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This is a question My Saviour

Labour leader Ed Miliband recently dashed into the middle of a road to save a fallen cyclist. Who has come to your rescue? Have you ever been the rescuer?

(, Thu 9 May 2013, 13:29)
Pages: Popular, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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An open communiqué to certain members of b3ta.
I wholly and unreservedly apologise to anyone who thought that I was in any way threatening Dr. Shambolics children with this post. I was not and had absolutely no intention of causing harm or distress.

I was in that post trying to suggest (as I do fairly regularly) that Dr. Shambolic seems to spend an inordinate amount of time on this site being rude, angry and arrogant to any number of posters for what seems to be no other reason than to be divisive. Time that he clearly isn't spending with his wife and children.
Hence - "Then again he'd have to step away from the computer in order to do so.
See you here again later today, tomorrow morning & tomorrow arvo then Shambo?"

There is strong anecdotal evidence that children of neglectful parents are often at higher risk of being groomed by paedophiles.
As a parent I attempt to structure my time online to not interfere with my valuable downtime with my family. As making snide and nasty comments about other posters on a comedy website is slightly less important to me than spending time with my family.

I would like to thank the brave, principled, morally righteous person who dobbed me into the mods.
I hope they will be there for me next time posters on this comedy website are talking about my wife being "double-teamed as I watch crying" or when certain posters discuss how they would like to have a "pool party at my house where my 8 yo. daughter could be passed around to be abused". Because of course moral guardians are always impartial. Aren't they?
I'd like to ask whichever moderator it was that stepped me why is it ok for other non-story posters (as in posters who regularly come here to stir shit and not post relevant stories) to respond to stories with comments like - "I hope you kill your family and then yourself" & "I hate you and I want you to die" amongst others? Whilst my comment was seen to be so reprehensible as to cause me to be stepped. Whilst many of these posters regularly post with seeming impunity.

Maybe I should spend less time writing stories based upon the nominated topic here each week and more time telling on these morally repugnant transgressors to the mods more regularly.
It's truly sad that people who tattle-tale on others are seen in such a negative light by most of society, as they are the pillars which hold up our staunch values and strong sense of ethical behaviour. Particularly on this site.

I would like to reiterate once more - I apologise for any pain and suffering I may have caused to whomever it was that took such umbrage at my comment as to tell on me to the mods and thus get me stepped.
I would apologise for posting off-topic but seeing as some posters regularly get away with posting single words as their /qowt story - fuck it.

NB: This may not be the best time to bring this up, but Shambles regularly has claimed that he has a way of circumventing ignore2.0 by not having to logout and then back in to read users posts that either he has on ignore or or have him on ignore. He has me on ignore and has done for some time. Yet constantly is able to respond to my post, supposedly without having to logout and then log back in again. According to him.
Personally I feel that unless he is a moderator himself Shirley this is going against the very spirit of ignore2.0 and is also using a work-around to cheat an implementation by the site's mods to ensure that if you have someone on ignore they cannot read your posts and you cannot read theirs. And if he is a mod then taunting users with his "I can see you but you an't see me" attitude isn't exactly "mod-like" behaviour is it?
I'd hate to think that someone wasn't playing by the rules. That would be absolutely awful.

EDIT: "banned" changed to "stepped".
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 21:49, 45 replies)

It's really not that difficult - I suspect Shambo only makes such a fuss about it because it's the first time he's ever declined a cookie.

You don't seem very banned to me. Unless I've finally developed some sort of nerdy Sixth Sense, or something.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 21:54, closed)
"I see B&d People."
would be a good sig tho.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 7:44, closed)
Shambles is intentionally funny.
You're unintentionally funny. HTH xx
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 22:02, closed)
Morning Plummie.
Much on for the w/end?
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 22:17, closed)
this and that yeah

(, Fri 10 May 2013, 22:40, closed)
Me too.

(, Fri 10 May 2013, 22:46, closed)

I like the way you end your posts with "HTH". It makes you sound like a mildly retarded lisping snake.

hthhhhhhh.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:15, closed)
look, no offence, but I hope you kill your family and then yourself

(, Fri 10 May 2013, 22:42, closed)
could you do us a favour
and not be such a dull cunt all the time?

ta
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:04, closed)
STOP MOANING ABOUT SHIT
AND ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU CUNT

I couldn't give a rats ass unless it involves saving/saviors or at the very least a weak pun

or star wars make some effort for fuck sake
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:07, closed)
Here's a challenge -
Check shambo's best of - here. And then check mine and tell me which of us regularly comes here to post a story based upon the nominated topic each week. Consistently.
Then tell me who comes here and does not much more than belittle posters. Constantly.
If you can, be objective - then get back to me.
Cheers.
EDIT: I should also point out that many of my "best of's" have also featured on the front page each week. I say this because I know how important that is to AB in particular.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:44, closed)
Yes but lately you seem to be little more than an attention seeking bellend.
And you're not even very good at that.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:53, closed)
I swear someone behind that chin just said something.

