Good morning b3tans
Today is the first day of my new job. Are you starting something new or going to be doing something for the first time today?


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:22, 408 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well....
....I just walked into a gigantic mess at work! I can't talk too much about it (professional reasons) but suffice to say they want us to test some chemicals because someone else is too stupid/lazy/inept (delete as applicable) to do it properly.

If I wasn't being made redundant, I'd seriously consider resigning. It's intolerable here....
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:33, Reply)

Mornin' Stig
The horrors of work is something I have to look forward to. Hopefully, the management are better than that of my last place and can prevent something like that from happening.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:42, Reply)

@Spakman
Before I forget, good luck in your new job and I hope it goes well.

I'll be seeing you on Saturday anyway.

You found a place to stay yet?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:46, Reply)

Morning all
I am off to visit a school today and then take the car in to be repaired.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:46, Reply)

Morning, Mrs Liveinabin!
At the risk of turning into a car-bore again, what's wrong with your car and what make and model is it?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:49, Reply)

Morning all
Hope today goes well for you Spakka!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:49, Reply)

Morning all!
Today I might hopefully get a callback from the local council's licencing office for the first time... despite leaving seven messages over the last week *sighs*

Nice weekend though... quiet night Fri, sleep, early F1 quali, sleep, mooch around, Zelda on the Wii, dinner at a fancy fish restaurant, sleep, early F1 race, sleep, mooch, housework, Zelda... my life runs at such a terrifying pace!

How were your weekends?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:49, Reply)

Morning Lusty and No3l!
I hope we're well today?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:51, Reply)

My weekend
was super, thanks for asking.

I'm feeling all happy today...Wonder how long that will last?
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:53, Reply)

Morning Stig
It's a Mitsubishi Colt CZC2 and the problem with it is that I drove it head on into an MX5
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:55, Reply)

@Lusty
It'll last as long as we don't get onto the subject of facial fuzz! :O)

Why are you so happy? On a Monday of all days!
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:55, Reply)

@Mrs Liveinabin
CZC2? That's the cabriolet version! Styled by Pinifarina. Nice choice!

Sorry about the crash though, hope it doesn't affect your insurance premium too much.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:58, Reply)

Morning all
Hope we are all well today.

Good luck at the new job spakka.

Ah, I must go get ready and go to class. Meh.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:58, Reply)

The Stig
But facial hair makes me happy!
I just had a really good weekend full of lots of laughing, tea, cake and cider.
Good times!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:59, Reply)

Yeah I'm ok
My tummy has been funny for the past few days. I suffer from indigestion so I take tablets for it, but they don't seem to be doing their job very well atm *pouts*

But other than that, just dandy thanks!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:01, Reply)

@Lusty
I'm glad someone had a good weekend! Mine was mostly filled with chores. I didn't realise how soul destroying laundry was! Though, ironing is surprisingly relaxing. I like it.

You coming on the bash on Saturday? Or will I never see you?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:02, Reply)

@No3l
Do you spend a lot of time on the settee or eating lying down/hunched over?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:03, Reply)

Hurrah!
The overseer just called to say she's not coming in today! I get to be in charge.
*powers*

@The Stig, yups I'll be at the bash, not sure what time I'll be getting there though.
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:06, Reply)

Thanks Stig
Shouldn't be too bad. It was 50/50 so I'll only loose 2 years no claim.
Also as I'm old it doesn't cost too much anyway. My premium last year was about £150.

*edit* Off now, laters
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:06, Reply)

Nah
It's a long-term medical issue probably related to stress, depression, alcohol abuse a few years back, lots of things. My doc would rather keep me on pills than schedule me for endoscopy/surgery *shrug*

It had been getting better since I had counselling, but just this past week or two it's been a bit rubbish.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:07, Reply)

@Lusty
Don't worry, my time keeping is appalling! I can't remember who said it but there's a famous quote which I agree with:

"Never EVER be on time for anything. It gives the impression you've got nothing else better to do!"

@Mrs Liveinabin.

I've seen your picture, you don't look THAT old! Also, £150 on a CZC2?! Who do you insure with???

@N03l

Okey dokey. Because I had indigestion problems until I found out that sleeping on a leather settee instead of a bed was the cause of my problems.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:08, Reply)

mornin' Bin, Lust, no3l & POD
Thanks for the well-wishing.

Have just showered and weed. Am now off to shave and get breakfast.

@wanderlust: Good for you. Don't forget that power corrupts.

EDIT: Bye Mrs. L
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:10, Reply)

@Stig
I think that car insurance costs depend a lot on where you live.

I'm 26, with 5 years NCD and a group 19 car. When I lived in Birmingham, my insurance was in the region of £750/year. Since moving to deepest Warwickshire, it's dropped to £310.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:13, Reply)

Morning, Rubber.
I knew that where you lived had an effect on one's premium, but I didn't appreciate it was that much of an effect.

Having said that, though, if you lived in Liverpool or Moss Side, I'd hazard a guess that your insurance premium would be quite hefty....if you could find someone to insurance you!
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:23, Reply)

The Holy Postcode
Living in the Saaaaarf East I'd pay approx £500 a year more for the same car as I do up here in the North West. The grey, drizzly North West.

(I'm 36, 5 years + NCD, six points, with on street city parking, a relatively inexperienced driver also on the policy who wrote her car off a year ago, a poor-risk occupation and I can still get into a silly group car for about £500-600 a year)

So there, whippersnappers. Being wrinkly helps, but the holy postcode is the thing.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:42, Reply)

@Osok
Don't be down on the North West. I lived in Preston for a little while and I loved it! I would seriously consider moving there to raise a family.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:44, Reply)

Morning
I'll see your new job and raise you a new place to live.
First morning waking up in the joint.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:47, Reply)

.
I'm all breakfasted up now. Just need to do sort out what I'm taking to work, and I'll be off.

I've got a bit of the new-job nerves but I should be allright.

EDIT: Mornin' rubber, osok & one.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:48, Reply)

Herr Spak
Good luck. Don't shit in the boss' intray, speculate loudly on the chances of the female staff members taking it up the wrong 'un, or claim to be the reincarnation of Genghis Khan and you should be OK.

(Unless that's how you got the job)

*jealouses*
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:52, Reply)

Good luck spakkaman
If it's anything like any of the first days I've ever had in a job, it'll go really quickly, and because you're the new bloke, people will be nice to you (at least for a few days anyway!)

Here's hoping that they're always nice to you...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:52, Reply)

Thanks osok
May not be a descendent of Ghenghis Khan, but I suspect I've got some Viking blood in me.

Hope you land a job and get a clue.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:54, Reply)

Stig
Oh don't get me wrong about the NW, it's fine.

It's just a particularly grey crappy Monday morning which I have to spend slogging through recruitment and company websites in the vain hope that one just might be (a) true and (b) suitable.

Happy Days
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:55, Reply)

@rubberduck
Thanks mate.

I know what you mean by the bubble of niceness that bursts when my newness wears off.

Anyway, I must now be off. Have fun in the thread.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Morning everyone
Hope the new job goes ok today Spakka.

With car insurance, I pay £400/year for my 2.0l Golf GTi with no no claims and a restricted licence. That seemed a pretty decent deal to me
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Pirate
Who are you insured with?
My Scala is costing me £600 - 30 yrs old (me not the car), no no claims and 3 points.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:04, Reply)

Hello my lovelies
It is all overcast here now :(

And I am really annoyed as I stayed up to watch the F1 highlights then fell asleep at about 1150 so still don't know who won! *heads over to f1.com*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:14, Reply)

I feel like shit today. Weekend was alright apart from the obvious footballing woes (Scotland).

On Saturday I went home with a nice girl that I shouldn't be going home with. Because I don't really want to get into a relationship with her when it's another girl I want.

But who can turn down free sex when you're smashed after drinking all day? Also went condom-less which is a worry...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:23, Reply)

@Osok
I know the feeling. I'm job hunting as I'm being made redundant by the end of this year.

It's tough out there.I've got a few irons in the fire, but nothing sizzling just yet.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:23, Reply)

oneinthepink
I'm insured with Admiral. This is the second year I've been with them. I lost any chance of no claims last year when I hit my neighbour's stationary car. Not my finest hour!

How many people are feeling extra shitty today? Mondays are bad enough but when it's so miserable outside after such a glorious weekend, it really sucks the life out of me.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)

*dances around*
I feel pretty good all things considering :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:41, Reply)

I'm actually feeling OK today
It's cloudy outside, but warm and dry, so that's fine by me.

