Best lyrics ever
Impress us all by recounting your favouritest lyrics of all time. Bonus points will be given to anyone who manages to do this without looking like an emo tool.

Alt: Much easier for all concerned; worst lyrics of all time.

Alt alt: Apart from the aforementioned Blackwood tour de force, what is actually the best song of all time? My vote goes to Faith No More's "Digging The Grave", as you're asking.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:02, 214 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Serious as cancer
For best and worst
( Peej, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I should know where this is from
but I don't
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Rhythm is a Dancer.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Of course!
How could I forget the mighty Rhythm is a Dancer.

No, seriously, how? I'd really like to.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)

fuck you
Snap are fucking awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

That's as maybe, I honestly can't remember anything else they did
That song comes into the category of stuff I've heard quite enough for one lifetime, however.

See also Killing in the Name and everything by Oasis.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

The Power
Oops Up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Ah, you've got me there
Can't fault The Power. The H-Blockx cover of it always goes down a storm at Rawkus.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)

The Power

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It's a shameless ripoff of...errr.....The Power by Chill Rob G

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Beer helps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Rhythm is a dancer.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Missis Burke to her daughter said, "Listen, Mary Jane, .
Now who was the man you were cuddling in the lane?
He'd long wiry whiskers all hanging from his chin."
"Twas only Pat McGinty's goat, " she answer'd with a grin.

Then she went away from the village in disgrace,
She came back with powder and paint upon her face.
She'd rings on her fingers, and she wore a sable coat,
You bet your life they never came from Paddy McGinty's goat.
( Peej, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I have had one line rattling round my head since I got my job
"...guess who just threw up when he learnt that he grew up"

alt: that one about ghosts and toast or that one about going to the year 3000, not much has changed but we live under water. And your great great great grand daughter is pretty fine.

Assuming that in 4 generations we don't suddenly live for 100s of years and breed really late, said great great great grand daughter is gonna be REALLY FUCKING OLD.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Yeah that always annoyed me too
Based on the average age at which people procreate, your great great great granddaughter is going to be of the "pretty fine" vintage in about 2150.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

It was the biggest cock you'd ever seen and you've no idea where that cock has been.
Alt- anything written by Anthony Kiedis.

Alt alt- By The Time I Get to Phoenix, Atrocity Exhibition, Sabotage or Where's Me Jumper?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)

You're just trying to goad Monty aren't you?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)

No. Why would I do that?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Because it's funny watching him seethe with incandescent rage at how anyone could possibly have different tastes in music to him?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

but I am just like that too.
Go on, ask me about Bendulum.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)

What's this about Bendulum?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Best not.
Just pop on over to dogsonacid for junglistlols.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)

That was very restrained of you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

thanks bbz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Why did the lion get lost?

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

you wot?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Because junglist massive

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

because junglist MASSIVE!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

but lions are not native to jungle environments.
They live on plains. Shit joke is shit. Maybe the feed line could involve baboons, parrots or tigers.

But not lions.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

what about Gir lions?
eh?

what about them!?

also: fuck you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

FILM FACT
Disney's The Lion King was originally going to be called King of the Jungle until someone pointed out that lions don't live in jungles.

FILM FACT ENDS
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:40, Reply)

that person was ME.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

the personification of Myalgic Encephalopathy?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

^this is a superb post which deserves high praise

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:49, Reply)

why thank you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Doubtful mate
I don't think Disney corp were in the habit of employing 13-year-old Scots lads as creative consultants at the time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:51, Reply)

you found me out.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Hmmmm
Best Lyrics: Pearl Jam - Given To Fly. Very uplifting, like a Wonderbra for the soul.

Worst Lyrics: Mrs Cow has just bought the Just Dance for the Wii. Pretty much every song on there has truly awful lyrics. I will pick the Beach Boys - I Get Around as truly terrible lyrics as they sound really dated now (though the song is class)

Alt Alt:
This changes all the time. I'm siding with Foo Fighters - Everlong at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)

You've just reminded me.
Worst lyric ever: That god awful Beach Boys Christmas number, containing the immortal line "Christmas comes this time each year". NO FUCKING SHIT, BRIAN.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

he was too bsuy thinking
"mmmmm, lovely money"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

He's still an awful cunt for coming up with that line though.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Whilst we're on the subject of shit lyrics in Christmas songs
if a choir turned up on my doorstep and stood there singing "ding dong ding dong ding dong dong dong dong ding", I'd set them on fire and then do a piss just in front of them.

