Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Home, sweet home vs QOTDMorning ppl! I'm in an... interesting mood today. Fell asleep last night feeling sad and it transferred to this morning.
So... bring on the bad jokes!
*fleetingly considers opening the gin*
QOTD: with thanks to The Stig - what would your last meal be, and why? Starter, main, dessert and a drink.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:37,
504 replies,
latest was 16 years ago)
MorningAfraid I don't have much to offer in the way of jokes. I could offer you some frosties though?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:39, Reply)
Bad joke alert!A man was in his car, driving along, when his boss rang up. The boss said "You've been promoted to supervisor! Nice one!" The gentleman swerved. 15 minutes later, his boss rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again, to manager! Congratulations!" The gentleman swerved again. 30 mintues later,his boss rang a third time and said "You're managing director! Excellent!" The gentleman couldn't control the car and plughed straight into a tree. When the gentleman come to, a policeman came up and said "What happened to you?" Dazed, confused, but still fairly lucid, the gentleman said "I.....I....I don't know. I think I careered off the road........!"
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:48, Reply)
Wowsers!Frosties! Haven't had those in ages! I used to survive on Frosties, toast and tea.
*graciously accepts*
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:49,
Reply)
Everyone loves the frosted goodnessMorning Stig.
Today I have a fun day of a lecture, running errands, doing work, going to a career fair, and then more work.
Anyone else up to anything at all more fun than me?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:52, Reply)
Aha. Baaaad :)Morning Stig.
Edit: today I will be dossing here, working a bit, eating, and playing Zelda. My life is crazy!
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:52,
Reply)
Rubbish joke...What wobbles as it flies?
A jelly-copter.
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wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:54,
Reply)
Morning, all!Glad you see you groaned at the joke as well!
Just been talking to someone at work about spiders and other dangerous creatures coming into the UK.
Now this is the paradox, I've come face to face with a lion, I've wrestled crazy dogs (even one which had its teeth deep into my forearm) and had no fear. If I see a spider or an insect.....I freak! And I mean, run away screaming!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:06, Reply)
Morning allMy brain is too mushed for jokes at this time of the morning. And I'm still feeling jet lagged, despite 10 hours sleep last night.
*seeks out caffeinated beverage*
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:21,
Reply)
Morning lusty, alI think it's working :)
Edit: and K2k6! Where ya been?
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:22,
Reply)
Morning AllDoctor Doctor, I feel like a train crash.
'Well, you've obviously gone off the rails.'
/sorry
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:29, Reply)
*slurps cheap version of Red Bull*That's better.
I've been up in Shetland at a music festival. And I've had very little sleep. It feels just like jet lag, as I've been going to bed near my normal getting up time, and getting up nearer lunchtime!
Managed plenty of sex though :)
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:29,
Reply)
That's a damned good excuse for being tired!Gotta get me some festival sex!
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:31,
Reply)
*coughs*Yes, well, it's been a while.
Unfortunately the lady in question lives several hundred miles from me. But we'll see what happens.
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:33,
Reply)
Need more funnies!Have meeting with the bank this morning and meeting with accountenants this after. Damn the credit crunch:-(
So please cheer me up!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:36, Reply)
Morning allA fella calls EasyJet to book a seat on the 06.00 to Malaga "And how many will be traveling with you sir?" asks the assistant.
"How should I know? It's your fucking plane".
Are we all tickety boo this morning?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:36, Reply)
Morning allIn work, this seems like a bad joke in and of itself if you ask me!
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jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:38,
Reply)
Not bad jokeMy daughter told me this one then collapsed in a fit of giggles...
What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.
Edit: morning piggy, Swan, pissedand...
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:39,
Reply)
good morning allI have been in my office since 8 (almost 2 hours now) and am bored as hell.
Frosted chocolate muffins for breakfast though :)
How are we today?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:41, Reply)
Morning fleshI assume you're not in England then?
Morning Swannie - South Yorkshire sucks this morning don't it?
Morning No31 - one of my favourite jokes that :-)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:43, Reply)
Hmm good question Stig.Decide on something and I'll stick it in the header.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:49,
Reply)
Long one (which I'm ashamed to say I have told in a restaurant with miming)Two dwarves are pissed off with not getting any so decide to go to London and find some whores.
They book into the Hilton with adjoining hotel rooms, deposit their bags and go out for a couple of nerve steadying beers and in search of prostitutes. Upon finding a couple of likely looking ladies they secure their services for a night and make their way back to the hotel.
The first dwarf is mortified when he can't get a hard on for love nor money, so the brass starts playing with his balls, shoves her finger up his arse, sucking his dick and still nothing! The shame is compounded when he hears from his friends room "One, two, three HUP! and the bedhead slamming into the adjoining wall.
The little fella's so hacked off he pays the brass and gets his head down for the night. The next day his mate comes down to breakfast and asks how it went "A bloody nightmare" he says "I couldn't get a rise -she was playing with my balls, shoved her finger up my arse, sucked my dick and still sweet FA. It didn't help with you as well you bastard .... All that one, two, three HUP! business."
"Fuck off" says his mate "I couldn't get on the fucking bed."
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:49, Reply)
Here's the QOTD....What would be your last meal and why? You can have a starter, main course and dessert accompanied by one drink.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:51, Reply)
Morning allI'll give you a joke that you're bound to have heard before but had my 8 year old in fits when he told me....
Why did the baker have to wash his hands?
Because he kneeded a poo!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:54, Reply)
@ MisspiggyYes, It's shit. Ne'er a more weary day has darkened my little patch of God's County in a while.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)
Morning all!Continuing the bad jokes...
A driver gets pulled over and the policeman looks at the guys licence and says
"Says here you should be wearing glasses to drive"
"I have contacts" replied the man
"I don't care who you know sonny!"
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:02,
Reply)
.Mooooooooooorniiiiiiiiiiing.
Yesterday, I got in to work too early, so I'm staying here for a bit.
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mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:02,
Reply)
MorningI went to the dentist yesterday, needed a tooth pulled.
"How much for getting my tooth pulled?" I asked.
"90 quid."
"What? 90 quid for a few minutes work?"
"I can pull it out really slowly if you like."
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:02, Reply)
Nice one Stig. Done!Mine would be:
Nachos, with sour cream, guacamole, salsa, stacks of strong melted cheese, green chili and sweet chili dipping sauce - anyone who's ever eaten one of these in a Hard Rock Cafe will appreciate what I'm aiming for
A whole Strongbow-stuffed barbeque chicken, bacon and chips with skins on, coleslaw and tomato ketchup.
A selection of jam, toffee, apple, custard and iced doughnuts, with a range of sprinkles like hundreds and thousands and chopped pistachio nuts.
A barrel of the finest rose-ay wine money can buy.
Edit: TGB... that's ace!
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:04,
Reply)
My last mealStarter: Bran flakes
Main: Double Cheeseburger
Desert: Chicken Vindaloo
Drink: A used tampon dipped in a cup of hot water.
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mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:08,
Reply)
Heh mrspak"Just show it the tampon."
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:11,
Reply)
Goodmorning everyone.Congratulations to K2K6 for getting his leg over. Woo!
My last meal would be....
Chips for starter
Chips for main
Chips for dessert
And beer.
I have simple tastes.
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girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:11,
Reply)
And soA day of documentation-reading awaits. Bye...
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mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:12,
Reply)
Morning bgbLiking the sig. I have much the same arrangement :)
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:14,
Reply)
@No31I have a fondness for men in frocks.
Especially the butch ones.
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girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:21,
Reply)
Hmmm. I would have.Starter: crispy bacon with chicken liver on toasted ciabatta with seasonal salad.
Main: Steak, a fucking big one,barley cooked, with stilton and melted butter, chips and mushrooms.
Dessert: Hot Apple crumble with cornish ice cream made with clotted cream.
Drink: a barrel of Old Speckled Hen (on tap)
Why?
Because that would be a fucking great meal.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:21, Reply)
Good Moaning AllI've had about 4 hours sleep.
A dream about putting on a Metallica gig on a giant floating stadium/ship which was being attacked by giant 50 foot women, and the mike lead wasn't long anough (eh?)
The baby is not feeling very well, so I'm sitting here watching the Wonder Pets with her and trying to prevent my brain dissolving (it's a bit surreal).
I need nicotine, caffeine and possibly culling.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:22, Reply)
@BGBI'm pretty much open to offers! Message me for a price list! :O)
@N03l
thanks, I thought it was a good question!
Starter: Homemade chicken and vegetable soup
Main Course: A luxury shephard's pie with sweetcorn, green beans (al dente, naturally!) and peas with a litre of gravy on stand-by.
Dessert: a Rhubarb crumble and custard
Drink: a large shot of Courvoisier to round off the meal!
Why? Because it's sheer, unadulterated class!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:22, Reply)
It would depend.On why it was my last meal.
If I was dying of a disease it would be;
Starter - Tomato Soup
Main - Squid in Squid ink sauce
Desert - Black Forrest Gataux
Drink - Beer
If I was going to be executed;
Starter - Tomato Soup
Main - Bread with a gun in it
Desert - Cake with an explosive in it
Drink - Water
I love Tomato soup.
Morning all
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:25, Reply)
Never rightHow do you have your steak?
I had a weird dream where two of my teeth fell out :( Freaked me out this morning as I only remembered when I was brushing my teeth!
