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This is a question Fancy Dress

Two words that fill me with dread. Fancy Dress. Some people really get off on this - last party I went to that involved dressing up, one bloke came in a sort of fetish-nazi outfit, all tight black pvc, whips and jackboots.* Which would have been OK but it was a Eurovision party, and he'd come as Austria.

What's the worst costume you've encountered? Or worn? Or been made to wear...

*and no, it wasn't one of them royals

(, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 20:15)
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This question is now closed.

Not really anecdotes, more a list
I don't really have much in the way of embarassing stories, but i do love my fancy dress parties and will force them on other people whenever I can.

In recent years I've done:

Cartoon Characters- I went as He-Man complete with a furry cushion cover as my "trunks" and chest plate made out of mousemats I stole from work. A couple of friends turned up as Daphne and Velma from Scooby-Doo, only for someone else to turn up in a full Scooby outfit.

Winners & Losers- Went as Hulk hogan. Actually grew the moustache for it and got a t-shirt printed up

Sit-Com characters- blacked up and thanks to a visit to TK maxx sportswear dept made a rather convincing Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The hair was made out of card covered in felt. One girl turned up as the tortoise from the opening credits of One Foot in the Grave- priceless.

And for various Hallowe'ens, I've been Ash (Evil Dead- complete with cardboard chainsaw and all-too accurate scars), Snake Plisken, and most recently a Ghostbuster. This particular one cost me over £70 to make, including the photo-accurate proton pack which was complete with various lights and sounds. Trouble was, I had to dislocate me shoulder just to put the gun into its holster. It was worth it.

Apologies for length, first time, boringness
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 15:30, Reply)
Childhood shame
In primary school I won three times in a row. Once as a post box - but no ordinary postbox - this was 1977! A silver jubilee postbox!! Or rather, a big bit or carboard rolled into a tude and a plastic bin lid on top, all sprayed silver by me da. Brilliant.
The second time was even more embarrassing - I went as a sheep! My mum made me do it! A big woolly jumper and trousers, lovingly knitted by her and me granny, a sheep mask (ah, the horror, I can't type this any more), and according to my mum, some sort of tail and also white shoes. My mum's white shoes. Christ, thinking about it now they should have shot me rather than letting me win!
The third one kind of makes up for it - the week before the compo I'd foolishly ran into a wall and got three stitches in my eyebrow. Three big black stitches! There was only one thing for it - I had to go as a pirate! The scar was just the thing and the fool judges obviously felt sorry for me after I'd pokeds it a bit and made it nice and red! Genius!
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 14:56, Reply)
Some kind of spiderman, like?
Every few Saturday nights at Rockshots in Newcastle, about 8 years ago, there was a theme night. We'd check the flyers, hit the second hand stores and produce something ridiculous but fun. The tackier the better, the camper the better, the cheaper the better - once the drugs kicked in everyone looked brilliant anyway :)
Halloween and I tried to wrap myself in bandages - you'd think ten metres would be enough but it barely did me arms and legs! Ended up putting on a white dressing down and doing me arms, half me face, and me legs from the knees down! That's about the level of quality of fancy dress we're talking here, okay? Imagine how well safety pins kept it together after an hours dancing and you'll realise how glad I was I'd a dressing gown with me!
So one week, and I can't for the life of me remember what the theme could have been, I had to go as a cat. Couldn't afford a catsuit - we were all on the dole! I ended up with black tights and a black bodysuit, black socks on my arms and hands, a cat "eye-and-ear mask" cut from a cornflakes packet and painted black, black shoepolish on my nose in a triangle, and the piece de resistance, a tail! Or rather a long black sock stuffed with rolled up newspaper and safety pinned to my arse! Fantastic! Gimme a pill, please! Let's go party!
We arrive together and I realise I've forgotten me cash! Fuck! There was only one thing for it - time was short and it was cold out! I flagged down a taxi and hopped in, carefully putting my tail on my lap as I did so.
The taxi driver, to his credit, didn't yell in his best Geordie accent that I get my freakish self the fuck out his car. He just said, "What are ye then? Some kind of spider man, like?" as the pill started to come on and I gigglingly tried to explain that I was a cat, man.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 14:49, Reply)
bad taste
my friend sam was gutted when the drama department of her university [birmingham] had a bad taste party. she studied languages, so wasn't going to the party. but no fewer than five different drama students came up to her, on separate occasions, and asked to borrow various pieces of clothing that she wore on an everyday* basis. how trauamatised would you be?! she only wears black now...