It's been a weird weekend though. I'm still trying to make sense of it all...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:41, Reply)

Morning
Anyone miss me?
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Where
have you been Kaol?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:43, Reply)

*pretends not to have missed Kaol*
....

....

....
*hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)

On a secret mission :D
Er... Yeah, that'll do...

*hugs TGB*
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Good morning folks
How's it going? Nice weekends?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)

I missed you Kaol
There was a distinct lack of talk about knives.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)

Kaol!
I was wondering where you were.
*ensnuggles*

How was your secret mission?
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:49, Reply)

Goodmorning everyone.
14 weeks till my next holiday.....Woo!
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:50, Reply)

*grins*
My secret mission was terrible, but I'm all missioned-out now, so that's fine.

I do, however, have a terrible headache this morning, which is a bit of a shame.

Ah well!

*sharpens knife*

P.S. It's my b3ta-day tomorrow, my first one ever!:D
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:50, Reply)

morning chumps
another week with nose to the grindstone :-/

I'm almost ill too. lame.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Morning All
Hope everyone had a good weekend.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:51, Reply)

@never-right
Mine was boring and dull. My weekends just aint what they used to be.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Morning, BGB
How's you upon this fine morn?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Hello my pretties
How are you all today? I have already signed on today, my thinking is that that has to be the low point of the week, things can only improve!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:56, Reply)

*warning small F1 rant ahead*
Why the fuck did Bourdais get penalised!? I can understand to some extent Hamilton's and I agree with Massa's but Bourdais did nothing wrong! Where's BK when I need him :p

/rant

My weekend went too quickly I need another one right now!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:57, Reply)

LvP
Don't say that...
What if you get possessed by a Space Toad-Demon, and it makes you eat eight kilos of worms?
Raw worms :(
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Kaol
But surely if I were a Toad then I'd think worms were the yummiest of all the foodstuffs?

I am a bit frightened of toads though, so I can see your point.

However, after last weeks mini temper tantrum, I am trying to be the picture of positivity and happiness.

Yay for Toads!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Yeah, but
You'd know that you weren't a toad, just that your body was being controlled by it.
So the worms would be wriggly and muddy and horrible.

Mini-temper outburst?
I think I missed that.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@Stig
Things are looking better now I'm at work.

Now that's a sentance I never thought I'd be typing.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Ah,
In that case it would be yukky. You're right.

Fingers crossed no evil Space-Demon Toads come roaming my way.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)

@BGB
Believe it or not, I can (sort of) see your point.

Makes the weeks go quicker until your holiday.

I'm adopting the same attitude to November. 7-10th I'll been in Amsterdam (looking at "architecture") and the 22nd November to the 1st of December I'll be in the United States.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Yeah, I certainly
Hope that doesn't happen. It'd mess your week right up.

My week is going to be fuckin' dull, but my weekend should be excellent :D
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Morning all,
and good to see you back, Kaol.

And good luck with the job, Spakka!

Anyway, may I leave a bad joke here? Here we go then:

Richard Branson had just bought himself a very nice London flat, in the heart of Maida Vale, to live in while he was in the city doing all kinds of businessy things. He only had one problem, and it was a huge white wall that ran the length of the entire flat. Despite repeated trips to Habitat, John Lewis and even Ikea, The Bearded One just could not find a piece of art he liked enough to go on his wall.

Now, Richard Branson is not a complete idiot. He got out his Yellow Pages, and looked up an artist. Picking up his 'phone, he dialled the number.

"Hello?"

"Hello there, do you do commissions?"

I'll spare you the thrust of the conversation - the short version is yes, the artist did do commissions, and he told him his prices, to which Branson agreed. In turn, the artist was furnished with the dimensions of the wall. And now, back to the conversation:

"So," said the artist, "what would you like this picture to be of, then?"

"Well, I'm a big fan of the history of the Wild West. What I'd like is a mural that depicts General Custer's last thoughts at the battle of Little Big Horn. I'm out of town for the next two weeks, when can you start?"

"I'll come round tomorrow." said the unemployed artist.

And so, Branson went away on his business trip, all the while paying more attention to daydreaming about his wonderful mural than he was to his business meetings (which may go some way to explaining Virgin Galactic). After two weeks, he received a 'phone call telling him his art work was complete, and he dashed back to Maida Vale with all the speed and grace of a greased Whippet. He fumbled as he got the key in to the door and rushing in to the lounge, he stopped.

Before him lay the mural. He gasped.

One half of the wall was taken up with the image of a giant fish, leaping resplendently from a glistening river. Just above the head of the fish sat a glowing, golden halo.

The other half of the wall contained a picture of hundreds and hundreds of Red Indians. They were in every possible (and sometimes impossible) sexual position imaginable. They appeared to be rutting like Wild Boar, their eyes rolled in to the back of their heads while they grasped the hips of their lovers.

Branson grabbed the 'phone, and hammered in the number of the artist. When the line connected, he didn't waste time on pleasantries.

"Just what the hell," roared Branson "Do you think you're doing?"

"Whaddya mean?" said the artist, affronted.

"I asked you for a picture of General Custer's last thoughts during the battle of Little Big Horn, and what you give me is a huge picture of a fish, and a frankly pornographic and not a little offensive picture of Native Americans going at it like angry rabbits! How on earth is this in any way representative of what Custer thought?"

"Course it's representative," the artist replied, "It says: Holy Mackerel! Look at all those fucking Indians!"

Aaaaaythangyew!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

hehe
space toads, weren't there space toads in Bucky O'Hare?

I loved that show it was awesome *reminisces*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

*sighs*
*shakes head*

DiT... That was terrible...
Why did I bother coming back?
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

DiT
That joke was amazingly bad.

You have brought a big, goofy grin to my big, goofy face.

I salute you sir!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Hey folks
Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

I did, but my throat is still fucked.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Well,
That quantity of semen is naturally caustic...

:p
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:18, Reply)

Hmm
I heard the effect was medicinal.
Those fucking sailors lied to me!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:20, Reply)

@BK
Your not supposed to gargle, only swallow.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Ah... I'm sorry to hear that...
Those nasty London dock-workers, tricking poor little Northern you...

*hugs*
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Bk!
Quick question: did you agree with Bourdais' penalty?

oh and of course *hugs*. Maybe hugs from a distance if you have been round sailors
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:24, Reply)

*wanders in*
*sits down*
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:30, Reply)

*hands Clendrix a cuppa*
Good weekend?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Er...
That's my lap...
Ah well!
*grins*
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)

*sits down next to clendrix*
*twiddles thumbs*

*can't resist any longer*

*cuddles*
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)

@ TGB *hugs from a distance*
Not if it gave Massa more points!
*hugely biased*

I did swallow. I burped earlier, it was like a cartoon bubble-gum backsplash! *ick*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)

BK
that is disgusting!




How dare you support Massa :p

It's getting to the point where I would quite like to see Kubica win!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:36, Reply)

*wiggles on Kaol's lap*
*accepts tea from Badger gratefully*
*cuddles Lusty*

Ning all. Hope you're all well. My hair is frizzy :(

Edit: Massa. Love him.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Morning all
New things eh? Well tomorrow I'll be starting to learn linux. That's new I guess but nothing new today.

:edit: @TGB I was thinking the same about Kubica yesterday. Even though I'm an avid Ferrari fan I'd love to see him win the drivers championship and BMW win the constructors. I'm expecting a lot from them next season seeing as they stopped developing this season's car ages ago.
( Captain V, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)

@ TGB
I'm not supporting Massa; I'm Hamilton all the way.

But I am quite a fan of Kubica!

*flexes* at clenders
*moves in for Lusty/clenders cuddle sandwich*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)

In my less than humble opinion
There's absolutely no reason Seb should have been hit with a penalty. He held his position and Massa turned in on him. Completely daft.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)

In my opinion
F1 would be more exciting if there were Wildebeast on the track.
And maybe people in helicopters with grenades.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)

@No3l
Agree with you entirely. I'm surprised Hamilton and Massa didn't get harsher penalties actually as their driving in those two incidents was appalling.
( Captain V, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

FA Cup Finals
should be played in top hat and tails, to mark the majesty of the occasion.

Golf should have mines in the bunker sand.



Edit: Morning Beekers, you flexy thing.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)

As I've said before:
I'm not Hamilton's biggest fan. That said, I've always supported the McLaren team (apart from one glorious season where I supported Damon Hill), so I really hope that he gets it this year.

Can it be that he's beating himself (fnar!) once again?

