Matt the Twat
There was a guy who was friends with some of our group, who was often found to be listening to Gabba Hardcore, or other such music on his headphones. Occasionally he would pound on the table and mutter 'Harder' or 'Faster'. We stole his phrases for this game.

Basically, the game phrase is 'harder, harder, faster, faster, louder, louder, MORE'.

The first person has to say 'Harder', and the next person says the next word, and so on, looping through for as long as possible. Obviously this has to be played at top speed.

If you say the wrong word, or take to long you are Matt the Twat, and are out of the game. The remaining contestants continue from the beginning, until you have a winner.

This was great until the real Matt was sat at the table, and the topic of his game came up, a game he knew nothing about. (Particularly the games name).
( ArghZombies No longer has a Leaky QUIM, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:57, Reply)

Follow the freak
i live in brighton and we have more than our fair share of freaks, goths, nutters and wankers. the idea is to follow them around town as close as poss. it doesn't matter if they know you're there, in fact we found that it works better that way.
its a bit shit really isn't it?
( piss j bungle Board sick, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:51, Reply)

BEARD
A game invented during free periods at college.

At least 2 players are needed for this.

Firstly, someone would need to be 'nominated' to go first and an order of play decided(usually decided by the 'Ip dip dog shit' method of random player selection) .

All the players would proceed to the college library and sit around a table.

The person nominated to go first would need to say 'BEARD'. Then the next would need to say it louder. The next louder than that....

And so on.

The winner was the person with the least warnings from the librarian or the person who managed to get the whole group thrown out.

Great fun, but could only be played once or twice a day by the same group.
( Mr Spleen Can do better. C-, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:45, Reply)

hair sniffing
It's quite simple really... when out on the piss with a bunch off mates the challenge is to smell as many people of the opposite sex's heads as possible without them noticing - normally decided by the appointed adjudicator of the evening.

Scoring is as follows:
1 point for a sniff
2 points if you manage to rub their hair in your face, or if they are bald.

Although usually we tend to forget the scoring
It's ended up with one of us getting slapped by the girlfriend of the guy who's head she was sniffing, and on another occasion I almost got thrown out of my Dad's pub for doing it.

Good times ...
(psykit, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:41, Reply)

0800 challenge
1. in evening, get pissed
2. get home after closing, make fried egg sandwich or simlah
3. all take turns dialling 0800 followed by a random 7 digit number
4. Points are scored for a 'hit' (i.e. guessing a real number with a live person - surprisingly easy) and a 'conversion' (actually engaging that usually bored and pissed up person in conversation, fooling them that you really are interested in Stannah Stairlifts/the Shingles helpline/chiropody/whatever).
5. Bonus points are scored by giving out absent mates addresses so they receive lots of lovely mail.

The best one we ever did was when Martin got through to Radio Rentals and asked to rent a radio "with FM, like, cos mine's only got MW and LW"; the bloke could not explain why this was not possible.

We were very broke as students. we didn't have a telly.
(Phil not DS, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:38, Reply)

Tree Rings
You will need

1) a group of friends in light coloured trousers
2) a busy bar

The aim of the game is to release small amounts of urine down your leg, causing a line to form on your keks- a "tree ring". But beware- if the wee reaches your ankle, its "game over". The player with the most tree rings wins free drinks all night, and its always fun asking strangers to judge the results. . .
(le renard, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:24, Reply)

Theme Tune
Me and my brother, when meeting in London somewhere, sometimes find a nice vantage point, (eg. Burger King in Piccadilly Circus) watch people walking past and give them theme tunes... usually ripped off Children's TV programmes from the 80s.

It's amazing how many people walk like Roobarb and Custard or Mr. Ben. The Professionals is good as well.

