Announcement
I just bought a fucking awesome suit.

That is all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 15:41, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Theiving little cunt!
Usually, when I stay at my boyfriends I take my bag upstairs with me on a night. A couple times I've left it downstairs and there's been $5-$10 missing the next day, but I've usually put that down to forgettign I spent it on beer.

Well last night, I'd collected over $100 that was owed to me by a friend, and stupidly left my bag downstairs. This morning, it was in a different place and $40 was missing.

My boyfriends daughter is going to be in a whole world of shit when she wakes up.
Theiving little cunt.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 15:01, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so i'm at my dad's this weekend
and my itunes is on his computer. i need some good new music for the car/tube. what are all you crazy kids listening to and liking these days??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 11:17, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

it's saturday! another week older and still alive...

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 28 Mar 2009, 8:24, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

woo and indeed Yay!
I got a second job.
this job has internetz.
It's reception which means once all my jobs are done I can fuck around all day until it's time to go home just waiting for people to show up!
wheeee I'm on the internets at work! I feel like I've finally become part of the group of time wasters :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 28 Mar 2009, 5:35, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Friday night
and it's a Home Sweet Home thread with a picture.

WOO!


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 21:00, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a confession
In maths yesterday - I got so bored that I played Tetris.

On graph paper.

For two hours.

And then swore and scrunched it up when I realised I wouldn't win.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 27 Mar 2009, 19:56, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Passive-aggressive telling off
From the newsletter:

New question: Nativity Plays
And if you have nothing to say on the subject
then please use /offtopic rather than posting
on the main thread. Cheers."

I hope you all feel suitably cunted in the fuck. Discuss.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 16:40, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Inappropriate Picture
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7967968.stm

4. The Great Outdoors.

Why is that woman topless? Was it taken from some kind of readers wives website?

I want answers BBC!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 15:11, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I didn't
get anywhere near the Spanky page this week :-(

Must try harder.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 13:56, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Magic Roundabout
If you didn't already know, when the French sold us Magic Roundabout they forgot to send us the audio or any storylines. So someone had to watch each episode, name the characters and create a stoyline based on what was happening.

Can any of you skilled enough do the same with the Russian animation thing I posted on /Links earlier?

www.b3ta.com/links/Animation_from_the_USSR

Preferably with lots of tongue in cheek Soviet jokes.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 13:13, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Online polls
How can I get the poll softwere that people post on here? As in the one used by rob to ask us what was the worst/best thing about school.

Im doing a fundrasing event and the only way we can decide on who to raise money for, is an online poll of charities
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 12:50, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

YAY for me
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE
Happy Birthday to me!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 12:45, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home shoe Home
What no thread? But I need mindless inane chat to get me through Friday


( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 10:30, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The F1 season starts this weekend.
I'm erect excited. I'm no petrolhead, but I've been watching grands prix since I was a nipper.

Is anyone else stupidly excited? Or do you look down upon me?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 9:22, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...
To Spikeypickle!



He's *cough* *cough* years old today!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 9:13, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Brilliant
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2009/mar/26/my-little-pony-film-characters-pictures?picture=345032718

These are brilliant! I want them all. Except the Edward Scissorhands who scares the crap out of me. I reckon they could've done some more...

Superman would've been great, or catwoman.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 7:48, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's that time again:
The next instalment:






As always, links to all previous comics are here.
( Cawl, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 0:26, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Edinbash
It strikes me that a number of people are travelling up and making a weekend of it.

So if anyone fancies a bit of a microbash on the Friday...? I know this nice little pub with a resident live band on...

Call it a practice run.

Bash now up:

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/18993
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 21:03, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need to know
if a b3tan did this:

news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat/newsid_7961000/7961224.stm
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 20:08, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yay! It's Thursday evening
Happy Thursday everyone!


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 20:05, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

b3tans
what should I use to rip a DVD to avi?

not my cock, or my teeth
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 18:05, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh Internet, how predictable you are
In a system that allows users to create their own content, developers measure the time it takes for someone to make a penis.

That time is often measured in seconds.

I know when I first created the b3tamap there was a giant cock in Siberia about an hour after I announced it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:46, Reply)

Never heard of this before
For the past few days, the other half's car has been making a strange hissing noise when he hit the accelerator. We couldn't get to the bottom of it until we were unloading some shopping from the boot yesterday and spotted a lock of black hair hanging out of the exhaust.

A closer look indicated that someone had stuffed the exhaust full of it. Jet black human hair.

What the fuck?

I mean, I've heard of bananas, spuds, even a dildo being found in one's (car's) tailpipe but this is a new one for me and him both. There's some fucking odd people in this neck of the woods, for sure.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:04, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sheesh!
I just had a woman in my office who is 24 years old and has 5 kids.

The phrase "Please, for the love of god, close your legs" may have passed my lips....

that is all.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:56, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When you feel down...
...be glad you aren't these people: www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/03/26/couple.lives.with.ex/index.html

I mean, can you imagine going through life with the last name of Arce?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:43, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh god...
www.straightdope.com/columns/read/57/what-can-i-do-to-get-someone-to-fall-out-of-love

This is right up your alley, b3ta. Just make sure that you've eaten before you read it, and are not drinking anything that will hurt if it shoots out of your nose.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:07, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Am I missing something?
Ok

Mailed my GF today to say that I couldn't stay all weekend as I've got a massively busy day on Mon so wanted to head off from hers on sun...

She then starts saying that she doesn't want to see me at all this weekend instead, I suggest that;s a bit soft and instead one night isn't too bad and then suggest we just do the Friday if she's got stuff to do...

She still thinks that we shouldn't meet up at the weekend...

Am I missing something because I was going to head off a bit handy on one day? Did I do something massively wrong? Should I just Man The Fuck Up and leave it at that?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 14:01, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just another rant...
...I've always had a fascination with electronics - indeed, I've got the lights in my house controlled via a pics controller on my PC, and will have the heating etc... done this weekend.

....but I've never really understood what it is I am doing, so I thought I'd get a night class booked.

Just went to the governments list of night schools/classes, and I can learn Falconry, Soft Furnishings and Good Citizenship etc...

...but elecronics? Plumbing? Woodwork?

Not a sign of any of them.

/bah
(dchurch bah, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:57, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)