I also can't wait til Bruno Senna gets a shot at F1. Dare to dream he'll go to McLaren?

Also: I had someone smear cold jelly over my genitals and give them a damn good rubbing. I have the 100% all clear!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)

@Kaol
I always thought F1 would be more exciting if it was like that round on Fun House where they had to drive around collecting tokens.

I miss Fun House and the cheerleading twins!

Edit: That's great news DiT! Yays!!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Hurrah Tightly!
Hurrah!
And thrice hurrah!
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

What flavour jelly was it?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)

From what I read
Hamilton did seem to acknowledge he was driving like a twat in that first corner.

The races have been a lot more exciting recently though. I like seeing something other than red or silver on the podium!

Edit: yay great news DiT :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Bacon!
Then they get cats to lick it off :)
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Ooh bacon jelly! Nice.
I'm always overly concerned when I go to see the doctor about my trouser luggage. Will I get a stonk-on and make a fool of myself?

Fortunately never have done though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Yay for Tightly's all clear
@ Lusty.

I used to love Funhouse:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:50, Reply)

DiT
Grats on the all clear *cheers*
( Captain V, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:50, Reply)

To be fair,
They'd take it as a compliment.
And it'd prove that it's all in working order.
So it's not the end of the world!

EDIT: I'm most pleased about your grapes, Mr. Diablo.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:50, Reply)

*sings the funhouse theme*
use your body and your brain if you wanna win the game! I always wanted to go on there :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)

@DiT
Yay! for healthy genitals.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:53, Reply)

I'm not sure
my 60-ish year old male doctor, who I've seen since I was three, would take it as a compliment :)

Although he did oversee my circumcision when I was six... probably put him off for life.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)

@No3l
That was a worry for me too. Having said that, I had envisaged a young, hot, Swedish, former gymnast girl to be doing the scan.

When the middle aged, giant, Nigerian man came through, I knew then that there would be no unexpected/unwanted surprises. :)

EDIT: Thank you everyone! I should say that I asked for a print out of the scan - the man was not amused.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)

If I ever win loads on the lottery
I shall rebuild funhouse and invite you all over to play! TGB gets first go though :)
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Lusty...
Will Pat Sharpe be there? Or The Twins??
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Heh well... some ppl are into that sort of thing!
Congrats on the normal spuds btw :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Funhouse!
Funhouse was amazing. It used to be on a Friday and that was when the ice cream man would come down our road.
I have many a happy memory of having an ice cream and dancing around to the music!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

@ Lusty
I want second go then!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

*glees*
Lusty that would be all kinds of awesome! You had better let Pat know he needs to start growing his hair again though!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

I shall try my hardest to get Pat and the twins.
Though I have a feeling the twins might not be the young perky things they once were...
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)

I want to
Release devil-monkeys into the Funhouse, and replace the kids with crap-tastic "celebrities", and have the theme music covered by Type O Negative.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)

As much as I hate to leave fun house chat
I'm off for a stroll into town. Laters folks.
( Captain V, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)

FH
Did anyone else think that they could drive the karts much faster, if only they were given the chance?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Yeah!
I swear the kids they let go on that show were rubbish! I would have owned on Fun House. Fact!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Sod the tokens
I just wanted to take out Pat's ankles at the finish line.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)

@ Lusty
Yup, there were some right tin-rattlers on that show.

I'd have ruled!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Just had a little search for the twins to see what they're up to.
Martina's a receptionist.
Melanie cares for her sick husband.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:29, Reply)

I always think I'll do better than
some of the absolute spaktards they have one some shows.

I am banned from watching old episodes of the crystal maze in my house because I get all worked up and shout at the TV a lot and get very angry about what fucking morans people are.
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Lusty
Tonight is my shouting at the TV night cos it's Mastermind and University Challenge.
Mum and I try to beat each other but I think it's fair to say we never really have a clue!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)

@ Lucy
I can hold my own at both of those.
especially the general knowledge round of Mastermind, and literature or art-based stuff on UC.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)

I shout at CJ on Eggheads
If he puts on one more goggle-eyed, eybrow raising 'ohmyGodIcan'tbelieveyoudon'tknowthat' face, I'm putting my boot through the TV.
Smug twat.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)

Biology-stuff
On those is easy :D
And some of the astro-physics.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)

@ oitp
Yet he never knows the one's he's actually being asked. He sits out the final far more than the others.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)

oitp
Mr VP is exactly the same. He hates him with a passion.
Personally, I can't stand Daphne. Stupid old lady.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)

oitp
I hate that smug wanker! He is top of my list of people I'd like to smack around the face with a raw fish!

I don't like how he always calls Daphne old. She might be old but at lest she's not a know it all cunt.

Edit: @LVP awww leave her alone, I bet she smells like sweets.
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:40, Reply)

Does anyone else think that
Chris on Eggheads looks like Mr Smee?

I'm glad we're united on the hating CJ front.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:41, Reply)

@ Lusty
He's just a cunt!

@ Lucy
I quite like Daphne. She has a Wogan-esque twinkle in her eye.

@oitp
Now you mention it; quite a bit!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha
Eggheads!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!

Are you there, Dok? Come on, we're talking about Eggheads!

Apparently, Daphne is quite nice.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Why's that funny Clenders?
And why does Jeremy Vine insist on shouting the questions.

Bring back Dermot!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Dok has been on Eggheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our Dok!

And someone else...
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:48, Reply)

I hate the way when the other Eggheads/Contestants are getting asked a question (by themselves), the camera sometimes looks at the likes of CJ who put on the "oh yes I totally knew that answer nod nod nod"-face.

Fucker
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)

Dok has been on Eggheads?
I must pap him the next time I see him. He am an sleb.

I hate Chris even more than CJ. He can't just say the answer to 2 + 2 is 4, he has to give some kind of long answer about how the number 2 was invented in 1374, but 4 isn't really the answer because 4 isn't a real number.

Git.

EDIT: Not horses, but far, far worse is this.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Did his team win?
I haven't seen it in ages. But agree CJ is a cock
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:52, Reply)

Erm,
I don't believe his team won, but it was terribly close.






*coughs*
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)

I'd like to go on there
but I don't know 4 clever people!

How about a b3ta Eggheads team?

*edit* or should that be 3ggh3ads?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Egghead Fact:
CJ actually stands for Cunty Jughead. They have to call him CJ because Eggheads is on before 9pm.

100% FACT
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@ clenders
Are you implying you've been on too?

With the 'someone else....'
and *cough*

:D

You get a super *flex* if you have;)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)

@DiT
this bit from his website

Work Experience
5 years modelling in Europe and USA
8 years volunteering with various charities

Makes me want to hit him. I'm not quite sure why. It just seems to reek of smugness.

Am I the only one who likes Kevin? He just seems like quite nice man.
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)

No!
Hahahaha - not me.

I'd end up getting arsey.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)

DiT
Does that mean that he can be hired for parties, etc?
It would be worth the money to invite him to a cider fest and kick the shit out of him.

@Wander - Kevin is my favourite too.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)

@ Lusty
I like Kevin.

He's just a smiling assassin. He knows absolutely fucking everything, but somehow doesn't come across as a cunt giving the answers.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:57, Reply)

Lusty
Kevin is my favourite too. He knows EVERYTHING but doesn't get smug about it like the others.
Judith seems like quite a laugh as well.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Lusty
Kevin is a smug cock.

I like that big beer drinker and Daphers.

Edit: Lucy! Ha! Let's never chat about him when we meet.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Judith
strikes me as the kind of lady who gets tipsy on sherry at christmas and wears stockings. Then as she gets slightly more drunk she gives everyone a cheeky flash of her suspenders as she sings around the piano.
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:01, Reply)

Clendrix
Good idea.
Kevin = Banned from our conversation.

oh how I love eggheads. Why did Dermot go anyway? Jeremy Vine lacks the twinkle and charm, he makes it seem less fun.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)

I have become hysterical at my desk.
Seriously.
I can't believe how long we've been talking about Eggheads. Even the word Eggheads is making me laugh.

I may have to go outside for a while.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Jeremy Vine
Is against fun that's why.

And horses and caravans and bikes and cycles and people and children and alcohol and smoking and laughing and websites and reading and writing etc etc etc
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Anyone reckon Judith was a looker in her day?
She's a bit overripe now.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Judith seems nice
But I bet you'd be going at it and she'd be all like 'Did you know that doggie style is exactly six and a half times more sexually stimulating for the female due to...' and I'd be like 'Yeah. talk facts to me, you posh bitch!'