I can't believe my first post was so dull.
(MECHALEX, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:22, Reply)

two games
which can be played anywhere...

lad or lass (most fun in the pub)

hat or hair (most fun where old ladies are around)
( stup0t, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:13, Reply)

Casualty Sweepstake
You will need:
1. 10 or so players.
2. Paper and pen.
3. A night in on Saturday.
4. Money.
Rules:
1. You write the times at 5 minute intervals from the start of "Casualty" on BBC1 e.g. 0 to 5 min, 5 to 10 min etc.
2. Each player draws one or more pieces of paper, putting in £1 or more per paper.
3. The time the first person dies in the episode is noted and the person with the winning time gets the cash pool.
4. If nobody dies during the episode then the sweepstake is declared a roll over and the same rules apply for the next episode of "Holby City".
(Doctor Evil, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:06, Reply)

Name That Tune
Basically you "say" (not sing or rhyme in any way) a line of a song and your opponent has to guess the name of the song and who its by.
Sounds easy, but the trick is to think of the most obscure part of the song. Doesn't have to be a whole line either. Obviously avoiding a line that has the title in it is key.
To this day my favorite was
"My shaving razor's cold and it stings". My ex never got it and I refused to tell.
NB. Helps if you have similar tastes in music.
(Slartybartfast, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 14:06, Reply)

JOEY BALL
When I was a kid at middle school, Joey Deacon was famous on Blue Peter for suffering from Cerebral Palsey. We dedicated a game to him called Joey Ball. It involved throwing a tennis ball to one end of the playground, and then all running after it shouting JOEY! with our tongues under our bottom lips, and having a bundle
(budgima, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:56, Reply)

Maggots
Discovered one balmy day in a campsite in Somerset. The rules are two people (drunk and/or stoned optional, but infinately more fun) put sleeping bags over their heads and bodies thus appearing as maggotts, stand 10 feet apart and then run at each other, the aim being to knock your companion to the ground. Great fun if you miss each other and run into the tent/caravan.
(Swampy, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:52, Reply)

Drink your own name game
This game always ends with projectile vomiting, especially if you happen to have a long name! Basically you have to down drinks that correspond to the letters in your name, e.g SARAH: S=SCOTCH, A=ABSOLUTE VODKA, R=RUM, A=ABSINTHE, H=HEINEKEN
Thing is we can't think of any suitable drinks that begin with Y or E....can you?
(Ghost Batty Rider, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:49, Reply)

Ragdoll.
Freshers week in halls at York around 1995.

Popped to visit a beautiful girl (Miss X) in the room above mine for a cup of tea, 'fancy a pint', let-me-introduce-myself type chat.

Things going very well until I hear a thundering rumble of footsteps, the door flies open and in bounds Mr Y (over 6ft tall) who shouts "RAGDOLL!" - At which point Miss X groans and goes all floppy, as he picks her up and throws her around the room over and over again.

I simply sit and watch, wide-eyed, as my tea goes cold.

Then Mr Y leaves. Miss X sits back down, brushing the hair from her face, and we carry on talking. Suffice to say that though we got together briefly, Miss X and I, we never played Ragdoll.

Maybe that's why it wasn't meant to be.
(microsaulxp, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:34, Reply)

The Name Game
With mates in a car, shout out to people walking down the road with made up names as if you know them, while waving manically. eg. "Alright, John!", "What's up, Steve?" etc. Bonus points are scored for anyone who waves back, the use of titles or particularly ridiculous names. The best call managed so far was "Hey, Lord Goonville! How's it going?"
(Mr Mandrake, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:34, Reply)

Random Phone calls
Essentially, a game of chicken.

Played in a large, well known engineering company, on the evening shift (with virtually everyone else gone home.)

- Phone a random phone number and see if anyone answers.
-If they do, extricate oneself with the phrase "Is Neville there?...oh....I must have a wrong number, sorry" and putting phone down.
- To lose the game - get the response "Yes, this is Neville" (unfortunately, the Managing Director !).

From experience this bit leads to mind going blank, and much verbal wibble-ing.

Sounds a bit shit...but it was fun at the time.
( Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:34, Reply)

Pooing at work
Very simple points based game.