* - i mean not as fancy dress, not literally everyday. that would stink. and she might have had a penchant for stripey cardigans and luminous clumpy trainers, but she was very clean. unlike many students. or indeed, residents of birmingham.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 13:51, Reply)
I love me
back when I was a stoodent I had the idea of a "come as one of your friends" fancy dress party. granted, this is how most stoodents tend to dress anyway (arf) but as we were the indie lot there was enough variation to make it worthwhile.

anyway, on the day of the party I got in a mard and decided not to go. saw the photos a few days later and TWO of my friends went dressed as me


mind you, one of them couldn't remember what my tattoos looked like and so drew a big daisy on his forearm. not very manly.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 13:30, Reply)
class swot
We had a little competition in my class (back when living in Boston, USA), and each of us had to come as a character from a book.

Cue people dressing up as Tintin, Dorothy etc.

And me as Bilbo Baggins. Complete with a riddle for people to work out who I was.

Yes, I was precocious. Yes, I won.

So there.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 13:01, Reply)
ill-fitting costume
A friend of mine decided to be elaborate one Halloween and dressed up as his battered inner child. He did a good job of the battered part, covered with artfully applied fake blood, bruises and scars, but to signify the inner child part he wore a dinosaur costume he first wore when he was nine. It didn't quite fit anymore and was artfully ripped here and there so he could spill out, which was a nice addition to the battered look. But the crotchal area remained intact... and displayed the worst case of faded green felty-fabric male-pattern camel toe ever. It was truly nauseating to behold, mostly because it looked so horribly painful. Honestly, you couldn't look at it without curling up in empathy. He didn't seem too bothered though, and happily wandered about the party until the screams of protest finally overwhelmed and he was forced to change.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 12:55, Reply)
Primary school, circa 1988
There was a dressing-up day at school. The theme? Famous literary detectives. You would think that my mother would put her 9-year-old, chubby, glasses-wearing son in costume as maybe Dr Watson or something (hell, he's near enough to a literary detective), but no. She dug out some old clothes, my gran's handbag and her lace gloves and sent me to school as Miss Fucking Marple.

I no longer speak with my mother.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 12:54, Reply)
Plumbers and pigs
So it's my mate's posh new girlfriend's 21st birthday. She'd already met a couple of us and though thinking a few of us we're a bit fuckwitted, she invited she invited us all as well so that we could all rejoice in their new-found love.

Of course to make it a night to remember she decided that everyone would have to dress up as cartoon characters. Amazingly enough everyone obliged.

Initially I was going to go team up with my best mate. Me to be Danger Mouse and him as Penfold. However, due to a lack of planning on the day the best I could find was some old man pissed-stained long-johns. Now, funny as this could have been as "geriatric heroes" I was reluctant to wear second-hand soiled garments all evening.

So quickly plans were changed and I became Luigi, sidekick to another mate obviously dressed as Mario whilst the other guy got some leopard skin pants and instantly became Prince Nasseem.

The party started well. Everyone came dressed up and was steadily getting merrier. Then out came the numerous plates of Vodka jelly. Everyone joined in a bit, though it seemed that our group were getting into the mood probably a little more than the rest of the party. Especially, Mario who was treating the plates as though they were gold coins and collecting all that he could.

Anyway, as I said this girl was pretty posh. In fact her parents lived in Maurisus and she barely ever saw them... so low and behold when daddy turns up to make his little girl's day. None of us had seen him before of course but that didn't really excuse "Prince Naseem" warning him off when he went and hugged his daughter.

As you may have guessed everyone was a bit pissed by this point and my mate who was going out with the girl was trying to keep a lid on us. But nobody could now find Mario.

The search wasn't exactly a suspenseful one. We simply followed the trail of vomit to the door where he was slumped outside.

Seemingly being tarnished with the same brush because I was from the same computer game it was left up to me to get him and also Naz to Stockwell (where we were meant to be staying at the birthday girl's)!
Clearly no cab was going to take a pair of dungaree wearing clowns and shivering Asian anywhere. So we traipsed from London Bridge to Stockwell - in the frosty winter night.

So, we're all a little grumpy - especially Mario after wearily being shoved home almost all the way to stop him falling asleep when we finally find the road we need.

Inexplicably the Prince decides that this would be the perfect time to flick Mario's heels and like a felled tree he falls face-first on to the pavement - lacking the reactions to even put out his arm

Being the good mates that we are we of course laugh, but try and get the lump to his feet. Next thing a car pulls up.