What?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)

@ lusty Re: CJ
Other Achievements
Travelling to more than 40 countries

I deem that as "cock-worthy" when mentioned on a CV?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)

@ No3l
That just made me laugh so hard I sneezed!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:08, Reply)

@ Ethelred
Neglecting to clarify, "selling his arse for air miles".
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Sad as it is
I've been on his website before.
He's changed it, he used to have hotel recommendations from places he's travelled to.

Love it.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

@ BJ
Erm, we all do that, don't we?

*shifty eyes*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

I've just looked
On Wikipedia and they are auditioning for a sixth Egghead!
PLeeeeeeeeeeease can we get a b3tan to get this role, it would be so ace.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)

@ LvP
*applies*

Quiz achievements:

Winning once at a pub quiz
Attending several hundred others.
Have travelled to several countries
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:13, Reply)

I nominate Al
He's the expert at everything. Especially goats.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:14, Reply)

I'll do it!
Although I can't promise I'll be any good. For wasn't it King Gustav of Sweden who said, in 1774 "Is it muliptle choice?"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)

Ethelred!
*tackles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)

If you're in a pub quiz
and are unsure of the answer. Just write 'The quiz master is sexy' over and over and you will be rewarded bonus points!

This may only work if you're in a team of girls and the quiz master is a bit of a pervert
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Excellent
I thought of Al and his knowledge of all the subjects under the sun.
I love quizzes but I can be a bit crap at them sometimes. I'm no good under pressure, I need time to think.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)

Yes Miss Drixy is right.
I and one other B3tan have been on Eggheads. No we didn't win, It wasn't close, and we were all sure that the thing was fixed!

Since when has simple mental arithmatic been science?

So how is everybody today?

EDIT Yes CJ is a cunt!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)

*paps*
*sells pictures of HDL to Heat Magazine*

*profits*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Herr Dok
Do you reckon your team's questions are predetermined, regardless of whether you go first or second?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:22, Reply)

TGB
Are you an excited fan?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)

@OITP
It seemed like that to us at the time.

Our questions Fucking hard, their questions, what is 13x12?

@drixy We were all arsey about it when we left TV centre, and in the pub later!

We also had the son of a famous comedian on our team!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)

LVP
I reckon Stephen Hawking would be a good addition to the Egghead crew.
Just make sure he doesn't cheat and google the answers.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:28, Reply)

Afternoon all
I return from my morning class, and a group meeting where I ended up drawing on my hand for a while as other people were discussing something dull.

All well here?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:28, Reply)

@DiT
I even got to wear my Tom Baker Dr, Who scarf on the show.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)

I just got forwarded a fantastic email
By my mate at work:

Below are pictures of the two sizes of the Ring.

Also, attached find a "Line Drawing" of the smaller Ring # P-7305-T.

I hope that this smaller Ring will work for you. If not, you could always use a "Knob". Let me know if you need to see some Knobs.

Regards,

Willie
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:41, Reply)

Ethelred
I am always excited.

Hey Dok. You should have got points for the scarf!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)

That is
Precious. And stuff.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)

@TGB
Hell yeah, the scarf rocks.

The looks I got in TV Centre were priceless.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)

Dok
I think you were all fab.
*wants to see the tape*
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)

@ Drixy
When I can be arsed to connect my DVD-R to my Sky Plus box you can have it!

EDIT Bash at http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/16693
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:46, Reply)

Nice one Kaol
I heard one this morning.
Someone on the phone groaning "Oh my God, they've fucked the flange"
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:49, Reply)

Dok!
Yay!

And please note I already signed up to your Bash yesterday. Plans! I love 'em.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:51, Reply)

To ask a random question
Does anyone use 02 for home broadband? If so, is it any good?

I've just been offered 20meg speed with unlimited downloads on a 12 month contract for £15 a month, is this any good? I'm an idiot when it comes to most things, computers especially.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:54, Reply)

Bloody Londoners having London bashes left, right and centre.
*grumps*
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:56, Reply)

HCFB
I'm on O2, and paying £7.50 a month for a rock-solid 8Mbps connection.

I've only been with them for a couple of months, but I've not got a bad word to say about them. They're a million times better than the shysters that are Virgin Media.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:56, Reply)

Hello Batman
We have o2 wireless at home and we've had no problems with it thus far. It seems fine to me and their customer service has been surprisingly good.
^We've got the same deal as Ducky.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:57, Reply)

Hmmmm
I might take a look at O2 broadband. We're with Sky at the moment but anything I can do to save a few extra quids for the beer fund is welcome.

Ooh and, bearing in mind how far in the future it is, I should be able to swing it with the missus to go to the Dok's bash. Nice one!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)

But BGB
You know you want to come, and it is next year.

Drixy, yay, I noticed that this morning.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Afternoon all
I have returned.
My list of exciting things to do this afternoon includes: cleaning the bathroom, phoning the electricity company and cleaning the kitchen.

Go me!

@Stig, in answer to your much earlier question about car insurance; Direct Line and I'm 33, Mr Bin is 35.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)

HCFB
Having been on the other end of several ISPs, I can safely say it won't be "unlimited", I'd checked the small print.

Of the people I know with O2 broadband, they aren't bad by the sounds of things.

And £15 for 20Mbp/s isn't bad to be honest.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Nice one thanks guys
My mobile is with 02 and their customer service has been surprisingly good as well. The other thing I wanted to ask is I'm moving in to a new flat in November but purely on a temporary basis, until March I think, is it easy enough to move your broadband into a place without having to pay extra? As long as there is a BT landline in the new place obviously.


EDIT Sorry was being a spaz, just checked and they charge you £50 for changing address. As for "Unlimited" I know BT have a 40gb fair usage policy but I've yet to download that much porn in a month. I stress the word yet.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Yeh
BGB - you've got ages to plan for Dok's Bash!

Pirate - try! But it would be good to see you at one sooner :)
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)

I am with Virgin
But somehow appear to have slipped off their system so get 10mb broadband and tv for free! wooo! So for all those that have had to put up with the shitty service I am getting one over on the man for you :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Just realised it's next year.
Whoops!
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:09, Reply)

Harro again peeps
Back from lunch.

It's nice and sunny:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:10, Reply)

Afternoon BK
It's not so much with the sunnys here. Just a bit cloudy, and looks like it's going to rain quite a lot.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:11, Reply)

On a funnier note
The guys who I work for, the ones that asked if I wanted to take voluntary redundancy are possibly getting sued by The Glasgow Commonwealth games commitee for this t-shirt, muahahahahaha!

www.slanjkilts.com/View-all-products-in-shop.html?keyword=commonwealth
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:12, Reply)

I live very near the Virgin Media South London hub
Last year during an outage they tried to tell me that it was due to the datacentre being flooded.

I told them to piss off because I could see it from where I was sitting.

They then admitted that that's what they had been instructed to say, and the real fault was due to some twunt unplugging the main servers.

I don't think that chap was in employment very much after that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:12, Reply)

I hate it when you
phone up because the internet isn't working and they try and get you to go online and register your problem through the website.
argghh!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:17, Reply)

@Batman
That picture is too small for my screen, what does it have on it?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Ha
I saw that the other day in the shop, HCFB. Bought the bat-thistle instead though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Dok!
Does that sig refer to your infamous hole?

Edit: Oh, is it a C? It looked like a hole...you can own 'Drixy' (in a manner of speaking!).
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)

It's 4 figures
One playing pool, one playing darts, one downing a pint of beer and another watching TV. The committee have apparently deemed it's offensive to the games and want to sue us. The funniest thing is we only found out through the Scotland on Sunday newspaper. Hehe.

EDIT PoD yeah the Bat Thistle is cool. Except in certain lights it looks like Mickey Mouse looking over two bums. The Superlion one is cool too.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:20, Reply)

That is funny
I can see why they would get a bit miffed but suing is taking it too far.
On what grounds are they planning on suing?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Oh Drixy
Still thinking about my hole then?

Come now I would have thought that you would have had that out of your system by now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Superlion did look good
But bat-thistle won the day.

I have another class soon. Mergh :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:23, Reply)

Dok
Your hole haunts my nightmares dreams.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Apparently they own
the rights to the usage of "Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games" and as we're using the name without their permisson and they apparenly have no sense of humour they want to sue us. Oddly enough sales have quadrupled of them since the article was in the paper and we have no stock left.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)

I've been told
I'm haunting, or was it stalking?

I've never figured that out o be honest.

EDIT Woo 200.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:26, Reply)

*leaps in*
ning all!