Paul McCartney is also a cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)

'Foo Fighters discography - Overlong', more like!!!!!!!11!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I agree with your alt alt

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Have you seen the performance on /links or the kids doing 'Everlong'?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:08, Reply)

all around my hat, I will wear the green willow
and all around my hat, for one year and a day
and if anyone should ask me
the reason why I'm wearing it
it's all for my true love
who is far, far away

gotta love a bit of steeleye span
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)

i thought it was 10 years
also we sung it as

"all around my hat
I will wear the green willow
and all around my hat for 10 years and a day
and if anyone should ask me the reason why I'm wearing it
Well it's my fucking willow
and it's my fucking hat"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

it's either one year, or twelve months
unless later in the song it says ten years, but I don't care. Steeleye Span are fucking shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

perhaps it was 12 months
I don't know, I'm usually drunk when I sing it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

worst lyrics are Elevation by U2
fucking shite
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

You fucking what?
A mole! Digging in a hole! Something something soul!

GENIUS, mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I love the Vertigo/Birmingham thing on here that someone did ages ago

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Newport State of Mind is quite amusing too

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I went to newport the other day
it was depressing - even compared to swansea. Every shop seemed to be boarded up and not just to stop people kicking the windows in
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Ah, but,
if there was anything to do in Newport except take drugs and burn things, we wouldn't have been blessed with the genius of Goldie Lookin Chain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Buck Rogers by Feeder
contains the most offensively nonsensical lyrics on Earth. Fact.
( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I was extremely pleased when their drummer did a suicide.
But was then devastated when they carried on.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:17, Reply)

He's got a brand new rope
etc.
( Peej, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:17, Reply)

God yes
"But I don't want to talk about it any more" - you brought it up!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Best
Bike by Pink Floyd
( Peej, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I don't know why I call him Gerald

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Fly Away by Lenny Kravitz has got to be up there with the worst
As has - and I know I say this a lot - anything by Oasis
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I quite like Fly Away
Good guitar solo - one note!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

But the LYRICS, Sporters.
If you were to attempt to quantify the amount of imagination that went into them in terms of a sexual practice, it would be a dead-eyed man rhythmically sliding it in and out of a spectacuarly disinterested blow-up sex doll in the missionary position
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Anything by White Snake
or Def Leppard.

I fucking loathe Def Leppard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)

CLICK
Now let's get the rock out of here.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I suppose a rock's out of the question?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Not for you, darling

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Def Leppard, the good Led Zeppelin.

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Marillion were awesome.

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:25, Reply)

welcome to 1988.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Woo hoo, I've just been born!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Fucking disabled cunts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Their drummers harmless though
( Peej, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Easy mate!
Here I go, deep type flow
Jacque Cousteau could never get this low..
I'm cherry bombing shits... BOOM
Just warming up a little bit, vroom vroom
Rappinin is what's happening
Keep the pockets stacked and then, hands clapping and
At the party when I move my body
Gotta get up, and be somebody!
Grab the microphone go straight to the phone
DUH-DUH-DUH...enter the Wu-Tang zone
Sure enough when I rock that stuff
Guff puff? I'm gonna catch your bluff tough
rough, kicking rhymes like Jim Kelly
or Alex Haley I'm a Mi-..Beetle Bailey rhymes
coming raw style, hardcore
Niggas be coming to the hip-hop store
Coming to buy grocery from me
Trying to be a hip-hop MC
The law, in order to enter the Wu-Tang
You must bring the Ol' Dirty Bastard type slang
Represent the GZA, Abbott, RZA, Shaquan, Inspectah Deck
Dirty Hoe getting low with his flow
Introducing, the Ghost..face.. Killer!!
No one could get iller
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I want to read this out at a poetry gig
in a really pretentious voice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Do it in Harlem

