Amazing how many people are eager to ignore the old maxim about never discussing religion or politics.
What cliches or sayings do you consider to be completely justified - and which are obviously bollocks? Take my meme, for example. Right now I'm getting my Duran on (again), straight after work I've got my Argentine Tango class then home for Glee. And yet you lot think I'm a ridiculously camp bumlord of The Clan Gloryhole. Madness.

Alt Q - most pointless sport. I vote golf. Please try to make your answers slightly more imaginative than "they're all fucking shit", we need REASONS, dammit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:38, 233 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

We're not at the dining table.

( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

I just finished my main scene
I was holding a decommissioned Sten gun that had allegedly been used to kill Germans. I also had a pretty girl serve me tea, while I was sat in a retro dodgems car.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

That sounds like Ollie Reed's wet dream
Except for the lack of booze
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Fencing.
It's like a tickling competition for bee-keepers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Brilliant!
*CLICK*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:42, Reply)

As a former fencer who represented England in open competitions abroad
Fuck you and your stupid hair.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I'd have put Barry down as a 'fence' not you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Nah he just grabs the coats

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Have I asked you before if you know Mario?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I always preferred Luigi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

You haven't
But I don't know anyone called Mario
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Genuine lol at this question!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:43, Reply)

As Kroney said
we're not at the dining table so religion and politics are justified. It would of course be bad manners if we sitting and having a meal together.

Alt: golf is pretty bad. And bowles. Sport for old people. I'd say competitive gynmasts as well, but that's because I'm jealous
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Great Britain's formost female gymnast looks like Voldemort
and I think any man in the world would prefer a woman with actual breasts, so don't be jealous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I wanted to be a gymnast when I was little :)
then I grew quite tall in a short space of time (a growth spurt that was sadly a once off)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Is height an obstacle to gymnastist excellence?
I actually don't know. I assume the breasts are.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Yeah being tall is a hindrance
I was about nine at that point so it was the height more than anything. Still did it occasionally til I was thirteen though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Flexible, eh?
*makes notes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

not anymore!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

*tears up notes*
It's in the bank anyway. What's the word on a 7th series of Supernatural, by the way?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

wikipedia says it is likely!
The ratings have gone up enough to make it viable. I reckon the seventh will be better than the sixth if there is one, now that the events and repercussions of the fifth have been dealt with
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Did the 6th not meet your expectations?
Or was it just inferior to the 5th, which I remember you saying was epic? I'll watch all of them regardless, eventually
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

The 6th was good
but it had a tough act to follow in the 5th, and it had to spend a lot of time clearing up plot points etc. It was still very good, but I reckon the 7th could be even better
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Lovefilm had a bit of a spaz for a while and wouldn't send me the second half of series 2
so I gave up and got stuck into Chuck and Firefly. Am nearly through them so will have another pop soon
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Let me know if you want series three
I have two copies of that (as with seasons 1 and 2)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

I'm trying to think of an excited noise to make that won't make me sound like a gay or a mong
Thank you, I will
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:01, Reply)

mong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Football.
The only skill involved seems to be not getting caught cheating on your wife.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Then there are a lot of shit footballers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Ironic
Because by more traditional foorballing criteria I consider Ashley Cole to be one of the best full-backs of the last twenty years, and certainly the second best English player in this position of all time.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

This^
However, he seems to be the premier cunt though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I genuinely feel that he should have his penis repossessed
as he is clearly too stupid to know how best to use it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

True
Mine would never leave Cheryl's anus
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

musky.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:09, Reply)

And who exactly was the best ever English left back?
I'm struggling here. Kenny Sansom? Lol.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

He is gonna say Pearce, I'd wager
Forest fan innit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Of course it's Stuart Pearce
Best full-back not called Maldini ever to play the game
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

He soured himself playing for "them"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

The years after Psycho left Forest have been stricken from history
It's a Well-Known Fact that he retired in sorrow after relegation
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Stuart Pearce?
You're having giraffe mate. I'm a better left back than that nutcase.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

