Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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FAQs: /board and /links worship them like gods, but in these hallowed corridors they are less relevantSo what would you say are important FAQs for /OT?
alt: Is clothing on an animal ever acceptable?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:18,
264 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I was making it clear for our friends in the Norththey haven't eaten for 2 days and have no shoes
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:21,
Reply)
This is nonsenseI have just this minute eaten my shoes
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:22,
Reply)
I've just had a sausage sandwich, I'll have you know.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:22,
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Is this another Foxtrot reference?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
No.These were lovely pork sausages from the butcher in Rothbury. Not a scudge of fat in them. Fucking nom.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:29,
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NiceMy Halloween soup was nice, but it was not sausage
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:30,
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Just having breakfast eh?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:24,
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*looks at Davvo's feet*Sausage, you say?
And where are your shoes?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:24,
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I'd never eat my shoes.They cost good money you know.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:31,
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Good. I always had you down as a smart man, Davvo.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:34,
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I travelled around a bit when I was younger.Therefore I don't have fully developed northern povvo instincts.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:37,
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Q: Where do I go if I lack talent and am not funny?A: Off Topic
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:19,
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Q: We welcome you with open armsA: Silly Mike /OT is not an animal
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:20,
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I don't know what's going on here.Read the OP dewd.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:21,
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Q: I'm a girl and needy, where can I be guaranteed replies to my shit posts A: Offtopic
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Q: I want to set up a comedy account and have it make no impact at all. Where can I go?A: You can go die in a fire baldmonkey you shit spastic ballbag.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:27,
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I like this.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:32,
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Hey hon, your posts aren't shit.*proffers link to b3tards*
Verily, you must post us your breastage and we shall pander in small type so as not to totally creep anybody out.
*sweats*
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:32,
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*does that thing where they drag their arse along the floor*I know all the moves 'Chomptastic, Old Chap'.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:36,
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I dont think we need a FAQAlt:
Hats for dogs FTW
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:23,
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There are questions that are frequently asked on hereI have yet to see one that could be considered important.
Alt: Perhaps I have a heart of stone, but I do not find animals cute. Clothed or otherwise.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:23,
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What about a little monkey, like really small, yeah and it's got a flower stapled to its head?(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:24,
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Q: Is an FAQ necessary for QOTW and OT?A. Fuck no, as previously whinged about: www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post351636
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:24,
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Are you saying that Apo's question about FAQs is a FAQ?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:25,
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I'm saying "down with this sort of thing".(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:26,
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And that's merely one reason why that FAQ was wrong.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:27,
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The only things of any use to a newcomer would be explanations for all the memes and in-jokesPar example:
"Who is this Bert person everyone keeps telling to fuck off?"
"Why is everyone so obsessed with autism?"
"What purpose does that Quentin cunt serve? Is it OK to call him a cunt? I've only been here five minutes and he seems like a cunt"
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:25, Reply)
I quite like figuring it all out when I poked my nose on here originally(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:27,
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If a newcomer stumbles in here without lurking for a while to work out what's going onthey deserve everything they get for being stupid.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:29,
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Oh this^I lurked for many a month
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:29,
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I was watching several posters for years before I dipped my toe in one evening(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:30,
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I wonder how many people lurk around here?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:32,
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That seems to have worked well, I feel(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:36,
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*checks*I only have one person on ignore
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:38,
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mortal wombat yeahapparently. I think he was posting massive pics on here
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:45,
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Oh that's fair enoughI've only ever had one person on ignore, then I decided it was daft; unlike MW, it was someone who was contributing a lot so I was missing stuff
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:51, Reply)
We get on a bit better now though eh?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:56,
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HAHAHA DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THEREI totally PRETENDED I still had you on ignore when I never have HAHAHA
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)
I waded straight in like a FOOLand got the full treatment. I would therefore agree with your assesment.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:31, Reply)
I was going to question whether there was such a thing as a newcomeras lurking is the usual method of (not)joining in, but you have challenged this viewpoint.
