Liar, liar, pants on fire...
My friends and I were the sort to play with Ouija boards during lunchtime at school. We'd all sit under a table covered by a huge curtain, asking our departed souls how they died and such.

One day, just as "Norman" moved the glass to spell out fire, we hear screaming. Emerging from beneath the table, what else do we see but one of the chavettes who'd been smoking out the window with her shirt sleeve on fire. I'd like to say we learnt from the experience.. ha.
(Valensin, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 16:45, Reply)

I lived in a graveyard at university...
... so logically enough, come Halloween we had a massive fancy-dress party. The only spooky thing to happen was that several extra bottles of fine wine materialised during the evening, so that by the end of it we'd actually made a profit in terms of alcohol - surely a first for any student party?


Oh, and to get the obvious gags in, yes, it was in the dead centre of town; the neighbours were quiet; and the only spirits we contacted were the distilled souls of dead wheat, rye and barley...
(psd eats stuff. Often., Sun 23 Apr 2006, 16:41, Reply)

Its an actual ghost story! (a rareity for this QOTW)
It was when I lived in a little two storey flat, the layout of which was the bedrooms and livingroom were upstairs. The storage room, bathroom and kitchen were downstairs, with a corridor connecting them leading to the front door.

Now the odd thing was the storage room was always cold, always, now i thought nothing of this because i was young (about 12).

Now one night my mum and a mate of hers get back from a night out having only had about 2 glasses of wine between them. unknown to my mums friend me and my brother were upstairs in bed and the babysiter had buggered off. My mums mate walks past the storage room and asks "why is matthew (thats me) in the storage room?" my mum replies
"he isnt he's in bed" my mums friend (looking increasing pale says
"look ive just seen a little boy in that storage room" my mum says
"both the boys are upstairs in bed go and check if you dont believe me" and sure enough, we were, upon checking the storage room, nothing, it only contained a few boxes.

turns out the storage room was haunted by the ghost of a timid little boy who used to peek his head round doorways when me and my brother were at school. I never saw him (which was just as well) but always felt uneasy in the lower half of the flat.

My mum only told us this after moving out which was just as well because I would have shat myself and never slept again. I've never had any reason to doubt it either seeing as my mum isnt a alcoholic or mental and was kind enough not to share the information with us until moving out, plus another person saw it. and although I am a secular bloke and skeptical I firmly beleive in hauntings provided there is believable evidence for it.
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 16:39, Reply)

Once the Dark Lord told me to tell everyone to click the "I like this" underneath this post.

Forgive me, I don't have a decent story.
(getdown is not spanish, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 16:37, Reply)

Edenmonster
You are almost right (not just a kind of nightmare) and if I dig out my psyc text books, I can tell you more...

Cataplexy - A symptom of narcolepsy; complete paralysis that occurs during waking

(you see during REM sleep our brain would normally send messages to our body to mimic the movements we make in our dreams. Obviously running around while asleep is dangerous so our bodies become paralysed during REM sleep to prevent this. Cataplexy results when the brain misfires the period of paralysis so that it overlaps with waking)

Sleep Apnea - Cessation of breathing while sleeping

(during a period of sleep apnea, the level of carbon dioxide in the blood rises until the brain notices and causes the person to wake up, gasping for breath)

Hypnagogic hallucination - A symptom of narcalepsy; vivid dreams that occur just before a person falls asleep / just after waking; accompanied by sleep paralysis.

Having quoted all that out of a text book, please don't think I am saying the psychologists are right and believers in the supernatural are wrong. Personally I believe in both! Sorry for going wildly off-topic there but I thought that it might interest someone.
(Heggy, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 15:31, Reply)

a kid who went to my pre-school

was playing forts or something, as kids do, and crawled inside the fridge in his house. Somehow the door shut, and sadly the babysitter was 'busy' with her boyfriend at the time and didn't notice until it was too late.

From that day on, the fridge was noticeably colder than the rest of the house. EXPLAIN THAT, SKEPTICS.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 14:44, Reply)

I once slept in a graveyard.
Throughout the night I heard mysterious scurrying noises, the sounds of distant (perhaps spectral) traffic, and a spooky hissing sound like the blowing of the wind.

Also, throughout the night it got progressively colder and didn't warm up again until the sun came up, presumably chasing all the ghosts away.