One player (obviously)
Score as many points as possible

1 point allocated if first choice cubicle is free.
1 point for toilet seat up (as in last person using loo was there for a piss)
1 point for seat cleanliness (i.e. no piss or hair)
1 point for bowl cleanliness (no leftover jobbies!)
1 point for any loud gas emissions.
-1 (minus 1) point for any loud gas emissions made by a neighbour (edit -2 if said person turns out to be someone you know)
2 points if poo is wax coated (i.e. one wipe does the trick)
1 point if only 1 flush required
1 point if nobody enters loo during visit
1 point if your poo triggers the auto air conditioner spray
-1 point if someone rattles your cubicle doo
A top poo therefore could rate 10points a really bad one could have more than -2 points (if much cubicle door rattling and noises it could be minus anything!)

anyway keeps me amused!
(cowkicker, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:34, Reply)

Dangerous Driving
When on school trips many years ago, we used to play a game called "Good Reaction, Bad Reaction". This invloved either the third page from The Sun/Star or any page from the Daily Sport (or better yet a porno mag) and then holding it up against the coach window.

Popular with truckers, but oddly unpopular with a minibus of Nuns encountered on the M3... Got bollocked after they stopped in Fleet services and made a beeline for the teachers.
(diessel, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:30, Reply)

Impromptu Games we Play
My mates and I whilst imbibing alcoholic concoctions would cast our eye around the room and play "spot the celeb".

The object of the game was to make your mucker choke on his beer at the suggestion that you'd seen "Celebrity X" was in tonight.

Best examples?

Black bloke with quiff would be "little Richard"

Fat bloke with no hair would be Phil Mitchell.

You get the drift.

It was all V Funny at the time.
( porky, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:30, Reply)

Burger
the game is simple- two players must search their mobile phones to find the numbers of people they do not like. This achieved, the other person must dial this number and say nothing but "BURGER" for the whole conversation. it looks something like this:

*ring ring*

A: Hello?

B: BURGER.

A: um... hello?

B: BURGER?

A: ok then.

B: BURGER!

*click*

our record is three. it's a lot funnier in the flesh.
(underachiever, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 13:26, Reply)

Stupid e-mails
Before I left my last job, we had a contest to see who could send the most ridiculous fake e-mail to the whole company without getting rumbled. My friend won by asking if anyone knew where they could get some falcons, as the ones they were going to use for a photoshoot all had beak rot.
(Pachey, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:57, Reply)

Two or three silly games
which me and the girl play are as follows:

The girl lives in Loughborough, which seems to be the home of the modded Fiat Punto and other average priced automobiles, so it seems entirely appropriate to play 'Spot the Mod'. Points are awarded for tints, spoilers, alloys, bodykits, fat pipes and silly decals and sunstrips. In fact, so prodigiously talented at modding are the denizens of this once sleepy East Midlands town, that we've had to introduce a local points weighting system to counter the enormous points scoring potential of the town.Now, only the truly stinky/inappropriate/outrageous examples of the art can be submitted for scoring.

Second, and a related game, is Chavspotting, which once again, can be played with ease in Loughborough, but is truly alive in Nottingham, where, as with Modspotting in Loogabarooga, a local points system has had to be introduced. Only the truly chavved-out-to-the-max can now qualify for consideration when played in the city. However, we usually elect to play a 'joker', whereby a certain style of dress, item, haircut, etc scores double. Burberry, for example, or that classy old fave, five-inches-of-visible-thong.

If you see us pointing and sniggering at people in Nottingham, then it won't be us, cos we're too subtle for that, but we will be looking at the local fauna in the Broadmarsh shopping centre on saturday, you can depend on it!

Other top chav-spotting sites are Portsmouth (all of it, R.I.P the Tricorn Centre), West Quay Centre in Southampton, and Nuneaton on a Saturday night...

In fact, we're so hooked on these 2 games that we've even got tickets to Kroozin Live at Uttoxeter races, so we can see the cars and the Burberry in action all day long!
Does this make us sad? Don't answer that!
(doctor sideburns, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:55, Reply)

At school...
we used to play an elaborate and utterly pointless game of see-who-can-stand-on-the-table-for-longest-whilst-the-teacher-has-their-back-turned. The game was usually played in German lessons, hence its excellent name: Steht Auf Dem Tisch (stand on the table).
(Wax cat, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:55, Reply)

Number Plate Insults

Another 'Me and the Missus' game! Basically very simple in that when out driving you have to shout insults at each other based on the number plate letters of the car in front.

