Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well, it's a simply glorious morning here in the Black Hole of Calcutta of North London.Let's spoil it by having an argument. I put it to you that you are a FUCKING WANKER and would like to know what you intend doing about it.
Alt: Are you looking at my fucking pint?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:31,
132 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Where was Crow when this happened?
I'm off to Chester for the day. I do hope I have time to visit the Village of Hollyoaks.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:32,
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I thought as muchMorning HRH Ape
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:03,
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That's the trouble with birdsthey can tern on you.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:39,
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Beating a scouser with his pipe cleaner wrists must have left him puffin(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:40,
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I wonder if the assailant was trying to robin(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:51,
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he was completely shagged out(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:12,
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I'm looking at your pint of lime shandy you cancerous old queenNow get back to your abusive care home you piece of Yoko Ono's shit.
Also, morning!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:39,
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Ready to get ANGRY AT COMPUTERS again today?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:46,
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Ready to get ANGRY AT EVERYTHING again today?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:49,
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I intend to give you a big Blousie hug the next time we meet.Alt: I'm not looking at your pint, it's in front of your fucking lush girlfriend I'm staring at.
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girlinthehole, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:41,
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You haven't quite mastered this arguing lark yet, have you?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:49,
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You should stick me in an envelope and post me to someone you love.(
girlinthehole, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:58,
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I'd post you to Mrs albut I'd be worried you would steal her from me.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)
As awesome as I am, I don't have a willy.Or your breadmaking skillz.
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girlinthehole, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:05,
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Hm. Missing vowel syndrome.Before we go any further, are you stating that I am A fucking wanker or fucking A wanker?
Either way young man I hope your blender is in good working order as you will be needing it in short order.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Hahah I was posting in a Hong Kong accent.Honest.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:48,
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Pfft. A weak excuse from a shifty individual.May one take this opportunity to perhaps insinuate that you are in fact the owner of a rather fetching pink shirt,
the tails of which are lifted on a regular basis. For sexual purposes.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:52, Reply)
Oh you agree already?Not very good at this argument thingy are you? I am of course predicated toward the statement being a grammatical train-wreck and that you meant to write "That's right, isn't it" in your best faux Welshness.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:56, Reply)
One can also use the tails to tie him to a tree(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:54,
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He's already tied to a treeyou wouldn't want a Benny on the loose now would you.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:56, Reply)
I've just eaten my lunchtime sandwiches because I forgot to have any breakfast before I left the house.Last night I aggravated my running injury so I'm going to have to ride my gay bike for a week or so instead.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:55, Reply)
I have a twisted knee caused by wakeboarding, it won't bloody heal!What have you done?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:58,
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Shin splints. I was fine while runningbut once I got home and sat down I couldn't walk on my left leg. Spent the next hour stretching my calves, iceing my shin and walking around on my tip toes and heels.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Legends who can't do it because they've fucked their knees?I can't mock. My knees are both wrecked, purely by the exciting activity of getting old.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:06,
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using a kayak or similar to catch waves is surfing for poofs.everytime I see one of them in the sea (we call them goatboaters) I get the urge to go up to them and ask how it feels for everyone at a beach to think they are a wanker.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:11,
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They would simply reply 'I don't know, you tell me, 'Vipros'...'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:15,
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I nearly got a free Brompton on the tube this morning.Then I remembered how bent they were and handed it in at Woodside Park.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:00,
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AhhPeople who ride them should be shot
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:02,
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I know but I'd look like a tosser on it. Plus I had a rare moment of sympathy for my fellow man.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:05,
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I'm going to kick your fucking head in, you cunt.Alt: No more pints thanks, had 3 Old Rosie on an empty stomach last night, then moved to shitty 'cider', slept badly, and now I'm in agony with a bad back.
Also, For Noel.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:58,
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Morning allI put it to YOU SIR, that you are a 70's throwback and as such should be thrown back.
Alt: Aye, what the fuck are you gonna do about it? Pick a window sunshine...
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:59,
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I'm tiredExplain your working
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:03,
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I see. Thank youMy brain turned it into some kind of tree removal
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:06,
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I slept like shit last nightmy back hurts again, and I keep going hot and cold. It's not very nice.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:59,
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You are going through the menopause, I recommned some HRT(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:01,
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shut it shit-for-brains(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:06,
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If you want a good basic tarka dal recipe use Nigel Slater's.Then customise it with some chick peas, black onion seeds and/or spinach once you've mastered it (ie you've made it about twice). I made this for Lusty who described it as the nicest thing she'd eaten in months and a good approximation of the better ones she'd had in India.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:03,
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I will give that a gothanks
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:05,
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If the other things she'd been eating include your rancid cockI can imagine her conclusion was correct.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:09,
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She's not Armin fucking Miewes you alcoholic tart.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:19,
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*googles*So he's eaten your rancid cock? Is that what's made you so bitter, Monty? Is it?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:24,
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Would you mind not breathing on me at this hour, please?The stench of sherry is making me feel a little sick.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:26,
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I'm going to make some hummous this eveningIf I remember to buy some tahini
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:14,
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My mother, who has made everything under the sun, says 'don't bother'.You end up with more than you can deal with, you can't freeze it and it's not noticeably better than shop stuff.
