Wall in N'orn Iron...
... during "the troubles":

"NO POPE HERE!"

written underneath;

"lucky pope!"
(Roger Darce sold his birthright for a mess of pottage, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:56, Reply)

Simple and to-the-point
In the Tube a couple years ago there were all these posters for a George Michael album. They showed him sitting on a couch looking rather contemplative.

So of course, someone made a speech bubble that read, "I AM A BIG NONCE."

As you do.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:54, Reply)

Witty Graffiti
I fucking hate all these cock faced toerags who write their little 'tags' over absolutely everything, most annoyingly over bus time tables so you cant read them, they look shit and makes what they have written on look shit! But i really can appreciate decent graffiti work ones that took time and effort and actually look good, and then there are the funny ones, my favourite being, 'Help your local police, Kill a Thief!' And on some council building a warning saying, Bill posters will be prosecuted. Someone hed written underneath, 'Bill posters is innocent'
(lankynyack, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:49, Reply)

Bombs away
Here at the marvellous University of Bath, for a good long while one of the cubicles in the toilets of the library on the ground floor read:

"Not to put you off, but three other people are dropping a shit on your head right now."

Came back from my year abroad and the mean sods had painted. We also had the ridiculous rivalry between degree programmes, naming and shaming of who on campus had crabs, and occasional notes in other languages. All gone.

Sob.

No apologies, ever.
(rob_187 Ooh, Faye Dunaway!, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:44, Reply)

Cambridge Divinity Faculty, Men's toilets
Written by the light switch;

"To be a light to lighten the genitals"
( Shrub Rocketeer is a twisted emotional husk, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:40, Reply)

says it all
if you are london facing from ilford station on the right side is a cemetary, but you see on your left the back wall of a block of garages on which are ( or were if they`ve gone in the last 2 years ) the fading letters " vote NATINAL FRONT" which gave been there since mid 70`s



oh....should read the old ones first really...
(bblgoose, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:22, Reply)

says it all
if you are london facing from ilford station on the right side is a cemetary, but you see on your left the back wall of a block of garages on which are ( or were if they`ve gone in the last 2 years ) the fading letters " vote NATINAL FRONT" which gave been there since mid 70`s
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:20, Reply)

my favourite?
banksy's stuff, walking around liverpool seeing it here and there, quite nice really
( schizophrenic_sheep, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:19, Reply)

Simple Yet Effective...
On a wall just near Nambuca on Holloway Road, someone has sprayed

with the full stop and capital F. This made me laugh for a good half hour, mainly at the fact that it appears to contain no agression - just a suggestion, if you're out of ideas...
(Pincess last thought about the big Swiss science tube on, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:14, Reply)

It's as if 'they' knew!
I was walking along New Oxford Street on Friday and saw this (clickable for biggar):


Where have all the real
         flowers
                 gone

Philosophical Graffiti, you can't beat it :)

(sorted the silly file sizes, sorry)
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:11, Reply)

On a slanted wall near a tunnel exit -
somebody painted in big white letters just one word: NO.
a concise summary of the official negativism doctrine?
(xxxxxxxx xxxx, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:09, Reply)

Jesus saves 2
Or the old classic 'JESUS SAVES'....


.....followed with a scrawl of 'But Potius Pilot scores on the rebound'. (You can really add any biblical character, should you wish)

Classic pisstaking of the fiction novel classic 'The Bible'. Available from all good stockists, or just pinch it out of that drawer in a hotel room.
(shutyoureyesandyoullburstintoflames, Sun 6 May 2007, 15:05, Reply)

new spin on an old favourite
One of my favourites was on the back of a white van. someone had written "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van" in the dirt. Someone else had then written underneath "she is".
(bacon roll, Sun 6 May 2007, 14:48, Reply)

Not really grafetti, but...
... while at school, boyf and a mate of his got some weedkiller, and wrote slogans over the grass outside the headmaster's office with the weedkiller. Took weeks to grow back, and the grass informed every visitor to the school that one of the physics teachers was a 'banker'
(fuzzibear, Sun 6 May 2007, 14:43, Reply)

One on a shithouse door that we prob haven't had so far...
...'SUCK ME CHUNKS'.

