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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Sorry about that folks
As you were.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:24, 246 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Does anyone know where I can get the new book by James Hutchings?
I was told there were details here, but I can't see them...
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:27, Reply)
Oh look someone has reviewed it...
https://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Death-others-ebook/dp/B005Q8Q8DY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1317368105&sr=1-1
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:36, Reply)
Well, I for one, found that review to be very helpful

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:43, Reply)
Good work.
I was fairly ambivalent about the whole thing, thinking that it was mildly distasteful but harmless, until I just read that thread in full.

What an arrogant, inconsiderate cockturd he has shown himself to be.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Same, what a fuckwit,

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Woo hoo!
I won £46 off a £1 bet.

That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)
In 2005 I bet £10 on Southend to win League 1 outright
at 66 to 1.

They did.

(although in the interests of honesty, it's a ritual, I make that bet every season, but at least now I can do it for 66 seasons and still not be out of pocket).
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)
That last point is not entirely true, is it?
You have long since spent your winnings, haven't you?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)
I hear that AA is going to spend his winnings on 53 kindle copies of Hutchings' book

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)
Fuck that.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)
Actually 100% of the reviews I have read of it have been somewhat unfavourable

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)
Well, yes
I'm now going to go and buy some chips for you to piss on too.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)
Hey, at least I drew the line at speculating what you spent it on.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)
Oh it would certainly have gone on booze and cigarettes.
Quite possibly that evening.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)
Winning the National went on a food shop for me, rock and roll(!)

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)
Probably a slightly better option in the long run.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Very much so
Ah well, I'm going to the abattoir tomorrow, going to pick myself up one of the T-Bones from there, they look fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)

abattoir pep rally
ones irds

/rizzo
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)
You can't make me work that hard this early in the day.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Haha
I fucking hate Grease. Grease 2, is also fucking awful, but it has This scene, which improves it hugely.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Grease 2 is an appalling excuse of a film
For some reason I'd got it into my head that it wasn't that bad until a recent rewatch confirmed my head-wrongness.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)
You still knocked one out over Pfeiffer though?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Let's face it, who wouldn't?
She still looks good now, too, Stardust shows this.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:35, Reply)
I saw a picture of her from the new Tim Burton film she's doing and I didn't recognize her
Mind you, the same picture has Jonny Lee Miller with a comb-over and Johnny Depp looking how you'd expect Johnny Depp to look in a Tim Burton film.

Pics here
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Is that Helena Bonham-Carter? In a Tim Burton film?
What a shock(!)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)
HBC is fucking hot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Yup, still would

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Nice!
I'm still very much in the black on my betting, I've won my bet on the National twice, both times put £5 on, I've won £110 so far.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)
Morning quenders/nonces/virgins/benders
delete as applicable
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)
As you didin't delete, I'm going to assume that you are all of the above
In other news it's friday and it's going to be 29 degrees!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Personally, I'm trying to work out the difference between a quender and a bender before I commit to anything.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)
I'd say Woo, but as I'm stuck in an office all day today, I won't get to enjoy it.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)
How do I delete you?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)
WITH A KNIFE!1!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Oh really?
I've deleted loads of people already in that case.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
wow

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Morning
RoBerto Mancini
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)
good morning bread fasteners

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:12, Reply)
That took me far longer than it should have done to get.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)
obviously you need to learn to use your loaf

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I need your help TF
My friend didn't mind the gap and fell down the side of a tube last night. I plan on reminding her of this unfortunate incident all day by sending her puns about being a clumsy spastic/tubes. But I can't think of many.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)
You could send her discount vouchers for "The Gap"?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Done, good thinking.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)
I did this with an overground train at Liverpool Street
it really fucking hurts.

