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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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QOTD

Pooflakes latest effort reminded me of an OT idea I had the other day to stretch the bounds of creativity, innovation and spang-a-bility to the max.

The challenge is to think of a QOTW but don't tell us what it is. Then, construct a story culminating in a convoluted pun which answers the question. We then have to guess what your QOTW is by un-mangling the punchline.

I'll give it a go later when I can find the time, but feel free to start without me.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:16, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning folks
Come and get your early morning cup of vitriol here.

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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 7:46, 422 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Danada
was a lad I knew at university, at the age of 21, still had his V plates, poor lad, dont think he ever actually kissed a girl tbh...

He was introduced to the magic of 'gaiaonline.com', (an avatar based community site which some people here may be familiar with), where he got talking to some Canadian chick.
Somehow he fell in love with her, and somehow became girlfriend/boyfriend-before meeting of course.
He bragged about her at uni, he even used to call her and chat to her on his homephone, (im suprised his rents weren't sceptical about a series of international calls to canada on there phonebill) baring in mind that the timezone is different to UK so he could only talk to her at certain times.

the big day came when he decided he was going for it, he was going to jump the puddle to see his girlfriend in Canada for 3 months, the whole duration of the summer break, he blew his entire student loan installment on a plane ticket and a suit (in a bid to impress her), and the remains to be exchanged into canadian dollars.

he got there, and after a week or so he made contact with us only to tell us that its not going well...
(if you know 'she hates me' by puddle of mudd...well that pretty much sums up the situation), yea she decided she hated him, kicked him out her room, and the poor fella was stranded in canada until his flight home.

he returned to the UK as a wiser person and had to repeat his second year again due to not submitting any work for being away, he also didnt notify his parents where he was for the 3 months.

did he learn his lesson? I dont think so, the exact same thing happened the following year, except this new 'girlfriend' was from the US...

He got kicked outta uni due to poor attendance..
(Lord Chode, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 18:24, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

California's burning again
It's the time of year where the Santa Ana winds blow up - a dry, intense wind system (something about high pressure rushing in to low pressure) that sucks all moisture out of the air.
Perfect wind conditions for forest fires. So you get idiots who go hiking and leave a glass bottle around. Or who throw a lit cigarette out of their window. Whoompf! Suddenly, California starts burning.

Which means once again I am on the volunteer team to go up to the lake to dampen down everything, prepare the 200lb sturgeon rescue "kit" and to be there when needed in case the fires come close to the lake.

And I bet more fires break out today - usually arsonists who'll set them once the inital ones break out.

Grrrr!
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Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 18:23, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Evening Thread
It's my B3taday, so come one, come all!

Also, bring alcohol.

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Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:08, 189 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Story time!
Just for you, chickenlady.

Give me a few minutes to get it onto the replies.
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The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:55, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Secret
just discovered a book called this on a colleagues desk

then found this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_(2006_film)

anyone heard of it?

is it as big a pile of shit as I think it must be?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:05, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bit of Help
Good Afternoon all,

I've had a guitar for ages and want to learn properly, I've tried to teach myself but find it a bit difficult, can anyone recommend a good tutor or is willing to teach in the Chester/Wirral area?

Cheers!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:56, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As promised
Pics of the new kitty.

He no longer smells but he's still very, very thin - that won't last though, not at the rate he's hoovering up the grub.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:29, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is horrible...
Background: Over the summer, I bought a few tickets for gigs through Seetickets. When the tickets arrived, they came with vouchers for Virgin Wines. I signed up.

Part of the deal is that you become a member of the winebank. What this means is that, every month, they take £20 (or whatever) and you build up a credit.

In the three months since signing up, I had bought no wine from Virgin. I have bought wine from other people, though, so I decided to quit the Virgin scheme and get my money back to spend elsewhere. I got around to sorting that today - and have just received the following email:

Dear iain
What have we done wrong?
I offered to pay you WineInterest on the money you spend with us. And I promised to refund you for any wines you don't enjoy. But you've still decided to cancel your WineBank membership. Why?
If we have upset, or disappointed, you in any way, please accept my sincere apologies. We always try to make sure our customers are 100% happy with our wines and our service. But we're only human, and sometimes we mess up.
If we have done something wrong, please let me put it right. Drop me a line at [email protected] and I promise I'll sort it out.
In the meantime, your WineBank membership has been cancelled and £60.00 has been refunded on to your card. No further WineBank payments will be taken from you.

Just how patronising - and nauseating - is that?
(

Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:00, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Easy recipes.
Hit me up with your easy to make delicious recipes. No MSG and lard please. Here's a leek and potato soup.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:40, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home.
Could someone explain this meme please.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:59, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who Broke The All Flag?
Come on, own up.

I can't use www.b3ta.com/questions/spoiltbrats/all as it throws up a php error. So now I can't read the best stories until the question closes.

