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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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TV and online.
I've been dipping into various documentaries on iplayer, but every time I look at the ITV listings my stiff upper lip quivers a little. What do you watch on the teevee? Do you watch stuff online like on iplayer and that too?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:53, 235 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I've given up on the box for well over a year Noel, not even internet cheating for tv neither

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:57, Reply)
I've hardly watched that much TV in the past year since I got the ol' broadband.
If I had a USB-scart converter I'd probably do without my TV licence.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I read that as 'scat converter' at first.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)
I saw a link to that forrin bird who eats shit for cash
Fucking hell, there's easier ways to earn a crust
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Veronica Moser?
A delightful lady if ever there was one.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)
Yeah that's the mucky tart

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Mucky in more sense than one.
I shudder at the memory. Damn my mate and his idea of a prank in an internet pub. Even the bouncers were a bit sickened.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)
I googled her.
Why do I do these things : (
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I have mentioned her several times in the past, Blousie.
You're your own worst enemy.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)
I dunno man, I wonder how much she earns?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)
Most of what I saw was firm stool, you'd imagine being peddledashed get's her extra

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)
I'm betting it's a shit load of cash.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)
I'm enjoying reruns of Batman on ITV4.
Perfect 'disengage your brain' fodder. Except they keep taking it off for coverage of various cycling events.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:57, Reply)
I mean, who wants to watch coverage of a load of lycra-clad blokes and their shiny helmets?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)
Apart from Darth.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)
Shamefully, I quite like the cycling, especially the bigger tours.
How's your shit DG?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)
Haha, shame.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)
Mediocre, Noel.
Mediocre.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)
Bleh, smother it all in chili sauce, that'll sort it.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)
I'm not some kinky bugger like Kroney, thank you very much.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)
I miss Jerry Springer now I don't have Sky TV anymore.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)
BGB!
Did you ever see Jerry Springer: The Musical? It was rather good.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Only a clip on some culture show.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)
I bet you could still see it on youtube though

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:05, Reply)
I very rarely watch anything on ITV.
But iplayer is pretty useful. I have it on the wii too, so I can watch it on the TV.


so, what's pulling you towards ChavTV?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)
The quivering is more a testament to how rubbish commercial TV is these days.
I only really tend to watch BBC, the occasional downloaded series from Sky and Channel 4 but that's about it. ITV seems to pander to muppets, and that's not my thang yo.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:04, Reply)
I very rarely watch the channel of the proles.
It offends my sensibilities too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)
I'm so pleased to say I saw some twat on a mainstream TV show the other week who was billed as a celebrity
and it turned out to be someone from "The Only Way Is Essex". Either I'm getting old, or celebrities are getting shitter.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)
'Celebrities' have been getting shitter since the advent of Maureen from Driving School, mate.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
Ah, Maureen... the first person from the telly I actually wanted to assassinate.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)
She was spectacularly useless.
I'm amazed that she wasn't splashed all over the tabloid front pages for having splashed some poor fucker all over the bonnet of her car within two weeks of passing her test.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
Remember that Sylvania Waters one?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)
No, thankfully.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
I saw that when they all went into 'the house'
Out of however many there were, I would only class one as an actual 'celebrity'.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)
*Standard friend reply*
That's how it works yeah ?
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:04, Reply)
Are we friends now?
Does that mean you're going to stop being a prick to me?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Are we going to have our first official friend falling out?
Don't make me unfriend you...
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)
I'm perfectly happy to be nice to you Rory
but you have to be nice too. It doesn't work otherwise.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
I can't help it b3th, My head says "Hello b3th, I hope that you have a lovely day" but for some reason by the time I click 'post this message' it reads "Haha you mums dead" or something like that
I need some more understanding that's all
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
I assume you have actual friends outside of here
and you must be occasionally 'nice' to them. Just do the same sort of thing here. Specifically, not being a total cunt at every opportunity.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
To be honest if he wasn't as bad as he is we wouldn't look as good as we are.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Here is a question for you all.
How many times a week/month do you exercise or go to the gym?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Recently, fuck all.
Previously, a good walk at least twice a week. I really must get back on that.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)
*Sigh*
l n
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)
TWICE A DAY MORE LIKE

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)
I'm considering joining a gym and I'm wondering if I'll use it often enough to justify the cost.
The chances are, I'd probably go no more than twice a week and if this is unlikely to make any difference to my fitness I won't bother.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)
I only ever hear three things about the gym.
In reverse order of regularity:
1. I joined the gym.
2. I go to the gym fairly regularly.
3. I've spent £640 on the gym in the past 18 months and I've only been once.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
2 for me
mostly it's how nice the swimming pool is.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)
I can pay a bit more and not get tied into a contract, this appeals.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
That depends. Does 'getting up and going to the fridge' count as excercise?
I've started going to a Zumba class once a week, which seems to be doing some good already.