Scary, eh?
(MooCow_Byter, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 14:30, Reply)

Idiots and Alcohol
I run a pub in an old building here in sunny Bradford, and with the building being old, and a pub I thought it should have a ghost too, so I made one up.

I told a few people that I had seen an old man in a grey suit and trilby hat walking past the end of the bar, into a small room and then disappearing. Wow! A ghost! They were terribly excited. And then people started to tell me that they had seen the ghost too. Exactly as I had described it. More and more people. And then more and more people could see it. And they told everyone.

And then we had fucking ghost hunters in (yeah, I never realised that there were people sad enough to do that either but to be fair it was probably their first time in a pub ever, the big geeks). They noted temperature fluctuations and all sorts of clever stuff that proved sod all. I begrudgingly realised then it had gone too far.

So I came clean. There was no ghost. I had made it up. I thought every pub should have one so I made it up. Some people believed me and some didn’t.

It just goes to show that if people want to believe something enough, (and presumably are gullible and drunk) then they will actually see it and make other people see it too.

And since then I have actually seen the old guy at the end of the bar.
Twice. Weird huh?
( fr13day has everything required to be a Penguin, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 14:27, Reply)

very scary
I used to live in Newcastle and shared a flat with 6 other people. Anyway, two of the girls I shared with would often sit in the room next to mine and gossip. The walls were pretty thin so I could make out what they were saying. A few times in a row I heard them talking about me and making fun of me a bit (I was quite shy at the time). Anyway on one fateful day I heard them chuckling away and then I heard very distinctively one of the girls say - "How come you can still hear us even though there's nobody here?" and then lauging away in a very mocking tone. There was no mistaking the voice - it was definitely my flatmate's voice I could hear. So understandably shaken I went next door and indeed there was nobody there at all. So what were the voices I heard? Well turned out I was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and I was having auditory hallucinations (although I didn't find that out until much later). Things got a lot worse - more voices, voices all the time, very scary - I was sectioned and put in a psychiatric ward and I am still taking medication today. Woo.
(BIV was recently envatted., Sun 23 Apr 2006, 13:43, Reply)

Piston_Broke
This is a very common sleep disturbance. Thoysands of people every day emerge from sleep feeling paralysed, usually with the feeling something evil is pushing down on there chest, making it unable for them to breath. It's really just a form of nightmare.

The fact that your mind added a pair of clawed hands means youy have a vivid imagination, and are probably quite intelligent-the vividness of dreams is linked to I.Q.

There was a documentery about it on C4 a few years ago.

WWWWWWoooooooowwwwwwooooWWWWWWWWW ect.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 12:36, Reply)

Trapped in my bed.
To set the scene, it's about 5am (well it felt like it anyways) and I wake up. I then notice I can't move. Ah. This starts to scare me a bit. And then I become aware of a presence. Not sure what it was, only that it had ill intent. I didn't like the feel of it, not one bit. And here is me pinned to the bed with what felt like a very malevolent presence in the room. Then I became aware of a pair of hands- nothing more. They were grey, wizened and had nails that would be more accurately described as claws. And they were coming towards me. And I was paralysed, unable to scream even. I was screaming inside, oh my how I was screaming inside. But not a whimper issued from my mouth. Still these hands came towards me- slowly, malevolently. Still, I tried to scream again- move a finger- anything, but nothing. I was pinned, by this force, presence, call it what you will. And then in a moment I can only call pure relief, something snapped- it was like a light was shining in the room- and I could move, more importantly get the hell away from whatever it was, and better still, fight back if I could. Not that I needed to. When I could move again, the presence was gone. And that has to be the single most eerie experience of my life to date.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 23 Apr 2006, 12:27, Reply)

Ouija?
I once tried using a Weegie board

Could only find the ghost of some wee Scottish bloke though...

*ahem*

David
(442, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 12:12, Reply)

Shop weirdness
I dunno if this counts cos it didnt really scare me or do much at all,more of just a weird going-on.

I was in TK Maxx (uber-cool,very large shop) wandering about nearish the door,when suddenly it all went very dark. A crowd of about 100 people rushed to the door of the shop because it had gone from pretty much broad daylight (if a bit grey and rainy) to being literally as dark as night.This lasted about 7 minutes,then it rapidly grew light again.

I watched the weather report that day and no mention was made of a mini-eclipse or anything. Although,later that day there was a huuge thunderstorm,so it may have been something to do with that.

