i've
just started seeing this girl that i really like. she met my folks yesterday. for some reason, my sister (yes, sister) decided to start farting rampantly in front of her.

i thought that blokes were meant to be the ones that were bad for that sort of thing...
( nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Sat 21 May 2005, 20:13, Reply)

And I never even knew!!!!
When I was younger and used to hang around in a big group of friends male and female alike.

One guy D was living with his folks and quite regular a few of us would go round to his house for Sunday dinner.

I found out much later that all theese times we`d been going round to his house for Sunday dinners he`d been telling his mum I was his girlfriend???

Explains why she was always so interested in talking especially to me and what at the time seemed a very strange conversation with a friend of his mums!!
(Smumps, Sat 21 May 2005, 19:46, Reply)

oh the joys
Meeting my gf's parents. All went well with her mother, though I was introduced as a 'close friend' (telling her mother she was gay was something she didn't want to do. fairy nuff.) we got on well, and me and the missus disappeared upstairs for a drink.
After getting thoroughly plastered, we went downstairs to listen to music. Much writhing round on the kitchen floor giggling, til her dad came in.
M'lady decided it was time for me to meet him. We walked in, and she loudly announced that I was her lesbian lover. Awkwardness ensued.
We talked. She left the room.

'So, you've been shagging my daughter then?'

Fortunately he was also drunk and had forgotten all about it the next day.
(sporky, Sat 21 May 2005, 19:12, Reply)

Ever wanted to eat your own head?
this made me cringe when i heard it...

happened to friend of mine. he went over to an old friends house, a girl who he hadnt seen for a few years, to catch up etc.

anyway, she has 3 sisters all of whom have behavioural conditions. one has ADHD, the others i dont know. i think on of them is assburgers.

the mum and the girls are at the table with my mate chatting away waiting for his housemate who was driving over to pick him up.

When arrives, he accepts the cup of tea he's offered and sit down at the table. and says:


Right,so who has what again?
(Mr Moo Cow - HairyBeef, Sat 21 May 2005, 18:09, Reply)

Good girl Tessie
First time Mrs YC met my parents she was sitting on the floor, back against the door. My german shepherd took and instant shine to her, walked up to her and started to hump her side.

Bearing in mind Tessie is a girl, me and my dad were useless, crying with laughter, Mrs YC looked terrified pinned to the door, and mother shouting at dad...

"jack , jack, Jack, Jack, JACK, JACK......."

I miss Tessie... She loved McNuggets or half my kebab, another story.
(Yellow Car is now red, Sat 21 May 2005, 17:29, Reply)

.
i met my other half's parents early in life. ahh, the joy of being a siameese twin...
(symmetrycat, Sat 21 May 2005, 17:16, Reply)

not the first time, but...
the second time I met BF's father (Yorkshireman, tory, sells cow food) he shook my hand, smiled, and said

"Hello there, I see you've been putting some weight on."

The only think I could think of to say was "I hear that's a compliment in Yorkshire", and I honestly think it was...
(zeitgeist, Sat 21 May 2005, 15:53, Reply)

When I met the parents
When I met an ex's mother for the first time she took an instant dislike to me, and neither I or the girl could work out why. Looking back it may have been the long hair and leather jacket but who knows. It even got to the stage where if I went up to see her I wasn't allowed to sleep in the house and had to camp or stay in the local B&B Anyhoo some years later after we split up she gets asked by her mum what happened to that nice boy that you used to see. After she picked her jaw off the floor she replied " Mum you fucking hated him and you know you did!!"

Yay first post so no apologies!!
(Gfk is a drug crazed Loon, Sat 21 May 2005, 14:49, Reply)

The mother in-law from hell
When I first started to go out with my current g/f she had already informed me that her mother was a complete bitch. She also let me know that her mother and I shared a common interest... we both were sexually attracted to girls!
Well the day came to meeting her and her "life partner" and to be honest I was so nervous that little bits of poo were falling from a bottom. The hour seemed like a lifetime, I was so bored that I wanted to try and drown myself in my mug of tea. As I was sitting there hearing them go on and on about their new house, something bugged me. The mother was short, fat, dark hair.. the partner was very tall, skinny as a bean pole and slightly dopey. Then it dawned on me, they looked like a lesbian Laurel & Hardy!

Things didn't go well with the mother and "father" in-law and over the months we grew to hate each other. I was working from home one day and she phoned me up and had a go at me for "skiving off of work"... the telephone conversation ended with me shouting "Shut up you stupid dyke!" and putting the phone down.

That was the last time I ever spoke to her

I am still bumming her daughter though.. result!
(Katic, Sat 21 May 2005, 14:27, Reply)

not me but...
the first time my sweetie met my parents my dad insisted on telling her about the 'last' unfound body of the moors murders is still hidden somewhere on the moors above my house and various other weird goings on and misdeeds that've happened here since the dawn of time..

what a good first impression to make.
(Predatory Sock, Sat 21 May 2005, 13:07, Reply)

I wish....
i could make a post like this.


im not getting any.

