erotica
i saw an advert this morning for the world's first 3D erotic movie, showing exclusively at odeon cinemas soon. 3D nakedness. is that going to be a new level of eroticism? or is it going to be rows of weirdos in deeply unsexy glasses, which will be useless once they have steamed up anyway?

ditto the erotica exhibition - i've never been, despite living 5 mins away, because who wants to see accountants in PVC.

so, is public erotica ever erotic? or just weird?

alt q: what colour pvc would suit you best?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:49, 198 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The money shot would be interesting in 3d

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

eeeeeeow
trust you to think of that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Definitely interesting
Look for any girls opening their mouths, they're keepers!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

hahaha

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Just weird.
Never understood the whole 'thrill of getting caught' getting someone horny, just freaks me out a bit.

Alt: I think we can all safely say it wouldn't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Outdoor sex is great, if that is what your asking
And no Monty, i'm not refering to sucking off tramps in bus shelters
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'll go with classic black.
The idea of watching porn in a cinema is utterly repulsive.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

it would explain the sticky floor though...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

That's what I'm getting at. Grim.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Drawing the distinction between public sex and public erotica
Public sex usually just involves two people hiding somewhere for a quick boff and hoping they don't get spotted. It's a little risqué and a bit of fun if you're in that sort of mood.

Public erotica - well, if we're talking about that 3D film or that exhibition at Olympia, that's just weird. But then I've also never understood the mentality of groups of young men who get together to watch porn.

Alt q: Let's not speculate on the idea of me in PVC. You wouldn't like it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

i suspect most B3atns in black PVC would look like black puddings

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Or haggis

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

*boakes on two levels*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

that's impressive.
Are you in a stairwell?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Hahaha POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

ta. :D

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

this is my point
i am about the least prudish person on the planet, but i find the idea of people wandering around looking at stuff in public to be a bit weird. and yet the Q for the erotica exhibition goes the whole way down high street ken!

i am sure you would look lovely in pvc, but maybe keep it in the bedroom, eh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I couldn't bring myself to even consider wearing PVC
Quite apart from feeling weird, I'd probably make everything even more awkward by just mumbling apologetically in That Dreadfully British Manner^TM.

As for the Erotica Queue...can they even look each other in the eye? Or do they chat to the adjacent people?
"Yes, I thought last year's cock-ring market was particularly bountiful! I do hope it's here again this year."
"Oh, you must show me. Last year we booked in for a professional tutorial on spanking...."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

it is surprisingly like that TBH.
All very matter of fact and friendly. I think it's partly because when standing around in a rubber catsuit, you cannot really be judegmental of others too much.

I've never really been seriously into that stuff, but I've perifferally hung around the scene due to friends or girlfriends and they really are generally a very nice bunch.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I'd be definitely up for going along if I ever went out with an interested girl.
Not sure I'd consider it a turn on, but the idea of hanging around having a drink with a pub full of other people dressed in leather and chainmail doesn't really bother me, surprisingly.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

it's a bit bigger than a pub, dude
it's a fucking massive exhibition centre! come round to mine. we can drink on the balcony and periodically point and laugh instead.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Sure, give me a time.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:18, Reply)

i'm not sure when it's next on
think it's before the end of the year though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Well, let me know when you do and we'll sort something out.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

leather and chainmail Rubber and PVC, your thinking of Cavey's Mob, although there are similarities.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

like mark darcy: "i'm terribly sorry but i think i'm going to come"
i think a lot of them believe they are being very daring. i won't say i'd never go, as i never say never (apart from to children, animals and dead people), but i find the whole thing to be pretty much odd and as you describe it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

For someone claiming to be the least prudish person on the planet
Your being quite judgemental about people you actually don'y know that much about, and making some wrong assumptions. This is of course your prerogative and all that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

i'm only going off the people i have seen queuing
most of them are not in pvc catsuits, but they are nearly exclusively white middle-englanders! but i'm being flippant mostly. i think people should be able to do whatever they want in the bedroom or out of it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Fair do's
and I'd agree with you on the physical side, I have seen far more fat, hairy men dressed only in rubber G-strings than I ever wanted to, but I have also never come across a more chilled, accepting and friendly, atmosphere in a club than I have in a fetish club.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

er dude
how many did you WANT to see?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

none

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

PVC?
probably a nice deep blue.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Erotic, not really, interesting, sometimes.
I've been to Erotica at least once, maybe twice, it was quite nice, mostly becaus e the fetish crowd are nice chilled people but not erotic at all.

