Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I once pretended to believe in God in order to sleep with a female lady girlWhat low depths have you sunk to in order to sleep with another human being.
Alt. Who is the biggest cunt in the music industry not including the obvious like Bono and Cowell and why?
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:45,
196 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Hahahahahahahahahaha geniusHe really is the 'lowest of the 'low.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:49,
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It is lucky when you find something that answers two concurrent questions.(
girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:50,
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The papers missed a trick if, when Barlow's announced the birth of his kids,they didn't have 'a new 'low' as the headline.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:52,
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I'm not guilty of any low antics like that.. I've never pursued anyone in my life.Alt: that awful fucking padraig who owns the Mean Fiddler group is a massive cunt. Vince Power.
As for David Jones, pop chamaeleon and serial spastic, my judgement is well documented.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:51,
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Because they all come flocking to you don't they Monty.(
girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:52,
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Sufficient numbers for me never to have had to go looking, it seems.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:53,
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I'm not at all keen on me either.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:58,
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Then I feel sorry for you, chasing someone can be a great thrill. Donno what it's like to catch them after though.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:57,
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You need to run faster Gonz(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:59,
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Can I amend my statement to being chased with a net by someone who I might actually be attracted to?(
girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:23,
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I once chatted a girl up in a club thinking she was someone else completelyThe next week I chatted up the one I thought she was.
Alt:
J Lo
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:52,
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Alt: Ringo Starr is a very real contender, with peace and love.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:54,
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Ringo entertains me, just like McCartneyThey obviously took just a bit too much stuff in the 60s and stayed there mentally
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:56,
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Ringo's 'peace and love' message to his fans is the music equivalent to Giles Coren's 'nosh' rant.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:57,
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And Thomas the Tank Engine was shit too.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:58,
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There is another scouse who narrates Thomaswho sounds exactly like Ringo
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:59,
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My money would be on Tarby or Cilla.'Cos they all sound the same innit.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:59,
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I see he has made peace with Liverpool againI bet the scousers were SO relieved at this.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:58,
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I once pretended to believe in God in order to get out of sleeping with someoneDoes that count?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:01,
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I was on the phone to a friend, she was thereWe spoke over the phone quite a lot, arranged to meet up, and she was an absolute monster. I told her I'd become a born again Christian, and so I couldn't cheat on my girlfriend.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:14,
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Because non-Christians are all so willing to cheat on their partners(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:16,
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Labs! Labs!Aesthetic Perfection are opening on Wednesday! Aesthetic Perfection, Labs!
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Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:19,
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Really?But my mate's band 'Dead Filmstars' is also supporting. Are there four acts, or did Mortiis pull out?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20,
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Dear sweet Christ I hope he pulled out.Can you imagine the results if he succesfully impregnated someone? It'd be the End Times.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Oh, that's weird - Mortiis are still on all the advertising along with APCould be that said posters are well out of date. Either way we need to get there for the start. You've got your tickets, do you know what time doors are?
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)
They're at home, will check this eveningShould be around 7:30-ish I expect.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:27,
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I assumed as muchWhat was the name of that pub I should aim to find beforehand?
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
The Thalidomide Arms.It's really small and a bit useless, but they mean well.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:34,
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You'd totally call a pub that if you owned one, wouldn't youI'd call mine the Go-Go-Gadget Arms
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)
The Robin's Well I think(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:38,
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CheersI'll gaz you my number but otherwise I'll be aiming to get there between 6.30 and 7
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)
I aim to get there around 7Though I'm getting the car looked at tomorrow (indicators playing up). Should all be good though.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:58,
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What time do the back doors open?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:38,
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It's because, without a religious framework to start from, you can't possibly have any sort of morality.Duh.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
That works.I did the same thing with a half-crazed american girl. Only the difference being, I told her I was gay.
Worryingly, she believed me.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I asked her to marry me.Justin Bieber. He represents a good portion of what is wrong with society.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
I thought I was in love.Time definitely told on that one, and in retrospect, it truly was a lucky escape.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
So this girl was so religious as to be unwilling to shag an atheistbut insufficiently well-versed in the teachings of the Bible as to ignore the whole "no sex before marriage" thing?
I know it's not as black and white as that really, but the hardline religious mentalist girls I know wouldn't give it up unless you put a ring on it.
Not that I tried, I have no such sordid tales to tell.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)
No, it just sort of happened I really liked her and we were getting it on and she said something about believing in an invisible sky wizard and I sort of said "me too". It was less about her saying "I won't fuck you if you're an atheist" and more me trying to be everything she wanted me to be in order to get a shag. To be fair she was very hot.
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:19,
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Fair enoughOn the one hand you took advantage of a hot girl's gross naivete, on the other hand god-botherers are beyond help
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)
The Bible can go fuck itself.Anyone who takes the Bible word for word would be in quite a bit of trouble now.
