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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What's your favourite hedge?
What's your favourite brand of shampoo?
What's your poison geezer?
What's the square root of fuck all?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 18:52, 238 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
My grandma's hedge was quite nice. Tall and springy so I could push my sister into it.
Head and shoulders.
Wine
Fuck all else
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 18:56, Reply)
Thanks bbz.
Mysteries SOLVED.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)
No worries hon.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:08, Reply)
I don't ever use shampoo.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:01, Reply)
What, ever? How is your hair not greasy?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:03, Reply)
Nope, never.
Dunno how it's not greasy, it's pretty short though. If I use shampoo it goes all floppy and soft. Without shampoo it looks much better (I don't use gel/wax either).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Grim.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:14, Reply)
I don't know how this works
But you don't have to wash your hair to keep it in good order, apparently.

Look at all them Berts in the olden days. They all had glossy flowing locks without the intervention of Lever Bros..
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:20, Reply)
Did you uphold your 100% record in 'Dam then?

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:09, Reply)
There are no actual brass houses in Amsterdam, they're all just small little booths.
Although we did get chased by one after we stood outside her window pissing ourselves laughing at her for ten minutes.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:12, Reply)
Why? In what way was she humerous?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:14, Reply)
Because she was massive and casually washing her fanny with a flannel in full view of everyone.
She told us "fuck off, stop laughing and shouting at me, I have to live here".....the 'live here' bit only fuelled the laughter further, then her and a brass friend came out and ran after us for a bit as we all struggled to not burst from laughing.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:24, Reply)
So clean fat people are funny?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:25, Reply)
I'd find it funny and a bit repulsive to see an unattractive person cleaning their genitals with a flannel in plain sight.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:27, Reply)
I'm pulling your chain young lad.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:28, Reply)
They're all knocking shops
They put the spare one in the window to attract/repel trade.

Shame on you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:16, Reply)
Not the ones we saw. They were all little booths with beds in.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:22, Reply)
Easy, compact destruction
Those buildings are tall, lad. What do you think is upstairs?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:26, Reply)
what are you, plod?

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:02, Reply)
Hedge? Well not fucking Hedge Funds, to be sure (although they've lost me less than shares.)
Shampoo - comes in a green bottle, dunno what it's called
Poison - Rat
Square root of fuck all - a bit less than expected.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:08, Reply)
Vosene.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:08, Reply)
I've just been compelled to check
Herbal Essences, it's called.

Makes me pelt all glossy, like.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:11, Reply)
I did notice your shiny hair the last time we met.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:13, Reply)
I'd varnished it for the occasion

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:17, Reply)
Herbal Essences?
You massive fruit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Nah, that would need him to use Fructis
Or whatever the fuck it's called.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:19, Reply)
Rather Fructis than Quendal Essences.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:22, Reply)
I found some of that herbal shampoo in a hotel room once.
I don't know what was so herbal about it, I thought it was quite nice, actually.

/probably only works if read in a Geordie accent.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:28, Reply)
That stuff's mixed and filled about 200 yards from my desk at work.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Mine
Herbal essences
Red wine
0.523
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:19, Reply)
Herbal Essences is winning on our poll (geddit?) so far.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:23, Reply)
I actually vary my shampoo but at the moment it's head and shoulders.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:24, Reply)
Your other brands include....
Knees and toes, knees and toes. And.... eyes and ears and mouth and nose...
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:27, Reply)
Oh Jeff!
You mischievous scamp.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:29, Reply)
I tend to get whatever my sister doesn't like
In other news, I've just had to dig my passport out and found in it a train ticket stub dated 3rd May 2010 from Oklahoma City to Fort Worth.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:31, Reply)
Trimmed
Beer
Beer
The musical talent of Coldplay
(I helped save b3ta! Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:29, Reply)
Anything times by 0.
V05
Arsenic, cause I am an arse.
Hedge Funds
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:32, Reply)
I'm not a big fan of hedges, they're alright for seporating fields, but I'm not big on fields eaither.
I like Lush stuff.
Morphine and Methadone and Solphadeen and 'v' energy drink.
You're MUM.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:33, Reply)
Many years ago
Before mechanized agriculture, we had an awful lot of hedges in this country as field boundaries, and they were natural sanctuaries for all sorts of wildlife.

