Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Dear Off Topic'll Fix It,Last night I dreamed of an Off Topic thread where every answer was meat. Meat, MEAT, meaty, meat. I wonder if you could make my dream come true?
Alt Q: What do you think the question might have been?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:00,
172 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
I think we should buy Monty one of thesewww.amazon.com/Child-Saddle-Daddy-Daddle-Toy/dp/B003EWECSC/ref=tag_stp_s2f_edpp_amazon15es
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:01,
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And she can use his hair for reins(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:04,
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What both exits and enters Lampito's arse?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:05,
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Pugs are made of rainbowsWhereas Axolotls are made of monkey spunk
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:06,
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Oh god the last bit of meat I had was the Soho Special sandwich at Bodean's.Amaaaazing.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:06,
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I looked up a recipe for burnt ends when you mentioned them.Looks like a whole lot of hassle but sounds so good.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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You can buy them ready-prepared.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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What is a burnt end?it sounds like the bits of fishfingers or toast that you cut off when you've left them in the grill too long.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:10, Reply)
slow bbq'd bits of animal flesh, basicallyi love bodeans, but mostly for the cheesecake. and i normally don't like cake/puddings in general.
the lime cheesecake and the cookies'n'cream cheesecake are fit to cream yourself over, frankly.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:11,
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Oh my god the cheesecake THE CHEESECAKE(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:11,
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yesthe only better cheesecake in london is the "double bubble chocolate" cheesecake that they do at giraffe.
i really hate baked new york style cheesecakes. light uncooked english ones ftw.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:13,
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Ooo, I like cheesecakeI demand to go the next time I come to London!
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:13, Reply)
It's cheap and lovely.We can go to Soho.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:18,
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alsowe all need to go to my pet greek restaurant.
it requires starvation for 3 days previously to do it justice. the sandwiches in my meeting were predictably shite, what i couldn't do right now to one of his little buckets of hot crispy golden salty fries smothered in crumbled warm melty feta cheese and oregano...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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O_OI'm having a powerful craving for a Woodlands, actually. Masala dosa, I'd say. Mm.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:26,
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funnily enoughi took a client for dinner last week, and she chose the golden hind for fish and chips. it is RIGHT NEXT DOOR to woodlands, which i'd never been to - i exclaimed in surprise, and then found myself trying not to explain "this girl from the internet raves about it..."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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Haha! I'll drag the Charms out one time. Or lunch buffet at Diwana's. Nom.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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I went there and got cheesy nachos.I liked the atmosphere, but I can't be arsed with meat that tastes of 'burnt'. I did eat something on a sandwich, but that was cold from the ex's doggy bag when he fell asleep and I had no food.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:30,
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Yum, but it's the burnt end of a brisket according to Google(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:11,
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It's soft delicious beef brisket.The Soho Special has it mixed in with pulled pork.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:12,
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7.25 for a massive sandwich and fuck loads of chipsor 7.95. Either way, like, what the fuck man.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:15,
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I've stomped your thread Noel but it's a v dull question that I'll delete in a minute.Sorry old boy.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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No worries, this is utter shit as well.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:09,
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as a vegetarianand a human being, i find this thread offensive.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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Maybe if you ate some meat your memory would improve.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:10,
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noelyou really know how to put the OUCH in touche.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:11,
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It's why you love me so.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:12,
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Whaaaaaa, poor little fluffy animals, whaaaaaaaaaahippy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:11,
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i'm an evil high tax paying capitalist corporate soul-sucking pig, rememberi just don't like the sinewy texture or rotten flavour of dead animal in my mouth.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:12,
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if it tastes rotten or the texture is sinewythen it's either shit meat or has been cooked badly.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:13,
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maybe but you overlook the inescapable point: cabbage is also shit(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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you're not one of those stupid vegetarians who doesn't like most vegetables are you?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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i am a vegetarian precisely because i am so fussyand not because i have a single principle. so... what do you think?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:19,
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well, at least you admit itmy ex was exactly the same.
do you eat fish?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:21,
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some fishnot seafood. but i like white fish or salmon.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:22,
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interestingly those are the sorts of fish/seafood I like least.in fact, that wasn't interesting at all
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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when i was a student, my friend and i were having a hangover lunch in mcdonalds after an epic night/morning's clubbingi ordered a filet o'fish and she was surprised. the conversation went thusly:
"oh, do you like fish?"
