vanessa redgrave
in the national theatre's production of Anton Chekhovs The Cherry Orchard.

went to see this a couple of years back. i mean, why applaud her as she walks on the stage for the first time? its not cheers, it bloody chekhov dahrling.

it was a total rape of the madam ranyevskaya character. *weeps tears of frustration*

i walked out at the interval. it was boring, poor production. directed by micheal hall to! shame.
(magictorch, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:54, Reply)

I somehow think I won't be answering this one...
...because the most horrifying things are what I'm trying very hard to forget.

Nor do I think I want to read any of the answers.

Sorry, folks, I'm gonna sit this one out. There's already too much horrendous stuff inside my skull now.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:48, Reply)

More tramp nastiness
A couple of years ago my mate and I went to a large Drum and Bass night at Koko in Cmaden. After a long night raving we were staggering up the road from the club (don't remember the name of the road now) looking for something to eat.

As we were walking along we came across a group of three tramps. Two of them were blokes, and the other was a lady who was sat on a big pile of rubbish. The two blokes were laughing at what seemed to be the expense of the lady tramp. As we got closer we could see why, the lady was sat with her tits out. To put this in context she must have been 50ish easily, and was a fat fucker. She seemed quite pleased at all the attention she was getting as she sat there in her sweatpants fondling herself.

I was quite wrecked and there is not much I remember about the whole evening, but that was one of the things I do remember and that image will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The next day my mate informed me that because of my state of inebriation I stared quite a lot at what was going on as we staggered past. So to anyone else that happened to be wandering by I probably looked like I was enjoying it as much as the other two tramps!

Moral of the story, don't do drugs kids, not if you wanna look like you enjoy looking at fat, smelly, naked lady tramps that is.
(WillyBean, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:48, Reply)

my shinbone
I once split my leg open (accidentally, I'm not mental enough to do it on purpose).
The sight of your own shin through a 2-inch split in the flesh is not nice.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:48, Reply)

my 2 cats
having sex (both male)
(djb, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:45, Reply)

Duck violence
I used to live in Taunton. There are lots of ducks.

One day I saw a duck trying to drown another duck by keeping its victim's head submerged under the water.

I also witnessed three drakes gang rape a duck, one of which was inflicting terrible head injuries onto said duck.

Ducks are not nice creatures.
(Dr GUID, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:43, Reply)

my dog...
happily lapping up mucoid diarrhoea of human origin and watching my mum vomit in disgust. The dog then ate the vomit....
(Mad Itch Goodluck, Goodluck, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:40, Reply)

Half a man. On the platform at Tottenham Court Road tube station.
The rest of him was smeared along the track under the train. They sent fire engines and police cars along to sort out the mess. They didn't bother with an ambulance.
(mikey, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:39, Reply)

cryed like a baby,
Now I've been in the army and seen some nasty, horrible shit in my time, suicide bombers, mates being shot, innocent civvies who've been caught in the the cross fire but the only time I've ever been upset was Boxing day a few years back when I waas taking my much loved but extremely stupid dog (donut) for a walk, he slipped of the lead and chased a cat and ran straight out into the road and was hit by a bus. The old red mist decended and i ran out into the road and picked up old donut with cars swerving to miss me, the sound of his bones crunching will live with me forever. I held him in my arms as he died and cried like a little girl. not ashamed of it and people watching were very kind, almost restored my faith in human nature.
sorry it's not even remotely funny but if you ask an iffy question the expect dodgy answers
(The kneeling rifleman Is slowly getting there.., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:37, Reply)

heads you lose...
I think the internet footage of a Russian soldier being beheaded by a Chechen will stay with me forever, much like the Ken Bigley one - You have mental images of beheadings being done instantly with large curved swords... the reality is not so tidy when someone uses a vegetable knife... Damn my late night addled curiosity... :-(
(Phlash, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:32, Reply)

Tickless
Wiping away at something on my leg. It wouldnt move. Panic and rising terror as I realise I had a tick. Vaseline and tweezers a few hours later did away with it. Oh my god they are disgusting.
(wackers1, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:30, Reply)

Spray
Put my hand through my lounge window a few years back, hit 2 arteries. You have never seen anything like blood spraying from an open wound at high pressure. The memory of the sound alone makes me shudder 10 years later. I decorated the whole of my flat, the stairwell and the front door with my own blood.

