Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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FUCK YEAH !!! Today's shaping up to be an awesome day.I told you it was gonna be an awesome week, and it's only just started basicly.
Tell me, what is going to make YOUR week awesome?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:16,
154 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Only having 6 days of Samoanswww.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13330592
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:18,
Reply)
I'll get over this cold by the tried and tested method of eating spicy foodand drinking whisky. It'll work a charm.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:18, Reply)
I've just drank 675% of my RDA of vitamin C as wellthat'll sort me out possibly.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)
turning down sex on frifrom a guy who turned out to be a complete tool (surprise surprise). it would have been a worse week if i'd said yes.
christ is that really the best i can come up with? out with work tomorrow and birthday party on thu and then an all-weekend hen-do, that's more cheerful.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:22,
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yupi don't know if he is being a tool because he didn't get laid and feels rejected or if he is just a tool who was only after getting laid. somehow i suspect the latter!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:26,
Reply)
yeahanyone who lives in ealing and refers to it repeatedly as "sexual ealing" is not someone i want to be shagging, frankly. in ealing or anywhere else!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
Hello youWhat happened to the actuary? Is he still being terrifyingly odd?
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)
berk!!!111!!yeah. unfortunately. he was texting about wanting to fuck a pregnant chick and having a thing about milfs fisting themselves the other day. i ignored him completely. then he went too far with "i bet your mum's a smoking milf". so i replied "not really. she's been buried for 5 years." and have had nothing but grovelling apologies ever since. twat!
did you have lots of fun?? x
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:32,
Reply)
there are a LOT of weirdos out there, i am discoveringa lot.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:42,
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Christ, what a freakI'm glad you made him grovel, he just sounds worryingly strange. Holiday was mostly very good thankyou, but I'm glad to be back in my own flat with my lovely comfy bed and nice shower after 10 days of hostels!
How are you, have I missed anything interesting whilst I've been away?
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)
bits and pieces, aye!i will gaz you later to fill you in!!
glad you had fun and hope TC is spoiling you.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
While waiting for a cab on friday at the place I used to work at, this real fucking creep who I've hated ever since I worked there kept on point out women in the street and asking me crude questions about them.He really creeps me out, asking me if I know anyone he can fuck.
Even if someone I really loved and respected suicide-bombed that place and wiped out everyone who worked there, it would still be a win.
I think he's implying something to do with my family, as they get cabs up to airports from there. If he ever says that straight, I'll send their entire office into the dark age, permanently.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:42,
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Even without the family thing, as I'm not 100% sure on that, he's a fucking disgusting dirty old man.In the space of 10 minutes for waiting for the cab, he asked me "Would you lick her out?... what about her ass?" about 4 times.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:19,
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AlternativelyTell him never to speak to you again or you will run him over as he leaves work one night.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)
after just logging onto facebook, I've noticed an acquaintence of mine has started a new profile for her "photography"which consists of pictures she's taken then switched the colors to black and white, or blue, with stupid pink boarders and I want to punch her in the mouth because she thinks that they're good photos and it's just like her to flaunt it in everyones face but I'm too nice to say THOSE ARE THE SHITTIEST PHOTOS I HAVE EVER SEEN AND ANYONE THAT GIVES YOU MONEY IS A TOTAL FUCKING MORON.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:26,
Reply)
You should create a new profilecall yourself "photography critic" or something like that, and then critizise her.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)
Do critics say "that's shit. did you do your photo processing WalMart?!" (
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:32,
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LINKY LINKLY LINKY !!!youarenotaphotographer.com/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:33,
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I wonder if they send you something to say "hey, you got mentioned on our website!" (
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:44,
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If Liverpool beat Fulham tonight, and City & Spurs draw tomorrow, that will definitely make me rather happyAnd I'm off to see Insidious on Wednesday, so I'm quite hoping that is good, as I've heard from people that it's quite scary (which I doubt), but it should be good nonetheless!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:27,
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Europe is Europe.Yes, it's not the best, and if City draw tomorrow, then lose their remaining games, we could still take 4th (not going to happen, I know), but it allows us the opportunity at another trophy. Plus, I'd quite like to see Suarez play in Europe for us.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:39,
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Be nice to see Kenny actually get to manage a Liverpool team in Europefor more than a couple of games, I mean. Good point about Suarez too
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Finally I got an appointment with the doctorsTwo, in fact, one Thursday and another Friday. Maybe they'll tell me why I'm in so much pain.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)
It could be that, yesbut I've been a good girl in the last days. Mark's been cooking all this pizza, and scones, and cakes and I just have a little bit and go back to my salad or veggies.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)
I mean by waving all taht tasty food in front of you and your salad(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:39,
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Do you just smash your sweaty palms into the keyboard while imagining what you want to write?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:40,
Reply)
Two questions concerning your nickWhy do you keep changing it? And what's happened to your previously excellent capitalisation?
