One of my friends went to our friend Lee's house. Whilst Lee was on the phone my friend uncovered one of Lee's sisters teddies with a hole in the bum.
Bless him, taking advantage of teddies because he cant get any.
(Legs 11 last got some loving on, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:37, Reply)

Evil
Recently moved into a new house which is full of really cool stuff. Like a 19th century brass firemans helmet, a magazine of live bullets (for a luger according to our resident firearms expert) and a 9 foot whale bone.

My personal favourite find is the 9" knife with a bone handle and 'I want some work' engraved on the blade. It's the kind of knife that would look perfect in the hands of some sort of evil slasher movie bad guy.
(ShadowTail, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:28, Reply)

Found in my attic
a very nice aluminium baseball bat which has been waved at the local chavs to keep them in line from time to time.

I left some treasure for the utter twat who shouted at my little girl and made her cry (she's only 22 months old so you know he's a wanker) just because she was playing near the area he was searching with his metal detector. Put the windshield up, dug a small hole, curled out a ripe one and chucked a handfull of small change in with it. Moved on up the beach to watch this arsehole work his way down to the spot. His detector beeped and he dug for the booty. His scream kept me smiling for days.
(boltneck sacrificed a smurf to Cthulhu on, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:21, Reply)

Legs
Walking from Greenford to the local swimming pool as a kid (can't remember what it was called), my sister and I spied a pair of prone, naked female legs protuding from a bush at the side of the alley. Much 'You go' 'no you go'-ing later, turns out they were only from a mannequin. Shat us right up though. Don't know where the top half went... could have taken it home and drilled the mouth out.
(kidcamel is due to call your mum at, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:13, Reply)

£5,000
I was visiting Ikea about 6 years ago with my then girfriend.

My foot nudged something on the floor and I bent down to pick it up.

Fuck me. It was a thick roll of £50s with a lacky band round it. I reckoned it must be about five grand.

My girlfriend, to her enternal credit and my long regret, immediately grabbed it from my hand and ran to an Ikea assitant to hand it in.

I've always wondered if they simply pocketed it.
( rob, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:09, Reply)

Cleaning the mansion...
where I grew up (national trust) I was helping my dad clean some panelling way above the Saloon and we found a small box. In it was a note in olde English and some coins. Basically the note said that every cleaner who cleaned this part of the house deposited a coin in the box. Sort a tradition. There were coins in there from the very beginning of the houses history. We put an old 10p in and one of the new 5ps and put it back for the next chap.
(I've done it so many times it's boring now..., Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:04, Reply)

Blue vitriol
Breaking into barns in the middle of the night, we found a five gallon bucket of some blue crystaline powder, which turned out to be blue vitriol (copper sulfate), which is used as a fungicide. AND REALLY SUPER TOXIC!!!

We dissolved the powder and grew some of the most amazing deep blue crystals. Could have died in the process, and my dad got some in his eye once (could have blinded him), but man, you should have seen those crytals! Big as your thumb and the truest blue you have ever seen!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:04, Reply)

I leave work tomorrow
well I get made redundant...so in true time honoured tradition I've been finding valuable treasure...you may call it theft but to the morally deprived of us it becomes redistribution of wealth....anyway the current list includes
4 canteen chairs
1,000 or so work branded pens
Other assorted pens and stationery
Folders
Flipcharts
Halogen Lights
200 instant plastic coffee cup things
£110
A box of Kelloggs Frosted Wheats

I'll miss the place so much I want to bring as much home with me as I can...
(littleben hasn't anything funny to put here, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 17:01, Reply)

After moving house in 2001:
In our loft we found £2000 worth of stamp collection, which was rather nice! In with the stamps were also lots of letters, telegrams and postcards, from both wars, and from all over the world. We haven't sold those and are trying to find the original owners.
Also, when removing part of under the stairs, we found some writing, a kind of 'I woz 'ere', by the original fitters, from about 1929. Not exactly treasure, but an interesting thing to find.
Oh, and also, we buried a time capsule in our garden, full of treasure for future owners of our house. Not telling what's in it though!
( CaroWallis, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:55, Reply)

"Lots of people lose money"
My grandparents found a $50 bill in a parking lot. They put an ad in the paper saying to call, tell them where the caller lost it, and it was theirs.

