Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Just going through some old threads. Man, we've got some proper nutters on b3ta haven't we?Who is your favourite nutter, b3tan or otherwise?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:30,
195 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Dave the RaveReligious nutcase in Sunderland who raves with a massive plastic cross on in the bars in Sunderland. Proper legendary nutcase!
He has a fan page on facebook and is also on youtube
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
Hang aboutFacebook fanpage? North East of England? Delusional belief in a higher power*?
Are you sure you don't mean Jam Master Geordie?
*himself
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:38, Reply)
No, Dave the Rave is funny(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:40,
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I was just talking to Internet cr3.We were laughing at the situation whilst drawing comedy moustaches on everybody's passport photos.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 15:58,
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I'm impressed*Bold fonts and swearing we're used to, but red? Well, that's a whole new and exciting way of saying "look at me".
*I'm not
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)
Top ignoring the situation, right there.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:00,
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What is the situation JMG?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:00,
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The internet is getting incredibly serious, now that I have posted.I'm in complete control of the situation.
Well played, JMG.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:02,
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I thought the internet was always serious.People seem to take it very seriously, anyway.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:04,
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Levels of serious, and chances of tantrum escalate whenever JMG joins in a thread.I'm like the stuff Superman was allergic to, asides Horseslol.
Surely everybody who reads this knows the name of the stone or whatever it was I'm after.
I'm playing incredibly safe odds.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:07,
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I'm going to a bash next week and I'm going to pretend I'm JMG with everyone new that I meet.Do you endorse this behaviour or do I need to apply for some kind of licence?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:08,
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You'll probably have somebody in a Scout's uniform come at you with the full might of one hundred knot-tying badges.Crack his inhaler. It's like life-regeneration to typical b3tans.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:09,
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I quite like the edgy look a woggle gives a scout.It'd have to be a Venture Scout though, I don't want to get a reputation.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:11,
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Darth; you can right click and go to image properties to save this.(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)
or googlethey've got THOUSANDS OF GLORIOUS PICTURES JUST LIKE IT!
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:05,
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I didn't think men could get pregnant.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:05,
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I dunno girl, his guts look deformed.I can't help but imagine some kind of alien embryo trying to burst out.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:08,
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It's the camera angle, and the way he's leaning backsort of like he's saying "guess what's down there...that's my love wand"
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:09,
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Or "I had far too many chimichangas for my dinner and I'm going to spend the night farting under the bedclothes!"(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:12,
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You don't get a body like that from eating too many chimichangas. (
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:17,
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No, you get it from steroid abuse, waxing and tanning beds.(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:35,
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is this your answer to the nutter question?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:11,
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You're so far away from the conversation down here, I no longer am certain if you're asking me or not.But we can hang out here until an internet wide knight comes charging in to save you from JMG based peril?
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:15,
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*wide knights*(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:17,
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I envisage the typical QOTW Internet Wide Knight rides a horse that's clearly showing the strain.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:18,
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Obvious answer is obviousCharlie Sheen. Also Ian Holloway, in a much less worrying way.
In B3ta terms, it's got to be Bert. Bizarrely, this is mostly because he's such an utter cunt; it heartens me to see everyone stop bickering and rally against the wanker. We should invite him to a bash one time, and have the entire pub greet him with a massive chorus of "FUCK OFF BERT" when he walks through the door.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:34, Reply)
I believe there was carnal knowledge at a bash, many moons ago(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:39,
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I've not seen thatShe seems calm to me
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:47,
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I wouldn't call her angry, I'd say she had sharp teethlike kittens. Little pincey fucking sharp little kitten teeth.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:48,
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I am extremely hateableMaybe we're like two positively charged ions
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:49, Reply)
They're all quite annoying,Ding was good back in the glory days of Talk.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:37, Reply)
Never frequented /talkTell us about Ding
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:37,
Reply)
Chinese girl, didn't speak very good englishGOT VERY UPSET OFTEN and said loads of lol stuff.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:39, Reply)
She was a chinese girlwho came on and spouted absolute shite. We could never work out if it was just randomly poor english, if she was using a mental online translation tool or if she was either completely off her box or was a really clever bot.
Anyway, she used to go on about some bloke called Arno. Stuj stalked her up good and proper and even got a picture, I think. ^^hehe stupid hat.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:40,
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^^stupid hat.obsidian nipples. ARNO!
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:38,
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sample Ding post(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:40,
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another sample^^stupid hat.
obsidian nipples. ARNO!
( the mighty badger can beat a bear to death with his penis, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:38, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Wha?