(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:57, closed)
I like how your 'best of's features at least one semi-literate 'I hate nasty trolls' whine
Way to prove your point there.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:11, closed)
I must be really, really thick.
Cause regardless of what you call "semi-literate" (trust me - if you're setting the bar then I'm fucking Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare and James Joyce all rolled into 1), if I don't like nasty trolls then - yes I must be proving my point fairly well.
Repeatedly.
Sometimes on the Popular Page no-less.
EDIT: For the pedants - I put the "fucking" in so that one of you might pickup on it and then I could make a joke about AB's sexual proclivities.
Go on. You know you want to.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:21, closed)
If you're trying to argue 'I stay on topic more than Shambles does' then your own popular page disproves it right there.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:24, closed)
How?
Precisely please.
Showing working and proof.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:32, closed)
Ok now this is obviously a bit of a challenge for you but I'll try and explain
my reply was what we call a 'joke' I was trying to be 'funny'

I was of course calling you a cunt while I was doing it but in the 10 years or so I have frequented this site I have been called a cunt, a twunt, a bellend, a splerging fucklord the other day by Janet (i think she fancies me), and numerous other insults. It is the juice by which B3ta runs it's why we come here. For the banter for the comedy 2 and fro and the of the cuff irreverent insulting humorous name calling.

Don't like it? go it mumsnet you tedious prick (that wasn't trying to be funny BTW I just think you are a tedious prick)

This is a very rushed post I have stuff to do it's the weekend ....
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:37, closed)
I think janet kinda fancies everyone.
But there isn't a bargepole long enough.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:51, closed)
lol irony

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:53, closed)
you are Alanis Morrisette
aicmfp
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 10:53, closed)
all this is giving me a headache

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 13:46, closed)
I'm Jack Ruby's comedy account.

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 13:54, closed)
Three of your top five don't directly relate to the question
compared to one of shambolic's. Besides, isn't the point to answer the question, not to 'tell a story'?
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 15:53, closed)
Jesus fucking christ, nobody actually gives a shit.

(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:20, closed)
some posters regularly get away with posting single words as their /qowt story
ban this sick filth.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:57, closed)
alright

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 18:50, closed)
Look mate I'm fairly new at this QOTW lark but I already
have the impression that you don't really get it and that you are hurting yourself on here.
Hope I'm wrong. You seem a decent sort really.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:28, closed)
I do get it, I'm not hurting & thank you.
I'm pleased to say that you seem a fairly decent person too.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:37, closed)
Gotcha!

(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:41, closed)

Is it just the one pheasant revolting, then?

Doesn't seem like much of a movement.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:47, closed)
I'm quite partial to a roasted bird.
It goes lovely with peas.
Or so I'm told.
(, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:54, closed)
It is just one pheasant.
You've probably noticed he's had little effect.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 9:10, closed)

The Wolfie Smith of the avian world.

Most delicious revolution ever.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:32, closed)
Power to the poultry!

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 23:22, closed)
I thought Shambolic was just a shitty bot?
I'd always assumed it posted random wank it googled and was quite impressed it was on-topic most of the time.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 0:01, closed)
The hours he spends here
he'd want to be.
That or be catheterised.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 0:05, closed)
alright?
cheers.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 0:45, closed)
alright

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:57, closed)
tl;dr: butthurt shit tier betafag

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:33, closed)
hello 4chan!

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:36, closed)
jimmies: rustled

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:38, closed)
Sorry. You're right.
Oh, wait, wait.

"sry. ur not doing it rong."