The only rules are that 1) all the letters must be used and 2)that the insults must be shouted...
So: Y240CFD becomes a very loud: YOU C*NT F*CK DILDO

...anyway, it keeps us amused!
(SproutsAreEvil, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:55, Reply)

Homosexual chicken
2 blokes take turns at feeling each other up. The first one to give up has to buy the other a pint. Much more enjoyable watching 2 chicks playing though.
(thrain, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:45, Reply)

I was introduced to a game at the weekend, designed to occupy minds on boring car journeys
Name a type of building. Starting off is easy - bungalow, shop, sports centre, etc but after a while you have to think hard. Foreign ones are allowed.

Rules: must be a permanent structure - portaloo not allowed, public toilet is.

Sounds lame, but can be bizarrely addictive.
( notshiny, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:43, Reply)

TYTI
This game is cool and can be played anywhere. Basically, you walk around (or play it when you walk around) and try to spot weird, fat, weird, ugly looking people. Then at the closest possible point to them, the first person has to say "thats you that is" to anyone else in the group. This gets one point. It is first to ten. For instance, if we walking along, and we saw Paul Daniels or Patrick Kielty i would say "thats you that is" and i would get a point. A point is deducted if the person is disabled in some way. Unless its REALLY funny.
(mynameisnotgoodge, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:22, Reply)

Cone
Cone is a Herculean game of skill and agility which requires you to keep tapping a ball (or a suitable substitute) in the air with the palm of you hands (like kick ups but with your hands!). At least 2 players pass the cone randomly to each other throughout a zone and only 2 taps are allowed before passing. Points are awarded for outlandish flair and unqualified arrogance in your coning abilities.

Several of my friends have slipped into the forlorn word of Cone players when we invented the game/sport using pine cones (hence the name) one day at the park. We are currently developing a university wide Cone society and our website will be available soon at www.gottolovethecone.co.uk
(le_poulet_de_la_funk, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:20, Reply)

a couple of games
1. Frenchman Cricket.
This is similar to pub cricket (which I'm sure you all know how to play), except it is with frenchmen instead of pubs cause there are little to no pubs in france. The rules are as follows: frenchman : 1 run, frenchman with dog : 2 runs, onions on a string : 1 run, hooped top : 1 run, bicicle : 1 run, comedy moustache : 1 run, group of frenchmen : 4 runs, drunk frenchman : 6 runs, cat : out, frenchwoman : out, child : out, englishperson : out.

Surprisingly enough this is normally a low scoring game, but fun cause i hate the french.

2. Mecca Monopoly
In the cafe where I work (the mecca) a boring saturday afternoon afforded us the chance to create mecca monopoly. All our regular customers were given a square on the monopoly board. The best customers were of course the dark blues, rangin down to old kent road. Making up the names was fun, a huge breasted slapper became "The Community Chest" and a tranny was "Chance". Anyways the rules were like monopoly whereby if you served or helped a customer on the board you got that property. Extra points for getting a full colour set and we even had the community chest and chance cards made up with comedy forfeits. The winner was the person with the most points at the end of the day.

This is a more popular version of mecca bingo.

3. Go kick a little kid
If someone sees a little kid, and shouts "go kick a little kid" the person they point to has to do it. 1 point for kicking a kid, 2 points if he/she falls over, 3 points if they cry. No points if a responsible adult catches you.
(tricky_soul, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:17, Reply)

Mullet touch
This is a game of kings.

It originated in Weymouth, where a friend of mine was working (as a teacher). Weymouth is famous for having two things highest per capita than the rest of the UK; teenage mothers, and mullets.

The aim of the game originally was just to spot a mullet.
Then it progressed to 'Touching the mullet', we even started taking photos of ourselves doing this...

We gave up after getting too drunk and trying to kiss some scabby weirdo's mullet...

Eurgh...
( Geej, Tue 30 Mar 2004, 12:13, Reply)