The whole 'running' thing seems quite popular with b3tans, though.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)
Fuck that, I'm the tortoise, not the hare.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)
How is processing old mobile phones and sending someone a cheque exercise?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Silly Jeffrey.
That's Mazuma.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
What is Zumba?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Google is your friend Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)
I don't have any friends, just 2 fans.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)
I've got SIXTEEN

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)
I've got 73.
And that's after a cull of people who no longer post anything.

Oh yeah. *Head bobs*
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)
One of mine is persona non grata

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)
Flinging oneself about wildly to fast-paced music
It's a cross between aerobics, boxercise, and pretending to be Shakira.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)
How much cider do you have before hand?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Ugh.
The first class I went to, I ate far too late before going, and I nearly died. Well, nearly threw up all over the skinny, pretty, young instructor. Who may well have deserved it just for being those three things.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
He's the president of South Africa.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)
'Running'
That's when you press two buttons together on the X-box or something, right..?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
or break your Kempston joystick playing Daley Thompson on the ZX Spectrum.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
that's good exercise for wanking hands I hear

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)
this week, once so far
the aim is three, usually only 2, though
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
Do you feel healthier for it?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
I used to go about 3 or 4 times a week but now it's usually once or twice.
I really should get back into it again. I do it just to stay fit and healthy because losing weight is nigh on impossible now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
Apparantly muscle burns more calories or something
so being fit should help anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
Who knows. I still have this fucking belly : (((

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
You could be worse off
went to the doctors today, turned out that my diet has not only not worked I've gained 3kg.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
I no rite.
*shakes fist at mother nature*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Bloody depressing
luckily my doctor understood that I was upset, and changed my meds to something that might help.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
*shakes fist too*
*bingo wings keep shaking after the fist stops*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
also it has a bar
(not that I can drink there as I have to drive home) but it's a nice place to chill out after work before exercising
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
ride my bike 10 miles 4-5 times a week
costs very little, gets me to work and is more fun than the gym.

be a man, get a bike.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
iplayer
mostly for Dr Who, Torchwood and the ocassional film or documentary. Generally I look at what's on and can't be arsed to watch it. Think I broke my attention span on youtube
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)
I'm ashamed to say the only two tv series
I'm watching at the moment are Next Top Model, and Breaking Bad. Though occasionally I sneer along to an episode of Tool Academy
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
I can thoroughly recommend The Borgias, to anyone who has Sky.
It's a right rollicking romp.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
I keep seeing it advertised
how many seasons are there?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
We're three or four episodes in to the first season.
It's got Jeremy Irons in it, and it's pretty feisty. It's like a cross between Spartacus and The Tudors.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
This is Irons best work
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GF6ouF0AXg
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
I'm guessing...... Playaway?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)
Click on the link.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)
or don't
coz it's play away, innit?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Brian CUNT
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)
I bet he was into some well dirty stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)
He's got Parkinson's now, or something.
It's no great shakes. OR IS IT????
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Parkinsons eh...
Since moving on from kids telly, he now makes a living interviewing people.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Whilst involuntarily hoofing them in the nuts / minge
due to irregular, spasmodic twitching of the foot.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Isn't that Tourettes?
I heard you had that ; )
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)
No, that'll be the wife...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)
Ooh I might torrent that
need a couple of new shows to watch
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Batman Forever is the shittest film in the universe.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Scatman Forever is the shittest film in the universe.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)
Oh fine. Batman Forever is the worst film in the universe.
I didn't realise I had to include special interest media in that statement. I suppose technically it makes sense.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
You were never taken to see Condorman as a child were you?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Not, but it sounds legendary

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)
I'd imagine Michael Crawford leaves this off his CV
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo5LZmx9Vrg
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)
It's got Frank Spencer in it.
And it's shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)
*googles*
dear god.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I've not seen Batman Forever, but I can't imagine it was that bad.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)
No, that would be Batman and Robin.
Jesus, that was a rank film.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)
Ran down the motorway, car came the other way...
FLATMAN!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
I managed to watch five minutes
before switching over to a Top Gear that I've only seen five times before.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Batman and Robin
makes Batman Forever look like a masterpiece in dark, gothic, comic book chic. Trust me on this.