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

What the fuck is that shit?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

best lyrics ever. Wu Tang, Mystery of Chessboxin

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

It's fucking bollocks is what it is.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

what's crawled up your arse?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Nothing, it's just shit. In my humble opinion, of course.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Oh well , that's fine then.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I mean, 'Rappinin is what's happening.'
He's just made up a word to get it to rhyme with 'happening', except it doesn't quite scan because he took the 'g' off 'rappinin'. Or maybe you did that by mistake.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

No that's how he rolled.
you should listen to the whole track before you judge. It's ace.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Not really into that sort of stuff, I'm afraid.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:40, Reply)

don't be afraid, be adventurous.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

It's a fucking tune, off a superb record.
ODB's 'Brooklyn Zoo' has superior lyrics, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Ironic, eh
I mean that ODB could write. At all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Whether or not it's a musical arrangement that you can copulate to or not
it still sounds like shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

He rolled like an illiterate oik?

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:45, Reply)

That's what I thought.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:49, Reply)

It's Bobby
Play nice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

No.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

pipe down susan, don't you have some washing to do or something.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

I have actually

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

well run along then.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

run skip
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

"Repetition, repetition, repetition"
Repetition - The Fall
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Culture Club: The War Song
There's not been a world war since it was released and therefore it's the most important song ever made.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

War, war is stupid
And people are stupid

Not much arguing with that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Can't think of any best lyrics, as it's all subjective.
Worst lyrics- anything by the Venga Boys.

FUCK OFF.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

My favourite line comes from 'Nadine' by Chuck Berry
"I was campaign shouting like a Southern diplomat".

EDIT: I don't know what happened there. I meant to reply to the original question, not your reply.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Good old Uncle Chuck

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

and cousin Marvin

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I love that bit in BttF where I invent rock'n'roll

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I like that bit in BttF2
when everyone who knows the first film goes "That's where he is at the moment, right, but he's also THERE"
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

God b3th you're so into film

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I so am.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Best - anything by the mighty GLC
Most notably "His teaching style is more than just particular and if he likes your bits then he'll get extracurricular" from Charmschool.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

sweets don't kill people, wrappers do
*gets coat*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Get your... oh

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)

"Yeah it's the truth man, his mother have actually got a penis."

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Best lyrics? Alabama 3
Last train to Mashville girl, you got on board
Packed up your medicines, left without a word
Now you're strung out in Suburbia, waiting for that call
You just chill out by yourself behind closed doors

You lost the plot again, where you are ain't clear
It's a misty morning memory, the road that brought you here
Special K keeps the chills away in your broken basement room
Staring at the wall, sharin' your needle and spoon

And you don't dance to Techno anymore
I don't see you under the strobe light on the dance floor
It's been awhile since I saw your ultraviolet smile
And you don't dance to Techno anymore
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I am finding it almost impossible to answer any of these.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)

You don't have a favourite song?
Not even a top five?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I could possibly do a top 50.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Go on then
If you could perhaps expunge nos 6 through 50 for the sake of brevity...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

It would have to be a top 50 spread across several genres, all with similar or equal footing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I see
Top ten rock/punk/metal songs, for the sake of my having heard of some of them?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Hmmmmmm
Top ten punk:
Chinese Rocks: The Heartbreakers
Born to Lose: also Heartbreakers
Jet Boy: New York Dolls
Formaldehyde: Bad Brains
Liar: Sex Pistols
Chainsaw: Ramones
Neat Neat Neat: Damned
Little Johnny Jewel: Television (barely punk)
Search & Destroy: Iggy and the Stooges
White Riot: The Clash - a great punk tune, and their only one
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:59, Reply)

you forgot
Rise Above, Holiday in Cambodia and Minor Threat.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Straight Edge? Bent edge more like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Top ten rock:
Rock Candy: Montrose
Hair of the Dog: Nazareth
Good Times Bad Times: Led Zeppelin
La Grange: ZZ Top
Freelance Fiend: Leaf Hound
Big Beat: Billy Squier
Mississippi Queen: Mountain
Fire and Water: Free
Voodoo Child: Slight Return : Jimi Hendrix
Super Stupid: Funkadelic
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Thank you for this, by the way
I'm off to look some of these up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:13, Reply)

My pleasure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

If you did this for every genre
and we all made CD's it would be one hell of a box set.