I can't think of a solution apart from Al's. Maybe accompany the Gap vouchers with an mp3 of (falling) down in the tube station at midnight?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I might ask her if her favourite Micheal Douglas film is falling down.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)
sorry just saw this
ask her if she had a nice trip

LOL
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Are there any tube stations that would work in a pun?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Is she a fan of the German/Italian/Austrian epic war film, Downfall?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Christ, I've just read that previous thread
what an utter arse
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)
I just saw a picture of your face and formed the same conclusion!
Got any interesting plans for the weekend?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Not really, the little one has spent the last 3 days crying so Mrs.Ape is feeling a little frayed
You? Mechabash i assume...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Hardnuts lunch
then seeing where the evening takes me. As long as it doesn't take me near Montys DJing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)
no one needs that much 70s garage rock in their lives

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Well.
Morning everybody. How are your days going so far? Mine has been just peachy. Spent a few hours in A&E with mr b3th, whose heart arryhthmia decided it had been far too long since anyone took any notice of it.
On the plus side, I've never seen anyone treatewd faster in Casualty - straight in, two nurses, two doctors, portable chest X Ray, beepy machine, the works.
Bless him, the thing he was most worried about is that I might have to miss pierbash.
So, yeah. Great start to the day here. Someone pass me a stiff drink, will you? Must be 5 o'clock somewhere....
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)
I hope he is okay.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Did he do this?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
And does he now look like this?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
And do you now like this?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Ha ha.
I believe posting pictures on this largely text-based forum does tend to incur a bit of name-calling.

Just a warning, like.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Not little pictures like that
and not when I'm trying to make someone else happy rather than sell a shit book.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)
No.2 looks like a smug Sean Connery

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Shmug

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Of course he's smug.
He's grown an awesome beard and his hair's gone dark again.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Like this?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I hope that has the words "James Hutchings is a cunt" in the link.
If we do that enough won't it end up being flagged on google?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Damn I didn't think of that at the time.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Hover.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Your brian text is wrong

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Sorted it now.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)
How do you do mouseover text again?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
<a title="James Hutchings Is A Cunt"></a>

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Does that work in general posts as well?
I remember doing lots of posts with mouseover text, but I can't remember how we did it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I'm not sure
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Oooo, very meta.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)
So what would happen
if every body included that mouseover test in their posts for the rest of the day?

I don't really understand how google works.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)
I'm not certain either
I think we'd need more pages to link to this one before google would pick it up fully
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
It would take more than one day for Google to pick it up
And the sources of the phrase would need to be links and be on multiple sites - the more sites the better but without link spamming.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Oh well
not really worth the effort. I do like the review of his book.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Oh dear
Somebody's established the first link.

jameshutchingsisacunt.wordpress.com/

Google loves wordpress.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Whoops, somebody has just tweeted that exact phrase a couple of times from different Twitter accounts

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I'm not going to pretend to understand "Twitter" but is it possible to coin a hashtag or similar?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
As seen here?
twitter.com/#!/Virtual_Pub
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
You're KILLING her.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Seems to be, by the time I left.
His heart rate has come back down to normal levels, which is a plus. Only took four beta blockers. Hopefully they'll let him home again this morning sometime.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:26, Reply)
is he alright?
Is the beepy machine the same as the machine that goes ping?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Fucking hell, hope he is okay
And you are too.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
This^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Ditto
But not B3th ditto
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Morning all
I've just had a disagreement with a cash machine at the Halifax where they decided to restart it just after I'd put my card in.

I politely explained that it is:

a. Payday
b. Friday
c. Sunny

so I would require beer money
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)
How dare they keep you from your beer.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
This is completely unacceptable.
As if throwing the economy down the shitter wasn't bad enough, now they're hindering BEER drinking.

What a bunch of fucking cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Bastards.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)
It would have amused me to see sporto ranting at the ATM though...
This has also amused me this morning (no apologies if you have already seen it): www.b3tards.com/u/087a136807390414c059/307077_2239451517253_1577002095_2150427_480916570_n.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)
nice

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
I NO RITE!
Plus I'm hopefully meeting DG for a pint at lunchtime!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)
You mean no-one bought the book?
What kind of positive, ego-reinforcing website is this?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Morning mate
Should I bet against your lot this weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
I don't imagine that would get you very good odds.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)
It's as close to a sure-fire bet as you'll find mate
However, B3th is right. A bet of £10 on Birmingham to win will likely return you winnings of 50p. However as our season is firmly in ridiculous territory already, try your hand on something like a meteor hitting Lee Camp or the Second Coming in the centre circle.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
£10 would return £32

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Ladbrokes haven't done their homework
I can see the players being sufficiently fired up after the shambles on Tuesday to take advantage of Birmingham's post-Slovenia fatigue and force a boring 0-0 draw... THAT's optimism
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I've got a fiver on the Rapture coming before Forest win a game.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)
We've won TWICE this season thangyewverymush
Four times if you count the Carling Cup!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Yeah, we got knocked out of the cup by Aldershot so we can concentrate on the league.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Same as Man Utd will
It pisses me off enormously that we can raise our game sufficiently to stick 3 past Newcastle and push them to the brink of penalties before losing, but can't be arsed to defend well enough to stop Burnley sticking five past us
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Shuper Schteve.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)
*involuntary eye-twitch*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Southeastern trains
Just provided me with a birthday commute. The fucking cunts.

