...
When I take a bath I like to piss and wank into the water, and continue to wash myself in it.
(King In Crimson, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 21:03, Reply)

gunk
You know the stuff they use to fix free cd's to the front of a magazine? A clear plastic-like substance? Looks like snot?

I love smearing that on the door handles to new cars or flicking it at the windshields of oncoming traffic in the hope of the recipient having a bogeyphobic panic.
(DrTugnut, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:45, Reply)

Googling
Googling the names of girls from childhood. It's especially nice doing it on the images search with the filters and kid-blockers turned off. No surprises yet, but I haven't gotten through the entire year book yet!

Google on...
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:43, Reply)

Drinking out of the bottle/carton
I usually tell myself "this way the drinks won't run out so fast, as I only take a sip."
Of course, I end up constantly swinging by the fridge.
(Caustic Armadillo consists at least 30% out of custard, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:42, Reply)

Things I like to smell:
Marker pens
Binding glue of hardback books
My finger when it's been in my bellybutton.
( SqueakyG, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:42, Reply)

.
I like to dance to M People wearing nothing but my socks!
mwah!
(Barry Big Fist, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:42, Reply)

going
to house parties and smashing the hosts house up/stealing things that i break on the way home
(fwack bang on it, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:34, Reply)

going
to france and swearing at every french person i come into contact with things like yes i would like a beer please you fucking cunt or big mac u fucking fat bitch. also going into chatrooms for african americans and trying to recruit members for the kkk
(fwack bang on it, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:28, Reply)

Mostly Bodily Related
All you who like wiggling fingers in belly buttons - with you there...

Cleaning my ears with the arms of my specs.

The smell of my own farts - people who know me will know that they are evil.

Driving too fast.

Tickling Mrs Og until she is so wound up she starts to batter me round the head - ahhhh S&M tastic.
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:25, Reply)

I work in a pharmacy,
and sometimes I like to slip cyanide tablets into patients' pill trays.
Thankfully, the jury didn't see it as a "guilty" pleasure.
( Malchick, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:18, Reply)

eating large spoonfulls
of dijon mustard and marmite (together). mmmmmmmm.....
(Hazhar, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:16, Reply)

wiggling my finger around in my belly button
then disgusting myself by sniffing it aftwards
( FlanFlinger 🥧, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:14, Reply)

shorts
pondering the varied odours of rugby kit from clean and dry to slightly damp and smelling of digestives
(1st team orc, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:13, Reply)

Telling groups of kids at the cinema
that the film they're going to watch is rubbish and not worth the money just so they're not going to be in the same screen as me, chatting away during the film. Works like a charm unless its a 'must-see' movie!
(McChaff, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 20:10, Reply)

when i'm driving on my own
I like to shout abuse and very rude words at other road users (other drivers, cyclists, pedestrians i'm not fussy). The victims of my abuse are probably unaware, but it makes me feel better
(tomatosoup, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:57, Reply)

HaHa Rushy
I was biting the hard skin arround my nails just as i read that!
(anon., Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:29, Reply)

At the edge of your fingernails
Theres a little bit of hard skin that i like chewing off. Im doing it right now. Bliss.
(Rushy, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:25, Reply)

Elevator Rides
Try this one:
I used to work in the World Trade Center in NYC on the 79th floor. It was a LONG elevator ride and it was always packed full of people. This will work in any elevator though:

So I would hum the tune to "Its a Small World Afterall" or whistle it on the way up or down. It was interesting to see peoples reactions because you KNOW when they got to their desks the last song they heard was that...and it drove people nuts.

You could hear people later in the day humming it. I swear it's true!

I felt like an evil genius knowing I had planted a song in their head and the ENTIRE day they would be hearing it, sung by 5 and 6 year olds as they do in DisneyWorld.

Sic Semper Tyrannis!

Sean
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:24, Reply)

IQ tests
I don't know if I'd say it's a guilty pleasure really...
But I do get an odd feeling of satisfaction every time I take a test and get the score, even if I know that I've always wound up in the "gifted" category (130-144).

