Back when I lived in the Midlands in my late teens
I'd often nip out to the local park to stretch my legs and have a cigarette. There was a lad a couple of years younger than me who'd often be about and we got to chatting. He told me how his older brother and all his mates were in the NF and how he was planning to get himself an NF tattoo as soon as he turned 18. I did my best to dissuade him from this course of action, but he had his heart set on it.

One time I saw him when he was hanging out with a mate of about the same age, who was black. They came over and said hello, and we got to chatting about tattoos again as I'd just had my first one done. Again, he reiterated that his first tattoo would be an "N..." then caught himself in time, looked at me and said somewhat sheepishly, "an N tattoo".

There was some serious cognitive dissonance going on there. I didn't see him much after that and I never found out whether he eventually got his tattoo but I hope the fact that he couldn't even say it out loud in front of his friend at least made him think about it.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Rural Racism
Some years ago I was with a group visiting a prep school in Lincolnshire. It has an interesting logo: a red and white matrix with a red circle on white above it. We were interested in this, and asked a member of staff what it meant.

"It was that little boy" we were told. "About thirty years ago. He climbed over a wall to get his ball (hence the logo), but the house was owned by Jews, so they killed him like Jews do and threw his body down a well." We were so shocked by this that we asked another member of staff and got almost precisely the same reply: little boy, ball, wall, Jews, dead.

After a bit of investigation, this turned out to be a version of the story of Little St Hugh of Lincoln, a child whose death - not at the hand of Jews - in 1255 was used as an excuse for a classic blood libel and a pogrom against the Jews of Lincoln. There has been a formal expression of regret for the whole horrible business in Lincoln Cathedral for almost sixty years, and yet the school still sees fit to celebrate and perpetuate an anti-semitic myth. I don't find that funny at all - I find it creepy and disturbing.


(ubergeekian, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:00, 4 replies)

grandmas
my grandma was the nicest, sweetest little old lady, about 4'11" of cooking and grandchild spoiling. she let local kids play football in her garden without bashing at the window with a stick, she was kind and patient, loved her family, had lots of friends, went to church every week, and she was passionate about cricket. but then she'd reveal these shocking and unsuspected pockets of bigotry.

"it's such a shame the word 'gay' has been stolen," she'd lament. "it used to be such a lovely word." utterly oblivious to the fact that her own brother was screamingly gay.

in later life she had to spend every friday in a hospital group. one day she got into all kinds of trouble. when we asked what on earth she had done, her jaw stuck out mutinously.

"i don't see why i can't call them 'pakis'" she said. "they ARE pakis."

i guess it's a generational thing, but you've got a brain, there's simply no excuse for not using it. it was the only thing we ever argued about.

meanwhile my friend ashley was once taking his grandmother, a tiny delicate 90 year old lady, around sainsburys. in the fruit section, he asked her if she wanted any watermelon. she blinked at him.

"good lord no," she said loudly. far too loudly. "you need a mouth like a nigger to eat one of those."

shame she's long since dead, as he's now out of the closet and dating a black guy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 10:15, Reply)

LOL bigots? Not really.
I saw a documentary about dienfrancised yoof in Hackney.

A 14yo girl, having done extensive research, had - intelligently and unbiasedly - come to the conclusion that the Jews were the problem.

Cue footage of her sitting with her mate on a wall opposite a synagogue, screaming at the Jews going into the service, "I 'ate you fuckin' Jews! I fuckin' 'ate you cunts I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill all of you! I'm gonna be like that ... like that ... that bloke ... what killed all the Jews ... in that war an' that! I'm gonna ... "

A 10-watt lightbulb went on in her friend's head, "What ... Hitler?" she said slowly.

"THASS IT!" screamed our subject, "I'm gonna be like that Hitler! An' kill all the Jews!"

It was one of the most singular most depressing documentaries I've ever seen.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 9:00, 1 reply)

Drunken conversation with a couple of mates around 1am
one of whom - Beth - was mixed race.

Paul: "What's brown and sticky?"
Me: "A stick?"
Paul: "No, Beth covered in cum."
Beth: "I'm not brown. I'm BLACK."
Paul: "Alright, what's black and sticky?"
Me: "Beth covered in cum?"
Paul: "No, tar."

Apologies for length and the fact that it's not very funny, fuck off it's early.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 8:10, 2 replies)

Srlsy? No-one's come up with it yet?
Blue Eyed.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 28 Feb 2013, 4:59, 2 replies)

Back in the age of the dinosaurs -
I shared a big flat with Paul K and Gordon I. Paul captained one of the local amateur Rugby League teams. One of the players dropped in one Saturday afternoon, a young aboriginal man named Andrew. Something about the game the following weekend.

After a while we decided to go to the Oasis Hotel for a game of darts and a few beers. As we rounded a corner, a few aboriginal blokes on the other side of the street called out to Andrew to come and join them. He refused.

"You're not gong to go with them" Paul asked Andrew.

"Nah, not likely, they're just a mob of bloody boongs."
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 0:44, Reply)

My Mate Don..
Joined one Her Majesty's frigates in the late 70's, early 80's.
He was directed to his messdeck where he gave the usual hail, "Below!".
It should be noted that entry to the mess in an RN Ship is effected through a hatch and down a ladder to the deck, er, below.
"Uptop" came the traditional riposte.
"You got any niggers down there?" asked Don.
"No" came the reply.
"You fucking well have now!" said Don as he threw his kitbag down the hatch.

Okay it's a sort of reverse racism but seems to fit the QOTW.
(Docofair, Wed 27 Feb 2013, 23:02, 1 reply)

You could debate the theory propounded by Howard Jacobson
that racialism is just a vehicle for violence and is propagated solely to incite same.
Me, I can't be arsed, I'm off to bed.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 27 Feb 2013, 22:59, Reply)