Here's a rather entertainingly stupid post from Spikeypickle, in which he questions certain verses in the Bible, worth a read.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20,
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Oh Hai montyTalking of music, the 1234 festival next weekend do you think this is "awesome" or "a pile of shit"?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:09,
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ProbablyBut my incredibly fit friend has told me I have to go. So I'm going.
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:12,
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I would. I do everything incredibly fit people tell me to do.(
girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:13,
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Make me a cup of coffee, eh?*Worries I'll be waiting a while*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:15,
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I am feeling very well thanks.I didn't have a vintage nights sleep, but that was down to the heat and hayfever. But I'm not feeling too bad at all today.
How are you?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:18,
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Very tired.I didn't sleep well and woke at 5am. Other than that I'm not too shabby. Feeling quite positive for a change. Have a couple of fun weekends coming up and lost a bit of weight as I've been off my food.
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girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20,
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Lovin' the sig!Glad to hear you're feeling all positive. I'm sure I can knock that out of you.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:21,
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It does mean I'll ahve to miss a friends hen do.Does this make me a bad person putting incredibly fit friend who is also one of my best friends who I haven't seen for years and years above going horse riding at 730am ON A SUNDAY
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20,
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Hiya.I've been to a couple of them. To be honest it's not great, but it's a nice thing to take a kid to, and if the weather's nice it's pleasant enough.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:21,
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ugh are there going to be kids there?fucking hate the little screaming shits
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:33,
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Alt: Miley Cyrus.Actually no, scratch that. Billy Ray Cyrus for encouraging her attempts at singing.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Does she sing?all I can see are teeeeeeeth
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:14,
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and questionable actions - she did that whole pole dancing thing too.She's just wrong.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
She just sounds like a normal teenager fucking up now and then.(
girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20,
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yeah but seriously, mostly teenagers don't have a dad who encourages them to sing internationally do they?I dunno. I've just never really liked her at all.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I have to say, I was an insufferable twat as a teenageryou know, like most teenagers are. I cringe at the thought of more people knowing about what an arse I made of myself. Can you imagine the whole world watching you be seventeen? Ugh.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:24,
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I liked her a lot more when I saw her smoking a bong.Chicks smoking bongs are coool. She can smoke my bong any day*
*she can't really
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:25,
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I have never resorted to anything other than throwing myself at someone.Unfortunately for me, no-one ever wanted to take me up on my offer until it was too late.
*sadfaces*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:20,
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I read that as 'throwing up on someone'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:24,
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Its alrightI read "no-one ever wanted to take me up on my offer until it was too late." as "no-one ever wanted to take me up the arse until it was too late."
I'm beyond help
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:33,
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I think we need to start some kind of online mutual support group.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:36,
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Do I have to believe in a higher powerThat why I could never be a mason or go to Alcoholics Anonymous, that and they're cunts
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:38,
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At least you tried.I spent most of my life being too scared to even try.
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girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:25,
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Oh, that only came of the desperation of being unloved and unwanted for so long.I spent most of my school years just moonig over boys froma distance.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:26,
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You and Darth are so alike(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:32,
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Maybe if you'd have mooned at them a bit closer someone would have dived straight in.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:32,
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Alt: The Gallaghers for the gaping, festering wound they tore in British musicA wound they proceeded to fill with an absolute deluge of shite for over a decade. I absolutely blame them for the horror of Cast
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Not as many as you, I'll be bound.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:36,
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Nothing wrong with AC-DC.Besides, it could be quite the journey, as long as I don't stop believing.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:38, Reply)
I hate the guy's voiceand the paedo guitarist look
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:45,
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I'm not getting this one Jeffshow your working
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:46,
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AC/DC have one decent songWhich they have replicated many, many times
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
And the fact that 'Back In Black' is one of the top selling albums of all times means what, exactly?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:43,
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You're not seriously going to use the "they were popular so they must be good" argument Not in a subthread which started with Oasis?
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Not even in the same leagueAC-DC have sold more than double the albums Oasis ever will.
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:49,
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Many people have bought Bowie albumsDoesn't mean they are any good, just that people are fucking stupid
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:50,
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I presume people buy things because they like themnot because they are necessarily good. No accounting for popularity. However to call AC-DC shite means all your opinions on anything ever are invalid. Even if I agree.
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:53,
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Opinions are like arseholesI personally cannot stand them. Each to their own innit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:55,
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Mind you, so has Elton John.And probably a load of horrendous country and western acts we've never even heard of...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:50,
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Oasis aren't in the same league as them eitherOasis raped my dog
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:52,
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Oasis are the worst band of all timeNot just for the staggeringly poor music they produced themselves, but for the massively detrimental effect they had on British musical output.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)
Yes, whilst listening to Oasis.*Slide away*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:57,
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AgreedBut it all falls under the same bracket. Popularity is no indication of quality. You'll notice Monty didn't cite this argument, because he knows Dark Side of the Moon shifted a few units too.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:53, Reply)
AC-DC are still fucking ace though LEAVE AC-DC ALONE! And anyway I haven't made a gay joke OR a hair joke towards you for ages, don't make me start!