*snogs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:27, Reply)

Heylo HLT
*snogs*

How are you?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)

*leaps on hlt*
Hello!

*huggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)

My day as just got better.
Had a delivery of some staionary I ordered and got a free Thorntons Chocolate Halloween cat to eat with my coffee.


*sobs with excitement*
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Well Hello there
Miss HLT.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:34, Reply)

@ BGB
That's awesome.

*wants free chocolate*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:38, Reply)

@BGB
Life is beautiful, eh?

I just ate a Mars and feel like a big, fat bloater!
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:38, Reply)

It's little surprises like that that make life worth living.
*goes to check if any more stationary is needed*
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:40, Reply)

BGB
Free chocolate for the win.

I bet I won't get a prize for cleaning the bathroom.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:43, Reply)

@ Mrs L
You get our undying respect.

No?

How about this Bully tankard and darts?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:51, Reply)

one hunnnndred and eeeiigghhttty
I wanted that guy's job. Just yelling out numbers!

*sees if there are any bingo caller jobs going*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)

and Bully's special prooooooiiiiizzzzzeee!
I do a fairly good impression of that guy:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)

ooh, you're all lully
I've just negotiated the sale of my house. I'm well chuffed.

*snogs and huggles everyone*


*pops champagne*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Yo HLT
Hows it hanging?

TGB

I was forced to attend bingo with my mum once, the bingo caller was more static than the biddies playing!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:59, Reply)

@ HLT
That's awesome!

Selling the house you're in now?
Not the sex cave!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)

woo for house sales!
and champagne!

*clink*

secretly loves bingo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)

no, the poor little empty house of dreams
which we don't live in and have been desperate to sell for a year.

sex cave is intact.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)

BK
Would that impression be as good as your Yoda one?

*laughs*
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:02, Reply)

Time for a question of the day, methinks, let's see how many people answer this thorny one.....?
If you were allowed to pass one (and only one!) law or establish a certain idealogy (i.e a British constitution) what would it be and why? It can be a trivial as you want (i.e public floggings for people who litter) or it can be as grand as you want (i.e Establishment of taxpayer's money to support British jobs and curb imports). Maybe you'd like to see the Death sentence come back?

My answer would be the establishment of secularism. A complete separation of Religion and public life. No more Islamist wanting to wear veils that cover their faces on passport photographs, no more Christians preaching on street corners and no more Roman Catholics trying to blow up abortion clinics. Everyone has the right to their private beliefs? Keep it PRIVATE!
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:04, Reply)

@ Lusty
Oi! My Yoda is ace.

You were very privileged to hear that!
*wags finger at inpudence*

@ Tulip
Glad to hear it!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:04, Reply)

@Stig
I would make it compulsary for all women over the age of 40 to have first dibs on single men.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:11, Reply)

My law would be
making shaving illegal in the month of October. Surely we have had this conversation?

I will hire Lusty and Clendrix as my beard inspectors! And anyone else that wants to rub some beards for a month :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:11, Reply)

BK
I didn't say it wasn't.
It's almost as good as your Chewbacca...

Edit: @TGB That sounds like my dream job! When can I start????
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

Stig
I actually agree with you on that one.

Religion seems to be an excuse for people with cuntish tendencies to be more overtly cunt-tastic.

Also, why is it that a priest (of any religion) can clam that God is talking to them, and not be locked up for being crazy, but if I was to shoot up a bus-load of kids with an automatic rifle and claim that "God told me to do it", they'd not believe me?
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

Lusty
As it is October you can start right away! I will make you a Beard Inspector badge later :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:16, Reply)

@Stig
I'm gonna have to say that you're pretty much just tarring many with the same brush, there, which ain't always a good way to do things.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Shaving laws...
I'd make it compulsory for shaving to be once a week.

I'm not a fan of beards (I lived with one for a long time which almost had a higher IQ than its owner).

Nor am I a huge fan of men with faces like babies bums.

Stubble though... proper scruffy, sexy, manly stubble... the sort that leaves a lasting impression upon the inner thigh...

*goes quivery*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:18, Reply)

@BGB
There's plenty of single guys out there with no-one interested in them. So 40 year olds have first dibs already, surely?

@Kaol

Presumably, when a priest say it, they're not harming anyone. But when you get locked up, it because you've killed a load of people and not because "God is talking to you". But I do see your point.

@PoD

Not really. The point of the ruling is to keep personal religion, personal. If you are a moderate "religioso" (new word, I invented. Patent pending), then these laws shouldn't affect you as you keep your religion personal. If, however, you're one of the wackos I mentioned, then that law is DESIGNED to rein you in. Why? because, people acting like that are adding nothing positive to society.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:21, Reply)

I'm with you there Warm Fuzzy
Mr Bin doesn't shave at the weekend. mmmmmmm
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@stiggy
I wouldn't say they're all wackos.

And now, to uni! What funs.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Stubble is all well and good.
But I'm not a fan of it leaving a rash on my face or boobs or anywhere else...
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:24, Reply)

Laws
I agree with BGB, but I would also include men of 40+.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:24, Reply)

ooops
I've just found out that the car I hit was a write-off!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)

@ Lusty
Some people are just picky...
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)

stubble
*faints*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)

Off topicly
What do I put with Jack Daniels to make it yum?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)

*drifts off to a stubbly beardy place*
mmmm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:27, Reply)

31
I'd say "ice".
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Stubble
Just shows that you're too lazy to shave, and too lazy to grow a real beard!

I must admit though that I only shave every couple of months, or when I have to impress people.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:28, Reply)

Put me with it
Then it will be nice, and I will too.

*needs alcohol*

Or Fentiman's ginger beer.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Oh for goodness sake....
....not flipping stubble/beards!

What's wrong with being clean shaven? I like being clean shaven

I have a smooth face and I'm flipping proud of it!

Maybe I should ban beards, instead....?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@ No 31
You don't. You pour it down the sink and refill your glass with gin.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

*high fives HLT*
*offers gin*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)

I can't drink gin...
Reading festival, two litres of it neat, and a drunken adventure have stopped me enjoying it.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)

@ Stig
Then you'll have one big hirsute motherfucker of a coup on your hands.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:33, Reply)

Gin
Full of WIN.

I used to drink it all the time, sod all those who thought it looked like a girls drink!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Beards
Stubble and facial hair FTW!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Ahem
Agreed, JD down the sink (or donated to fuzzy) and replaced with a healthy measure of gin!
(gin'll fix it, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:35, Reply)

@BK
Then, bring it on! I eat coup d'etats for breakfast!

I'll make you my political prisoners and torture you by shaving your beards off.......slowly.....then put aftershave balm on! So your faces are nice and smooth!



Blimey! Absolute power DOES corrupt absolutely!
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

@ Lusty
Too true!

May I also join both the gin and JD lovers?
I love both!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Well Stig
How come you are stopping people from expressing their views on religious matters but you are still free to air your views on beards, "fat" people, bald people people called Alex etc?

Is it because you don't agree with the religious views so they must be wrong? Or are you simply penalising the majority for the "radical" minority?

Well my law is no freedom of speech for anyone. *calls in the thought police* Please form an orderly queue to your right everyone. Those attempting anything will be shot.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)

@ Stig
beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards beards

You'll never win Stiggy me'lad!

There's too many of us!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)

I've always wanted to say no
if a policeman did the "right to remain silent... understand?" blurb.

But I'm too good to be arrested, and too shy to defy authority :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Beards win!
I've had a beard of some description for the past fifteen years, and I fucking love it.

And ginger beer sounds good. What are you doing later, fuzzy? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)

I'm not being dictated to
unless it involves ordering me to do something I wanted to do in the first place. And even then I might not do it, because petulance and sulks FTW.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:43, Reply)

I've spent`
the past hour trying to roll cigarettes but appear to have lost the ability. Bugger.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Fuck me
Are we talking about beards again?

I've just had me bonce shaved, and the barber asked me if I wanted him to shave my beard off.

HELL NO! I cried.

There's nothing wrong with being clean shaven at all. It's just many of us like to have a beard/tache/goatee/burns etc.

Let that be and end of it. Please!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)

@BK
You shall not win! I will crush any insubordination! Beards are evils! They are the spawn of the devil!

Clean shaven people of the world unite against the hairy heathen!



Who said genocide couldn't be fun? ;O)

@TGB. Grow up! Do you honestly think ANY of this is serious? Genocide against bearded people? A coup d'etat against clean shaven people? Does this sound like a serious conversation?