My flatmates came home to what literally looked like a bloodbath.

I lived (obviously)

Length? It travelled about 6 foot
(ginger ninja, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:24, Reply)

300MB
Outlook pst file being repeatedly downloaded across the line each time the person responsible moved between sites.

The resultant network traffic was carnage. Sheer carnage.

I'll never be the same man again.
( Kroney, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:24, Reply)

dead babies
post mortems and still births

not fun

not even funny

just depressing as hell

appols for lack of hummus
( bertisfantastic bert is a sleepy bear, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:19, Reply)

Bag lady in Golders Green
feeding KFC to the pigeons.
( SpoonMeiser, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:19, Reply)

Too many to mention but
the one that instantly comes to mind is the 5 year old homeless kid on the streets of Nairobi with his even younger sibling tied to his back - both with various body parts missing
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:18, Reply)

Kiss at Birmingham NEC in 1987.
I was given the ticket at the last minute and badgered to go by a friend. It was just plain fucking awful from start to finish.
( routine has perfected burgers, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:16, Reply)

Truck Vs Boy
When I was at primary school, I saw a boy from another school running along the pavement, he then tripped and fell sideways under the wheels of a truck, he was killed instantly.

I spewed and was taken home by the police as I was in shock.
(hudster, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:12, Reply)

Nature is cruel
Was sitting in a very professional courtyard where all the suits and business types sit and eat their sandwiches and try to get a tan at lunch.

A few people are throwing chips at a seagull to the happy amusement of all.

Then, just to prove that seagulls really are rats with wings and the most horrible creatures on earth, it spies something better, and alive.

The seagull decides to attack a sparrow, in the air, also trying to get some chips.

The seagull lazily flies next to the sparrow and takes nips at it. Feathers fly and the sparrow gets more and more distressed and erratic. The sparrow shits itself - literally, but bravely tries to fly away.

The seagull continues it's relentless attack, nip, nip, nip. People stop talking and watch in horror.

Finally the seagull lurches forward and SWALLOWS THE TINY SPARROW WHOLE IN MID FLIGHT. The seagull's throat is undulating with the panicked sparrows last kicks.

The seagull lands and takes a big gulp. No more sparrow. Then it goes back to the chips.

People throw their sandwiches in the bin and wander dazed and green back into the building.
(Peelmytangerines, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:11, Reply)

It was the tension
that really made this disgusting. I'm sure there will be many realted posts, but this excels for edge of your seat trepidation.

Having plumbed the darkest recess of the internet my mate said he had found a video i really had to watch.

He presses play and we see a fat naked German man lying on his back interfearing with himself. The camera is beween his legs pointed towards his head taking in the full glory of his swollen belly.

Suddenly a woman crouches over his head. "He's going to nibble on her spam purse me thinks." Me thinks wrong. The lady crouches and pushes and pushes and pushes, too much fibre or something. Her dirty teatowl holder puckers and retracts puckers and retracts like Pat Butcher going for a snog after a hot chocolate.

Eventually a wee small turtles head appears, "ya ya" says the interfearing German quickening pace. still the stubbon little fellow won't budge, but there is a fair amount of leakage all flowing, dripping into Fritz's mouth.

Something gotta give, and so it did. out came the steaming log, but rather than falling straight down it did a 180 degree curl made made a desperate attempt to return from whence it was created. Eventually gravity won this mighty battle of wills and the chocolate roll dropped in it's entirety into the now frantically masturbating Germans mouth. Where he gently mouthed it like a faithful labrador might playful bite its owners arm. He looked so proud of himself afterwards.

Length? Turd 1 German 0
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:09, Reply)

Lefty
I was working on a runway when I came across a bloke who had just had his leg ripped/chewed off up to the knee by a diamond-tipped tarmac scraper. His boot was some feet away and was stood upright with his foot still in it, just a bone sticking up like a small pole. Surreal.
Bits of flesh were splattered all around - looks very much like lard!
(MichaelLinge (ywc), Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:03, Reply)

Working on the farm one day,
the dog was hiding in the corn and we didn't see him till he got harvested.

He was still alive, but an artery was poking out of his leg. Each time it spurted he turned his head and lapped it up.

