had quite a few girlfriends and never fell in love with any of them
until I suddenly found myself in love with a fella! Didn't see that one coming, but it was for about 2 minutes until I shifted into Broken Heart Mode 'cos it was perhaps the worst situation I could have ever found myself in. But I've put that down to simply a false start, so now actually looking to fall in love for the first time. I'm 22, so wasted quite a lot of time already, but drunken sex will do for the time being!
( Satur9 The shoes!, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:27, Reply)

Cheetara.
Drool.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:22, Reply)

Christopher Collis.
From the first day of nursery at school we were a couple till around year 3-4 primary school (8-9 years old). I always remember when I got ahead of him in the maths books!
It wasnt love, It was just a thing we both decided from that day on. He was freakishly tall for his age, myst be about 7 foot now. Always had someone to slowdance with at primary school. He was in scouts while I was in brownies. Aparrently he had lots of girlfriends, but I never saw them

All ended when I got him a (for me in those days, expencive) forever friends valentines card and secretly put it in his school draw, where his best mate read it out in class and he didnt do a thing. He had cold like knees anyway.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:22, Reply)

When I was a sweet 4 year old with pigtails,
I was in love with a boy called Matthew Thompson. He was my boyfriend in primary school too. He was blonde.
The next person I fell in love with at Primary school was also blonde...

I guess I must have been emotionally scarred by it all because now I'm a grown up (er....does 26 count) I never go for blondes.
(Oops....did I say that out loud cos I really bloody want to., Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:20, Reply)

Mrs Palm...
And her five ugly daughters.
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:19, Reply)

Another First Love.
Bit of a difficult question to answer is this QOTW as every time I've been in love it's been like the first time. So time to unburden myself of this particular demon....

And as there are people who read B3ta who know me and all of the protagonists in this next little drama I could be in for some flak shortly. Ah well. This tale is too stupid *not* to be told. I'll change, slightly, some names to protect the guilty.

The last great love of my life was a year ago. We'll call her Karen (not her name) and I was supposed to be the best man at her wedding. She was engaged to an Ozzie mate of mine. But it's more complicated than that. Just before she got together with me, she was going out with my now flat-mate, A.

What happened was that when I was still married, my Ozzie mate came to stay in the village where we lived and fell in love with the place. So much so, that he sold up in London and bought a house in the village. Me, Ozzie and my wife, were pretty much inseparable. I worked with Ozzie and after work he'd generally be round my place with me and my wife or in the pub with me and wife. In fact, he got on with my wife better than I did! (That gets important later on)

Then, after a wedding in the village, he met Karen, a bridesmaid at said wedding and the two of them got together. All was fine for a few weeks then Karen began to get increasingly jealous of my wife because of the time we all spent together and wife developed a massive jealousy/hatred towards Karen. me and Ozzie were stuck in the middle. Eventually it got to a horrible state of affairs where my wife wouldn't speak to Ozzie or Karen (except to slag them off) and Karen developed a (justified) hatred of my wife. With me still working with Ozzie and my wife having a go at me if I even spoke to him, this state of affairs totally fucked my life up. To cut a long story short, Ozzie and Karen decided to get married and asked me to be best man. I agreed and the frigid atmosphere between me and the wife went into a steep decline.

Most of this situation was because wife hated Karen taking attention away from her (Karen was way better looking) and the wife still wanted all of Ozzie's attention. Anyway, things got so bad that Ozzie and Karen fucked off back to Oz and I was going to fly over for the wedding.

But, things didn't work out that way. In Oz, Karen was miserable and eventually her and Ozzie split up and she came back to the UK where my current flat-mate, A, pursued her relentlessly and eventually the two of them were dating for a few months. During this time, I'd also split up with wife and I was living in a huge flat where I still live now. A was still in his own cottage at the end of the village and me and A were still mates. Then, as he does, A stopped calling Karen (he'd found someone else he fancied) and stopped answering her calls. So this brings us to Xmas two years ago.