@DiT

I tried talking about serious politics earlier, but got sucked into this war with BK!

Could be worse....I could have got sucked OFF by BK!
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Regarding being dictated
FUCK THAT.

I'm gonna be a big figure in the Underground.

Blowing up razor-factories.
Gluing pubes to the faces of political figures in their sleep, with superglue.
Slitting the throats of those in power.
You know... The usual.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Batman
I'm just popping out for a smoke. Pop down and I'll roll you one.

*waits a few hours on the park bench*
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)

clendrix
Mmmmmm that sounds wonderful. Can we have a picnic?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Stig
That's really not a pleasant way to address Badger.
Keep it nice.

Batman - yes! Sounds divine.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)

@ Drixy
I order you to post more!

Gin FTW as I said before, JD OK I drank far too much of it with my last fiance, beer FTW as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Batman
I go through stages of being able to roll or not.
Odd isn't it!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:50, Reply)

@ Clenny
*waits several hours on a park bench" doesn't sound good for the image!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:51, Reply)

@The Stig
There is nothing wrong with being sucked off by BK. he is a lovely man with a lovely mouth.
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:51, Reply)

Dok
Good lord!
*wrings out more opinion for the thread*

Ethel - quite, but the tramps are lovely and they all have fab beards (that don't bear up under close scrutiny).
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:52, Reply)

@Lusty
Don't get me wrong, I'm as liberal as the next guy (despite what I write!) and I like BK.


But homosexual encounters? No thanks! I've watched "Brokeback Mountain" and whilst it was a fantastic film....that lifestyle isn't for me! :O)
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

@ No31
Nipping round to yours with a bottle of Fentimans and clippers ;)

Tights, I had a story to share with you earlier but you vanished.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Yo fuzzy!
What's the story? I'm here now! (though still smarting at the shitty £/$ exchange rate!)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)

I like the oxymoron
Grow up and stop being serious

*grows up into a giant clown*

*juggles lions whilst riding a unicorn*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)

@ Lusty
Fuck, I just spat out my tea!

Glowing praise indeed though:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:00, Reply)

No TGB
Don't grow into a giant clown! Clowns are evil and scarey!

I hate clown, almost as much as dolphins!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:00, Reply)

TGB
There is no oxymoron there. Growing up DOESN'T mean you have to lose your sense of silliness, it just means, keeping a rein on it.

If you have to tell someone that calling for the "genocide of bearded people" wasn't a serious statement, then that's person's sense of seriousness is somewhat taken to an illogical conclusion.....
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:00, Reply)

@Stig
I've found that the older I get, the sillier I get and nobody cares! Age lets you run rampant in the silly department trying on all the clothes.

EDIT for spelling and more funnies!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:02, Reply)

@ DiT
(At the risk of being no longer relevent.)

A couple of years ago I had to have my cervix electrocuted to get rid of pre-cancerous cells. Twas not pleasant. The gynacolgist was a deadpan oldish fella, nice enough chap though.

He also happened to be the one who performed the same treatment on my mum years before.

I could not resist the temptation to ask him while he was down there if there was "any family resemblance".

He didn't laugh :(
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:03, Reply)

clendrix
I'll bring sandwiches and fizzy pop and cheesecake and...and...stuff for making rollies and can make enough to last me until next week? Please?

Lucy, yeah I was able to about 3 years ago but I'm skint this month so decided to go back on them and I can't do it, baaaaaaaaah.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)

Batman
No 'please' necessary! Sounds like a perfect way to spend a life to me.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Ahahah
That's BRILLIANT!

When I had my first examination, the Doctor said "do you feel a slight thickening?" (in reference to the lump) and I had to fight very hard not to say "But I don't find you attractive Doctor."

Sadly, as he had my testicles between thumb and forefinger, he was in a position to cause great pain, so I declined...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:06, Reply)

@ Batman
Mine are ace - I smoke rollies all the time so they're always bang on.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Dok you hate dolphins!?
Random....

*hides balloon dolphin*

Stig do you need more internet candy? *proffers* And I was actually saying that removing peoples rights of expressing religious belief is equal to removing their rights to express any belief. Sorry if the fact you have mentioned you hate beards one million and eighty-seven times means I did think you were being serious.

*makes balloon animals for everyone to restore fluffiness*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:07, Reply)

I rolled one with some added extras on Saturday evening
and it was luverly.

Didn't achieve much afterwards...
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:08, Reply)

@TGB
Yup I hates them! they are the only animal that gives me the collywobbles!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)

Hahaha!
That's brilliant too Dit! :)

Well we have to find the humour in these situations. Otherwise it's just too weird.

Ooh that's just reminded me of another experience... not as funny though, and a bit disturbing :(
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)

BK
come join me and clendrix in rollie smokey heaven. I'm actually having a total spaz out here trying to do it. I just put some tobacco in my coffee to try and stave of my need for a smoke but now it just looks like I have pubes in my coffee. :(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)

Golden Virginia
In blue rizzla with a filter.

It's a healthy smoke don't you know.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:12, Reply)

My rollies are usually perfect
Well... with 17 years or so rolling experience I'm used to it by now...

And I use licorice papers, white ones are unruly. And taste nasty.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:12, Reply)

hahah!
You put tobacco in your coffee!
*officelols*

*falls off chair*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:13, Reply)

aaah b3ta
gotta love it.

also, gotta love having a beard and 'burns

I've been working on something new with my 'tache recently too. not quite ready yet...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:14, Reply)

Beards Again?
I sense an obsessive one man crusade against the cruel imperialistic forces of beard-ness, leading to the freedom-fighting Give-All-Your-Money-To-Gillette hero being strapped to the block before being tickled relentlessly with recycled tramp beards.

Or something like that. I quite fancy losing the middle bit and going for the Fu Manchu look, I would grow the sideys into a proper pair off bugger's grips but there are things in the way. Curses.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:14, Reply)

To be honest
I usually smoke Mayfair - the tramps choice - so any other cigarettes are a welcome change. Apart from Richmond. Bleurgh.

EDIT TGB yeah it's horrid. Don't try it.

I'm off to return a printer to John Lewis. Back soon.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:14, Reply)

I don't smoke
but if I bring cake, can I come too?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)

@ Batman
Well, I hope to indulge in a few smokes with Clenders on Saturday evening.

Come down and I shall roll fags for you:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)

Beekers
What fun!
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Batman
I smoke Mayfair

*is a tramp*

*swigs some more cider*

*growls at pesky kids*
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)

However
Jack Daniels is pish.

Overpriced pish. Although not as bad as Wild Turkey.

If you're gonna drink whisky (note spelling, Septics and Bogtrotters :)), drink whisky. Leave overpriced kerosene to those who enjoy Oprah, Assault Weapons and inbreeding.

Or drink gin. Cold, cold, gin. Yum.

Or satanically powerful dark rum.

And especially with Fentimans Ginger Beer. Whoever mentioned that has made me all thirsty, never a good thing when you're using oven cleaner.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)

I am tempted,
for my trip to Vegas, to lose the beard, but keep the 'tache and the bit under my bottom lip and go for a full on 'musketeer'.

Yes. I think I shall.

EDIT: osk, watch it with the mention of Gin, you'll start Stig off again... ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)

Mayfairs?
Oh...
I smoke Lucky Strikes.
*shrugs*

Although when I'm drunk I have a nasty habit of breaking the filters off first.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Oh
I'd forgotten all about dark rum.

OVD the choice of the older generation!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

I'm hooked on
red lucky strikes. MM toasted goodness :p

I hope no one smokes Lambert and Butler? In the local paper several years ago was the story of a ram rain on a corner shop where they dtole all the cigarettes, except the L&Bs! I laughed :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

I like JD
but it's best on its own with no ice. Hard to choose between that and gin, though.

Hmm...bearded man bearing JD and gin.

*disappears for a while*
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

cold, cold gin
In some homemade lemonade.

On a hot, hot day in the garden.

Yum.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

We're all bearded alcoholics
with an inescapable penchant for nicotine.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Osok
JD isn't real whisky anyway is it. It a sour mash pissy drink!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)

golden virginia rollies ftw
well actually joints are best

liquorice papers though...bleurgh

rizla blues, or kingsize slim rizla silvers are the way forth!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:24, Reply)

I smoke
Golden Virginia mostly.

But when I run out I resort to Albanian homegrown.

If you tried it you would see why the licorice papers are necessary :(
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)

So the subject has turned to fags and whiskey
I shouldn't be surprised.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:31, Reply)

I read "rum" there somewhere...
I love rum.

