Aaarrghh!
I have been singing and humming the song from 'Strawberry Pancakes" for almost an hour now and it is beginning to drive everyone barmy.

www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Strawberry+Pancakes/ if there's a very slim chance you don't know it)

What's your ear-worm today?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 13:55, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've seen a guy I like on a dating website but he's 59.
I'm tempted bar three problems that might arise.

1, His libido would probably be a lot lower than mine.

2, When he's retired, I will still have many years of work and that will piss me off.

3, I'd have to keep going to London to visit him and I hate London.

What shall I do?
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 13:28, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last minute reminder/pimpage
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/17043

Come buy me drinks tonight! :-)
(bill, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 13:07, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A Quick Question
Does the guy on JamesCartercomedy have Autism?


(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 12:53, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Hello monkey felchers
I've been learning the endocrine system this morning and now know how to get from Indiana Jones to Hyperthyroidism in three easy steps.

What have you learnt today and is it acceptable to discuss on this, the most serious of the b3ta boards?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 12:48, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

important news
I just bought a packet of beef monster munch, and they are back the way they used to be. massive and beefy.

like ym
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 12:12, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oooooooh dear
One of my office colleagues has gone rather pale. He's decided to inform us he's pushed a fart too far... does anyone here have to cope with weird colleagues?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 17 Jul 2009, 11:54, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

England are a bit shit at cricket
After doing really rather well yesterday, they've lost two wickets in an over.

I hope we draw again.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 11:17, 73 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Secret Power
If you had some sort of telekinetic mind-power thing where you could make a woman orgasm (or a bloke spunk his pants if you're that way inclined) just by thinking about it, would you ever get bored of doing it to random strangers?

The temptation to park outside an all-girls sixth form college would see you stripped of the power. be too much to resist. Time it just as they leave the building to see if you can cause a pile up.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 11:12, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You know who we haven't seen much of recently?
That lovely Wormulus chap. His accounts been deleted. Which is sad, as there won't be anymore cock tuesdays.

edit - quick grammar question. If you use the phrase "It's Dave's birthday" is it "It's" or should it be "its"?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:30, 69 replies, latest was 10 months ago)

So,
I was sitting at home last night, On the phone, when suddenly the power went off. As my music had turned off too, I could hear that there was a hell of a storm blowing outside, lightning and thunder. Exciting stuff.
Anyway, my question is "Do you think that "Clean Coal" power generation is actually clean?" working in the lab late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight, for my monster from his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise, he did the mash.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:23, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, I was sitting at home last night,
On the phone, when suddenly the power went off.
As my music had turned off too, I could hear that there was a hell of a storm blowing outside, lightning and thunder. Exciting stuff.
Anyway, my question is "Do you think that "Clean Coal" power generation is actually clean?"
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:15, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sad
Bah!

I'm feeling particularly shit this morning.
It was end of term last night, so the wife was out (again) enjoying herself. Me, I was at home with 3 kids - after being up since 4am, doing a 9 hour shift. When she evenually rolled in at 11, she was in possession of four bottles of wine - but as I was working at 5 this morning, I couldn't have any.
So, no real sleep in the past 72 hours. No alcohol for the last week and it's pissing with rain. Is it possible to get seasonal affective disorder in July?

So how shit is everyone else feeling this morning?
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:34, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've been progressively getting more and more angry
and tetchy and irritable over the past few weeks. I constantly feel like I'm on the edge of an apocalyptic eruption of uncontainable fury directed at the next person who gets on my tits. Boo hoo, poor me etc.

What are your patented ways of relieving anger and frustration?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:15, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here's a question
Imagine yourself in a situation where you are lucky enough to get backstage tickets to a concert by a band that you have followed for years and think are amazing.

So, you toddle backstage after a great show and meet your idols in the flesh. What do you talk about? What do you actually do?

And worse, what if, after some mumbled small talk while they make it obvious they would rather be fucking a groupie you realise that the people you have elevated to near godlike status in your mind think you're a cock. Or indeed, even worse, what if they turn out to be complete tossers?

SO my question dear b3tans is this. Should you meet your heroes? And if you do, what do you talk about, especially if you're the sort of person for whom small talk does not come easily.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:13, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here's a cheery tale for a Friday morning
Never eat an alligator!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 8:34, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mornin!
I have a dicky stomach, and also had a bad night's sleep. I'm too tired and weary to go to work. I don't want any 'emergencies' either. I know. I'm pathetic. How do you lot plan to be pathetic today?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 8:10, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Holy Fuck Pops!
I just checked back here on b3ta and I have won the muhfuh'kin qotw. Well. Well, I never. Thanks b3tans.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 22:49, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I love rock and roll, so put another dime in the jukebox baby!
Fuck, I love fair season and there's another 4 weeks to go.
Tonight I'm going to see Joan Jett, and then on the 26th it's Blondie.
Friday night was Heart, Saturday was Duran Duran. Sometime in the next 4 weeks it's also Black Eyed Peas, and Kelly Clarkson (although I'm trying to lose the Kelly Clarkson ticket) In September, it's Pink and then October is Bjorn Again (yeah, ABBA fan here).

What concerts have you been to this year/or which concerts are you going to?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:17, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just a quick straw poll
Go here:
www.speedtest.net/

and post your results.

I got (down/up)
5.72M / 0.21M

Edit: What's your ISP? I'm with Karoo (like I have a choice)
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 21:00, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why am I
compelled to read, nay addicted, to a QOTW that I know will double my blood pressure?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:30, Reply)

Evening, all.
I have just cycled home in torrential rain; I'm now wetter than a pornstars clopper and grumpy to boot. Hopefully this shall be solved by wine and potato waffles. And a towel.

how're all of you?
(berk, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 20:16, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home
Now with more compact image


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 19:05, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I seem to have missed a lot today.
It's like OT has turned into the House of Commons, but with more people calling each other a cunt rather than 'the honourable gentleman'. Curse my job for keeping me away from all of the fun!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:24, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stunning
Sorry, I just had to post this here.

Pic and explanation in replies!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:13, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

thrips
is anyone else being plagued by these tiny wee beasties?

I am so sick of the fuckers. They keep on crawling over my screen, and looking like typos. And creeping over my arms and face, and down my top. I just fished several corpses out of my cleavage, as the stupid little bastards seem to really like it in there, not realising they will be crushed to death.

Anyone else wondering how long it will be before insects just take over the world?
( ascorbate, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:10, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Please stop being mean to Sir Knight Grey of Northumberland
He's a lovely boy but because you're scared of what you don't understand you bully him.

Sir Knight Grey of Northumberland I, Captain 'Catface' V, will stand by your side you complete and utter cunt
( Captain V, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:51, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You all ENJOY being stupid.

mod edit - stop

so which one of you grassed me up?
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:32, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)