Purple Acky
To Del Torro the arrogant...I'm from Runcorn and we used to threaten each other with the prospect of being kidnapped by Mr Acky. For some reason, the rumour was that he carved P and A on your buttocks...maybe that was just us. This was about 10 years ago though, had no idea the legend spread so far.
(Dumb dumb, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:55, Reply)

Eddie in Southampton
There was a wino nutter in Southampton 10 years ago called Eddie who was fairly run of the mill as far as pissed nutters go. However there was a local urban myth that he was the heir to a small fortune. The story goes that he inherited a shit load of money, went on a bit of a bender and never came back. His sister lived in Winchester who would occasionally take him in, sober him up, give him a wash and a clean set of clothes and send him back out again after a couple of days.

I don't know how true this was, but once a month he did go missing for a few days only to turn up later with a brand new sheepskin coat, clean clothes and a brand new Fosters cap.

I once saw him walking along the hard shoulder of the M3 heading north...presumeably to Winchester....?
(Pearly Pearl, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:55, Reply)

burping ron
burping ron is the local tramp legend in Winchester. he must be pushing seventy, has a massive father christmas beard and smells quite foul. he can almost always be found with pushchair full of random trampy accesories, and burps at anyone who comes within a five meter radius (hence the name). mumbles incoherently and like all good tramp legends is meant to be very wealthy.
(slothman, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:51, Reply)

I'm sure some of these have been done but...
...oh well.
I go to 6th form in a town called Witney, and occasionaly we glimpse a bloke dubbed variously as "Hotpants Man" or "That Wierd Alchy Bloke". He's about 50 looking, with crazy white hair, and can be found wondering around dressed in shiney blue hotpants and a leapard print waist coat (undone, with nothing underneath) regardless of the weather. He's also ussualy got at least one bottle of spirits on him. He enjoys sitting near bus stops waving cheerily with his bottle and giving people thumbs-up. Last time I saw him he was shooting passengers on a passing bus with his fingers in a good natured sort of way.
That was a few monthes ago... maybe the heavy rain killed him.

A few people have already mentioned "Colonal Mustard" who enjoys "dancing" on the streets of Oxford with his big hat. A while back a mate had a similer floppy top hat (a Guinness one, no less) and so decided to join in the dancing. The Colonal seemed pretty pleased.

One time me and some mates were hanging around in the Westgate shopping centre in Oxford and a tramp-looking old bloke wondered past, and said something which sounded like "mnar phrump ta da da gog?" to which I wisely replied "urh?". He didn't seem to notice, and procided to walk past the rest of us (we were slouching on a wall) muttering similer questions to them as well, before ambling away.

A while back at work (I'm a shelf stacker at Somerfield - woo!) a mid-40s looking woman started alternatively commenting on the designs on the bean cans, and musing at if the price was fair. There was a bloke stood next to her so I pressumed he was a relative/friend/hubby who was belatadly putting up with the bollocks-talk. However, she then walked off, still muttering, and the bloke turned to give me a "What the fuck was that all about?" type look.

Once while on the way to a gig at the Zodiac down Cowley Road, me and some friends passed (at a wary distance) a man wearing a bright green and yellow pixie-looking suit (complete with zig zagged tunic) and what appeared to be flower in his hair. After passing him we sped up considerably.

After a night out once we were all getting the bus back (double decker stagecoach) and an old alchy/tramp type was sat at the back, loudly talking away about everything and nothing, and declaring how "shite! fuckin' shite!" everything was. When he got off the bus, he gave every person he passed a drunkenly slurred "burbhye!" so one of my friends replied with a similarly slurred "noice meetin' ya matey!" which he didn't take very kindly to. He was still mumbling and swearing at her as he got off the bus and it pulled away. Thank fuck he didn't get back on.