Stroh (or however you spell it) for the win.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Woo
I'm back. Trip to John Lewis was awesome! I "accidentally" wandered in to the toys department and they have Star Wars clone trooper helmets, real life size ones. They had one on display which you could try on but it wouldn't go over my massive head. The security guard also asked me what I was doing which I thought was rather obvious having a Clone Troop helmet on my head. Doughball.

And Mayfair smooth are the best cigarettes known to man although I do like Marlboro Reds some times.

Kaol...that's disgusting, do you not end up with tobacco hanging out your teeth?

And BK where are you meeting? I'll be there (probably won't. Can you post me some rollies please?)

And HLT yes come to our picnic, it'll be much fun.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)

@Kaol
When you go to Edinburgh try to get a bottle of OVD, it's a dark rum.

Not sure if you'll get any though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:36, Reply)

*misses Marlboro Reds*
Still, I only smoke when B3tans are around... You lot are a bad influence on little angelic demonic moi!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:36, Reply)

@TGB
My law didn't take away people's right to express their religious beliefs. It prohibited them to exhibit it in public.

Secularism is a complete separation of church and state (I just took it to the next level). I wanted people to walk down the street without being scolded for believing in the wrong God or having the wrong sexual orientation.

People are quick to say "These are my personal beliefs"....so keep them personal! It was pretty clear what I wrote.

Incidentally, I didn't want to talk about beards, other people brought up the topic.....again! I was trying to see what kind of laws you lot would like to pass.

I'd like to draw a line under this now.

@Dok

Nothing wrong with being silly...though, I'd draw the line at trying on the bras and knickers! :O)
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)

I've just had a look in the booze cupboard
for something to put in the fruit cake I'm going to make, and found a bottle of Ouzo.
Where did I get that from?
Will it go in a fruit cake?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Herr Dok
We agree on the *ptooooieee* JD.

OVD Rum - schlurp.
Watson's Trawler Rum - Double Schlurp
Pusser's Rum - My legs don't work. Where am I?
Tesco Finest Golden Wum - surprisingly good for £13 a go.

I could go on. And on. And on.

Marlboros/Camels for me. Lights these days as I am old, but I still have a soft, phlegmy spot for Gitanes, Gauloise, Sweet Afton and Senior Service. No-one steals unfiltered smokes!


Eds: Mrs L ,in the name of Bob, nooooooooooo!
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)

OVD bleurgh
I can't handle rum. Makes my tummy squiffy.

Stig...one you've tried on a nice pair of lacey french knickers it all starts to make sense. Well it did for my old man and he turned out all right.

Speaking of cigarettes my mate brought me back some Marlboro lights from South America. Usually I hate them but they were free so wasn't going to knock them but they're surprisingly tasty. They're white tipped with 3 gold bands on the filter, dunno if that means anything?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:40, Reply)

OUZO?
Not in a fruit cake, trust me.

This plays right into my theory that every drinks cabinet, in the known world, has ouzo in it. Somehow.

EDIT: Batman, nah, I just turn 'em round. Seems to work.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

TGB
Riding a unicorn would hurt surely, unless it was a young one?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

I'll use some
Whiskey in that case then.

I honestly have no idea where it's come from, it's like Camp Coffee. No one ever buys the stuff, it's just in the house when you move in.

Right, to the kitchen...........
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)

@ Stig
And just what do you have against wearing womens undergarments?

My ex wife got me to do that a couple of time for Teh Sexytimes.

Not as bad as some of the things I got her to do!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Kaol
Your theory is flawed. I don't have ouzo.

Then again, I don't have a drinks cabinet...

Osok... Camel? I didn't know they still made them. They were my first preferred smokes.

*goes nostalgic*

*realises that starting my smoking career with Camel probably accounts for a lot*

*coughs up a lung*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)

OMG
*bleaches brain*
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)

Well
Foreign "lights" are never quite as light as the ones here so they do taste better IMO.

Mrs L go for it, and then send me some! nom

Ethelred! Get your mind out of the gutter!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)

Stig!
Would it be fair to say that you're telling us your personal beliefs? ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:44, Reply)

@Dok and Batman...
I've clearly led a sheltered life! I grew thinking (quite logically, I thought) that women's underwear was for....oooh I don't know....women? And Men's underwear was for......I'll take a guess.....men?
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)

Stig
What're your opinions on kilts then?
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)

@ Stig
I actually look pretty ace in a dress and lady scanties.

Ladies wearing my jockeys FTW!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)

@Kaol
I can honestly say that I have never had Ouzo in my house.

Osok, somebody once tried to give me Captain Morgans (yaks piss if you ask me), just because I said I liked OVD! What a twunt.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)

I quite like wearing
boxer shorts.
But then I wonder if that has something to do with the fact that I have a massive penis?
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)

Thanks TGB
That's what I thought. They're scrummy, go extremely well with coffee and a yorkie bar. Man, my life is one never-ending cycle of excitement.

Stig...do it. My ex-girlfriend dared me to try it a few times and I did. I really enjoyed it. But then perhaps I should stop talking.

*thinks of boobs*
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:48, Reply)

Well fine,
Prove me wrong then.

You bastard.

*frowns*
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:49, Reply)

TGB
Its not in the gutter, its halfway down the ditch!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:50, Reply)

@Stig
True.

But there is nothing wrong with it!

See that is where convention come into play.

As Kaol asked, where do you stand on kilts?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:51, Reply)

@ Kaol
No problems with Kilts.

I ought to clarify that, transvestitism is non-sense. Wear what you want, it's just clothing. I'm just saying, it's not for me!

Having said that, BK, why did you try a dress on? I'd love to see you in a dress, sporting a beard which would put Brian Blessed to shame!

Such a juxtaposition! A dress, the ultimate symbol of feminity and a beard, the ultimate symbol of masculinity.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:51, Reply)

I used to have the best pair of pants
ever.

They were red on one leg and black on the other with a shiny foil thing of Darth Maul on the black leg and shiny foil of Darth Vader on the red leg. The waistband also said "The Dark Side" in ominous writing. My bint of an ex never let me wear them and eventually chucked them out. I chucked her in the end but I never got my Dark Side pants back.

Sorry had to share that with you guys.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:52, Reply)

*thinks of batman wearing a bra*
Wait what were we talking about...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Awh Batman!
*hugs*

You poor man.

An ex of mine threw out my Tramp Shirt.
I'll never forgive her for that.
I was given it by a homeless man, and it was the most comfy shirt I've ever owned.
( Cawl, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)

my pants
.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:55, Reply)

TGB
George Clooney, Adam West, Val Kilmer or another one?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I wore a dress
as a favour for a friend's photography project - she took loads of pics of me getting ready as if I was going to do a drag act.

I decided it was comfy, apart from the heels.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Ethelred
Adam West, just because he needs one now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)

We need proof BK
photographic proof...

Thanks Koal.

*hugs back*
*grabs ass*

Are you wearing a thong?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)

Ethelred you are heading towards
a spang! I wrote spank by accident first off but I don't feel I should encourage you.

Batman so - you wearing bra and pants? Maybe a kilt as well and one of those little pouch things made from a beard?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)

I have
worn many dresses in my time. But that's mainly because of pantomime.

I think I've told the story of when I played Posh Spice. *shudder*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)

TGB
I am wearing a kilt as we speak but no bra and no pants of any kind I'm afraid.

As for a sporran...mines just brown leather with a skull and crossbones on it. Although I do have a silver fox one at home which kicks the botty.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:02, Reply)

I'd just like to add
that the JD is a freebie from a muslim who's had one of those "I'm never drinking again" hangovers.

I'll also add that seems to be going very well with ginger beer :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)

*peaks under kilt*
*giggles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)

All this talk of kilts
Has reminded me that I need to get mine.

As a Scotsman, who's father wore one to school I feel ashamed that I don't have mine!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Herr Dok
I might know someone who can help you out with getting a kilt...

TGB It's cold today...:(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:08, Reply)

I would like to propose
that we instigate B3ta Cross-dressing Day, immediately.

We'll all throw our car keys into a fruit bowl and ... er no, hang on.

We'll all put our names in a hat and whoever we draw we have to swap clothes with.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)

And who would that be
Batman you kilt wearing wonder?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)

TGB
PEAKS under kilt?

Pun intended?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:11, Reply)

@ No31
My ex used to drink JD and Fentimans ginger beer. That was how I got a taste for it. He eventually got a bit grumpy when he had to fight me to get his drink back.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:12, Reply)

It wasn't an evil giggle Batman!
But I'll come back when it's warmer :p

hehe love it Fuzzy! *puts name in hat*

edit: errr yes Wookiee I am that good I intended that *cough*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Unfortunately Batman
I don't have copies.