"Wow," my naive gran, who was incapable of sarchasm, commented, "lots of people lose money. We've gotten tons of calls."

I come from good stock.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:54, Reply)

Sooky? - yes.
It took me far too long to decide to be become a parent.
That such a beautiful daughter could have originated from my nether region is bleeding amazing.

Treasure indeed my friends.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:45, Reply)

Old BBC stuff
Whilst cleaning out the loft one day, we got excited when we found a pile of junk under an old tarpaulin. Thinking we'd found treasure, or some dirty mags, we realised it was only an old pile of BBC stuff - films of old TV shows in rusty cans. Sent them on their way in a large skip.
(Wrecked Tums, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:42, Reply)

Mate of mine
bought a suspicously-cheap house in east Belfast some years ago, which still had a lot of the furniture and fittings intact - you know, as if someone had had to leave in a really serious hurry. While they were taking down the blinds on the liiving room window, there was a funny rattling noise and several hundred e's fell out... Sadly his tedious wife made him flush them down the bog.

Oh - and some friends at uni had a mysterious locked door in their house, big heavy thing like something out of a submarine with a padlock on the door. Their landlord fucked them over by emigrating one week into term so they forced the lock to see what was in there - answer, a room papered in old motorbike magazines and copies of the Sun, a bare mattress propped up against the wall, a nice selection of used syringes, a bare lightbulb (on!)... and an open skylight, suggesting that someone had been using it as a regular crash pad, and recently, certainly while they’d been living there.

edit - and I once found an ancient Sony open-reel video recorder while naughtily wandering about an abandoned university building in Belfast.

edit again - aaaaand, walking home from a mate's, found a cardboard box at the side of the road containing all 9 volumes of the Harmsworth Self Educator, a fuck-off huge compendium of everything the well-educated person of 1904 needed to know, plus a single-volume encyclopedia circa 1935 (with a very carefully worded entry on Hitler).
(Wong Fei-Hung - now with added flickr.com (see profile), Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:42, Reply)

some might call it treasure...
...certainly not i! many, many years ago i was knocking about at a mates house. as per usual we were bored so we decided to have a rumage through the loft. this lads parents were the strictest of the strict - straight laced doesn't even come close. so imagine my total shock and surprise when we found the largest black dildo i have ever seen! this thing could have injured a horse! i'm not kidding, it nearly didn't fit through the loft hatch! i just sort of went 'yarg!!' and flung it down to my waiting mate, nearly killing my little brother.
i'd apologise for the length and girth, but you should have seen this thing!
lh
(localhost, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:42, Reply)

Whilst clearing out the loft
I stumbled across a box with my baby teeth in them and, for some reason it also contained mouldy chilli peppers =/

Also whilst up there I found my Dad's old porno collection, circa 1980's, which mysteriously disappeared a few days afterwards. I dont know if my Dad managed to get rid of it before my Mom found it, but he did act a bit strange for a week afterwards.
(EvilFred is investing in scuba gear., Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:41, Reply)

Previous Tenant
Move into flat a couple of years ago - tenant leaves wardrobe - have a little shufty and find a nice A2 carboard stiffened envelope - hurrah thinks i - could be interesting - a rare film poster perchance.

Hurriedly opens envelope - and find to horro - previous tenant in "European Style" photos - he was an ugly fucker too!

