Subtle Signs
I knew it was over when I told the boss he was a fu*king wanker in front of a television camera. Apparantly the nightclub i worked at for one night whilst at college had some shite called clubland tv or something visiting. I'd had enough of the crap music and decided to skieve off and sit with my mates when the boss tried to assert his authority - cue me being escorted off the premises and the tossbag asking for the company shirt back - I obliged ripping it off and handing it to him. I then realised I didn't have an alternative shirt. Bugger.

No QotW could ever live up to last weeks awesome one.
(Jock McTavish, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 11:00, Reply)

I knew it was over when
her eyes cleared and she asked "who are you and where am I?"

I knew I should have slipped her 2 rohypnol.
(Mong-the-Merciful, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 10:57, Reply)

I knew it was over...

....when I run out of shaving cream. It was only a matter of time before the yankee infidel skum would find me in my garden bunker.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 10:47, Reply)

i knew it was all over when
I put chilli on my cock before shagging a bouncer.

in an ice-cream van.


:|
(nappy rash, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 10:46, Reply)

Easy
When we made it to the bedroom, he pulled down his pants and revealed that he was in fact a she, and this was the only left to be changed to a man. Told him/her i had to think about it over a cigarette outside and have now changed my mobile number and address.
(boogiemonster, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 10:36, Reply)

I knew it was over when....
1 - Jar-Jar Binks appeared on the screen and said "me-sa". I knew then that my love of Star Wars was gone forever.
2 - I couldn't be arsed getting up for work at BK on time so toddled in late to find fire engines outside the store. Someone tried to do my (highly skilled, honest!) job, couldn't o manage it, and set all the oil vats on fire. Suffice to say, I knew I wasn't going to be getting that notoriously difficult 5th star, and my career with them was over.

Come of folks, cheer up! We've all got each other, a predilection to drinking too much, and it's the weekend!
( gadjie, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 10:30, Reply)

i knew it was over
when the young indian fellow put down his rucksack and started running away
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 10:28, Reply)

It was time to shitcan the bitch when.......
She proclaimed in her best "poor little me" voice that "My daddy once had to work shifts to make ends meet", now I'm no class warrior by any stretch of the imagination but coming from a working class family in the north of England it was clearly unacceptable to belm this at me in a bar, cue me finishing my pint, going for a piss and not coming back!
(B3atMessiah, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 9:57, Reply)

I knew it was over when
i accidently text her best friend, informing her that i was sneaking away at the weekend to pork my ex.
(Slinkachuu, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 9:27, Reply)

It was all over....
when I realised she was cheating on me with my cousin AND my music teacher, often while I was downstairs, oblivious to the horrors being perpetuated above my head.

Mind you, I did go back out with her....
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 9:22, Reply)

It was the end...
...when: We went out for dinner and he did not:
A)place his napkin in his lap as one should
B)know how to hold a fork
c)bitched that he had to brush his teeth before we went out because "we're just going out to eat, I'm going to get them dirty again!" EWWW

And then bitched that I was a snob because I insisted on table manners and personal hygiene. To make matters worse, when I told him to leave, he bitched (and this is an exact quote) "I bathed for YOU! I wore deodorant for YOU!"

Whoa, buddy, we're just barely covering the basics here. *sigh* The feral dog in my neighbourhood takes better care of himself, I'm sure. :/
(darkmage, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 9:18, Reply)

You know it's all over
when you hear the words "'Till death do us part" and you think "Awwww Fuck!"
(The real vlad the impala, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 9:04, Reply)

I knew it was all over ...
...when Goebbels knocked on the door to tell me the Russians were outside the bunker. That really sucked.
(mudskipper, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 8:42, Reply)

5 stories of "I knew it was over ..."
1) after overlooking the overly large, jutting eyes and bad teeth, cocaine habit, confessions of faked pregnancies just to extort money for faked abortions from ex-bfs, and generally bitchy personality, I could not get past the fact that she needed a vibrator to get off and was addicted to it...

2) when plump, beer swilling, musical soundtrack-loving wench had a hiccup attack in the pub and the hiccups came out a sort of a loud burping noise....

3) when she left me for her cousin (5th, but still) in Toronto - I knew there was something strange when I saw them together at the family reunion...

4) when I pulled up in my car full of my stuff to move in and was waiting in the house for her to come home, when she pulls up in a strange car and after watching out the window with her talking through the car window to a shadowy figure the car drives away and she comes in and I ask her "who was that" and she says it was none of my business....

5) when I decided I would be totally honest and never lie to her, and after watching her stage performance with her best friend told her that I thought it was overlong and pretentious (it was, sorry) and she just stared at me with the most hurt expression and I wanted to die right then because I really did love her more than anything, but I discovered too late that it's ALWAYS better to lie...

Am happily married now, but still making mistakes. Honey forgive me but I've had a bad track record...
(Skipthewhip, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 8:32, Reply)

mufin_man
What language is that then? (I feel like the idiot tourist of some weeks back....)
(InfiniteZenMaster, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 8:23, Reply)

I knew it was well and truly over when...
...my girlfriend turned up in her mums car along with the girl from work that I had also started to see on the side.

Never found out how they found aout about eachother, and never underestimated the investigative skills of women since!