Alt: Black was always my colour of choice.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Since this thread is doing so well
I'm going to threadjack slightly to say that, in the interests of board diplomacy there really isn't any poster I actively dislike.

This whole Al/Chompy/Rory toing and froing makes my day rather more tedious than needs be. Those three can often be quite funny, the people nausing them often aren't.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

al USED to be funny
but lately he has just turned mean.

psychochomp has the occasional lucky strike with a one-liner, but otherwise just sleazes over students and posts newslinks.

rory is great.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Meh, my views are a matter of record.
Repetition would be tedious. My personal bug bear ATM is quite a few of the really nice/funny/interesting people, hardly coming on any more and then being surprised that when they do it's a bit shit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Now, I'm not having a shot at anybody in particular, here. I'm only replying to you as you're the latest responder
What tends to happen though is the one of the Trio of Hate will post something. Might be funny, might not. Then one of the hate groupies will make some snide comment. What will then happen is either:

Trio of Hate responds huffily. Tedious argument ensues, clogs up, then kills thread.

or:

Trio of Hate makes witty, but hurtful retort. Tedious argument ensues, clogs up, then kills thread.

It's all just a bit dull and I wish people would just ignore stuff they don't like.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

not quite old bean
the picking on is wholly mutual. normally i would say if you don't like it, don't read it. but yesterday was an exception 'cos there was f*ckall left to read!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

No it's not.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

it's not mutual
as in every person gets the same share of shit, but it's not accurate to say that what kroney calls "the trio" never starts it. the starting it -v- being started upon is pretty much mutual!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I simply mean that there have been many occasions where at least one of the trio has started to wind up another board member for no good reason whatsoever.
No provocation, nothing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

oh yeah
then i am agreeing with you! kroney seems to imply that they never start it. which is not true.

but they don't always start it. this is very true.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I agree.
I'm attempting to keep to a policy of ignoring those three, with the exception of Al when he's not being hateful which does happen. Works for me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:21, Reply)

he used to be lovely
witty and just slightly surreal. then it got a real edge to it, somehow.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Rather than "Trio of Hate"
I think I might instead use "Hatriad". It trips off the tongue better.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

it sounds almost religious

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Some bloke on the radio this morning discussing rioters
described the section of society with no prospects as the Precariat, which I quite liked. Presumably a portmanteau of precarious and proletariat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Yeah, i'd write him off as a cunt
but Blousie, who opinion I trust claims he's a sweety really, so the jury's out til I meet him in person.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

i'm not sure that being nice in person is enough
to make up for his efforts to be really intensely personally horrible, but it might be. you can let me know.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I will if I ever do
I don't think ihe's down for Monty's Bash, so who knows. Interestingly Rory is down for the Pier, but I bet the little shit won't show.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

If he does, push him over the edge.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I think Rory is one of the best posters ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I concur

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

et moi aussi
that's not to say he can't be a cunt for no reason, however!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I think I'm in the bleeding heart faction.
It's not that I want everything to be sweetness and light all the time, but basically I don't want anyone to actually get offended and I think there's more to this place than consistent cuntyness.

While Chompy seems a horror of a human being, you can at least have a conversation with him. Al can occasionally be worth talking to. Rory, cold easily be replaced by a bit of software that spews occasionally funny bile.

/MHO
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

This is because you hate everything
and are gay.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Al won't be going to the bash.
As he's under the impression that there'll be people there he won't get along with.