Jim Carrey is intensely annoying in it, though, I'll grant you.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)
"Your entrance was good. His was better."
"Fuck you, bitch! I'm the fucking Batman!"
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Jim Carrey is intensely annoying in most things.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)
I heard he was just doing a Tom Cruise spazzy love declaration thing.
Can anyone summarise for me?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)
"Hello, I'm Jim Carrey."
"Look at my annoying bendy face. It's in love. Now I'm going to do something mad, and intensely annoying".

Is how I imagine it.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)
The man is human itching powder. Childish, incredibly annoying
and only total cretins find him funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)
OMG he's RORY???

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Big Bang Theory.
Me and mum watch it together when I'm home. Rarely watch stuff online though. Except for Jeremy Kyle, and that's only ever when I need cheering up.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)
I can't imagine that.
Jeremy Kyle only ever makes me angrier.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)
well it's more...
"Thank god I'm not THAT bad."
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)
I never watch the tele. I have a 32" HD effort in my room and it doesn't even have an aerial plugged in.
Just use it for watching stuff off my laptop.
AND FAO JEFF: Is Nicky Maynard any good? I think we're about to buy him.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)
For fuck sake.
No Barry, he's fucking shit. I'm sure Fulham don't need a player who can score goals like this against QPR

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCsfGkrqDQk
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)
I love it when we're actually the big club stealing other players.
We've also had a £10.6m bid accepted for Bryan Ruiz who is supposed to be a little bit special. If we sign them two (as well as a centre midfielder) I will be more than a little happy.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)
In my (lower league) opinion.
Maynard is the best striker outside the prem and probably amongst the top 5/6 English strikers in the country.

City paid Crewe 2.5million for him, and they've turned down 4.75mil from Sven for him, on the basis that neither the club - nor, apparently the player - want to move to a Championship side.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)
I reckon £4m should do it.
Him, Ruiz, Zamora and Dembele up front would be fantastic.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)
I would imagine the fee will be around the 4mil mark.
But don't be surprised if the 'quoted' fee is higher, I know from chatting to the City chairman years back, that when the club bought Tony Thorpe from Fulham (during the Keegan era), the quoted fee was a million, but the reality was they sold him to us for half-a-million, Keegan saying, 'I can't be seen to be losing money on a player'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)
We did that with West Brom and Greening.
Said we signed him for £4m but we actually took him on loan and then at the end (when his contract at West Brom expired) signed him on a free. Then West Brom do some loss of earnings financial wizardry and get £4m out of the taxman or something, I don't understand, and we get a free player. My mate's head of marketing and brand management and fills me in on all this stuff.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)
Sounds like it happens all the time.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)
I don't watch the telly.
It's always on in the background but I only pay attention to Question Time, the news, the occasional Poirot and the occasional Quantum Leap.
Sometimes my mum or my bf make me watch Judge Judy. Or my mum and nana make me watch Extreme Home Makeover with dead people and disabled kids and it makes me cry and then she thinks that because I'm crying it means I agree that it's not shit but it IS shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)
Telly has been shit since the early 90s, eh lar?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)
Telly has been shit since forever.
Doesn't stop us watching it, though.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)
Innit.
I occasionally see the popular programmes that are hep with the young, like Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men. I like the former, but not the latter.
I'd be happy with Moonlighting, John Sullivan's entire works and Joking Apart on a loop.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)
TAAHM is awful.
Big Bang is hilarious. I watch it on repeat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)
I enjoy it round other people's houses
But I don't know when it's on the telly. Probably all the time on E4.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Oh, see I have the dvd's of it.
and I have it on in the background while I'm studying.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)
I like two and a half men.
It's a one trick pony, but I like the pony in question, so I can watch it all day.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)
I loved Joking Apart.
Great series.

