Best Graffiti
1) In toilet of Reading University library: a picture of Jeff Goldblum from The Fly staring intently at you from the back of the cubicle door with the following written underneith: 'Jeff Goldblum is watching you poo!'

2) Same place, different stall: next to bog roll with an arrow pointing at it: 'History of Arts degree; please take one'.

Class ;-)

Length? Girth? Well it took three flushes....
(Polish bstard, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:01, Reply)

Written on the inside side of a toilet cubicle at university...
I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess...
(Banjo-Fella, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:58, Reply)

A few weeks ago
At the train station the other day waiting to get to college I went to the toilet. There was graffiti on the wall but amongst the usual stuff someone had writen "i wank in ere on sundays." Underneath this someone had drawn an arrow to the writing and put their reply. "Your church service must be really good then."
(suckout, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:53, Reply)

There was a problem posting your message: You must enter a subject.
On a desk in a lecture theatre (I won't mention the lecturer's name cos I'm nice):

"xxxx sucks dog's cocks"

and underneath someone added:

"in the dead of night"
( Ysol ab abl blap, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:52, Reply)

White van
You know how people think it's funny to scrawl "Clean me" into the dirt on filthy white vans? Well, a couple of years ago I came across an extraordinarily muddy white van bearing the following legend:

IF YOU THINK THIS IS DIRTY YOU SHOULD SLEEP WITH THE DRIVER
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:51, Reply)

Bangor University...art gallery galore...
1)Deiniol Library, back Gents: "GAV JONES BUMS HIS DAD." Followed by an amusing pic of someone bent over being molested by another crudely-drawn-fellow with a massive cock. Charming. Suggests someone thinks more with their head than the head on their shoulders...

2)Can't remember where, but these words of wisdom have always remained with me: "Even a child can piss on the floor, so be a master and shit on the ceiling."

3)Emrys Evans, a dorm block's shared toilets on one floor, plastered on the beneath of a cubicle door on the inside: "BEWARE OF THE LIMBO-DANCING MIDGETS."
(FightingComet got Boost Power on, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:50, Reply)

Train loo
Favourite: on a train from London to Liverpool. The sticker on the loo cistern said "Please do not flush toilet in stations".

Penciled beneath it "Except in Manchester. Down with all Mancs "
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:49, Reply)

Might not have been me...
Inside the back of certain delivery wagons for a certain black and yellow* supermarket chain in a certain region of west yorkshire you can read the words;

"Dean is an absolute penis!!"

Mostly it's on the wall, sometimes it's on the ceiling, sometimes it's in more than one place. It's usually about four foot long and six inches in height. I can't imagine who wrote that in almost 30 wagons.

Thing is... Dean IS an absolute penis!!

*not for long, they spunked all my profit share on a new 'corporate identity' that i'dve done in a day for a couple hundred quid. Cunts!
( SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Thu 3 May 2007, 23:45, Reply)

Someone as pissed as us....
After a full weekend on cricket tour in Newcastle last year three of us heros in hangover mode took to one of the finest cafe's under/at the end of the tyne bridge. On perusing the menu much to our grand amusement some joker had rearranged the top 2 items on the list from Meat Pastie and Sausage Roll to the ever classic Meat Arse and Sausage Poll.
that was the funniest thing we had seen that 5 mintues ever,
(JayB is Singing his love down the well...., Thu 3 May 2007, 23:45, Reply)

Japanese Graffiti
I used to see my favourite graffiti every morning while I waited for the train to the Japanese high school where I taught English. Someone had attempted to create a sentence with an enthusiasm never displayed in the classroom, and had written, 'Fack you, ace holl'.

I really wanted to correct it, but knowing my luck, I would have been caught. I know it wasn't one of my boys though; I taught them to a much higher standard than that.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:45, Reply)

I can't
remember where I saw it, probably on the way in or out of London, but I've seen a graffiti tag from someone who goes by the name of 'anonymous' or 'anon.'
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 3 May 2007, 23:42, Reply)

Why do this every day?
The question and answer were painted on a wall along the Bristol Rd in Birmingham heading into town. Apparenly it's "I'm not planning to, choose your future". The first time I saw this, I was off my face for the nth day in a row on a bus in the middle of the day, so probably not the demographic they were aiming for.

Other jems seen around include THE VELVET UNDERPANTS in bold white letters on the back of Cousins in Tyseley, visible to rail passengers approaching Birmingham from the airport and accompanied by a helpful diagram of said underpants barely containing their owner's testicles. They were a local band and after being displayed for many years, they were sadly painted over very recently.

For people travelling from Birmingham to Stratford upon Avon, look out for the sign at Henley in Arden train station, where someone has added a 'b' and 'L' to the start of the last two words. Hats off.