Now That's What Monty Calls Music!
( Peej, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I'll admit, I've never even heard of three of these bands.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:31, Reply)

'Metal' I think is fucking gay.
Black Sabbath are brilliant but you can shove your Iron Maidens, your Megadeths, your fucking whatevers up your arse: it's a silly genre for spotty Pratchett readers with no girlfriends.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

In the interests of equality...
One: Metallica
Raining Blood: Slayer
Mouth For War: Pantera
Sweet Leaf: Black Sabbath
Blood and Thunder: Mastodon
In My Darkest Hour: Megadeth
Refuse/Resist: Sepultura
Bring The Noise: Anthrax
Savior: Rise Against
Master of Puppets: Metallica again

Apologies for obvious choices, very much top of my head
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Ever heard 'Sweat Loaf' by the Butthole Surfers?
That is a superb cover version.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I have not
That goes on the list, cheers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:14, Reply)

It's properly insane.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:15, Reply)

It really is.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Sorry mate, but you're wrong here.
Mouth For War Hollow/5 Minutes Alone/Walk/Cemetery Gates

And would you really class Rise Against as metal? I'd say they're closer to punk.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:12, Reply)

That's a stretch, I'll admit
Crowbarred in for being one of my favourite songs currently.

I'll give you Cemetary Gates but Mouth For War trumps the rest. I have heard Walk too many times now though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I can understand about Walk
And I'm currently extremely ashamed of myself I didn't even write Cowboys From Hell.

Rise Against are excellent, I agree.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:15, Reply)

I listened to Cemetary Gates the other day
and it refreshed my opinion that while Pantera had their moments, and Dimebag was pretty good, they are on the whole quite gay.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I saw them once - they were indeed quite gay.
cf Sepultura. Gaylords.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:24, Reply)

as a big fan of Metallica
I can recognise that they are bent, whiny, money grabbing shitheads, and yet they still produced significantly less gay music than Pantera
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:25, Reply)

'Pant-tearer', more like!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Must disagree with you most fervently here sir
Pantera were the finest metal band of the 90s, for my money. Please note I do not consider Tool, Korn or NIN to be "metal".
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Also producing one of the finest albums, with Vulgar Display Of Power.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I thought it might get to you
They're just a band I've never been in to and revisiting them now does nothing for me. Unlike Slayer who I like far more now than I ever did before.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I tend to go the other way with Slayer
They are obviously exceptional, and their performances live are astonishing. But that doesn't stop me from getting quite bored, quite quickly with them.

Hearing Tom Araya roaring 'Raining blooooood' is something entirely special though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I actually agree that Pantera don't sound anywhere near as good now as I remember them
but that's because my tastes have moved on. At the time, they were fucking brilliant.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:34, Reply)

they were of a time
it happens with some bands. Some of Pearl Jam's stuff for instance is kind of dated.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Couldn't agree more
Find it hard to believe I ever liked them as much as I did
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Darth Darth Darth
With regard to your best song ever answer, would it be wrong to ask you why?
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Not at all, sir
Faith No More are by far my favourite band and Digging The Grave is my favourite song of theirs.

Or anyone else's.

Today.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Complete and utter fail
What's the first line of that awesome song?

I actually recorded a cover of it when I was learning to use home studio software. That's from my favourite FNM album too :)
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:46, Reply)

The first line is "It would be wrong to ask you why"
/pedantry

Apologies for missing that, I mistook it for a genuine query. On B3TA. There is no hope for me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Yeah, so your answer should have been
It would be wrong to ask me (you) why.

Meh. I fucking love Faith No More too. Saw them twice in 2009.
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Grr
Never saw FNM live. Not once. Was unable to make the reunion gigs.

