Note the name of the travel magazine
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7874216.stm
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:05, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck My Life!
www.fmylife.com/

(No, I have not posted any entries in here- I've been too busy laughing at some of them and feeling the pain of others.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:42, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New comic up
Here, hope you enjoy!

I ballsed up the font size, but can't be bothered to rewrite the lot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:13, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OT Pubs
Am I the only one who finds Pubs generally quite boring? I've always thought that long term sitting around drinking, and talking bollocks is a complete waste of time. I could be LEARNING stuff for real. Not having the same, endless, repetitive and pointless conversations that slightly uneducated people seem to have whilst imbibing large quantities of liquid that just makes me want to fall down and/or piss a lot.

Dont get me wrong, i like a night out and a few beers, but when people get pissed and LOUD its just fucking irritating. I actually find groups of pissed people rather frightening sometimes, they're unpredictable.

And yes I know I'm quite boring. But whenever someone says do you want to come to the pub tonight, unless I can combine it with a specific purpose like watching a decent match, (and therefore have an 'out' after a couple of hours) or a meal, or a nice read of the paper then I couldnt think of anything more boring.

Also, I find that everyone turning into alcy's is quite a bad thing in general and the state of drinking in this country is quite shocking. Despite what "the man in the pub says", the British cannot hold their drink. We're the worst in the world at it.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 11:02, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*lusty impression*
It's Fucking Friday, you fuckers!

Come on in and waste the day away in here, we can't be doing any work on a Friday.

Today's Home Sweet Home thread is sponsored by Mario.


(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 8:57, 268 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

fucksticks
Missed out on 'school days'. Worked late, and lost track of time. Cackers has attended over 40 schools. Perhaps it's best I didn't try to share. Would not have the time for a proper edit. Oh well, hoping everyone has had/is having a good night Stay tuned for bash update: Sat. 21 Feb, London. Feel free to bring Rorshach (sp?) and Myers-Briggs tests, to challenge my sanity!
( cackers, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 0:30, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

A Hypothetical Question
Can you, every Saturday night and most Fridays take the same girl home and (ahem both parties willing) repeatedly have sex over a period of a number of months. And hug quite a lot post-coitus. When the sex is so frequent that her friends actually probably think you're an item can you go and end it all rather promptly.

There have been no discussions of "couple" or "girlfriend" or even "fuck-buddies". Gawd I sound like a teenage girl.

Is it within my rights just to stop everything now?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 22:12, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There's been too much discord on B3ta today and it's messing up my karmic flow.
*sings*


Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbayah

Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's praying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's praying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's praying, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's sleeping, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's sleeping, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's sleeping, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya


And...........breathe.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 19:56, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

.

Fred is dead!



Long live Fred!

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 19:29, 140 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just to lower the tone a little...
I've just got back from my afternoon shit and quite frankly I'm a little disturbed and also a little pleased with myself.

You see this turd has had quite a while to ferment as I've been stuck in a meeting, throughout which I could feel it bubbling in my gut, subliming from solid shit to a shity gas.

I thought I was going to have to loosen my belt at one point as the gas build increased.

I finally escaped the tedium of the finance meeting and gratefully plonked myself on the porcelaine throne.

To say I was ready to go would be an understaement and as soon as my arse cheeks made first contact with the seat my dirty tea towl holder failed like a paper sluice gate.

Unfortunatley the fermentation period had created a lot of gas, and this gas evidently was stuck above my brown torpedo as such it fired the mersey trout out like some kind of massive shit loaded paintball gun.

This produced a splash of such epic proportions that it drenched my brown button, sluiced my twig and berries and also managed to spill out under the seat into my trousers.

It took me ten minutes to dry the fuckers.

If I had three wishes right now one of them would be to have that poo again, but from the top of my building with my arse elevated to see if I could have shot the brown ordinance across the road.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 17:42, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 14:27, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, as I was TOLD not to go to work today...
...I've spent the last couple of hours with a few mates, making this beauty:





Unfortunately, we couldn't find any purple food colouring, but if anyone else is in the Peterborough area, its in the playing field just off Crawthorne Road, either until it melts, or someone destroys it! :D
(AQ, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 14:21, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*silence*
I never have stories that are relevant or interesting enough for the QOTW.
I worry that the few vaguely interesting stories I do have would make me identifiable to somebody I know, should they also be a b3tan. I am paranoid.
This is my first post.
I'm bored in work.
I like to read the QOTW witha chin-strokey face so that my colleagues think I'm pondering figures or having a moral dilemma.
I just lurk.
I apologise.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 13:14, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Calling all artists!!!
I've got a 2hour tat session booked for 2nd April. I changed my mind on the design so I'm stuck for ideas now.