Oh, and making fun of people when they don't understand that I'm doing it. that's great!
( The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:24, Reply)

undertaking
when driving on the motorway in relatively heavy traffic and some idiot tries to undertake to get one car length closer to their destination I love boxing them in
I accelerate to close the gap with the car in front then wait until they catch up with the car in front of them. I then slow down until the car behind has closed up the gap behind me and then continue at normal speed knowing that they will now be boxed in for ages.

mwahaha
(Kakistocrat, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:21, Reply)

Well, a few I can think of
Trimming my pubic hair using the scissors my mum uses to cut my dad's hair.

Listening to the worst songs known to man - I actually spent money on The Ultimate Cheese Party. I also have a large collection of shite mp3s, featuring such classics as 5 versions of the birdie song, YMCA, Mmm Bop and that Mr Blobby song.

Setting up my video camera and making dirty videos of myself. And then afterwards wondering why exactly I did that and promptly deleting them.

Going onto an AIM chatroom, impersonating a woman, finding some poor sod willing to engage in cybersex, and then seeing just how utterly ridiculous I can get away with being before they cotton on.

Using my PDA to find someone wandering around with Bluetooth switched on on their phone, then using it to send them amusing and entirely anonymous messages. And then enjoying the knowledge that they'll get slightly worried that someone's stalking them....

Oh, and confusing people by talking in a language they don't understand (usually German) and either insulting them or coming out with complete nonsense. But I don't feel guilty about that.

Actually, to be honest, I don't feel guilty about any of those. I also don't feel guilty about not apologising for length.
(The Worminator I have discovered that Quavers are nice, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:18, Reply)

I *love*
Pushing all the buttons in the lift. A favourite place to do this is the UGC cinema in glasgow, as its the tallest in the world or some bollocks like that. The best is when you leave just as someone is coming in and they know it was you. Chumps...
(Rushy, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:15, Reply)

bit weird but
Whenever I go home to my parents, I raid the cupboards for for the table water craker/buscuit things.....And eat them raw.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:12, Reply)

when there are a couple of people
sat in the jacuzzi with me (yes its a gym) Let off a massive fart, as long as you keep a straight face you cant get caught because the water is already bubbling away.
( Gaz, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:07, Reply)

More feet
I don't know if anyone else gets this, but every now and then the dead skin on my feet goes all peely so I end up with feet looking like something out of Dawn of the Dead. Still, there is nothing more satisfying than peeling off a huge hunk of skin in one go! I sometimes keep the bigger bits for days to admire them.

Oh yeah, and when the house is empty I like walking around completely starkers too!
(Mr Slippyfist, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 19:07, Reply)

guilty pleasures
I quite like dancing like Carlton from 'the fresh prince of belair' to my best of northern soul album. Always makes me feel sunny inside
(darkmavis86, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 18:58, Reply)

I just can't help it!
I bite my nails.

Toe nails that is.
(Mr Slippyfist, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 18:57, Reply)

Drinking coffee
First thing in the morning, making a really really syrup-like strong brew, mentalling out, actually DOING some revision (scary scary) and burning out for an afternoon game.

Then saying "No dear, its just a tension headache." the next day.
( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Thu 7 Apr 2005, 18:47, Reply)

Mine seem to be pretty common on here
I'm always naked around the flat when I can get away with it.

And usually dancing like a complete loon, 60s style, Butterfly dance, Elton John stomping, line dancing style, you name it. For the record, I'm a heavy, clumsy, beardy 30something...

Buying stationery, and then putting it in a pile with all the other stationery, but never using it (latest bargain, 30 coloured brush pens from Tesco - 69p!)

Scratching various parts of my body, then having a good sniff. Ears, armpits, crotch, arse, all are fair game.

Checking for lymph around my piercings and smelling the result.

Singing, even though I can't.

Pissing in the shower, bathroom sink, kitchen sink, even if the toilet's empty.

Poking around deep inside both of my ears with Q-tips at the same time. It's so much fun that my face completely slackens and I look like a mong.

Eating food from other people's houses when they're not about.

And... I think that'll do for now...
(ReLiC, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 18:44, Reply)

wanking at work
nothing wrong with it...its 6:37pm no-one here time for a pull methinks.
(dukefukem, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 18:41, Reply)