Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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fish mitteni see in the news that people have been returning handbags to m&s because they stink of fish. which really does have to be one of the worst stenches ever. so... best smell? and worst smell?
i'd have to say: tangy aftershave on a man's neck and eggy farts on the hot, sweaty tube. the latter being the fucking rudest thing you can do.
alt: i am dealing with the 50th set of rent arrears in liverpool this year. people in liverpool do not pay their rent. what cliches have you found to be true?
alt alt: what is going wrong with the counter this morning then?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:52,
194 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I like the smell of clean babies and old books.I hate the smell of meat pies and the gym when it's full of men.
Alt: Merkins really don't get sarcasm that well.
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girlinthehole, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:55,
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Mmm tasty meat pies.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:56,
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oh god yessweaty man stink in the gym is awful
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:56,
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I don't mind a bit of BO on a partner but a room full of them knocks you for six.(
girlinthehole, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:57,
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fresh sweat is manlythe thick fug that engulfs you if you go to the gym after work is just rank.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:59,
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Depends which end you smell really(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:58,
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I'm off to see Aber in January.I can't wait to have a good sniff of her baby.
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girlinthehole, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:59,
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i was worried it was too subtlei should have known that i am never too subtle
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:02,
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i am too subtle for naked apehmm. hardly a ringing endorsement of my delicately barbed wildean wit, is it?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:08,
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So's your face.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:11,
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best smell: desperationworst smell: The fat sweaty hippos arse that sits next to you on the bus and stinks like they haven't washed in a month b ecause they sat of their "cleaner boy" and now can't reach into their fetid pockets of flab.
alt: fat people smell
alt alt: It's got AIDS sorry to be teh bearer etc
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:57,
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That reminds me, I used to have a client in the Jobcentrewho constantly smelled like he'd shat himself and then ground the contents of his grundies into his buttocks just for good measure. He used to have his own special seat that would be wheeled out pre interview, then sprayed with air freshener and locked back in the cupboard until next time.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:01,
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I once walked past some tramps in Niceit was 30 degrees and they were all wearing shit and piss encrsuted clothes, I nearly ralphed there and then.
in fact i change my worst smell to tramps, dirty buggers
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:04,
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Oh God yeah.There was one in a pub in Newcastle a few years ago. He HAD actually shat himself, as you could see it plastered all over his jeans and up his back and also had sick in his beard. Why the landlord didn't throw him out I don't know; it was one of the most offensive reeks I've ever come across.
*bokes at the memory*
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:06,
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Your face is wrong.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:09,
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I love the smell of matches being struckI have no idea why. I hate the smell of bleach
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:58,
Reply)
I love the smell of cannabis.I smoke much, much less than I used to but even if I were to give it up altogether, I will always love the rich and pungent aroma of good quality derp. I also love the smell of pipe smoke - it reminds me of my grandfather. He died of throat cancer, irony fans.
Alt: African men frequently stink of B.O.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:58,
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With you on the pipe smoke.My father in law smokes a pipe and the smell is heavenly.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:03,
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And so's your face.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:12,
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dude who gives a fuck about his face?it's his posting that sucks
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:15,
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I don't, I just like responding to his wrong comments with the phrase.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:17,
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I hate the smell of pineapple as it makes me retch.Best smell, I'm not sure but the Caribbean fish stew we had at the weekend smelled absolutely glorious.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:58,
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So's yer face.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:07,
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My office smells of bacon sandwich as I have just eaten a bacon sandwich and bacon is a good smell.
The worst smell is some type of tall pink flowering plant that grws in damp areas and smells of decomposition and death with a hint of milk. Milky tea smell is a close second.
Alt: I'm going to go with the "love is blind" cliche.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:01,
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Your face, etc.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:09,
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Best smell; cooking steakTo say my appreciation of it is heightened by its rarity would be a massive understatement.
Worst smell; blocked drains, vomitus, petrol, queef.