No you aren't
The suggestion that Stuart Pearce was not a brilliant left-back on grounds of excess aggression is akin to saying Pele twatted about too much to be considered a great goalscorer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I'm a fooking brilliant left back, I'll have you know.
For me a full back needs to be good going forward, as well as being good defensively, and Psycho doesn't fit the bill. Sorry.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:12, Reply)

You're judging him by today's standards
The popularisation of the attacking full-back is a relatively modern notion, I don't think that any manager Psycho ever played for would have wanted him to go bombing down the wing any more than they would a centre-back, given that he was the best tackler in any defence he played for. That said, in 1991/2 he did score 17 goals for Forest in all competitions, only 1 of them from the penalty spot, so he obviously wasn't too deficient in attack.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Rather than reading the background to this discussion,
I'm just going to suggest that "Psycho" is more of a "watch your back...and your drink, if you know what's good for you."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

And how many of the rest were free kicks?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:44, Reply)

What kind of arch-geek do you take me for?
I would, however argue that a free-kick threat as potent as the one he presented was more useful than the occasional left-wing overlap
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:53, Reply)

But my point is that he was just a clogger, with not a great deal of skill
This would not make him the best English left back of all time IMHO.

If the free kicks he scored had some finesse about them rather than hoofing them in after a huge run-up, then fair enough. But they didn't.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Completely justified
It costs nothing to be nice. Saying please and thank you should happen without any thought. I refuse to give my daughter any sweets, pop, crisps, etc until she asks and says please and thank you. Hopefully this will get it into her mind
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I hope you reciprocate when she does the same for you?
Lead by example etc
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I do indeed
We run a polite ship in the sportscow house
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

You can get caught out by that one:
'would you take me to Disneyland, please' etc

My daughter wanted 'chocolate, please Daddy' for breakfast last weekend...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Chocolate is an acceptable weekend breakfast!
I get "Daddy, can I have chocolate toast please?" for Nutella
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Manners maketh the man.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

She is currently learning
I would like is nicer than I want.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

'Want' was as bad as swearing when I was growing up.
along with "What?" and dirty nails.
Sometimes she'd let me say "Ta" instead of "Thanks" but she made me ask first, which ruined the fun a bit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:58, Reply)

People really aren't saying please and thank you these days.
It makes me really disproportionately angry and murderous.
"Can I get a Fosters?"
NO YOU TWAT, I CAN GET A FOSTERS BECAUSE I'M BEHIND THE BAR. YOU MAY HAVE A FOSTERS WHEN I SERVE IT TO YOU, BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY PLEASE! SCROTE!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

*pedantic barmaid high fives*

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I've actually said "No you may not, but I could get it for you if you ask me."

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Tony Bliar was a twat as he was a Catholic and a labour - take that!
Worst sport - Football, I can't even be bothered to list everything that is wrong with football.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Good
On behalf of the football-loving denizens of B3ta, I can comfortably say that we are all thoroughly fed up of hearing it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Amen
The folks on here who don't like football have either a) never played it in their life or b) tried to play it and tripped over their own feet.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

I'm a b) and I still love it
It is quite amusing to see some of those who typically launch into football and its professionals defending rugby stereotypes below.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I know, it's crazy.
The thing I dislike most about rugby people is that they seem to think that liking/playing rugby somehow makes them superior to everyone else.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Agreed
Any sport which the Americans can modify and improve is a poor sport indeed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Alt: anything that isn't motorsports.
At least I can appreciate the engineering involved in building the vehicles. The rest's just improbably styled hair running around a field attached to nancies.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

You're lucky, my meme is that monty thinks I'm some sort of retarded tramp

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Memes are when it isn't true though?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

yey! i was worried for a while then!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I'm not sure about the veracity of that statement
You need to prove Chompy's not a rapist to be certain of this. Best of luck.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I don't know, my brain hurts.
alt: curling? is that what it's called?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Ice brushing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

My GF competes internationally at 'marbles on ice'

