I think we should all club together and help
Captain 'artbitch' Cavy get a man.

I vote we set her up with Chompy at Pizza Express in MK, followed by a trip to the Odeon to see 'Friends with benefits'

Suggestions?
( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 18:49, 221 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:13, Reply)

She does have standards.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Really?
Well those aren't going to help matters. Or do you mean standard like she's got the kite mark on her?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:31, Reply)

As you seem keen on the idea, I nominate you.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Maybe Wormulus has alraedy seen the film, or maybe he doesn't like pizza.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:23, Reply)

Or maybe he's a raging hoop wrangler.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:35, Reply)

I read on /talk that you sucked me off at Hebdon Bridge station, whilst you were dressed as a girl.
Did you start that rumour?
( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:53, Reply)

No, Bogus did.
The cheeky scamp that he is.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:24, Reply)

Christ it's jumping in here tonight.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:31, Reply)

Start a fun new thread DG!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:32, Reply)

I'm back!
Does that help cheer things up?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:33, Reply)

Depends.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:34, Reply)

Have you been somewhere b3th?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:34, Reply)

Didn't anybody notice I was gone?
*cries*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:36, Reply)

I did.
For the last couple of weeks, we haven't had to put up with you posting about THE PIER every 20 seconds.

Did your friends enjoy themselves on their visit?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:37, Reply)

They did, very much.
I am now absolutely knackered. I've filled up and depleted my car's fuel tank three times in the last week and a half. I've driven to Heathrow twice, Liverpool once, Stonehenge/Salisbury once, Longleat once, and Bath once.

And teh pier, obviously.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:39, Reply)

So they've gone home now.
What was their highlight?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:41, Reply)

London, apparently.
We did all teh shit tourist stuff. London Eye, open top bus tour, duck boat tour, Tower of London.

Liverpool was my highlight, because I got to have dinner with Chief Inspector Roota, who is boss.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:43, Reply)

London is ace.
your friends have taste.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:45, Reply)

Are you saying Roota is shit?
Is that what you're saying?
I believe that's what you're saying.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:49, Reply)

I hope not.
Young Gary is a prince among thieving scallys.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

Hang on.
THE PIER wasn't as good the London.

*Scraps plans for the pier*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:48, Reply)

The pier was excellent, and everything I hoped it would be.
Loud, bright, cheesy, busy.
I intend to go on everything.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:51, Reply)

I intend going to the bar.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:53, Reply)

As far as I remember
it was about £3.50 for a cider.

Fish and chips is two meals for a tenner.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Fish and chips at the seaside should be from a chippy, in a paper bag, and eaten on 'the prom'.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:55, Reply)

I've hardly been on to be honest.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:37, Reply)

I've
ly
been
to be honest
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Convoluted strikethrough gag is convoluted.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Sorry.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:49, Reply)

B3th, yesterday I was giving myself a good scratch and thought of you, then realised you ain't been about in yonks.
You alright lovely? I just saw a new flat, the flat is lovely, and the guy's wife is STUNNING too. I had to stop myself from saying "Is it alright if just he moves out?" but I don't want her to take it seriously and him punch me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Thanks for that Gonz. It's always nice to be thought of.
Did you have a good scratch?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:52, Reply)

It was cracking, thanks, really nice and satisifying, didn't use any untensils though.
Where the hell have you been? I had clinical depression for a few days and you wern't anywhere to be around ! I had to fix it all on my own.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:56, Reply)

Oh, you poor boy!
Don't you have my mobile number? You could have texted me.

I might have cared.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:57, Reply)

It was proper "Nobody will ever love me beyond plotonicly and [family one]" down-in-the-dumpisim
I woke up the next morning on the couch with half a defrosted uncelebratory banoffee pie, which is the worst kind of defrosted banoffee pie. It's alright though, I went back to not caring about that, which is much better.

You should give me your number so I can text you pictures of verious dogs I see in the street.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:05, Reply)

*there there*
As long as 'various dogs' isn't a euphemism for your genitals, then gaz me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:06, Reply)

Nah', nobody gets to see them without prior written concent no less than 7 days in advance.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:18, Reply)

The only question I can think to ask is:
Is the Newcastle - Forest game on the telly tomorrow? In that respect it would be about as popular as this thread.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:34, Reply)

As far as I know.
Sky are showing Leeds v Man Utd. You might find a stream of it somewhere.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Hmm, bugger.
My local would probably normally show it on some hooky channel, but it's their acoustic night tomorrow so I doubt they'll have it on. I may check their FB page though, just in case.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:37, Reply)

Is that a Facebook or Football page?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:39, Reply)

Faecebook.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:39, Reply)

Evenin all
anyone want to convince me to wast an evening on here, rather than putting old lights on my bike?