I, on the other hand, lurked for far longer than was really healthy...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:33,
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Why?Think of it as research
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:35,
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MaybeOr like sitting in the corner with friends and not joining in to their conversation
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:36,
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I'm blind OK?Don't fucking rub it in
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:38,
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I find the idea of all the shite on here being read out to you in a Hawking voice by your blind-man's computerAbsolutely hilarious
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:40,
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Is this not what normal people do then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:37,
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lurking on here is weirdI used to lurk and read board and QOTW, but that makes more sense i think...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:35,
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Depends on how long you do it forOh...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:35,
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Erm, I'm with Chompy on this one, actuallySomeone who lurks for months on end can wade into conversations armed with knowledge about the participants - "So, Monty, you're skint because you take MASSIVE DRUGS, and I understand you, Mr DogFucker, make bad jokes!" - and they know nowt about that person. If that happened IRL you'd be well freaked out
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To be honest I've been here since the beginningand I still have no fucking idea what's going on.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:35,
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It reads like a drunken night out, most of the time(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:44,
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We have two slices of Black Forest Gateaux leftYou want one?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:30,
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*squishes into envelope*To:
Martin, 32
Norwich
NR1 8OY
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
I couldn't think of an addressBe glad of staying 32 though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:39,
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I just wish I'd been on telly ten years earlierAlthough I probably wouldn't have fared as well then
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:41, Reply)
I had spicy red pepper hummus and pumpkin seed flatbread, chicken and mucshroom tagliatetti and a raspberry and cranberry yoghurt for lunch so I'm fine thanks(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:34,
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I had pumpkin and red pepper soupIt was also nice
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:35,
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I've just had some strong black coffee and now I'm about to shit meself(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:36,
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i was on a webinar but i'm not any morei don't like the wor dwebinar, it dunt sound right
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How manwor Dwebinar is canny
/is aware that DG may be the only person to get this
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:42,
Reply)
yeah, bit sleepy mind, webinars are long aren't they?bit dull yeah. you?
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:44, Reply)
I don't like webinars if you don't QuentinI'm cool though, cheers for taking an interest.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:45,
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Internet friends are just the best of all the friends(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:47,
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yeah, we should team up on runescape and then we could rul;e the world!or summat
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:50, Reply)
I don't know what that is Quentin, I'm sure it's cool if you like it(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:53,
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Y'see it's these little exchanges that make me think that you are Quentin, Rory.But this confuses me because I often find you amusing, but I never find Quentin remotely funny. But, as I often fail to notice "thats the joke" or summat.
Also, you both appear to have posted at about the same time in this thread, but that could just be your slick internet skills.
/is a rubbish detective
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:58,
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I'd never stoop to a sock puppetI just say to your face
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:00,
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You were much younger than I expected in your photo(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:45,
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On that previou thread...the photo thread(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:47,
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The kid with the acdc t-shirt?I've never really listened to acdc, troo story
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:48,
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I think there was a lovely pic of a mong(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:49,
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1413920
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:49,
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I actually expected that to be a pic of me there(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:50,
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I would expect nothing less(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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Oh right, that's umm not really 'me'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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You can easily change your t-shirt then*ruffles hair*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:54,
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The only question people need to know for off topic is why we bother.(
girlinthehole, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:47,
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Wut?QC's bin offering us all a chance to sniff his fingers for 50p on that other secret thread
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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Yeah, but he's 'guaranteed' quim juice, what are you offering?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:54,
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I can offer the same and fresh from the bucket so to speak.(
girlinthehole, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:55,
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Cor, for an extra 7p she might let us have a Barry moment too(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:57,
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This^The overall value goes up and down but every day on here gives me a genuine laugh
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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I quite enjoy the drunk shift in the evening(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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I rarely get the chance to read it but it is good when I doI miss JTDF on here during the day
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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I hope you are the truth fairy,because if you are it means you're losing it a bit.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:53, Reply)
is there a truth fairy?wtf do you leave under your pillow for that?
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:54, Reply)
If you've been laughed off every other board, if you feel there's nowhere else to go and if you can find it.Perhaps you can hire the OT-TEAM.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:53,
Reply)
This is very trueI can't be bothered to try and understand /talk so as to join in, /links is pointless for chat, /board is beyond my capabilities and /QOTW is where the real retards hang out
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
Believe it or not there's been people laughed off the ot board as well(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:58,
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Fuck me, you don't know what a latl is?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:11,
Reply)
A gentleman never reveals his secretsand by secrets I mean cock
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:13,
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your cock is a latl?is that like a cross between a little and a lot?
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Just bend over and we'll talk later(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:16,
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I'm thinking of the great Hood Butter debacle(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:02,
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Was he actually laughed off?I missed the whole shebang and only caught the replays.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)
He never showed his face round here afterwards, that's a result I'd say(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:14,
Reply)
Is he not on the moon in his spaceship with all his supermodels?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:19,
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Based on the self-aggrandising nonsense he posted I'm not surprisedI couldn't help but think he was expecting everyone who read it to fall at his feet and apologise
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:19, Reply)
It did scream of INTERNET VALIDATION(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:20,
Reply)
Ludicrous way to go about itOne of the first things anyone should learn when posting on an internet forum is that banging on about how awesome you are is only ever going to elicit negative responses
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I like to think they are laughing with me(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:03,
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You cut me deep, wor sporto(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:06,
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Awwwwww*feels the warm glow of internet validation*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:14,
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*squeezes head under arm**knuckles across head*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:14,
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why did faith no more do a cover of easy like a sunday morning?i like it even less than i like webinars
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Because it is brilliant, that's why(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
it's not as good as the originalor weven the michael bolton cover, or any other cover, it's just poor
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 15:59, Reply)
nah it's really not very good, it sounds just like the original only sung less well(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:01, Reply)
If e'er there was a ringing endorsement of a song, your disapproval may well be the definition thereofFNM's "Easy" is probably the clearest-cut example of a cover version being comprehensively better than the original that I can think of
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)
All Along the Watchtower/Monty
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:04,
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Agreed.Especially the Beatmasters remix.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:08,
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YeahI love the Enjoy the Silence remix on there too. It is fucking excellent
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:09,
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I've got pretty much everything Depeche Mode ever did, in one form or another.Up to the singles from Exciter. Then it's just albums after that.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:12,
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Just got the remixes albumIt is good
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:12,
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I bought the second one a while back.It's not as good as the first one.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:28,
Reply)
The Live Lounge cover that Pendulum did of The Catalyst is superbAs is Lostprophets' Cry Me A River
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:15, Reply)
YepI know, it sounds like a horrible combination, but somehow it works really well. I don't think they were taking it entirely seriously, which helps.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:18, Reply)
Another good exampleAs is Marilyn Manson's mental version of Rock'n'Roll Nigger
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Even Dylan acknowledges thisand usually performs the Hendrix version.