I stil like to think it was some kinda cool humungous UFO passing over though...
(Miharu, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 9:58, Reply)

I once told a friend I had sold my soul
and had in compensation been given amazing psychic abilities. To demonstrate this I asked him to pick cards from a deck and without showing them to me, I told him which ones he had picked.

It wasn't a trick deck - I had previously memorised the top few cards in order and the numpty, rather than shuffling the deck, just peeled them off the top.

I think he is still scared of me and that "I know" which is what I kept telling him for months afterwards, without elaborating on exactly what it was I knew.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 9:36, Reply)

Happy Meal freakishness.
When I was really little and stupid(well, when I was little anyways), I loved the lovable Grimace(the big purple thing) character from McDonalds. You know..the fat purple blob. One night it was dark and storming...wind moving the trees into ominous forms... and I looked out the window and WHO SHOULD BE THERE BUT GRIMACE TAPPING ON THE WINDOW (This was a dark ass night)! I freaked out needless to say and had my dad go out IN THE STORM to 'kill it'. Turns out, it was a freakin tree being blown by the wind in a shape similar to the purple demon's body against the window. :( I was positive he was mad at me for eating his fries or something..and had McDonalds issues for a long time after that.
**Grimace still gives me the creeps..I mean wtf is that thing?
(gingerdeadgirl, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 9:34, Reply)

can I be the 6th Beatle?
Back in my impressionable days as a 15 year old, my friends and i had a lot of sleepovers involving ouija boards. We knew one friend always pushed the pointer, but one night my less pop-culture inclined friend and I played on our own. We quickly "got in touch" and so we asked how he died. it spelled out "h-e-a-d". so's we thought hmmm. we then asked what his name was. he replied stu. stu what? we asked. "sutcliffe". interesting...
Anyway, we mentioned this to our friend, who happens to be a huge beatles fan, and she said that he was that 5th Beatle and died of a brain hemorrhage. Now, I like Derek Accorahlreef as much as the next girl, but I'm not the biggest ouija believer. However, neither of us using the board knew who Stu Sutcliffe was, let alone how he died. wacky stuff was afoot, my friends, wacky stuff.

sorry for the big boned post. oh, that sounded dirty.
(The 3rd Duchess of Spank, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 5:13, Reply)

Oh dear, dead arm
I've had a few creepy experiences, like the time the Ouija board told me I would start World War 20 with the American Food and Drug Administration (WW XX USFDA). But here's the worst of them:

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling very odd indeed. I rolled over to go back to sleep, but all the sudden something cold, clammy, and unusually heavy fell over my mouth, as if it was trying to suffocate me. I freaked out and began to struggle against it. Oh my god, I thought, someone has broken into my room in the middle of the night and wants to do me in. But oddly enough, this evil person wasn't trying too hard to keep me down, so I grabbed at the cold, dead-feeling hand and pushed it away from me...

And realized it was my other hand.

Which I had apparently fallen asleep upon, cutting off the circulation and leaving it numb and immobile. Rolling over had caused it to fall on my face.

Scared the hell out of me though...

Luckily the dead arm warmed up a few minutes later and is now fully functional.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 4:07, Reply)

American Civil War
As some of you know, I contribute to historical television projects (mostly military) for the History Channel. On my way home from one such project, it was very hot. I have a large dog, his name is Goose and he was along for the trip and was panting away in the backseat. So I decided to get him some water.

Lo and behold, the next exit was for the Antietam Battlefield/National park. Excellent! Antietam is called such because the Antietam Creek ran through the battlefield so it meant FREE water! BONUS!

We hiked down to the Burnside Bridge (a large redbrick bridge present during the battle. [brief history lesson] The Union Forces tried to cross the bridge NUMEROUS times, only to be held off my a regiment of Georgians on the opposite bank who kept up a withering fire. Killing hundreds in a short amount of time.

Goose and I crossed the bridge to the Union side and walked down to the waters edge. The dog stepped into the water to begin drinking and after a couple laps of water, his head snapped up and he started growling looking at the far side of the creek. Its important to note here that there was NOONE about. Also, he is NOT a growler/barking type of dog. Then he started going absolutely mental! Growling and barking very aggressively (the ONLY time he has EVER done so) staring RIGHT at the spot where the Confederates were.