I vote we set Cavey up with my cousin. Except they are in different guilds so they;d fight.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Different Guilds?

( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:49, Reply)

It's a LARP thing
you wouldn't understand it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:50, Reply)

oh dear
Old, has pets, divorced, nerd.
Next you'll be telling me she's got great hair and is very bubbly.
( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:56, Reply)

BAGS OF PERSONALITY !!!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:58, Reply)

She's not old.
And the rest of those criteria apply to most of us in varing degrees.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:59, Reply)

Stop projecting your failings onto others

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

Shhhhhh
He's just protecting Cavy because he luuuuurves her.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Every forum needs a white knight on a trusty steed, the creepy angle provides additional entertainment

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:02, Reply)

His profile suggests that he's a communist.

( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:03, Reply)

He plots the downfall of the West from his bedsit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:05, Reply)

That's quite interesting
I wonder if he's an old-school mentalist communist, a trendy prick with a CCPC top or one of those nutters who thinks communism is great and would definitely, totally work if it had only been done properly, honestly, it definitely would.
( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:07, Reply)

You cannot go taking profiles too seriously.
I'm neither Sean Connery, nor Magnum and the BCP may, just may, be fictional. Or maybe that's what I want them to believe
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:11, Reply)

He hands out anarchist flyers outside Camden Tube Station at the weekends
He still thinks his Che Guevara t-shirt is cool
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:11, Reply)

*wonders in with a rehashed quote that I once heard that I think sounds dead-clever about the subject even though I know fuck all*
The only working example of a comunist system is the Kabutz system.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:29, Reply)

Stop telling people they're being creepy.
It's creepy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:04, Reply)

You like the creepy attention

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:07, Reply)

i think that's what us normal people call 'friendship'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:23, Reply)

Technically age is the only thing on there that applies to all of us in varying degrees.

( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:01, Reply)

point.
But I'd wager there are quite a few divorcees, most people have pets and most of us are nerds of one kind of another.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:03, Reply)

I'm not a divorcee or a nerd
I own a tree but I wouldn't describe it as a pet.
( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:04, Reply)

Stil married or just not found that special someone just yet?
*checks profile* you've been a member for 6 years and you claim not to be a nerd? Well, I guess these things are relative, but I suspect there are people who would disagree.

FWIW, I've been divorced, but no pets and if you're not a nerd I doubt I qualify either. I am older than Cavey though.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:07, Reply)

I'm an old, married nerd with a pet.
I certainly agree with your sentiment.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Well Hello!
You seem to fit into my target group, mind if I park my horse here while I wait for someone to pick on you?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:09, Reply)

Probably won't have long to wait...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:33, Reply)

I thing they've gone off to have a big soapy bath and play spot the submarine.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:42, Reply)

That sounds like a fun game...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:44, Reply)

Oh, it is.
I'll teach you how to play one day, if you play your cards right. *winks*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:46, Reply)

I don't have pets.
I don't see the point of them. I don't see the point of houseplants either. Houseplants and pets are owned by needy people.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:01, Reply)

+fat, ugly, stupid sense of humour and wonky teeth

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:58, Reply)

Duly noted.

( WormuIus, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)

If you attach a red light to Blousie, we'll fall out.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:49, Reply)

You said this, I did not.
Therefore you will get the well deserved beating.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:50, Reply)

-------

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:52, Reply)

What does that mean?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:52, Reply)

I think it means you'll be sleeping on the couch.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:53, Reply)

couch dustbin
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:56, Reply)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:58, Reply)

FWBFTW!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:56, Reply)

I must be getting old.
I have no idea what that means...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 19:59, Reply)

poor old Dav, he's just not 'with it' any more, is he?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

If, indeed, I ever was.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Oh, I dunno, sometime back in the 1950s I reckon you were pobably pretty groovey

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:04, Reply)

bless!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Oh, I just worked it out.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