"yes"
"oh. do you like haddock?"
"yes"
"oh. do you like cod?"
"yes"
"oh. do you like plaice?"
"yes"
"oh! do you like-"
"IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM GOING TO RAM THIS FISHY SANDWICH UP YOUR HOOTER."
"oh."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:26,
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I only put that as i couldn't spell brocolli(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:18,
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I know, probably haven't eaten enough meat today(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:21,
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what has that got to do with it?the texture and taste of meat varies massively, so dismissing it all in one go is ridiculous.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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no it isn'tin the course of being forced to eat meat as a child, i have eaten: roast beef, roast pork, roast lamb, roast chicken, duck, fillet, sirloin and rump steaks, kidneys, liver, chicken breasts and bacon.
it was all fucking rancid. the liver and kidneys were the worst bit though. it must be 20 years later and i can still taste the fucking things...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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You need to swallow, not spit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:20,
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it was all fucking rancid. the liver and kidneys were the worst bit though. it must be 20 years later and
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:21,
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kidneys and liver are quite mingingin their natural form.
some of them anyway. Not goose liver marinated in misery though. mmmmm.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:22,
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goodalthough as a vegetarian you are relegated from the human race and will henceforth be referred to as cattle.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:12,
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I already know enough people anyway(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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Just as wellI personally think you're awesome and don't want to have to introduce you with the words "This is Vipros, he's not as much of a cunt as his online opinions may have led you, personally, to believe"
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)
thanksI'm less opinionated in real life. Rather, I keep the negative ones to myself more. Except on topics where we can all agree. Like U2 being fucking shit.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:20,
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Oh yeah she'd be fine with thatNo way would we have made it 9 years otherwise
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:22, Reply)
9 years ehI take it she isn't interested in marriage, otherwise you would have been dragged down the aisle by now.
rather than forcing other men down the "aisle"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:24,
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6/10 doesn't really workMarks for inventiveness though. She's not particularly marriage-fixated, no. I'm keener on the idea than she is. I've got her sold on the dress, the day, the party and (obviously) getting to choreograph her own wedding dance rather than other peoples', but not on the cost. As I'm sure you can understand.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)
indeed I cangot a meeting to flesh out the details with the venue next week which will be good.
my mrs has found some shoes as well, which is a weight off all our minds.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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I imagine this will be the worst part of it, when I eventually persuade herWaiting for her to choose everything. Glad to hear things are moving ahead, sir
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:40, Reply)
we are lucky in that we have the same opinion on a lot of mattersit has made decorating our house and organising our wedding very much easier.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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possibly relevantand yes, I know it ain't links ...
BTW, apologies if this has been posted before
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:14, Reply)
i never click links because of AA and his bunny-pornbut it would actually have been a very funny place to put "i love horses". i hope you did.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:15,
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I bought sausages from the farmers marketthey were made of meat. Tasty tasty meat: wild boar and cider.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)
Sausages are awesome, I'm really looking forward to Monty's book.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:12,
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I used to work in a food testing labyou really don't want to know what goes in to cheap sausages. I have to buy really expensive ones now - what a shame!
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)
I saw a pretty nasty documentary a few years back about crap sausagesand I only buy from the butcher or ones marked as over 75% meat now.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:18,
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Speaking as an expert, this is the only way to proceed.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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There's a place in Oxfordthat does only sausage and mash. Tasty but very expensive
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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Imagine if you met someone in an online forum, like this one for example,and you found you got on really, really well. You trade photos and there's a physical as well as emotional attraction. You really want this person to be your real-life partner. What's the next logical step?