( sportscow Accident free since, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:39, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
sample Ding post
( the mighty badger can beat a bear to death with his penis, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:40, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
I like her already
( sportscow Accident free since, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:41, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:42, Reply)
This is making my brain hurt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:42,
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she used to copy and paste other postsin her own posts. Nope, no idea either.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:43,
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aw that was before my timewhy did she get the ban hammer?
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:44,
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she really was tremendous entertainment.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:42,
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I think everyone on here should invite a new mental into the group(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:52,
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Patch 2010A02_15 AvailabilityVery random
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:04,
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And BouBou was worth the admission money alone. So long as you ignored the scary gazzes demanding cock pics and demanding to fuck you.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:41,
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although she stalked me onto Flickr which was a bit scary.Bou is the reason it's basically impossible to sign up to b3ta now with a South African IP address, she had so many sockpuppet accounts
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:43,
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she was always on me about syncubusbecause we met
apparently I'm a WHORE!!!!!!
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:46,
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what, you met Syncubus?I really, really hope you took the opportunity to kick him solidly in the swingers?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:48,
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this was before he was all squirrelniggernutsDADomgfartSTUPIDASSpissedthebed(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:50,
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search is borked so I can't linkbut in the end he was always going on about pissing the bed, or catching his trashcan on fire with cigarette ashes so he'd have to piss in it
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:59,
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He did have a slight tendency to go "YeeHaw Squirrelnigger"a lot. Him and Bou are two beautifully batshit mental racist peas in a pod. Only a white pod, obviously. No fucking greens
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:01,
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I was accused of being Syncubus for my very first post on /talk(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:51,
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yes. yes, I have.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:48,
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You cannot beat good ol' Charlie Manson.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:39,
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He wasn't as much of a nutter as the middle class white girls......who believed his shit.
PS Hello.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:46, Reply)
Wotcha cock.The video footage of his prison rantings suggests he is not a well boy.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:49,
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I'm going with the Manson was probably not too well for quite a while(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:54,
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The swastika carved into the forehead is usually a good indicator.(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)
As opposed to him not being as much of a nutter as the middle class white girls...
...who believed his shit.
Do keep up, Sporto old stick.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:54,
Reply)
There's an old man that lives down the road from my parents, can be seen talking to himself on a regular basisif that gets too dull he'll shout at his plants.
There's another that walks around town shaking his fist at people, talks and laughs to himself, dances to the music spilling from cars.
Oh, and theres the one that charges at you with his cane.
I think he's dead now though. He was proper scary when I was a kid.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:44,
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But "good" nutter b3tans I missFenris was an absolutely top notch mental
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:47,
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Is Hansel and Gretel OK?I do think you're a little old for this now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:54,
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Fenris was an old skool b3tanHis consumption would put Monty to shame. But whenever he overcooked it he would tell us in great detail. He had no sense of personal shame and was, therefore, fucking brilliant. Very entertaining in real life, too.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:02,
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I liked Fenrisalways had a good story.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 13 May 2011, 17:06,
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You need to narrow it down, old boy(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:51,
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...and the same for you. Story(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:50,
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We had another good nutterCliff Maidment. I think he was a lecturer who went a bit "odd". Used to walk round with a hiking walking stick and shorts on all the time and wear a t-shirt saying "I am Cliff Maidment".
Somebody punched him outside my old local and he banged his head and died. Sad times
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:49,
Reply)
There used to be a homeless man......who was often found in the bus station in Cheltenham. He used to walk up to people, stare at them (or more accurately just to the side of them thus avoiding eye contact) and scream "Fucking cars". If questioned about it he would get teary and shuffle off.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:50, Reply)
ParkatrampWears a parka and tracky bums and a cable as a belt and nothing else. Hangs around outside the offie on Camberwell Church street or on the Green.
Harmless, but half naked.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:53,
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Best kind of harmless.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:54,
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Parkatramp. Parkatramp.Does whatever a wino can
Has Tourettes. Pissed himself.
Look Out!
Here comes the Parkatramp.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)
I'm sure DG would have something to say about that(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:02,
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YepMinelli really let herself go at the end
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:07,
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This thread needs more examples and links to nutty postersthat or just pop over to the QOTW fail blog
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:56,
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www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1201094
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:57,
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If you ever come to Norwich and ask any of the locals about The Puppet Man they'll know who you meanIf you can make sense of what they say in response, everyone has a story about him. He's an old chap who stands on the main public thoroughfare in the city centre, waving a sooty-esque puppet on one hand and mumbling into a microphone with the other, vaguely in time to whatever song is playing on his boom-box at the time.
