Copyright Messages
Now, don't desert me on this one...

..we've all seen the usual DVD 'authorised for home use only' message at the start of the usual hollywood letdown.

Can someone please explain to me how OIL RIGS got included in the list of 'places outside the definition of "home".

Seriously - what happened to the last trading standards/FACT official that landed in the middle of the North Sea to find some oily riggers watching a copied VHS of Terminator 2 that prompted their inclusion on the list of places you can't view DVDs...
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sat 16 May 2009, 0:04, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This site was in the newsletter
Has anyone else got as far through looking at the pics as this one?

Wtf?

I mean... wtf??

My mind doesn't know whether to boggle or boke.

Wtf???
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 15 May 2009, 22:53, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Rejoice with me!
I get to take an actual proper day off this weekend for the first time in a month. Now what can I do?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 May 2009, 21:58, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Only a day or so late, but I just wanted to say,
Obama: Pictures, or it didn't happen.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 15 May 2009, 20:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ARGGGGH!
I flippin hate packing. In 5 hours I need to get on a bus to stansted airport, and I've got so much stuff to do..... bath, hair removal, pack clothes, find passport. Print bus tickets. Who knows what else. Why on earth can't I be more organised?

Please b3tans, keep me feeling sane with your pre-holiday tales?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 20:14, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I only had to sit one of my three exams today
80% with no revision as I'd forgotten to study for that one.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 15 May 2009, 18:48, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ouch!
My mother just sent me this link to a product with the message "Who says sewing can't be fun?"

www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23847213&ref=sr_gallery_7&&g

yikes!
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 15 May 2009, 16:12, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Probably been covered somewhere else, but...
...can someone explain the whole Honda Accord thing to me?
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:03, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Leaving on a jet plane!
Bye for the weekend, heading off to Arizona for some fun and some sun!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:01, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Having had some dental work done on Tuesday
I am currently dosed up to the tits on (fairly strong) painkillers.

Having not had any for a while, I feel a bit spaced out; what are the best painkillers you've had, and why?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:23, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

budgie has last laugh
news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_8040000/newsid_8045200/8045254.stm
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:13, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just had a lunch meeting
with some fucker from Luxembourg. I sort of phased out half way through because all I could think was: I bet it would be dead easy if I aquired my own private army someday to invade your country, what with it being so small.

But then I came to my senses over coffee - why the fuck would I want to invade Luxembourg anyway. Brazil would be better, what with the beaches, sexy ladies, and copious amounts of peyote.

So, my question is - what country would you like to invade and why???
( SpankyHanky, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:44, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's political correctness gone mad, I tell you!
www.bbspot.com/News/2009/05/rejected-iphone-app.html
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Brilliant
a literal egg on face story.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/8051673.stm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:11, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Somethings been on my mind for ages
Just can't get it out of my head. And what with the QOTW being a little, well, serious for the likes of me this week I'd just like to ask:

Has anyone else tried insertng a cocktail stick down their (or someone elses) japs eye???
( SpankyHanky, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:11, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stop it!
All this talk of bullying, rape, suicide and eating at Greggs is really putting a downer on my day - so to make the world feel right I am off for a quick lunchtime wank.

How are you going to heal the world and make it a better place?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:06, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pay day!
I shall treat myself with a walk into town, its a toss up between Greggs and Subway.

I am considering getting a new game for my Xbox, any suggestions? Already got Fallout, GTA and Pro Evo.
(TheColonel, Fri 15 May 2009, 12:28, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to have a mini rant about the QotW
Read a few, then decided to read the lot... this stuff is (apart from the sillies and funnehs - good willy pubes!) on the whole pretty damned personal, deep and often painful stuff.

So I thought I'd try to do my best to read everyone's story.

Then I keep reading stuff from some twunts having a go at people for not "getting over" the shit that happened to them in the past.

The "oh, I've been bullied, but I got over it, so you should have, too" comments are making my fucking blood boil. As are the comments that people are seeking out sympathy by posting on there.

I am aware that those are minority views, but I need to rant because I want to scream at them

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE BY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!

I neither judge people who've gone on to not give a shit about what happened to them, or those that are seriously mentally scarred from their experiences.

Thing is, I'm not THEM, so I have no right to say how they should be now.

And neither does any other self-righteous dick.


Good on you for manning the fuck up, some other people weren't so lucky and you're being an ignorant, arrogant shit if you think that all people should react in the same way as you.

Fuck off.



I'm not ranting because I didn't get over it, I'm ranting because I might not have, had things worked out differently, and I'd be very sore if I thought people were blaming my problems on me not "getting over it", rather than the emotional turmoil I'd experienced during the formative years of my character.

Post your story of success by all means, but do not judge others by how you turned out. It's unfair. And pretty unpleasant, too.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 15 May 2009, 12:11, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, bullies
I would imagine that you all agree that the best thing that could happen to a 14 year old girl who bullies other people is that they could be raped and then commit suicide.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 15 May 2009, 11:54, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Business opportunities
Without fear of monopolising Off Topic today and having you make all my life decisions for me...

One of my drivers came to me today and said,

"I'm sick of this taxi lark. If you can set up a business with less than five thousand pounds that will pay us both what we're earning now within six months, I'll start it up.'

So I got to thinking. Then I came up blank. Then I thought I'd ask you. Then I did. And here we are.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 11:00, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A silly idea?
Apparently in one of David Tennants final episodes as Dr Who they are going to introduce the Doctors mum!

angrywhofan.blogspot.com/2009/04/doctor-whos-mum.html

A wank idea? I think so.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:52, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, grooming products...
I keep seeing Nivea for Men adverts. Ugh.

I've always been a bit skeptical that moisturising and grooming products make any fundamental or long-term difference to the aging or appearance of your skin. Can these products really do a better job than a few million years of evolution is doing?

I'd like to hear your opinion, boys and girls.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:05, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood Morning, my b3tan lovelies
And a very happy POETS day to you today.

Today is also the 28th birthday of the (somewhat delectable) Zara Phillips.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 15 May 2009, 8:19, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I swear, some people are idiots!
I mean, what kind of person takes a bag of laundry down to wash, forgets to put laundry detergent in and then realises after doing the drying IT'S THE WRONG SODDING BAG! Dumbass! *right, better go put the bag of laundry I need in*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:38, Reply)

help!
a while ago for a qotw someone put up some facebook script that showed your own profile picture, mead me jump. does anyone please post the link to that post,or to the particular qotw it came from?
(papa bouba slap your face, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:35, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Hello QOTW.
SHOW ME YOUR ELBOWS.

www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/6508.photo0063.jpg
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:17, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question Time
Has been quite entertaining tonight, what with all the MP's expenses kerfuffle.

The camera zoomed in on a young chap in a tie who was eloquently making his point about something just a moment ago.

Unfortunately, just behind him was a cleavage that the cameraman seemed more focussed on so I didn't really hear what he was saying.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:19, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

humus
I've just seen the UKIP broadcast for the forthcoming European elections. It was the funniest thing I've seen all day. I expected there to be a message at the end "In association with the Daily Mail"

Are they assuming the irony will be lost on the voters? Why the UKIP is in the European elections?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 14 May 2009, 22:47, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you remember how I was offered a permanent job?
You remember, I have a maternity cover job and then I was asked if I'd like to stay on full time.

Well the boss said that I could have the job but I might need to apply.
Fair doos I thought.

Well now I have to do a full interview and interview lesson, and she has said I might not even get the job.

FUCKER!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 14 May 2009, 21:47, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)