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Someone is using NakedApeI'm pretty sure this is actually the NakedApe Monty uses as an internet bullseye
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)
Self-contradictory and quite amusing post is self-contradictory and quite amusing(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)
He cooks them for meI'm glad he's working hard for the rest of this week, so I'm in charge of the kitchen, though.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)
ThisI ate a shameful amount of ice cream on holiday and now I feel guilty and fat.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)
food eaten on holiday contains no caloriesThis is actual, scientific, FACT.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 May 2011, 13:34,
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I'm going to dinner with my friend tomorrow.I've missed her loads and it will be lovely and it's in a gorgeous bistro.
But how the fuck do I do that without getting fat!?
I'll fill up on veg and water but there's still wine and sauce and oh gawd.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:35,
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skip luncheat a nice dinner
you shouldn't do it often, but one day won't hurt!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:36,
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I can't skip lunchbut I'll make sure it's only veg/salad/fruit and small, so it'll have no bearing on the naughtiness later.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:37,
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and one naughty meal is not going to hurt!it's when you eat out 7 nights a week that you don't fit into your skirt. she says, very sadly.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:41,
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Better not to skip any meal,as your metabolism thinks you're going through trouble and will keep more energy from your next meal. Better have 6 meals a day, but with low calories.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)
It's only one meal, you'll be finejust have salad and fruit for lunch that day and the one after and it'll all balance out.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
I reckon DJTP won't want you if you get fat...... me and you should totally go down KFC and eat a bucket of _just_ the skins.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:05,
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One day I'll learn to say "Hello, how are you?" instead.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:13,
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I'm thinking about joining a gymto do some yoga. It'll have to be in London. I was thinking about a Virgin gym. Have you ever tried them?
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)
I can only assume this was deliberateNonetheless; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)
it wasn't! butit's safe to say i'm not the only one on here.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:40,
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The difference is,Chompy actually is a virgin but claims otherwise
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)
So you're with Virgin thenare they any good? The gyms look nice, but I'm more for the lessons than the machines.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)
they are goodbut some are better than others - esp outside london!
they do quite good short term membership options though, so i'd go for one month if i were you and see what you think. just remember to take a careful note of how/when to terminate it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:43,
Reply)
Thanks for the adviceI think I'll go for a tester in 2 weeks. I'm just interested on the yoga and the swimming pool. Usually I prefer to exercise outdoors.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)
*attempts hymen examination**is slapped and arrested*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:44,
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You deservefor doubting my word. And I could have broken the hymen myself.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)
mine is about £70 a month with a corporate deal for my firm i thinkpersonal trainer is then £150
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:42,
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I noe someone who goes to the ken one, he states that it's populated by knobs, is this troo?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:43,
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it's kensington darlingof course there are nobs there
there's also some total plebs, can only assume the council is paying for them as some kind of yoof scheme or something, as they have different coloured passes and shit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:55,
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OMG I BET THEY@RE COLOURED WITH CRIPPLED LIMBS AND HAVE SHITTY TURD WORLD DISEASES(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:08,
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Out of interest.What does a personal trainer actually do. I'm guessing you've already got a schedule of exercise from the gym, based on what you are trying to achieve. So where does the personal trainer fit in?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:00,
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book a freebie at your local gymis the best way to explain it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:01,
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Fuck that.I'll just google it instead.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:02,
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They are expensive, yesbut they have swimming pool, and they're very close to the office. There're no gyms with sp in Redhill at all.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)
Nothing. Nothing at all.I'm seeing my mother at the weekend. That should be nice. Anything else? Nah.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:33,
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Nothing at allmy new dress arriving but that's about it
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:40,
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My Mum is visiting on Wednesday, which will be lovelyMate's 30th birthday party on Friday - can anyone recommend me a good place to get personalised darts flights? Anyone?
*tumbleweed*
Saturday is the highlight of both the political and popular entertainment calendars, the Eurovision "Song" "Contest", and on Thursday the Mighty Reds will hopefully be horribly dismembering some swans.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)
Wish I could say the sameI would have loved to get Cardiff instead. I fancy us in the home leg, but Swansea are awesome at home and our record in the second leg of playoff semis in the last decade is staggeringly bad.
Thank you for the vote of confidence though mate :-)
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Saturday? Eurovision?I'll be on a bbq on Saturday and hope I'll miss every single TV program.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Of course notDoctor Who is not just a TV program, don't you know? He's real. Although it seems he's getting himself a wife, and I don't know if I like that.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)
Maybe he'll sprog her up, get all preoccupied and forgetfuland I'll be able to nick his TARDIS.
And you know what that means.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)
No ones bottom will be safe in any galaxyand at any time.