People have hired him for private events. That's what being deprived of decent gig venues will do to a city.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
I imagine most people in Nowrich can you about the twirly dancing gayer man, too."And he was in my telly, right, and he was trying to turn my brother and me gay, right, but it didn't work, cos he's not just my brother he's my uncle as well, right, and you know the worst bit? He only has five fingers on each hand!"
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:02,
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I have clicked this, despite myself It made me desklol so hard that I might well use it in future to illustrate why you're awesome
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:09, Reply)
that fact needs no illustrationit just is. It's a given fact, like gravity.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:09,
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Right, I'm back. I'm sure you all missed me.I don't know many internet nutters, but I can guarantee that if I am travelling on any kind of public transport, they will find me. And I'm far too nice to tell them loudly to cock off and die, so I get stuck with the bastards.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 May 2011, 15:59,
Reply)
If you're honest, marrying one probably sent the wrong signal to the restSorry darlin'
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Is that why you were rubbing your own shit in your face on the 256 the other day?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:10,
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It is good to have a skin-care regime.Faeces make a fabulour moisturiser - except if you were eating peanuts the day before.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:14, Reply)
There is a tramp near me who lives in a tarpaulin suspended in the trees on an island in the ThamesThis island has no dry land at high tide. He stinks and lots fairly awful.
However he is one of the funniest, most erudite and polite people I've ever met, he also has a fantastic tenor singing voice!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:00,
Reply)
There is a guy who gets on the Metro round herewho carries a binbag, filled with God knows what. He FUCKING STINKS. You can actually smell when he gets onto the train, even from the other end
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:01,
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I thought he looked (and smelled) like youHe has one massive matted dreadlock about 4 ft long
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:05,
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Much the same effect is achieved when someone who's had a shower that day gets on a bus in Glasgow(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)
+ on all fours and presents self like a baboon after one too many Tia Marias(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:17,
Reply)
How do you know how many Tia Marias is one too many for a baboon?Something you want to tell us?
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Departez l'internette.(I cannot speak foreign)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:29,
Reply)
This guy made it onto the BBC, can't find a link thoughWhere's chompy when you need him? Actually don't answer that i don't want to have to lie to the police
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:07,
Reply)
Yes dear?You'd better not be implying what I think you're implying
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)
Oh yes....There was a quality nutter I used to see in Kentish Town when I was at university.
Black chap who used do that race-walk mincing thing, in the road, in tatty 80s running gear, headband, vintage walkman…..and a pair of bright red satin women’s knickers over this shorts, and a squashed empty water bottle stuffed down the side of them, with a handwritten label on it that read ‘SQUEEZE BOTTLE FOR SEX’.
He was pretty smart.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:01,
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A black teenager with downs syndrome tried to sell me crack once in a pubhe also wanted me to go to his amateur dramatics production that he was acting in.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:04,
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My mumwww.google.co.uk/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1159&bih=495&q=guildford+bearded+lady&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=g1&aql=&oq=
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Kroney, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:08,
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ha ha haNeeds more sweetcorn in the beard
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:09,
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why did she grow it that long? waxing isn't that expensive
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:11,
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I think you've missed the problem with mental health here...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:12,
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Beard health is excellent though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:13,
Reply)
what's the problem then?she doesn't look crazy at all to me
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:15,
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You've not seen Kristine's beard, have you?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:22,
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I'm going to click thisJust to see it on the popular page and choose to believe you meant something else
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
groanmy dad won't shut up about them
always "you play the flute, you should learn some jethro tull"
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:16,
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'This Was' is a top quality late 60s blues-rock LPThey got steadily worse after that.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:17,
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Your dad loves the Turps, more like.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:20,
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(, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Tell that to your drinking buddy Marc Almond.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:21,
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I continue to be convincedthat you and my old man would get on.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 13 May 2011, 16:17,
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Revolutionised farming practice and no mistake.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:20,
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www.fanpop.com/images/polls/12681_2_160.jpg?v=1187371727
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:15,
Reply)
God I hate that programIt was about as funny as ebola in your cock
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:18,
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Ebola in Sporto's cock is much, much funnier than that shit.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:19,
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*puts in old peoples home**steals pension*
*buys hookers and coke*
It's what he would have wanted
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:21,
Reply)
I like megaphone christian nutterin London and surrounding area. He claims the clergy are in it for the money and don't believe.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 16:29,
Reply)
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