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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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Where's the best place to have sex?
In the arse
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 7 Jan 2020, 22:37, 1 reply, 5 years ago)
What eight peas goose, mountain oaf?
Ovoid widow oink, ghoul ugh.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 7 Jan 2020, 21:59, 4 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
In the USSR, a common punishment for those convicted of political crimes was to be sent to a labour camp in the middle of the Russian wilderness.
This meant that if you did something that annoyed Stalin, he put you on the naughty steppe.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 30 Dec 2019, 23:04, Reply)
I got a Christmas card
and when I opened it, some grains of rice fell out!

Must have been from my Uncle Ben.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 28 Dec 2019, 17:18, Reply)
Sawus
(Me) Doctor, I've got bruising all over, I think I've got a terrible case of "Sawus"!
(Doc) That's not a condition I'm familiar with, please explain it.
(Me) Well I was shaggin my mates wife, he came home early and Sawus!

Sorry. Can I have my £5 now please?
(WGCtrev, Thu 12 Dec 2019, 16:27, Reply)
Skip the cheesy lines...
...that was the tagline on her online dating profile.

So I wrote to her, "Skip the cheesy lines? You gouda brie kidding! Where's the fon-duing that?!? : )))"
(DingoChavez I will be good. I will be good., Sun 8 Dec 2019, 13:16, 2 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
Why did Bayern Munich look more agile?
because of Countinho's integration
(hellish, Mon 11 Nov 2019, 17:32, Reply)
Whats the difference.....
between George michael and a lifeguard?
A lifeguard bosses in togs!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Sat 9 Nov 2019, 1:36, Reply)
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints
(I helped save b3ta! ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Fri 8 Nov 2019, 9:49, 1 reply, 5 years ago)
Why is Boris Johnson's hair all messy?
Brexnits
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 5 Nov 2019, 23:58, Reply)
What's brown and smells funny?
Clown Poo
(wambam Thank you! Young man., Sat 2 Nov 2019, 22:05, Reply)
Two prostitutes walking down the street
One says, "Can you smell spunk?"
The other says, "Sorry I just burped."
(hal9001, Mon 21 Oct 2019, 19:21, 1 reply, 5 years ago)
Why did Boris order a vindaloo?
Because he craved Arcuri.
(Ryja, Fri 18 Oct 2019, 23:14, Reply)
What do a tampon and a crampon have in common?
If you don't ram them in a crack firmly enough there will be a terrible bloody mess on the ground.
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sun 13 Oct 2019, 18:27, Reply)
What toy do you buy for a prisoner?
A butt plug.
(stuntsmile, Mon 30 Sep 2019, 12:52, 1 reply, 5 years ago)
I'm not a big fan of levers,
but they have their moments.
(Piddins Drinking Double Dutch since, Sun 22 Sep 2019, 0:13, 1 reply, 5 years ago)
Do Kids in the Punjab play hide and Sikh?

(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Sat 21 Sep 2019, 23:52, Reply)
Why did the motorway sit in the middle of the restaurant?
Because it had a central reservation
(mysticmurray, Sat 21 Sep 2019, 20:06, Reply)
What's the difference between tampons and aristocrats?
Both are bloody stuck up cunts but at least tampons are useful.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 20 Sep 2019, 15:47, 2 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
I've just started doing an online course in aeronautical design.
It's cloud based.
(I helped save b3ta! Varmint, Thu 19 Sep 2019, 20:10, Reply)
1 Million and 768,000.
The new fragrances from Paco Rabanne.
(I helped save b3ta! JebediahSpringfield, Tue 17 Sep 2019, 15:09, Reply)
I opened a pawn shop that pays out porn DVDs
It’s called Tit for Tat
(I helped save b3ta! chart cat has an itch, Thu 5 Sep 2019, 8:06, Reply)
A man walks into an ingboard
Ouch! It was an ironingboard.


Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Andy_R At the third stroke, the time will be precisely, Mon 2 Sep 2019, 3:33, 1 reply, 5 years ago)
How many bloods did it take before someone made a film about Rambo?
One.
(I helped save b3ta! The Legendary Pink Dot survived yet another, Mon 26 Aug 2019, 19:45, Reply)
Best joke ever.
Q. Why did the fish sink?
A. Because it was a brick.
Credit for this work of genius must be given to my autistic freind, Neil R.
(Shashi, Sat 24 Aug 2019, 22:17, Reply)
Where do Joy Division live?
In a terrace apartment again
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 23 Aug 2019, 4:56, Reply)
Some people are saying that Tony Robinson's new series, The Thames: Britain's Great River, is just another derivative Channel 5 Robinson vehicle with little to say
But I think it's a watershed moment in British television
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 19 Aug 2019, 6:55, Reply)
Two prostitutes talking, one says...
"Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Other says...

"No but I've been swung round by the tits"
(72targetlad, Sat 17 Aug 2019, 13:47, 2 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
Have you heard the one about the 3 holes in the ground??
Well, well, well.
(72targetlad, Sat 17 Aug 2019, 13:44, Reply)

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