I was still hurt and battered after the break-up of my marriage and was in my local with A when Karen turned up drunk. She made a bee-line for me and, as I described later, was doing everything except hump my leg in the pub in her eagerness to get me into bed. So, being a true friend to Ozzie and A, I did what any decent, God-Fearing man would have done and took her back to mine and screwed her brains out.

When I first got her back to mine I got a text message from A (bear in mind that he hadn't seen her for a couple of months) saying "I can't believe you just did that to me!" followed by another a couple of minutes later saying "send her down to mine now!". I think my reply was on the lines of "Fuck Off". And so that friendship went down the pan for a fair while.

Me and Karen got it together and from then on we were a couple. Karen's take on the whole situation was a bit weird. She'd always fancied me, even when she was with Ozzie and thought that the ideal outcome would have been for Ozzie and my wife to get together and for me and her to be together and the 4 of us probably could have been good friends. Dream on! She wished with all of her heart that she could have met me before I met my wife and non of the crap from the last few years would have happened and we'd all have lived together happily.

As things turned out in the end, Karen was a fucking nightmare to be with. At the end, the only reason we were together was the sex, which was rather good, but her behaviour was driving me mental. Most of the time she was an intelligent, compassionate, loving person but get a few drinks down her and she turned into a raving psycho-beast from hell. I still bear the scars.

Eventually, almost exactly a year ago, I cut my losses and dumped her. She went on a bender for a couple of months and ended up married to a fat drunk who promised he could get her into the music business!

And I'm now sharing a flat with A and we have an unbreakable rule - we don't touch each others women, even if we're not seeing them anymore.

You see? My life *is* like a soap opera only, if they put this sort of stuff on the telly, nobody would believe a word of it.

And, if I put down the latest shenanigans that I've been involved in, not only would it wreck somebody's marriage but I'd quite likely end up with a baseball bat around my head.

But at least it isn't boring....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:12, Reply)

Miss Claypole - Aged 9
We took aspirin and coke, fell in love, I discovered two things.. i)That my tongue oould fit in someone else's mouth and ii) My finger(s) could do more things than just play the piano. Things moved on.. She asked if I was capable... "Capable of what?" I replied.

She dumped me.

Lesson learnt.

The end.
(eurrrrrggggggghhhhhh Cunting /talk, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:12, Reply)

when i was 6 or so...
i was in love with some red haired girl called kirsty, we'd mess around in the playhouse (well, i knew we were supposed to do something, but i wasn't really sure what, took me another 12 years to work it out), then her folks moved away, and that was that (by the way, kirsty, if you're reading... erm, nothing really). Oh and i had a crush on debbie harry (i had a copy of "look in" which had a pretty nice poster of her in it but some hard lads nicked it from on the school bus)... oh and for some reason i fancied Barbara Bain from Space 1999. Then again how many 6 years olds make themselves their own "boomtown rats" badges? Then my family moved to France, and for some reason all the little girls of my age all wanted to kiss the new, confused, totally out of his depth language wise little english kid... which was pretty nice actually come to think of it... didn't last long though, unfortunately.
(Alaning, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:12, Reply)

I fell in lurve...

I fell in lurve


I fell in lu-UUUUUURVE


I fell in lurve with a Stainsby Girl.




What??! I *did*!
(TC, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:10, Reply)

can't remember her name,
but we played you show me yours I'll show you mine in the playground bushes. (aged about 7, I think...)
(teasus likes tea, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:05, Reply)

I fell in love ....
.... with a starship trooper.

bin dun?
(Bad Badger, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 12:05, Reply)

I fell in love with Madonna
(aged 9) whilst furiously pulling myself off over a poster of her from Smash Hits down in the garden shed circa 1984.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:57, Reply)

Fiona Harrison
In Primary 5 (age 10) on a school trip to Ardroy, she sat next to me on the bus and proceeded to pin me down and vigorously lick my face. It turns out that in the innocence of youth this was her interpretation of a "frenchie".