Instead you should do my trick of pouring the best olive oil you can afford (and a couple of shredded parsley leaves) on the top of it and making sure it’s room temperature – this improves it many times over.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:18,
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I find shop bought to have too much garlic inI was going to substitute it with chilli
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:27,
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Having been known at times to engage in both FUCKING and WANKING I intend to find out the source of your psychic powersAlt: No, I'm chewing a brick
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:02,
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It's less 'psychic' and more 'I can see into your bathroom window'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:04,
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*breaks out the steel plates and the welding gun**enables sentry guns*
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:10,
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You're wasting your time, 'Bill Clay' - if indeed that is your real name.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:12,
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I think you should change your sig to 'if indeed that is my real name'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:13,
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It's not my real nameI've always been under the impression that using your real name on the intermaweb-doo-hickey was a BAD IDEA. If everyone else on here is using their real names then I'm glad I didn't have their parents.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:22,
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You're asking in the wrong place(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:31,
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Well there's always your mumShe's a bit of a joke aint she
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:33,
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And I put it to *you*, sir, that I have been called worse by better people than you.Morning you. Sunny and cheerful as always, then?
Alt: of course I'm not. Why would I? I have a perfectly lovely cup of tea right here, on my desk.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:05,
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You've been waiting to throw that back at me, haven't you?Morning Sunshine.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:07,
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Yes, yes I haveMorning b3th
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:13,
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I maintain I was well within my rights.EDIT: also, may I congratulate you on being just about the first person ever to notice that my user name doesn't start with a capital letter?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:17,
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It was only one G&T!Ok two .... big ones
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:18,
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OK, I concedeThe bottle of red last night was lovely though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:21,
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It was firmly my intention last nightto get royally cunted, and hope I didn't wake up in the morning. However, I refrained from the drinking, and woke up fresh as a fucking daisy. Go figure.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:23,
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5.20am wake up call from Cow Jr=tired sportscow(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:25,
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Bollocks.Being awoken by the comical antics of one's offspring is one of life's greatest pleasures.
I get 'It's morning time and it's a beaauuutiful day!' from mine, and it's so cute I could blub.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:30,
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My daughter doesn't wake up 'til gone 8 every day anyway, thinking about it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:43,
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Yeah, congratulations on that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:20,
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And in addition, I would say to youAre you talking to me or chewing a brick? Either way you will lose significant amounts of dentiture.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)
You can FACK OFF AN' ALL you simpering berk (c) my father(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:14,
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OK, people dissin' gonz sat on a great wall, all the people dissin' gonz had a great fall, all the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put their egos back together again.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:13,
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Oi! Nakedape...oh waitsorry nakedape
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:16,
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Wait, what?I'm not a geriatric crack whore from North london
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:18,
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South West london, it's a better class of crack whore round these parts(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:23,
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I hope you're wearing a hatas it will give you something to carry your teeth home in.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:26,
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That's a good one. I might purloin that, if I may?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:28,
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Feel freeI - it's traditional rather than my own creation.Besides, burying you would be a waste of a hole.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:48,
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You ever tried picking up your teeth with broken fingers, you cunt?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:30,
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it's all about the teeth herewhy not threaten another part of his anatomy?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:33,
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arms, legs and dicks grow back?what? I think your mixing him up with a lizard
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:37,
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My mixing is fine, I'll have you know!I'm not willing to be cutting things off, I just meant breaking bones, etc
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:38,
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I am famed for my gorgeous teeth.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:37,
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I assumed they were brown, rotting and missingcausing you breath to smell like you'd stored a flatulent dead squirrel in your cheeks
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:39,
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Unlike your dismal LARPing friends, I am not some grubby-fingered halfwitwho spends his time pissing about in forests charging at barbecues and playing at wizards.
I am an urban sophisticate with personal grooming skills to match.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:41,
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:43,
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A likely story You are like some gigantic robot hippy assembled from the parts of lesser hippies.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:49,
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One day, scientists will study your brain to learn more about your distant cousin, Man.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:50,
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YOU'RE GOING HOME IN A FLOATING AMBIENCE!Oh, sorry, I'm just raving.
PS Does your mother have incredible needlework skills? Then get her to stitch this you reprobate!
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Just for Crunchy.*Ahem*
OI! CUNT! Pipe down or I'll kick your bollocks so hard your throat will look like a fucking pawnbroker's sign.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)
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