Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Just got back from a grateful dead covers band. They were shit.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 6:13,
184 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Unlucky.Even the Dead themselves were patchy at best.
Bit like Noel.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:37,
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How dare you?My mane is as leonine and lustrous as it ever was.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:40,
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Hello young sir.I do not have tonsillitis - it seems I am a hypocondriac of sorts. I went to the doctor last night and was out of there in 30 seconds.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:42,
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The doctor I saw was called 'Dr Brownleader'which sounds to me like a term for a bummer if you ask me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:45,
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Martin Luther King going incognito, innit?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:46,
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Ah, you big girlI can't talk, I've got an ulcer and I've been complaining about it for days now. It's only a fucking ulcer, for fucks sake.
In other news, I'm not entirely sure whether to be amused or disgusted by something I just read on PETA's site - "Sophie has been vegetarian since age 7 after being approached by an animal rights group in her local town and informed of the cruel and unimaginable ways that animals raised for food are treated."
Hang on, a group of people approached her about animal cruelty at age 7?! Fucking wankers. Also, what an annoying little pain in the arse, to turn veggie at an age where it seems that the rest of her family were omnivores.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:45,
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Animals deserve everything they get.Given half a chance a cow would eat you and everyone you know.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:47,
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Never give the fuckers more than a quid myself.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:51,
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"Thank you for your daughter, she made a delicious roast. Here's $5 for her."(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:52,
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1. Ulcer: stomach or mouth? If the latter, pull yourself together, man.2. If anyone approaches my daughter in the street when she is seven I shall run the blighters through immediately. Then eat them.
3. Vegetarians are bent.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:48,
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MouthI know it's pathetic, but it stings like hell whenever I eat, and is just frustrating.
I agree with your approach to 2).
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:51,
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Morning Montyhaven't seen you around for a bit
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:45,
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Alright thankshope you're feeling better now
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:07,
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I'm not, really.I'm such a rubbish bloke when it comes to ailments though.
Light cold = terminal AIDS etc
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:09,
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I'm not sure what part of 'Grateful Dead covers band' would have led you to expect anything different really.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:49,
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I think The Dead are america's Personality HorseMassively shit and pointless but people pretend to like them for some odd reasson.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:56,
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I think you'll find R.E.M. have had that covered for years sweetheart(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Learning to Fly is a cracking tune!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
Agreed. Congrats on the good news by the way, unless it does pave the way for McClaren
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Aye, about fucking time too!Hughes or O'Neill?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:20,
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O'NeillAssuming that the coffers haven't slammed shut, he'll flounce if he's not given money to spend. If you can get him, you really fucking should.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Yes but your favourite song ever is Fog on the Tyneso your opinion is null and void. Bit like your groin.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:26,
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But.....it's all mine, all mine?!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:32,
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Erratum.I can name five superlative LPs of theirs without batting an eyelid - I can probably also name further 20 shit ones, mind you...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:04,
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I had one and a half bottles of red wine last night and I'm not hungover.It's freaking me the hell out.
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girlinthehole, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:56,
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Two bottles or more and I can feel it the next day.Because I can't swallow without recoiling in agony (yes, ha ha swallow - you know, SPUNK!!!!1!!!), I have only managed to drink 1.5 beers and eat three bowls of tepid soup since Sunday. I'm feeling a bit 'concentration camp' this morning, and not in a good way.
Boo, but also, hoo.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:59,
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I couldn't finish a single beer.The shame is so hard to bear.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:03,
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Tribute bands are a fucking waste of time.Nowaysis, Stoned Roses, awful. The two original bands these cover were cack too.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:57, Reply)
Thanks for that, 'Captain Insight'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 8:59,
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Now hang on a fucking minute.What about that wanker off Talk's Pink Floyd Tribute band? You know, Mr helicopter and 'mature model' dater who can have sex WHENEVER HE LIKES?
You know, the worst person on the internet ever - even including Leslie Grantham?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:02,
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I quite like Rebecca Black's attitude"Listen to my music!"
"Ok, just because you don't like it, no need to slag it off."
"Come on, now you're just being mean!"
"Alright, you lot can just fuck right off."