On the upside, McDonalds breakfast and Krispy Kreme. I love being 38.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Happy Birthday.
I don't know you so I haven't made you a card, but you can look at Monty's tomorrow and image I made something equally funny for you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I look forward to it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Yeah, happy birthday Stunno

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Thanks, man.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I'm looking forward to eating so many spicy poos
that I actually shit myself in the restaurant to make room for more.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
You're their dream customer.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I'm going to take a jigsaw
and cut a hole in the bottom of my chair, and my trousers, so I don't have to sit in my own waste.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Animal.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Happy Birthday mate
My gift to you is the persistent rumour that Roy Keane is being lined up as McClaren's successor.

*something about a frying pan*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I hadn't heard that. Here's hoping.
Mucho gracias for the felicitations.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)
My sister said "At least Keane would be a good motivator"
I replied "So would a fucking Bengal Tiger, and it couldn't be a worse tactician than Schteve"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Hahahaha.
Nothing like a smack in the mouth to motivate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Worked for Cloughie

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Did you hear that DiT got a marathon place?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)
His first choice of Twix didn't come through then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)
He was too busy dancing the Twirl

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)
I heard he was too busy watching Dog the Bounty Hunter

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Then he turned over to ITV4 which was showing John Carpenters The Ghosts of Mars.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:10, Reply)
And then looked into the night sky and saw a Starburst.


Bloody hell, that was weak.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Surely he saw the Milky Way?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Or Mars?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1374345`
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)
It was a long way 'twix Mo and stunned.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Ahem
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1374329
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
That's not a pun though
so...um...yeah...that's my excuse. it's not that i didn't read it properly at all.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)
*coughs and looks embarrassed*
Give me a break, I am hung over to fuck.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I'm the same
Although I discovered a terrible, terrible takeaway treat last night, which I'm craving again. Large cheeseburger, topped with doner meat and an egg.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:22, Reply)
When are you ever not hungover?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:24, Reply)
When he's drunk?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:26, Reply)
^^Pretty much this

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)
If you ever need to talk about this...
I'm something of an expert.


/not sure if it was clear that I am joking...
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)
To be fair, every time I've ever met AA he's been drinking

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Burger with doner meat and an egg?
I think I have said before that you are very wise for one so young.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)
I saw it advertised, and decided I must have one.
It was rather excellent, if a little difficult to eat.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Sounds awesome. I am going to have one tonight.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Good man

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Thank you.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
He'd need very good eyesight
Or a high vantage point. Like the top of a Double Decker bus.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Really? Er, lucky bastard...
...honest. I don't think I've ever seen Ms Foxtrot so relieved as last night.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Happy Birthday you old troll
Bagels on me on Saturday eh?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Are you not around for the curry old bean?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Yeah, I am
I was just propositioning you.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:07, Reply)
*accepts bagel*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Is "bagel" some kind of gay slang?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)
It is with chutney on.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Salt beef and gherkin!
Phwwwoar
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Fucking hell
The Cure are playing at the Albert Hall in November and the standing tickets were £125 and they've all sold out. Now, I like The Cure probably a bit more than the next man, but no band is worth more than 50-60 quid surely?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)
You are correct
I'd shell out over the odds if Faith No More did a reunion gig, but anything over £50 is taking the piss
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I don't think I've mentioned recently
seeing them in Brixton in 2009 and again a couple of days later at Download. Being right at the front, crowd surfing to We Care A Lot.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Oh dear
I appear to have accidentally clicked on "ignore" and set fire to your house
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:14, Reply)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I'll get you, djtrialrpice, if that is your real name, which I know it to not be thanks to your sister
AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!!!