I actually know someone who I reckon Cavy would like
but he lives oop north.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Evening Amberl!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:17, Reply)

Evening Jeff
how are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:38, Reply)

I'm a fully up-to-date member of the well hip and cool w******* R*** club.
How did the bouncing and the rowing go today?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:39, Reply)

Didn't do trampolining because it was raining
but did plenty of rowing and situps. Welcome back to the club *returns badge*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:42, Reply)

*Nicks a car, becomes a prefect*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:46, Reply)

*dies of a heroin overdose in the toilets, gets found by Row-land*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:51, Reply)

*drinks ethanol*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:05, Reply)

*knocks up Spanish teacher*
*shags Kerry Katona*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:06, Reply)

What was he thinking there?
Miss Montoya was well fit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:07, Reply)

She was indeed
*runs away with a teacher*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:09, Reply)

haha
You love Bob. You love Bob.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:12, Reply)

I'll have him then.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:25, Reply)

slut.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:28, Reply)

Pfft!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:28, Reply)

Hang on, I made a witty and amusing comment up ^ somewhere and I get shunned.
B3th calls you a slut and you laugh. How does that work?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:30, Reply)

Because b3th is a woman.
Like when one black man calls another black man a nigger.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:32, Reply)

racist.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Shut up bitch.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:34, Reply)

fortyshadesofgrey.blogspot.com/
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:34, Reply)

STOP IT

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:35, Reply)

lawl

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:35, Reply)

I thought she were the fat horrible troll tied up to that gyppo gate, but it appears that she's sat on her fat twat claiming benefits in Bristol whilst fighting for the sisterhood

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:35, Reply)

I was reading about this girl in the papers on the way home from work today, it it might have been on the way too, I can't remember. It was today though.
Anyway, I think her name was Natasha Fox, and she's always going around these protests sticking her big fucking fanny in because she got the horse she really wanted growing up, or something like that.

Anyway, I was on the side of the Dale Farm people until all these fucking activists stuck their awe in, can't fucking stand them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:46, Reply)

They were told when they bought the land that they weren't allowed to build permanent homes on it
but they still did it anyway. Then they bitch and whine about being turned out of their homes, as if they're being robbed of their ancient family homesteads.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:50, Reply)

You do know that they have 'houses' back in Ireland.
They quite like the double drop of benefits from both States
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Pikey bastards.
*subscribes to Daily Mail*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

Only reason it was revoked was due to greenbelt issues, which I strongly disagree with, within the UK.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

A load of middle class 'warriors of the proletariat' have turned up to defend the gyppos human rights
Not that the knackers had any credibility to begin with. I do hope mummy and daddys house in Buckinghamshire will have their driveway Tarmacadamed by their new found bredren.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Besides, as we all know, the only people who have human rights are burglars and rapists.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

*rustles the daily mail*

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

There's a post on that blog about arguments I will never have again.
The authors writes:

"Only 6.5% of reported rapes will result in a conviction of the attacker."

in August 2011.

This oft-quoted 'fact' comes from a misconstured AG's report from 2007-2008 and has actually led to a decrease in the number of rapes reported as people (quite understandably, if the 6.5% figure were correct) didn't think there was any point reporting it.

In actual fact the number of convictions at court is around 60%, which is very close to the average conviction rate, which frankly is quite staggering, given ultimately how hard it is to prove the requisite elements of a rape. By comparison, the lowest rate of conviction in court is (this is from memory now) Threat to kill which is around the 50% mark.

I think if you google it you can probably find the debates in the commons on Hansard where Lady Stern tears a strip off Harman and demands that the 6% figure 'never be used', as it is wrong and misleading.

Wrong and misleading, like that blog post.
( WormuIus, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

So am I in trouble or not?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:36, Reply)

As a general rule, yes.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Fair enough.
So what attactions on the pier have you already sampled?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:49, Reply)

Just the fish and chips so far.
I'm saving the rest for the bash.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Is the view from the big tower thingy quite impressive...
By 'impressive' can you see the sea when the tide is out when you're up the top of it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

You can't see the sea when you're standing in the water.
What with it being hidden under the mud and all taht...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Macclesfield?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:27, Reply)

No Leeds now I think

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:41, Reply)

With a lack of solid information, how do you hope to ever find him....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:59, Reply)

He's not for me
too old and not my type, but Cavy and I have very different types I seem to remember
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:06, Reply)