Next flat - move in and check out cupboard under stairs - at FAR FAR end was another envelope - somewhat thicker than the one found in the previous flat - thinks "fuck me not more seedy shite"
Turns out it was a large pile of bills - including court summonses - still been there two months now and no bailiffs knocking on the door

Length? I find Ladies prefer the girth - buckets prefer the length
(woo_yay_houpla loves teh sexy tiem, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:40, Reply)

Chemical Ali.
My saturday job used to be as a gardener at a nearby, and very posh, country house on the river. One day I was clearing reeds near the river and I found an old oil-like barrel hidden amongst them all, probably from the recent flooding. I kicked the barrel over to the house looking for legible markings but I didn't know if I should just throw it in the rubbish? So my boss rang the local health-and-safety quoting a serial number from the barrel - they said they weren't sure and would send someone to take a look.

Next thing I know a fire-engine appears roaring down the dusty single lane track leading to the house. Then another. Then the county chemical accident unit turns up and a fire-man jumps out in full breathing apparatus. Then another fire engine turns up.

I took a step or two away from the barrel.

Turns out it was just petrol.

They then had to reverse onto the lawn to turn around, and fucking ruined it.
(wifeb3ta, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:37, Reply)

gold? yes. treasure? ehh..
A friend of mine used to have a house and abandoned barn dating back to when slavery was pretty much normal in the southern US. She and I and some people from my class climbed up to the loft for the first time one day, and what we discovered was a little odd. Six or seven huge glass jugs, which were filled with a cloudy yellow something. We later found out it from the landlord that it was indeed piss. He had no idea where it came from or how long it was there. Treasure indeed.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:36, Reply)

Clearing out my nan's attic, we found a cocking massive bag of homegrown.
It was literally the size of a football, and obviously pretty ancient because there was no smell at all, and the leaves were all so brittle and yellow that they just crumbled to dust when we tried to roll them.

So we made it into tea, and drank that instead. About forty minutes later, we'd all thrown up all over her house (it didn't matter that much - she was dead, and new people were moving in) and Ollie had gone blind in his left eye.

We still talk about whether or not it was actually my nan's stash, and wonder if she'd secretly had a big hydroponics setup in her loft at some point. Cheeky old dear.
( grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:35, Reply)

Treasure on the beach
A few years ago I spent a few summers working for an outdoor pursuits centre. One activity we used to do with the kids was beach-combing, looking for interesting stuff at the high-tide mark.

Sadly we had to stop this when one of the groups of children turned up a rather bloated dead body...
(Bids How much is that window in the doggy?, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:34, Reply)

Sicilians Love the Hoff
When I was younger I was staying in a rented villa in the north of Sicily. One day I was rummaging around in the attic and I stumbled upon a large cardboard box full of unlabeled videos.
Thinking to my self "Huzzah, the greatest trove of nasty Mediterranean smut imaginable"
This was not to be the case.
It was in fact a large collection of assorted David Hasslehoff videos. Concerts, TV Interviews etc etc.
Not best pleased I can tell you.
(A bit Manchester, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:32, Reply)

Humorous humerus?
I recently demolished a large boat storage shed in my backyard (the previous owner runs a reef sportfishing business.)
After cutting through the thick concrete slab I found a wooden box about a metre and half sqaure and opened it to find...bones.

Turned out to be a pet dog, but it sure got my copper mate who was helping me all excited for a minute.

Anyway, we laid down some pavers over the area a few weeks later and have buried an arm from a CPR mannikin underneath.
Just for fun.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:31, Reply)

What lies beneath
New Years eve about 10 years ago I got lucky and was taken home by a young lady who was house sitting her friend's parent's house. We ended up in the parent's bedroom. Next morning we started looking through the bedside drawers, as you do, and found a little pistol. Click click click nothing happened so we thought it was a toy/fake/cigarette lighter,'till we noticed a clip of very real-looking bullets. Thank f&*% there wasn't one left in the chamber, one of us could have blown our heads off.

