Orthodontists
5 years of braces, a mouth-mould every6 weeks which would choke me to vomitting point.

Teeth removed under general, massive holes left in roof of mouth where "extra" tooth had just grown randomly.

and all this to straighten my top teeth.

They have now all moved back when the wisdom teeth pushed through. And they never touched the bottom row which now have an exsquisite middle tooth at the front as they have always been in the wrong places.

If i had to pay for it as well, i would be well miffed.

I have no beef with Calfderno - i am a firm beleiver in Karma. It will come back for them, oh yes it will. And it appears to me it will be something from "The Saw".
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 9 Nov 2006, 16:53, Reply)

I'm sticking up for Caldferno too
Though I've had good and bad experiences at the dentist.

And I think it's quite funny how people apparently abandoned their sense of humour when they read his post.

For those that did, I recommend avoiding the Borat movie.
( Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 16:53, Reply)

Caldferno
Welcome to B3ta. You clearly left your sense of humour at the door.

Please collect it on your way out.
(no way hose is staring unemployment in the face on, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 16:44, Reply)

How true
Calfderno, you're right on the money - but I suspect people won't thank you for it.
(snopesthetruth, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 16:40, Reply)

Dentristry
Thankfully, having always looked after my teeth and never drunk fizzy pop I have reached the grand old age of 22 and never had a thing done to my teeth. I still have three milk teeth because apparently some genetic defect meant I didn't grow the adult ones. One day (no-one seems to know when) they will just fall out and I'll have to have false ones so I can't be too smug really as I have it all to come.

I do however always go to the dentist every sixth months or so just to be on the safe side. He's not NHS (so its not cheap) but he is a nice man and my parents have used him for years. I ahve no reason not to trust him, however after my last visit I may have to rethink that...

I went in, sat down, he counted my teeth, said "You are aware you still have 3 milk one's aren't you?" I said "yes," he said "good, you're teeth are all fine then miss" and sent me on my merry way.

I went downstairs and the receptionist charged me................... £37.50!!!!!!!!!!!

I was in there 7, yes 7 MINUTES!!!!

So I would just like to make you all feel better by letting you know that not only have they put you all through immeasurable pain but they basically earn £321 an hour.

Ponder that a while.
(MyrtleTheTurtle, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 15:55, Reply)

inventors of the world go forth
And create some sort of pain sharing device so that dentist can get hooked up to their patients. hey presto, no more sneering and condescention!

(Also make it adaptable for pleasure while you're at it)
(Darth Vegas Poke It With A Stick, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 15:53, Reply)

Caldferno
Good point, well made.
(aroe_m0rre, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 15:46, Reply)

Caldferno
I suspect you haven't really looked at b3ta that much have you? If you have then I suggest you look again..
(flibbley lame balloon man far and wee, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 15:29, Reply)

Look, just gas me, and pull the bleeder out...
...was what I was screaming at my dentist in that all-too-common muffled voice as he proceeded to 'repair' one of my molars by performing a root canal on it, WITHOUT ANAESTHETIC.

Dentists and Dominatrixes are the only people who can make a 21 year old, 6'0 tall steelworker's son from Sheffield cry, and charge £100 for the privelidge.

Damn them, damn them all.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 15:27, Reply)

A Riposte
To your riposte...

You condescending twunt.

but now you people sit on your fat arses watching Tricia or the fucking Jeremy Kyle show or you do some job that I imagine isn't very difficult or makes much difference to anyone

So allow me to retort......


Here on B3ta we've lawyers, doctors (including at least 1 surgeon), dozens of computer experts, pilots, members of the Armed Forces (officers and squaddies), several members of the emergency services, authors, teachers and Uncle Tom Cobley and all. In fact, pretty much any occupation you can care to name is represented here in B3ta.

And then we've you. A self-important, failed doctor who thinks pain is something to be embraced and not avoided. A cheerless bigot who assumes that people who read B3ta have the same tastes in TV as you do - namely Trisha and Jeremy Kyle.

So go catch some painful illness and then come back here and impress us all with your manly refusal to take pain meds.

