
(roysin, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:21, closed)

probably some sad little c*nt who wants a bit of attention and isnt getting any...

and the same goes attention!

had a boss do sort of the same thing with me a few years ago when I nearly lost my wife but lost the unborn child....had to apologise to him for threatening to kill him becuase I thought I would lose my job....and this was local government!....utter c*nt
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:25, closed)

My boss's husband died 5 months ago
killed by cancer. It was, by her account, an awful, slow, painful death and she's still suffering. The company that I work for, and it's my third time here, have let her have whatever time she wants. She helps out at the hospice 2 days a week. No-one, not one single person, has complained about her having the time off, she's a lovely lady and very well respected, I love working for her. If anyone complained, they'd have a fucking lynch mob after them.

Prof, there are some petty bastards about, looks like you might have one for a work 'colleague'. Fuck 'em.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:54, closed)

You need to tell us
what happens to the post.
(lemonadegame, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:30, closed)

I lurk and I look and I (mostly) enjoy the twisted geniuses who inhabit this site, I rarely post.

But I feel moved to say you have more friends on this board you've never met than that insensitive prick has who he has met. (Does that make sense?).
(Pugwash, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:29, closed)

Honest response?
-it's probably not about you, but it's natural to feel hurt that it might be
-if it is, they probably have no idea about your circumstances
-if it is, and they do know your circumstances, don't waste your time being angry. Just imagine what it would be like to have to inhabit the head of someone who thinks like that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 9:41, closed)

Well said, that badger.
Also: You got no time, for sweet 909...
(trumpet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:39, closed)

Wise words, I shall do my best to heed them.
Thank you
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 17:27, closed)