A lot of these hedgerows have been destroyed and our native wildlife has suffered as a result.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:40, Reply)
The hedge that is round the house
which will be mine in an unspecified amount of time
nt fussed, although herbal essences, I will agree, smells nice
vodka, nice beer or red wine. Or a nice single malt
nothing
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:44, Reply)
hi caves

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:48, Reply)
oh.
so you're back
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:54, Reply)
And....
my front too!
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:55, Reply)
so what's your problem?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Borderline Personality disorder.
yours?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:01, Reply)
girlflu

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Pah!
walk it off.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Forsythia
Don't care
Geezer was in Judas Priest, not poison
I don't do maths.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Geezer Butler was in Black Sabbath.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:49, Reply)
Good point.
Oh the shame.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:50, Reply)
And lacking two fingertips
He's done fairly well.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:53, Reply)
Not as well as the def leopards drummer.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:54, Reply)
Fair enough
And although I don't care for that genre you must tip your hat to him.

Dury made his disabilaties a central part of his act, although he was, apparently, an utter knobcheese about it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Yes, a knob who made some great songs
shame the two so often go hand in hand.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:00, Reply)
I've written LOADS of great songs.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Too easy.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Saw him live twice
Incredible frontman, but with a substandard band.

The Blockheads - original version - was one of the best musical lineups ever.

Quiz question - The Blockheads had two number one singles. What was the second?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:06, Reply)
Not a clue, I am a recent convert to Mr Dury
Spasticus? I doubt it, but I love that song.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:08, Reply)
No
He'd told them to fuck off by that point so they did something else.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:09, Reply)
sex and drugs and rock n roll?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:10, Reply)
No - think about Norman Watt-Roy's bass
They weren't credited but they played on a HUGE hit by some talentless fuckers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:13, Reply)
Oh shit, I know this one.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood- Relax.

Amirite?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Winner!
The Blockheads were the studio band for Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

The bass gives it away - Norman Watt-Roy is one of the greatest bassists of our time.

Would you like to pass your award to Wikipedia?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I didn't wiki it, until I realised I knew it.
I genuinely remembered it, typed answer here, then checked on wiki just to see if I was indeed correck. I an' I was correck an ting.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Worth remembering
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic0tVFYvRZ0

The poor fucker miming lead doesn't even realise he's miming a bass line.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Tut tut.
And me an ignorant, nigger music fan.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:53, Reply)
You said it racist, not me.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:54, Reply)
But you what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:55, Reply)
tsk, bigoted and short sighted.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Ninja editor.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Karate proofreader;

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)
And it was ironylols.
I get very bored very quickly when I encounter the whole 'white people thinking they're black' thing about honkies that like hip hop. You don't hear it about house, and house is just as much 'black' music as hip hop is.

Yegetmeh?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:56, Reply)
you ever hear that shit from me you can slap me.
I dislike (some of) your taste in music because its shit,not because of the (possible) skin colour of the performers.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:59, Reply)
Nice to hedge you...
To hedge you nice!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:55, Reply)
Yew hedge
My favourite isn't made anymore, a peppermint one by Urban Decay. Current one is a vanilla-y one.
Gin naturally
My appreciation of Joss Whedon
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:51, Reply)
Evening Oh mighty undead one, how goes life?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Watched too many films
but I'm alright. How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)
You should have made Cavy join you, she need to catch up.
I'm good, will be gooder on Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:01, Reply)
I don't know if she'd like my taste in films
Oh, what's happening on Friday?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:02, Reply)
She need something.
London /offtopic drinkies with the big lads. I expect to shame myself.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:03, Reply)
Enjoy /jealouses
You should watch The Eagle
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Odd you should say that I was given a coppie just yesterday by my ex father in law.
I wanted to see it because I loved the book as a child, but I fear It will be a disappointment.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:07, Reply)
I loved the book as a child
the film isn't scrupulously faithful but it captures the spirit very well, and I really don't generally like films of books I love
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:08, Reply)
This is a good recomendation, I may watch it later.
I respect your taste in these matters.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:09, Reply)
Hope you enjoy it if you do