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

You're a woman?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Does that put you off me?
Can I have a score for that please? Ta.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Eh, 5/10
Bit obvious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Hey, I'm on the scoreboard.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)

I've actually tried it a few times and I can confirm
that it's an awful lot trickier than it looks.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Isn't that what that large German lady does on my glass coffee table?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

ahahahahahahha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Kettle-sliding

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Cleaning on ice.
*Puts money on the Polish to piss-it at the next winter olympics*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:12, Reply)

They do seem to be taking a very arse-about-face approach to it, what with all the frantic scrubbing they do with those brooms
I would have thought it easier to just use them to push that big kettle into place, but there we go...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not? Does that count?
(I don't necessarily think this, it was the first one that popped into my head. I have beer now.)

Alt: Rugby, because it breeds rugby lads and I HATE RUGBY LADS.

EDIT FOR CLARITY: When I say 'rugby lads', I mean 'lads who play rugby as part of an amateur team'.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

What is it with the whole collar up thing on the rugby shirts?

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

hides the suckies

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Ah! makes sense.

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Or maybe they are just all twats
I dunno
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

I have several hypotheses.
However, going by Occam's Razor, it's because they're massive belming fucktards.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Pop ya collar, homez!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Agreed,
Any sport where you have to tape your ears to your head in case they fall off gets a big thumbs-down from me.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I quite like the homo-erotic tones of the sport.
Nice to see large men getting all grabby with each other.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I think the eye gouging is a nice gentle touch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Rugby players are ALWAYS dressing up as women,

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I think that we've come to the crux of the matter here
You're not anti the government, nor anti cuts you're just a bit of a reverse snob.

FYI - You'll find many, many rugby players who have never been near a public school or anything of the ilk in their lives.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

It's nothing to do with public school
I work down the road from a rugby club, I work with lads who play rugby. Their sole aims in life are to demean women, beat each other up and trick each other into ingesting body fluids.

Fucking lovely of you to assume that I wasn't speaking from experience, by the way. I've been punched by enough of the thick bastards when splitting up fights to be justified in hating them, I think.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

.. which is approxiately 1047% better
than demeaning women and beating other people up, which is the preserve of a fair proportion of the football watching community.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

One sample of 15, does not show a trend for the entire rugby playing/watching population
this is like saying all footballers are rapists*

*which they are
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Loads of the fuckers are Welsh, FFS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:01, Reply)

If you've ever attended university or worked in a pub
you will have a negative image of rugby lads.
I have three cousins, all of whom are rugby players (one for a professional team) and they're gentlemen, but the mention of rugby players on a night out or a pub shift, or a trip to the students' union still makes me shudder. Just in case.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I went to a Welsh university that had a strong English contingent.
The last year I was there, England beat Wales quite significantly during the then 5 Nations.

People got thrown through windows Wild West style. There's quite a lot more blood when it's actual plate glass.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

They're horriffic boors.
Ghastly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

I'll take rugby lads over football hooligans any day of the fucking week.
At least rugby lads are essentially harmless.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

In my exprience, with a few pints down them, they act the same.
Actually no, I've seen more violence related to football, and more pissing on pub tables related to rugby.
So they're all capable of cuntery - just different types.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Well, my experience differs, but that's fair enough
but I would suggest that in general, rugby fans tend to keep their cuntery between themselves (and, granted, some unfortunate bar staff, but that's a "pissed arsehole" thing that's hardly limited to rugby fans) whereas football cuntery encompasses anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same postcode.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Yeah, the rugby lads smashing pint glasses all over the campus on Friday were keeping it to themselves
and their t-shirts saying "smashing pussies" were keeping it to themselves.
Why you think they're any different from football wankers is bizarre. Manners are manners. bar staff deserve not to be wading in piss or blood just as much as some granny getting her shopping.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Short answer
hang around twickenham after an international, 80,000 people all getting on and making their way home.