"My wife left me..."
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)
Nobody ever mentions it, and that's not fair.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)
I'd like to see it again.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)
You know what used to be REALLY good?
Drop the Dead Donkey. That was a fantastic show. Well, for the first few years, anyway. The last two series were a bit silly.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)
I like watching Deal or No Deal with my mum and brother.
They still think I believe it's a game of skill not luck. I reckon the time we've spent arguing over it accumulates to days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)
It is pure chance.
What skills do they claim these people are using? X-ray vision?
I can't watch it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)
mr b3th is convinced they can change the numbers inside the box before the contestants open them.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Maybe they can...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)
When are you going on Eggheads?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)
Ooooh, that reminds me
I got an email from them yesterday with the new series cutoff dates. I need to catch up with the team tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)
Who is in your team and what are their specialist subjects?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:06, Reply)
Hmmmm
I think it's Darth, me, AA, Amberl & berk. As far as I can remember. There was a sizth person too, because you're supposed to have a reserve.
I don't think we've talked about what our specialist subjects are.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Darth: Dancing and gayness and failing to get promoted to the premier league
You: Beakering, the elderly and piers
AA: Lunch, majoring in the munchy box.
Amberl: All manner of clever stuff.
Berk: All manner of clever stuff and science.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)
Off Topic, your subject is Gayness.
Who's going to take this round, and who would you like to play from the Eggheads?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Hmm.. I can see where this might fall down without proper planning.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)
There's going to be a massive queue for punching CJ repeatedly in the nuts.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)
It might be safer to just punch Darth in the mouth.
It'll have much the same effect!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:24, Reply)
see why would you not want the massive boxing mentalist there!
I would twist that prick up yo
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)
That's why you're there!
I really need to stop before I upset someone. Perhaps I should be the reserve.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)
nah you crack on love, I'll watch it at home in the dark with a bottle of pills and a quart of bourbon

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)
It would appear
I was completely wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:37, Reply)

too late now, I have been shunned.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)
Well you're fucked on sport and I hope you lose

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)
B3th is totally going to kick your arse down the pier for refusing to be supportive!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)
Ooops
I forgot Bobby. I knew there was another name.

Sorry Bobby. *shuffles feet* *looks at floor*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)
nah get to fuck the lot of ya!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)
I knew I shouldn't have answered the question without backup.
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)
You are dead to me b3th...

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)
how could you bump me off like that?
I hope Darth fucks CJ, AA and Amberl emo out over the free food and flake out and Berk tries to fuck any cameraman that has a decent backhand then you have to face the Eggheads alone...
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:25, Reply)
*cries again*
I think one of the girls wanted to be the reserve. I don't know really, mate. I think Darth knows what's going on.

Please don't hate me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

nah it's cool mate, but I do hope sport comes up. *hug*
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)
If he wears his 'kiss me quick' hat on the pier, you can make it up to him.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)

I'm hurt Jeff, it's as if they really think I am stupid... this comedic facade has cost me an opportunity at immortality.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)
I'm sure b3th will drop either the professional scientist or the Oxford graduate to make it up to you....

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:25, Reply)
2:2 that's all I'm saying...

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)
No it's me that says it's a game of skill.
My argument is that the players have to use their skill to know which boxes to pick. My brother will reply "that's luck you twat" and I'll go "no, it's a skill". We go round for hours, him and my mum still think I'm serious.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)
You annoying prick!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)
You've known me long enough to expect nothing less.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)
This is true.
Your poor mother.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)
She loves it.
Almost as much as she loves me hiding round the house and then jumping out on her and screaming. I think the sentence I've most heard in the world is "I'm going to have a heart attack if you keep doing that".
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)
I just did it now.
"Do you want me to end up in an early grave?" is what she said this time.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)
Poor cow.
She's suffered enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:35, Reply)
At the very least, he should put on a Scottish accent and say
'Mother, I will scream at you on my first whistle! 3-2-1 *whistles*'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)
Nah she loves it.
I told her I'm going to get more elaborate with my jumping out from behind things from now on, and she should expect fireworks, balloons and me on a unicycle next time.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:40, Reply)
it's all about schrodinger's model
of quantum states isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)
I pretty much only watch online stuff
except for occasionally football and Dr Who, things like that.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)
You know.... telly programs.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)
Breasts, lovely breasts!
Off to bed now with a good book, have a nice evening all and thanks to Amberl, or Cavey(can't remember which) who recomended The Sparrow and Beej for lending it to me.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)
Night Quicky. Enjoy your book.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)
have you read it yet?
did you cry?

oh, you've gone
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:40, Reply)
When I had a tv license
the only things I watched were Top Gear, QI and Buzzcocks. Occasionally Scrapheap Challenge, University Challenge and Being Human - and that's it.
Now I don't have a tv license I watch the odd thing on iplayer and I have to say, I really don't miss it. My new place has a license included in the rent and I daresay I will yet again only watch the above shows and maybe the Great British Bakeoff, as I believe that's started again. I don't really see the point in most of the programmes as they are designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, which sadly in this country is really fucking low and common.
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:26, Reply)
You need to start watching Eggheads.
*WAVES!*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)
Meh, I'll wing it
I'm sure it'll be fine. Also, HI!
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:33, Reply)
Life treating you well berk?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:35, Reply)
I'm moving in four days
I am not packed. I am not even remotely packed. I'm also coming down with some virus based plague thing. This is not good.