You better have meant the Hendrix version and not the U2 *spits* version, because if you didn't...
*shakes fist*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:08,
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I wasn't aware that U2 had done it!Dylan cannot sing at all either. Hendrix can, a bit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:09,
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I'm not going to enter into a debate about thisI'm just going to say that Dylan can sing (or rather could, bit ropey these days)
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:12,
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i'm not going to speak to you until you confirm whether or not you carry a gay licence(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Young Darth, I take your 'Easy' by FNM and raise you a 'Higher Ground' by RHCP.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Shamefully, I have to agree with Quentin.it's a poor cover of an already piss poor song. That said, the boy has taken to listening to fucking clubland mix CD's and they're utter fucking rubbish. Especially the covers. The strapline should be "making already shit songs ten times worse".
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:03,
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:06,
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what else done tyhey did?Are you from the deep south?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:05,
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i liked that song they did about loving there love in different sizes(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)
and that one about rotterdamnot sure why they chose rotterdam thoug, not a lot there excpet some dutch
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Because Rotterdam is anywhere, anywhere alone(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:10,
Reply)
I liked it when they split up, never to inflict their turgid, ear-bleeding shite on the general public ever again. (
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:09,
Reply)
did they do any others?there was sizes and rotterdam, and the bird looked a bit lezzy but yuo still might
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:11, Reply)
If only there was some kind of internet search engine available to find this information outHang on, I'll Google and find one for you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:12,
Reply)
Ya had a little time and you had a little fun, Didn't ya, DIDN'T YA?(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:34, Reply)
To make money like shameless music whores?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:07,
Reply)
What type of shoe does Mark Morrison prefer?I'm guessing a wingtip
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:09,
Reply)
Not that I'm an expert but I see it like this./board is fine but can be confusing as it is one big bandwagon memefest. There is a lot of cool stuff there but if you're new to b3ta it'll take a while to get used to + WOO YAY etc...
/links has a few regulars but there isn't much going on.
/talk isn't as bad as everyone makes out but can be a bit like deliverance if you don't know what's going on. "Open your mouth boy, you sure got a purrtee mouth...."
/QOTW can be GREAT but the amount of sheer lying/noncery and just cuntery is staggering.
/OT is a funny place. You do a lot of what the other boards do but in a sort of coke zero fluffy kitten kind of way.
If I were making a FAQ I'd say new users should come here first.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:25,
Reply)
/OT is where b3ta puts the worn out posters to pasturebefore they get taken off to be shot and made into glue.
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Kroney, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:29,
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b3ta home for the aged.SPEAK UP DEAR, MY MOTHER WHAT?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:31,
Reply)
In a moment of dance-purist frustration during SCD on SaturdayI commented to my girlfriend that we should offer Alesha Dixon to any glue factories short on horses.
My VEGETARIAN girlfriend.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:31, Reply)
is this an unsubtle go at poor misunderstood PERSONALITY HORSE?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:37,
Reply)
In other news, really enjoying the Beach Boys SMiLE+Sessions (just the 2CD for now)
Truly one of the greatest albums ever made IMO , and probably the most aesthetically appealing.
OP- This is the best place for noobs IMO.
Alt- I don't approve.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:38, Reply)
Assuming there's not another SMILE session that I'm not thinking of,that's not even the best album that band made!
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Pet SoundsAgain, this is based entirely on the assumption that you're on about Brian Wilson
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:48, Reply)
That would be my 2nd favorite....Its subjective but Smile gives me more pleasure.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:54, Reply)
In which case I would ask you to amend your original postto "Truly one of my favourite albums of all time".
Pet Sounds is better.
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Yeah you did really well when you arrived(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:44,
Reply)
So well that Quentin was accused of being him by at least a couple of peopleNo common personality traits, just crushing ineptitude
(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:50, Reply)
if you don't have a gay licence i'm going to have to report you to the proper orthorities(, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 16:54, Reply)
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