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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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FUCK YEAH, X-MAN FILM ! FUCK YEAH !
Today the x-man film comes out, it's about these people who 'mutated' to have super powers. In the cartoons, there is no super-power that is "Oh god, that's stupid, it's like playing 'i win, you lose'".

Whenever one of these films comes out somewhere, the old question of "What super power would you pick and why?", sometimes with a "What would be the downfall of it?" (as it spices things up) verient.

So I'm gonna change it around, invent an x-man or baddy x-man; or x-women / baddy x-woman.... consider this a class in creative writing or something, I donno... I just came up with an idea for one that I haven't seen which is why I'm writting this.

The Phamacy This is a guy who can cause the effects of any drugs he's taken to put in anyone else. He doesn't need the drug as long as he can remember what the effect is like, and he can mix'n'match them. He can also reverse or even stop this on other people. So if he meets someone who's smacked out their tits, he can stop the effects, sobar them right up. Or he can suddenly cause the effects of Chemo to the masses. In his penultimate eppisode, he'll stop the cure for cancer which is causing people to turn into Vampires (ala I Am Legand) by being hooked up to a big machine. The crevash is that he has to experiance the drug himself recently, and he is addicted to making himself feel smacked up.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 8:55, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Hm.
The Pharmacy MontyMan
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:00, Reply)
Porkers!
How the devil are you?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Not too shoddy old chap.
Just finding out how absolutely uncivil early mornings are. Damned vague delivery times from unreliable agents. "Your parcel will arrive between 0730 and 1730" indeed. How rude.

And you?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Must be awful. 7.30am? Positively barbaric.
*grumbles*

Very well thank you. Be fucking glad when the missus' Dad and Stepmum get their nuptials over with so everyone can stop stressing. Otherwise, no complaints.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I invent someone the size of a planet and completely invincible, he can kill anyone
the end
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:17, Reply)
You obviously haven't seen Transformers: The Movie

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Or Star Wars.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Or Al at dinner

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
The Wild Bargain Hunter
automatically knows which supermarket have the cheapest deal on any equivalent product. Did really well for himself until the internet got popular. Now unemployed and eating tesco value beans
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Haha, awww.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)
I liked that dude who could control milk
on Misfits
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Lactokinesis
That has to be the shittiest power ever.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:23, Reply)
I think the shittest superpower would be a highly-sharpened sense of morbid disappointment.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I think I have that

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)
it appears like that
but have you seen the series? I won't give it away, it made me laugh quite a lot
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Yes I have seen it
When Kelly sees him on TV she says "That has to be the shittest power ever!"
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
oh, sorry :(

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Yeh! Bow down to my superior misfits knowledge!
You don’t wanna mess with me man. I do that cage-fighting shit - I’ve killed a Chinese man with my bare hands. Oh yeah, who’s scared now, huh?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)
perfect knowledge of misfits
that must be the shittest superpower ever
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)
We're like the Mitchell brothers! Only we're not fat, bald and shit!
Nathan is the best character
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
He's not in Season 3
I'm very sad about it.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I'm probably not going to bother with this series then

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)
I kept on missing that, was it any good?

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)
yes
very funny. Probably still on 4od
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Yes
But Monty will probably think its shit
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)
yeah, but that's because it's a thing
he thinks all things are fucking shit
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)
hey! Gonz, do you have a Kindle?
are they awesome? I might buy a Kindle today
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)
I kind of have a kindle, I got an iPad which has the kindle software on it.
I think it's amazing, I can't recomend them for bookworms enough. It's exactly what the iPod has done for music, except for books (but not all printed media, yet, such as magazines and color newspapers). In fact, it's gone one better than iPod, think more along the lines of iPod Touch, because you can purchase them from your device.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
hmmm
I think I am sold on this. I like books A LOT, but they are so heavy and space demanding
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I'm undecided.
It's very difficult to lose your book collection due to a technological fuck-up. You need a fuck-off good fire for that. Or a flood.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I reckon it's like ipod
I download some stuff, but the things I really like I get on CD.

so, do I want the 3G or non 3G one?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)
How often would you be away from the internet (wifi), _and_ want to download new content at the same time?

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
um, rarely I imagine
do you do it via usb and your computer the rest of the time?

i suppose students could give me essays via wi fi. I think that would be shit though
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
waiT!
I need a wifi connection? I don't have one of those :(
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I think you can USB it, but it might need wifi.
You can set one up on your laptop or computer if it has a card... Most of them do over the last 10 years, and if not, cards are cheap, like a tenner
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I'd have to get a card, I think
I built the computer and don't remember putting one in.