She had been eating Quarterback crisps (remember them?) and my face smelled of them all the way to our destination.
(Zapol Unlurked at, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:52, Reply)

I was in Year 6
and there was a sort of end of year leaving thing. Apparently everybody had to have a date. I didn't ask anyone, but being the 10 year old hunk I was, two girls asked me to it.

Unfortunatley I could only go with one (the thought didn't occur to me to go with both.)

After much consultation with my friends I decided to go with the intellgent black haired one, as opposed to the slightly dimmer but nice blonde. Of course, I really didn't want to have to tell the blonde no, simply because I didn't want to upset her. I did tell her though, and she was conspicuouslly absent from the do.

Me and the black haired girl were together two years after that, even though I rarely responded to her displays of affection (we only kissed once). Still, at least I was the first one with a girlfriend in secondary school, which helped my image.
( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:40, Reply)

Breasts
I blame my Mother, warm, soft and nutritious - Still head over heels about them now - Can't get enough!

Spose you have to..
(Suck it and Sea, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:31, Reply)

Awwww/Ewwww
I was 7 when i met this boy at a caravan park, we played football all week and he told me i was cute, didn't think much of it being 7 years old. One day, when we'd had enough of football, we went on the swings...... then another boy came along and sat next to him, they looked exactly the same as each other and then they decided to take their trousers off. I thought they wanted a wee wee, so i ran off back to my auntie to let them pee in peace.

I was 'told' to keep away from them for the rest of the holiday by my auntie. Turns out they were 14 year old identical twins and complete perverts.

Lucky escape!
(lehcar_woo, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:29, Reply)

John Craven
Newsround.

That is all.
(mehmeh 0% witty, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:27, Reply)

First love...
Princess, from Battle of the Planets


Thinking about it, I still quite fancy her now...
(Gomi No Sensei, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:27, Reply)

Mt first love was a girl called
Charlotte in primary school. We got married inthe playground one Monday Lunchtime, I had eaten Fish Rolls and Chips for lunch with Apple Salad and Mayo-Ketchup Past salad too.

It was a beautiful ceremony conducted by my best friend Danny.

All started well, we even held hands once.

But then it all turned sour on the Thursday. The silly woman beat me on the spelling test! And then the Maths Test! So I dumped her and the next week I married her best friend!

Those were the days!
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:25, Reply)

hmm.. i've never actually been in love
(is that wierd for someone who's mid-20s with a string of serious relationships? meh), but i thought i was with my first... first xmas back from uni, i was a geek and a virgin, hell - i'd barely kissed a girl. along comes hhanan, blonde, short, wide, however she seemed to take a fancy to me. winnarrr! things progressed, and we ended up going out for ~8 months in the end, during which time she manipulated me, winged, and treated me like sh*t. i accepted it all, because she was (in my eyes) my princess.. eventually, it all becomes too much, and we decide to go 'on a break'. next day i phone her (i was at uni, bloomin miles away) to tell her its over. she turns lesbian, and never looks back. not sure if i scared her off men, but as it happens, the next girl i shagged also hasnt shagged a man since (and she was a right goer. i appologise to the men of this planet for taking that one out of the pool), and the one after that was bi..

perhaps i should start appologising for my length?

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(5lab, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:17, Reply)

Bo 'n' Luke Dukes cousin
Daisy Duke,

with as much of a hard on as a five year old can muster.

brgrds
(uptonogood, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 11:11, Reply)

Aaahhh, young love........
My first serious interest in the opposite sex was when I was nine years old.

I was completely in awe of this terribly sophisticated, dashingly attractive and 'mature' older boy (a whole two years above me). The problem was that his friends quickly found out and endlessly took the piss. I was rather mystified that they kept on teasing me with the following refrains, "Katy's in love with Wigwam!" and "Wooo, wooyeah, everybody shake your wigwam!" (to the tune of a rather popular pop tune of the time). I thought to myself, "Why do they call him 'wigwam'?".