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:55,
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High sales usually indicate an absence of quality rather than the other way round.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:57,
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It's an anomaly.But then you think about the sales Led Zeppelin and The Who have had - every now and then the populace 'gets' someone decent...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:13,
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ThereforeAC/DC are worse than Michael Jackson
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:47,
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:50,
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cf Motorhead, The Ramones and many other excellent bands.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:46,
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That's one more than CombiChrist have.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:47,
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No it's just you - turn off your stereo, that'll sort it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:51,
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Darth, justWalk away, walk away, walk away.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:22,
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A Finetime to post this, dont you think?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:37,
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Travis were worseWhy does it always rain on me? A. Because you come from Scotland.
Also
Sing sing sing sing sing x10000 and turn turn turn turn turn x99999999
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:39,
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and side side side side(which I like actually)
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:43,
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I once pretended I had no standards whatsoever in order to sleep with a womanAlt: Whoever chairs the Radio One playlist meetings or their 'next big thing' committee. You can sure the choice of 'next big thing' gets more regular airtime than the half hourly news bulletins.
At the other end of the spectrum I watched this great documentary last night about Rosetta Tharpe. With what she achieved it really pissed me off that I hadn't heard of her before.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:46,
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Firstly, let me just say, I DO NOT LIKE ZANE LOWE, I DO NOT LIKE ZANE LOWE, I'VE NEVER LIKED ZANE LOWEBut he did sod all wrong yesterday. Whether he likes QOTSA more than Beyonce is irrelevany, he sniggered and baled in the face of Lauren Laverne's ridiculous desperate justifying-the-Beyonce-coverage ramblings.
SHE COMPARED BEYONCE TO GEORGE CLINTON.
What's a man to do?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:50,
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Zane Lowe is a prickHe talks to hear himself talk and has fuck all to say
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:52,
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I am told he's actually a sound and knowledgable man.Albeit an irritating one.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:52,
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I put it to you that you have been ill informed(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:53,
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My pal who told me thiswas actually disappointed to be telling me it. He's assumed (as we all do) that he was going to be a cunt but sadly not.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:55,
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I have felt that way toward him on occasiondespite a younger Roota once emailing MTV and telling them to get 'that vowel-less cunt' off air ASAP.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:56,
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That's the perfect comparison.I wouldn't go on holiday with the man but he knows what he's on about.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:59,
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I was in a club once when he DJ'dA finer selection of tunes I don't think I've had the pleasure of hearing since.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:01,
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Don't worry Jeff, it's only three months til my bash.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:02,
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This gives me 3 months to win the national lottery so I can buy you your outfit.*Note. Think about buying a ticket*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:03,
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I agree with you, but watch the footage.What would you have done? It was shit presenting, she left him about two seconds to respond to a gig he hadn't seen and her BIZARRE monologue that was the journalistic equivalent of a pilchard trying to swim up a bin chute.
She was the one filling air time. he was saying fuck all.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:55,
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So are those Conchords chappies, and they're alright.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:55,
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And my best mate's boyfriend.He was lovely.
I retract my statement.
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girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:57,
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Zane Lowe is easily the most bearable person associated with Radio 1and he always sounds like he knows what he's talking about
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)
Monty and I are in agreement about something to do with musicTherefore it is either unarguably true, or Vippers has nicked Monty's login.
Or he's taking the piss.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)
I don't like his personality or the music he playsbut he knows his stuff.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:00,
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Bit like WestwoodHe might be one of the most annoying people in the world, but he did a shit load for UK hip hop and knows what he's talking about.
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Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:04,
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And he got shot.Which was funny as fuck.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:05,
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People who slag Westwood off are ignorant fools.He's an utter knob, but for the sheer hard work he did in the 80s (not to mention the fact that he produced the London Posse's 'Money Mad' - to date the best British hip hop record of all time) he deserves huge, huge credit. His job is to play the latest popular hip hop records - it's not his fault they're all shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:10,
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I love on Pimp My Ride UK when they put some CGI plasma ball stuff between his hands like he's making lightning and then there's five of him. One on the wall, one standing up, one sitting on the roadsign, etc.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:13,
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I genuinely enjoy his show, although it's hard to know how much he's sending himself up these daysA while ago he was effectively forced to play a dubstep tune and started out trying to big it up, but ended up mumbling about how it as a genre was dull and unimaginative. Cracked me up.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Sorry, what was that Montysomeone who slags someone or something off because they think they are a cunt/"fucking shit" is an ignorant fool?
Is that what you just wrote? Only I couldn't quite see because the klaxons and flashing lights that are going off on my hypocrisy-o-meter are distracting me.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I've never tricked anybody into bed, never had to.Women aren't tripping over themselves to get to me, but I do get enough attention that a bit of low-range flirting generally does the trick.
I dunno, Malcolm McLaren.
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Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:22,
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