Alt: women with huge tits love talking about them, even when they claim not to like said tits.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)
And so's yer face.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:08,
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Good steak smells magnificent.Also, how was your steak?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:17,
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petrol (but it dunt smell as good as it used to for some reason?) and baconfucking hell shit boring cunt fuck awful bollocks
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)
what is the best and the worst smel?best: rachelswipes tears of bitter chunky LONELINESS
worst: rachelswipes massive sweaty growler
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)
fail on:humour, spelling, grammar, actually being either accurate or offensive, and interesting.
you're shit and you know you are, you're shit and you know you are...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:13,
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hmmmmposting 2,000 things on the internet in about 2 days is a sure sign of someone with a great job, social life and relationship. it surely is.
i feel sorry for you now.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:26,
Reply)
member for 7 years, 9 months and 18 days
has posted 2 messages on the main board
has posted 39 messages on the talk board
has posted 0 messages on the links board
has posted 925 stories and 17546 replies on question of the week
and your here on those lonely winter evenings too aren't you?
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:28, Reply)
and your supposed to have a GODD JOB of soliciting or something aren't yopu?(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:29, Reply)
so i average 6 posts a dayand you average 16 posts a day
hahahaha you either have a shit job or are unemployable.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:30,
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you'll never get a better job with language like that, shitjob(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:45,
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i have an excellent job, working with great people, i've not complained on here about it oncemrs chasing scousers for rent is my life
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:47, Reply)
course you do, sweetheartthat's why you're illiterate and flooding a board on the internet with nasty tedious comments to strangers.
for the record, "chasing scousers for rent" is actually a global plc and the rent owed is about £2,000,000 and it's a donging great dispute involving 3 parties and the council. now go and flip those burgers, shitjob, that £10,000 a year won't earn itself.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:54,
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Petrol no longer has lead in it.And the fact that you liked the smell of it so much when it did explains so many things.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:19,
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nah but even in the last few years it seems to have a cleaner smell?(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:21, Reply)
Good smells: someone else making the cooked breakfastBad smells: dog shit
Alt: Women are mental.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)
Face.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:08,
Reply)
counter thing is cos pricky boyce pricked up editing his post so it pricked the pricking countprick(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)
I'll second that aftershave thingnever underestimate the power of nice smelling men. Mmmm.
I work in a lab. Some of the stuff we have in here smells like you wouldn't even believe, I'm talking insta-retch, nearly passing out kind of reek. And no, I'm talking about chemicals, not my colleagues...
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)
i apologise profusely but it would appear that you areFUCKEN SHITCUNT WRONG MOTHERFUCKER
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:10, Reply)
As is your face.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:10,
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and determined to get the world record for number of posts in a dayaren't we lucky to have him?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:14,
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ugly mentals who can't make friends offline gathering to discuss lunch?you didn't miss much treacle
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Ah wellI had a good evening regardless. But next time, eh? If you let me know in enough time I can sort something out with work!
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:31, Reply)
DMSO and DMS for the minging win.Although we used to grow a Strep strain that needed sheep blood meal in its media, that was fucking vile.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:12,
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I used to fucking hate running reduced gels because of that.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:16,
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Oh, sweet jesus, mercaptoethanol, I'd actually erased that from my mind it's so fucking bad.Cheers for that.
DMSO on its own is bearable but if you get anoxic transformation into DMS then it's fucking evil.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:15,
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We only ever use it for freezing cells downso none of that, I don't think.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)
yeah, some cells will do that transformationso when you defrost them .... it's mingtown.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:17,
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The worst thing I've ever smelled in terms of chemicals was sulphurSo I assume yours is far worse, and as such, you have my sympathy.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:13,
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In my new job we also have to culture stool samples so that we can test them for presence of typhoid. Oh. Dear. Sweet. Jesus. I actually hold my breath before going in to that incubator.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:17, Reply)
"Welcome to the shitcubator"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:18,
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Guns 'n' Roses' disappointing followup etc(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:19,
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Gahhh, fucking hellI really struggle with the smell of sick, no idea how in the hell you're able to go that much further.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:19,
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I quite like the slightly musty smell of second hand records and books.Hash, but not weed; curry or generally garlic and other spices being cooked; about 25 years ago there was a place in town that sold coffee beans that was down an alleyway, I used to love walking through there as a child.