3G, though, could be more like Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy if you can access wikipedia
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
A nuke could centre on your house holding all your electronics and you'll still not only have all your books, but all your bookmarks.
A book on the kindle system is linked to the account, they don't charge for re-downloading and your bookmarks, notes (you can write notes into the book) are all saved. They also have a built in dictionary and Wikipedia links if you don't know a word.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
I love the smell and touch of books.
I could never get a kindle.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)
they are very very nice
and there is no way I'd stop buying books, especially 2nd hand places, but this could mean so much less carrying things around
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Yeah second hand books are great and all, until you get to page 59 and some dirty cunt has wiped a snot across the whole page

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)
you need to get yourself to a better class of 2nd hand bookshop

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Safest to stick with a kindle

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
The only thing to keep in mind is that eBooks aren't _that_ much cheaper than their phsyical copies.
Which although sounds like due to manufacturing it should be a lot less; when you buy a book, it's not the paper you're buying, it's the content... this is much fairer, cuts out the medium so more money goes to the author/right-holder. It also allows for relativly unknown authors to publish something without the investment needed to go into print. Book Shops take a huge hit with the popularity with these things, but I reckon people who would buy Kindle books would be buying online and therefore bypassing normal retail channels anyway. Printers should be very worried with the advent of colour ePaper that will come to market towards the end of the year (in the same way that CD Manufactures have).

Also, the big arguement about lending books out, is not true, you can lend books out on Amazon.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)
well just like ipods have brought about
a vinyl (and other physical media) fetish, so too will people still idolise the material object of a book
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Also as BGB says up there, it can't replicate the smell or textures, the feeling of cracking a spine for the first time, seeing stains in a second hand cookbook.
But it does everything else and then some.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)
you crack the spine?!
urgh! heathen!
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Yeah!
Let's crack HIS spine, see how he likes it.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Never lend books
Admiral Adama says it's a bad idea so it must be.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
I always do
I love being able to discuss favourite books with people. I used to live in a house where we all liked similar things, we'd trade washing up duties to be the next person to read part of a series. Game of Thrones was one of them. Good times.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Yeah I was totally kidding
I've lost track of the number of people I've leant World War Z to. Because everyone should read it. I won't lend my copy of Watchmen, but that's because it's Watchmen.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)
i bloody loved world war z!
much much better than any zombie book has any right to be.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Yes indeed
Extraordinarily inventive and worryingly descriptive
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I hope they don't ruin it by making a crap film
I still reckon a TV mini series in a documentary style would be the best way to bring it to screen.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
yes
like Series 7, although that was more reality TV
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I saw that when it came out
I can't remember what it was like now.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
it was very cool
made like a TV series back to back. A game where people had to kill all the other participants, like Assassin (if you've played that) only real
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I absolutely agree with this
They are making a film but I can see it descending into a by-the-numbers zombie film, because obviously we need another one of them. No studio will make a film without a central character and strong plot thrust.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)
+ Brad Pitt

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

www.imdb.com/name/nm0286975/news#ni11039947
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I knew his Plan B company were behind it
Al's right, it needs to be filmed as it was written, or it loses what made it great in the first place.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)
The whole thing with the interview with the guy who turns out to be Paul Redeker
wouldn't work if you knew it was a mental asylum.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:33, Reply)
clever camera work could make that happen

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)
The only bits I can see working in the way the studio would want them to
would be the Battle of Yonkers and possibly the two Japanese guys. Everything else will require time and depth to flesh out. Not doable in a two-hour film.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
The bit with the latino pilot (who is clearly going to be played by Michelle Rodriguez)
would also work as a film.

In fact the Japanese guys and the pilot one would actually work better as a film, otherwise they would end up being "re-enactment" style shots. But with Yonkers you could do it documentary style as the whole point was that it all got filmed with head set cameras as well as the media.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I would fucking love that
but I reckon they'll end up mounting it as a huge pitched battle with millions of Zack, shock and awe in reverse style
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:52, Reply)
It's not fairer Gonz
it's large publishing companies trying to make more money, the same as how an mp3 is pretty much the same as a CD, but bands aren't making any more money out of it, only the record companies.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
authors make something crazy like 5p a book
normally. Unless you suck Richard and JUdy cock, you aren't going to make lots of money as an author
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I think the book split is like the AppStore.....70/30.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Yes, but that 70% is going to the publisher, not the author
If you self publish, and sell a lot, you can make money. But the publishing house doesn't have to pay out for actually having a physical book made, so it's making a lot more profit.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Can I join in?
I have a Sony e-reader and a low budget colour e-book thing. Both are very good, and great if you want to carry more than one book without taking up all your bag space. But I also have a huge shelf of books I haven't got round to reading yet. If you could transfer books to your e-device the same way you can transfer CDs to your iPod, I would be a happy bunny.