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Stalking then murder would be my guess.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:14,
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Get drunk and vomit.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:27,
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Meat or rubber?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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Your question should be, where has Blousie been all day.(
girlinthehole, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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Nothing leszza about BGB enjoying a bit of cock, NA.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:28,
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'Crap omnivore' is much better anyway.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:30,
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If you eat meat, yes you doFor the same reason that I don't describe myself as a teetotaller
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)
or straight(I tried not to post this, I really did, but couldn't let it pass)
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:36,
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that's irrelevantthe predictability of it has no bearing. I just can't not call you gay.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:38,
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You do the insults, I'll do the scoring, thank youBut if you want another justification for my marks, I'll revise; 4/10, shit in the first place, then appealed
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:43, Reply)
It's funny because I still think of myself as a vegetarian.(
girlinthehole, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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I prefer to still think of you as a lesbianeven though it's no longer true
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:38, Reply)
Where haven't you been dah-ling!not sure what I mean by that
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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He's implying you are a vagrant.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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I don't even know where Vagrancia is(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:31,
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he was talking to bgbhence the fit of jealous rage that i flew into above. well, i blunted my pencil a bit on my interest calculation, anyway.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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I would never steal an internet husband.I just want you to know that. Also I can't see The Colonel being into a bit of rough : )
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girlinthehole, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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don't be fooled by his nice guy personahe's actually into the sort of depraved shit you would not believe even if you saw it with your own eyes.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:45,
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oh god yeahmost of it is illegal in any civilised country, the foul deviant beast.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:52,
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I'm thinking really we should be swapping husbands.You know......just to see.
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girlinthehole, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:56,
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mine is an insatiable panting slavering filthy beastand yours likes to fuck insatiable panting slavering filthy beasts.
i have a better plan. why don't we just put the two of them in a room together and we'll go and have our nails done and get pissed?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:01,
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I hope it's compound interestthat's my favourite kind.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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erit might be. it is 5% above base from the december quarter day to date.
what's that? (apart from about £180 which is even not worth my time to calculate, but there you go)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:39,
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59 days worth of interest at 5.5%pahow much is outstanding (or is that need-to-know?)
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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£337,643.21per quarter, and the whole quarter fell due on 25 dec.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:44,
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Ah, another 6 days (I was taking it from 31st Dec)£337,643.21 x 5.5% x 65/365 days = £3307.05
Am I doing it right?
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:47,
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if you're doing it wrong, i don't want to do it rightby which i mean, yes, our calculations coincide exactly. hoorah.
however, google tells me it's not actually compound interest after all that...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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Quite rightUnless the outstanding amount contained previous interest accrued
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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nope, it is one quarter's rentthank you darling
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:00,
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Just doing my job m'amor skiving off my job depending on your point of view...
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:01,
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what about your boss?which would be his point of view?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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err...*gets on with work*
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:05,
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It takes me four and a half days to earn £180.I am aware how pitiful that is.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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if i got to keep the £180 it would be worth iti just get to put it in a stat demand.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:45,
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You earn 10k per annum at a very rough guessand I am taking 5 pounds of it ta very much.
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Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:55,
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I'm glad i'm not the only one who did a quick calculation(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:00,
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THANKS TO THOSE HELPFUL SOULS WHO ANSWERED MY 'LEADS' QUESTION**calm down Jeff it was data leads
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:28,
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It was the least I could do(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:30,
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it was the rest of the world that lost out(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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*high fives*I have my cable, £12 it was.
If I'm not babysitting tonight I'mma test that suckah out.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:59,
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I can't wait to find out how you got onI'll gaz you my phone number so you can tell me directly.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:07,
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It's OK, no need.Watch the ads in the middle of the News at Ten tonight: I'll make an announcement.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:10,
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Meat is deliciousLast large amount of meat I had was Bodeans actually. I think
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:38,
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There is a crow outside my window and it WILL NOT SHUT UP(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:59,
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Oh I will. And bugger it senseless.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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Lab's shouting for a bit of the old 'Level 42'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:03,
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Careful or he'll be there until September ends(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:05,
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Like "Shut Up"? I should be so lucky.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:06,
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I thought it was just called "I should be so lucky"(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:06,
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That's in my sodding head you oik(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:10,
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There's no point raven on about it...(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:03,
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Oh dear, don't get me started.You'd better rook out.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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shut up or I'll murder the pair of you(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:06,
Reply)
I bet you were choughed with that one.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:09,
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Cor(vus) blimey, I will(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:08,
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Cor-one you would come up with that.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:11,
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I shouldn't carrion like this(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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Listen out for the distinctive mating call of the black bird"Stick it in me arse Leroy!"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
'Leroy'?Old-skool racism there.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:09,
Reply)
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