Not overly witty, I admit, but still had me giggling in class all that afternoon and became a favourite rebuttal for awhile :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Sun 6 May 2007, 14:29, Reply)

my all time top 3
from my home town of Chichester (not exactly graffiti central)

3. The guy who'd painted a huge white blob over someone's tag and then wrote 'Ha ha I took your space' on it.

2. On a wall for many years - 'Life's like a box of chocolates, it's full of shit'

1. My favourite, for the sheer utter random pointlessness of it - 'Fuck the Pope'. Disturbed sex fantasy or useless directionless teenage rage? We will never know (the bench it was on has since been removed)

And anyone who's ever been on the Portsmouth-Brighton train line must have seen the bunker near Arundel with the large penguin and 'why are we here?' sprayed on it. It's a very good cartoon penguin too...
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Sun 6 May 2007, 14:00, Reply)

It's not great, but it was at the most English of places, Lord's, Home of Cricket.
In a toilet cubicle someone had written proudly "Nottinghamshire County Cricket Club"
But some dastardly fiend had added underneath
"sucks".
Oh the japes.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 6 May 2007, 14:00, Reply)

Anyone Discovering a Fire Should....
...make some toast!

An addition to a fire notice in the Maths classroom at my old school. Made me laugh...
( flapdoodle toast FTW!, Sun 6 May 2007, 13:53, Reply)

Another School One
This time a poem, which I don't believe anyone has posted here yet. I may even be original.

On the german room desk, was written:

Oral Sex is nicer
All Expenses Paid
I do it in the daylight
And in the evening shade

I didn't understand this witty verse until the second year. Then I laughed, muchly.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sun 6 May 2007, 13:28, Reply)

Krunk
This is not nearly as witty as many of things related here, but deserves recognition for the sheer persistence of it.

In our very last week of school, ever, a friend of mine went on what can only be described as a rampage.

In blue, permanent marker, he wrote 'krunk' in 41 different places around the school. Some big, some small, most of them very well hidden. I think he likes to think of it as his own way of leaving a mark on the school, which after all our headmistress actively encourages.

My brother, who still attends the school, tells me that at the last count, 19 still remain. This makes me laugh far more than it really should.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sun 6 May 2007, 13:17, Reply)

On a toilet in Yerucham, a development town in Israel
Of all places! Written in beautiful curly English:

"Some come here to sit and think
Others come here to shit and stink
I come here to scratch my balls
And read the writing on the walls"
(Adamish Time of death, Sun 6 May 2007, 12:57, Reply)

M Khan Is Bent
Have we had that one yet?

Anyway, my favourite was on the way into Selby rail station from Leeds, under the WELCOME TO SELBY sign someone had added 'MINDLESS BASTARD CENTRE OF THE NORTH'.

It's funny cos it's true.
(simon shitting mason, Sun 6 May 2007, 12:45, Reply)

Road graffiti
3 years ago someone painted a large zebra crossing on both lanes of the motorway outside town. Made the papers, with comments like "irresponsible, what if the kids try to use it".
( RedWine President of the S.C.U.M., Sun 6 May 2007, 12:37, Reply)

Best one I've ever seen
on the inside page of a Bible;
"All the best, Love God"

Rubbed into a dirty van;
"Please overtake quietly, Immigrants sleeping"
( Drunken Vet, Sun 6 May 2007, 11:57, Reply)

Saviour account
On the A484 near Carmarthen in West Wales, there is a large well-painted rock on a roadside quarry with the words

JESUS SAVES

of course, every so often, someone comes along and paints

AT NATWEST

beneath it. Predictable genius.
(mochyn, Sun 6 May 2007, 11:42, Reply)

Photographed by my missus in Bradford


moblog.co.uk/view.php?id=184615
(Baj does Minecraft - http://www.youtube.com/w92baj, Sun 6 May 2007, 11:42, Reply)

Princess Di's corpse wasn't even cold
and some wag had written in huge letters on the end of my block "DEAD AS A DODI"

still cracks me up
( jocko doesn't want a signature, Sun 6 May 2007, 11:30, Reply)

Jordans
There's a place in Bucks called Jordans that's full of uber-posh and old people. Driving past the sign last month, I was so pleased to see someone had drawn a massive pair of tits under it. Simple, not strictly graffiti but to the point.

Gets me everytime.
(Monkey Festerer, Sun 6 May 2007, 10:51, Reply)

Right, this is definitely my last one
On the back of a toilet door at work:

"NO SMOKING"

To which has been added

"then your not rubbing hard enough"
(rogerzilla, Sun 6 May 2007, 10:48, Reply)

The road sign coming into Alston, Cumbria from Hartside
Has had "Please drive slowly" changed to

"Please d i e slowly".

And someone has laboriously changed the village sign for Faulkland, near Bath, to "F U KLAND".
(rogerzilla, Sun 6 May 2007, 10:41, Reply)