my now ex...
when i met my (now ex) bf's dad it was kinda late, dark, and he watch watching a loud tv. the guy said 'hey dad this is my gf'
his dad misheard, looked round, saw me (quite short hair, in the shadows) and acused his son of being gay.
[i think he is]

another guy, and this time i was white-deathing it in his back garden after an all nighter. but his parents still gave me a lift home. nice guys.

sorry for crap/boring-ness of this post.

thorpie
(ThePony, Sun 22 May 2005, 23:09, Reply)

Childish Death Threats
Popped down to the metropolis to meet 'the parents'. Was pretty nervous, but kidded self it couldn't go as bad as a previous incident (I'll recount that one at a later date). Said my hello's, smiled etc, her little brother comes walking down the stairs and says:

'Daddy's going to cut your head off and bury it in the back garden with all the other ones if he doesn't like you...'

Turns out it was all a joke they'd set up before I arrived. I cried with laughter. Or at least that's what I told them.
(spangledonkey I've got a mouse. His name is Gerald., Sun 22 May 2005, 22:36, Reply)

Getting off on the wrong foot...
I first met my ex's parents one fine Sunday morning, whilst lying in bed with her at her flat. There was a knock on the door, so she went to answer it, only to discover (to her horror) that her parents had driven 200 miles for a surprise visit.

They were surprised all right.

Her mother and father walked in to the bedroom, where I was lying in bed watching breakfast telly (Maggie Thatcher was being interviewed by David Frost or somebody).

Her dad started telling me what a great admirer he was of the Iron Lady and how she had finally crushed "those bloody socialists".

GF's mother dragged her off to the kitchen where I could hear her screaming "How long have you been sleeping with him?" and giving her the full interrogation.

I didn't think it could get any worse - then her father spotted my "Support the Miners' Strike" T-shirt - complete with my ol' mate Arthur Scargill on the front...
( finnbar has officially retired, Sun 22 May 2005, 20:47, Reply)

I've met my gf parents before
but I recently hit my girlfriends mother in the head with a frisbee. Whilst I didn't mean to do it, it didn't feel completely unsatisfying.

(Please don't hurt me for not strictly answering the question)

(I've also crashed her car. Twice. My gf mother loves me.)
(Squash, Sun 22 May 2005, 20:34, Reply)

aberdeen...
Ever seen that film, Aberdeen? That could've been my Dad. He was an alcoholic ex-sailor who lived alone and had frequent relapses. One of the first times he met my then-partner, he had a black eye from falling over drunk and was sick all weekend from the hangover...

The last time he visited England was when he came over with me and that same partner several years ago. The journey itself was horrendous, we spent 24 hours on a boat and then drove 5 hours in a car on the "wrong" side of the road. Dad relapsed the minute we left the harbour and drank heavily all the way there. When we finally arrived at my sister's house, he greeted my mother (who'd divorced him about 14 years previously and barely seen him since) thus: "I'm pissed".

Meeting my brother-in-law for the first time shortly after this, he came out with this little gem: "I was unfaithful in 1973". News to us, I can tell you.

Brother-in-law deserves a medal for not running away screaming...
(juicer, Sun 22 May 2005, 20:31, Reply)

Imagine a film, for real
Long story, which I will try to make short by cutting out minor details. Although outrageous, this is entirely true, believe me.

Was in a show with this girl, Kat. For months, months, months I had been trying to get with her. My methods were obviously lacking for I earned the nickname 'creepy mike'. Not good.

Anyway, last night of the show, kat asks if anyone wants to come back to her house for a drink, bit of a party etc. About 30 people accept and head off to her 2 bed victorian semi (with groundfloor extention. Read Kat's room. Read my ultimate goal.)

So, her parents, expecting 4/5 people get a bit of a shock. Nonetheless, they get into the spirit, poor a glass of wine each and hand out the drink. Huge dad, Lovely Mum, brother about 6'4".

Kat's dad talks to her mate mark, tells him to warn me not to get frisky with his little girl.

Kat's dad talks to Kat, 'Don't get frisky with Creepy Mike'.

3.30am, Kat and I get frisky.

Major frisky.