Finally, theres a bus driver (we recently discovered his name is Barry) who seems to have some deep hatred of students/old people/anyone with a bus pass as whenever we get on the bus and show him our passes, he pulls a revolted looking face and looks out of the window instead, where he continues looking untill anyone with a pass has gone by. A mate once decided to stand there until he looked at her (which he didnt) before shouting "hellooooo?" at him, which earned her a split second glance.
How this man still has a job I'll never know.

Oh yeah, first time poster, long time lurker :p
(Anonymous Coward, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:49, Reply)

Re:Purple Acky
The purple acky thing has made it to Australia!!When i was 6(i think) I was told of Purple Acky and that if i was bad and went out after dark i would be 'gotten'.I did'nt to the shops after 3:00 until a year later.

Edit:may have been purple something else but i'm pretty sure it was purple acky.
(That guy with a hat., Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:42, Reply)

jukebox johnny
mentalist that roams about Hamilton, nr Glasgow.
has been known to walk up and down long avenues banging a big drum and singing songs.
(i am blip don't trust bono; he's a wank, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:31, Reply)

Jesus. Where To start.
I grew up in the Mill Road area of Cambridge, which will, no doubt, be the most of the nutters posted here.
As a brief summary of the ones I remember:
Barmy Art - Wears things on his head
Bonnie (RIP) - Used to scream like a banshee at children, causing my friend to wet himself once...always had a shopping trolley.
Tree Man - Often to be found on my street standing in people's gardens shouting at their trees to stop trespassing
The Cowboy - Used to cycle around dressed in cowboy outfit. Could occasionally be heard to shout yeeehhaaa!
Scary Deaf Bloke - A deaf & dumb chap that in his attempts to blag your hard-earned, merely terrifies you with his deparate mumbling and lurching gait...
more to come as I remember them
(pseudosocrates, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:26, Reply)

Additionally in cardy
Some wierd bloke was in the paper for writing on his house. He'd been having a grievance with the council over said house for 37 years or something. In response he spent all his time writing on the outside walls, and when the walls were full, boarded up the windows and wrote on those. In the end the council ripped all his signs down because they still owned the house, probably the cause of the original grievance.
(nonproffessional, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:26, Reply)

YAY for Toy Mike Trevor
and also for mr strange-guy-in-wheelchair-with-keyboard-outside-burgerking.

I once caught a rare glance of another old gentleman walking down the middle of the road near Toyz-R-Us. He was shouting "I'm not dead yet!". Haven't seen him since that one time, my thought is he is in fact dead now, probably run over for walking down the middle of roads.

BTW, Toy Mike Trevor can really attract crowds of two, sometimes three old ladies at once! They positively swoon over him. Awww, bless.
(nonproffessional, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:21, Reply)

Leeds in 1999- 2001....
.... and possibly up to present day. Some old chap who used to frequent Brannigans, Uropa and more recently Evolution. Seemed to be some kind of local 4th rate celebrity by the name of 'John Stud' (?), handing out 'Champagne' (Lambrini) prizes to students.

Novelty value at first to see a smartly-dressed man of 70+ dancing to the likes of Five and ATB (he had this unusual dance on putting one foot behind the other and tap dancing!).

In the end he was just plain annoying- how the fuck could he afford to go out more than me on a state pension? Or maybe I was just bitter as he was better with the freshers than me!

Anyone met him?

My word- I've met some wierdo's over the years
(dogger collymore, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:14, Reply)

Northampton
There are plenty of nutters in Northampton - the most famous one is a woman who wanders the main street and approaches EVERYONE and syas (in broken English) "You spare one pound?". If she doesnt have time to speak to people who practically break into a sprint to get past her quickly, she waves and says hi in her weird accent. Friend of mine claims to have seen her take a dump in the middle of the market square in front of everyone. I dont think she has had a bath or even changed her clothes in over 20 years. Havnt seen her in the last 6 months thank god!