Hang around Fulham Broadway after a Chelsea game and you better get ready for a whole world of shit, and there are half as many of them.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Short answer
You haven't seen what I've seen and I haven't seen what you've seen.
But I feel affinity with neither rugby fellas or football fellas (and maybe we're getting confused over spectators and participants as well) but I'm judging objectively.
They are all tits when they're in a group and pissed up.
Or maybe you think pissing all over a pub table is mere japery, but punching your mate in the face is a step beyond.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

no, they are all cuntish behaviour
but in a list of "most cuntish" pissing on a table or punching your mate are all well, well below punching a random member of the public. That was the disction I was getting at.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Fair enough, I suppose i was aiming more at supporters
Rugby players, particularly students can be pretty ferral when they're drunk that is very true.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

well, the problem you've got there is that they are students and rugby players
first and foremost. And therefore have a mental age of 3. Most rugby players do not behave like that in public.

And they are different from football fans because, in general, they do not start fights with either opposition fans or members of the public because rugby doesn't have the ingrained life or death tribal alliances that football has.

And I didn't say it wasn't bad manners, just that drunken behaviour of that sort is hardly the preserve of rubgy players. I was merely pointing out that a load of drunken cunts vomiting everywhere is a fuck sight less of a problem for me than a load of psychotic cunts punching and stabbing random members of the public because "they look like they support X team"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Football fans, in general, don't do that either. And I'm sure all rugby players dont piss all over the pub.
But I don't think any one group is 'better' behaved.
In my experience, I have witnessed both groups being wankers. I live somewhere that has two football teams, and it's not divided geographically or by religion, so that kind of thing doesn't happen where I live, but I know it does elsewhere. I just think anyone's capable of being wankers especially when they're buoyed up by booze and their sport. I wouldn't defend either group, even though the majority are just normal people with a season ticket and a scarf.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I've spent a fair amount of time living in East and South London
and now Edinburgh, and spent plenty of time in South Wales . I can categorically state that football fans do, in general, absolutely do that. All the time. Being caught in the middle of a a few hundred Cardiff and Swansea fans going at it is not an experience that I wish to repeat. Or being anywhere near Millwall. Or being on a train in Southern Germany when 1860 fans stormed it to get at Bayern fans. Or running battles in Rome after a Roma/Lazio game. Or anywhere I've been in Eastern Europe, really.

So, yeah, I agree that I won't condone either but in my experience football generates a whole heap higher level of cunt. I know your experince differs of course, I'm just saying why my feelings about it are so strong.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:42, Reply)

The footy lads that come in my pub are lovely.
One or two pints after the match, then it's home. Rugby lads come in after a match and 10 hours later you're cleaning up vomit and trying to stop them 'grabbing' you.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

You could stay at home and "roll around on the floor" instead

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Right, I obviously arrived too late for this meme and now I'm confused
Please explain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

wait a moment
here you go b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1128171
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

love it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

it did make me laugh
more for the bizarre image than anything else
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I still don't understand what hte actual joke is supposed to be
but then I have been a bit of a mental midget today.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I just liked the idea of someone rolling around on the floor
like an itchy dog
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I stand corrected
That is HILARIOUS. Exactly the standard one expects from Rory
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

MY ALARM SOUNDED

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

The putdown alarm

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

You got it sister

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Nonsense
I said it was hilarious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

If it makes you feel better
it made me laugh. Or do you need other validation?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

No, I've had my internet attention for the day
Beggars can't be choosers
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Riiiiiiight...
Where's Chompy when you need him? For once I actually require an explanation as to why this is funny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

THATS TH....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I'm amazed you've made it this far without anyone mentioning it
Ultimate Frisbee, surely? Any sport that a dog is demonstrably better at than a human isn't a sport at all.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

You can add ball licking to this list

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

lamp-post pissing

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Olympic Carpet Arse-wiping

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Tracking the negro used to be quite popular.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Still is round Shadwell way

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Do you have swamps?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Yessirs we do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I'll bring my bloodhound and whip and we can go coon huntin.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Alt:
Any sport where the fans don't congregate in pubs beforehand, get pissed and then shout obscenities at each other over the segregation/line of stewards instead of watching the game.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Yeah, fucking chess supporters.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Ha.
If I could tell you the amount of times I've seen it kick right off at badminton.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

The horse trials?
They was all guilty I tells ya.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Jeff?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Don't mind if I do, thanks.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Well I mind.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Copyright

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:38, Reply)

The blunt pencil tournament
completely pointless
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:09, Reply)

People, we have another B3tan suffering with Jeffism.