It's not a Police car just an ordinary Ford Escort. The guy winds down his window and asks us what we're doing. I explained that we were just getting our mate up and that we were on our way home, absolutely as politely as that. To this the guy snaps "Well fucking get a move on or I'll arrest you all"
"Um, yeah we are just trying to get our mate up... but what would you arrest us for?"
He and a woman now get out of the car, not in any uniform, walk towards us and he says "Right, you're nicked"
I ask for some ID obviously, to which the woman shows me some handcuffs. Call me sceptical, but I wasn't going to get in a car with someone showing me those sorts of credentials and say as much before again querying what we are going to be charged with.
The guy responds with "Drunk and disorderly" to which I tell him that although drunk there was no real disturbance until they turned up threatening us. Naz then chips in that we're practically home and we will make sure that we're quiet until we get there.
The so-called Police agree to this warning me in particular to keep my mouth shut before returning to their car.

We start to walk on as the car turns around before I, in what I can only call my drunken worldly wisdom, decide to pull the wanker sign at them. Car screeches to a halt reverses sharply towards us and out they hop. He's really pissed of now and trying to get at me. The three of us are jockeying backwards and there's quite a lot of noise. People from birthday girl's house start coming out to see what the fuck's going on including our mate and I get dragged inside. At the door however, still with the commotion happening, Mr Policeman jumps up and takes a swing at me (which fortunately missed) and he's pushed back outside and simultaneously me inside.

I now storm into the living room wearing my head off only to see our mate's girlfriend's dad sat on the sofa looking very disapprovingly. Then in stumbles Mario before in walks our half-naked Hindu hombre.

I'm glad to say though that this episode didn't mess things up with my mate and this girl. In fact they got married two years ago... and we were all invited too.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 10:22, Reply)
Not really embarrasing
I once dressed as a nuclear missile. Large sheet of cleverly shaped carboard painted silver, some hand-drawn logos pasted on, and I'm a WMD. 'Course this was before the term WMD had been invented, early '90s something.

Worked pretty well except I couldn't sit down (the eternal dilemma) and I only had a little hole to just slightly stick my hand out of to hold things. I couldn't eat or drink at all.

My default lazy costume is a ninja. Wear black clothes, whip up a t-shirt ninja hood, get hit by traffic crossing the street in the dark.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 9:49, Reply)
Nazi priest
Maybe I've posted this before as a response to a different question. About three years ago I went out on halloween dressed as a Nazi priest, wearing a black suit, priest's collar and a swaztika armband, with my hair creepily swept to the side. The concept of the costume was meant to be "Why politics and religion should not be mixed" but I think that was pitched a little bit over the drongo's heads. I have never got so much shit from neds as that night, because as I was dressed as a nazi, it stands to reason I must be one. No sense of irony.
The next year I went as Ash from the Evil Dead complete with buzzing chainsaw hand. Which was fine except if I wanted to go for a piss, I had to enlist the help of Jason Vorhees.
The year after that I was playing basketball dressed as John Dillinger with Satan and some actual japanese salarymen.
This year god knows, although a friend is having a costume party next week, and I have the perfect costume - Stalin! Oh yes.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 8:32, Reply)
21st birthday party
One of my friends had a medieval-themed party. Me and my then-girlfriend got a book from the library on medieval costumes, and made a Byzantine noblewoman's costume for her, entirely out of old clothes that she owned, which was ridiculously authentic-looking. I had an inaccurate but amusing Scottish highlander costume; her tartan skirt, an army blanket & one of her brooches as a cloak, blue paint on face - the amusingness of it mostly being my weedy physique.

Everyone else, including the birthday girl herself, interpreted 'medieval' as 'wear your best goth clothes'. Presumably the reasoning was, what...

a) Dracula is from the middle ages and goth clothes look kind of like that, that's right isn't it? No, it's fucking well not right, Dracula is represented as wearing the normal clothes of a rich man of the time in which the book is set ie the Victorian age.
b) I couldn't possibly wear anything except my goth clothes, will somebody please call the 'waaaaahmbulance' as I am a big fucking baby.

I'm leaning towards b.

I mean Jesus Christ, it's not difficult -

i) have you ever seen Robin Hood or any other show set in the middle ages on TV?
ii) were there goths in it?

No? well perhaps goth clothes don't look medieval.