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:26,
Reply)
If it's our last meal can I also say how I want to die?I'd like to be suffocated in a bath full of chips.
Thankyouverymuch.
Have I mentioned I like chips a lot?
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girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:26,
Reply)
I think chips are over-rated........I'm more of a Potato gratin kind of gentleman.
Hard work, being middle class! :O)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:28, Reply)
Thanks for that iamge BGBI'll have to file it under things to get people to eat and kill them with!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:30, Reply)
Morning everyoneI would have:
Starter - breaded camembert
Main - lasagne
Pud - Custard
Drink - Shiraz
*noms*
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:31,
Reply)
Morning all!How are we doing? Sorry about my lack of involvement, I had a couple of rubbish days at work so I haven't been able to post much.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)
@StigYou can't beat a good chip. I find that it can only be topped by a good bowl of mash.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)
Are you a bit wound up TGB?Dreaming about your teeth falling out means you're worried about bad things happening. Apparently...
Go and make yourself a lovely cup of tea and relax a bit.
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wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:32,
Reply)
I'm thinking about this last meal businessand have no ideas about why, but it would probably be something like:
-Breaded mushrooms with a garlic cream dip
-Salmon steak with a suitably tasty sauce and crispy veg
-Chocolate dessert made with chocolate cake, served with chocolate sauce and ice cream, and perhaps with extra chocolate.
Drink - Aussie Durif. It's so red it's almost black.
Thank you for your kind thoughts, BGB! :)
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:33,
Reply)
@TGBMedium-Rare.
If its a nice thick medallion fillet about 2 inch thick then at least an an inch and a quarter of it must be red.
Melts in the mouth it does.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)
Hey Lusty :)I am always wound up! But yeah I guess the money stuff is probably still dwelling on my mind!
And probably other things that my subconscious is harbouring!
Tea sounds like an awesome idea! *waves at jim and Dok*
BK! *hugs*
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:34,
Reply)
@ DokMashed potatos are nice, provided they're done correctly. i.e a little butter, sliced green beans and whipped to a smooth consistency, rather than a fluffy texture.
Chips? Nah! You can keep them. Potato Gratin wins hands down!
I like the finer things in life, my friend. :O)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:35, Reply)
The Last SupperStarter: Enormous Tiger Prawns swimming in garlic butter, seasoned with black pepper and a smidge of lime juice. Or, depending on season and availability, a simple charcoal grilled mackerel fillet, caught that day.
Mains: BFO Steak (Rare) with all the trimmings. Hereford or Aberdeen Angus beef, dry hung for at least a fortnight, naturally.
Dessert: I have no sweet tooth, so I'll go back a century or so and opt for a savoury, either a roast woodcock on toast, or maybe angels on horseback.
To finish, a really whiffy stilton and a chunk of crusty bread.
The wine list: a nice Boxhead Reisling with the starter, a vintage Tempranillo with the former cow, Crusty Port with the Cheese, and either Glenmorangie Solera Reserve or a 20 year old Armagnac to chase it all down.
Mind you, I'd settle for faggots, peas, chips and gravy and a pint of IPA if I was in a hurry.
(Never ask a foodie this question)
Edit Or Mr MacSween's Finest Haggis, Tatties, Neeps and a bottle of Highland Park.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:35, Reply)
Hey TGB *hugs*And hello Lusty! *noms*
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:37,
Reply)
and for my last mealStarter-
Shami Kebab, shish Kebab, aloo chat, onion Bahgees, yorkshire pudding and onion gravy
main-
Lamb Dopiaza, chicken shaslik, chicken ackora, lamb bhuna, curried chickpeas, sag aloo, plain naan, plain rice.
Pudding- a viennetta
drinks- wahsed down with umbel, exmoor gold, brains mild and wherry.
After all that death would be a blessing!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)
An alleged jokeWhat's brown and sticky?
A Stick.
Thankyou Primary 2.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Last meal.....Hmm tricky one.
Starter : thai crab cakes with really hot dipping sauce.
Main: Well-seasoned duck breast on a bed of garlic mash with crispy veg
Pud : Rhubarb crumble with THICK custard.
Drink : a nice Primitivo
That's made me really hungry now. Damn.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)
There's a new Kashmiri guy hereHe doesn't speak much english... I just helped him with some heavy lifting and he said...
"Thankyouplease!"
I had to stop myself from laughing in his face. It has, however, cheered me up by 4%*
* estimated cheer-up value
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:41,
Reply)
@osokI'm always amused by seeing IPA written on pub price boards.
At work we use propan-2-ol, otherwise known as isopropanol, or isopropyl alcohol, for washing substrates. The latter name gives rise to its normal abbreviation - IPA.
It's not really stuff that you want to drink.
I also have had odd looks when visitors think we are washing things in ale...
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:41,
Reply)
Last meal?Just give me a packet of Haribo and lets get it over and done with.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)
@K26kWe have Propan-2-ol at work, too, and I know what you mean (it would mangle your liver to pate!).
Having said that, that was the geekiest thing you could have possibly said....and I work in the same industry!!!!
Shame on you, K26k! Shame....on.....you!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)
*returns with tea*ugh I have a voicemail on my phone from a very boring sounding man wanting to talk to me about Marinas *cries*
I may end up pulling my own teeth out after I call him back.
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:46,
Reply)
@OsokThat's my favorite joke in the whole wide world.
I did mention I had simple tastes.
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girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:47,
Reply)
My last meal would bechocolate brownies and cream eaten off the washboard stomach of a hot and sweaty naked fireman.
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wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:49,
Reply)
@LustyI'm presuming this fireman has a beard?
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:50,
Reply)
@ K2k6Go on then, who's the lucky lady?
*nosies*
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:51,
Reply)
He doesn't have to have a beard.I think manly stubble would be enough.
Also...Am I that predictable? :(
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wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:53,
Reply)
Not sure about predictableBut beards do tend to come up quite a lot, much to the annoyance of teh Stig.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:55, Reply)
When is stubble not manly?*rubs five-day stubbled chin*
Come to mention it, I've been with a woman like that...
*drifts off*
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:55,
Reply)
Morning!Bad Joke:
Doctor, Doctor, there's a bone in my throat!
Are you choking?
Of course not, I'm serious!
Also, my last meal:
Starter: Salmon Gravadlax with a crisp white Sauvignon.
Main: Nothing too frilly: Fillet of Whisky-fed and massaged Kobe Beef (Blue) (16oz), with Pont Neuf, a peppercorn sauce and a
Desert: Profiteroles and a snifter of Louis XIII Brandy.
Cheeseboard, of course, accompanied by a chilled bottle of Krug.
And just to top it all off, a pint of Tuborg. ;)
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:56,
Reply)
Nobody you know, BK!She's not a b3tard. Just someone I've known for quite a long time, but we'd never really hooked up before.
But we did at the weekend, and we decided that we could and really should have done it years ago!
*is pleased*
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:56,
Reply)
Do women actually find...........six packed stomachs attractive? Perosnally, I'd rather just keep my stomach flat. six packs, just look.....well.....wrong.
Don't take what I say too seriously. You're talking to someone who's been single for 6 years. So I know next door to naff all about relationships and the opposite gender!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:56, Reply)
Six packs can be nice.But so can wobbly bits. It just depends on who the six pack or wobbly bits belong to.
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wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:58,
Reply)
I've never had a six packso I wouldn't know!
I'm off to do some work for a bit. Back later.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:59,
Reply)
As long asthey are huggable I don't care!
*carries out hug testing on b3tans*
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:02,
Reply)
@Lusty.You're absolutely right, it does depend who its attached to.
Having said that, looks play a much bigger role than personality.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)
I hada six pack a few years ago, ub tthen started smoking and drinking again.
It's still fairly flat, just not toned.
I like a woman to have some wobbly bits.
*loves curvy ladies*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:04,
Reply)
Good morningI had a boyfriend with a sixpack who was an arsehole.
Neither Mr VP or I have perfect physiques but I know we wouldn't change each other.
TGB is right - the most important quality in a person is hug capability.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:04, Reply)
Crap Joke TimeMan walks into a library.
"I'd like a book on suicide please"
"Fuck Off"
"What???"
"You heard me, fuck off"
"Why?"
"Well, you won't be returning it, will you?"
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Yay for hugglesI agree, as long as the hug quotient is high it's all good!
*edit* @ Stig
So is it the looks or the personality that's been keeping you single for 6 years then? :P
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:06,
Reply)
StigI wouldn't agree with you there.
I've been out with people before who I didn't make me stop and think phwwooar what a fitty. But the more I got to know them and how funny/lovely they were the more I became attracted to them. I've also been out with people a lot better looking than myself who ended up being utter twats. I'll admit you have have to be attracted to someone to sleep with them, but it is possible to laugh someone into bed.
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:07,
Reply)
I think looks and physique play a bigger role........than people give credit for. If you saw a big fat person in a bar (doesn't matter what gender), most people would ignore or turn their noses up and move on. Very few (if any) would say "Cor! I bet he's got a nice personality!"
This is just in my experience and I don't like it....but that's the way I see things.
@ BK
Read my "Social gaffe" story and you'll find the answer.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)
LustyYou can also drug them (on the grounds of being so old and warty).
Points for source
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)
^what lusty saidI think looks can initially hook someone in but if the person is incredibly dull and you don't like spending time with them it's never going anywhere.
I am also immediately turned off by men who obviously spend hours and hours on their looks and think they are gods gift because ultimately they are nothing more than some hair gel and a Ben Sherman shirt.
