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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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INTERNET HARDMAN LUNCH: sign up here, if, of course, you are hard enough.
Applicants not deemed hard enough will be duffed up big time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:14, 135 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Oh thank god for a new thread
I haven't a fucking clue what they're all on about in that previous one...
Now what was the question again?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Oct 1st- 4pm, curry, Whitechapel, coming?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:25, Reply)
I'm tempted...
I'll have to run it past Mrs Dupinblue first though.
/underthethumb
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)
This is not helping your claim for a place at the hardman table.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)
In mitigation
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1358398
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Are you admitting to being a girl AT LAST?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Oh what a giveaway

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:59, Reply)
Some low fat piece of shit wrap.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:15, Reply)
That should probably be an if not an of
is that hard enough?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:17, Reply)
Sounds like fighting talk

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:18, Reply)
What a spastic.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Hey! Amberl's alright!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)
You're calling me a spastic?
I can rearrange your sentence structure as well as I can Monty's. *Rolls up sleeves*
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I can't hear those threats through my belming.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)
FACKIN KNACK 'IM!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)
The benefits of being a Big Girl
mean you're automatically hard as nails. No punch will ever make it past the primary defences
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Hard girls = 10,000 times scarier that hard blokes.
FACT.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)
Correct(ed).
Doing this on the sly, boss's wife behind me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Sign up? I fucking organised it you bender.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Oh is this about the pre bash bash
I thought it was how hard my lunch was today.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:21, Reply)
Well then you don't need to sign up do you, durr.
I was going to book Needoo's/Tayyab's and wanted an idea of numbers - unless you want to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)
What time is it for, who there will hate me and do I have to basically sit on your knee again?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)
You can't come
You're too soft.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:25, Reply)
I am pretty soft,
but I make it up by stuffing my face with spicy food better than any of you pussy cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)
4pm.
Strictly hardnuts so none of your victims will dare attend.

So far Jeff, Al, me, stunned, Kroney and Amberl I think. And you - unless this is your way of saying that basically you are not very hard 'eye arr ell'?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Put me down as coming, as I'm leaving early it'll make sense to start early.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Will do.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Can you add two more to that please.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I sure can.
They ARE hard, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)
They are the two hardest women I can think of in the entire world.
Just last weekend one of them mentioned that if you were to even think about treating Lusty in a way that was anything less than perfect, she would be rapidly wearing your head as a hat.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:34, Reply)
*quakes*
Fucking ell - them?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Yep.
Them.

You should be fucking terrified.

If I were you, I'd be too scared to keep my plate of spicy poos and lamb chops in my stomach.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:40, Reply)
I'm not sure those poos
will have time to be converted into real poos before my body jettisons them.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Can you imagine passing a half digested spicy poo
with the chilli seeds and jagged edges scraping along your anal sphincter before being fired into the bowl at high velocity causing splashback of epic proportions, but the cooling impact of the water provides just a momentary respite against the burning agony which seems to be spreading back up your insides and the baby wipes just can't seem to reach far enough.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Nah, I don't actually want to be involved with the donkey work
you can do that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Are you just going to add a secondary stamp of approval then?
And if so can it be on Chompy's face?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Fucking punch 'im. Go on.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)
I'm quite hard don'tchaknow, but I have a feeling I'm otherwise engaged.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)
You're just scared of the post-prandial pint-of-spirits-downing and armwrestling of angry bears.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)
No, I'm not, honest.....
I just need to do something, erm something, er somewhere else.


*may be attending soft-cunt's drinking session at Gonz's*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Game of soggy biscuit and double Yops all round?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:36, Reply)
You think that's really Yop?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:39, Reply)
*shrugs*
it's strawberry flavoured and Gonz get's very insistent that you drink it.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Too much gin

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:34, Reply)
4pm for lunch, what planet are you on?
I'll come for high tea curry, you lot can have what the fuck you like.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:36, Reply)
We're so fucking hard that we only get up at 2pm.
Most accurately it's breakfast curry.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:38, Reply)
So that makes it curry breakfast
That is rather hard.

That reminds me, I should book a hotel room that night.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:40, Reply)
So you're up for the meal, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Yup. Its Tayyabs?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:46, Reply)
Or Needoo's round t'corner*
Not sure. Kroney will cry if it's not 'Yabs but since they put their prices up I reckon Needoo's is better. The food's just as good and the manager is my old pal.


*Northern for 'the corner'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Whichever one will be fine by me.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I may join you, although I'm not sure what my plans will be on the day
so put me down as a 'possibly'.
(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Can we put you down as a hotty?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:55, Reply)
I reckon.
*does 1970s 'phwoooaaaar' gesture*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Fit bird ONLINE?
if you must. I am trying to persuade tennis boy to come to the bash. He remains unconvinced.
(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Nah, don't bring him
if you have a ginger next to you slobbering in your ear, you will appear less attractive.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:01, Reply)
He was intimidated by my 'normal' friends
from back home. Mind you, they had been at a wedding all day and were hammered. He'd probably spend the evening locked in to a cubicle in the toilet, shellshocked, after meeting you lot.
(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:05, Reply)
We'd fucking hardman him so much he'd shit his own liver out in fear.
We'd be all "Hey, you're not treating her right, if you think it's okay to treat her wrong, just because you have a smaller than average sized penis, then you're fucking wrong mate!"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Yeah, maybe I'll leave him at home.
although in his defence he has been absolutely lovely for a good while now.
(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:09, Reply)
But in our defence, we're off the internet and therefore we don't forget stuff.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:10, Reply)
EVA

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:33, Reply)
?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDZc-ONMOPA
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:40, Reply)
If he comes,
I promise on my honour to bully him until he cries.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:12, Reply)
We could take it turns to play "good internet hardnut, bad internet hardnut"

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:12, Reply)
That sounds good to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:27, Reply)
I'm sure you couldn't bring yourself to be so ungentlemanly.