The 'tramp hangout' is the monument near the Pennywhistle/Punch and Judy, all the weirdo's hand out there. Although once when walking through there they called out to me (in their practised street begger accent) "Excuse me mate, can you spare us fifty thoushand quid!" I had to laugh at that one.
(Fubear, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:11, Reply)

we also have a morton harkett lookalike
that is about 6'8" ish and has to shake everyone's hand, if he starts to talk to you in the pub, he'll try to do a 'magic' trick for you, he takes a £5 note, folds it so it will stand up on a table, he looks really pleased with himself, they blows it over, and wonders why no-one is clapping
(mountainloz i want a bulldog/Shih Tzu cross breed, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:08, Reply)

The Elvis of Reading
Elvis is a well known character around Reading. A bizarre mix of pre-Army Elvis in fat old Elvis's clothes, he can usually be seen hanging around the town centre wearing a cape, and will launch into a hip-swingin' rendition of any of The King's hits on request.

I have been particularly impressed by performances of Blue Suede Shoes in WH Smiths, and when I worked at the Dole Office many years ago he drew applause - but no offers of actual work - for a rendition of Hound Dog.

Bless him, he's a touch simple and he's been unemployed and unemployable for years with the smile of an innocent that knows not what he is doing.

Edit: Uri Geller lives near Reading too. Does he count?
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:06, Reply)

Didsbury again...
... some odd chap who comes up and starts talking to you in a pub (often the Hogshead) then sings to you with a full pint balanced on his head. He then bends his knees (i.e. crouchind to standing) still with the pint on his head. He also does proper shit impressions and silly voices.

When he first did this to us I was quite impressed. It became tiresome after every Friday and Saturday night for a year. He got his comeuppance however, being dragged out of the Hogshead by the doorman for the offence- hooray!
(dogger collymore, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 17:04, Reply)

wolverhampton
as another wolverhamptoner, i can safely confirm that the polish war veteran is still there. he has since been offered a house (which he refused, he doesn't like being inside buildings) and apparently a woman brings him an egg mcmuffin every morning.
the current local celebrity is the cowboy - a tall guy in jeans and a stetson. he wonders round telling all the young ladies to get their trousers off and wear tennis skirts. additionally, if you shout YEE HAW! he will chase you - through the busy town centre - and chases have been known to go on for up to and over five minutes.

might grace you with some photos tomorrow
(tramp boy, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:57, Reply)

PRON!
The Local tramp seems to live in the one-stop along the main road near my house. Once inside with a friend about to buy some food. suprised he was not in there for once. he stubbled in the doorway, mumbling to himself. walks up to the magizine section looking straight up at the porn not trying to be sly or anything and lets out a strange sexual sounding UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! at this point the person behind the till hit the security button under the desk and a guard escorted him outside he then went and sat on a small wall outside staring at the porn through the window.
also as you walk past him in the street he tends to chant "berries, Berries, BERRIES!" which is always a good laugh
(Sparky The Loveable Goldfish, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:50, Reply)

Cambridge bin busker

Plies his trade round the corner from my house.

www.urban75.org/photos/cambridge/cam12.html

Additionally, we used to have a guy on Mill Road that wandered round everyday with stuff sellotaped to his head. Best I saw was him wearing a partially defrosted chicken.
(fixit, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:50, Reply)

sweaty pig man
-as my husband calls him- is based on the number 9 bus out of birmingham around 5.30pm on weeknights. he is heading towards 60 and is very greasy looking and has an air of creepiness. he wears a horrible brown matalan leather jacket in a vain attempt to look "hip" and makes a great show of reading smash hits magazine and wittering on at random about chart music. if he gets anyone's attention he loudly explains in monologue to them how he has lots of "young friends" who think he is "cool" and how he has met kylie/britney/busted backstage and can "GET YOU IN" at their next gig. hes affectionately known to us as sweaty pig man as he is a sweaty, piglike man, much like a classic news of the world front page kiddie fiddler..
( nbby notkins, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:49, Reply)