PS it was also truly over for my nose!
(downhill without brakes . It was the worst day of my life, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 8:13, Reply)

i knew my work here was done....
....at 5:30 every friday!
(chives, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 7:47, Reply)

Where do I find these people? (Part Deux)
Local girl this time, gothic-model type, very very sexy, all the fun of the fair. Two minor problems are apparent, though, 1) she's got scars all over her arms from self-harming 2) she's a bloody junkie. Fun and games still ensue. Now, over the next few months, here is what occurs:

- I discover that far from being over her self-harming problem, she has a blood/pain/demeanance fetish. She does this stuff for FUN.
- Is one discovered self-harm away from being sectioned as she's a danger to herself, and her schizophrenic mother is in no position to care for her.
- Her drug problem is only getting worse and;
- Her sexual fantasies involved barbed wire, psuedo-rape and enough other nastiness to make a hardcore BDSM'er blush.

However, I didn't quite know it was over until she ran back off with a chav, got engaged, and claims her life is horrible but refuses to do anything about it. She's still going to marry the cunt, despite the fact im constantly bombarded with txts saying she misses me and how her life is awful. That's when I'll know it's over.

Though the time in mid-particularly intimate session she pulled out a pair of scissors and slashed her own arm in an attempt to turn me on may have been a clue, too.

Bloody chavs.
( Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 7:40, Reply)

Where do I find these people? (Part I)
Pulled a girl from the dark depths of southern England. On my first venture down there, I couldn't find the place where she lived, it was completely unmarked, despite being a fair size town, and I got lost at least four times in tiny villages along the way.
Should have seen it as an omen, really.

- Got together because my mate had chucked her and I felt sorry for her. Within an hour of friendly conversation, she declared she loved me. Being young and naive, I thought this was only weird in a good way.
- We argued, on average (I've worked it out), once every two days during the whole 3-month debacle. About anything and everything.
- I discovered her planning to shag the most irritating twat I know, despite declaring undying love for me near-continuously (in between arguments).
- She accused me of first plotting to run off with a female friend of mine because I dared go shopping with her, and then of plotting to run off with her best friend because I'd talked to her once.
- Then when I was with her she attempted to chat up another guy about 3ft in front of me. Who was 10 years older than her. And a fucking postman. Did I know it was over then? Sort of, but nothing 2 years of pining that I know is hopelessly irrational hasn't managed to wear down. Last I heard she was bonking some guy of about 35 (she's 18) in a council flat somewhere in the bowels of Kent.
Scarily, I'm pretty sure I'd still take her back if she asked. This was 2 years ago.

I hate me. and postmen.
( Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 7:33, Reply)

I met a girl at Uni...
..she already had a boyfriend, but she assured me that he meant nothing to her anymore and that when we got back, she was going to dump him (I was young....er). At any rate, tried to keep up through phone/e-mail/etc when one night , while listening to her rant on about some crap book she was writing (I dare say), she launches into a description of how she blew him the previous night.
Needless to say, it was over that night. And hey, I got so smashed the next night, that I had an unfortunate run-in with a grossly large (and not drunk, mind you) heifer, which in turn led me to my current g/f. So hey, I guess it turned out all right!
OOooOO, almost forgot! I knew it was over between her and him when he shipped off to Iraq. HA!
(junkbot85, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 7:15, Reply)

i never learn
i knew the tenuous relationship with my web hosting reseller was over when for the third time in as many months, the main company suspended his accounts (including mine) because he didn't pay his bill (using my money).

but have i learnt anything?
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 4:27, Reply)

Dammit
When I was 17 I needed somewhere to live, and my 16yr old catholic girlfriend's lovely parents let me crash in their spare room.

2 weeks later I had to sit in the car outside the family planning while her mum put her on the pill. 3 days later the living room had 3 nuns talking loudly about "living in sin".

That was enough..
(FiftyFour, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 2:29, Reply)

I knew it was over when
he finally stopped struggling
(visceralvixen, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 1:44, Reply)

Tch! Students.....
Sat in the college foyer with my mate, whining about not knowing whether I wanna see this girl any more. As I spoke of the Devil she walked up the steps and knelt beside me, to the glee of my friend who rather eloquently declared:

"Ruth, you're dumped!"

Her wry smile (did she know something I didn't??) and the way she said "Right" as she walked off meant I just had to go after her and explain, which was a mistake because just as I was catching up with her outside she got hit in the arse really, really, hard by a football. I didn't even have the balls to laugh in her face as I turned, walked off and split the proverbial side.

Turns out that my friend, who took great pleasure in ditching her for me, made himself known to be Bi, and more than curious. Shame he chose to do it as we crashed at my mum's house after a night out. That just about convinced me that this friendship was over too (I swear I never knew before!).

And yes, I'm still intact thank you very much.
(Filthy Rich, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 0:39, Reply)

I knew it was over
hooray
(weedom, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 0:38, Reply)

When those ...
Pesky kids and their dog turned up at my haunted amusement park.
(Chance1234 up for parole on, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 0:34, Reply)

DamoUK - I've also worked for the chemist
And while I was there they did a special promotion - if you bought two products from the dental range you got a free travel alarm clock. Cue pretty girl at the till, clutching two toothbrushes and before you know it, I've offered her a free cock.

Didn't lose the job though, not even when they caught me sleeping in the warehouse...
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 22 Jul 2005, 0:28, Reply)

Those were the days
I was in Thailand once and was having a few stomach problems. I thought it had passed and went into town to find me an LBFM (little brown fucking machine) Found a nice clean one quite quickly and soon after I was giving her a damn good seeing to. Almost at the crucial moment I sensed seepage which was followed by a massive detonation of the stinky brown squirts. You may assume that was that as far as the shag goes.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 22 Jul 2005, 0:28, Reply)