I met my girlfriend (who is a supermodel) at a Ferrari Owners Club meet
because I drive a Ferrari and my girlfriend is a supermodel

FIRST
(yeah right bollocks bollocks, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 18:36, 5 replies)

Playing in the Mud
A text based MUD - Crapweasel - I met a woman who is now my wife. I was in Australia at the time, recently separated, and she was living in Dallas. In September 2000 I took some time off work, flew to the US to meet her. It went well, so 9 months later, she flew to Sydney, where we got married, had our honeymoon on a cruise on the Barrier Reef (thanks Aussie Wheel of Fortune). A few weeks later, with a temporary US visa in my possession, I migrated to the US. 10 years and three states later, we are still together.
(Maclir, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 18:22, Reply)

I was supposed to meet this cute girl off 4chan
But it was Chris Hansen instead :(
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 18:20, Reply)

I met the cracking girl who is sat next to me right now on here
And then subsequently on Facebook, went down to London to meet her and ended up bringing her back with me, she's hardly left since, moving in together early next month :-)

And hope to meet a lot more lovely people at the Manchester bash next week
(Kip, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 18:02, 29 replies)

I have never met anyone off the internet
Cos everyone knows people on the internet aren't real, right?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:46, Reply)

I once met someone off CB at an eyeball
actually thinking about it I met an awful lot of people off CB and I was only 12. Most of them were pretty odd, harmless but pretty odd. My parents didn't seem to mind much and I never got into any trouble. I was always hanging round stranger's houses/cars no-one seemed to bat an eyelid.

It'd probably make the front page of all the redtops now if a 12 year old went to some old bloke's house that they had met on the internet to do something illegal on their computer. But that's pretty much what kids were doing in the 80's except it wasn't the internet and computers it was sidband CB's and burners.

I didn't have much success with girls though, most of them turned out to be boys whose voices hadn't broken yet.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:30, 1 reply)

There are some interesting folk out there
Via the joys of the internet I have talked to and then met some really interesting aging odd balls, a couple of Goth rockers and most recently an American who wanted to visit the UK to recreate a photo they had of their Dad, who was a biker in Bristol in the sixties. It was really cool, I turned up with my motorbike for the photo all alone in Bristol, slighly worried that I was about to be kidnapped by Somali Pirates and sold as awhite slavegirl, but it was fine.
Sometimes you just got to have faith in people. Turns out he is a B3tard too. See Ya Rich, hope the photo came out great!

Had he told me he was a B3tard first, I am not sure I would have gone, after all, some of you are frankly rather scary!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:29, 7 replies)

I met a girl on Match
she looked pretty, she came across bubbly. We agreed to meetup for some drinks.

I put on a nice shirt, jeans, shoes.

I arrived at the bar (actually a hotel) and waited with a beer.

Then she arrived, dolled up to the max. 6" stilettos, shiny pink mini dress, Brunette hair done to the max. She was stunning, but in a trashy Jordan kinda way.

She looked alot like a hooker.

We chatted, I drank, she drank more ( i noticed drinks seemed to evaporate in front of her).

She then decided to tell me all of her history (bear in mind this was more of a meetup and see what you think of each other rather than a date)

Lord help me her history.

She told me she was a stripper in Manchester (half my brain at this point went into celebration mode, the other went into a mild panic. Not GF material, but a hell of a shag on the cards?), and that she used to date one of Head of one of the largest gangs in Liverpool. Alarm bells are starting to ring here.

I had just finished telling her a charming quip about how my car isnt fast, but its a nice runner. But, in return, and quite off topic I was now proceeding to get smashed in the face with facts about her history.. and not nice facts. Bang one after another!

My mind wandered about how out of the norm it was to divulge such secrets to what i was - a complete stranger - a stranger you are looking to date. He has bought you one drink, you have known each other for 90 mins.

"...and then I tried to commit suicide" she said, as i connected back into the converstation again.