So he's old, like me, and lives in West Yorkshire, like me.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Is Leeds in Yorkshire?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:24, Reply)

*facepalms*
You went to bleeding Oxford.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:24, Reply)

These young'uns, eh Blousie?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Even I know that.
and I'm geographically illiterate.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Geography has never been my strong point

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:44, Reply)

It's a good job you know about Homer and have big bosoms.
Otherwise you'd be laughed off the board.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:47, Reply)

But does she know about Higgs?
If she tells this bloke about one of Captains piggies and not the other. Boy. Would THAT be awkward.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:48, Reply)

Yes, it's the largest city in West Yorkshire.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:47, Reply)

What do you think Gvpy?
Shall we brush this under the carpet?
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:50, Reply)

Potter's Bar?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:34, Reply)

I'm totally making biscuits!
does this make me a girl?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:45, Reply)

It makes you a (lemon) puff.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Well, I suppose with Darth gone we need a resident homo.
I have no objection to being that homo.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:51, Reply)

I have it on good authority he is back from his tour of the mens' toilets of London.
He may be good enoughto grace us with his fabulous presence tomorrow.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Nah, he's stealth -lounced, innit?
Ewwww! biscuits are ready!
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

:(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

Calm down dear,
it's only the internet.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:00, Reply)

*breathes into paper bag*

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I found a video of you as a kid
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo1BorkW9Do
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

That's amazing.
I don't think I've ever mentioned my love of baseball on here before!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:54, Reply)

hahaha
That video is BRILLIANT.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

It's like pistons stand up.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:01, Reply)

wow

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

I had no idea 'Greg' was such a wanker

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

I found this video of you from that reality show you were on
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEuJ3dLLYco
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:02, Reply)

hahahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:04, Reply)

And oddly, I found your television debut too.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9BqW6dv9dA

Trust me, the first 10 seconds are all you need.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:05, Reply)

mine was better.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I'm not saying it wasn't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:10, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qNOIJNfICI&feature=player_embedded
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:13, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e5hRLbCaCs
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

yuo have to like tennis
www.wimp.com/tennisentertainer/
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:20, Reply)

That lead me to a video of an adorible little girl being teased that when she turns 4, she'll turn black.
You know how when women say their overies twitch when they see a little kid who they think is cute? Well, I'm a bloke, and I'm not sure if it's right to say, in the same context, that my testicles convulsed.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:09, Reply)

One call, mate, you're on a register.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Sexist!

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Not every man who plays with a child who is not their own is a paedofile.
some people are just nice.

/S'Pip.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Ah, the 'Glitter Defence'.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:19, Reply)

Listen, it's blatent that I'm not talking about fiddling a child here, why the hell would I molest my own child?
That would be like keying your own car.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:22, Reply)

'keying your own car' made me laugh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Gonz, you might like this
www.wimp.com/humblestove/
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Oh man ,that's amazing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:40, Reply)

WoW!!
*is impressed*
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Imagine how nice my chips would be if you cooked them one one of them.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:47, Reply)

How do you do your chips?
My favorite meal my Ma' makes is egg'n'chips, maybe with a haddock in motza-meal too, but it's the egg'n'chips that does it for me.. She double-fries the chips and adds onion when doing the second fry which flavours the oil and gives you cripy oniony bits. She also poaches the egg in the same oil, and it bubbles up and goes crunchy with runny yolk.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:54, Reply)

Depends Gonz.
If I'm being lazy, I'll get 'em from the chippy, if not I'll peel and slice some spuds and cook them in the over with olive oil.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Ahhhh, coolio, I read that as if you had a magic trick to them.
Have you tried "Japanese Seasoned Rice Vinegar" ? It's amazing, got such a nice flavour, it's quite strong and slightly sweet, deffo stronger than malt.

Everyone who I know who has tried it, agrees it's the best one to put on chips.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:59, Reply)

I haven't tried the rice Gonz. I'll keep my eyes open for it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:03, Reply)

You know, when I was walking through Harrods' food hall earlier today
I came very close to a Gonzgasm over the yummy foods.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:05, Reply)

I'll bet you had an orgasm over the wax-work Al-Fayed that is in the shop.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Oh, I didn't see that.
I was revulsed by the Diana/Dodi memorial shrine, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Did you have a wank there as well?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Obviously.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Ahh.. The Harrods' Handjob.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:16, Reply)

The Al Fayed fumble

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:28, Reply)

The Westend Wank.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Soho hand shandy?