By some series of events, kat's mum storms in, bangs on lights, rips covers off us, both starkers and shagging.

The longest volley of 4-letter words streamed from her while I franticly grab trousers and hop out of room putting them on. I sat in the rain, in the garden until her mum calmed down. Got my stuff and walked 6 hours back to my house about 15/20 miles away.
In the rain.

Being the nice guy that I am, I rang them up when I got home and apologised.
We are now together. Her dad does not know, neither to either of my parents.
Apologies for length, but it still makes me laugh.
(VintageAsphalt, Sun 22 May 2005, 18:45, Reply)

Thinking I was being cool
and clever (again) when my girlfriend said that her Mum would like to meet me, I, without her knowledge phoned up her Mum, invited myself round and had tea with her while the girlfriend was at college.

Not. Amused.
( FatherJack /me belms, Sun 22 May 2005, 17:31, Reply)

Walking down the street,
we were confronted by a very drunk, very loud and sweary Irishman staggering towards us down the other side of the street. Thinking I was being very clever and most amusing I say to her "That's your Dad, that is."

It was.
( FatherJack /me belms, Sun 22 May 2005, 17:24, Reply)

I met my new mother-in-law at my wedding
She lived abroad (thank god). The wedding was themed as in Vampires, Goths, Warlocks etc for a bit of fun, with rock music playing and much to the irritation of my new monster-in-law, oops, I mean mother-in-law. The 'do' was held in an old country mansion for good measure.

When I arrived, dressed as a cross between Cher and Morticia , she barked at my best mate, whilst pointing in a disgusting manner at me, "who's that?". When told "that's the bride" she looked like she'd lost a million and found a quid.

Unfortunately, i'm since divorced and can safely assume i'm not mentioned in her will.
(Enzy_Chick, Sun 22 May 2005, 16:46, Reply)

laugh I nearly chuckled
My now girlfriend, being of the ditzy and confused variety, met my parents and brother with the now immortal line " pleased to meet you, my best friend married
a chuckle brother" cue stunned silence.

She has no explanation to this day for this outburst.

Apparently it was the taller one.
(Fordprefect, Sun 22 May 2005, 16:39, Reply)

Girls!
I dont believe in girlfriends.
(spike4848, Sun 22 May 2005, 15:19, Reply)

bah
to meet the parents that would involve actually having a g/f...

spare me your pity, I don't want it!
(Cpl. Nobby Nobbs, Sun 22 May 2005, 14:55, Reply)

I must be lucky...
my gf's parents are sound people, they like decent music, and her dad used to race mountain bikes (mountain biking being a hobby of mine). share a fair few interests and music tastes etc, so i'm damned lucky in comparison to some of you lot! /looks smug
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Sun 22 May 2005, 13:16, Reply)

It set the scene
The first time I met my boyfriend's (now husband) family I walked through the front door and his brother (who was 8 at the time) said 'she's better than your last ugly monkey girlfriend!'. Result! His mother said 'Hello, when are you going to give me grandchildren?'...

needless to say 13 years later she's still waiting - now that's making her wait :) *evil cackle*
( Tinfingers Lurk me long time, Sun 22 May 2005, 12:21, Reply)

not my g/f but still met parents
was coming round after a great session around a living room floor the previous night, lying on a sofa in my bday suit covered by just a sheet, felt like Ewan Mcgregor in Trainspot*

opened my eye to see last nights Dad sat watching TV suppin a cuppa. Proceeded to get an hours interogation from Dad and Mum, sat on the end of sofa wrapped in a sheet, putting shirt back on e.t.c.

Still unaware where i was, managed to shuffle off to the bathroom to gather senses, and saw the biggest collection of fkukin hickies around my chest and lower reagions in my life, Ha!

Only found out where i was when she called a taxi for me and i asked the cabbie where i was, he reckoned i must have had a bloody good night as my car was 30 miles away from my start point (a mates house where i was supposed to end up) and still had another 40 to get home then.

are other meet the parents stories, but mainly involve the pressure of fixing the Dads PC, and suspecting i was being judged on that! thing ran like a dream after 4 hours of farting around and had a fantastic meal, shame i had been dumped a couple of days previously by the daughter of the very same Dad, still mates but bloody miss...

anyway, cheers
(1_not_so_careful_owner, Sun 22 May 2005, 12:19, Reply)

First time
I met g/fs mum was also first time for her in UK (my g/F is Belgian).