"What? wow", I tried to act sympathetic, but I knew I could bolt.. if I wanted to. But hey, Id had a few pints and I couldnt be @rsed, plus I hadnt had s3x in ages, and well, I felt lucky.

"yeah I tried to commit suicide, when my sister found me..just in time apparantly,. but dont worry, this is all well behind me" she laughed - nervously.

"really?" I asked. Well done, "when did this all happen?" I asked, wondering if it was suitable to change the subject yet.

"2 months ago"

*Alarm bells intensify the ringing*

I made my excuses and finished off my beer. She gulped her Double vodka.

"Ok, well, erm, I better get a cab, nice meeting you" I was nearly home and dry, it was an interesting night, not one I want to revisit, I felt kind of embarrassed. What a odd one.

"Lets share a cab" she proclaimed, "you can meet my friends!"

oh dear - I thought. I knew we would find it hard to get a cab from where we were. She knew I lived just beyond were she was going. I couldnt get out of it.

My cab turned up. She just got in, without me agreeing.

She held my hand.

I noticed the stench of cheap perfume. she continued to off load her history, then laugh at how silly it all was. It wasnt. It was scary.

We arrived in Birkenhead - she grabbed my hand, paid the taxi man and proceeded to push me into one of the chavvy bars. Chavvy isnt the word. Where everyone is wearing Lacoste, and rockport shoes, heavily gelled hair, with bottles of VK orange in both hands. Happy hard core bellowed out from all directions.

I got a becks and made it to the edge of the dance floor. The girl found me and proceeded to snog my face off. Wow. This is now becoming difficult. She likes me, and Im scared of her. I am now involved with a nutjob. Who, Im scared might still be suicidal, whom me saying fuck off to, might send her back into Suicidal oblivion.

I just wanted to leave, but every time, I tried, she would grab my arm and introduce me to one of her Scally mates. eventually I convinced her I was in work the next day, and left. Exhausted.


I then copied the text from another unsucessful girl I had met a few days before, talking about "not right for me, you were really nice good luck" sent it to her and deleted her from my phone.

Nut job.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:24, 22 replies)

Sarah Beeny - Property Developer, Media Whore, Dating Guru...
I once tried Beeny's website where your mates 'sell' you to prospective birds/blokes by writing a paragraph or two highlighting your best features. My mates James wrote a bit of blurb, with the best line being - 'Mr Fudge's best body part is his nipples'.

Now I don't know what is wrong with you ladies, but I was literally inundated with err.. some emails asking for photos of my chest bulls-eyes. I mean you all have tits that you can look at in the mirror, lube up and play with, and yet you want to see my hairy moobs? It's just weird. Anyway, one message in particular leaps to mind...

From a 47yr old, HUUUGE divorced single mum of three from Stockport (I am 31 and live in London).

It simply read, 'We have something in common. My best features are my nips too. Though you won't get to see them when we meet up. Unless you buy me dinner first. ;-)

I'm seeing her this weekend. As far as I'm concerned, any hole's a goal, even though after three kids, it'll be like throwing a sausage down a corridor. Wish me luck!
(Mr Fudge It shouldn't be illegal to have sex with an eagle, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:01, 17 replies)

I met Tutt
she was pleasant and by met, no I don't mean poke
( SiX and his hat, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:58, 7 replies)

I met a girl from the internet
And she was actually a girl, which was surprising.

I'd known her for three years or so, and had actually met her once before when I happened to be in the right town; but this time it was for a proper night out rather than just a chance meeting for half an hour.

We went out, we had a few drinks, she broke my ankle. Love at first sight really. We broke up two and a half years later, which in itself must be almost five years ago now. I tried to keep in touch, but it wasn't really good for either of us.

Last I heard from her was about a year ago; she'd had a bit of a bad breakup a while previously, I was having a weird time of things and felt like making contact, so I dropped her one of those bi-monthly, let's-catch-up type texts.