Hello 9gag.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:41, closed)


(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:53, closed)
I wish I could get upset about stuff
online.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:55, closed)
Bro.
rong meme. :[
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:57, closed)
not alright

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:41, closed)
That extra word must have been a struggle.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:41, closed)
Conversely, mashing your retarded appendages against the keyboard in a foam flecked fury of self-righteous imbecility
seems to be quite an easy task for you. Played.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:50, closed)
Jesus.
Literate, lucid & full of shit. Quite the catch aren't you?
And here I was thinking you were just a one-trick-pony.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 1:58, closed)
I'm actually quite hurt that you've failed to appreciate the Pinteresque nuance of my gnomic utterances on qotw
Still, you're a prolix self-obsessed touchy little fuckwit, your loss.
alright.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:05, closed)
Soz.
Never meant to hurt your feelings.
As you say... my loss.
Cheers.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:07, closed)
Cheers

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:08, closed)
Look, I'll level with you.
I'm letting the sprog and missus sleep in today as we've got an early match tomorrow (on Mother's Day FFS!), so as long as I don't snigger too loudly then I'm here all morning.
Alright?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:18, closed)
OK, cards on the table
You should set fire to your pig ugly wife and your deeply spasticated child then do the honourable and kill yourself.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:26, closed)
There we go!
You want to turn yourself in or shall I head to the /mailus page?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:28, closed)
Forum banter, great times

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:31, closed)
Considering that you're one of the most vocal, ignorant and incoherent hate-mongering reactionaries on here,
shouldn't we be the ones turning you in on the /mailus page?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:36, closed)
I think you may need to look at ajarn_B's post below.
But I'll bite - could you please furnish me with some proof of your allegations? Please.
Specifically where I've told people I hate them an I want the to die, where I've passed comment on the retardation levels of their children or how large their wives are.
That kinda thing.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:48, closed)
She's not large
She's pig fucking ugly. Comprehension not a strong point?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:50, closed)
YM
Sorry cowfoot - gotta go. Got vaccying and some house cleaning to do now everyone's up. I want to make the house nice for my beautiful wife for Mum's Day tomorrow.
You got that someone special something nice for that day?
Bet she'll love Terry's Choc Orange. Again. Nothing says "I love you mum/mother of my children" than something from the late-nite servo.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:58, closed)
The specimen appears to be highly belligerent and prone to slander, and has no apparent sense of humility or self-awareness.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 21:10, closed)
Don't disturb it
It'll be sending the mods a 1,000 word essay on how hard done by it is.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:49, closed)
Pot.....
.....Kettle... Cunt?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:23, closed)
ive saved 3 lives that im aware of.
my lil sister 2wice & some mad bird who 'fell' onto a train track...

if youve never tried lifting a human-sized deadweight above your head while 'security' blow whistles at you and the public pull their camera phones out & dont help you aint lived son!

ringofyre i wish you really were banned, or at least force fed pubes until u shut the fuck up you whining, pissbag of a cunt!

'the internets are picking on meeeeeeeee.....'
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:22, closed)
You seem like a very strong powerful man.
Full of the milk of human kindness and a true hero.

I'm ever so sorry that my post has upset you so much.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 2:31, closed)
the fuck is this, now?
somebody screencap this for when ringo sobers up.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 3:35, closed)
Why is it janet
that you always assume that I'm drunk?
And not just an absolute fucking nutter like yourself?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 3:44, closed)
benefit of the doubt.
if you're not pissed you are actually utterly fucking tragic. what on earth are you hoping to achieve?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 3:46, closed)
Since you're here now
being all upset then I'd say I pretty much achieved what I set out to do.
Cheers.
I'll be hitting the bottle later this arvo - I'll skol a couple for you.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 3:59, closed)
I'm not upset, I'm embarrassed for you.
nice try on the legless defence though.

cheers.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 4:03, closed)
You embarrassed for me?
I am indeed humbled.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 4:07, closed)
haha, yeah.
fucking hell.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 4:10, closed)
SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
Seriously, you're extraordinarily boring. You disrupt the board more than anyone else with these ten thousand word 'explanations'. No-one cares. Call a fucking helpline or something, you humourless windbag.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 7:14, closed)
Oh God.
Another one.
Fuck, I am actually getting a bit tired now.

Oh well. Another day, another TTT session. (Ask AB about the "TTT" ref. if you don't know it).
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 7:37, closed)
But you're not TTT, we're all still laughing at you because you're still just making a complete fucking twat of yourself.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:03, closed)
Fuck me!
It never stops.
Chin.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:07, closed)
How do you not see this?

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:10, closed)
He's genuinely too thick and emotionally stunted to realise.
Good innit?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 13:01, closed)

I shall be still and blithely watch how you, the devil, and your tripe vainly fret and torment yourself, and blubber and writhe, achieving naught but to make us laugh and make you own case worse.