He kept it up (VERY uncharacteristic) all the way back up the bank and all the way until we were half way across the bridge. Then he stopped and was entirely his normal self.

I believe he was seeing the Confederates and knew that they meant him ill because we were on the wrong side of the bridge. [The irony here is that he is actually NAMED for a Confederate Commander, Pierre Gustave Toutant Beauregard]

We made a quick escape and stopped at a convenience store for spring water.

100% true.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 2:53, Reply)

Messing with the dark side...
I dont have a story about the dark side... but I do have one about an Airport a German Policeman and a Tea strainer.... Im a bit behind cos of the satellite delay (I live on the dark side of the Moon) tenious link or what??
(pregnantfiasco, Sun 23 Apr 2006, 1:10, Reply)

Instant blood red moon !
I was at Milton Keynes train staion late one night and was looking out of those silly round windows in the bit that takes you over the lines.

I noticed a brilliant moon was shining - but just as I was staring at it, it INSTANTLY changed to blood red !!!! a definite portent of evil I thought !

Anyway - all it was was a silly reflection of the track signals going from amber to red, as a wanky virgin train got delayed (as usual).
( Signify, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 23:43, Reply)

Goo-Goo-Ga-Joob
Like a bunch of teenie Derek Acorahs, a bunch of spotty kids set up a Ghost Club in our school. Much like the infamous Wanking Club, they set up shop in the school dark room, and set about their grim task with home made ouija board with the express task of making contact with the recently deceased John Lennon, to see if he had any decent tunes left in him.

Except they didn't. Ju-Vid had heard talk of their plans and hid hidden himself in a cupboard and waited...

When Lennon knocked twice for yes for the tenth time and a horribly distorted version of "I am the Walrus" played out of hidden tinny speakers the Ghost Club fled, screaming, for their lives.

I'll never mess with dead Beatles again.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 22:56, Reply)

my brother
being a 13-year old with lank, greasy hair, and a weird complex for trying to fit in with all the alternative kids at school, decided to go for a ouija session with some other similar lads.

they got in touch with whatever the spirit was, and it talked to my brother, and said there would be a miracle in our family, and not a lot else.

then, all of a sudden, the glass broke under their fingers, and they all now have this identical scar near the top of their right palms, which utterly freaks the shit out of me.

since then, bugger all miracles have happened, and as such i am still holding out for it, and it better be a good one.

apologies for intolerable girth
(fantomex, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 22:36, Reply)

I was a teenage poltergeist...
Back in High School I was in some sort of school play as a circus member, my terrible acting skills compensated for by the fact I already had all my own equipment* for juggling, meaning that my involvement saved a few pounds of the play's meagre budget.

Anyway, come the night of the play we spent time between scenes following the time-honoured tradition of scaring the bowels out of young girls by passing on a few of our school's ghost stories. The best known of these involved a student hanging herself in the music room, where she could still be seen wondering about and heard playing the piano.

Enter Pete, who was working backstage that night and therefore dressed entirely in black. Pete was a seriously talented pianist, and - luckily for me - very skinny. After a painstaking half hour I finally persuaded the trembling girls to venture upstairs to the pitch black music floor in order to commune with the dead bint's spirit. While the girls were huddled in a corner near the door, Pete reached out of his cupboard and softly began to play... cue many girlish screams and flapping-of-hands. When we decided they'd had enough of this, pete stopped playing and the girls exited past the piano into the corridor to the stairs.

It was at this point the poor girls were introduced to my newest and favorite prop, which made a loud *thud* *BANG* *thud* as my glow in the dark bounce ball flew past them, banged noisily off a metal cupboard five yards away and ricoched back to my hiding place.

Although I now feel sorry for these girls, I take some satisfaction in the knowlege that their second set of screams was loud enough to be heard over the noise of the show in progress on a different floor at the other end of the school.

Weirdly, as I lay in bed that night laughing about the whole thing I was disturbed by a snatch of piano music before about a dozen books fell off the shelves onto my floor. Laugh? I almost shat myself...

As it turned out, we had a very minor earthquake during the night which was cushioned by my bed but toppled precariously-balanced things all over the village. After a bit more investigation, the music turned out to be from an ice-cream van Harold Bishop was driving through the night on a quest to find out what the f*ck "Web 2.0" is...