He survived though. Hooray!
( teedyay, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 15:02, Reply)

Nasty car accident
Was walking back from a fireworks display and this was during a big ambulance strike. The big green army ambulances had been brought in as back up. One screeched by and provided a lovely distraction to everybody, just as a huge crowd of people were crossing the road.

The light turned green, the numnuts at the wheel was obviously watching the big green army ambulance, stepped on the accelerator and ploughed into the crowd crossing the street.

ALMOST everyone jumped out of the way, except for a family. Mother hit, kid hit, dad clipped. She went under, the kid got knocked about 10 feet forward, the dad got spun around. Saw everything.

There was this deafening silence for about a half a second, then this almighty scream goes up from the Mum, and wail from the kid.

At this point people started rushing forward to help and I couldn't see much. There was over 200 people around, many of whom were witnesses. Someone was shouting she was a nurse. People were calling 999. Me and the boyfriend weren't needed. We just felt awkward and in the way, so we left.

It was truly horrible, and unexpectedly I kind of went into shock for a few hours. I was cold and shaky and could hardly talk for ages. I never want to see anything like that again.
(Peelmytangerines, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:59, Reply)

gone off apple juice, milk etc
and 3 dead rabbits (mix-a-mo-toe-sis) tied to a telephone mast after the farmer had shot them, dead foxes, dead cats, dead badgers - mostly maggot infected
falling off my push bike into cow muck... then takign a swim in the freezing cold river to wash it off
and your face
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:59, Reply)

Chubster
the entire Holy Trinity has to be considered. Goatse, Tubgirl and Harlequin Foetus. The last one is plain disturbing.
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:57, Reply)

cat food
I buy cat food in bulk at costco, the airtight sachets of food last a year or so. I opened one which i had for at least 9 months in the boxes under the stairs. I noted it was beef. It felt a bit squishy - more than usual, ho hum i thought as i tore the top off.

I never thought it was possible to just instantly gag, retch and hurl just because of a smell, i am in no way a squeamish person.

The black and green fetid, festering, foul liquid putridness that is 9 month+ old rotten beef commands a level of respect. My very small kitchen floor was within seconds alive with this stench and the effluence of my repeated vomiting. I left a trail as i literally fell outside. This shit fucking MOVED on its own on the floor.

Just when it couldnt get any worse, the cat sidles up, and she's retching - those dry heaves they do when coughing up a hairball.

It wasnt a hairball. her contribution to the kitchen floor was a mass of cat sick, think a shit/vomit mix, writhing with worms. Living worms. About 20 of these 6" long things in their final death throes,spending their filthy first and last minutes in the world, in a rotting pool of decomposed beef, sick and shit.

I'd go on about how I had to clean up but I feel sick just writing this down.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:55, Reply)

kitten + maggots
On holiday in Spain, there was a kitten that would frolic around the pool to the general amusement of the tourists. Then it disappeared. A few days later I discovered it's furry corpse under a palm. It's head had been split open and maggots were writhing contentedly inside its liquescent brain as ants made the best of its limbs. Nature is cruel.
(frankspencer, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:52, Reply)

i don't know whether to be proud or scared of what i've started
don't know about lightguy!

but i feel sick reading some of these. so i'll start off with one that doesn't involve bodily fluids, just much mental barfing at the sickly sentiment.

just seen two chavs in uxbridge. he's wearing a blue t-shirt with "tony loves michelle" in pink letters written in a pink heart. and she's wearing a pink t-shirt with a blue heart proclaiming "michelle loves tony".

i think i might be physically sick...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:48, Reply)

Its got to be said


GOATSE

if you dont know what it is, dont google image search it
(Chubster Will kill your children and burn your wife on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:47, Reply)

When i was in primary school
Two lads where looking in to a drain in the play ground trying too see if they could find the "The Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles"(that’s what there were called when i was in to them, I know it should be Ninja) but couldn’t see them so they decided to lift the drain cover.

Whiles looking down the drain one lad had his hands over the edge and the other lad moved round to get a closer look but knocked the cover to which it closed back down and cut off some of his fingers off. All I remember is a lot of blood, screaming kid and the dinner lady going ape shit!!!

After they had got the kid, calmed him down and called 999, the dinner lady used a lunch box to get his fingers back to take to the hospital. All the grids where screwed down after that.

Poor fuck won’t be able to play the piano again
(Vampiror Nightstalker likes to watch your every move!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:45, Reply)