And, now that I think about it, you know how there are like two different kinds of goth 'looks' - the more modern PVC/Marilyn Manson-ey one and the older shirt/long-dress pseudo Victorian-ey one? I've just remembered that everyone had carefully gone for the latter 'old school' look. Because obviously, if you're trying to evoke the 1500s, God forbid you should look like someone from the 1990s as opposed to someone from the 1980s vaguely evoking the 1890s. Then you'd be out of theme.

Note to people who want to both wear their goth clothes and have a themed fancy-dress party: make the theme the Victorian age, the 80s, horror films, bondage, come-as-your-favourite-colour, or 'unlikely subjects for a Ken Loach film'.

I think I have the wrong attitude towards fancy dress.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 1:46, Reply)
I dunno about worst
But I once got a pair of old wellies, and took a blowtorch (see: lighter) to the toe of one of them, put on some tatty op-shop overalls and a flannelette shirt, frazzled my hair and smeared my face with charcoal.

Result: Electrician who had been involved in an industrial accident.

I thought that it was pretty obvious, but the amount of dunderheads who asked me how my boot had melted drove me to distraction.
(, Wed 18 Jan 2006, 1:18, Reply)
My mate went as a female playboy bunny (with a VERY big package) and dared me (after reading some book) to go out wearing a black bin bag as a dress, bunny rabbit slippers and a loo seat (clean) round my neck. I did it, and got free drinks all night off him, plus some off random people for my courage. Bouncer felt sorry for me and let me in free as well.
Taxi home was free too, because the driver just wanted to get away from us.

All in all, a good night.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 23:59, Reply)
new years eve 2 times ago... we were wetting ourselfs, everyone was shitting themselfs - although funny not recommended any more
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 23:41, Reply)
Went as Mad Max 2.
Took me forever to make the outfit; finding just the right leather bits from charity shops, sewing stuff together, and even jumping up and down on it in the veg patch to make it dusty and that. I even made his leg calliper out of bits of scrounged welding rod bent together. I stride clankingly into the party, trying to look all 'ard and "lone wolf", and the first bird who lays eyes on me says to me "Are you Duran Duran?"
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 23:38, Reply)
This isn't funny, BUT:
Halloween party at local youth club when I was 9. I knew nobody would put any effort into their costumes, and I wanted to go as a cool-zombie type thing with ripped clothes and blood etc. so I looked cool for the girls blah blah blah...
BUT, dad insisted he put his artistic skills to the test and wrapped me in about 5 miles of bandages so I could be a Mummy. They fell off half way through the disco and the girls laughed at the Speedos I had on underneath the bandage. I have never forgiven the man to this day.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 23:29, Reply)
Friend of mine in Nottingham
had a Blues Brothers themed party many years ago. so having travelled 50 miles by train we had a mile to walk to his local where we were all joining up. on leaving the station the three of us were clocked by a group of about six skinheads who took it into their tiny minds to follow us. We sped up, they sped up. so they were definitely following us several stressfull minutes were had till finally we reached the pub. where the skinheads charged in after us only to back out just as quickly when they found themselves facing forty blues brothers.

Or there's the night I ended up dressed as a devil with stuck on horns and a six foot long devils tailand bright red makeup along with a witch, a huge vampire, and a guy dressed as a ghost with cloak and covered head to foot in luminous makeup, realised on the way to the party that I'd recieved a producer so had to visit the police station, with the aforementioned gang of chuckling maniacs to show all of my cars documents to a worried looking police sergeant. (to make things worse, we were the only people who went in fancy dress)
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 21:36, Reply)
More non-imagination...

Commuter zombie is always a good one. Bit o' white make-up, suit (it's pretty much always due down the cleaner's soon, aynway), copy of Metro. Easy.

And unimaginative.

PS - Yes, have done that twice as well.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 21:19, Reply)
What a cop out.
I couldn't be arsed to use my imagination, so I just went and hired a nun's habit.


PS - Yes. I am a man.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 21:13, Reply)
The best party theme, but the scariest outfits
"What you were wearing when the brothel was raided". Got the idea from a mate in town, and used it again. I THOROUGHLY RECOMMEND THIS ONE -- but make sure you don't forget to invite women, if you know what I mean.

