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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Other people's relationships are boringWould you rather be a man with tits or a girl with a dick?
ALT: Would you rather we invaded Libya or took back Scotland?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:10,
173 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
that's a hard questionprobably girl with a dick
invade Libya. Why would we want Scotland back?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:12,
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We could go one step further.With the money from the oil we'll 'claim' in Lybia, we could rebuild Hadrian's Wall.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:14,
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Well the probalem with Scotland is that it's full of ScotsOnce we've cleansed it, it would be rather nice.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:14,
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DistilleriesEdit: Actually, on that note, if the Scots really want independence, we can give them a chance to cut loose and survive on their own (*smirks*) if, in return, they hand the Isle of Islay over to us.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)
I'd rather be a girl with neither.Lets invade Lybia, we have soldiers already in that area looking for a scrap.
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girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:13,
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Yup!I could live with that. In fact some girls already do.
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girlinthehole, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:16,
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chicks with dicks and chaps with baps?the only sensible answer is suicide
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:19,
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don't be so closed minded(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:27,
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Or we could invade Lybia and then totally change it to the proper spelling.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:21,
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Thank you!I was wondering why it looked wrong, but figured it was just because it's very close to my username.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:26,
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fetch Dutch Schteve!(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:27,
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No way I can take Dutch SchteveMonty took years of training. Admittedly he did that before knowing about Dutch Schteve's existence...
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:30,
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Lost your wedding ring up there again?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:38,
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hahaha!I was going to reply to Amberl but I've been trumped by this one
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:42,
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OKI am confused you are upset by trump when others are shoving a grandfather clock up grandfather time's anus
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:46,
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:42,
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:43,
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:44,
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:45,
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:45,
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:45,
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I'd rather be a man with a dick. Ah well, can't have everything I suppose.
*cries in a slightly high, warbling, camp way*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:28,
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and I claim my found penis?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:30,
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you are doing some good work at the momentkeep it up
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:33,
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What's the difference?
Alt: Scotland, before the rugby this weekend.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Surely the rugby should provide us with great amusement?Isn't that the only purpose Scotland as a sporting nation serve?
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Ha' ye never heard of curling?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:41,
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We call it throwing stonesThat is an ASBO, not a sport
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:42,
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Yeah But then they go and play well like they did in 1990. I still haven't forgiven them for that.
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That was incredibly inconsiderateIt was OUR Grand Slam. Everyone knew it.
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Fucking right!!We had a great side and even though they had won three games they were average at best.
David Sole - I'll never watch Starsky & Hutch again.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:48, Reply)
You'd think that after 21 years of continually battering them we'd have got over it But you'd be wrong
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)
I have a real appreciation of why sovereign nations bear gudges for hundreds of years.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)
This is exactly why sport has replaced war as the main form of international bragging rights claimageSlightly less bloodshed
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I'm always entertained by the Scotch (on purpose) hating the EnglishStupid fucking McRainycountry
I actually love Scotland
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:02,
Reply)
There's this suggestion that when it comes to sport, the Scottish hate the Englishwhilst the English are spectacularly unbothered by the whole "rivalry", considering it beneath them.
This is absolute bollocks.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:06, Reply)
I hear that the French are unaware that we hate them.I think it comes down to how much of a threat they are. Clearly the Welsh hate us, but we couldn't give a shit about them, which only goes to fuel their ire.
As a species, they are the worst losers and winners I have ever come across. (I should point out I have only ever "come across" one of them, and she was a girl. With massive breasts)
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:31,
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Alt: Libya, definitelyI cannot see any potential problems arising from large scale military intervention in the Middle East.
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:33,
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If we do not learn from the lessons of history we are doomed to repeat themUnfortunately the world's military leaders seem to regard this as an instruction rather than a warning
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Sensible answer is too sensibleDon't break the internet again - I warned you yesterday
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:45,
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Fuck me you're on good form todayPlease go straight to Nottingham and advise the following people on how to score with such frequency; Robert Earnshaw, Marcus Tudgay, David McGoldrick, Nathan Tyson, Kris Boyd
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:52, Reply)
Is this a football joke?Fucking brentford fucking FC were playing at home last night with theirn knuckle dragging cretinous supporters clogging up the roads.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:54,
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hehehe!Rob Earnshaw does look like some kind of deformed beaver though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:03,
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He looks like a special needs mongMore so since he decided that scoring 20 goals a season was something he was only prepared to do at OTHER clubs
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Alt: invasion is always the best optionno-one wants Scotland back
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:33,
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thread diving right herejust seen an article about a footballer who has been arrested for tackling a streaker. why would anyone be a streaker? why? why? running around in the cold with all your bits bobbling in front of thousands of strangers, potentially millions if it is on live tv?
WHY?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:47,
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Because willys are silly www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DqrBj3u5dPgM
NSFW
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:49,
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It's a song about willys and bums, think it was newsletter a while back(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:53,
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I'd streak at a football matchDaubed in woad, splattered with blood and wielding an axe in each hand with brutal precision.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:50,
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Don't scratch your knob whilst wielding an axe.That is my top tip for today.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:54,
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Especially if you've been using it to cut chillies(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:56,
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I use a different axe for cutting chilliesIt's smaller for accuracy and grace, and balanced for throwing into the face of the first Wag that shrieks "Do you know who the fuck I am?!"
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:58,
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Ooh, can I borrow it?I've got a colleague who has done just about everything short of saying "Don't you know who I am?"
I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but I find him kind of grating.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Get them a name tag or one of those things you put on your desk(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:03,
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Or Crystal MethAt least no one would try and bum you, as there are NO gay footballers
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 10:58,
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Nope. Absolutely none. Not since Justin Fashanu died.Of bumdering.