Give me a scruffy guy who can help me work on my car and make me laugh any day of the week ;)
*drifts off*
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:10,
Reply)
StigIt looks like you're saying that all "fat" people must have a good personality because they have nothing else to go on.
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:14,
Reply)
I used fat people.........because it was the simplest way to exhibit my point.
I could have said someone with a birth defect or someone who's extremely thin or not very "good looking" (note the inverted commas).
The point remains the same. Without the inital "hook" it's tougher for people (like me) to get a partner.
That's all.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:18, Reply)
Chunky guys ftw!Washboard stomach's are ok for doing your washing on but not conducive for a squishy snuggle.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:21,
Reply)
I like my girls 'unusually attractive'Stunners are often vapid, self obsessed or just plain dull.
Give me a normal, happy, interesting and expressive girl any day. Preferably with curves.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:22,
Reply)
Maybe it's tough for you to findsomeone stig as you appear to be massively judgemental and superficial?
Your dream woman was probably that one you dismissed for being "fat" or because she was talking to a man with a beard...
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:23,
Reply)
Ok, but my point isHow many people here know someone who is in a long term, happy relationship with someone they met in a bar? I can think of one couple.
But every other couple I know met through friends, or social groups or other ways. All I'm saying is personality will win out in the end :)
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:23,
Reply)
@TGBAs I proved yesterday, you read into someone's statements (i.e mine) without understanding what they've actually written!
Where did I say I was superficial and dismissive in this thread?
I'm trying to point out how superficial society is! I'd never dismiss someone for being "fat" because I've been on the receiving end of behaviour like that and know it's not nice (read my "social gaffe" story).
Just because you talk about a certain experience in your life, doesn't mean you have to like the situation!
Much like I'm talking now. I don't like the fact that people are superficial, but I have to accept that people are like that.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)
Its in the eyesI am attracted by faces and eyes. Bright eyes, kind eyes and smiles. And runners' legs.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)
No3lYou hit the nail on the head the mate, and described every woman I've ever been out with.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:29, Reply)
*high-fives TGB*Couldn't have put it better myself.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:30,
Reply)
Morning guysHow's it going?
No3l...finished Band of Brothers last night, awesome.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:30, Reply)
LustyI am in a long term relationship after meeting in a bar.
Although I was working and had to look after Mr VP as he was drunk on his birthday and had to wait for our mutual friend (who was DJing) to pack up.
So our relationship is thanks to my amazing ability to provide a drunk man with water and make him smile when he starts to feel a bit sick.
Aint love grand.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:31, Reply)
Nice one manbat.It is all of the awesome :)
How the devil (tights or not) are you?
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:32,
Reply)
What No3l said re: womenBring on the curves!
@Lucy
I remember you telling us that the other Saturday and thinking it was really sweet! (I do remember some bits of that afternoon)
*edit* Hey Batman!
Not too bad thanks:D
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:33,
Reply)
BKWhere do curves end and fat begin? As a 'curvy' piggy I would like opinions on this before deciding how much weight I really want to loose. I DONT want to be thin, so curvy would be good.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:35, Reply)
BKOh yeah, I told you that then! What a good afternoon.
And yay for curves. Bigging up (ha, geddit!) a shapely figure!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:36, Reply)
@ misspiggyIf I climb on and vertigo doesn't kick in then they're curvy!
*edit* Ooh, and as your Sheffield based, fancy meeting in Wakey for mine and Piston_Broke's payday pint next Friday?
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:36,
Reply)
LVPOk, two couples :p
But I'm sure you're with him because he's lovely. Not because you thought to yourself phwoarr a drunk throwing up, sexy man. That's what I've been looking for.
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:37,
Reply)
Mmmm curvy womenI'm fine thanks dude, how are you?
I was genuinely choked up at the end of BoB (that's Band of Brothers, not a random chap called Bob whose end I was choking on.) but it was excellent. When they reveal who all the guys are the end and they talk about each other it's just bloody marvellous.
EDIT: Hullo BK *Hugs*...I mean *high 5*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)
@ piggyIt's more about the person. I've been with a couple of lovely heavy girls and really enjoyed myself.
Hope that doesn't make me sound like an arse.
Edit: that got me too Batman... and they chose precisely the right actors too eh?
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:38,
Reply)
LustyVery good point. I am definitely not with him for his wit and charm when under the influence.
Good god no.
I completely agree with what you're saying, I think that we would have got together whatever the circumstances of our meeting.
Some people just click with other people. If some couples hold appearance in more esteem that other couples then that's great. People are so varied and unusual!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)
@ No3lNo, you're ok. An ex of mine was a size 18.
I was going to put I had a whale of a time, but that would have made me sound like an arse.
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:39,
Reply)
Hey Batman!I never watched BoB (again Band of Brothers, I'm not allowed to watch Bob anymore after the incident and subsequent restraining order) as I don't really enjoy war stuff but people keep telling me I should watch it
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:40,
Reply)
TGBI was made to watch "the best episode" and I'll be honest, it didn't do anything for me.
Just not my thing.
But then I was drunk at the time.
And the person who recommended it to me doesn't appreciate TV that I enjoy so horses for courses!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
I've yet to have a meaningfulrelationship with someone I met in a bar/club (which is fair does once you've heard my drunken chat and seen the shapes I throw down on the dance floor. I said shapes...oh yes) but I do know plenty of folk who have.
I'm tempted to sign up for internet dating but is it really sad, has anyone used it to any success before?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)
@ Batman*hugs*
You know you really wanted a hug:P
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:44,
Reply)
AhemI think I'll just leave this here.
/shameless whore.
EDIT: I met my wife-to-be on the Internets, Batman. It can work (especially if you make friends first, are friends for 2 years, and then think 'oh, hang on, I rather fancy her', and then get together that way...
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:47,
Reply)
Internet datingI went on one date through a dating site. Had been chatting to the guy a while, seemed nice enough. So we arranged to meet for a drink. After an hour the hands started and he thought it was unreasonable of me not to want to go home with a complete stranger and have sex.
Eeuwwwwwwww!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:49, Reply)
BatmanB3ta is secretly a dating site.
Your details are running through the system now to check for matches
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:50,
Reply)
Hey TGB, are you well?Yeah war films don't really don't do it for me either but this was really good. Not as good as Sharpe mind, but good none-the-less. Bob is me isn't it? I took out a restraining order after you kilt peeking!
BK...you're right. That's all I ever want!
Well that and the ability to roll a decent cigarette.
EDIT TGB If that's the case my matches will be "Must like Bruce Springsteen, have little computer skills and enjoy listening to dull conversations about kilts"
That's my holy grail :(
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
'@BatmanNothing is as good as Sharpe!
I developed a confusing crush on Sean Bean at 14 because of that programme.
*waves fist as rugged Yorkshireman*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:55,
Reply)
You took out a restaining order?:( Well that's my evening's plans got to pot...
BK I think everyone fancied Sean Bean in Sharpe. Mmmmm Sharpe...
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:01,
Reply)
@BKSo, you cross dress....for a "laugh" and you fancy men.
Friend of Dorothy, maybe....? ;O)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)
Mornings again allIt's a fine day here. Well, when I say fine, I mean it's only rained for about half the time I've been awake so far.
All shipshape on here?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)
my last mealStarter: Tomato soup
Main course: Homemade mince pie, roast potatoes and gravy
Dessert: Chocolate cheese cake
Drink: Irn Bru
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)
BKAny man that can see Liz Hurleys tits and reply "Me compliments mam" in a thick Yorkshire accent is a hero of mine.
Have you seen Sean Bean recently though? He's looking absolutely terrible. There's a new Sharpe film due out sometime this or next month apparently.
TGB Yeah I'm only joking I wouldn't take out a restraining order. Peek away. What were your plans for this evening then?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
@ DiTAre you in fact me? I also met my fiance on t'interweb, got to be friends then hooked up properly later on. We've been together 5 years now. That's bloody scary that is!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
@ BatmanI'm 28 now, so I have got over such adolescent confusion thankfully.
@ Stig
Dorothy's a nice person, and she has those fabulous red shoes!
*Gok's*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:07,
Reply)
Batman I was just going to stalk youMaybe watch you through your window, possibly rummage through your rubbish to see if there is anything I can add to my shrine.
I haven't seen Sean Bean recently... I don't think I want to now! I am going to preserve my "Mind Bean" where he is all yummy and rugged and charging...
Excuse me for a minute *runs off*
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:07,
Reply)
*pops back in*I tried interweb dating once. Never got much out of it. Everyone I've ever been with has either been someone I've known for a while, or someone who's been introduced to me by mutual friends (although that didn't come to anything).
That said, one of my best mates met his current lady on an internet dating site. They've been together six months so far, and it's already looking more promising than his first marriage ever was, so it can work.
Edit@TGB - does 'preserving your mind-Bean' involve any other sort of bean-related activity? :)
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:08,
Reply)
*spots**flexes*
*hugs clendrix*
*edit* @K2
Getting laid hasn't swabbed your dirty mind any, has it?
*hypocrites*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:10,
Reply)
TGBUnless you want some dental floss, ear buds and an empty bottle of contact lens solution then it's slim picking today I'm afraid. Oh and some leftover vegetable curry I made which really isn't worth finding. I'm tempted to go as Sharpe for Halloween but the jacket is proving to be quite hard to find.