I can't stand the smell of most perfumes and aftershaves, quite apart from the fact that they make me sneeze and cough, I just don't like them.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:10,
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Your face is incorrect.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:12,
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The smell of a chippy is a lovely one, and I quite like the perfume of one woman in the office currently.Worst for me is coffee, I hate that.
Alt: Less attractive people are better kissers.
Alt Alt: Fuck knows.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:13,
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I do eat a fair amount of bacon, but I wouldn't say I AM bacon.Nor am I petrol.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:15,
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pretty sure you mean AND, but implies that you were going the other way(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:21, Reply)
you forgot cowardlythat is quite important - if you want to be rude to people, tell them who you are. otherwise you're even more pathetic than someone who just wants to be rude online in the first place.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:28,
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apparently solicitors have one of the highest suicide rates of any professionjust saying
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Best smells: frankincense, dogs, lush shops.Worst smells: sweaty men, vomit, peppers.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:21,
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You are wrong in every conceivable way about Lush shops.They are hideously nauseating and make me want to rip my own nose off.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:30,
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Even when walking past them, the smell is vile.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:31,
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It really is.My ex dragged me into one in Kingston, many years ago. After five minutes I had to go and stand outside as the stench was making me feel sick.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:33,
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Lush shops are ok when you walk past thembut going in gives me a blinding headache and makes me feel like an asthmatic. TOO MUCH SMELL.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:33, Reply)
Gives me a headache too.As does the smell of strawberries, for some reason.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:34,
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I'd love to work in one of them. But yeah, you can smell them from two streets away. Not great if you don't like them.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:37,
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The staff in there are too fucking friendlyI thought one of the girls in there was trying to pick up my ex from right underneath my nose. Is it too much to ask to be treated with some honest, British contempt when I go shopping?
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Kroney, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:41,
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what's the most confusing day in Liverpool?fathers day.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:23,
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Your face is shite.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:29,
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It's funny because it reinforces stereotypes.LOL ROFL
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:31,
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hahaha and scousers are pikeys and that and hillsborough etc and they beat chelsea(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:32, Reply)
What do you call a scouser in a suit?The accused.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:30,
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What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night?What are you looking at?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:32,
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What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit?The Bride
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:34,
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Whenever I was down the Crown Court in Liverpool they still turned up in trackies(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:33,
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One of the nicest smells around is leather. Also, perfume. Nice perfume applied sparingly is extremely distracting.
Ammonia's a fucking awful smell. It makes me gag. I'm not a fan of bleach, either. Cleaning chemicals have a very particular smell that sets me teeth on edge.
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Kroney, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:34,
Reply)
You do know that you're not supposed to brush your teeth with Cif, don't you?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:35,
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But it says right on the bottle 'for use with enamel surfaces'(
Kroney, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:37,
Reply)
Ah yes, the socks and sandals lookand the lobster-red skin, and ill-behaved children.
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:48, Reply)
How the fuck can Thomas Cook owe nearly a billion quid?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:43,
Reply)
i dunno mr i narrowly avoided bamkruptcy, how can thomas cook owe nearly a billion quid?(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Do they?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:45,
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Apparently. Makes my sixty grand look like fuck all, eh?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:47,
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that's all quentin's going to earn in 5 years thoughdon't mock it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:48,
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I've just had a look.Christ on a spacehopper.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:49,
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thing ispeople pat themselves on the back with glee when they save £100 by buying online. which is understandable for the individual, but fucks over the travel agencies - and they employ so many people and have so many premises rented on the high street etc.