/cry
/knockoneoff
(Mr Moo Cow - HairyBeef, Sat 21 May 2005, 13:06, Reply)

Japanese Father In Law
It was my first time in Japan. When we finally arrived at my girlfriend's parents house I was busting for the lav. I met her mum at the door, but when I asked where the toilet was, I was informed that her dad was currently occupying it. Now, I was on the verge of dampening my pants so my girlfriend started banging on the toilet door telling Dad to hurry up. When he finally came out we said a cursory hello, and I rushed in. Now, as some of you may be aware, plumbed toilets are rather a new thing in some areas of Japan, and although her Dad had got a "high technology" toilet with all the trimmings including bum wash and bum dry 5 - 6 years ago he still hadn't quite got the hang of pulling the little lever after doing his business. Imaging my surprise when I was presented with with an A-class floater while undoing my fly. First impressions eh? And, as it turned out later in the visit, second and third... Still, I married her and Ottousan and I are quite good mates now.
(bbbbbetheball, Sat 21 May 2005, 13:06, Reply)

D`oh
Not my gifrlfriend at the time; but soon to be.

She sat in the kitchen at my 18th birthday party and was loudly and very drunkenly discussing when was a good time and way to lose your virginity. My parents return from wherever they had gone and, bless her, the "soon to be" asks my mum.

She never forgot that and hated her for it.
(Fordprefect, Sat 21 May 2005, 11:39, Reply)

Not a good intro
I was invited to my g/f's parents for dinner. I was eager to meet them for sure, apparently they (at that time) felt the same too, so all the omens were good.

The day I was due to go I felt bad all day, running an occasional low grade fever, sweats, chills, the whole deal. Nonetheless I was determined to go, regardless of how I felt.

The evening went very well indeed. My g/f's mother could cook - and then some. We all ate hugely, complete with decent wine, good conversation...in short, perfect. To round things off, I felt way better, all vestiges of flu like symptoms suffered during the course of the day had vanished.

Dinner was eventually over and coffee was served. Without any warning whatsoever, a wave of nausea overtook me. My stomach instantaneously and violently discharged its contents...all over the dinner table. A goodly portion of semi digested dinner found it's way across the table and onto my g/f's mothers' lap, and even onto the bureau behind her. To make matters worse (if such were possible) a second wave drenched my girlfriend. The third wave was so violent I slid off the chair onto the floor beneath - coughing, retching, burping and getting rid of the final pieces of whatever still resided in my stomach.

Moaning and still coughing ominously, I tried to convey what I intended as an apology. All that happened was another retching session...I staggered out of the house still honking and coughing and into my car whereupon somehow I managed to navigate my way home and into the shower.

Her parents told her afterwards that they never wanted to see me in their house again. (I mean damn, I didn't exactly plan this!!).

A year later we got married, and recently celebrated our 7th anniversary, inviting her parents over for dinner. My father in law inquired darkly whether I intended to blow chunks over everyone this time - as he is wont to do on any family occasion.
(speedwank, Sat 21 May 2005, 11:23, Reply)

Amazing
I first met my boyfriend's dad when he came down to manchester for the day to help him move house. When he arrived, he'd just driven from newcastle, and having been sat in the car for nearly 3 hours, needed to relieve himself. I was pottering about in the bedroom and on the landing, packing some things into boxes, and my boyfriend's dad ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, not realising i was about and so didn't bother to shut the door. i was then treated to the sound of him noisily having a bum egg, with loud farts. he emerged from the bathroom moments later to meet his son's girlfriend for the first time.
( St3cks, Sat 21 May 2005, 10:32, Reply)

3rd date with a guy
We were driving around our local country park, he was an extremely careful driver. He slowed down to go over a speed bump, made it over and about 3 meters away *BANG* the car kinda broke down. He phoned his mummy and daddy to come tow us back to his place. I then had to sit around for about an hour before his 'Rents decided I was to go home. Yeah.
( Smokey Bacon Crisps smell good, Sat 21 May 2005, 10:08, Reply)

The stuff nightmares are made of...
Went to meet the long distance girlfriend's parents and her mother had made a huge dinner for us. I arrived just in time as she was serving it up, I put my coat on the back of my seat and started 'charming' the new found inlaws. The mother was polite and chatty but the father remained rather quiet with an aggitated look on his face which I put down to protective father syndrome. It was only once they both started clearing away the dishes that I noticed the shiny packet of ribbed condoms that had fallen out of my jacket and was sitting in full view of where the father was sat.