K2k6...hello and once again you are a filthy bugger.
EDIT What's this about K2k6 getting laid...?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
TGBPreserving your Mind Bean for special 'Bean Time' no doubt :P
EDIT: Gah k2k6, you beat me. Just proves I don't always blurt first I guess.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
@Pirate MonkeyI'm not you, but maybe you're me?
@K2K6: Like me and Pirate say, we made friends with girls on the interwebs, and then after a couple of years of working the charm the magic happens! ;P
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:14,
Reply)
k2k6, yes I am starting a wholeflick your bean for Sean Bean campaign.
And using this as the poster ad
i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/costumersguide/reused/sharpe.jpg
*quivers*
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:14,
Reply)
Bean time?I'm sure I know what that means, but I can't put my finger on it.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:15,
Reply)
If I had a bean I would flick it to that pictureas it turns out I'm just pinging my balls which isn't much fun.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)
No3lAre you being naughty? Along with your chums?
*unlurks*
I may as well be here. I'm doing feck all work-wise.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:17,
Reply)
No, indeedMy mind is still as filthy as ever. The only difference is that I've been brushing up on practice as well as theory over the weekend!
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:18,
Reply)
Me? Naughty?*flutters eyelashes*
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:18,
Reply)
*flicks bean*Sean Bean as Sharpe makes my lady bits feel all tingly.
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:18,
Reply)
@ TGB*quivers*
No! You've brought it all back!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:19,
Reply)
ClendrixWe are having a Sharpe appreciation meeting! We have tea and biscuits and private rooms
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:20,
Reply)
@ HCFB geekinessping myballs
Ping request could not find host myballs. Please check the name and try again.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)
Hahahahaha ethelredThat made me fall of my chair there. Thanks for that.
Heylo clendrix
*waves*
BK embrace your crush, you love it you slaaaaag.
K2k6 what happened over the weekend? Eh? Ehhhh?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)
BatmanYou've got a thing for Sean Bean?
Wow! I thought I had strange tastes!
I remembered another fancy I have.
Gillian Anderson. She is sex on a stick! Especially, when she looks sultry.
Like this:
www.timdrussell.com/images/fandom/gillian-anderson.jpg
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)
Ethelredtracert bean
Route to bean could not be found.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:22,
Reply)
Damnit!Never watched Sharpe.
/shameful
I do like Old Bean though, despite his love of The Blades.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:22,
Reply)
BK lusting after Sharpeis fine. Sharpe is loved by all.
hehe very good Ethelred :p
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:23,
Reply)
The StigI saw her in a play in London once, I did want some special 'me time' afterwards (and during the performance, but i doubt the other audience members would have approved)
She was phoar and a half of lully.
@ 31, you've made my geeky day!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
@HCFBSee my first couple of posts near the top of the thread for the weekend's events.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:25,
Reply)
clendrixat our next picnic I'll dress up as Sharpe and re-enact the Napoleonic wars for you. According to the TV series Sharpe single handedly one it so it shouldn't be too much of a task.
EDIT K2k6 Well played my friend. *high 5*. Hope it all works out for you. How was Sheltand anyway?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:26, Reply)
@ethelredMs Anderson isn't my all time favourite lady, but she's damn close.
I can't put my finger on it, but she just oozes sex appeal.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:27, Reply)
*bows*Damn Kaol and his Mr 31 badness!
;)
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:27,
Reply)
@HCFBGet thee to a dating site and spread the Scottish love.
And agrees about B3ta. It is a dating site in disguise.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:27,
Reply)
BatmanBrilliant! I'm sure the resident tramps will assist.
*exciteds*
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:28,
Reply)
I am standing up forsensitive, caring, New Men such as myself. The most important thing in a relationship? A nice pair of knockers. Mine or hers, doesn't matter.
*equal opportunises*
(
Kroney, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:29,
Reply)
@EthelredWell I'm fine and dandy thank you for asking.
My hair is growing longer by the minute and I'm hitting the gym a few times a week and in a few months I will be all of the hotness that I envisage myself to become.
I'll have to fend men off with a big stick.
*adds big stick to shopping list*
@Wanderlust... my lips are sealed.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:31,
Reply)
Hey BGBShall do, any sites worth checking out in particular?
See you next Monday then clendrix. I'll be the one dressed up in a fetching green jacket with big leather boots and shouting loudly in a Yorkshire accent.
Devil_in_Tights if you're about you have mail!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)
@StigI can't put my finger on it
Pfft.
*sniggers*
@HCFB - Cheers. Had a really good time apart from the obvious. Lots of music, craic was great and there were a couple of wee drinks involved too. It's a bleak and remote bugger of a place*, mind, but I didn't go there for the scenery.
*Apologies to Shetlanders and others who like that sort of thing.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:32,
Reply)
Oooh BGBYou has a secret!
I think I might make a quiche for lunch. It's a lot of effort but then I can nom it all afternoon.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)
@ No3l & EthelredI think this is even worse somehow!
C:\Documents and Settings\Bill>tracert bean
Tracing route to bean.local [10.0.0.17]
over a maximum of 30 hops:
1 5 ms 1 ms <1 ms enemygate.local [10.0.0.2]
2 12 ms 7 ms 6 ms petra.local [10.0.0.14]
3 6 ms 1 ms 3 ms bean.local [10.0.0.17]
Trace complete.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)
k2It was No3l that said that ^^
Oh it is a secret BGB? *stops handing out the flyers*
BILLLLL! *hugs* You big geek
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:38,
Reply)
@HCFBI have never been on any internet dating sites so I can't offer any advice but I would go on them if I was looking.
I do have a secret but it's the worst kept secret on B3ta. I'm sure someone on here will blurt if you ask around, but keep it to yourself.
@Stig - *blushes* If I was shorter and 10 years younger I'd be on you like a rash.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:38,
Reply)
@ BillYou have too much time!
*looks sheepish*
TGB
Stop being mean!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)
Ahaha bean has an IP address!That should make it easier to locate.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:41,
Reply)
What is the capital of Iceland?About £3.50....
@ 31
We could do a French style DDoS attack!
It'd retreat too quick though.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:41, Reply)
When was I being mean!?You are just convinced I am mean all the time and I'm not *cries*
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:41,
Reply)
Morning again*reads thread*
Sharpe? Bean?
I wish I looked as ruggedly good looking as that, instead of just looking rugged!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)
@ BGBI too, have a really badly kept secret.
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:47,
Reply)
BK we allknow your secret!
It's ok if you like wearing tights under your jeans
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:48,
Reply)
Morning,Its cold out there on my own, can I come in?
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:49,
Reply)
Oh oh oh BKWhat's your secret?
In you come scrape. We have a warm fire and blankets. It's fucking freezing in Aberdeen :(
EDIT Morning Dok...are you well?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:50, Reply)
SecretsA man comes running up to a priest in the street and blurts out, "Father, I shagged the whole of the college cheerleading team last night".
The priest replies, "Oh, my son, this is not the manner in which to confess your sins. Come into the church with me and we can do it properly in the presence of the Lord".
"Oh, no", says the man. "I'm not Catholic - I'm telling everybody!"
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:50,
Reply)
*glassy eyed look*Welcome Scarpe. Come join us. Joiiiin usssss
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:52,
Reply)
TGBAre we now part of cult? If so we should all get matching robes and hats. I like hats. I word a big red hat to work this morning with matching mittens.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
@BatmanHi there I'm all kinds of good this chilly day, thanks for that address. Now to find some spare money!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
EthelThat would probably have worked better in a gaz.
Now everyone knows, dammit!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
Morning Miss crenneHow's life?
Everybody has secrets, I wish I had a secret :(
Where can I get one? Kaythnxbai.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)
I picture this placeLike a slightly friendlier version of 'The Slaughtered Lamb' for some reason.
Or maybe 'The House Of Mystery'
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:57,
Reply)
BatmanPlease no hats! I have chubby little cheeks and cannot wear any type of headwear without looking like a baby in a bonnet or a cabbage patch kid.
Can I just have a jazzy scarf instead?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Yes cultsWe shall have a meeting and discuss attire later.
I like the idea of big robes and pointy hats... Probably should stay away from white if we are going down that route...
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:58,
Reply)
Morning ancrenneJust some talk of bean flicking and Sharpe.
Dok no problem. Let me know if I can be of any more help, if you do decide to come to Glasgow then I should be able to knock some money off what you see there.
EDIT Lucy, okay just for you you can have a special scarf.
TGB Can this meeting happen in the pub? I haven't had a drink in over a week and I'm dying for a pint. I'm thinking multi-colour robes though so we can sing/chant any dream will do.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
ancrenne!*snuggles*
@Batman Do you really have a matching hat and mittens? Is it wrong that the thought of you wearing them made my heart feel all puffy?
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:59,
Reply)
ScarpeYes, slightly friendlier...
I think we should be treated to a pic of Batman in his hat and mittens.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:59,
Reply)
HatsYes, my fifty year old brother just bought a new hat, it's an owls head, and looks really cool.
Yes this place is a bit like a friendly version of The Slaughtered Lamb.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:00, Reply)
DokWtf do you mean 'an owl's head'?
Is your brother's head really, really small?
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:01,
Reply)
Welcome scarpeYour womble story made me chuckle :)
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:01,
Reply)
@ No31Aw...blush...
Thanks.
My Dads a legend.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:03,
Reply)
Oh noDon't tell me ancrenne is going to be there on Saturday and I'm going to miss her!
