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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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On a (non)religious theme.....Militant Athiests
You know who you are. I see you marching proudly round the world and even B3TA, chest all puffed up, smug, self satisfied look on your face. All those scientific facts, all those Dawkins books on your shelves and you just can't help yourself can you. Far worse than those Jehovah types. At least I can hide behind the sofa when they knock but not you. Oh no. You are the enemy within....the friend or aquaintence ready to pounce and go on ad neuseum about all the "stupid" people, those billions who cling to outmoded faith, why can't they see the truth.

To be really honest I don't care. I just want to get on with my life and try my best to be happy and make others happy. I don't care what you believe as long as you don't keep trying to force your views down my throat or try to blow me up or try to get me to read something I don't want to, whether thats the latest WatchTower or the latest bandwagon book about how the fossil record proves it all.

So here's the deal. Unless I SPECIFICALLY ask you to explain your beliefs (or non-beliefs) you will keep your topics of conversation to sex, sport, people we both know, family and maybe, just maybe politics. As long as you don't ask me to read Mein Kampf or anything by Marx.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:22, 41 replies)
What about that Ashley Cole? I hear he likes the sex.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:25, closed)
Harpo, Chico, Zeppo or Groucho?

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:26, closed)
Definitly Zippo. His book about collectivisation of farms is outstanding.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:33, closed)
I for one would love to read "Das Kapital"
According to Brothers Marx.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:41, closed)
stuff was a much lighter read.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:53, closed)
I must not drink at lunch time and then post on B3TA
I must not drink at linch time and pist on B£TA!
I mist not drunk at linch tom and piss off B£T!
I mst nt.........
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:55, closed)

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:27, closed)

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:50, closed)

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:04, closed)

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:32, closed)

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:59, closed)
You can't move round here for atheists knocking on the door to say 'have you heard the bad news'.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:30, closed)
Why wouldn't you want to read Mein Kampf?
It's incredibly boring, admittedly, but if one is going to claim to be in any way anti-Nazi I'd say it's pretty essential reading.

Richard Marx is awful, however, though I will admit I do quite like The River.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:30, closed)
My degree in History and Politics....
meant I had to read it. But I won't do it again.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:36, closed)

degree in History and Politics right-wing bully-boy fascistic anti-semitic beliefs
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:46, closed)
I wish I was a right wing bully boy. My life would be far more interesting. If a little short of friends....or brain cells....or sense of humour! Hmmm, acutally I think I'll stick to my bleeding heart liberal tendencies instead.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:50, closed)
Do you mean
Hazard? I'm not sure he had a song called The River.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:54, closed)
That's the one - I'd forgotten you were such a fan.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:48, closed)
Oh God, here we go agai......
Sorry, not God, I don't believe in.......crap, okay, I've actually read Mein...........

Sex is fun. Er, Rugby is ...on TV.
How's the weather your way?

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 13:43, closed)
It kind of sounds like you care a lot.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:00, closed)
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:00, closed)
I'm an athiest
and most of my family are either tambourine waving happy clappy bible bashing Christians or Catholics so I'm the one who tends to have beliefs shoved down my throat. I just defend myself but although Dawkins' books are interesting but he is, I'm afraid, a smug nasally voiced twonk who would put the back up and invertebrate. So I quote David Attenborough (everyone likes him) & Stephen Fry.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:03, closed)
Nah you're wrong, Dawkins is awesome.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:05, closed)
and very irritating

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:06, closed)
Sorry your opinion is wrong.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:10, closed)

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:11, closed)
"sex, sport, people we both know, family and maybe, just maybe politics."
Your mum.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 14:10, closed)
Atheism is just another religion.
Only without god, belief system, ritual, hierarchy, culture, congregation, place of worship, scripture, narrative, symbolism, morality, lifestyle, tradition, festival, law or ethics.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:21, closed)
Sort of like saying
A chocolate sundae is just an ice cream only without vanilla, a topping of flavored sauce or syrup, whipped cream, and a maraschino cherry.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:46, closed)
Or, as I've often heard it put:
Atheism is a religion in the same way that 'bald' is a hair colour.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:57, closed)
Like that one
I may use it myself.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 21:02, closed)
I'll stop commenting and laughing at the religious idiots.
When they stop:
Trying to kill people in the name of their beliefs.
Stuffing their beliefs where they don't belong, such as Politics.
Ramming it down my throat by standing on street corners shouting about it.
Ramming it down other people's throats by threatening to kill them for drawing pictures of a medieval pædophilic nutter.
Wearing silly clothes.
Forcing their wives to dress as ghosts from Pac Man.
Molesting kids or helping their mates to cover up child molestation.
I could go on...
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:48, closed)
Most religious people don't do any of this.
I do hope you've taken the matter up with the Taleban.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 19:18, closed)
I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.
Religion is current affairs and it's thrust into everyone's face every day in one form or another. Are you suggesting it's OK to, for example, laugh about a certain manager's taste in coloured trousers but not that someone has chosen to wear a dress over his suit at work, for example?
Is it OK to talk about dieting not being the best way of loosing weight, but not OK to say how silly it is not to eat chocolate for 40 days because some bloke supposedly died a couple of thousand years ago?
Also, why is it not OK to moan that it's difficult for people to publish cartoon pictures of a dead pædophile, should they wish? Am I only allowed to moan about things I can actually change personally (which I take it was the point of the Taliban remark)?
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 19:54, closed)
Here, here.
Pretty much with you on everything there.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 20:46, closed)
Just to be clear: were you using "religious idiots" as a general term,
or were you applying it to only those who are interested in blowing you up?
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:36, closed)
I'm an atheist and I'm quite interested in blowing him up.

(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:43, closed)

People who talk about sport are far more boring and annoying than any athiest ranter. Rooney should do what now?

It's their dead eyes that get to me, and I have that shit forced into my brainhole by muppets far more often than rants about religion, which, lets be honest, hardly gets a look in in comparison.

In order to deflect any criticism from sports fans, I'd just like to add that I wholeheartedly support our local sports squadron.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 17:13, closed)

You get atheists knocking on your door to tell you what they think about reality? Or ranting on the high street? Or leaving their material lying around community centres? Or abusing special privileges to run schools to suit their own doctrinaire ideas? Or having legitimate theatre productions shut down?

I think not. "Shoving atheist beliefs down your throat" my fat, spotty arse.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 23:22, closed)
Keep up, grandad
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 7:43, closed)
Please correctly read the post...
My main point was that Militant Athiests USE STEALTH. This makes them hard to avoid. If some Jesus Freak is screaming at me in the street I can cross the road. If I'm having a pint and discussing whether Inception is cimematic genius or utter guff and suddenly I'm accosted by someone at the table about how fucking stupid Creationists are I take umbridge. EVERYONE knows Creationist had their brains swapped with Lime Jelly at the age of ten. Just don't keep banging on about it.
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:30, closed)

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