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I don't know what you're laughting at.
Rswipe won't be happy you've infected him.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

She'll get over it by sending me a huge invoice for his rehab.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

she isn't
but it isn't really jeff's fault. i blame his parents.

bloody online in-laws.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Thanks.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Synchronised swimming
This isn't even a sport, so how it gets into the Olympics is anyone's guess.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

It's just gymnastics under water.

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

+ with fake rictus smiles

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

If one of them drowns, do the rest have to drown as well?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Its in the rules
so lets hope so
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

"2/10 - nice routine, but you failed to all bob and up-and-down belly-up on the surface in time with each other."

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Vomit was out of sync
DISQUALIFICATION
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Dare i say - ballroom dancing/ice skating

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

You may
Dancing is not a sport. The measure of who is better than who is opinions and not specifics.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

As is diving
As is gymnastics (of all types)
As is snowboarding
And there must be others I can't be bothered to think of
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

True

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Oh
I'm not used to a B3tan conceding a point. I was all geared up for an argument
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

I disagree

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

No you fucking don't

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I fucking do, right?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Fucking outside you cunt

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

*steps outside*
*Realises the sun is shining and runs away giggling like a mong on nitrous*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

That's right! You run, you fucking happy person!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Not a sport?
Try steppin' up on the street and bustin' some moves before some homey starts dissin' your fly-girl AND THEN tell me it's not a sport!

You just got served!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I'm sorry
I only speak English
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Nonsense
You're from Sunderland, surely English is your second language
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Behind Mackem

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

You are Moe Syzlak
AICMFP
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Defend yourself with funk

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UQebN-g-Rg
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

That link made me stumble across one of my favorite Simpsons moments ever.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpoYYC7lut8&feature=related
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

BEST ONE EVAR!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmNObROcBOo&feature=related
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I take your best one EVAR! And I raise you this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvph0eSb-Hg
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:44, Reply)

It certainly is a good one
but Sideshow Bob and the rakes actually had me in tears the first time I saw it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I'm with Jeff on this
The level of inspiration in the deer clip is unbelievable
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Sweet

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

You're half right
Although, in fairness, my staggering inability to skate five metres without falling on my arse makes me respect anyone who ice skates at international standard. It is, nonetheless, so gay that even I can point and laugh.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

In your pink dancing shoes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Don't be so bloody daft
As if I could co-ordinate pink shoes with Ms Foxtrot's red dress
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:26, Reply)

My humble apologies

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

If we run this half marathon
you're not allowed to wear your "He loves the cock" T-Shirt.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Didn't take you long to trawl my FB pics then eh Al

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I was trying to look at pictures of your sister
but she has them on private settings.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

She got the brains
As much as I love my sister I can recommend some hot friends for you to check out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Ice skating is most certainly gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I like this!
Wonderful imagery
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

All sports are fucking ridiculous.
The only thing more pathetic and undignified than playing them is 'supporting' them. You utter, utter fucking mugs. You are the biggest, most stupid suckers ever.

'Replica shirts'? Fuck off. You look like a spastic, and the fact that you've bought one, you 25-stone retard, displays to the world that you are mentally subnormal. Do you think you look like one of the players, or does wearing lurid polyester with the name of 'your' (belm) club's sponsor make you feel 'cool'? Maybe you have shares in Panasonic or whoever, and thus walking round like a garish advertising board is acceptable. Or maybe you're just a fat, thick alcoholic plumber from Barking with a face like a soiled nappy.