*Sulks*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)
@ LucyWe'll miss you Saturday, cos you're all of the lovely!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:04,
Reply)
DrixyIt's a man sized hat fashioned to look like an owl's head! If I can pinch it I may wear it on Saturday.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:04, Reply)
Oh my god.Saturday - no Lucy, Dok in an owl's head...I'm going to have to get very drunk indeed.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:06,
Reply)
BKAaah thanks.
I am still hoping that something might come up so that I can come. I'd love to see you again and meet all the others.
*shakes fist at empty bank account*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
*excites about hugs*and clendrix is going to be there aswell...I feel a clendrix, wanderlust and ancrenne sandwich coming on!
*yays*
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:07,
Reply)
Despite having been to afternoon tea at the Dorchester on Saturday afternoonI'm sure I will still be able to cram another sandwich in, Lusty!
^Having read what I just wrote, I sure am glad I know where to put commas!
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:08,
Reply)
@ LustyCan I rotate from the side at the sight of this lady sandwich?
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:09,
Reply)
Um..yeah...so I might show my facepossibly.
If, you know, I don't get nervous and drunk beforehand.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:09,
Reply)
Oh noes!Oh ancrenne, I really wanted to but I just can't afford the stupid ol' train ticket to London. It's a double crapper for me as I don't get to see Mr VP either and I didn't see him last week.
:(
Unless I magically get money by the end of the week it's a no go.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
wanderlustYeah I do. They're burgundy colour and the mittens have a string attached to them which goes through the sleeves so I can take them off and they dangle. I would love to say I knitted them but a mate did them for me. :D
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
ScarpeAre you considering joining us on Saturday?
Please do!
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:11,
Reply)
@ EthelYou don't want to hug me while I'm rotating.
It would get messy!
*edit* @ everyone
Is it definitely the Cardinal on Saturday then?
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:13,
Reply)
BKYes, I think so.
Edit: Actually, there's been more conversation. I'll get Spak to confirm the venue so we all know.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:15,
Reply)
Welcome Scarpe!And hullo ancrenne.
Just a quick announcement: DiT's B3ta Hero of the Day is:
HCFB!
*congratulates*
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:16,
Reply)
SaturdayYeah, I am seriously considering it.
I am sure you are all ever so lovely.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:17,
Reply)
I would have hitch-hiked to this bashbut I've got my daughter this weekend and she's lovlier than all of you... just :)
Edit: happy b3taday Mr absent Kaol!
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:22,
Reply)
This replyis brought to you by my new asus eee pc 1000 using linux.
Now I need to get back to learning how to use linux *grumbles*
(
Captain V, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:22,
Reply)
D_i_TAwww shucks *blushes*
Thanks though for that! Do I need to give a speech? Last time I spoke in public I was drunk at a mates wedding and told a story about him licking his pee off a wall for a pint. Bad times.
Happy birthday Kaol.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Harpy Biffday, Kaol!HCFB: Speech! Speech!
Also, I would love attend this weeks bash, but I'm afraid I can't. :(
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:26,
Reply)
Happy Birthday Kaol@ Batman. You make my heart feel all lully. I think we should skip down the road together both wearing our mittens. I have a bobble hat, can I wear that?
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:26,
Reply)
Happy B3tdayTo the curious Kaol.
Hope you looked up Warren Zevon and are enjoying some awesomeness.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:30,
Reply)
Kaol going grey?*chuckles*
I'm old enough to be his father, as he never tires of reminding me, and there's not a grey hair on my head.
Admittedly there are fewer hairs on my head than there used to be but they're all still the original colour.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:30,
Reply)
wanderlustWoohoo I feel lully now! Yes we can skip down the road together, what colour is your bobble hat because maybe we should try to co-ordinate this.
Also my friend brought me back a hat made from Llama wool from Peru (he claims it is but I don't actually know if Llamas have wool). It is the shnizzle and has a bobble and pictures of Llamas and farmers on it.
EDIT K2k6 How old are you and how old is Kaol if you don't mind me asking?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:31, Reply)
BatmanSpeaking of weddings...
Radiant bride, proud family, squaddie groom. Squaddie Best Man. Uh-Oh. Table of squaddie mates in the normal position by the bogs.
All the normal stuff 'best mates for years, served together all over the world, shared everything including dirty birds' (audience coughs nervously) 'of course all this changed when he met his lovely wife X' (audience relaxes) 'and on behalf of the happy couple I have an announcement' (bated breath) 'they'll be changing a few nappies soon' (Awwwwww goes the audience)
'Yep, the muscles in her arse have packed up'.
(Dead Silence except for the table of mates in the back)
Best Man last seen being hit by proud father of bride while the groom sat with his head in his hands and the bride was sobbing in the ladies...
(May have elements of urban myth)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:31, Reply)
Happy Buff-day to Kaol!Let's hope you got many presents of the scary-pointy-sharp variety...
and beer...LOTS of beer
:)
(
Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:33,
Reply)
@HCFBI'm 39. Kaol is 22 as I remember.
I'm definitely not his father though. I checked my old diary...
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:34,
Reply)
Ha you're old enoughto be my dad too! I'm only 20!
Well I must be the youngest one here then. Brilliant.
EDIT Osok I don't care if that's an urban myth, it's rather funny.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:38, Reply)
36 of your Earth Years hereAnd still immature. I'm quite proud of that.
My wife is not, however.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)
28 yearsand careering on with Reckless Abandon!
*abandons, and recklessly too*
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:46,
Reply)
@batmanMy bobble hat is cream and blue with a snowflake pattern. It makes me look cool.
well my mummy says it does
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:47,
Reply)
@ osok*swooshes in*
I got your reference earlier, haven't seen anyone else mention it - BlackAdder 2, episode one.
Do I win anything?
*swooshes back out again and off to work*
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:49,
Reply)
@ OsokThat's superb. Although I may not relate that story to a few of my friends before my wedding next year!
And if we're on the age thing, I'm 28 but will be 30 next xmas. What a week that is going to be!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
wanderlustawesome!I'm sure you look loverly and cool in it, if you like I could get my mate to make some matching mittens for you? She's currently working on a scarf and matching fingerless gloves me.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)
I'm 38in Venus years :p
www.psi.edu/~mac/convert/years.html
Or 8609 earth days old :)
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:51,
Reply)
YesI'm one of the more mature people here (chronologically speaking!). But there are some other oldies too, notably BGB and the Loon. And the average age of us lot seems to be quite a bit higher than /talk and the like.
@Batman - you're just a bairn!
Edit@TGB - I'm just 21 and a half in Martian years. Woo!
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:52,
Reply)
@Batman!I just did a little excited wee there!
That would be ace!
One of my friends should be hopefully making me a new hat with ears on it so I can look like a fluffeh lion! RAHHHHHHH!
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:54,
Reply)
@ TGBBah! 10,295 Earth days
*is old*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:57,
Reply)
K2k6Yeah I know, I get that a lot. Apparently I look older as well, I went on a blind date a few months back and the girl thought I was 29.
Folk on /talk seem to have the mental age of a 4 year old though.
TGB...so you're 22 then? I tried to work it out in my head and now my eyes hurt.
Wanderlust, ARRRGGGHHHH You scared me there :( I want her to make me a big chunky knit cardigan but apparently it's too hard.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:58, Reply)
BatmanIt depends if you worked it out before or after I ninja'd it :p
I am 23 1/2 My birthday is March 20 so you all still have lots of time to decide what pretty things to buy me :D
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:02,
Reply)
Sorry to be the harbinger of bad newsbut this has made me mad uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20081014/tuk-reward-to-find-cat-serial-killer-45dbed5.html
Any suitable punishments for this?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:03, Reply)
I've been toldthat some people think I look older than I am (14400 Earth days).
In fact they thought I was in my 50's.
Christ I don't look that bad!
EDIT Misspiggy, that would make me only 1.3 years old.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)
I don't get whypeople would want to kill living things (excluding weeds - those bastards get everything they deserve!)
I feel guilty accidentally stepping on slugs!
*hunts out pics of Dok to judge how old he looks*
A Martian year is 686.98 Earth days
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:13,
Reply)
oneinthepinkKick the shit out of him. Animal cruelty makes me incredibly angry, more so than anything else really.
TGB I just did it again and I got 23 which made my eyes hurt even more because I got confused, arrgghhhh. What would you like for your birthday? Other than a life time supply of B3ta hugs obviously.
It's my 21st at the end of January so I expect lots of presents and fireworks.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:14, Reply)
London b3tans!Where can I get second hand (or foot) army clothes and boots. Any good places around?
I can't be arsed to post this on the main OT board if I can get some suugestions here.
Miss Piggy - I am very, very old.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:17,
Reply)
clendrixI've used these people a few times for expedition gear on a budget.
My theory is that if it's squaddie proof then it's good enough for me.
www.surplusandadventure.com/shopscr640.html
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:20, Reply)
@ clendrixYou're not old!
Have a cheer-up *flex*
:D
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:20,
Reply)
Stop it, clendrixYou're younger than me!
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:21,
Reply)
Thank you Pinky!Thank you Beekers.
Dok...cheers.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:21,
Reply)
BatmanWhy don't you just type 8609/365 in google and let it work it out for you? Or do you like feeling like you have the smarts :p
I would like a nice bottle of wine for my birthday please, a full bodied red would be nice :) Or someone dressed up like Sharpe!
