Morning all
I'm gonna drop this here like a beery fart then probably fuck off as I have 8% battery left

My back is better! Woop! About fucking time too

Sunday lunch. Meh. I'm totally bored with it. Takes ages to cook. What new things can I try, bearing in mind Mrs Cow is picky?

Alt:
Tell me about both the rock and indeed roll happenings of your weekend
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 6:48, 215 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I had a bread roll at the weekend
if it'd had rock in it I'd probably have taken it back to the supermarket. I think that's the closest I got, to be honest.
(berk, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 7:50, Reply)

Needs MOAR raised eyebrow

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Age & parenthood prevent a rock and roll lifestyle. Mine's more nappies and colic at the moment.
Am kicking off a job search today. Don't want to be sole MD of the company now the chap I was joint MD with has left.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:02, Reply)

Could you not promote?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Not really. Plus I want out anyway. The creative directors (the ones who come up with the ideas for the adverts) are a pair of cunts.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Did you start this business?
Are you not entitled to shares/payoff/money?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I sold my business to theirs earlier in the year. I have completed the earn out period.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I made chilli and chorizo mackerel with a gorgeous, er, sorry, but gotta call it a 'jus'.
Served it with little crispy skin-on spuds, broccoli and mangy touts.

I also got pissed at a funeral with karaoke, and went to a gig and got pissed again. So I'm still a tiny bit rock & roll. Or maybe just pebble & sway.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:15, Reply)

Funeral with karaoke?
I take it all inappropriate songs weren't offered, as I can't see 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead' going down too well.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Well who does that on karaoke anyway? It's shit for karaoke.
Nothing was inappropriate. They're a very 'spirited' family.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Very true, it was just the first inappropriate song that came to mind.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I can't liiiiiive, if livin' is without you...

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

If the deceased had killed themselves by gunshot
Filter - Hey Man Nice Shot
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Also, 'jus'?
You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sounds damn nice though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

What's wrong with Jus?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

She's northern, it should be gravy or nowt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

That sounds "fucking nom"
I had a brain fart on Saturday when cooking a load of mixed mushrooms. For some reason I squirted some HP Guinness sauce into the pan. It tastes fucking amazing! Them with cheesy scrambled eggs on brown toast.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

If I'm frying mushrooms to have on my bacon sandwich, a little lea & perrins is wonderful

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Yeah, I used to put that on them when roasting them in the oven

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I've started adding a little butter to the pan when I fry them too
And wondering why I never did this before.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

You have to have butter when cooking mushrooms!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Aye, I know that now.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Went to Shrewsbury for a mate's birthday
had a few beers, went to a cocktail bar, 4 young ladies met up with us but then before they'd even ordered a drink one of them said "I don't feel well" and passed out. Ambulance called and off they all toddle with her. So we got very drunk on Old-Fashioneds.

Sunday was spent feeling sorry for myself.

she was fine, it turned out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Fucking hell, that's a bit mental

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I seem to remember being told she's a few months pregnant
So I doubt she was planning on drinking (much). But obviously you don't just "get her some fresh air" and then carry on.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Ahh, I see

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I was born in Shrewsbury, a little fact for the PsychoChomp fact fans.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Good quality sausage casserole
Can be cooked within 40 minutes, or you can cook it for hours on end, your choice.

Alt: Friday was truly croissant worthy, my ex came over (she's been away), bringing me pizza and beer. Then, some naughty time, before she got a headache, and went home. I did point out to her that she was meant to complain of a headache to get out of sex, not after it, but I don't think she understood me.

Saturday wasn't too bad, spent the day relaxing, before heading out at night with some housemates & workmates. Had a couple of drinks with them, before heading off to a different pub with my friend. Had a few drinks there, then headed home in the pissing down rain.

Sunday was a bit dull for the majority of it, spent half the day on my 360, before having a night in with some films and a few friends, as well as quite a lot of booze. A good end to a great weekend.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Sounds like a good 'un!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Aye, it was rather!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I went to shrink, to analyize my dreams, she says it's the lack of sex that's bringing me down.
I went to a whore, who said my life's a bore, she says quit my whinning 'cus it's bringing her down.