Git

Cheers!
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 14:52, Reply)

my dentist
is fab. even though he's in posh cheshire he's still nhs so my check ups are £4.20. when the alcoholic abusive bedsh1tting ex boyfriend and boss broke my front tooth with a glass, he charged me £7.50 to cap it - i'd been expecting about £300, having been looking online. and i've been going since i was 7 and i've never had a filling.

how smug am i?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 14:43, Reply)

Nietzsche's Dentist
Was called Herr E Knackers. True story.
(frankspencer, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 14:38, Reply)

QUOTE:
"[pain] will always be a fact of life that should be accepted (and Nietzsche would say even embraced)..."

I've had chronic pain for about thirteen years. During these thirteen years lots of people told me I should just accept it and learn to live with it. I've recently found the reason why I have this pain, and thus can hopefully treat it. This wouldn't have happened if I'd listened to anyone.

Refusal to accept bad things and an expectation that your pain should be taken away and your standard of living should improve is what makes progress happen.

And let's remember that Nietzsche fundamentally appeals to goths who haven't read him and people who find Nazism insufficiently pretentious.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 14:25, Reply)

Caldferno.
A dentist who reads Nietzsche? Now I am fucking terrified...
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 14:02, Reply)

caldferno... honestly
please, get a sense of humour.

i've been relatively lucky with my teeth - the only thing that's let me down has been a few jab-happy dentists, an orthodontist who seemed to think it was ok for me to bleed profusely daily in my mouth (i had to sleep with the brace out, in case i choked on pooling blood), and an ongoing front-tooth veneer situation, still not solved fully after over 15 years as somehow the root still hasn't died.

however, my poor friend, who through her teenage years, was put through excrutating pain and lengthy procedures by an NHS dentist who has since been struck off for performing unneccessary work, would not see it the same way as me. now she has had to pay to repair everything this dentist has done, and her faith is long since lost.

you cannot piously preach that we have no right to complain, as if all dentists were as 'fine' as your tone seems to lay claim to being. maybe it is simple professional pride that is preventing you from discussing the horror stories i'm sure you and your colleagues on occasion share - all industries have cowboys, and even professionals make mistakes.

case in point: i now have a great plumber. he's a nice guy, doesn't overcharge, and i trust him.
however, my last plumber was let into my flat by the letting agent, and proceeded to spunk all over my wet knickers, just removed from the washing machine whilst i ran out to get lunch.
does this mean all plumbers are great, or evil skanky perverts?
and how come i'm laughing about it?

your argument is flawed, in that you are not taking either the minority to count, nor are you appreciating the humour in which this QOTW has been asked.

we're not stupid. we know we have to go to the dentists, to brush our teeth, to avoid eating sugary foods. but some people here have clearly been scarred, both figuratively and literally, by their dental experiences. you are not showing any respect towards them, nor the humour they find in this. this is b3ta, remember?

you should be ashamed in not taking account of those who clearly give your profession the reputation, or rather tarnish, it has. you can't have gone into your business totally unaware of this, and it seems to me your are adamant in fighting this off. well, good luck with that.

but you are blissfully unaware of one major point - you business is to stick pointy things in people's mouths. how can you fail to see the humour/horror in that? really?

sorry for rantage, but i have no qualms in discussing my own and my friends'/colleagues'/acquainances' follies and blunders. i cannot understand why anyone else here, of all places, would.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 13:49, Reply)

Is it safe?
On my first visit to the dentist for 10 years, I was delighted to be asked whether or not I'd ever seen Marathon Man. Just as he began drilling.

I'm not sure if my full rectal prolapse was quite the reaction he was expecting.
(Light, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 13:23, Reply)

I am not sure if this is everyone's experience
but all the dentists I know are on the higher end of drug intake at the University.
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 13:07, Reply)

Caldferno: fair exchange? flame on!
I'd accept the pain if you accept mediaeval wages
until then laffing gas boy
STFU, ok?
I remember getting gas as a 5 yr old and then being punted onto the street, still bleeding, half awake and with the warning-don't let him go to sleep-mediaeval?

quartering is too good for 'em
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 13:04, Reply)

A healthy black sheen
My personal rule of only having to go to a Dentist whenever it's my eighth birthday has so far been very successful. I've not had to go to the dentists in about 13 years.
(Squirminator2k is funny 'cos he's ginger, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 12:46, Reply)

I was going to post....
... about skateboard accidents, crooked teeth, and the three years of face pain and sleepness nights from braces inflicted on me by a nuerotic mother who had a dentist for a dad and a consequent want for me to have "nice" teeth. Then I was going to complain that my teeth all went back to how they were.