Having nice (expensive) meal in town. Mum doesn't speak any English, I don't speak any French.

Tell g/f I have to meet friends in pub - true enough, and would mummy like to come along to see real British pub?

Of course - yippee!!!

Didn't count on mum discovering real British drunks falling asleep on her tits.

What can you do?
(Gone Native, Sun 22 May 2005, 11:40, Reply)

coming out in style.
Her story, ain't mine.

Backstory: I am a woman who is interested in other women. After skirting round the issue with parents for many years, I brought my gf home. I wasn't too up on telling them, so I just introduced her as a mate.

We went upstairs, randomed, drank lots, went for a walk. Got home. She said she wanted to sleep. I turned the lights off, she jumped me. We proceeded to have very amazing loud sex for an hour or so before my phone started ringing.

Mother.

'Will you two keep the fucking noise down?'

We've been together nearly two years now and mother STILL won't let us forget that. Neither will the rest of the family.
(sporky, Sun 22 May 2005, 11:26, Reply)

Oh Caroline..
When I first met the lovely carolines father he burst into her bedroom on this Saturday mornin'We were sitting up in bed..I had a bottle of wine in one hand and an enormous post-shag spliff in the other..he immediately expressed a desire to kill me and proceeded to chase me all over the house..me- nude cackling like a deviant..I managed to barricade myself into the spare room..he was well beserk and had a go at bashing his way in..He gave up thank God and fooked off..I gargled wine and smoked up a storm with relief..Caroline..you were wonderful!!!!
(King Spoon, Sun 22 May 2005, 11:00, Reply)

His and Mine
My story's not very interesting, so I'll be brief:

I met his family (dad, mum, younger sister, and dog) and we got along quite well - even the dog liked me, much to my relief - although I thought it was a bit odd that they already had a picture of us in one of thoes LCD screen frames (they're a high-tech family).

Then he met my parents, and we had lunch and chatted. Later I asked my dad what he thought of him.

My dad said, and I quote: "He's too smart for you." (Which is true; the guy's an ICS major and I'm a mere art student)

Broke up a few weeks later and have since been content with isolated bouts of infatuation.
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Sun 22 May 2005, 10:05, Reply)

Meet the parents!
I was really good friends with a girl called Sarah, we wern't a couple at all, but were really close friends.

The day came that i would meet her mum and dad, and we took a drive over there one afternoon. She warned me before we went in 'Don't call my dad mate, he hates it' so i said 'ok, no problems'

I get in the front door which was opened by her mum, very nice lady indeed, gave me a really warm welcome :-) Then i sort of stood about for a bit wondering what to do, so sarah introduced me to her dad who was in the living room. He gave me a really icy stare, and said hello....so i said 'Alright' and with that he turned round and said 'I'm not your mate!' so i said 'i didn't say mate?' and he said i did....so rather than make it worse i just said 'sorry'

But now i get on really well with him, used to go to work with him a lot in the truck aswell, was invited to family do's and the like.

So yeah, not bad at all :-D
(Spence - The artist formerly known as Hintz, Sun 22 May 2005, 7:50, Reply)

I haven't had the pleasure yet
But I recently started going out with my first (ever) girlfriend, and it seems to be going well. I still have meeting her folks to look forward too.
And yes, she is a real, live, female human.
(sqrrl101, Sun 22 May 2005, 3:31, Reply)

Stupid Parents
Many years ago when I was a young lad of about 15 years of age I met the neighborhood tramp. She was a cute girl and a total whore. Her father was a rather large, rather scary redneck whos hobbies included hunting and taxedermy. I started hanging around with the girl because she'd let me kiss her and stick my hands anywhere I wanted to. The first time I met her father he took me into his garage, shut the door and turned on the light. Hanging from the ceiling was a large, dead deer. Her father proceeded to evicerate the animal in front of me. As blood, guts and other unidentifiable fluids poured out onto the ground around us he warned me that if he caught me fooling around with his baby girl, he would bestow the same fate upon me.