She told me to fuck off, that I was the scum of the earth, she was changing her phone number, and has since vanished entirely off the face of the Internet.

Which was a little puzzling.

I do still wonder what's happened to her sometimes.
( gone, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:54, 4 replies)

OH GOD SHE WAS SO FAT.
And I still did it out of politeness.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:50, 3 replies)

Dr Who?
As my pathetic desire for some male company overcame my shame at delving into the murky depths of internet dating I signed up for the holy grail of saddos, losers and psychos...plenty of Fish. However after a date with a man with false teeth and a man who sat down, leant across the table and said "if you sleep with me tonight i won't think you were a slut" when I hadn't even finished my first pint and we were talking about the M5 being awfully congested, I'd pretty much given up. However one night, I hit paydirt. 5 years older than me? Great. Good looking? Great. Funny witty and clever? Great AND a doctor. result! After two weeks of chatting and flirting online we decided to meet up. Much excitement was felt as I primped, preened, ironed me best top, waxed my tashe and all the other girlie things women do pre date. As I walked towards the pub I saw a man who looked 'vaguely' like my beau but squished and left out in the rain. He obviously recognised me though and came bounding over. "OK" i thought " don't be shallow. People always choose a flattering pic." We went to a pub and had a pint and we talked...dull, grinding, inane chat with him looking at me with dead eyes. "So!" I wittered "medicine! Bet that's exciting" "I dunno if I'll do it anymore" he grunted "can't fit it in. I work in a photocopier shop funny hours." "Erm..how do you fit being a doctor in?" "Oh I do St John's ambulance but my mum said girls fancy doctors. She's the one who sent you all them messages. I'm not very good with that sort of bullshit" i didn't even finish my scratchings.
(DubstepBetty Down wiv der kids since 1972, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, 5 replies)

I was a member of a website
populated by the shadiest assortment of basement-dwelling dog-rapists & kiddy-fiddlers who also happened to be in possession of the shonkiest set of photoshop skills that ever graced the lowest gutters of this internet. It was a truly magnificent place.
I say 'was' because recently that hallowed site seems to have cashed in it's chips and the Norwegian fellow by whose hand alone it could be resurrected seems to have gone AWOL about 7 years ago...
Look, it's very complicated o.k? But I met someone off it and I'm still alive. This is my story.