\m/ (^-^) \m/

Green Day Day Today.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)

I need 3 more emails until I've got "12345" unread emails, true story.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)

I meet a northern tranny the other day, that's right, s/he had a Wigan address.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

You probably just met barryheadwound
Please don't tell him I said that
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I bet they're all from the same stalker.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Could Agnostic Antichrist please give Gonz his login back?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:44, Reply)

If you're a carnivore, try something vegi.
Lentil, cheese and spinach loaf is nice, with a vegi-sos toad in the hole, and the usual roast vegis and greens.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

This will not work
You underestimate how fucking picky Mrs Cow is
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Spam on fucking toast then.
Meh, wimmin.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I try not to eat processed meat,
on the grounds that it's one step above cat food, tastes of grease and salt and is linked to all sorts of nasties, strokes blood pressure etc.
I do like the occasional Doner Kebab though, but rarely.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I can recommend any one of a number of things but they're all vegetarian
No idea how to cook meat properly any more.

Alt: went to London yesterday, had a couple of pints with CQ who was bloody lovely, then went to see VNV Nation who were fucking brilliant. Randomly met a couple of Dutch girls who were there for the gig. Neither one was a prostitute or a dope fiend. Or wearing clogs. Disappointing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Recommend away
I need some new ideas
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Roasted butternut squash, garlic mushroom and wilted spinach lasagne is a personal favourite of mine
Ms Foxtrot does it with sheets of kombu to make it gluten-free
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Fucking hippy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Do you know how to improve all vegatarian recipes?
Put some fucking meat in it!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Good point. Now where can I find some ham?
*sharpens carving knife*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Ooo I know!
It's a bit soggy though :/
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

recipe
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

A meat injection.
Works wonders.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Morning fella

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Morning mate
Good weekend?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Aye, fairly
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Nice one mate
Needs MOAR breasts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

3 days, 3 sets of breasts
I'd say I did OK.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

So you gave a pregnant sow one, over 3 days?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Nope
However, any more information would class as boasting, and would make me look rather pathetic
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

You can tell us at the bash,
when you're pissed and falling around :)
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Haha, this is likely anyway
Looking forward to it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I meant pictures
Well done though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I spend too much time sleeping for a rock and roll lifestyle
Anyone would think I was a student.

And back to sleep I go
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Morning Wet Ham Man
Still under the thumb?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Aye
But probably not as much as a mate of mine who's just got engaged after going out with a girl for only a year and almost certainly never having had sex with her what with them both being of the bible bashing variety. In fact we're all pretty certain he's a virgin so it's probably his cock that's lead to him getting engaged, lol
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Oof, fucking hell
I'm still highly amused at the girl in my school who was famously anti-premarital sex, to the point she'd tell others off about it. First week at University, she slept with 3 blokes.

Seeing her in the pub the next time she was home was simply brilliant.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Haha
She was probably only against it cos she couldn't get any. Then she went to uni and all that changed.
Fancy telling others off for doing it though. Bit of a medaling so and so it sounds like
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

She was a complete cock
A really unpleasant girl, who'd look down her nose at you, because she was christian, and you weren't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Well being like that isn't what the bible teaches
So she was being a pretty crap Christian
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Aye, I know
At one point, I was a member of the CU at school. The rest of them were really nice, but she was just a complete bitch. At one point, we were arranging to do a year book, all we needed to do to get it started was to get permission from the head of year.

Unfortunately, on the morning we were due to present it, I had an orthodontist appointment, so the girls did the presentation for me. I had set up everything, including precise printing costs, turnaround, you name it. Any fucker could have secured funding for it, but according to the others, she just fucked it up, pointed out that in her opinion it was too close to exams anyway, etc, so the school said no.

Fucking bitch.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Some people are just arseholes
And use religion as a sort of excuse that gives them a right to be an arsehole and tell people what they should and shouldn't do
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

The thing is, I've spent a lot of time in the company of christians.
I've found the majority of them to be decent people, friendly, etc.