Some of the outfits were genius. Some of them were pretty scary. Adult babies, sinners, sluts, flashers and cops. Ace. The couple who dressed up as Postman Pat and his Cat were a bit surreal. And why oh why did one guy shove a condom up his bum?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 20:56, Reply)
and another one...
The party itself was excellent. Very enjoyable. However, being thrown out of someone's Wedding Reception for dancing on the dance floor dressed as Elvis, accompanied by the Devil, Darth Maul and Princess Leia was a bit scary. And then some people who were more drunk than me who tried to throw us into the river. Bit strange.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 20:53, Reply)
There might be a few of these, if I can be arsed to tell them all...
Some friends had a house warming party. They said to wear something bright or sparkly. So I stuffed a toy doll down my trousers and went as Gary Glitter.

What, what?
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 20:50, Reply)
the scene: fancy dress party.
hot girl comes in wearing lots of make-up and short skirt.

Me: what have you come as, no wait lemme guess.
hmmm........o yea! a Slut?!

Her: err acctually i couldnt find a costume so i just went in normal clothes

Me: *curls up into balls and sucks thumb*
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 20:34, Reply)
A couple of ideas...
I once turned up as a KKK member, with my brother similarly kitted out, for a bad taste party. What probably took it too far was my father's idea that we should shove a burning cross into their lawn. But Hitler answered the door, and seemed fairly OK with it all. My dad went as President Kennedy after his assasination. Popcorn with red paint looks a lot like brains.

Recently, for New Years, we decided to have a fancy-dress party to the tune of 'anything you want, but it must begin with the letter you pull out of the Scrabble bag'. I got to go as a stegosaurus. Fortunately, a tramp sat on my tail, so I got to retreat to my bedroom to 'fix it', with the help of a very, very attractive hippy.

His Holiness Pope Pius IX
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 19:23, Reply)
another KKK one, another cross-dressing one...yawn.
my girlfriend's 21st had the theme "Lady's Night". So, having quizzed her about her intended costume, and found a cheap copy (including a wig to match her bright crimson hair), I went as her. Apparently the sight of two people in identical girl's clothes, one of them a bloke, getting off with each other, sent the half-a-dozen people on mushrooms, sitting huddled in the opposite corner of the living room, into an hour-long collective panic attack.

Also, some of the girlfriend's former housemates went to a White Trash party as the KKK. And, when I went, I do mean walked to the party in full costume. Or, at least, halfway to the party, whereupon a large car pulled onto the pavement in front of them, and four very big, very very angry young black men jumped out. They ran all the way home, and refused to leave until the next morning.

length, first post, blah blah blah.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 18:16, Reply)
Sea Theme Fancy Dress Party
That was the title of the photocopy invitation card that was passed to me in the pub one Saturday afternoon .. I thought straight away YAAAAAAAR pirate outfit , but where am i going to find a fancy dress out fit i thought , its late Saturday afternoon .

I got home trying to find a garment to be creative with, but i had nothing but a stuff seal gull that came home with us from a wild drunked weekend in Margate, I knew that i had loads of black bin liners so i got the black duck tape out and wrap myself up in black bin liners and taped the now painted black sea gull to my shoulders, all i had to do was to black up my face and hey presto I'm a Oil Slick

I know from a distant I may have looked like a kinky version of the Mummy , well it got me into the party, but the outfit didn't last long , the back of the out fit melted when i got to near to the barbecue, so dont try this at home folks.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 16:20, Reply)
The only 5 words you need...
...when someone you know is planning a party and toys with the idea of fancy dress are:


For me, there'll always be a big difference between having a laugh and looking like a total cock. And as for the multitude of wanky visual puns like 'fuckin dis custard', 'premature ejaculation' etc, all that would earn you in my gaff is an invitation to fuck off at gunpoint for being a witless twat.

When it comes to fancy dress, I've been a miserable old git since birth. No apologies offered. Meeehhhhhhhhh.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 16:06, Reply)
Not me, but my dad
My dad once went to a halloween party dressed as a zombie... nothing special there, you might say, he had the usual, green facepaint, ripped shirt... and a liver attached to his shirt, actual liver, fresh from the butchers.

Needless to say, by the end of the night it started to smell a bit, made worse when people decided to throw chunks of it at each other...
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 15:28, Reply)
Fancy Dress
At a holiday camp aged 8 during the time of the "Spycatcher" book scandel, i went dressed as a spy, in trenchcoat, shades & trilby, carrying a book marked "spycatcher". Did this topical piece of costume genius win? No, that honour went to a kid in his swimming trunks proclaiming to be Tarzan. What a swizz! Good job i beat the crap out of him the next day and left him at the bottom of the ballpit.
(, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 15:24, Reply)

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