This is nothing to do with Roota, am just quoting FILM. Bent film. Come on, that does sound like something I'd do.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Are you quoting from a musical?
I bet you are.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Don't feign innocence with me sunshine
Everyone's seen The Wizard of Oz

Wicked is better
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Musicals I have seen/heard:
Sound of Music
Joe's Garage
Edit: and also Jason and his gay coat

Musicals I have enjoyed:
Joe's Garage
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)
I was pleasantly surprised at the prices
for the Brixton academy when they reunited a couple of years ago - £41.00 all charges!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Yay, awesome gig huh?
I loved their cheesy entrance with the cover of reunited.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Fucking amazing :D
I was front left, about 8 rows from the front. Been waiting to see them for a long time. Did you see them at download?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I was front right for both Brixton and Download
I was touching the barrier at Download, such an awesome day.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Awesome! I was quite far back for Download
but it was magical hearing people singing along to everything. Did you hear they're playing King for a Day in entirety at a music festival in Chile? ;_;

www.topix.com/forum/world/chile/TOTPM5MO264SS5T63
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)
My favourite album!? (by FNM)
Some of the early metal tracks on that album are complete vocal chord rippers. Mike Patton is amazing to be able to sing it all one after the other.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)
You're just a big povvo

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)
You love a bit of rough when you come down from your country estate.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Faw-faw-faw-faw-faw
What larks eh?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:14, Reply)
"Rah rah rah, we're going to smash the oiks"

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)
That's what he sings before he smashes my back doors in.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I thought it was the song about God and Yes
You know, the one in the shed.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:22, Reply)
No, only Roota and I sing that one.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:24, Reply)
~_~
Just for that, I'm going to completely sex-up DiT's wife in front of you until you've learned your lesson.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)
It might take a while for me to learn my lesson from that
but please, don't let that stop you trying. I do need to be told.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)
I'll do it again and again until Flim and I agree you've
had enough.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)
It's the only way to be sure.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I thought it was oiks.
Edit: oooooh ninjaring bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)
They're dire.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)
I'm choosing to ignore this comment
since you are clearly still asleep and will remain so for the next 13 and three quarter hours.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:14, Reply)
I can't believe it's been a year already
Looking forward to all the threads again tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Last year was quite entertaining, I admit

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)
They do it because they know all the fans are in their 30's and 40's and will pay it.
It's a 300 quid night out for 2 people.

You could go ape on MD's for that!!!!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)
You could insure my house for a year.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Rock and roll, Al, rock and roll.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Couldn't insure your health though
you obese chump.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:22, Reply)
+loverage

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:27, Reply)
I've had him on ignore for 5 years plus.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)
You're way ahead of the curve
You're also missing some quality trolling
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)
I can't bear him.
He's such a spanner.

EDIT: Resident Loon, racetraitor and Bert Monkeysex are the 4 I have on ignore.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)
I fucking hate The Cure.
Bunch of tawts, they can go do one with their mascara and cats and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)
You weren't THERE Gonz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Thank christ.
I would have smacked that robbert person square in the mouth and said "MAN UP, BITCH. LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE A BLOKE AND YOU'RE WEARING MASCARA. GO DO ONE" and then gone to the toilet and scrubbed my knuckles with boiling hot water to wash out all the Gay on them.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)
I'm afraid you couldn't be wronger if I'd just caught you conkers-deep in a goat.
The Cure were very good.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Haha!
Excellent turn of phrase
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Saw them at the 02 arena a couple of years ago.
They may have been very good, they may have been awful, but the shitty venue with its shitty acoustics make it impossible for me to know.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I wasn't there or anything, but I would bet my last penny unless they were doing cover songs of Semisonic and The Offspring, that they were shit.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
You must have been at a different venue
because the 02 has fantastic acoustics.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
The arena?
Well in that case they were shit, because it sounded awful.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:30, Reply)
I have a question for you computery type people
Yesterday I convinced myself I needed a new router as my current one is over 4 years old, so I've gone and ordered a new TP Link one.

Was that a massive waste of £40? Or will I actually see some form of benefit?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Does your old one still work faster than your net connection?
Does it not drop its connection regularly/noticeably?

Then yes, you wasted £40.

Signed,

A computer science doctor.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Oh bum.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I'm not sure if my old one is ADSL2+ though.
The one is. Surely that makes a difference? Surely?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Routers generally have speeds far in advance of residential internet connections
I doubt you'll notice a difference.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Is your line ADSL2+?
What kind of speeds to you get through your current router? Do you have 802.11n capability? Does your router have this?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Stop bringing facts into this
I want Al to cry into his gaping £40 hole.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I don't know?
How would I find that out? Virgin did something to my line a year or two back to make it faster, but I don't know what it was. Could that have been them doubling my ADSL?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Well, the fact you have Virgin answers the ADSL2+ question - nearly all ISPs
have this, just a few old decrepit ones don't.