would be a massive problem for landlords and employees if TC went down.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:51,
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I'm not going to feel sorry for companies with outmoded business models though.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:53,
Reply)
Travel Agents tend to fuck over the hotels and apartments as well, though.The people who's apartments we stay in on Kos were with Airtours, until they realised that they were being paid the same flat rate per night all season, but that Airtours were hiking up the cost of a package holiday to ridiculous levels depending on when the peak bookings hit (i.e. school holidays), and they weren't benefiting from it.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:54,
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They sound like mongs in fairness(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:57,
Reply)
Sixty grand? Fucking hell Monty, it's worse than I thought. How the fuck....?
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)
At one point I was forced to pay my mortgage on a credit card.That alone was nearly four grand in as many months. Once it starts spiralling it's amazing how quickly it gets that bad.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:56,
Reply)
It's done.I have a repayment agreement with my creditors that is fucking painful but just about doable. For the first time in ten years I should be able to live within my means. It's fucking shit.
Thanks, by the way.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:00,
Reply)
Five long years.At the end of that I am obliged to remortgage my home and pay them a lump sum. Then I am free to start doing it all over again.
Hopefully I am jesting here.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:18,
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I hope for your sake that you are too.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:22,
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Too many Thomas Cook holidays, I'll wager.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:56,
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I did go to Cyprus and to Skiathos on borrowed moneyas my ex asked me along so I could spend time with my daughter. That's another couple of grand of the total.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:58,
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I have never missed my rent, you slanderererer.(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:54,
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technically it's libelslander is spoken. and i promise you i didn't say it out loud.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:55,
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you studied law for 5 years for that?fucks sake, pissing my taxes up the wall
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:56, Reply)
yupyou must pay a whole load of tax, what with that great job you have.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:59,
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the last one was asianthe new one is white
neither of them are orange
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:28,
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How much do you earn Quenty, gaz me, then swipey can gaz me and I'll call a winner(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:04,
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last quarter was in excess of £250,000, split between me and my business partner mind(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Must be hard watching them swan off with 245k every quarter(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:10,
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Cor, you're like that secret millionaireI've got a donkey sanctuary that really needs a secret benefactor
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:21,
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And that's just what he declared for taxes folx !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:22,
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How much would you sort me out for a photo of my bumhole ? I'll even stick anything that fits inside it. Could even do video if that helps.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:23,
Reply)
put a pug in there til it suffocates, i'll give you 4 grand and write it off as a charitable donation(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:27, Reply)
finally, something genuinely funny from youbecause every high-earning self-employed entrepreneur sits around on b3ta trying to annoy random strangers.
hahaha.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:27,
Reply)
is there anybody here trustworthy enough for me to give the name of my company and my real name etc?a credit check could easily sort this out.
Business is practically running itself these days, we've done alright through the recession and I didn't set out to annoy, its just a bonus
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:29, Reply)
there is literally nothing you could saythat would prove you are anything other than a burger flipping shitjob.
for a start, who wants a business that is doing "alright" and "running itself"? if you have the nous and ability to run a decent company, you make it bigger and better. you don't sit back and go, "aaaaah, bit of cash, now i can fuck around online all day."
now, off you pop, your break is over.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:30,
Reply)
Fresh washing, manliness, baby's heads, Christmas, my cat's fur.(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:55,
Reply)
I got a mate who bought a handbag from a market stool and it stank for months of weed. She didn't notice 'till she got home though and it was a really nice bag that she wanted to keep. When she sprayed it with stuff, a few hours later, it went back to smelling of weed.
Bet you it was used to smuggle drugs into the UK.
Totally just signed all the paper work for exchange which should go through this week for completiion in 2 week's time. OH GEE OH GOSH OH ME OH MY.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:15,
Reply)
Late reply is too latethe worst smell, would be from a summer job I had many years ago having to clean the inside of a sanitory towel incinerator after it had been broken for a couple of weeks,
(, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 13:43, Reply)
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