(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:14, Reply)
He'd be defending your honour
what could be more gentlemanly?

I think the only way he could be more chivalrous would be if he were to whip his cock out and jizz on your face after he'd reduced you boyfriend to a gibbering wreck.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:17, Reply)
In a 'Z' pattern, whilst wearing a black mask?

(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:18, Reply)
In an "M" surely.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:20, Reply)
Yes, I suppose that would be more appropriate
I'm not sure there'd be time to whip out that extra pen(is)stroke though.
(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:22, Reply)
Oh you'd be surprised at my penile dexterity.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:38, Reply)
Im suprised you can get it up at your age.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:49, Reply)
I use a lolly stick as a splint.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:53, Reply)
Totally with you for the Needoos.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:54, Reply)
I never thought I'd say it, but it seems to be true.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:05, Reply)
Sorry, I have plans.
And also I'm a right softy.
(DeeDee, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:39, Reply)
*bullies*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:39, Reply)
*cries*
:(
(DeeDee, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:40, Reply)
*feels momentarily good but is secretly tortured inside and is a coward who should be stood up to like all bullies*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:47, Reply)
I won't stand up to you, but I will wait ten years, and then look you up on facebook,
and be really pleased when you're a fat biffer mum with a gaggle of illegitimate children, and I am not. HA!
(DeeDee, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:49, Reply)
You may wish to invest in a vehicle from the Honda range in preparation.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I won't need the engine, as I can't drive. Maybe I'll just get the shell of an Accord, and then use it like a Flintstone's car.
(DeeDee, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Sorry can't make it
I've already got a reservation at The Salty Spitoon Super Weenie Hut Jr
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:44, Reply)
*de-bags*
*wedgies*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:45, Reply)
*pays handsomely*

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:50, Reply)
*doesn't know a 'Handsome Lee'*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I thought he was your dad?

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)
He's more 'weewy hard' than 'handsome'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Soz I have AIDS and will be looking gaunt and ill in my loft apartment

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:45, Reply)
...with only the high pitched strains of a Mr James Somerville for company...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:46, Reply)
He makes him feel mighty real.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:48, Reply)
He makes me feel mighty angry.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 16:49, Reply)
I think the missus may be joining you.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:19, Reply)
+ for some red hot meat
ooh err
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:20, Reply)
QUICK! Engage pandatron!
I have continued my unbeaten run of unsuccessful asking guys out on dates.

May be time for plastic surgery/liposuction/personality transplant
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:24, Reply)
He turned you down?
Give me us his email adress, so we can all call him a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:26, Reply)
he may just have a girlfriend/be gay
or have eyes
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:27, Reply)
Did he site either of these as excuses?
Or simply run screaming into the night? Either way the man's a fool and needs a slap.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:30, Reply)
I just asked him if he wanted to go for a drink
he said he'd have to decline. I have no evidence of whether he puked on his keyboard at the horror of the thought or not
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:32, Reply)
Rotten luck
*offers consoling hug* still, at least you know, plenty more fish in the sea and all that, and anyway men are bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:34, Reply)
yay platitudes :)
you might want to keep that as an autocomplete for the next one I fuck up
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:37, Reply)
Platitudes are platitudes because they are true.
I did offer to fuck him up big time and I am happy to follow through on that offer. /IRL whiteknight
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:38, Reply)
haha, ta but not until I find he is being a cunt
and not just someone with a girlfriend
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:39, Reply)
If he has a GF but didn't dump her for you, then he's a cunt.
Time to start ringing his doorbell and running away at 3AM.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:42, Reply)
to the stalking machine!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:46, Reply)
He will rue the day he cast you aside for another woman/man.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:47, Reply)
You asked Swipe's bf out?
Hardly the done thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:32, Reply)
but he sounded so good
with the 6 pack and good salary and stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:33, Reply)
It was the nipple ring and narcissistic gym obsession that made him so irresistable.
That and the challenge of 'turning' a woofter.

Go on, admit it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:39, Reply)
there is no fun without a challenge

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:40, Reply)
Calm down 'sittingduck'
The Honda dealership's closed for the night.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:32, Reply)
Yeah, but gay pron is so passe
getting random emails from unrelated strangers calling you a cunt would actually be quite unnerving.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:35, Reply)
Bugger him for not replying

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:32, Reply)
he did reply, just not favourably

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:34, Reply)
Sorry :(
that's really shit. Others out there though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:38, Reply)
i know
I could get turned down by HUNDREDS of different men if I tried hard. I should make a collection
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:39, Reply)
Of their severed heads!

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:40, Reply)
This is why I don't ask people out anymore
so you're braver than me :)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:45, Reply)

braver stupider
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:47, Reply)

stupider braver.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:55, Reply)
gonna stick with stupid myself
it was an act of ridiculous optimism. Doesn't suit me.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:56, Reply)
Do you wish you hadn't?
Was it better tpo never know? If so I apologise for egging you on.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:59, Reply)
Do keep up.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 17:36, Reply)
Did you ask him out over the internet?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 18:37, Reply)
No Internet sucks!

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 18:39, Reply)
Well I'm glad the only thing that sucks is a lack of Internet access.
*Blackburn lolz*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 18:50, Reply)

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