Tis quite entertaining.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:05,
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There's a reason the reception to the song was so mean thoughShe makes Justin Bieber look like Janis Joplin
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Here's worsewww.youtube.com/watch?v=7DwT_2QQU64
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:22,
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I can't remember how I heard it in the first instance, but I linked it to my friendThe delayed response was because I had to go back through facebook to find it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:26,
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Isn't there a law against people that ugly being allowed on the internet?(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)
He waves his hand in front of his face and says "You can't see me"It's an even worse version of the people's elbow.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:50,
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Nope. That awful man is infinitely worse.The Kwik-Save Michael Eavis wanker.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:05,
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There's a tiny part of me that almost admires himGetting the internet so completely, hopelessly wrong is almost impressive.
Lol jk WHATACUNT
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Indeed so.And he should be forced to wear one of their t shirts at all times, to save people time when meeting him for the first time.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:11,
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I've seen some good ones.Not spectacular, but they cost a fiver and played in croydon which the originals never would have.
Not quite a cover band but Beatallica are one I like a lot.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:03,
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ExactlyThey are fine when they are in small venues at low prices. They can be really good fun. When they start charging £30 a ticket like The Bootleg Beatles do, it's taking the piss though.
Still, I guess people are willing to pay it, so they probably get what they deserve.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:06,
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Market forces, innit.And I suppose in that particular case it's a close as you'll get to seeing the originals, still, a. It silly really.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:11,
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I did once see the awesome Dread Zeppelin,who covered Zep stuff in a reggae manner, and whose lead singer was an Elvis impersonator.
Sounds bad, but it worked.
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I remember them!They were bizarrely OK esp Black Dog.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:08,
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I can actually imagine In My Time Of Dying working really well as a stoner number(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)
I might see if old Tuggers can get me their LP, actually.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:13,
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Work stuffAlso he realised he been less than subtle about some things that could have come back to fuck him up.
I'm still in regular email contact with him. One of the best B3tans ever.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:19,
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No way man.I've used up all my paid sick days until 2012 so if I have any days off sick I'll go bankrupt. COOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:27,
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Paid sick days? Your boss really is a tight cunt.
My first six months of sick are fully paid. The 70% for the six months after that. The rest is insured at 80%!
You want to get some benefits, mate.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:31, Reply)
I get THREE paid sick days.THREE. I love working for Hebrews, I really do.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:35,
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I get ZEROZERO. I hate working for Turks
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:44,
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yuppersLuckily I'm made of AWESOME and don't take sick days
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:56,
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16?!Fucking hell. All self inflicted?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:10,
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I love a bit of Dread Zep Me.It's an inspired combination.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:12,
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I've got that album somewhere, Might have to dig it out.Definitely the most fucked up thing in my music collection.
Although Primus comes a close 2nd.
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Mine is 'Space Hymns' by Ramases.He was an army PE teacher who went mental and decided he was an ancient Egyptian.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:54,
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o man, i just changed my name to a christmassy one and your putting a dampner on it :(((((, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)
He means the fat darkie in the chopper.Sorry to be the bearer etc.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:31,
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I'm taking my little penguinny mum to see Happy Feet Two next week(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:26,
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Me too, but my mum wasn't too keen on that, she loves Happy Feet(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:28,
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If you say verily or proffer owt you're dead mate(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:37,
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i'd verily like to proffer my penis verily into any of your willing receptacles profferlyproffer veriliy verily proffer POIDH
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Go to the Clearasil shelf and wait for a customer, then.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:32,
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"Getting called thick by Quentin is like [very something] calling [not as something] [something]"(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:37,
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i dodn't ask you cunt, just cos you work in liverpools only library/lap dancing club(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Who is your favouritest band?Is it the successful UK rock band Personality Horse?
I hope it is the successful UK rock band Personality Horse.
I'd be made up.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Chrome tells me the PH web site has insecure content.Looks pretty sure of itself to me.
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That was probably some sort of freudian slip on my part.By which I mean, NO! Since their debut album in 1972, Personality Horse have had hit after hit.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Yeah cause the new album is out soon eh?By album, I mean one song.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:53,
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It's a sixteen track concept album.And it only has two tracks left to record.
Just as soon as we rebuild the studio in the new year, we'll be all set to release it.
Also, I meant it before, gaz or email me your address and we'll post you a signed band tee.
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I want a signed band t-shirt!(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:57,
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Shit.Maybe we'll have to do a compo for it.