It's worth pointing out that he's been diplomatic enough not to name names.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

i don't buy that
al is far too intelligent to make that kind of judgment on people he's never met, even if he has read their stuff on here. we all know this place ISN'T REAL.

more like he is a bit bored with b3ta or is a bit worried about stuff he has said - he has gotten worse recently - imho.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

He has, yes. I won't deny that.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

It's married life
it does that to you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I will say that when I've met Al
he's been funny and nice. So make of that what you will
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

i make of it
that you were exceptionally drunk!! (joking)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Well I was certainly that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Rory is excellent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

alt: psychedelic tie-dye with suede fringes, crotchless, obv.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

mmmm.
chaps.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

+ in chaps

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

with baps

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

+ in chaps
Inchaption.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Haha
Leonrado DiChaprio was great in that
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I've been made to go into strip clubs several times.
They are ghastly. Much as Indian businessmen in suits gawping at bored-looking orange Poles give me the MASSIVE HORN, for some reason such places simply embarrass me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

You don't want a strippergram for your bash then?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

No thank you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Damn
*repacks velcro trousers*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Hahahhahaha
I'm trying not to imagine you ripping off a novelty t shirt now. I feel sick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I've been to a couple in my time, mostly on stag parties.
Eastern European clubs often have really gorgeous girls in them, but I can't get rid of the knowledge that they're only doing it because it pays well and most likely despise the drunk British louts in the club. This was backed up the last time I went on one of these weekends after I got talking to a dancer who was wondering why I was sitting in a corner nursing a drink and trying not to look at anyone. She was erudite, charming and university educated. She was dancing to earn money to buy a house near her parents so she could look after them in their dotage.

British clubs are full of skanky crack-whores.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

surely nobody who goes
thinks that the girls are doing it for anything other than cash, though?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

You'd think so, wouldn't you.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I'm fairly certain that the majority of the 'punters'
are unaware in their drunken stupidity that these women pity and despise them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

jesus
that is depressing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

They are melancholy places.
The 'victims of the sex industry' in such clubs are most definitely the customers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Except the punters who get off on being pitied and despised
or "cash machines" as they're known to the ladies.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

A friend of mine has been going out with the stripper he pulled at my stag do for a year now
She is lovely, intellegent and kind. She stripped because she was confident about herself and could make thousands of pounds a week.

She was no victim
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

See above - the victims are the drunken dickheads paying loads of money and getting no sex for it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

true, but if they want to waste their money then i ay let them, it's no more of a waste than gambling, drinking or drugs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

True enough.
I'm not suggesting they close them down - I just don't want to go in them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Never been too a proper strip club, but extensive experience of strippers in pubs.
In places like Redcar and Hartlepool.
Poor girls, they must be doing it to either feed a kid or a habit.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Mmmm, nice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

No, not really.
I believe that skanky erotic artists are available in the South too.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

They definitely are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

They make me feel ill, strip clubs.
Proper ill. And even if I was looking at them from my non biased point of view, I genuinely don't understand them. You pay money for a wench to dance around you and you leave more sexually frustrated than when you went in.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

You can get that treatment in most normal clubs, too.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

That's even more grim.
Half the enjoyment of having sex with someone is that they actually want to have sex with you as well. Unless you're PsychoChomp.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

To be fair Barry
you're obsessed with clothes and drink in The Eagle. Are you sure you've not just been going to the wrong sort of strip club? Something more Chippendales might be a better fit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Also there's a hint of the 'watching porn with your mates' about it
which again I cannot understand one bit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

A guy at school watched porn with his dad...
then he stabbed someone and got expelled
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I was only excluded ACTUALLY SO GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT OK?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Ugh, and the excruciating part where they start walking around asking you if you'd like a private dance
with this act on that it'd be a huge turn-on for them.

It makes my skin crawl.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

It's awful.
And you see those 20-year-old stockbroking trainees with their eyes popping out, absolutely LOVING IT. Pathetic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

The place where I got chatting to one of the girls
was fucking rammed full of rugger buggers. Every single one of them convinced that the girls were gagging for it and took it as a personal slight when they couldn't pull one.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I love this side thread
as it validates something I have been ridiculed for in the past, That strip clubs are shite and in no way entertaining. Paying to become frustrated seems futile.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

See here for further validation
b3ta.com/questions/wasteofmoney/post897885 - FOAF story, I know, but said friend is a reasonably sound source
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I don't find public erotica erotic
it's generally trying too hard to be 'out-there' and over the top.