It was about 6 years ago, in the time before I got completely fucking sick of my fellow countrymen and became the happy and contented near-shut-in that I am today. Before I go too much further I have to confess to that I'm an Australian, Perthite to be precise. And one of the banal habits of us Aussies then - not so much now because this computing business seems to have gotten quite popular - was to be completely surprised and delighted when discovering that another Aussie has also worked out how to internet. In those heady days every Aussie online knew each other. So when S and I discovered that we both lived not only on the same continent BUT IN THE SAME STATE and only 3 hours apart, we became instant friends (also S is genuinely a pretty cool guy, to be fair...and in case by some weird magick he is reading this).
So when S messaged me that it was his 21st birthday coming up, I messaged back that that sounded pretty fucking sweet and I would be coming down.
At the time I was seeing a guy, Brad, I'd picked up off adultfriendfinder.com - who turned out to be an abusive psycho (surprise!), but that is another story - although probably a more interesting one if, like me, you're the kind of gratuitous voyeuristic arsehole who enjoys reading about other people's emotional trauma. And you know you are. I digress...
Long story short (ha! no it isn't!), it's after work friday night and Brad-the-psycho and I drive 3 hours down the coast and arrive in bumfuck W.A. (actually one of Western Ausfailure's major regional centres. If you've never been to Bunbury - it's like the south of France. Shut up, it is so. Don't google it.) We swing by a liquor store and grab a bottle of the second-to-finest tequila they have in stock for the birthday boy. Because I really am just that classy.
So by now it's geting lateish, and it's dark. And the local shire clearly didn't believe in wasting money on such frivolities as street signs - possibly to reduce the number of hanging points available to it's population. So I ring S and instead of giving us, you know, instructions, he said he'd drive out to meet us and guide us safely to his house like a big, friendly, probably-been-drinking-all-fucking-day tugboat. Realise that at this point we'd never met before so when he screeches to a halt up to where we were waiting on some desolate sideroad, it was all awkward hugs and introductions and then "Follow me!" so we followed. We got to the party and some drama involving low alcohol supplies was unfolding, so S waves us in and heads back out into the wilds of bumfuck on the mission to secure more appropriate levels of piss.
After his tail lights disappeared, it becomes pretty apparent that most of S's mates appeared to be 16 year old goth chicks with an added assortment of druggies, geeks and ne'er-do-wells. My kinda people, really, but Brad was a dick and an awkward one at that. It was still early days in what was only to be a two month relationship before he showed his true colours and I am a pretty nice person really, so to alleviate his awkwardness and the fact that he stuck out like the sorest of thumbs I stayed by him and was kinda prevented from mingling. For several hours. Until the party boy was processed and released from the lock-up, told that drinking and driving is stupid, m'kay?, and given his summons to appear before the local magistrate.
S finally arrived back at his party, which by this point seemed to involve setting a series of small spot fires in his backyard - they really, really liked to burn stuff. He then set about showing me how to imbibe a 'tequila suicide' which, if I recall, involved rubbing citric acid on one's EYEBALL and then slugging back a lethal-sized dose of tequila.
21st birthdays are memorable, milestone occasions and S's was no different. He got lots of nice gifts, some weed and some tequila, a medium-to-heavily charred backyard, temporary blindness and 8 months loss of his license. Top night.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:24, 5 replies)

French fancy...
I met my mate on MySpace (yes, I know...) Dodgy singing, even dodgier pictures of him in his underwear, but nevertheless got chatting due to our mutual love of ethnic stylee music. FF approx 5 years, and he's one of my best mates. He lives in France, but we "chat" every day and meet up a couple of times a year when either he & his girlf come to stay with me, or I go to stay with them. If I'd gone by first impressions, I'd have run a mile. I'm v glad I didn't. He's odd (have you ever seen a French punk?) but he's lovely. Sorry it's not got more drugs or sex, but due to Frenchness there is croissant.
( parttimebabe is almost there..., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:06, 4 replies)

F
I
R
S
T
!
(PR1CKBOT IS ONLINE, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:03, 3 replies)

First time on the internet- aged 12
I joined a forum on a kid's website and started chatting to someone who I thought was a guy.

After a few weeks they asked me if I thought it was weird that they liked girls- I said of course not. We kept chatting.

A few weeks later they thanked me for giving them the courage to tell their parents they were gay. They sent me a charm bracelet in the mail, which I still wear, and 10 years later I still hear from them.

I would have said I was fine with it either way, if I'd known they were a girl at the start... but it just stuns me that, because the internet is so anonymous, something that could so easily have been an oversight helped someone make such a momentous choice.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:03, 6 replies)

I once met
Tim Berners-Lee. Nice bloke.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:58, 3 replies)

Cos my mrs is one of them forrin immigrants
She likes to tell people that she only married me for my passport.

So I say she was a mail-order bride that I bought on the internet.
"Actually, I found her on eBay", I like to tell them.

It's amazing how many people believe it...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:23, 12 replies)

An American millionnairre who hosts parties for the messageboard on a regular basis.
I turned up to a couple in London - lovely - a free bar and food.

Then he told me he was having one in Las Vegas - would Mrs V and I like to attend?

I told him that was kind of him, but was a little out of our range.

He asked for my address, and a couple of aeroplane tickets turned up.

We were taken from Vegas airport to the hotel by limo, where we were instructed to go in through the VIP entrance.

Mrs V and I had our own full suite, featuring two bedrooms, three jacuzzis, two showers, five sinks and a bar.