To this day I ask myself why ribbed!?!? The least I could have done was buy sensitive, caring condoms that said 'yes, we are having sex, but it's part of a loving, meaningful relationship'. Instead of condoms that said 'These might make your little angel cum a little harder'

Took a while for him to warm to me, but we got there.
(josephus42, Sat 21 May 2005, 9:57, Reply)

err...
I first met my b/f on a tuesday, I was a sweet, pure, innocent little catholic schoolgirl, and he was school skiving, slightly insane drug user who I'd assumed was 16 or 17 (I was 15)... all we did was sit and talk and hug
Then we met again on the wednesday, he took me to his house, his little brother and sister immediately started chanting "DANIEL HAS A GIRLFRIEND! DANIEL HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" but I don't think I saw his mam longer than a few seconds before he started to ravish me
Then I was over again on the friday, and she was fine. All she made sure of was that I wasn't older than him o.O
And we get on fine nearly a year later ^_^ except when she makes jokes about me drowning out the loud music and waking her up in the middle of the night... good times
( Kittenpants, Sat 21 May 2005, 7:35, Reply)

Not exactly 1st impressions but..
with both of my last gfs, also ended up meeting very eccentric parents.

2 years back, I had a little summer relationship with one, and ended up meeting her mom 1st (this is right at the end of jr high). I liked the woman, rather nice, and for some reason associated with being an ex-hippie in my mind. She managed to drive us places that summer, different activities, pretty fun for a summer usually spent where I am sitting right now. Weird thing was when one of the girl's friends tagged along and it turned into weird conversations about cleavage and constant poking. Just imagine being a teenage buy surrounded by 3 women doing that and one of them being 40 or so...kinda odd.

But that was nothing compared to her father. Guy was either at work, downstairs in the basement on the pc or from time to time going in and out of the kitchen to get another beer (this was the only one of his modes i had to get my tounge out of the girl's mouth and pretend not to be doing that kind of ungodly business in his house when he is around :)). The girl didn't like her dad much, I usually didn't bother to talk to him, so it was rather good.

Until this one time..

One of the girl's brother's friends managed to fuck up their pc and blamed everything on me (bitch). I was around the place for a few days hearing from others that he as furious and later didn't come there for a month since my girlfriend flatly and dully said 'he will rip your balls off if you come'. So how do I patch that up with a large, American plumber with an obviously short fuse? He had a soft side for....get this...Fiddler on the Roof! So, I had to with a rented DVD, down the stairs to the basement, shaking from fear and waving a mix of incense and cig smoke from my face to apologize and 'casually' give him the DVD I rented. Peace was settled with the terms of 'stay the fuck away from my computer'. Fair nuff, I had better things to do when I was over anyways ;).

With another girl I was kind of amazed that her parents openly scolded her like a kid and put her down when I was around (even when I just got to know them). Then there is this one time that her mom walks in the room to ask us something wearing a long shirt. I learned 5 minutes later, long shirt was the only thing on her at that moment. The girl told me the parents used to walk around the house nude in the summer...i mean..wow. I didn't like either of them much, not to mention her mom managed to call me something rather vulgar over something rather trivial once.

I learn my lessons from relationships like that.

On a vaguely related note, the 1st time I went to one of my female friend's house and up to her room to watch some movie (no nothing happened, i got standards, sorta), she walks into the room at one point going 'oh my mom likes you and thinks you would make a good bf'.

(no, i didn't, not even after that)


/plays 'If I Was a Rich Man' and sings along
(conspiracyx, Sat 21 May 2005, 7:33, Reply)

My sis' boyfriend
was on his first visit to our house and doing his best to impress. We were getting on well and he found my sense of humour appealing, it seems. (Ever since, I only have to say "badger" and he explodes with laughter.) I'd just made some comment attacking my father's tie choice when said boyfriend spluttered and coughed. The piece of roast lamb he was eating flew from his mouth and landed on the floor where Mum's three terriers all snarled and fought over it. Poor guy...
(gibletwarrior, Sat 21 May 2005, 7:26, Reply)

One for me...one for my sister!
This is probably what finally put me off women.

I used to work at a holiday camp in Northumberland. I met a young lady who was a horny young thing and we had a good giggle, but nothing more than a spot of oral appreciation. About 4 weeks after meeting, we went to her parent's house. Dad is typical Dad, with whole "treat my daughter well" and Mum is already picking out her hat for the wedding.

Anyway, that night we go to bed. Parents are fairly liberal minded and don't mind us sharing a room. Anyway, we start going at it like hammer and tongs. She and me are both virgins. I notice a bit of blood on the condom. "That's odd" I think, then realise that this must be the hymen thingummy, or maybe the fleet is in. Well, when you're 17, a shag is a shag.

I take the condom off to notice a pain in my knob. No, that was NOT her. It was me. I had ripped my foreskin and banjo string quite badly, and it would NOT stop bleeding. It reminded me so much of that scene from "There's something about Mary."