Cheers
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Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:39, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home, sweet home vs QOTD
Morning ppl! I'm in an... interesting mood today. Fell asleep last night feeling sad and it transferred to this morning.

So... bring on the bad jokes!

*fleetingly considers opening the gin*

QOTD: with thanks to The Stig - what would your last meal be, and why? Starter, main, dessert and a drink.

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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:37, 504 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Another legal type query
My boyfriend's brother's girlfriend recently moved from the Czech Republic to the UK for a few months, on a uni exchange program. she somehow ended up with a placement at Nottingham Trent, and was delighted at the opportunity.

However, before she moved over, the university were, let's say, next to fucking useless regarding finding her some accommodation.
Since I had just moved to the USA, and my boyfriend is living in London, we couldn't offer her much help except to not send money before she'd seen a place, and to hassle the uni acommodation office for help.

So, she found a place advertised on gumtree, sent them 400 quid for deposit, and duly arrived in Nottingham last week. where she found that the address she'd been given didn't actually exist (was an actual BUILDING SITE). So the 'agents' put her in another place, but not before demanding more cash. Luckily she kept her wits about her, and said she had none, so they could wait, but even so - she was placed in a property that was built, but had no gas, electricity, or running water...

After 3 days there (3!! I'd have lasted 20 minutes) she went to her uni help desk, and they gave her a room in halls.

So my question is this - how can she claim back the cash she handed over? Her uni accommodation office told her she'd never see it again, and there was nothing they can do to help, but when she called the 'agent's and threatened legal action they sent a man over on a bike with 100 quid in used notes, and told her that was the end of it. Is there anything else she can do?

Like I say, I'm not in the UK, so can't do a huge amount - I've recommended that she go to the CAB, but can't think of anything else except DO NOT SEND CASH OVER THE NET FOR A FLAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN. which may be too late for her.

ta in advance, helpful b3tans :-)
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ascorbate, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 18:38, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening All
Over 400 replies on the day thread - time to set up a new camp*!

*may include Gin
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 18:00, 212 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:40, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question for children owners
My GF has two lovely kids who get ever so spoilt with sweets. Well in my opinion anyway. There is always a ready supply of crisps and sweets in the house and they seem to get them whenever they want.I've always maintained that sweets and such like can be the cause of bad behaviour due to all the rubbish in them, but she says the bad behaviour when they do not receive them is far worse. Now I don't spend enough time with them to conduct sufficient experiments to conclude that sweets are indeed a cause of bad behaviour. What are your thoughts on the matter? Are they good or bad?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:10, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning b3tans
Today is the first day of my new job. Are you starting something new or going to be doing something for the first time today?

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mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:22, 408 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

QOTW's 'Off Topic' Greasemonkey script.... Nested Replys
Hi everyone,

Do you use Firefox?
Do you want to do nested replies like on /talk?
Do you ♥ me?

Well, if you answered YES to the above questions, check this shizzle out....

http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/35373.

(works with this addon in)
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 0:56, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

happy birthday
to me,

Im now 22, i am an old fuck
I like 22, not as much as 21 however

send me your bday wishes please, u lovely people
(Lord Chode, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 23:31, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have you pissed anyone off, today, and why?
I am an active member of immigrate2us.net, an immigration website that particularly specializes in I-601 waivers (basically, asking the US Government to forgive a misdeed - overstay on visa, petty crime, misrepresentation).
One OP posted that he lied on his immigration paperwork, and they're threatening to take away his green card. He asked that everyone pray to god that they'll just let it slide.
My response:

"Why do you think they'll just let it slide. Seriously, you lied on your paperwork and are now hoping they'll just get over it. Fact is, they will follow the rulebook and the rulebook states: (insert pertinent ruling here). They will NOT be looking to god for guidance. They will see what the law says. You lied, you have to deal with the consequences".

Yeah, I got flamed down.
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Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 21:25, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

if anyone is bored
please take a moment to go and give this smug prick a good shoeing

www.b3ta.com/questions/spoiltbrats/post269406
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spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 20:20, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How odd
No HSH evening thread?

Here you are!
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jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 12 Oct 2008, 20:05, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

just got back from my first surf
since I hit a guy in the face. It was good.

My repairs stood up well too.

Bestest thing about today was that it was 20 degrees at 5pm in October

what's the best thing that's happened to you today?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 19:18, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok, in approximately
20 minutes, I want everyone to shout "Ninja, go home". Maybe he'll hear you.....

I should be done putting up the reward flyers by then :(
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Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 19:14, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I normally write this on /talk, but I figure it's a question, so I'll write it here..... What are you having for lunch and/or dinner tonight?
I'm not sure what to make/get.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 15:26, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm about to buy a new laptop.
As b3tans are world experts on everything,* I'd appreciate some suggestions as to which laptops are good and which ones are to be avoided. Rational and irrational opinions acceptable.

*100% FACT
(

thealternativefact, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 11:38, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

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