Indeed, I should like to see you speak aloud what you write, for if you did, the people would gather chains and bars and out of compassion would seize and bind you as a maniac.

Failing this, then, perhaps at God's prompting, oxen and swine would trample you to death with their horns and hoofs.

You tedious, tragic, tumescent prick.
(, Tue 14 May 2013, 1:37, closed)
I remember
when all this round 'ere were fields.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 8:04, closed)
With housing estates on them.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 9:20, closed)
You do realise that you're basically pinning a "Kick me" sign
to your own back?

Edit, regarding your edit: I hardly think that running a separate browser session counts as 1337 h4xx0rin9.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 9:37, closed)
Meh...
Look at what I have to lose.
EDIT: Agreed about the cookies/etc. but shambo likes to crow about how he's playing one over me (us) so you kinda have to humour him. At least a little bit.
Then again I just logout and then back in again. Since I have one of these new fangled browser thingies that can store my username and password, takes me seconds.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 10:03, closed)
Your last shred of dignity.
And your b3ta account.

You appear to value the latter more than the former.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 10:18, closed)
It's clear what you value the most.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:10, closed)
So, if neither of you is ignoring the other,
what are we talking about?
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:22, closed)
Dunno really.
I did find this gem from shambo the other day tho.
I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
For the record - I don't have him on ignore.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 11:28, closed)
I got stepped once.
I didn't fucking cry about it though.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 10:07, closed)
This must be my 3rd I think.
And look at the turnout for it.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 10:12, closed)


(, Sat 11 May 2013, 17:53, closed)
Dickie Davies Eyes!

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 18:39, closed)
God
I could murder a Cadburys Flake.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 18:59, closed)


(, Sat 11 May 2013, 18:55, closed)
Still here? Still ignoring me?
I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 23:46, closed)
Hahahahahaha.
Christ you are thick.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 8:02, closed)
Hmm.
That response really doesn't work in your favour. I think you maybe a little confused. Or drunk. Or both.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 9:18, closed)
Is it not fair to say that you are a monstrously idiotic cunt?
I'd like to think that I'm one of the more balanced and less judgmental semi-regulars.

You are a monstrously idiotic cunt.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 19:55, closed)
Have a snickers, ringo.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 20:31, closed)
I do like this post.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 23:18, closed)


(, Sat 11 May 2013, 21:38, closed)
Well that worked out well.
I especially liked the bit where shambo deleted his post about handing out my password in a most dignified manner.
(, Sat 11 May 2013, 23:06, closed)
He is N3o.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 23:30, closed)
I knew those blue diet pills
were a crock!
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 0:38, closed)
I like how you changed and lost your name twice because you weren't worried about it.
And you're too stupid to even realise that you've been socially hacked. Herp derp dermmmm.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 8:03, closed)
I haven't got a clue what any of this is about, but I'd just like to contribute to the reply count.

(, Sat 11 May 2013, 23:51, closed)
I am blushing on your behalf

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 0:30, closed)
Thank you.

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 0:45, closed)
When was the last amusing item he ever posted?
Monkeys on typewriters eventually will write Shakespeare, you know.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 1:23, closed)
This is going terribly well.
Has anybody actually bothered to read the OP yet?
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 8:01, closed)
You still here? Ignoring me?
I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 9:10, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/mysaviour/post1960012
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 9:18, closed)
You could always just try posting a concise, literate and funny story.

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 14:34, closed)
Jesus fucking christ man
Have a bit of dignity.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 14:45, closed)
It's at least two years too late for that.

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 14:57, closed)
I want to be a part of this.
I love you all.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 15:54, closed)
You awful bully.

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 16:10, closed)
LEAVE ME ALONE SHAMBO YOUR NOT MY MUM!!111111...1111ELEVENTY-ONE1!!

(, Sun 12 May 2013, 17:50, closed)
Hmm...
...amount of posters that have come out of this with dignity = 0.

Me included.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 17:43, closed)
I have nothing to add to this.
I just wanted to be here.
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 23:08, closed)
95
Where did all the other replies go?
(, Sun 12 May 2013, 23:30, closed)

http://b3ta.com/questions/mysaviour/post1960115
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 0:52, closed)
Can I join in the fun?
Seems all you popular types are in here having a blast.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:29, closed)
Oh shit, I think I fucked the threadcount up with a pointless edit.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 1:07, closed)

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