Sports are just silly - I am utterly unimpressed by your ability to run really fast/far/jump really high etc. Well done *claps*

The only game that I consider to be both civilised and entertaining is croquet. I love that shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Croquet is fun
the season is coming up as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

It's excellent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Couple of jugs of Pimms
cushions for the non participants and some sunshine and you have a lovely summer's day, topped only by punting
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Oh boy I love Pimms.
I've only drank it once but it was lush.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Plus, if it has been made properly
A couple of glasses of it and you're well on your way to your 5 a day.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Come up to mine
and have some. Nicest summer drink ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I had it at Chickenladies birthday party year before last.
Delish!

I will be trying to get out and about later in the year so I'll take you up on the offer.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:44, Reply)

you'll be very welcome!
If you can manage to make it in early June, then my exams will be finished and everything
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:46, Reply)

gin and tonic or get the fuck out. Sorry, but this isn't up for debate.
Pimms is for raging Berties that don't like the taste of actual booze.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Pfft
I'm all about the gin and tonics as various b3tans can attest. But gin and tonic while playing croquet at midday is starting too heavy. Pimms is pretty much anytime, then as the afternoon deepens and everyone gets a bit lazier you move on to the G&Ts
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

A good summer drink
white rum mixed with proper lemonade.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Pimms is the best alcoholic beverage around.
The smart (cheap) ones amongst us get Sainsburys' knock off version, Pitchers, because it's stronger and about a third of the price.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Anyone over the age of twelve who wears a replica shirt is indeed a notright.
That said, there's a vintage mid eighties Bayern Munich shirt I want, nothing to do with supporting them as I have no affinity towards that club whatsoever. It's purely because it looks cool as fuck.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Do you own any band t-shirts?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I think I hear a *zing* on the horizon

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Loads - but none of them is polyester
and none of them also says 'POLYDOR' or 'EMI' or whatever on it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Also I'm not under pressure to throw them away and buy a new one
every year, or I won't be a 'real fan'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:46, Reply)

every album?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:48, Reply)

A lot cheaper than a new shirt.

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:50, Reply)

I am the biggest most stupid sucker ever
AICMFP.

(Although I've never bought a replica shirt)

I enjoy watching football, and I'm not going to apologise for it, or throw up on your slippers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:39, Reply)

The rush you get from a last minute winner.
Is better than any drink/drug or whatever. The only reason I go into a football ground is because I want to experience that feeling (which is why I piss off back to the pub if we go two goals down).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Quite agree.
There have been some massive highs watching Bristol City.

This one sticks in the memory.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7_S9kLZ2FM

And this one

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRp3NJ7lMME&feature=related
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:50, Reply)

My mate was at that game, he was in a horrific mood for about two weeks afterwards.
This is my favorite seven seconds of Youtube footage.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhuKIywEAl4
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Thing is, I can't imagine I'd enjoy football as much if I supported a 'big' club.
When your team are usually shit, any success means so much more than if you expect to win things every year.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Reading your statement
I am willing to wager one hundred internet pounds that you have never smoked DMT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Danger Mouse Tobacco?
I've never seen it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)

This is why I will only wear a leotard with my favoured team's name written on in marker pen,
fuck commercialism.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Plus you look fucking ACE at the same time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Monkey tennis.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:43, Reply)

If you don't do it Sky will

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Pub Sumo with Chas and Dave.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:54, Reply)

My friend Alex and I
Occasionally play "object tennis". Instead of tennis racquets, you use a selection of household objects in rotation. The last game we played was with a shoe, a potty, a cat's food bowl, a petrol can, a book and a frying pan.

The petrol can was actually the best item - you could get one hell of a lob with it.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:57, Reply)

petrolporn!
We invented a game called Henry where you did much the same. The object was not to win and keep the rally going as long as possible
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

We used to play 'bar tennis' at work
Using the trays that catch bottle caps and bottle caps. Then there was an incident where someone nearly lost an eye and we had to stop.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:05, Reply)

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Then it's just a game ... of "Find The Eye".
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Any sport (diving, some types of gymnastics etc.)
That takes less time to do than it does to say the contestant's name.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:44, Reply)