Vicky is no help, wakes her Dad up, who drives me up to A&E. Cue 5 humiliating hours on a Friday night stuck in the arse end of Northumberland. Out of action for a fortnight whilst it heals. Dumped her. Moved onto blokes. Better.


Anyway, a couple of years earlier, my elder sister gets married to her fiance. On the night before the wedding, me, my older brother and my younger sister and her boyfriend spent the night in my elder sister's house. (Her and her hubby were staying elsewhere, obviously!) Anyway, whilst I am drifting off to sleep, I hear strange noises coming from the bedroom next door. Being young and naive, I think nothing more of it and fall asleep. During the reception, my brother loudly informs my sister that new homes have thinner walls than she is used to, and says "aint that right...Bonking Bev?!" in front of the assembled wedding party. Cue my sister running out of the room bright red, my Dad swallowing a prawn the wrong way and my Mum cackling like an old crone.

I would apologise for length, girth and so on but I have no shame.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sat 21 May 2005, 7:23, Reply)

My Big Fat Italian Wedding
I am a fairly normal Yorkshire lad and my gf is an Italian stunner who incidentally speaks better English than me.

The first meeting between me and my gf's family in Italy is akin to the scenes of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I was shell shocked by just how welcoming everyone was, couldn't have asked for a better family.

Travel forward a month and again imagine the scenes in MBFGW with my Conservative mother and father. Sitting together having tea in utter silence. I thought I was going to die from tedium.

I still cringe when I see that film...
(nospoon The Olympigs would have been more entertaining., Sat 21 May 2005, 5:09, Reply)

Pretty good, really
I remember meeting my gf's folks (mum, stepdad, younger half-sister) five years ago. We all got on very well, although talking to SD was a bit stilted. I also remember shagging in her room, hoping her sister didn't barge in on us...

I get on with my gf's (soon to be fiance's, if I get my act together) mum better than I do my own mum, which can only bode well. As for her stepdad (gf's dad died when she was a nipper) - she isn't too keen on him and neither am I. Feelings are shared, I think. On the up side, he'll probably collapse from stress in a few years, so we won't have to put up with him for too long. Twunt.
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Sat 21 May 2005, 2:22, Reply)

Hello Mum
I caught the Stagecoach bus to my girlfriend's parents house but the driver wouldn't accept my Scottish £10 note so I had to walk. When I arrived I said "Sorry I'm late, due to the BASTARD bus driver" at which point her dad walked in in his Stagecoach uniform.

I said "never mind, I'll buy us all an Ice Cream to say sorry" but then the ice cream man played his tune to tell us he had run out.

We went to bed and in the morning her mum had left us both a cup of tea.
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Sat 21 May 2005, 2:20, Reply)

Well
I've only ever met my g/fs parents 3 times and each time both me and g/f was totally pissed out our heads. I doubt I've made the best impression but meh, I'm poking their little angel with my stick of wonder so why should I care?
(grey.squirrel, Sat 21 May 2005, 1:58, Reply)

Superdude...
...years ago I had a similiar episode - turns out the girl I was dating was not yet 16 and I was, well...older.
We got on so well I somehow just never thought to ask her about her age.

Anyways, went around her house to meet the family (very nice, though rather conservative parents)and something said made it dawn on me that she was a couple of months short of 16. Thinking on my feet I was just about to lie about my age if asked and in walks her sister, who mentions we used to be old classmates. Slight awkward pause and then conversation resumes like nothing happened.

I decided that this relationship was meant to be and we have been happily married for 18 years next month.

I am one lucky bastard.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sat 21 May 2005, 1:25, Reply)

Meeting my first boyfriend
who i met on the internet.. hehe. (I was still closeted okay?! Hard to meet other woofters when you instinctively deny everything and claim you didn't even know there was a colour called pink)

Anyway! I travel an unnecessarily long distance down South and meet him. We go back to his, and his parents are there and have cooked a delightful meal.

Upon entering his gate and ready to meet them, my BF turns round and says "oh yeah, i havent told em you're from Leeds.. they think I met you at uni in Derby, okay?" "but.." "It'll be fine!"

Cue a meal where I am sat down, and conversation such as this ensues:

Dad: "So you're from Derby then?"
Me: "uhm.. yeah.."
Dad: "Which part?"
Me: "Err.. errr..."
*a huge amount of very awkward seconds pass*
Dad: "Just Derby?"
Me: "yeah just Derby Derby basically.."

So for a good while I appeared to a complete twunt who knew nothing about where I was from, or anything for that matter. I had never been to Derby, nor had I been to the student part of "Derby Derby".

Eventually my BF told them, and next time I went into a huge amount of detail about everything I possibly could about a town I HAD actually seen in places other than an atlas.
( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sat 21 May 2005, 0:50, Reply)