More Manchester
Not spotted for a few months:
The bad Northern Soul Dancer on his knackered bit of plywood
(Fully Goyle what?, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:48, Reply)

"magical" toy mike trevor
Still standing outside Boots as we speak. By the way, whatever happened to that other bloke who used to sing along to a little casio organ in a wheelchair ( the bloke, not the organ). The tune and the words were never quite from the same song. Haven't seen him for yonks.
(sandman0733, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:46, Reply)

st.annes
used to have a bloke who walked everywhere with a small radio next to his ear, and a small white dog.
if anyone tried to stroke the dog he'd go nuts and start shouting "It's MY dog!...It's MY dog!...It's MY dog!...mmmnnnnnngngngnnnnn"
so we named him 'mr mydog'
(mountainloz i want a bulldog/Shih Tzu cross breed, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:41, Reply)

Rainbow John
This fellow can be seen around most of Sussex i believe as I've seen him on the train more than once. He dresses in reflective shiny material (like tinfoil but not as crinkly) and hands out leaflets. One day we took as many as we could to read them and they were filled with propaganda about 'Benjamin Creme' and the mysterious Mataria (could be spelled wrong, look in the personal ads in the Guardian and you'll see stuff about this..honest)There was also a story about him meeting Jesus in a tea shop in Bognor. We ran round him once with cameras and created quite a pleasing matrix style video of him looking confused at us. And of course Chicken George of Worcester (my home town) He was allegdly very rich (aren'tthey all?) and would dance by buskers. If you told him the japs were coming he would chase you with his stick.
(Man Worm, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:38, Reply)

blackpool
does have more than it's fair share of nutters at any given time, but people that travel miles and miles to see a bunch of coloured lightbulbs flickering on and off???? i ask you!?


are you from round here then kirstickle?
(mountainloz i want a bulldog/Shih Tzu cross breed, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:37, Reply)

toy mike trev
He is very much the man!!!! Tom jones blatently nicked his style! bloody tea leaf!
(asil-b, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:37, Reply)

Talks-to-herself-on-the-bus woman
Eh-up,
Often saw a middle-aged woman, clearly deranged, who constantly and mostly unintelligably talked to herself. This was generally on the bus to school. Once noticed that another woman thought that that she was talking to her, when she was clearly talking to Mr Invisible sat next to her. So, there she was, replying "Hmm" and "Oh" etc etc to the nutteress while everyone else on the bus was cracking up. How the none-mad woman failed to notice this still amazes me.
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:36, Reply)

woo woo wooooo delilah...
In cardiff we have Toy Mike Trevor - without fail he loiters in doorways singing Tom Jones tracks into a little yellow plastic mike. He is so cool even radio one have played his dulcet tones.. Go Trev!
(daftmoo, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:33, Reply)

Another...
There's also lad in my village that has been spotted walking around outside the pub and chip shop wearing only his boxers...
(webdw, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:33, Reply)

Do spacks class as nutters?
I follow the 'SPECIAL BUS' on the way into work in my van, with its average cabbage laden speed of about 15-20mph I try and overtake at any given chance. I have noticed for some time before some spacker wearing a crash helmet, and normally observe him whacking his head on the window.
Come one day I see same spacker smacking his head on the window and suddenly the window falls from the bus and smashes! spacker then throws up all outside window all over a group of chavs! who were pissing themselves laughing as the Spack carrier stops to let someone off who was having a spack attack. Wiped the smiles off their scumbag faces...
( Goriath, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:27, Reply)

Hooray!
Kirstikle, et al:
THANK YOU ALL!
I'm so glad to hear that one of my all-time favourite loonies is still in operation!
(doctor sideburns, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:27, Reply)

Dog Rucksack
Just remembered another Blackpool crazy - The Man Who Wears His Alsation On His Back Like A Rucksack. Honest.
(kirstickle, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:24, Reply)