I'm sure there are some folks out there with good skills so I'm offering the opportunity to have your design permanently placed on my inner leg.

The outer leg can be be seen in the replies so something to compliment that would be ideal.

Dimensions: 6/7" x 2/3"
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 12:31, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Inspired by Cracked.com...
The word 'hero' is used too often these days. Especially when you compare them against this guy...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill

My favourite bit...

"He finally retired from the army in 1959, with two awards of the Distinguished Service Order, and died in Surrey in 1996. Eccentric until the end, Churchill would toss his briefcase out of the window of the commuter train he rode home every day. Passengers and conductors were shocked because they did not know he was throwing the luggage into his own backyard as the train passed by. It saved him the trouble of carrying it all the way home from the station.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Lux Interior from The Cramps has died
This makes me very sad.

My mother was upset when John Lennon was shot, my father was distressed at Bob Marley's passing.

Which musician's death has affected you most and why?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 12:05, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tech question
(sorry!)

Debian 4.0, running Gnome desktop.

How do I set a Gtkwindow? I receive an error message which reads:
"Gtk-WARNING : screen for Gtkwindow is not set; you must always set a screen for a Gtkwindow before using the window"

The quick search of Linux forums hasn't been too helpful. Anyone know any quick fixes?

EDIT: Never mind, just found another way round it!
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 11:42, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pity for the poor child.
"It's so upsetting, i listened to Green Day - Wake Me Up When September ends for an hour and a half because it was the only song that suited my mood."

Unfortunately the rest of the blog has been deleted but I still smile when I think of the pain this poor chap must have been going through.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 9:52, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pfffftbubbledribble!
Out of curiousity, has anyone ever really spat tea/coffee/coke over their keyboard/screen/desk while reading QOTW?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 8:23, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good moaning
Anyone had any more snow? We've got some forecast later but nothing yet.

Edit: just checked the forecast again and it's sleet and rain. No more snow :(

I'm in work early and I'm bored of it already. How are we all?


(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 8:18, 261 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh for fucks sake
why is it making headline news over here that David Beckham is leaving the Los Angeles Galaxy?
Who cares?????????
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 6:10, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

2 miles from my apartment
is a place called "Punjab Cuisine of India".
They do the BEST fucking curries this side of the Atlantic and I am stuffed full of chicken madras.
Yum!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 4:55, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Couchsurfing.
As some of you know, I'm off to Canada in March. In preperation for this I've signed up to couchsurfing.com a social networking site for backpackers. It seems like a pretty good way to meet people. You can be offered a bed for the night, or just meet up with someone for a drink so they can show you around their home town.

This evening I played host for the first time and met up with a man who's staying in London for a few nights. The plan was to take him for a pint, show him around covent garden then head home (on my own) hoping I'd left him with a happy memory and good impression of London.

All was going well, we'd had a few beers and he asked if I'd like to join him in meeting up with someone else from the site who was drinking in London Bridge. I went, met this other woman (who was lovely by the way) and had a pleasant enough time (honestly if you ever get the chance to go to the art gallery/bar in London Bridge whos name I can't remember but will edit in when I do. You should really go, it's ace) before matey boy asked if I'd like to move on to somewhere else.
I don't have work tomorrow so I was up for a few more drinks with my new found friend.

Then he started asking questions.
Did I have a boyfriend?
Did I prefer British or foreign men?
Do English girls like getting drunk and having sex?
(there is no way I could have answered that question without sounding like some kind of floozy even if the answer is fucking yeah! Who doesn't?!)

Then, he asked one final question. A question that would make me suddenly remember I have an early start tomorrow and had to leave right that minute.
He told me I had beautiful hair, swiftly undid my ponytail and ASKED IF HE COULD SMELL MY HAIRBAND.

Now honestly, I'm no prude. But what kind of fucking weirdo asks to smell a stranger's hairband?

There are some odd people on the internet.


Oh and incase you're wondering. I said no.
( wanderlust, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 0:18, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kaol Black: Episode 3 of "The Beast Of The Chignals"


Previously:


All previous stories are linked in my profile.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 23:54, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's have a night thread..


Watchu got against sleeping?
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 23:38, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm watching the Terry Pratchett documentary on BBC2 at the moment...
and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm bursting into tears every so often. He handles it with so much dignity and quiet humour, but is terrified and bewildered at the same time.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 21:44, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright, one of you needs to own up right now
Rare Goat Hangs Self in Zoo

What torments did you inflict on the poor creature?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 18:51, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)