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:21,
Reply)
I'm approaching 33 earth years oldand I love it. I'm still a big kid and get kicks out of the most immature stuff. And I still like rolling down grassy hills :)
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:22,
Reply)
Ahem!All bow before a proper old person.
*swaggers*
You youngsters don't know your born.
Just had tuna and pasta for dinner courtesy of left-overs from my sister. Nom!
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:24,
Reply)
@DokWill you stalk BGB for a while? I think she needs some attention. ;O)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:28, Reply)
MwahahahaThe crown is mine!
I am the Matriarch! Ok, old biddy to you.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)
I just told the automated woman at Xerox that she was a useless cuntand she put me through to consumables.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:30,
Reply)
@Her DokI know but I take some pride in being one of the oldest on here. It gives me a certain cache I think.
I am old and wise and respected.
@Stig - I crave attention. Look at me, look at me, look at me.
*waves*
*yeah right*
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:30,
Reply)
@ DrixyYou could try on line. Laurence Corner has unfortunately shut down now or I'd have suggested there. I know that there is one in Croydon, but that's a bit far from you.
I used to know a lot of these shops but they seem to have all vanished now.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:30, Reply)
TGBBecause...because...I didn't know you could do that. Smarty pants :p. And I definitely do not have the smarts. Far from it.
I don't drink red wine so I'd end up picking out a shit bottle but I'll dress up as Sharpe. That's my gift to you, woop woop!
Time to find a Sharpe costume.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:31, Reply)
@StigWhat's in it for me?
Except the learing through windows and scaring the crap out of BGB and her friends.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)
YAY!Batsharpe! That will be an awesome present :p
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:36,
Reply)
ClendrixCamden Market is maybe a good bet. Not been there for a couple of years, though.
We have a place in Sheffield known as the 'gay army shop', because the mannequin in the window has a real Village People moustache.
Not much help really.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:36, Reply)
I thoughtyou just said "Yay!Pat Sharpe!". I don't think anyone has shouted that in a long time.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:36, Reply)
@BGBI tried the whole respectable thing, it didn't work and wasted seven years of my life.
So now I'm growing old disgracefully.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:37, Reply)
@misspiggyYeah! that's pretty much what I am. : (
Edit - @oneinthepink - let's not go there about the tache, ok!
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:38,
Reply)
Miss PiggyDidn't think of trying there.
*hates Camden with a passion*
I'll pop over there when I'm in a tolerant mood.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:39,
Reply)
Hooray!I have been turned down for yet another role! hooray!
As you can see, I'm surprisingly chipper about the whole thing! Today I'm in a "grrr, try and get me down, I dare you" mood.
Bring on the recruitment consultants!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:42, Reply)
Damn you BatmanNow I have the funhouse theme in my head again
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:42,
Reply)
@Lucy*hugs and smooches*
They're fools, fools I tell you.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:47,
Reply)
AncrenneStill no luck with that? Stupid visa. It's probably run by recruitment consultants, who are COMPLETELY LACKING IN SOUL.
but heyho, onwards we go!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:47, Reply)
Hey Lucy*hands a large G&T* Sorry about the job, but yay for remaining optimistic :)
Today we have mainly been drooling over Sharpe
i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/costumersguide/reused/sharpe.jpg
Drooltastic!
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:49,
Reply)
I'm afraidSharpe is off bounds for me.
My childhood was spent with my mother drooling over him so it feels a bit wrong to do the same.
I'm sure Mr VP has a man crush on him too. He loves the bloody programme.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:50, Reply)
@TGBFuck's sake, stop posting that!
*feels masculinity draining*
*edit* @ Lucy
Oh cheers, my mum loves him too!
*cries*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:51,
Reply)
Sorry about that TGBJust think of the theme tune to Sharpe. It's awesome.
Actually you know the dude that plays Hagman? The one that sings all the time and did the theme tune? The casting folk found him busking in a tube station and offered him the job. Factoid.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:52, Reply)
BKThat's ok, you and your mum can share men if you like. Its just that Sharpe reminds me of being little and mum being inappropriate.
*shudders*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)
@BGBI accept you're "low maintainence" in term of attention.
but even a cactus needs a little water! ;O)
@Dok
There's absolutely zero in it for you!
You possibly may get a punch in the face from BGB...which is what I may get in a few minutes!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:54, Reply)
@StigI only stalk those who wish to be stalked, and I wouldn't want to presume that about any of the young ladies here. They are all lovely and don't deserve it!
*HUGS* to all the lovely B3ta ladies.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)
@ Lucy*hugs*
Sucks about idiot employers!
I'd emply you in a shot!
If I knew what I wanted to do, had my own business, and the money to employ someone
*is no help*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:02,
Reply)
BKDo you know what? I'd employ me too. I'm a damn hard worker.
But as I said, not letting it get to me!
tra-la-la-la.
In other news, I found my Gameboy today.
I win.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:06, Reply)
So is anybodyup to anything exciting tonight?
I'm going to go home and make Spag Bol as it's all I can afford to eat at the moment and watch double friends, double Scrubs and then cry a little. Excitement.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)
ooh yay hugs*hugs dok*
*pimps story*
b3ta.com/questions/spoiltbrats/post271540
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:08,
Reply)
@ancrenneWhat's up honey?
I must try and get down to see you next year at some point.
Just you, me and a bottle of stolly.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:09,
Reply)
BatmanI am making a quiche OR a cauliflower cheese, then sitting at home waiting for mum to get back at 9.
I might cry a bit too. Or just drink vats and vats of tea.
Oooh, I have jammy dodgers.
I'll drink tea and eat Jammy Dodgers.
nom.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:09, Reply)
@ Miss crenneI don't believe you, everybody has a ticklish spot, you just have to find it!
@TGB I like that, now I see what all the 'your mean' was about yesterday.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)
@ LucyAww, pity I'm not at a pub quiz this evening, I could get you to text me answers again and take your mind off things!
*hugs*
*is cheating bastard*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:12,
Reply)
@LucyYou cannot be the lithe little thing on your profile pic. All you seem to do is eat.
Tonight I shall be going to the gym again, framing a pic of the family dog and then having chips, veggie sausage and green beans for dinner.
Followed by a bottle of red as tomorrow is non-gym day. I shall by crying into my glass of wine and bemoaning my lack of social life.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:12,
Reply)
Hello to you all!Thank you for my wonderful B3ta-Day wishes :D
*prepares speech*
Well, it's certainly been an eventful year.
I've gone from being a humble Health and Safety Officer to a high-flying Graphic Designer, who spends far, far too much of his time on here.
I've progressed from a QOTW lurker to an occasional front-page-poster.
I've seen the creation of the Off Topic Board, and have since been crowned King of it.
More importantly, I've met some fantastic people, and had some great times with them.
I don't need to name names, you know who you are.
So, *raises glass* here's to another, even better, Year Of Kaol.
[applause]
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:13,
Reply)
Can I get a hug dok?Nice story TGB. If everyone is pimping their stories this week then...
b3ta.com/questions/spoiltbrats/post267803
Don't cry Lucy! *hugs*
*offers Jammy dodgers*
EDIT Happy Birthday Kaol. I did get you a present but I ate it.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:13, Reply)
BGBI do eat a lot. Especially at the moment as I'm not working so sit around all day thinking of new things to cook.
And I'm not as slim as I was in those pictures but I refuse to post new ones, I'll start exercising again when I'm motivated.
*raises glass to Kaol*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)
@LucyI bet your still a bobby dazzler : )
@ancrenne - bloody buggers!
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:19,
Reply)
No candle for Kaol.*holds up lighter*
*wants a smoke now*
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:19,
Reply)
Afternoon, KaolNice speech. Even though your being crowned King of OT was self-proclaimed...
Edit. I wonder if the Chinese calendar will include another entry now. All those who have been born in the last 12 months will be born in the year of the Kaol.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:20,
Reply)
Kroney would be king if he were here more often.K2k6, you'll have to do it.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:21,
Reply)
Tis all about the pimpin'Oh Kaol how nice of you to grace us with your presence :p
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:21,
Reply)
Oh...If we're pimping posts...
*cough*
Also, it's not my real Birthday, if anyone got confused. I just don't have a candle next to my username :p
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:21,
Reply)
aah BGBfanks.
One day I will finally meet you and it will be ace.
It would be ace to meet most b3tans I think, yay for aceness.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)
AncrenneEnjoy your smoke...and when you're back, gaz me instructions for assembling those wraps! Yum!
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:25,
Reply)
@KaolOoo! sorry, I forgot.
Happy birthday to the King of B3ta.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:26,
Reply)
*blushes*Thanks BGB, but I'm just an Under-King of B3ta.
Just the Off Topic, starting small this year :p
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:29,
Reply)
@ clendrixI am acting OT king in Kaol's absence, by his decree.
Or I think that's the way of it, at least.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:29,
Reply)
That's exactly right Mr. K.You're like a Scottish Prince Charles :p
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:30,
Reply)
@KaolOnly without the ears. Or the horsey wife.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:32,
Reply)
@ KaolI was thinking more along the lines of a less-Greek Duke of Edinburgh.
Go on K2, say something offensive!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:32,
Reply)
Whaaaat?There's another small, expensive town in Surrey chock full of snobs? I do not believe it. You lie, sir.
(
Kroney, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:34,
Reply)
Offensive, moi?Sorry, but my hormonal balance at the moment is such that I am highly chilled and incapable of offensive thoughts.