But I still remember all the ones I find to be complete arseholes, and I can't help but find it tinges my judgement of others.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

My mum's christian
And most of my friends in school came from christian families and were/still are christian. But I've never had anyone be a dick about it. Apart from my mum and her disapproving, "you're going to hell" routine. But that's cos she's my mum and genuinely believes that I am and wants to stop me ending up there cos she cares about me, lol
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Haha
My Dad is a part time Reverend, and ran his own church, once upon a time.

He is everything I hope to be later in life, kind, funny, intelligent and loving, with a very dark sense of humour.

Just a shame that there aren't too many others like him
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I got home a 5am on Saturday
and had to leave for work at 10am, still drunk. I ended up sleeping in the dowstairs bar for a bit. I was too hungover to even have a Bloody Mary :(

Saturday evening I died at my brother's house and yesterday I spent the day pottering about with Monty and catching his cold. I don't want to go into work at all today.
( wanderlust, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

That sounds rather shit :-(

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

It wasn't the most fun I've ever had at work.
But it's my last week there this week so I should just get on with it knowing I'm going to be escaping soon.
( wanderlust, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Woo!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

where you going?
Can I come too? I fucking hate my job
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)

I am going to be working in a lovely pub in Marble Arch.
You should come, my new boss has a beard and is very nice.
( wanderlust, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Beards are excellent.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I thought you were going to work for a woman?
I must be confusing you with somebody else.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

ooh ok
*starts planning new journey to work*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Is it bad that I've just realised it's Monday?
So that's why you're talking about the weekend!
What day it is means nothing to me as I work any day, it varys
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Well, that's McDonalds for you

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

I wish!
Free burgers! No free burgers where I work :'(
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Only after closing hours

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I am in the dog house with Mrs Battered.
We are using airmiles to go to Boston for Christmas to stay with her sister. The way the availability has worked out (as we are travelling out on different days) means she has to go premium economy (which isn't bad) but I have to go first class.

Understandably I am about as popular as dog shit on the sole of a pair of trainers.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)

This is why you should always lie to women.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

ugh god women are fucking shit
it's not "oh thanks for sorting that all out Battered and using all your airmiles for me" it's "wah wah wah bitch bitch"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

He won't be able to hear her in the hold anyway so its fine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

and the fact she'll be on a different plane.
On a different day.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Go on, spoil it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

+ being attacked by snakes.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

in the boobs

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

To be fair she is paying for the flight taxes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

with money from your joint account?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:23, Reply)

No. We don't have a joint account.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Nicely done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Why does she have to go premium economy?
Couldn't it have been the other way round? Sounds like you've only got yourself to blame for your unpopularity
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

AVAILABILITY ON DIFFERENT DAYS

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I see
The furthest I've been on a plane in N. Ireland so I dunno about any of this
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

We are travelling on different days. No availability in economy on any day, they don't like you having babies in Club and won't allow them in First.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

well it's understandable
it's a bastard to get the placenta smell out of the seats
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Well it's understandable
because they make such a fucking racket.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Oh, she's got a baby with her!
Then I don't see how she can moan if that's the best section she could go in anyway
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

It's more the point that I am in first as premium economy is fine.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I've never even seen the inside of a first class plane section.
I'm jealous.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

You're welcome
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I wish I could afford to fly anything other than pauper class.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

If it wasn't for the airmiles there is no way I would be in first.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I'm still a bit disappointed I never got to fly on Concorde

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Me too.
was in the lottery for the final set of tickets but nada.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Oof, gutted

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Details of BA first here
www.britishairways.com/travel/first/public/en_gb
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Holy shit, they give you cake!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

From what I can remember from previous trips they give you really comfy pajamas too.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

So they'll let you have babies in club, but they don't like it?
Well surely the appropriate response to that is "Fuck you, I'm paying a fuckign fortune to sit here, unless you actually say I can't bring the baby then you'd better start pandering to my every need.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

having been on holiday with my nieces and nephew
on several occasions, i think a good compromise would be to drug all babies up to the eyeballs before the little cunts are allowed anywhere near a plane full of people who don't want to listen to 8 hours of screaming. or maybe ball gags. that would stop the screaming but not the smell of nappies. hmm.

maybe they should have baby planes and just shove all the kids on them together? people could pick them up from the conveyor belts at the other end.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

There should be smokers only flights too.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

and hot topless rugby player flights
i would happily push the duty free trolley on that one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Carling don't make plane reservations, but if they did....