Further investigation in the wardrobes revealed French Maid's outfits, bondage gear, blow-up dolls, a set of vibrators with various detachable attachments, pornography etc. We also found some "home videos", but sadly couldn't get the VCR to work
(MBH, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:28, Reply)

i go to the woods opposite my house all the time and find stuff.
I usually make "bases" out of big logs and digging large holes. The last one was a 4ft deep hole, the size of two large, english people-carriers placed side-by-side. The walls were about 4ft high too, so there was lots of space to walk about.


Any way, the area has many dumping grounds, secret paths and unknown crimes scenes; so here are a few of the discoveries me and my friends have made there:

-pile of burnt clothes. Small pit had been dug out and a pair of jeans, strange wool jacket and what looked like a scarf were semi-burnt and left in a pile. I wasnt sure whether to report it to the police or not - i mean how many un-crime realted reasons can you think of?!

- about 20, lime-green-painted wooden doors. barely rotted so they hadnt been there long i dont think (This wasn't because of the paint though)

-3/4 wheelbarrows over the past 3 years ive been going. 2 were too rusted to use

-10 tractor wheels and countless numbers of tires scattered about (we used to race them down some hills and bike tracks. It was hilariously good fun, once it went just infront of somebody walking a dog- we ran like loons that day.)

-several well hidden bike tracks (and a sort of half pipe area which is great)

-dead crow (not long ago we found it. We buried it and made a cross and everything)

-Engineless motorbike (decent condition i guess, but some rust.)

-Lots of metal plates

-tonnes of golf balls and other sports equipment

-a MASSIVE mountain of gravel. about 30t high - then a few weeks after discovering it (where we had gone every few days to climb it), it vanished within 5 days of last seeing it. never seen it since, but everbodies been making up stories about where it has gone; "it retired to the caribbean","it started a career in rock" and other awful-you-have-to-have-been-there-jokes followed.

-a penknive (about £10)

-bow and arrow (just one made from sticks). infact its not really worth mentioning

-lots of good memories :)
(ErrorCarriedForward, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:26, Reply)

My evil stepfather
was a builder. One time he and his chums found a middle ages secret tunnel with a very dead monk in it.


so they bricked it up because they didn't want the archaeologists to come and disturb their building site.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:25, Reply)

Gets coat.
Way back in my student days I was after a new coat. So off to Oxfam I trot.

I see the ideal coat (long / dark / shabby) and try it on. Whist swanning about the shop in it I put my hand in the pockets and feel a wallet.

Not wanting to draw attention I pay £5 for the coat and hightail it out of the shop.

In the wallet?

£70, treasure for a poor starving student.
(chilling, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:25, Reply)

Greedo
I bought a new car a few years back, and I found a tiny Greedo behind the back seat (from Star Wars, for the philistines), obviously from Micro Machines or something.

Thankfully his gun didn't work so the fucker couldn't shoot first.
( B00gle-H00ps Looks like a horse, in a man costume..., Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:24, Reply)

Not me but...
A friend of my Dad's was tearing down a house and found a mason jar full of gold coins. At that time, it was still illegal in the US to possess US-minted gold coins.

So he turned them in just so he could get his picture in the paper.

Stupid loser.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:18, Reply)

Arms Cache
My wife (then girlfriend) bought a house that had been owned by an older man from his estate after he had died. The house required extensive remodeling, and when we were there doing demolition one night my wife reached into a hole in the ceiling and dragged out three rifles and a Masonic ceremonial sword. She sold the guns and gave me the sword, which I still have.
( katzenfinch, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:18, Reply)

Not hidden gold, but hidden brass...
During a huge fight with my girlfriend I went to the loo for a brief respite. Sitting on the throne I spotted something behind the radiator. I removed the dutsy treasure to find one of her bras. Returning to the fight I threw it at her and told her she could take it with her, along with everything else.

"Oh, good one...", she replied. "It's not mine."
(wifeb3ta, Thu 30 Jun 2005, 16:18, Reply)