Oh... I have... bugger.

Turns out that my teeth went back to their pre brace state because my wisdom teeth are growning forwards, pushing all my teeth to the front of my jaw.

When I went to have my wisdom teeth removed, the first thing the maxilofacial surgeon (it was that bad) said to me was "Have you seen Marathon Man?". Which I had. I didn't find his "joke" funny.

It was also the day after the clocks changed, I hadn't changed the time on my phone (slack like that). So I thought I'd been operated on for an hour longer than I should have been.

Then the computer at the hospital dispensary broke, so they couldn't give me my oh so lovely painkillers until my face really hurt.

Couldn't drink, couldn't smoke, in pain. Nice.

Edit: Big up the Kersal McMissive... I hope you got an "Immune to facial torture" badge after that!
(ralphseviltwin, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 11:32, Reply)

Mask well and truly slipped, I'd say
"...but now you people sit on your fat arses watching Tricia or the fucking Jeremy Kyle show or you do some job that I imagine isn't very difficult or makes much difference to anyone and you come into my surgery and moan and writhe and groan in agony at seconds of sensation that your great grandparents or serfs in china would laugh at."

What the FUCK?

I assume from the L plates that Calfdermo is not fully aware of the rich tapestry of the demographic writing on these boards, but I sincerely hope that I never have to be treated by someone who has such a narrow and scathing view of his patients.

Sir, you truly are a revolting snob. Maybe you honestly went into dentistry to "make a difference", as you so piously demean others for not doing so. However, it's far more likely that you went into it for the vast amounts of wedge and/ or because it was easier than becoming a doctor.

Thank goodness my dentist is a good sort, because if he was as big a wanker as you I too would have a mouth Shane McGowan would be ashamed of.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 11:24, Reply)

Me mate goes to the Dentist
The Dentist is all smiles, and shouts in a psycho-happy voice;
"I got this new needle, cost me a grand, can I use it on you pleasepleasepleaseplease?"
He was a bit wary after that.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 10:59, Reply)

Calfderno - Hi
Nice post - really. The voice of calm reason (though your mask slipped just a little towards to the end, justifiably).

I would like to propose to a 'kids today don't know they're born' QOTW, but I fear we may be out-numbered. When our daughter was obnoxious, we'd take her mobile phone away until she calmed down/apologised to us.

I've found it's very easy to wind up youngsters, and very satisfying too...though what they're doing on b3ta when they should be down-loading their course work for their GCSE Media Studies I don't know!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 9:13, Reply)

Just thought I'd say
www.b3ta.com/questions/dentists/post65267/

Calfderno - Thanks for reinforcing the image of the frustrated, patronising dentist.

I personally have nothing against dentists - I've been lucky and had some great ones who have fixed what needed to be fixed and advised me professionally (I've had also my share of bad ones, who have ended up paying me..).

I have a particular place in my black, bitter heart for those in the medical profession who have nothing better to do than say things like: "You come to us with problems you have mostly brought on yourself through your own laziness and or ignorance and expect us to fix them" (amongst other patronising ramblings)

Yes we do expect you to fix them - and Dentists get paid handsomely, so they should shut the fuck up and do their job.

And should you ever be in a situation where a nerve is sliced in two, bringing you into a world of unbearable white agony and excruciating blinding pain, I hope you will think of those poor 'Chinese' and 'medieval peasants'.

Please print out your post and hang it in your "Surgery" - your patients deserve to know who is operating on them.

Utter, utter fucking Cock, Sir/Madam.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 8:50, Reply)

Aye
Kersal McMissive, my hat is off to you.