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Indeed.
I am lucky to have that amount of airmiles tbh. Collected them when I was travelling a lot for work years ago.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I am having a Snickers for breakfast
lolfatty
( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

where is the mighty badger?
weirdly, despite not having met him, and not having seen more than a fleeting pic, i had a- dream about him last night.

sunday lunch - nut roast FTW. with mustard sauce.

weekend was great but i feel like shit today, fucking tonsillitis. anyone got any ideas on how to make it stop hurting, given that eating ice cream at my desk all day is sadly not an option?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Go home, you nob.

( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

hahahahahaha
you should see my desk. i will be here til gone midnight every night this week.

well, apart from thu, when i am going to see rihanna. and fri, sat, sun, when i am out. but you know. pity me in theory.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Go home.
You nob.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:32, Reply)

not optional
i have this exact same row with my boss every time i get sick! except that he doesn't call me a nob, he just looks scary until i get scared and scuttle off. but i always show him. i always take about 10 files home with me. ha!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

If your boss says it's ok, it's ok.
Pass on what you can't do from home. Do from home what you can do from home.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

we have one off on holiday
and one in court on a trial. bad time to be ill! anyway i'm fine, just in a lot of pain - i don't have a headache or anything, just the fucking throat.

you don't realise how many times a day you swallow until it feels like you are swallowing a fistful of broken glass every time!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Fnar

( Kroney, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

i am in monstrous amounts of pain
and that turns you on?

sadist.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

That won't stop the pain though
At least there are people to take it out on at work. I suspect Swipe needs an audience when she is unwell...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

can't risk it
my boss would send me home. a lifetime of the world's least sympathetic parents means that being ill is the one thing i can't dramatise.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Deepthroat one of Kroney's dildos
That should help.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Nut roast!
*puts head in hands and sighs in dispare*
*mutters, "bloody hippy's on here today"*
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

She's a veggie, and a terrible one to boot
Banned her assistant from having bacon, terrible bitch.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Banned someone from having bacon!? Is that legal?
Wait, she's not that girl from the christian union at your school is she?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Haha, nope
Yep, he wasn't allowed to have it anywhere near her.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

NONE
of my trainees are allowed bacon in the office. it reeks. they can have it in the staff restaurant. if they really want to eat rancid pig fat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I think you're secretly jealous
No one can resist bacon, not even vegimentalists
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

nope
it's the one thing that broke all my friends back when we were teenage veggies. but i am the strongest type of veggie there is. no principles... just fussy. i hate the fucking stuff. therefore i shall never ever eat it.

however, IF something goes horribly wrong and i ever have a kid, it will be made to eat meat as part of a healthy diet until it is about 15 and old enough to choose responsibly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Mmm, rancid pig fat

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

nom nom nom
Rancid pig fat taste guuuud
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Why am I hearing this in the style of Leeloo?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Penicillin

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

yup, totally
but it'll still hurt like a total bitch for about 3 days. i normally alternate lemsip with reeeeally cold drinks to try and stop it, but wondered if anyone had any better suggestions?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah, 3 dys is about the time it takes for the antibiotics to kick in for bacterial tonsilitis.
If it's viral you'll feel shit for a week or two, if you don't take antibiotics you'll probably feel shit for a week or two.