Christ, I may already have been bummed.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)
There's a way to find outNext time you go for a shit, see how easily it falls out
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I only had 1 10 minutes ago, and it seemed fineBut you've got me wondering now....
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)
You never know when a bumder with TARDIS will strikeThat's a good point actually. The Time Lords are like an intergalactic peacekeeping force who use their powers for good, yeah? Apart from The Master. Surely there must have been one or two who took TARDIS' out to shag their way around time and space in a way that James T. Kirk could only have dreamed of
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I think most of them just liked to fight and thatand it seems the Doctor is the only good one, as he didn't let any other Time Lord free when he could. But he can't make people forget, can he? We'd remember if he's been around.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)
I had forgotten about thatSo... maybe... I've been with The Doctor already. That'd be cool. And maybe DF has the TARDIS too and he's using it to have sex around the Universe and making people forget about it. But a bit of it somehow remains in our subsconcious, and that's why all, without a real reason and without having met him yet, are sure he's a bumder.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Wouldn't necessarily be cool to have been with the DoctorDepends on which Doctor. I wouldn't have thought you'd have been up for it with any of the first 3. Or the 6th or 7th.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)
I wouldn't want to be with the one that's on at the moment eitherTom Baker, Christopher Eccleston or David Tenant. Or you.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:27, Reply)
Mmmm...No, I think it'd be CE first, then DT and finally TB. Not because I think TB is a worse Doctor, I just know him less. And he'll be a bit old by now.
And you are the first, of course.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Not really, they just observe, surely?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:12,
Reply)
I dunno, they got the Doctor to go to Skaro and try to stop the Daleks before they got startedAdmittedly he failed, but concluded that it might be better off this way as it would unite peoples of various races against the Daleks, so he probably would have been better off just observing.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)
That'd be the only reasonwhy I'd be happy for him to marry. Even when the chance is so small, you should try to get it.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)
You've heard the rumours thenBefore any cunt else says it
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I think it's not fearthey're just tired of me not understanding the jokes.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I prefer my suggestionCos that way eventually I'll have a TARDIS and a sex-mistress who terrifies the internet
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)
HahahaOk, we can go for that. I always managed for a friend to unfriend me in Facebook last week, I'll try harder and see what I can get this week.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:28, Reply)
What you've done is stepped away from your closet, turned around to it and destroyed it utterlyso that you may never return to it's warming bosom
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
I shall transmit my thoughts across the cosmos welcoming them here.(
girlinthehole, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:53,
Reply)
Using your bigtin foil hat? Ah, no, that's to avoid your thoughts being reading. Are you going to wear a satellite disk on your head?
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)
No.I'm going to wear my straw summer cowboy hat. It's very flattering.
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girlinthehole, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:56,
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I'm hoping the week can only get betterbecause so far, it's sucking donkey balls.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 May 2011, 13:48,
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She's having to suck donkey balls; that's enough to put anyone in a bad moodanyone, but Darth of course
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:49,
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+ currently bouncing gently off my anus(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:53,
Reply)
I started the day off this morning by doing something monumentally stupid, which caused me physical harmThen I went to my computer club, and there were twice the number of punters that we usually get, and they all wanted help, and I was running about all over the place trying to help them, but they all wanted one-on-one help. And two of them were seriously hard of hearing, and kept glaring at the others because they were being too loud.
I don't cope well with stress.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 May 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
I run a computers for the terrified club at the local pubWe've just got BBC First Click accreditation, so we've had a load of new people sent to us. Most of them don't even know how to turn the thing on, let alone web surf.
*tears out hair* I don't even get paid for this shit!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 May 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
Oh cool, that sounds alright, but quite fustrating.The best advice I give people is to click on everything to see what it does, you can't 'break' the computer (at least, not accidently), absolute worst case is that you lose some stuff, but that's not a big deal if the thing is set up right.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:04,
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It sounds really coolit'd be better if you were paid, of course. I've had to deal with my mother, and she's not new to PCs, and I could cut my veins sometimes.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Allow me to cheer you up, beloved Internet NemesisSeries 1 of Babylon 5 was QUITE GOOD
Which is a damn sight better than what I was expecting after watching The Gathering
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)
I'm not entirely sure if I should be talking to you(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 May 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
I was expecting to hate itCos, y'know, The Gathering was fucking awful. But it's surprised me consistently. The acting is absolutely shocking, G'Kar and Londo aside, but a lot about it is brilliant. Second half of the season tailed off a bit but the last episode set up some very interesting teasers.
This is coming from a hardcore, dyed-in-the-wool Battlestar Galactica fanatic who only watched B5 under duress from his partner, so it's more flattering than you might imagine.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Massive drugsMy new honda accord, and snorting a 9" line of coke off of my new boyfriend's cock.
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 21:56, Reply)
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