I've had various dental dramas. I wear partial dentures as a result. Fortunately my dentist is the most highly regarded in my city/State, and happens to be the father of a very good friend of mine, so the cost has been minimal. I dive a bit and for years I have given him (the dad) part of my seafood spoils, so what goes around...

As for pain, in my experience its been more discomfort than anything. And my brain running wild. Adrenalin has kicked in a few times after a needle and I have felt fine but have had the shakes something fierce. With a good dentist, I think its more a mental issue than anything else.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 6:34, Reply)

Orthodontics
When I was little, my teeth were in a state, to put it lightly. They were monstrous because I'd been ill as an infant, which somehow wrecked the enamel on the adult teeth forming inside my gums, so when the baby teeth fell out the new ones came in crooked and discoloured. Genetics were not on my side, either. Something had to be done.

...And by something, I mean over a decade of every orthodontic appliance known to man. The worst were the expansion devices meant to widen my upper jaw. They looked similar to this and I had two of them for a total of maybe three years. Every couple days I'd have to use a little metal "key" to turn a wheel in the centre, which would push my jaw apart little by little. The part in the centre was always getting peanuts stuck in it. At one point I couldn't remove the offending nut no matter how many implements I stuck up there, and it started rotting - nasty. The really bad part was, when I had the expander the second time, I started getting terrible pains down the centre of my nose, and I had to get x-rays done to make sure it wasn't SPLITTING APART MY NOSE. Thankfully, it wasn't.

Because the device has to be cemented to some of your upper teeth to keep it in place, it is HELL having it removed. The orthodontist takes pliers and twists and pulls until the cement stuff cracks. I screamed so loud on the second occasion that the next day someone came up to me in school and said, "I heard you at the orthodontist's...you sounded like you were dying."

Then I had to wear an awful tooth positioner when I was at home. It's a giant rubber slab you're supposed to bite into really hard. It worked just fine until my brother made me laugh and I started choking on it.

And of course I had the brace, upper and lower. But that was just a small part compared to all the other shit! However, for a while I had to hook tiny rubber bands onto the brace brackets to correct my bite, which stopped me opening my mouth wide enough to talk clearly. Arse.

Don't forget two different types of headgear to be worn only at night (thank god - look at these monstrosities). The first was similar to this but had a vertical bar running down the centre. It meant that I had to sleep with a bath towel under my jaw because otherwise I would keep stabbing myself in that little hollow between the clavicles. The second was more like this. (No, that's definitely not me in either photo!)

I'm still supposed to wear this horrible rigid plastic retainer thing at nights because I can still feel my teeth moving around a bit, but to tell you the truth I'm sick of it. All those years and they still move around, so what's the point. And for my troubles, I started grinding my teeth as a result of wearing these things. Grrrr. I also have a wire permanently cemented along the inside of six of my bottom teeth. In total, five of my baby teeth had to be pulled because they just WOULD NOT FALL OUT. The adult one would grow in right in front of it, so I'd have two in one spot. And my wisdom teeth were a nightmare to get out - full general anaestheic, thank you very much.

But on the plus side, with some additional sealants and fillings for cavities caused by the weakened enamel, my teeth look rather good now.

No apologies for length...I suffered for it!
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 5:02, Reply)

I was little.... about 6 or 7 I think
But I had to have a tooth pulled and for some reason they did a HORRIBLE job at injecting the novocaine..... they had to stick me a couple times and at some point during the pulling process, the novocaine started to wear off. But the actual process of injection of the suff hurt SO much worse I didn't say anything and just dealt with it wearing off and kinda feeling my tooth being pulled.... miserable
(Sebowe Aphex says I have a killer pout, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 4:54, Reply)

I was a nervous little child
So nervous, in fact, that when I had to get my first cavities filled, I freaked out at the sight of the needle full of novocaine. After many unsuccessful attempts to calm me, the dentist decided, alright, we'll just fill the cavities without any anaesthetic.

I was six years old. I screamed the place down as they drilled into my teeth with absolutely nothing to dull the pain. I wish that upon nobody.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Thu 9 Nov 2006, 4:43, Reply)