2 weeks later I show up at the girl's house, her father is not home so we get to fooling around. I stripped her naked, as I intended on losing my virginity, pulled my pants down and thought all was well. Almost immediately the door swung open and her father was standing there. His 14 year old daughter naked and me with my pants around my ankles. I didn't say a word. I got up, pulled up my trousers and ran past him as fast as I could.

She was sent away to live with her mom the following day and I didn't manage to lose my virginity for 2 additional years.

Amusingly, I ran into the girl a few years later and ended up fucking her. Goodtimes.
(scarsfromknives, Sun 22 May 2005, 0:54, Reply)

When I met the parents
We'd been out to the pub all night and stumbled back to her Mum's place really quite the worse for drink. Well I was anyway.

We snuck silently up to her room, which was next to her Mum's. After an abortive drunken fumble, we decided that I'd better try and go to sleep, but as soon as the light went off the room began to spin uncontrollably. After a few agonising minutes trying to hold back the inevitable, I sat bolt upright, and got as far as asking "Where's your..." before regurgitating several pints of Lowenbrau and the remains of a couple of packets of crisps all over her and her bed. Cue much crashing about and muttered cursing as I was led to the bathroom to clean up. I wasn't quite finished, however, and heaved a load more all over the bathroom floor.

Her mother had, by this point, come out to see what the f*ck was going on, and was welcomed by the sight of my browneye winking at her (I was kneeling naked in a puddle of puke with my head down the bowl) and her (by now crying) daughter scrubbing puke off the duvet cover. We never really hit it off, to tell you the truth.
(se8card, Sun 22 May 2005, 0:42, Reply)

Actually meeting them was fine
We got on well the first time we met, but after dinner, her dad went to work and her mom went out shopping.

We decided to take advantage of being alone and soon she was 'fellating' me to put it nicely. Her mother came back early - just as I was cumming, and I somehow managed to jizz on the sofa.

We ran out the back gate.
I didn't go round again.
(Diluted, Sat 21 May 2005, 23:56, Reply)

A friend this time
My friend's just got his first g/f...awww. But if they break up he's probably not going to want another one....

Before even meeting her family he was told her brother would castrate him/break his legs and her dad would never like him...

At least there was mum right? Nope...she'd gone to the phillapines for 3 months, back to where she was ordered from...i kid you not, some stereotypes exist cos they're true...

Anywho, eventually (when brother is away) he goes to her house, greeted by a heavy drinker who says "urgh"...at least he didn't hit him...except the second time her met him he went to open the door and the handle broke off, not his fault i'm told, but try telling that to a guy who already hates him for no reason and is screaming "Well, its bollocked!!!" The third time he talks to him is when him and his girl are going to cornwall to look at falmouth uni...the dad finds out they're staying in the same room (but seperate beds - first g/f remember) and demands they spend an extra £70 for another room or they can't go...

Dad and brother both still hate him, but mums back (although no-one was sure if she would) and she's ok with him, she maintains that her husbands behaviour is "just his way"...

When she met his parents it wasn't any better. His family are quite reserved all be it embarrasing. But his girl friend likes telling brother-likes-porn-but-doesn't-lock-the-door stories...and incontinence related anecdotes, the best being - while everyone was sat round the dinner table "hehe...so this one time me and mum were in the local shopping centre and she was wearing white trousers..."
(left-handed-monkey, Sat 21 May 2005, 23:49, Reply)

okay, so the last post was a bit random...
his parents are pretty cool actually which works out for me and i know he's cool with my mom, steppy and bro. get nervous twitch thinking about if he ever meets mon pere... well, we'll have to see, eh?
(bite_me38, Sat 21 May 2005, 23:12, Reply)

all works out fine
I met my birds parents whilst she was still going out with her old bloke, at her birthday party - they walked in on us having a but of fun -
Soon after we became a couple - her mother said she liked me more anyway :p
Score,
(Sennor, Sat 21 May 2005, 21:56, Reply)

I.....
love my boyfriend
(bite_me38, Sat 21 May 2005, 21:54, Reply)

the other halves family..
...are uncommonly loverly *happiness*
(Euphrosne, Sat 21 May 2005, 20:36, Reply)