I was confounded by this nickname for quite sometime, until one of his friends took pity on me and explained. You see, he had a rather fetching and terribly fashionable hairstyle called 'curtains'. Anyone who remembers the late 80's/early 90's will know precisely what I mean: quite long, perfectly straight and perfectly parted down the middle (floppy hair). Apparently his friends didn't appreciate the aesthetic appeal of the 'do and dubbed it, for it's triangular appearance, 'the wigwam'.

I wasn't quite so enamoured of him after that. Oh the fickle, fickle nature of love.
(Supernatural Jelly Window, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:53, Reply)

I always had to be BA (despite being white, female and lacking bling)
We were four and we used to play the A Team by scrambling over logs dramatically. It might have lasted had our family not moved, who knows, we might have progressed onto Knight Rider.
(Ariaxen, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:48, Reply)

Depends on your defintion of 'Love'
If by 'Love' you mean 1st person to make your heart beat like a fucked clock then it has to be 'Rachael'. I was 10 so was she. I was an oik she was posh
I was descended from a long line of South East London Seamen and Italian Communists, she was from the landed gentry.
She was nice to me, I used to throw conkers at her. I havent seen her since 1989 when she went to posh school. Id still like to knock the back out of her even after 20 odd years

If by 'Love' you mean first girl who treated you like a dirty little boy, it has to be 'Gemma'. Single mum from round our way,I was 16 she was 20.
To use a Geordie phrase: 'She took me in as tatties and spat me oot as chips'
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:48, Reply)

Nowt amusing
But in Junior school, her name was Melanie.

And thats about all I can remember. I gave her my last rolo. She was not impressed with a crushed molten sweet.

But must have been where I got my penchent for blondes...
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:43, Reply)

Young and in love.
Cheers Legless. Your personal life is fast becoming my favourite soap opera!

So onto myself.

Young love was a strange one for me, consisting as it did of liking people and then thinking 'they'll never like me, I am wierd, people don't understand my words and everyone thinks I'm a boy' This at the age of 10, no less! But there was a boy called Alex. He was tall, blond, well built and had a cachet of mystery gained from coming from 'away' and joining junior school late.

But we got on very well. I would rollerskate round to his house, and his mum would give me the evil eye for skating in on her wooden floors (our house had carpets, 2 kids and a menagerie of animals- mum wasn't overly bothered about the state of the floor). He woudl come round to my house and we would play in the woods. Until one day when some little bitch in my class (who *just happened* to have breasts, and I basically taught to read) stole him from under my naive, sensitive and very hurt nose. Men! And indeed women!
(clapper, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:41, Reply)

First Love
Just for Clapper... The worst love/first love.

I suppose my first true love as opposed to teenage crushes was Anne. A convent school girl (upper 6th - I'm not a pervert!) who I met while on a pissup in Newcastle. She was pretty, bouncy, great fun and we fell head-over-heels in love. Ah. But I was but a teenager myself and, as teenage blokes do, treated her terribly as I didn't want to look "soft" in front of my mates.

We were together for almost two years. Her putting up with all the shit I put her through me, acting like a complete arsehole for almost our entire time together. And then we broke up.

All of the crowd I hung around with at the time were pretty much useless with women. They were terrified of talking to them or trying to trap off with the, especially strange girls - the ones they didn't know. But they knew Anne. She'd been part of our drinking crowd for two years and, now the we were split up, she was fair game. - Only I didn't see it that way.

So. Every Friday night for the next few months I'd head off over town, join my drinking crew and then watch in horror as Anne systematically screwed her way through my friends and I'd systematically beat the crap out of them the next night.

Teenage years the best of your life? I'd rather drag my testicles over broken glass than go through that again.

Still, at least I got off lucky. That slim, full-breasted teenager now weighs about 22 stone and her gravitational pull is so much that she's captured small planets that now orbit her bulk...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:40, Reply)

I Fell in love...
with my right hand during puberty, we are still together now.
(Minty Hit, Thu 20 Oct 2005, 10:39, Reply)