We were instructed not to pay for anything at all, and to put it all on his bill.

There were 14 of us in total, and we stayed there for a week.

Which was nice.

You couldn't possibly begin to comprehend the size of my croissant.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:22, 10 replies)

It all started with an email.
It didn't seem all that romantic at first, just someone looking for help. Doctor Robert Akpabio contacted me about helping him with a wealthy patient whose family had moved to the states but there was a problem in getting money out to them. I was struck by his kindness. In further emails he stressed that he wanted none of the money and was just worried about his pateint, I also found the spelling errors endearing, and stressed that he was a real Doctor.

We have been emailing regularly for many months, I had to send him some money to keep his broadband active (I never knew there was such a problem with the service in Nigeria, did you?) and thankfully we have been chatting quite a bit. He sent me his photo and is the DOUBLE of Wesley Snipes (phwoar right?!?!?).

I've booked my plane tickets and fly out next week. We'll be able to help his patient too, whom I get to meet and hopefully we can sort out this mess with the bank. I'm not that bothered about money but I've been promised $10 mil! The exchange rate isn't what it once was but this should buy me and Robert a nice new life.

He hinted that he might like to marry me, OMG I'M SO EXCITED.

Thanks for reading this, wish me luck.
xx
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:19, 3 replies)

She wrote in comic-sans and had the sweetest disposition of not being able to spell most words correctly.
I met her in a Yahoo chatroom in 2002 and we would often stay up late, talking for hours. Whenever the chat-box opened on my screen with caligirl1988 I would go weak at the knees. She made my life worth living.

Over the next few weeks we talked about the films and cartoons she liked, the kids in her class who poke fun at her lisp and how she disliked them and also the possibility of meeting up one day.

At first she was reluctant, saying she was worried about what her parents might think but I comforted her and said that it wasn't important what they thought as long as we were happy. She finally plucked up enough courage to agree to meet me. In early 2003 I met caligirl1988 in the woods for a picnic, under the condition that I would drop her back at home before sun-down. It was a picture perfect afternoon as I wooed my comic-sans beauty, in a setting that would take her breath away.

I often gaze through these bars into the outside world and wonder what could have been for me and caligirl1988.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:00, 4 replies)

FIRST!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:58, 6 replies)

The year: 2003. The season: Autumn. The place: my dining room.
The first time we had INTERNET (yes, real internet!) and I was allowed on. I was fifteen. I had MSN. My father had told me only to talk to people I knew. Again, I was fifteen. I messaged EVERYONE.

One of them was a teenage boy from Yorkshire, just older than myself. I liked him because he knew how to put lines through his text, which was pretty spiffy. It didn't take long before I was besotted, and for good reason. He was kind, funny, attractive and he called me cute *with* my glasses on. Two years later we met in Glasgow Central. I almost fell over. My sister had to come with me just so she could make sure I'd stay upright. It is the closest I have ever been to fainting and I damned nearly called it off I was so scared. We spent the rest of the day either sitting in shy quietness or talking about Harry Potter of all things. Then I hugged his knee.

Six and a bit years later he's mass-job hunting and we're saving so we can finally live together. Except I spend most of my wages on train tickets because I can't go more than a few weeks without seeing him.

Meeting people on the internet: It can be good. Very, very good!
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:44, 16 replies)

Facebook
long story short
Sent a msg to a girl on face book
we met up for a summer fling
4 years later i am now married to her and living and working in bermuda
(Bermuda_import Beach party this weekend, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:38, 3 replies)

What happens at these do's when Legless proposes a toast?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:34, 14 replies)

I mean, is that what you do when you go to bashes?
Do you run into the Wetherspoons in your wakiest hat shouting "FIRST", just sort of hoping for the best?

No offence or anything, but you should probably just kill yourself.
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:31, 11 replies)

FIRST

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:30, 2 replies)