It still burns.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:57, Reply)

My Top 10
Metallica - Creeping Death
RATM - Testify (has to be played at ear bleeding volume)
Pantera - Cowboys From Hell
Sepultura - Born Stubborn
Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smashed Face
Iron Maiden - Fear Of The Dark (Live version)
Chimaira - Power Trip
Rammstein - Keine Lust
Metallica - One
Behemoth - Ov Fire And The Void

Well, they're my personal favourites (at the moment).
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I disagree, good sir

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:10, Reply)

So am I.
I can't pin it down to any one lyric or song. It's too difficult.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

In terms of bad lyrics, the point is more to share awful ones
than to isolate the worst ever.

Y'know, for lols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I already have done, earlier in the thread.
It just made me angry.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Oh yeah
Think harder then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Well, the Beatles assertion that they worked eight days a week is clearly bollocks as well.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Good point
Also, how hard does a dog really work?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Not very.
Unless it's a sniffer or police dog, I guess.

"And when I get home to you, I find the things that you do, make me feel alright".

Alright? ALFUCKINGRIGHT? You ungrateful fucking cockmunch, I put my heart and soul into that blowie, even swallowed, and that's the best summation of my efforts you can come up with? Is what I imagine Yoko and Linda must have been thinking.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I think Yoko spent most of her time thinking
"Is it possible to spin out a singing career for myself over twenty-odd years, despite a complete lack of musical talent and a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle, just off the back of shagging a Beatle?"

Have a click, by the way, genuine officelol
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I'd rather listen to Ono than 'Imagine'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Overrated, no question
But Ono? Really?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I'd rather listen to Agadoo repeatedly for three whole days and nights than the first four bars of 'Imagine'
When I hear it - or worse, see that fucking bent video he made for it, I 'imagine' stuff alright. Stuff involving torture, mainly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Go on...

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I may have recommended the A Perfect Circle version of Imagine before
(I know I have)

it's significantly better than the original
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Yes it is, it's excellent
and I have you to thank for the recommendation
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Once or twice*


*once or twice a week
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:18, Reply)

However, I might have to concede that the Macc Lads 'Fat Bastard'
is possibly the best spoof song ever.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:41, Reply)

As usual:
Well, I've been to Hastings and I've been to Brighton
I've been to Eastbourne too
So what, so what
And I've been here, I've been there
I've been every fucking where
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little cunt

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you

Well, I've fucked the queen, I've fucked Bach
I've even sucked an old man's cock
So what, so what
And I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat
I rammed my cock right down its throat
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you

And I've drunk that, I've drunk this
I've spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what
I've had skag, I've had speed
I've jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little cunt

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you

A-hahaha!

Yeah!

I've had crabs, I've had lice
I've had the clap and that ain't nice
So what, so what
I've fucked this, I've fucked that
I've even fucked a school girl's twat
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you

So fucking what!
Yeah
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Yeah? Well...
I've been to Nice, and the isles of Greece, and I've sipped chapagne on a yacht. Moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo, and showed them what I got. I've been undressed by kings, and i've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see. I've been to paradise.

But I've never been to me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:41, Reply)

God, that really was sickening bollocks wasn't it?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I wish I hadn't written that
cos I've got it stuck in my fucking head now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:44, Reply)

ANL are supporting Motorhead this November, as are UK subs if you fancy it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Anti Nowhere League are still going?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:45, Reply)

reformed, I suspect

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Old punks never die
They just run out of money
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:48, Reply)

and start advertising butter.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Eurgh
Thanks to a post of yours on the popular page I am now picturing John Lydon participating in a seminal scene from Last Tango In Paris
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

:-D

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:56, Reply)

you will all find that the following lyrics are the best ever
I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
Oh, my daddy he once told me, "Son, you be hard working man"
My mama she once told me, "Son, you do the best you can"
But then one day I met a man who came to me and said
"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"

So now,
I smoke two joints when I get up, in the car I smoke two joints
I smoke two joints when I play video game?And at every ten thousand points
(I smoke two joints)
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Sublime?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

The Toyes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Apologies
Don't Sublime have a tune called Smoke Two Joints?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:44, Reply)

yeah, they covered it
and inexplicably missed out the best lyrics
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:45, Reply)

That was dumb of them
Maybe they were stoned?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)

more than likely something harder
the morons.