Alt: I'd look like an overstuffed sausage. But I'm sure a nice dark blue would be very flattering*

*lies
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I'm sure you'd look fine
I'd look like this
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

needs MOAR comedy t-shirt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Something about being a kinky tory

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Out of interest does anyone like 3D films?
I've only seen Avatar, I can't imagine the extra cost is worth it for other films
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

my dad just treated himself to a 55 inch 3D tv
he says the sport is amazing. also he was watching some nature programme about insects. why oh why would you want giant 3d insects in your family room?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Will he be watching 3d porn on it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

They are fucking shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

And the glasses
Create a room full of Gok Wan cunts
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Haha!
Monty, it pains me to say, is right.

AND they charge EXTRA.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Shhhh
you will only encourage him
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:16, Reply)

No, I can't stand them.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I saw Bolt in 3D
It didn't seem worth it, but it was the only film on we all wanted to watch at the time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

no, I think they are shit
Tron Legacy was decent in 3D, but everything else would have been as good, if not better without 3D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

No, and I think the novelty is wearing off for a lot of people
Most 3D films released lately have shown a higher income from the 2D showings. The cost just doesn't seem worth the extra 'ooh' and 'ahh' factor and I don't go the cinema for the spectacle (or the spectacles) alone.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Threadjack
One of the last tasks I have for my wedding is to select the song for the first dance.

I thought yesterday that I had made up my mind, but now I'm not so sure. The choices are this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDeyXWyM4Oo&feature=related
or this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM30iNH8TqA

both cheesy I know, but at least they are rock songs.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Thunder over Kiss, every single time.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

there is the added bonus
that it is about a minute shorter as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Even better

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

4'33''
Might as well start as you mean to go on.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:28, Reply)

i can't watch youtube at work
but is one of them "why do birds suddenly appear" by the carpenters and the other "angels" by robbie williams?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

no
'Love walked in' by Thunder and 'I was made for lovin' you' by KISS
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Second vote for Thunder.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I was set on Kiss yesterday
but having listened to both I'm swinging back towards Thunder. Shorter, easier to dance to, more comedy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Put it this way. I hate Kiss.
Therefore, if you play Kiss, I won't come to your wedding.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Youtube is blocked here too
If you're ever fussed, you can stick the video reference code into google, that'll usually tell you the song.

e.g. C&P 'CM30iNH8TqA' into google for the second one.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Kiss, for comedy value, both are a bit grim.
You did want a comedy wedding, didn't you?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:20, Reply)

we don't want a fucking boring one
if I had my way we wouldn't dance at all, but if we are going to then I want a comedy rock tune
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

'Loudmouth' by the Ramones is your best choice.
Lyrics set the tone for the years ahead - and it's about 1 minute long.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Well at least you get a choice.
Although come to think about it if I'd chosen my first dance, it would have meant a song I actually likes was ruined for me now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

fortunately my mrs has the same taste in music as me, more or less

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

THUNDER.
Kent's finest rock band.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Yeah, they're loads better than The Soft Machine and Caravan.


Hang on a minute....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Should I ever have the honour of becoming married there will be no '1st dance'.
There will be no 'second' or any other 'dance' either.

I will not sumbit to such a degrading ordeal.

Wedding - no music at all, and none of my friends attending. My sister's had none and it was pure class and lovely.
Wholly separate party for friends - good music provided by me.

I understand that this is not for everyone (particularly not the 'music provided by me' bit).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Don't be daft, the wedding's not about what you want.
Your best hope is to find a woman whose wedding plans mirror what you want and then marrying her. Because if they don't, you *will* submit.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:28, Reply)

this is sadly the truth
I've had it pretty easy really, but just occasionally there has been a hint of crazy woman coming through.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

You're lucky enough to get a woman
whose wishes mirror your own pretty closely.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I am indeed
not just for the wedding either
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Oh God, incoming croissants.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:32, Reply)

indeed
I just need to find some way of incorporating this stuff into my speech
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I'm pretty good at writing stuff like that and if I knew you personally, I'd offer to do so.
However, I don't. So I won't.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

thanks
I have some content for it, I just need to decide how to actually write it, and how much to write, or whether to give myself headings and wing it. Which is what I normally do.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

What I tend to do is write a full speech, but keep it fairly rough
and fill it out on the fly. That way you have a reference of what you mostly intend to say and it still comes off as of the moment.