And wouldn't be silly enough to put them on the fnternet anyway:P

@Fuzzy
I have swapped clothes with a few female friends in pubs a few times back at uni.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Ooh, where woz I
Had to have another truly depressing convo with the headhunter/lying bastard. Hanyway:

Fuzzy, yep camels are still alive and kicking. I even used to buy the non-filtered ones from the posh tobacconists on the way up to the University from Princes Street (more recent Embra residents will be more accurate).

Hwark Hhhrraaawwwkkkkk Hrrrwwkk Flob. Ahh that's better.

Dok: Cap'n Morgan is OK as a substitute for the real thing if you're desperate. Also Lamb's. Asda pikey-price is to be avoided as it has similar effects to a stroke.

Women's underwear? Only once, at the request of the lady in question. She at one stage insisted in being interfered with while I kept my cowboy boots on, and to be quite honest I wasn't going to say no to one of her more inventive nights. If I was to try the same thing today, 15 or so years later and considerably heavier and less hairy, all you would get would be hysterical laughter and possible projectile vomiting.

Kilts rock, though.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:13, Reply)

To anyone who has met me.....
....which I think is just the Dok, the next statement is going to sound very bizarre.

My surname is Irish, so I ought to do some research on what my Irish kilt would look like...!

Should I ever get married (highly flipping unlikely), then I wouldn't mind wear one to my wedding.
(The Stig, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Herr Dok
It's me. I run a kilt shop...surprise!

TGB I'm standing over a heater, look now, look now!

BK...Poor show, poor show indeed.

EDIT Stig, gaz me your surname and I can look in to it if you like. I've done it for a few other folk before so it's quite easy.

Osok...sex with cowboy boots on FTW!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:14, Reply)

Batman...
Should we ever meet, I will be unable to see you without picturing you standing over a vent coquettishly with your kilt blowing skywards and a big grin on your face.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:17, Reply)

PUB TIME!
Nearly...
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:19, Reply)

*looks now*
oooh eeerrr ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:20, Reply)

fuzzy
I have no idea what that word means but that's literally what I do all day long. I go from place to place looking for warm places to stand on the off chance some rapscallion looks up my kilt.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:21, Reply)

Oh and also
I spoke to the fella about his kilt, the Irish one. The problem is that the original surname has been lost to the mists of time, which was why he was thwarted in his own attempts to track down his tartan.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:21, Reply)

TGB
Spank/Spang either way is fine with me.

Happy Birthday Paddington Bear BTW!

*happies*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:21, Reply)

Home time for me.
Catch you lovely people tomorrow!
( wanderlust, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:21, Reply)

Well
yunno the classic Munroe shot where she's wearing a white dress which is flapping about?

That's what I see, but she's wearing a kilt... and your head.

So perhaps coquettish isn't the word...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:23, Reply)

Well
I'm a Chisholm, so I can wear a kilt whenever I like.

*delurks*

*interjects*

*relurks*
( Kroney, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:23, Reply)

*runs in from the kitchen*
*spies Batman in a Kilt and tries to see if it's true what they say*

*runs back into the safety of the kitchen*
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:23, Reply)

Batman
I'll have to Gaz you soon to find out prices and stuff, r do you have a Website?

I'm away home now so I'll do that later.

Woo Hoo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:25, Reply)

That Kroney
is very decisive. No threaded waffling for him.






Mmmm...waffles.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:27, Reply)

mmmmm
pancakes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:29, Reply)

fuzzy
that's the exact shot I was thinking of oddly enough. Me and Marlyn got it going on.

I was tempted to wear my kilt for the Edinburgh bash but now I'm not so sure. I'm a bit nervous...

clendrix...waffling?me?no more picnics for us.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Batman
*cries*

I was going to bring waffles...
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:31, Reply)

I don't know about decisive
but I'm at work most of the time when I'm on B3ta and I can't really get away with posting much.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:33, Reply)

@ Batman
I would be very tempted to hire a kilt for the edinburgh bash!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:33, Reply)

I waffle too much
I know, I was only kidding. Every Monday lets go for a picnic?

BK...Do it! It'll be awesome.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:34, Reply)

So...
if all the men at the Edinburgh bash are wearing skirts, I may have to wear a tache :)

Seriously, if you do wear kilts, count me in for that one...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Hey, Batman!
I am getting married next year, and I am doing so in a Kilt. International Tartans designed a tartan for the Danes (of which I am one), so I wanted to get a kilt in my tartan made.

How much do you think it would cost?

TRUFAX: Kilt is from the Danish word Kilte. Oh yes.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:39, Reply)

Kroney...
be decisive and maintain your air of mystery.

Monday is Picnic Day, Batman. Get your basket out.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:41, Reply)

DiT
Do you know who's weaving it? Do you have a serial/registration number for it?

If you can get the cloth yourself we can make you one for around £120. If we supply the cloth they start at £299.

And congratulations on the wedding!

EDIT Clendrix. Sounds good, you bring the rolling stuff and I'll bring food, booze and a warm blanket?

fuzzy...we'll wear kilts you wear a tache? Deal!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:43, Reply)

@ Batman
*spits*

*shakes hands*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:47, Reply)

Hurrah!
Rollies and blankets. And food.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Hey ancrenne
*hugs*

I wish I had a lie-in.
I'm shattered:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)

fuzzy
When I first read that I thought you were spitting at me, boooo!

But then I realised we were making a deal so that's ok, yay! I went through a whole range of emotions there.

And booze. Lots of booze, don't forget that clendrix.

Hey Ancrenne, how was the walk? Did you enjoy it?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)

Edinburgh
I shall, of course, be wearing my pink shorts.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:55, Reply)

@Ancrenne
Hello darling!
*hugs*

And goodbye! I'm outta here! Have a good evening, all.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:01, Reply)

Morning ancrenne
I'm regularly staying up til 4 or 5 and waking up at lunchtime :(

Last night I beat my record and didn't get to sleep til about 6.30... set my alarm for 12.30 and hoped I would be tired enough today to get to sleep earlier... but I suspect the caffeine I have imbibed to get me through the day will override it.

@Batman - I would NEVER spit at a man in a kilt! Not unless he spat first.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:03, Reply)

Batman
Cheers dude. It's Scottish World Tartan Register No. 3129.

When you say, 'supply the cloth'...?

EDIT: Hallo, ancrenne!

*waves coyly*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:03, Reply)

fuzzy
That's fair enough then! I'll have me kilt all looked out and ready to rock for the Edinburgh bash then! You get your tache ready.

Ancrenne that sounds lovely. Glad you had a good one.

DiT Yeah when I say we supply the cloth I mean if one of the main Mills we buy from sells it then all you have to do is come in, get measured give us some money and we take care of the rest.

Quite often independent mills or private tartan owners will only sell the cloth to a customer directly and not to a registered company for some reason.

Apologies if that doesn't make any sense but leave it with me, I'm heading home in 10 minutes and have no t'interweb so in my flat so I'll have a look tomorrow and gaz you with some info?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Cheers Batman!
That'd be grand!

Have a great evening!

EDIT: Ancrenne, you're looking pretty darned super yourself!

Right, I'm off home to make t-shirts! Bye!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:20, Reply)

No worries dude!
I'm off as well, bye everybody, have a good evening!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:29, Reply)

has everyone gone?
may as well have a gin then.

*gins*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:44, Reply)

ah, gin
I think I'll have one too.

*gins*
(bagofpinenuts, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:46, Reply)

*grins*
oh wait.. what?

*ciders*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:48, Reply)

Gin?
Oh please.

It was warm enough today for a G and T.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:50, Reply)

Yay for gin!
*pours*
*drinks*

*hugs everyone*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:51, Reply)

Ancrenne
As my father says 'the sun is over the yard arm somewhere in the Empire'.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:56, Reply)

I really should be working on
a calendar.... but I may stay here for a drink or five :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:57, Reply)

Hasn't this
crocus person made an appearance before?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:59, Reply)

*ushers everyone to the evening thread*
400 replies are enough for here!

There is also gin in the new thread
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 18:00, Reply)

@ Ancrenne
And he's really like that. Take the Colonel from Fawlty Towers and the bumpkin chap from the ads for Glastonbury on the BBC (the one who talks about a woman having no top on) mix them together and you've got him.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 18:03, Reply)