Mind you, since Angry birds, I really haven't done much of any kind of reading.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I had a similar idea
Bedlam - he can induce temporary mental disorders. Imagine your team of plucky teen mutants all suddenly suffering from massive paranoia and rage issues. Stand back and watch the fun.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Just to play up to the meme
My superhero would be called SambaMan. His hip action of wonderment can hypnotise opponents into acts of humiliating anal sodomy. Weaknesses; easily distracted by sequins, gets very depressed by anyone discussing the parlous state of Brazilian deforestation.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)
This is lame compared to 'The Fwapster' Marty

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Woah
this sounds like some kind of superhero porn
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Does it really?
That absolutely was not my intention.

Morning, your Highness. Are you well?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)
I'm OK, I'm also 35
I got 3 cards and a pair of flip flops.

However, I also got enough birthday money from parents to buy a kindle and I just ate a shit load of porridge

how's the word of mr foxtrot?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
The word is bent

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)
damn stupid fingers

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Today?
Happy Birthday! What have you got planned?

My wor(l)d is unnecessarily busy but otherwise dandy thank you. Am begrudgingly accepting that Babylon 5 is actually quite brilliant, in a sub-BSG way.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:51, Reply)
yeah, today. Off for a curry this evening
may go to the gym in a bit and the guinea pigs need cleaning. I know how to party.

B5 is pretty good, but not seen much of it in order.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Oh, my apologies
It's our mutual friend who loves B5 to an unhealthy degree. I assume you'll be wearing a party hat at the gym to let everyone know they have to bow at your feet and bring you water and towels on command.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)
this is definitely an option
I big gold crown shaped party hat.

Me and or mutual friend pissed off a god thing at the weekend. Was good
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Anyone else, I'd accuse them of too much cheese before bedtime
But I assume you mean LARP. Glad you had the fun :-)
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
It's no Farscape.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Happy Birthday Crunchy!
Don't buy a kindle. Buy a nice frock and go out for tea.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
a nice frock? really?
I'm supposed to buy something for my cousin's wedding, but I look shit in pretty much all nice clothes and I hate shopping.

I think my work mates are arranging a tea and cakes afternoon later this week

edit (also - thank you!)
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Happy Birthday your majesty

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
one gratefully receives your good wishes

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Happy Birthday!

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:55, Reply)
cheers!

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Happy birthday my darling, welcome to the half way point, the hard stuff is done, it's just enjoyment from now on =)

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)
thanks
i only get to live to 70?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Happy Birthday
May the blessings of Thr''q'q'q'rrrr, mighty magus of the kingdom of Ujbsz'f'f'f', be upon you.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
what? that'll get me killed!

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
By attempting to pronounce it?

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)
She lives in Wales
Water off a duck's back
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
That's long enough for me, I'm not made for old bones.
I'm sure you will live longer, just don't want to spoil the ending.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
no spoilers!

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Boringman
able to bore people to death with pointless trivia and statistics. With the ability to quote entire films and remember everything he has read on Wikipedia and Snopes he will use this power to constantly make people feel small when they believe conspiracies and urban legends.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
You called?

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)
This sounds like Wooks

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Hey you
I can't remember if I asked - how long do they actually record HIGNFY for?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
QI was about 2.5 hours
I would imagine it's about the same.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)
If I had a superpower it would be the ability to get rid of sticky marks with just the blink of an eye
I estimate this would save me approximately a million hours in cleaning.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Does that include unsavoury stains?
If so, sign me up! Incontinence is a dreadful curse.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
unsavory?
does that make your poo sweet?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Get Gonz a new wank sock

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
OK - get ready for... Gentle-Man!!!
He has the power to turn things into tweed, and can appear at will in private members' clubs in Mayfair (to make a five-guinea wager about that latest hot-air ballooning craze) only to vanish again and re-emerge on a grouse shoot in the Highlands. Accessories include a never-ending hip flask of breandeh, and a dagger-cane made by master Japanese swordsmiths.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Well I think he sounds excellent.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Needs MOAR monocle

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I'll be honest, the sword cane is a bit John Steed.
And John Steed was a great big prancing woofter.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
My father used to own one.
Are you calling him a woofter as well? His three marriages suggest otherwise.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Beards

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Only the second wife had a beard.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
+ balls

(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
He married at least one lesbian
the signs are all there.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
A lot of heroes have a customised car, Monty.
Is Gentle-Man the youngish, raffish sort who owns a Jag, or the older, cerebral type who prefers a Bentley?
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
E type, all the way
That and a raised eyebrow
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Certainly not.
He simply has a fucking hansom cab on standby.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Well, he sounds top hole!
And a jolly decent sort of cove.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

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