Are you connecting via laptop or PC - your adaptor (built in or dongle) should give you an idea if you can get 802.11n. The Wifi Sticker will either be B/G or B/G/Draft-N or B/G/N.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)
It's B/G/N

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)
I'm connecting via a desktop and a couple of laptops
My laptop is about 5 years old.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Then your laptop probably doesn't have a wireless N card in it :)

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)
But, the part of me that likes to be a bit futureproof reckons that if I get a new laptop
I will be able to have my internet in my back garden.

Right?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Faster wireless doesn't necessarily mean greater range
that's down to how good the antennae is and how much electrical interference is between you and your internet-capable barbecue.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I hate computers.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)
THIRTTTTTTTTTTY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIGHHT

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Ouch!!
You know your words hurt, right?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I can probably give you a proper answer if you want
but I'd need the models.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:26, Reply)
The old one is a Netgear DGsomething something
The new one is a TP Link TD-W8960N
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Oh, those old DGsomethingsomethings, yeah I know those.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)
They're both 10/100 so you won't notice any increased cable speeds
and that's machine to machine routing inside your LAN. The only thing that'll affect internet speed is your cable connection into your house.

It's wireless N, which I imagine the old one isn't, but again, you'll only notice a difference from machine to machine. Your internet will be slower than wireless G.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Why will the internet be slower on wireless n?
And, and, and, ADSL 2?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Wireless G is slower than wireless N
I just meant that your internet connection is probably going to be slower than them both.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)
ADSL2+ is just a fancy way of saying they're doubling your bandwidth, basically.
You don't need anything special to use it on your end.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Really?
So my IT support guy is lying when he says we need to upgrade our office router to one that's ADSL 2+?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)
I don't know about lying.
He probably means that the router can't handle the bandwidth that ADSL2+ is capable of delivering.

Companies typically have much larger connections than home users.

Edit: it really depends on how old your work router is and whether it can have its firmware updated if it is old.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Can you explain bandwidth to me using an anaolgy that is probably innacurate?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)
It's a relatively simple concept but comes with a fuckton of variables that complicate matters.
If you've got a 1mbps connection and you're sending a 1mb email, it shoudl take 1 second to send. If you're sending a 2mb email over a 1mb connection, it'll take two seconds. If you're sending 0.5mb, it'll take half a second.

If you've got two people sending 1mb emails over a 1mbps connection, it'll take 2 seconds because the bandwidth gets split between the two things.

The old electrical analogy of a garden hosepipe could still be used, only the more water you put into it does not come with a subsequent increase in pressure, it just takes longer.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)
Now can you explain to me where babies come from?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Oh it's ok, I think Himjim has done that below

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)
imagine fibre optic broadband is as wide as TGB vagina
dial up is as tight and The Luggage's, I hope this helps
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Imagine a hosepipe that runs through a pump (the router)
The pump can only go at a certain speed. If someone increases the pressure of the water in the hosepipe, the rate of flow coming out of the pump will be the same because it can only go at a certain speed.

Getting a bigger pump is the only way to deal with the increased pressure.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Okay, I think I sort of understand.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)
The other thing worth explaining is that the hosepipe itself is owned by Thames Water
and so it fucking leaks. That's why they tell you you won't get that maximum bandwidth if you're any distance from the nearest exchange.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I think it might be this one:
www.google.co.uk/products/catalog?hl=en&cp=10&gs_id=12&xhr=t&q=netgear+dg834g&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1440&bih=710&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=5113624221522242262&sa=X&ei=vo2FTtzYOKPS4QT37NGeDw&sqi=2&ved=0CHkQ8wIwAQ
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)
I'll also write a poem about death.
Death woke up in the morning; and had his coffee.
Because really he was a normal bloke, who likes his toffee.
Death woke up in the morning, it was a sunday, his day off.
Because really he had a normal job, so he pressed 'snooze' and scoffed.
Death woke up in the morning, and had a querky habit,
Beause everything I've written here, is ripped off from pratchet.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)

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