Unless of course it isn't tonsilitis and you've just got a bit of a sore throat and a case of the snuffly wufflies. In which case MTFU.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Aaaand there's my first click of the day.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

nah, this bitch is tonsillitis alright, i've had it before
i get it about once every 2 years, nowhere near enough or badly enough to have them out, just enough to give me a reeeeally miserable 3 days. it feels like i've been deepthroating a mach 3.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Try any old antibiotics you have knocking about the house.
If they are the right sort, they will work quickly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

but i want the pain to stop NOW

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Isn't that a bit like saying
paint that scratch on the car with any old paint, if it's the same colour it will match?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

No.
Nothing like that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

In fact, dont' even bother checking if they are antibiotics, just start necking any pills you have lying around the house

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Obv check they are antibiotics and prescribed to you originally.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Or blue
If they are blue it's fine
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I'd be concerned that, if you're the sort of person who doesn't finish course of antibiotics, despite it being critical that you do so
that you are probably the sort of person who doesn't keep their antibiotics in a suitable place i.e. not in the bathroom where the humidity can rapidly cause the active ingredients to degrade
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

He keeps them in the sweets cupboard, where the kids can reach

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Who ever finishes the course?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Winners

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I'm confused
Because on Mike Tyson's Punch Out it used to say "Winners Don't Do Drugs"
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Golfers

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I do.
*takes last anit-biotic in the course* for all the good they've done me. :(
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Not worked on your ear ache?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Not really
It stopped hurting but still deaf and all other symptom persist. Might be beginning to see the other side of it now (nearly 2 weeks in) Off to the docs in a bit, hoping they can stop me being deaf at least.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Pardon?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Ear doesn't hurt but is still deaf.
I have what feels like a heavy cold, which I assume is related to the ear infection as it's lasted two weeks, anti-biotics have made no reall difference. susupect it's viral.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Clove cigarettes

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Best suggestion so far
Smoke yourself fitter.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Super un rock and roll weekend
I think you should cook the time honoured, Michelin starred chef worthy Super Noodles
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Did you get anything nice for your birthday?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Not really
My parents are buying me clothes, but I've asked them not to do it until I've lost weight. Apart from that just the usual stuff- DVDs, books etc. Oh and my favourite one because it is completely bizarre as a present. My little brother bought me a Rupert the Bear calender
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Awwww, how sweet.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

He put quite a lot of thought into it as well
ordered it on the internet and everything
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I found a shop (well, say 'found' it's fucking huge and famous, I just didn't know that) on Kings Road that sells root beer, PayDays, Tootsy Rolls and GoldFish Crackers.

It's not very Rock and Roll, but I have to take my pleasures where I can these days.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Man, being teetotal sounds awful
It is for this reason that I have taken care to avoid alcoholism. I wouldn't want to live without nice beer.
Sorry, this isn't making you feel any better, is it?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Ha. It's not so bad really.
It's better than the alternative, I assure you.

And I really, really like Root Beer, so...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Started drinking Crabbies with Morgan's Spiced Rum.
Which is nice.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

JD with Crabbies works quite well too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Crabbies was a right disappointment
Not ginger enough and not strong enough
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Nice as a mixer though.
Not a patch on the Jamaican Ginger beer tho, with half a bottle of rum to the the can ratio.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Man, I want some proper strong ginger beer now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I was surprised at how fiery the Morrisons' own brand ginger beer was

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Bloody hell, what have I started here?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Same old story eh scarpo?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Tootsy rolls rule!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Had my tattoo filled in over the weekend.
Although this morning when trying to put Savlon on it, I got it mixed up with the anti-histamine cream I keep around for bug bites.

Oops.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Tattoo arsehole
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

That counts though, doesn't it?
Can he tear up his v plates now?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Only for taking, not giving

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)

So does he still need someone with 3 or more years experience alongside him?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:41, Reply)

along in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Yeah, why not.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Bloody typical of you lot.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

We're nothing if not predictable

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Aye.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Bee.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Cee,

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Eff

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Off!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)

oh!

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Anal
Jesus, I can't believe this thread's been open for nearly five hours and nobody's made the most obvious joke...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I can't believe this thread's been open for nearly five hours and someone else hasn't started one!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Started one what?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)

A new thread
This one is dead
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Is it?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yes

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Perhaps it was too obvious to notice.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

He specifically asked for new things for Mrs Cow to try

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)

It's passed me by.
Unless it's 'She can't be that picky, she married you'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)