*tee hee

Gravitas (who was raised religious and has therefore spend hundreds of hours in churches and graveyards, often alone and at various times of night and day but has never once seen anything even slightly odd there. I have, however, studied hypnosis and am constantly amazed by what people can make themselves believe they saw or heard given the right environment or suggestion.)

length/girth/appalling body odour
(Not very much gravitas at all, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 22:30, Reply)

When i was a kid
Well from when i was born my parents ran a pub in south Manchester and we lived in the flat above it. Anyhow from as far back as i can remember there was a decent sized room up there that my parents dident use for anything, it had no carpet, no wall paper. It only had weights and stuff that my dad would use as a mini home gym.

Since it was a pub on a main road me and my mates could never play on the street as it was to busy/dangerous. We would always play about in the pubs garden or upstairs in the flat.

Obviously having a empty room with no carpet it was great to play in. (Remember this was from when i was born till i was 7) The room would always give me and my mates the creeps though, like someone was watching us, we would always get a cold tingle down our necks, or the door would open/close itself.

My parents hated me or even themselves going in there.

turns out the guy who owned the pub before we did hung himself in there.
( Gaz, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 20:44, Reply)

Fame!
First, a disclaimer. I wasn't there for this, but it has been relayed to me many times by people who were and I know it to be true.

When my beloved was a teenager, she, and her friends Amy and Ruth, decided to try a Ouija board to get in touch with the other side.

Not having the correct equipment they used the following -

Bits of ripped up paper on which they have written letters and the words 'Yes' and 'No'

The lid of a can of hairspray

AND

A Fame! double album (opened at the gatefold obviously)

And guess what - they managed to contact an actual ghost! Ruth asked most of the questions but she was in NO WAY faking it. An actual ghost was actually guiding their hands on the hairspray can lid, and making it move around the bits of ripped up paper on the Fame! double album.

At one point, Ruth asked 'Do you want me to help the hairspray can lid over the crease in the middle of the album?' And guess what - The Actual Ghost said Yes!

It transpired that the actual ghosts name was DAVID, and DAVID had come to visit them because... and remember Ruth was NOT faking this... DAVID was in love with Ruth. Why would a teenage girl make up a thing like that?

But there was a problem, DAVID had a girlfriend in the spirit world.

'What is your girlfriends name?' asked the three teenage girls.

The answer gradually spelt itself out on that Fame! double album

E
N
O
P

ENOP!

A name to be feared throughout this world and the next!

At this stage, my beloved and her friend Amy were laughing too hard to continue.

To this day - and now she is 29 years old - Ruth denies that she was faking it.

And she gets really mad if you remind her that ENOP is out to get her.
(Newton Crosby, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 20:44, Reply)

Eldraduffin - just u wait
Until the cnuts take nearly 2 grand.. and see local single mums driving around in better cars than what you have..
(The_artist_formally_known_as_alz0r, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 18:47, Reply)

.
I messed with your mums dark side.
(scumbum, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 18:41, Reply)

Behold!
The tax man cometh!

I finally gave in to the need for money (bad move I know) and got a job, going along okay, fill in forms etc.

Get first paycheck - over £100 pounds in tax in one month! I know this probably isn't much to you with proper jobs but for me with a likkle job, its quite a big deal.

Damn the Inland Revenue - wait, they already are!
(Eldraduffin is not paranoid, they ARE all out to get him., Sat 22 Apr 2006, 17:35, Reply)

My sexy clone.
Staying with the missus about a year ago, her parents were away so we'd set up camp in their bedroom with the big bed, etc.

We decided to go to the pub for a while, and returned at around 12am. Not very drunk, just slightly pissed, if that.

Got into bed, the usual. At around 2am I was awoken by her hitting me to death. I asked her what the hell she was doing, and she told me she was checking I was still there because she could see me stood at her side of the bed.

I told her to shut up.

Then I looked.

And there I was, watching us both. It was utterly bizarre.
(sporky, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 16:56, Reply)

i wasn't "messing with the dark side" but...
a couple of weeks ago my (computer) mouse became possesed like all of the sudden it would jerk this way and that randomly. i was so worried my computer had a deamon (which is probly what im going to do for the chanllange) i finally dicided to take the mouse apart. turns out i should have cleaned it. all the dust was messing it. i feel stupid.
(Rated Arrr for pirates and nudity, Sat 22 Apr 2006, 16:25, Reply)