I love Sublime, but the guy was a dumbass
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:49, Reply)

You mean the guy who did drugs to death?
No question
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Is this your band's song about superman being a stoner?

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:40, Reply)

it is not
that has such glorious lyrics as:
I looked at the table full of loads of weed
I set it on fire with my glowing red laser beams

I should reiterate that no thought goes into the lyrics of our songs. Our singer pretty much freestyles everything.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Poetry

( Kroney, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Poo-etry more like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)

"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"
"Unless of course you suffer from psychotic tendencies and delusional paranoia, in which case best not, eh?"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Pretend I replied to all of you with "who sung this?"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:46, Reply)

I love pretty much all the album "Angles" by Dan Le Sac and Scroob Pip.
Most of the lyrics are really inspired, really really good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Isn't that by Robbie Williams?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Hit me your rhythm stick, hit me, hit me
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, hit me, hit me, hit me
Hit me with your rhythm stick
Hit me slowly, hit me quick
Hit me, hit me, hit me
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Mmm, earthy.
/ac
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:01, Reply)

The first lyrics that come to mind for my favourite -
I like to rap a lot so permit me to rap a little
My name is Abdominal I'll make you laugh and giggle
Just like a little schoolgirl when I'm touching the mic
Me and a crap rapper? Nothing alike
Cos they crap, and I'm not
Could you demonstrate? Why not
Let me take this little opportunity so soon you'll see
How you and me be different when it comes to fluency
The crowd be rooting me and booing thee
First to hit 3 lines that you be polluting the
Atmosphere with, you'll get subjected to scrutiny
Stupidly oblivious to the soon-to-be mutiny on the
Part of the crowd,,eventually even your crew will be like
"Abdominal is pretty damn good"
DJ Format - Vicious Battle Raps (Feat. Abdominal)

Alt: There can be none other but this shite -
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news.
Des'ree - Life

Alt Alt: American Pie is still fantastic (not Madonna's version, she can get tae fuck). As is Knights In White Satin, Carry On Wayward Son, Itchycoo Park, Unchained Melody, You'll Never Walk Alone (oh come on, is this really a shock?) and so many others.

For arguments sake, my favourite song ever is probably Metallica - Creeping Death.

Currently, however, my favourite song is Sylosis - Last Remaining Light.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:07, Reply)

I hate all 94 verses of American Pie so very, very much.
Sentimental gay shit that goes on for about an hour - no thanks 'Don'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Not even a name drop?
For shame Montague, for shame.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I'm acutely aware that it looks like I think naming artists etc that I've met or know is somehow 'cool'
but on the whole I'm far from impressed as I don't like their records. I met Kool Herc and Grand Wizard Theodore when they supported the Chemicals and that's the only time I've been properly star-struck.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:22, Reply)

it amuses me that all the famous people you have met are shit ones

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

This also amuses me too.
It is for this very reason that I get a little annoyed when it's suggested that I am naming these idiots because I think people will be 'impressed' in some way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:27, Reply)

In fairness, you do actually know the one I listed well
So it's not quite as contrived as the fact that Vipros' mate once slept with the sister of the bassist(?) from Mumford & Sons.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:29, Reply)

KITTY'S BOYFRIEND KNOWS THE DRUMMER FROM 'JAMES'!!!!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:41, Reply)

the sister is actually a good friend of mine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Gah, damnit!
Couldn't remember.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Haha, fair enough.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Of its time, but still:
He's not smart, a C student

And that's after buying his way into school
Beady eyes, and he's kinda dyslexic
Can he read? No one's really quite sure
He signs stuff and he executes people
Maybe that's why, he doesn't have any friends
Cocaine and a little drunk driving
Doesn't matter, when you're the Commander in Chief.



More lyrics: www.lyricsmania.com/idiot_son_of_an_asshole_lyrics_nofx.html
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Knew I recognised this

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:45, Reply)