(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:36, Reply)

Knightsbridge knuckle-nudge

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:38, Reply)

The Fulham Fumble.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:43, Reply)

I flipping well love that place, and considering how prestigous it is, their food isn't that expensive.
They're not too much more like-for-like more than Waitrose.... but their staff are extremely knowedable.

True story about harrods, my ma' and dad got a cake for a wedding anniversary made by them. They paid nad ordered it a good 8 weeks in advance or soo. The day before the doo, they went to pick it up, and were told "We're really sorry, we have you on the list, we can see it's there, you've got your recipt, but we haven't made it.... but don't worry, it won't be a problem".

Dad said "What do you mean don't worry? We got 50 people coming over tomo !"
Manager replied "Don't worry, just give us your address".

On the day of the doo, they put it with two members of staff in a black cab to our house in Cockfosters (probably about £60 back in those days), the two staff stayed the whole time serving people, and they didn't charge a penny for any of it, not even the cake.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:11, Reply)

We sat in the tube, all the way from T5 to Knightsbridge,
giggling at 'Cockfosters'.

/is very grown-up
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:15, Reply)

I did that on the way to Gonz's
and I'm well mature.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:16, Reply)

There is a road there called "Mount Pleasent" too.
And the minicab office based there is called "CockFosters Cars"... sepporating out the word into two.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:20, Reply)

I know of a Cock Road in Bristol.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:24, Reply)

There's a Dogpool Lane near my old flat
the L is perpetually scrubbed out.
(berk, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Weston has a 'Consenting Intercourse Crescent'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:40, Reply)

That just makes me laugh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:41, Reply)

*wants one8

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:47, Reply)

One of my early DJ gigs was in town the night there was a Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip gig.
Everybody that had been to see them turned up where I was DJing. I bricked it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Oh sweet =D
'bricked it' confuses me sometimes, because I've heard it mean "I was so scared but I still went through it" and "I was so scared that I didn't do it".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

I was bricking it, but I played my set.
Just when you're playing to about half a dozen people and then about 50 show up at once it's a bit daunting.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Sweet, but those numbers seem a bit small to me, but I don't really have a clue

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

actuall lols.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

YO ROCK!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Alright Rory?
How you doing? My Mo Wax collecting has had to take a back seat at the moment.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Still in work :((
What's with the Mowax? I ain't bought anything new on that in years
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

There is nothing new on it, there hasn't been for a long time.
Which means it's now a Northern Soul situation- as a finite series of releases the challenge is to collect them, even the ridiculously rare Toys Factory tie in stuff.

Though I'll pass on Money Mark's solo stuff, it was shit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Well I meant new to me. Wasn't it sold to sony at the end of the 90's and then died a ignominious death
It's pretty much 50 50 in terms of quality. Last I listened was a copy of a rare unreleased (or so called) mix, Japanese or something. I'll gaz you the title, if you ain't got it it's worth having a copy.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Lavelle had a P&D deal with A&M.
Mo Wax never made a penny, but Lavelle got paid a shitload to run it. A&M went bankrupt or got sold or something and Lavelle subsequently shelled out a million or so for the Mo Wax name, released a few more records then it just stopped. I have one of the final releases, Howie B as Skelf.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 21:41, Reply)

woah woah woah
I've just got back, what the hell is this?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

It's OT Captain.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:58, Reply)

can't say I've ever heard of it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 22:59, Reply)

I think the bigger issue here is...
Did you win the quiz?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:00, Reply)

no, but we did better than
the stupid preppy students
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Ask me one of the questions you got wrong this evening.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:02, Reply)

which country does Rose Paprika come from

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:03, Reply)

No idea (well, I didn't until I Googled it).
I'd be rubbish on your quiz.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:06, Reply)

it always has really obscure questions
it's Hungary BTW
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:07, Reply)

So Google told me.
Got a busy day tomorrow?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:11, Reply)

yup
and you can assume that from now until at least october, probably until Christmas. Pretty sleepy. Probably should be asleep and not have just eaten a bowl of sugar puffs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:16, Reply)

right
I'm going to bed. Have a good day tomorrow and I shall make a b4sh decision by evening...probably
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 23:18, Reply)