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Is this to say his death opened up an enormous black hole which dragged all the other bumders into it?(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Serious answer; Justin Fashanu endured an horrific time after being the first openly gay footballer and this experience, in the mid-80's, has deterred any other gay professional footballers from being honest about it publicly, no matter how bloody obvious it may be *cough*John O'Shea*cough*
Audience-appropriate answer; yes
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:04, Reply)
I was not aware of any Irish Man Utd gay playersWhere does this info come from? Gaz please!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:05,
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Well look at himYes, that's it. There were rumours linking him with Will Young a while ago, and also the suggestion that he was singled out because his surname rhymes with "O'Gay", but my Gaydar is generally highly accurate. Dean Ashton, he's another one, not that he's exactly a professional footballer any more.
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He did look a bit camp, I'll give you that(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:09,
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When he played at Norwich there were two distinct camps (no pun intended)those who were so enamoured with his footballing ability as to refuse to believe the rumours about him and Jason Shackell in the showers, and the non-homophobic population of Norfolk who were not in the least surprised when said rumours surfaced. All three of us.
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"my Gaydar is generally highly accurate"You do yourself NO FAVOURS, you know that?
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)
You're a man.How big a bag can I take to Brighton without looking like an image-obsessed girlpants?
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:21, Reply)
how long are you going for?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:24,
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Friday - TuesdayI have too many clothes and I'm terribly indecisive.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)
for that many days you can go for a medium-sized baga full on suitcase is too much, but you can away with more than just a rucksack
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:28,
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I'm not sure I can survive with a medium sized bag. Ugh, someone needs to do my packing for me.
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if you bring all your stuff here and pay methen I'll do it
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:32,
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If he lives in Brighton he might be a fashionista himselfHe should understand
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Oh dearWell there's no point packing light and spending the whole time wishing you'd brought this and that.
Aren't you planning to spend most of your time there naked?
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Well, yesBut I have to pack for gigs, going out and generally looking hot too.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Asking him for an itinerary to plan against is probably a bit weirdThe only answer is to pak two outfits for every day, including a couple of base items like jeans and skirts than you can combine with varying different tops, etc
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:46, Reply)
That was my plan.I wish I didn't have this many clothes sometimes. Now I have to decide what to wear tonight. I hate being a girl.
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Do you really think we don't have the same dilemmas?Right, guys?
*tumbleweed*
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)
That was a slightly odd statementI assume this is related to your unwillingness to wear heels at a gig
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:58, Reply)
No, kitten heels can GTFO.Sky-high or nothing. Anyway chick, I'm watching PMQs so I'm going to toddle off for some lunch, I might be back on later. x
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)
He's married thoughIf I was putting money on anyone it would be Gerard Pique
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:14,
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Well Barrymore claims he's bisexualand Elton John is just a cunt
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:23,
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I don't know, the only time I'm aware of him voluntarily going near a womanwas his duet with Kiki Dee.
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Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:23,
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That was a long duet. Must have been horrendous.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:28,
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it was horrendousand I only heard a few minutes of it
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:28,
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He was, as was Mercury I think(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:25,
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I seem to recall that Freddie Mercury may have been married as welledit: nope, just in a long relationship with a woman for a while
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:25,
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That's ringing a bell here.So what have we learned?
Edited for political correctness.
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Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:26,
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EveryoneAlthough English supporters are surprisingly less rooted in the Stone Age than other nationalities, ref. the England-Spain friendly about 5 years ago when Shaun Wright-Phillips endured monkey noises from the crowd whenever he touched the ball
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Salsa can fuck fucking offIt's not a dance, it's just wiggling. It's a pasttime for idiots without the patience or discipline to learn a real dance.
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I have an inappropriate number of left feetso I cannot comment on dancing difficulty, other than my patented drunk dance which resembles falling over
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:07,
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Salsa's easyIf you can move your hips, arms and occasionally feet at the same time, you can do Salsa
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Oh look what I just saw:www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/03/09/swedish-footballer-anton-hysen-comes-out-as-gay/
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:27, Reply)
His brother played for Sunderland - trufax(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:30,
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Scotland will come back n their own when they realise they can't survive without Westminster's money.Assuming we ever stop giving it to them, that is.
We should invade Libya in support of Gadaffi. He's my favourite dictator. He just oozes fabulosity with his purple silk military wear.
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Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:14,
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first actual officelol of the day(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:29,
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I think I'd prefer to have a dick.But then again, having boobs is good times.
*ponders*
*carries on drinking champagne*
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wanderlust, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:30,
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I assumed that if you were a woman with a dickthat you'd also have breasts
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:32,
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This is true.I suppose you can give the woman a penis, but she'll still be void of a brain :(
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wanderlust, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:33,
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yeah, but breasts.(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:33,
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Don't be silly - penises come with a brain attached(Where do you think we keep ours?)
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)
She's got a dick, it used to be Montys, she wears it on a chain around her kneck. He said she shouldn't do it because it'll give her terible back problems carrying that weight around her kneck but it turns out that it's actually holo.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:35,
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*worries if this is a bad thing or a good thing*(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:41,
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You have champagne AND breasts at 11.30?It's going to be a good day, isn't it?
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Yeah, she isn't seeing Monty(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:34,
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I have champagne. breasts, roses and chocolates.I am having a rather jolly morning.
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wanderlust, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:34,
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I shall nurse my hangover with croissants tomorrow morning.(
wanderlust, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:37,
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I'd pick the boobs option too, probably.After having some Michael Jackson-esque alterations, it might be fun self-administering a titwank.
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Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:34,
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Would that not be logistically even more difficult than autofellatio?Plus wouldn't it add to the already horrendous feeling of shame when, if you were to achieve such a feat of self-contortion, you ended up with a faceful of your own foetid ejaculate?
(, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)
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