Filthy thoughts, yes, but not offensive.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:34,
Reply)
Mr. K...Hormonal balance?
You mean your testes aren't swollen like lemons?
:p
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:37,
Reply)
What's going to happenwith your lady friend from up north anyway K2k6? Did you say she stays far away?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Oh God!I think I just did a little sick.
I always thought kebab meat looked like legs!
EDIT: 'Noon all!
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:41,
Reply)
afternoon allI've finished work for the day.
Well I say that, I'm still going to be doing some while I'm here chatting to you guys.
So, what news?
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:42,
Reply)
Indeed, KaolI deserve a refund from the airline for having no excess baggage on the way back!
And yes, HFCB. She lives quite a bit from here, in the bottom right quarter of England. But Edinburgh to Heathrow's not that expensive.
I honestly don't know what will happen. We'll see how it pans out. And that's all I'm saying for now.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:42,
Reply)
K2k6I think you should move to England to be with her then you can come to London bashes.
Yay!
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:47,
Reply)
Thanks for that DiTI saw "West Midlands" and started to panic, but luckily it's not where I am! Not that I eat kebabs anyway!
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:47,
Reply)
@ K2Best of luck with that; really hope it works out for you.
*is in similar position*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:48,
Reply)
Oh!Edinburgh to Heathrow's not expensive, eh?
But despite hopping on a 'plane down here to empty your lemons, you've never once come down here to visit us at a bash.
Bloody rude.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:48,
Reply)
^What clendrix says.We know where we stand now K2K6.
*harumph*
(
girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:50,
Reply)
*dodges flak*Yes, yes, yes. I know. Point taken.
The problem is my diary. Finding the time for lemon-emptying is actually going to be the big problem, not the cost.
I hardly ever have a free weekend. And I certainly won't now!
Edit - by that, I mean that any free weekends will now be spoken for.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:53,
Reply)
Yeah you should come to a London Bash!Coincide it with seeing your ladyfriend!
The only problem is that it's the train fare from Dundee to Edinburgh that kills you!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:54, Reply)
I fully claim the corruptionOf "lemons".
*grins*
Mr. K...
Hormonal balance?
You mean your testes aren't swollen like lemons?
:p
(Kaol is 1 today!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:37, Delete, Edit, I like this!)
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:58,
Reply)
I've spentthe past hour AGAIN trying to roll cigarettes and can't do it because my hands are cold. I've just bought a rolling tin off ebay. I am shit, woohoo!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
@KaolYou could quote your reference like you see in academic journals, thus:
1 - Kaol, B3ta Off Topic, 40, Post 270989, (2008), "Mr K..."
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:06,
Reply)
Hello again everyoneI'm having a busy day today..
@ HCFB have one of my smokes if you want mate :)
*sends rollie via MSN*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)
afternoon folkshow's it going?
who has been most annoying today?
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:13,
Reply)
I've just putmy mittens on an they're not coming off any time soon. I've still got some rather tasty foriegn Marlboro lights left which will keep me going until my rolling machine arrives.
I have another internet related question, because I'm an idiot, is this mobile broadband malarky any good? If so who should I use? And is 3gb download limit enough for browsing porn sites and b3ta every night?
EDIT Thanks never-right. I've just had a smoke but I'll keep it for later. *cherishes*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:14, Reply)
Ooooh!Foreign Marlboro lights?
I found some of them at work today.
Not in the office, somewhere else.
If they're still there on Friday, they're mine!
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:18,
Reply)
*jumps up and down*me me me me me me Vipros! I was being pedantic in your QOTW post :p
And posting lots of pictures of Sharpe which were having strange effects on BK...
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:21,
Reply)
pedantic in my qotw post?*goes to look*
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:21,
Reply)
Shhh!TGB, stop it!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:22,
Reply)
afternoon allhow are we today?
I need to work proper hours again. this "reading 400 replies" malarkey is eating into my work time. Not that I mind.
Not snogging any of you today. I've got something nasty, and am about as sexeh as a used tissue.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)
HCFB3GB is sufficient if you check emails and a few sites now and again, but if you're into watching youtube or streaming radio/audio regularly it might not be for you.
I've got an unlimited plan on my O2 mobile phone account and use that as a modem for my laptop a lot when away from home.
Don't believe any network who trumpets "7.2Mbp/s" of similar.
Most network carriers only have a 2Mbp/s link to their cell sites, so how you squeeze 7Mb down a 2Mb pipe along with all the other users data/calls, I'll never know ;)
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)
yay, a plague buddy!*is weakly cheerful*
edit@ Ethel - why, would that make it more sexeh or less?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)
KaolThey're actually surprisingly tasty and strongish. Nab them whilst you still can.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)
HLTNot sure, just wanted to see how much info you'd give out.
Ning nings Ancrenne, how the devil are you?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:28, Reply)
Batman...I slipped one into my own packet, so I'll try it later :D
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:30,
Reply)
@ ethelOh. Well, it was a hypothetical used tissue, so I don't suppose it matters.
For the sake of argument we'll say it's one that's been covered in spunk.
Will that do?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)
EthelredSo how does that work then? I have an 02 contract for my mobile can I use that as a modem? I would just get home broadband but I'm moving about over the next few months and can't be arsed paying £50 a time to have my address changed and have BT lines reconnected etc.
Hey HLT! Hope you feel better soon.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)
I believe they can also be referred to asgentleman's poppadoms.
*may read the Profanisaurus too much*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)
That's a charming description.How are your dissolving lungs?
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:34,
Reply)
I've had a chestInfectioney-type-thing too, and smoking was making it worse.
So I switched to menthols for a few days...
*shame*
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:36,
Reply)
Gurglybut not much has escaped in the last couple of hours, so that's all good.
What kind of plague do you have, HLT?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)
Oh you boys!You're all so naughty with your smoking whilst 'ill'.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:37,
Reply)
Hey Tulip*hugs*
And everyone else!
It's a nice quick day today:D
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:38,
Reply)
dunno, it's only just startedbut I feel fairly rotten.
what's up with thee, o wookie?
edit@beekers - *hugs*
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Noons allSomeone has been careless with their germs, I've woken up today feeling all coldy and ill too :(
Also, happy bathday Kaol.
And I always miss out on the good stuff. I want a secret too!
And as for internet dating... *re-pimps*
(
warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:40,
Reply)
Tomorrow I have to teachchildren why smoking is bad. One thing I am going to do is show them that it's a very expensive past-time. The problem is though that I have no idea of the going rate of a packet of fags.
So how much do they cost then, and how many do you smoke in a day?
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:41,
Reply)
Afternoon, HLT*dons mask*
*snogs*
Edit - I mean one of those infection control masks, you filthy lot...
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:41,
Reply)
I'm no invalidbut can I still get a pint and a smoke, Ancrenne?
*attempts to look winsome*
Edit: Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha - lungrot!
Sure it's not just a cough?
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:41,
Reply)
AncrenneI am suitably comfy, thanks for asking.
WGW
That doesn't sound, erm, anything other than potentially homosexual, dear chap.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)
I can't help you Mrs Bin.I buy a little pack of Golden V for about three quid and it lasts me several days.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:45,
Reply)
@ wookieat least you got fun out of yours. I'm just the victim of some ill-mannered oik not bothering to put their hand over their mouth when sneezing. Bastards.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)
@ Mrs LYou're looking at nigh on £6 a pack for Marlboro/ Regal.
I pay about £2.65 for a small pack of baccy.
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:46,
Reply)
Well, maybe just a cough...Mrs Bin - a pack of fags is £5-6 these days, and I end up spending £20-30 a week depending on how much I go out.
My mum is a primary school teacher, and a few years ago she brought a whole class worth of posters home begging me to give up smoking.
She'd have done better going to one adult with some sort of artistic talent.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:46, Reply)
Mrs LThey probably average £5.50 for a pack of 20.
I smoke about 6 a day but I know of people who will happily get through 20 a day and there are the stories of people on 60+!!
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:47,
Reply)
Mrs LivinabinIf I smoked normal ciggies rather than cheap imported rolling tobacco, I'd be looking at something around £6 a packet every 2/3 days.
Thankfully, I have in-laws that go over to Portugal every few weeks who I can tap up for tobaccoy goodness and get 10 50g packets for £35, each of which last me about two weeks. God bless Europe and their lung-corrupting love of ciggies!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)
Thanks BKI have never smoked so all this is a mystery to me.
How many do you get for £6?
How many is standard to smoke in a day?
*edit* all my questions have been answered now thanks.
My mother used to smoke 60 a day back in the 70s. Then she got the keep fit equivalent of God and gave up overnight.
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:48,
Reply)
My Nansmoked over 60 per day and washed it down with up to a litre and half of whisky (no water, no ice).
Go Nan!
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:49,
Reply)
@ Mrs LAnd I probably get through about 20 rollies a say - hitting around 30 at the weekend:(
I cut down from 40 a few years back.
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:50,
Reply)
*looks at wet shirt**runs away before being arrested*
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:51,
Reply)
Fear me!I have just applied to be a contestant on The Krypton Factor!
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:52,
Reply)
Who? My Nan?*feels weird also*
Tightly - that's bloody brilliant!
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:53,
Reply)
I smoke between10 - 15 a day but I think the average is about 10, could be wrong. I buy shitty fags which cost £4.70 or so for 20.