Yes it was lengthy, but I do feel better now.
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:40, Reply)

Also not quite grafitti
Much like rachelswipe's text message board, this was a Bluetoothable display board in a bar in Manchester. Except that this one displayed pictures.

Sadly, downloading goatse, saving the image and then 'toothing it across to the display was too much for my phone at the time, and no-one volunteered to get their cock out for a photo, but we did send a couple of less-than-appropriate pictures of hand gestures.

These surely must be one of the dumbest devices ever to put in a bar. Especially now that my current phone will happily save a picture from the internet for later use...

Length? Not photographed this time, but maybe one day...
( le brian, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:37, Reply)

Stealth graffiti
While on crapper, unroll about ten feet of bogroll.

Write "Help I am a prisoner in a bogroll factory" on the exposed sheet.

Roll it back again.
(YojimboUK, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:35, Reply)

The Jug of Ale in Moseley, Birmingham.
The urinal proclaimed that Dave was "an Ass-Banging Shit Midget."
(geekboy Hillbilly., Thu 3 May 2007, 23:31, Reply)

Most utterly unexpected thing I ever saw in the gents
huge writing over the door proclaiming:

ωØØt!!! Lvl 60 NE drood FTW!!11!

World of Warcraft graffiti written in l33t. Astounding.

Also, on the hand dryer in the toilets of a nearby club someone has scrawled: www.goatse.cx
(Icefox2k, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:30, Reply)

liberation my arse
posted in the ladies loo of an un-named big retail company in Shrewsbury

"We are the Peoles front. We demand 1hour lunches"

and under that

"and spelling lessons"
(mcspannered yes m'lord, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:24, Reply)

Legoland
Seen while pulling out of the train station: Underneath the sign announcing that this particular station is 'Milton Keynes' someone had added 'Legoland Shithole'.

Yes, it is.
(Thomas_The_Spankengine, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:21, Reply)

More toilet scribbles...
sitting down on the toilet, doing the business as you tend to do there. a wee scribble written down near the floor so you have to bend right over to read it...

"you are now shitting at 90 degree's"

Beautiful
(442, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:21, Reply)

M KHAN IS BENT



_{(sorry, that's three post very quickly, i feel like apeloverage)}
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:20, Reply)

On the train line between Newcastle and London,
near Doncaster is a bridge with one of my favorite things in the world:

It says, in proper paintbrush writing,

"harold the kid"
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:18, Reply)

not quite graffiti
but those message boards they have in cheesy clubs where you text something and it appears on the screen.

i was at a hen do at strawberry moons recently (i know, i know) and we were all having fun sending the hen messages. the next thing, a huge message pops up in bright red capitals.

J E S S I C A S T I N K S O F F I S H

poor girl, whoever she was. and poor every other jessica in the club who must have been paranoid as hell after that...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:13, Reply)

ooo found another


It says - 'Big Monkey Gonads' - obviously.

It was written on the statue of Archimedes at UMIST in Manchester.
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:12, Reply)

a sign in a pub toilet:
.
Please do not put cigarettes in the urinal.

Biro:

As it makes them soggy and hard to light.
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:12, Reply)

Probably bindun before
On the journey back from my girlfriend's uni (I think I was on the M40?) There is a fence in a field next to the motorway with "WHY DO I STILL DO THIS EVERY MORNING?" written on it.
(SpookTheHamster, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:11, Reply)

Lewis Daly
In the science library toilet I was amused to see a range of graffiti dedicated to an unknown 'Lewis Daly'...gems such as "Lewis Daly fucked your mum" or the more intellectual "Lewis Daly has had more pricks than a second hand dartboard." However, the piece de resistance kept me chuckling for hours; "Lewis Daly hopes lost children are never found."
Photoevidence: snipurl.com/1j94y
(underwhelmed, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:09, Reply)

my car
when i was a letting agent, i had a car with the registration I LET.

parked it outside a pikey block in salford.

came back. car had been altered with black permanent marker pen...

TOILET.

great. smashing. super.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:08, Reply)

Island!


Good to see some education gets through...
"Nar man, you iz spellin' it wrong"
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:08, Reply)

harvard brainy trays
visiting clever boyf at harvard, I noticed that the trays in the graduates' cafeteria had various messages scrawled into the bottom right hand corner - including "tray of destiny", "tray of death" - and my personal favourite, "tray of zoltan"...

The messages became quite a popular conversation topic - betting on who would get which tray, what effect selecting the tray of destiny would actually have on the rest of your day etc - and their appearance always brightened up the meal.

Length? About 12in by 8in, green and plastic - enough for a large bowl of pasta, a brownie and a can of coke.
*relurks*
(griffster, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:07, Reply)

Road name
A road not far from me is called Cockering Road....except every couple of months - after the council has been out to repaint it, it gets changed back to Cock Ring Road.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 3 May 2007, 23:06, Reply)