Nothing ruins a speech more than reading it straight off the page.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

that's pretty much what I intend
I'm hoping that a pressing deadline will make me write it quicker slightly nearer the time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Big Numbers at the top of each paragraph for quick reference

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I will fucking not, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Then I shall accompany you to the pub
after it all gets called off.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Absolutely fine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Booze is the best part of a wedding.
I've been engaged once, but managed to tunnel out of it, tf
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

The birdy song by the Tweets.
Everyone can join in and not feel left out.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I hope this is ironic...

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

No way.
Bartleby's dad played the zither on the original. I thought everyone knew that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

See my above reply.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I'm just trying to plant it to annoy the rest of you.
Diddle diddle diddle de, diddle diddle diddle de, de de de de.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

die please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Its in your head now.
Hahahaha.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

we had Nina Simone, which seemed to strike a good balance
also we prepped ushers, bridemaids and friends to come on have way through so as to shorten the agony
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Yeah, Strange Fruit as a first dance.
Actually, that would do for Darth.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

My baby just cares for me, actually!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Lovely song, but difficult for a first dance, I would have thought.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Nakers just busted out his trademark electric-boogie and popping routine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I'm suprised the marriage didn't end then and there.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Everybody loved his break dancing routine
right up until he tried a headspin and kicked his new wife in the teeth.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

...breaking her neck and leaving her chairbound for life.
Well it was certainly one to remember.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Luckily, the neckbrace, wheelchair and lack of teeth
means he can have a blowie whenever he wants. Which is some small comfort to him, at least.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

And she can't run away now - or tell the police.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

It's OK, because he's often crying and apologising whilst he does it.
She understands. It was an accident. Of course, she can't actually talk, but I'm sure she does.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)

This is her best tune:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwk7DWq_E3s
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I like sex.
Nuff said.

Alt: I don't think PVC was invented for women like me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:06, Reply)

doesn't stop a lot of people.
What ho Beej, life?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Meh!

( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)

same here.
Going for a quick drink after work, but a quick drink is all it'll be, so nothing to write home about.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Hopefully meeting Aber at the weekend in Manchester.
At least I know when my mother's coming back now. Next Thursday before I pop down to London again.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)

So the end is in sight, and you have a fun weekend.
Buck up, sounds pretty good.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

It's only a few hours with Aber, the rest of the weekend will be spent doing things for family.
And the weather will be shit : (

I might try and sneak a little afternoon nap on Sunday.

Edit: Bugger! just remembered I can't. Taking nephew to cinema Sunday. Oh well! that will be nice.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)

What are you seeing?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Probably Cowboys and Aliens.

( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Lucky you.
I may ty to talk The Boy into this, when it rains and we cannot do our planned Bike riding lesson.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

PVC's a bit thin and tacky.
I'd wear latex if I was going to bother with clingy shiny stuff.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I'd go to a fetish club in some sort of 1940's sexy uniform.
Like the Beverly sisters but slutty.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:15, Reply)

That would be ace.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Khaki slacks, cleavage busting out of tight shirt and army boots.
Little cap perced on head etc
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I think that fifties pin-up style is great.

( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Me too! And perfect for my figure.

( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)

And let's be honest here for a moment.
Nobody is going to argue with busting cleavage, whatever their age, gender or orientation.
( Kroney, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I think a skirt though.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Then I would have to wear heels.
I can't do heels.
( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

No you wouldn't

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I might manage kitten heels.

( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Zackly
or lil sexeh flats
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I can't wear flats to a fetish club. People will think I'm weird.

( girlinthehole, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

PVC's more comfortable
or less uncomfortable I should say.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

yeah but it's a-show.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)