I actually went to the doctor a while ago and he asked if I smoked. I said yeah about 10 a day and he said oh that's fine, when you start smoking 20 you should be worried and sent me on my way. So there you go, smoking 10 or less fags isn't bad for you apparently.
Incidentally that Doctor recently had his license revoked because he helped a few patients kill themselves but anyway.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)
I get throughat least 6 rollies a day. It was a fair few more but work put a rule in saying we were only allowed 1 ciggie break either side of lunch.
If I'm drinking, it is a hell of a lot more. Only when I have had so much to drink that my fingers won't roll properly anymore do I stop!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)
HeheI very much doubt I'll get on it. I just want to do the assault course!
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:58,
Reply)
@ KaolDid you do it in your sleep? Is that how you've only just found out about it?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:58, Reply)
KaolWhy can't you just eat a bowl of Frosties like normal people?
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:58,
Reply)
ooh good luck DiTCan I come and be in the audience as one of your "supporters" if you get on?? *glees*
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:58,
Reply)
The more I drinkThe more I smoke.
Over the three days that I was in Leamington Spa, I got through over 100 cigarettes.
*panics*
But I've only had three so far today.
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:59,
Reply)
How did you manage to stabsomeone and not know?
Were you in a fit of mania? Will you be on the news?
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:01,
Reply)
Good luck DiTyou have to wear your kilt though if you get on.
100 fags in 3 days? Blimey. I'd poo myself if I had that many.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:03, Reply)
A mate of minewas once on the Krypton Factor. He didn't win the round, but came close, as I remember.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:04,
Reply)
Well...I've got a "letter opener".
And it was under some papers on my desk.
The cleaner tidied my desk for some reason this morning, and managed to stab herself on my "letter opener".
While I was in Luton, miles from the scene of the crime.
The moral of this story is "Don't fuck with my desk".
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:06,
Reply)
CigsAs a relatively heavy smoker I smoke between 25 & 30 a day. I currently smoke Benson & Hedges Silver which are on the cheaper end of the scale @ £5.15 per pack of 20
When I started smoking 15 years ago I was averaging about 10 Benson and Hedges Gold per day at £1.27 per pack of 10.
Assuming an average over those 15 years of 20 per day and a average price of £4 per pack over that same time scale I have spent approximately £21,900 on cigarettes over that time.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)
^Take that to class, Mrs Bin! They'll freak out.
Edit: Er, Bill's post, not Kaol's. Very not.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:11,
Reply)
Well...No!
I just like having something to play with at my desk.
Other than b3ta.
And you can't open letters with b3ta.
Or slice oranges.
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:13,
Reply)
BillYou started smoking pretty young then!
Fuck. That's a lot of money too.
(
wanderlust, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:14,
Reply)
I worked out a long time agoI had smoked about a mile of cigarettes :(
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:15,
Reply)
HmmI started at 13, so about 15 years for me too:(
*is dumb*
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:16,
Reply)
I've had an on/offRelationship with smoking.
I think b3ta-bashes are to blame for re-starting my habit.
Well... Of course, I'm ultimately to blame.
But what the hell.
Also, I'm going to a Smoky Hell for giving Rubberduck his first cigarette :|
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:18,
Reply)
I don't find nicotine addictiveand I don't get hangovers.
I like this about me, but no one else does.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:19,
Reply)
Hmm againWhich I have worked out at around 71,175 cigarettes :(
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:19,
Reply)
I've never smokedbut since I bought my first car in 1992, I just did a rough calculation and worked out I've spent about £30k on fuel in the last 16 years.
Which seems like quite a bargain compared with smoking, as I've driven the equivalent of about 13 times round the world for that.
Helluva carbon footprint, mind you.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:20,
Reply)
Yay!I don't get hangovers either!
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:21,
Reply)
My mate Willienever gets hangovers either.
Because he's always drunk.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:22,
Reply)
@ TGBOk, including the filter each cig is 8.2cm, assuming again 20 per day for 15 years we get 109,500 cigs and therefore 897,900km.
To clarify that distance that's 22 times around the earths equator or 2.3 times the average distance from the earth to the moon.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:23, Reply)
Woo!*goes drinking with No3l*
*doesn't compare ill stories next day*
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:23,
Reply)
I get the worst hangoversall the time. Even if I have 3 pints I wake up with a dickie tummy.
Smoking and drinking are my only vices though.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:25, Reply)
Hangovers...I often get away with no hangover after a stupidly heavy session.
But when I do get 'em... How I suffer for my art :(
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:27,
Reply)
That's crazy BillMine has probably gone up a lot by now..
Probably averaging 15 a day as I fluctuate a lot..
Gives me 43 800 cigarettes and 359km
Edit: bill did you work it out in cm and forget to move the decimal point to km?
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:30,
Reply)
I'm currently on holdwith 02 and they're taking fucking ages.
They do have cracking waiting music though.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:32, Reply)
@ TGBSo 359KM:
41 Mount Everests.
11 English Channel widths (at the shortest point).
8.5 marathons.
4.7 Panama Canals.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:33, Reply)
I don't get hangoverswith tequila. And for some reason I can drink more tequila units of alcohol than anything else. Half a bottle - no problem.
But half a bottle of beer? I get drunk, and I get a hangover that starts within half an hour.
Of course that doesn't stop me drinking it... And the advantage is that I am a cheap night out. Unless I drink tequila...
(
warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:34,
Reply)
That almost makes me feel guilty...but part of me thinks I should really get up to 5 panama canals :p
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:37,
Reply)
@TGB/Bill43800 cigarettes x 8.2 cm is only 3.59km.
*lowers tone*
Which is still about 24000 average* erect penises.
*disappears again*
*15cm. Allegedly average, at least.
(
K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:39,
Reply)
TGB...You were shocked at the amount I was smoking when I stayed with you...
*cries*
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:39,
Reply)
I'm too scaredto work out how many miles I've smoked...
I've smoked for 17 years... and for a few of those years I was speeding, which meant chain-smoking day and night without stopping.
I've always smoked rollies though... at least they're shorter...
EDIT: mind you, smoking Camel for the first year probably makes up the distance :(
(
warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:40,
Reply)
Blimey21 years on the fags give or take.
At an average 8-10 per day.
Less about 30% on rollies =
A fuck of a lot of cash.
Someone else can work it out for me, I'll only cry into my whisky.
Oh, and the seegars.
Fucknuts.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:43, Reply)
Oh dear godI've smoked 66186.666666666666666666666666667 erect penises.
:(
(
warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:45,
Reply)
@ clendersDamn it, you got there first!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:46,
Reply)
Yeah Kaolbecause you smoked 100 IN THREE DAYS. And also made some comment about me not being a hardcore smoker when I refused cigarettes! :p
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:47,
Reply)
clendersI do!
You shall get a big bag of hugs and flexes on Saturday!
*edit*
And I do like being called Beekers!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:48,
Reply)
TGBYou're making me sound like some horrible bully :(
We both know the truth, that I was lovely and considerate.
(
Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:51,
Reply)
HeyAre we going for a record today? The big 5-0-0?
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:51,
Reply)
@ DiTHaven't we ever reached 500 before?
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:52,
Reply)
Then Beekers you shall always be!In fact, that's what you are on my phone :)
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:53,
Reply)
Yeah me toodon't think so BK
Did you get a new Icon clendrix or am I being an idiot.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:53, Reply)
@ clendrixHaha, makes me sound like a muppet!
*mee mee mee mee mee mee*
Who wants to be Dr. Bunsen Honeydew?
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:54,
Reply)
@ OsokAt a rough calculation, about £10,500, or £500 a year or £40 a month.
It looks a bit better when you break it down to monthly cost!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)
k2k6 - oopsoops, you're right, broke my spreadsheet formula there. therefore I now have a rather less impressive 8.98KM for me which is:
28 Eiffel Towers.
20 Empire State Buildings.
16 CN Towers.
1.9 Mont Blancs.
and for TGB's 3.59km we get:
34 football pitches.
11 Eiffel Towers.
6.5 CN Towers.
3.3 Table Mountains.
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:55, Reply)
We can but my computer will probably explode.And you were indeed lovely Kaol. Apart from when you were bulling me about smoking
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:56,
Reply)
@ BatmanDo you have a labcoat as well? This is a vey important element to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.
What we need is some balding scientists. Now, where would we find those?
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)
@ BatmanThus is is!
I'm off home. Laters!
(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:58,
Reply)
We're approaching the vinegar strokes!See ya BK!
God, is it only Tuesday evening? This week is really dragging already!
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:00,
Reply)
Can we reach the big500?
Some fucker will come along and start an evening thread before we get this one finished.
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:01,
Reply)
I was tempted to startan evening thread but then realised I would get my bum kicked. Now I'm just typing shit so we can get to 500
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:02, Reply)
I just deleted onefor my pal Kaol to preserve his grammatical prestige.
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:06,
Reply)
Wohooo!This is the happiest day of my week. Wooooo
Can we get an evening thread now?!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:07, Reply)
*doesn't care*I have a labcoat! I like the idea of being Dr Honey
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:08,
Reply)
Right - someone get an evening thread going before my computer dies.OK - there it is.
*abandons ship*
(
thealternativefact, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:08,
Reply)
Since everyone else is carrying onI'll help out as well. Despite being as good as a vat of turgid sparrowfarts half the time, I reckon I can contribute here!
(, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:10, Reply)
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