How're you?
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)
Not moving in under a week and with no need to pack.
I have - reluctantly - booked a day off work so I can go to Weston though.

That pained me no end.

Is TC going to give you a hand?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)
Do you not get paid leave on a contract job?
if so, man up. If not - well, it's only a day. TC remains reluctant to help because he says I have too much stuff. I imagine I'll rope him in to unpacking come the weekend, but he's busy on Saturday morning when I'll be moving, so...
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:45, Reply)
How far are you on with the packing?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:49, Reply)
Hey, I bigged up both you and berk with the eggheads team.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:51, Reply)
Cheers Jeff, but I don't think I'm on the Eggheads team
I am rather worried that I've found a folksong I like though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:52, Reply)
You are!
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1336684
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:53, Reply)
Haven't heard anything about it
apart from that :)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:55, Reply)
I feel like Simon Cowell.
You're thought to the next round!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)
Errr
we'll gloss over that, shall we?

still haven't really started...
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:52, Reply)
A man with a van might be your answer here berk.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:54, Reply)
Oh don't get me wrong
I've been through most of the stuff I own and got rid of a great deal of crap, clothes that don't fit, books I don't want etc...but I haven't got round to putting any of the stuff I *do* want to keep in to boxes. I've got a few days though, it'll be fine. (although I may have to pull a sickie on Friday)
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)
Do it.
What are work going to say? Nothing. Especially if you are getting a bit poorly anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:57, Reply)
Yeah, with less than a month to go
it's becoming increasingly difficult to actually give a damn. It's not like they can do anything.
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:00, Reply)
In fact, make it look more convincing by taking tomorrow off as well.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)
I'm off to Pulp in London on Thursday
I will convincingly go 'home' early, ie, bugger off to catch my train.
(berk, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:05, Reply)
You went not long ago to see Pulp....
Do you remember the first time? :)

Who are you going with this time?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:07, Reply)
You can do it :)
through the time-honoured method of tip everything onto the floor, then start sorting.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:55, Reply)
If I don't work, I don't get paid. Them's the rules.
Working from home was a lot easier, that was more output based, rather than being visable.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:51, Reply)
JEFF!
I've just watched Points West, and they didn't mention the pier. Why was the pier on earlier?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)
Because they were hosting the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS of table ice hockey.
It looks shit.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:36, Reply)
We'd better not go, then.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:37, Reply)
table ice hockey looks shit.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)
Alright Monty

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)
It does though.
It's no prize bingo.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)
I LIKE THIS
He came to us when Nasri went Chu Young, Chu Young
And not a lot of cash was spent Chu Young, Chu Young
He'll take the ball and he will score, and then he'll eat your Labrador,
Park Chu Young, Arsenal's number 9! nananananana
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Chu Young, whoever you maybe.
You eat dogs in your home country,
(But) it could be worse, you could be Scouse
Eating rats in your council house.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:55, Reply)
THAT'S PARK JI SUNGS' SONG

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:57, Reply)
And?
The best Arsenal can hope for this season is finishing on the same page on teletext as Everton, so it'll be quite apt.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:00, Reply)
yeah well City are going down!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:01, Reply)
I thought you were going to support Rovers this season
Way to go this evening, bringing it back to 2-2 in the 90th minutes, only to let in a 3rd in injury time.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)
I support Arsenal Jeff, regardless of how shit it can be.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:05, Reply)
I'm sure they'll appreciate you singing your support this weekend!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:06, Reply)
'Ere!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:58, Reply)
evenin pet.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:00, Reply)
Yo

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:01, Reply)

nice catching up, until next time la.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:05, Reply)
It's been deep and meaninful dude.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:07, Reply)
Sorry lar.
It was more a dig at Bob than you. I know you don't eat rats.... Tigger on the other hand....
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:00, Reply)
How dare you.
He won't even eat big spiders!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)
Wasn't there once a 'finger of fudge' advert that included 'Harry the spiders coming out (of the matchbox) party?'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:04, Reply)
There bloody was!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:04, Reply)
You'd be the only other person on here who'd remember it!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:06, Reply)
Remember doing a bloody finger in a matchbox?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:08, Reply)
Yeah.
I remember taking my 'trick' to school and everything!

Kids were convinced (I was in the second year of primary school!)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:09, Reply)
Any rehash of a well thought out original song is rubbish.
Like when we stole Maxi Rodriguez's song for Dembele. I'm so glad we've stopped it, it was embarrassing.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 22:59, Reply)

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