I'll see what we can do later today.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:58, Reply)
OkIf we have to draw stuff then I'm probably not going to win :(
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:58,
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If I win, you can have the t-shirt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:02,
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That's a good idea."design the back cover to forthcoming free-to-download concept album Graham Tapes"
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Is baldmonkey ever going to come back?I'll gaz you once I've moved house. Fucking better be soon or so help me I'll strangle that partner of mine.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:57,
Reply)
Same thing for him.It's shit over there lately. Probably be back later.
In other news M from Personality Horse has been hospitalised again from ODing on rat poison.
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He should really start getting his vimto from a proper dealer.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:03,
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He's had problems since we were at school together. In the sixties, I suppose. He's always been experimenting with various substances to get high. But I'm worried that this rat poison phase could be the death of him.
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He needs help, he really does.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:12,
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OKAY!baldmonkey hasn't really left.
I just got a bit bored of it over there.
I'd prefer to have some conversations for a bit.
Instead of endless ranting about not being able to have conversations.
/talk's just a bit shit lately.
I'm only not logged in as baldmonkey over here because that account is banned from QOTW for being a prick over here in the past.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)
See I wasn't sure if it was you or TH that done this account.Lots of people have come back to /talk.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:02,
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This account could, potentially be either of us.But it's usually me.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:03, Reply)
but wouldn't both of you say that?i mean, you'd both refer to yourselves as "me".
don't think you can fool us with your tricksy ways.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:04,
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Does it really fucking matter?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:05,
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of course it mattersi need to know which anonymous stranger that i'm never going to meet is at the other end of these critically important pixels.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:06,
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It's Janet Jackson. Better?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:08,
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There's one, sorry two, Janet Jackson songs I like but shhh, don't go spreading that around.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:10,
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i'd prefer michael jacksonfrom beyond the grave
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:10,
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You enjoying it on OT then?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:04,
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Yes.I'm preferring the speed and the lack of "EVERYTHING YOU SAY YOU LIKE I WILL SAY IS SHIT" and "I'M GOING TO PRETEND TO THINK I AM BETTER THAN YOU", when clearly; everything I like is ace and no one is better than me.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
And the distinct lack of the same memes that are raped to death time after time.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:09,
Reply)
Hang on... are you saying all the good people are coming back now I'm not about?I resent that.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I have no idea if that's why they're back. If so, some epic lurking there.But no doubt they'll all get heckled back off again.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:06,
Reply)
Just did an ego-search. Can't help but notice that certain people are still "DEFINITELY NOT UPSET" about the diddlio thing.(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:19, Reply)
It's not mentioned every day at all. Nosiree.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:20,
Reply)
I'm so NOT UPSET that I can't stop telling everyone how UNUPSET I DEFINITELY am.(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Actually, fuck this. I'm bored of this conversation now. This is exactly the sort of wank I got bored of on /talk.The end.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
It's as if some people just can't get their heads around it at all.A JOKE!!?!?!?! ON B3TA?!?!?!?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:23,
Reply)
I don't know that I'd call it a joke.It was just lying for the sake of it. Out of boredom really.
It was made up as we went along.
It was the most interesting that board had been in a year or two.
We're heroes.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:28, Reply)
surely the clue was in the fucking titlereally bobby!
i don't know what to do with my fingers now there's no question. erm. i have to go to a fucking black tie ball tonight, there are no words for how much i CANNOT BE ARSED.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:02,
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Wear a balck tie. Christ, it's not that hard.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:07,
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silly markit's not the black tie, it's the hanging around with a bunch of bald middle-aged lawyers sipping warm white wine in uncomfortable heels and making polite conversation and generally wishing i was in the pub getting cunted.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:10,
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Just show some cleavage and talk about yourself.You'll be like a pig in shit.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:11,
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you do know i don't really do that in real life, right...it'll be all: "strikes" "house of fraser guarantor decision" "latest round of appointments to the bench" "reinstatement of death penalty" blah blah
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:14,
Reply)
Okay, fine. If it gets boring just dance. Look the most boring fucker in the eyes as he's talking then just hold up your hand to his face and do the safety dance, or walk like an egyptian.
Fuck it. PAAAARRRRRRRTAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:19,
Reply)
the image of me doing this at the most staid function in the cityis actually making me officeLOL.
ooh. time warp.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:35,
Reply)
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