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:13, Reply)
I doubt I'll hate it, and at least I've not re read it recently
that should help. Any other recent recomendations?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Watched Hanna, that was pretty good
and the new Jane Eyre. Mostly though I've been taken up with watching White Collar (which is amazing)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:16, Reply)
How did you like the Jane Eyre?
I saw it at the big cinema at Cabot Circus, in the comfy lounge screen with the tables and big chairs.
Apart from wanting to slap Jamie Bell, I enjoyed the film.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I don't think you'd like The Eagle then :)
I really liked Jane Eyre, thought it was fairly perfectly cast apart from Michael Fassbender being far too hot to be Rochester
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)
Who/what/where/why/when, not that I can make it.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:01, Reply)
It's in the calendar Gonz.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:02, Reply)
i just haven't seen many films
i don't think it's the end of the world but some people with too great an emphasis on comsummable media think it is
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:07, Reply)
it's an art form I enjoy and care about,
but I know how annoying it is to be preached at, Gonz does it about video games. I think it's just that as we have some tastes in common I think you'd enjoy some of the stuff I do. However, as I an in danger of becoming a Dozertm on the subject, I shall shut it and you will hear no more from me on this.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:12, Reply)
Joss Whedon is slightly amusing because if you mentally change the 'h' to an 'e' his name sounds like "just weed on", a phrase which lends itself to innumerable witticisms.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:57, Reply)
This makes him slightly more bearable

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:59, Reply)
The one outside my house
Tresemmé deep cleansing
Vino
Couldn't give a fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:54, Reply)
Hey It wasn't me, Dozer said it, not me.
So you can just leave me alone, right.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Whut?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Victim of Watts music drive-by shooting I think.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:00, Reply)
wtf

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:07, Reply)
I've been good all day, no swearing nor nuffink
SO you can't go picking on me.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:02, Reply)
wtf
?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:07, Reply)
You're alway judging me for being rude
but because I crave your respect I have reformed and am now being all good and shi... stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:13, Reply)
Am I?
I swear like a trooper so I'm very sorry for my hypocrisy.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Ignore him
He's a nutter.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:17, Reply)
Oh son...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:19, Reply)
*giggles*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Ha!
you never complained before. Hi B3thles.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:19, Reply)
Ello darling.
Course I never complained. You're speshul.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)
SPESHUL!!!!!
*belms*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:22, Reply)
You're no fun.
I was trying a new version of "Roota's a puritan" to get a rise out of you, but Either I'm incompetant or you're no rising so I shall stop it and admit myself defeated.

Start again:

Evening Roots, how's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:18, Reply)
Oh shurrup ya girl!
I have to leave here at 8.30 to put washing in and cram for ECDL.
I'm very fucking tired.
How's you?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)
ECDL?
I'm good, fucking knackered and a bit achy from coming off my bike last night but otherwise good. debating between getting stuff done in my unexpectedly free evening or titting about on the net and maybe watching a film.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Computer_Driving_Licence
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Gotcha, good luck.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Coming off your bike?????

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:27, Reply)
He means coming off ON his bike
You know, riding over cobbles.

*winks*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:28, Reply)
Only ladies get off riding over cobbles you numpty.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:31, Reply)
he doesn't use a saddle

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:37, Reply)
I'm fine mum.
one slightly grazed knee, and by slightly I mean hardly visible, I am an excellent faller.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:30, Reply)
You were showing off doing back wheelies again weren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:32, Reply)
No, I was being a fool
I am lucky not to have been hurt
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:33, Reply)
And an excellent POST DELETER.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:33, Reply)
I didn't even know I'd posed the first time until I posed the second, no idea how that happened.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:34, Reply)
Yeah, well. Don't expect me to be bringing any germolene with me on Friday.
Just incase your pint is too hot and you burn your fingers, or if you accidentally cut your hand on a poppadom.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Fuck off.
I'm not that bad. I am shit at not falling off things or tripping over, but excellent at not getting hurt.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:37, Reply)
Look after him Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:38, Reply)
If I'm too cautious, he won't have any stories to tell.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:40, Reply)
This^
I like stories.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:40, Reply)
But then again.
What if you don't remember any of the stories 'cos you've drunk too much?

It's a tricky one.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Not a problem
I throw up way before I pass out or loose memories. It's a mixed blessing but it keeps me safe from alchohol poisoning.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:44, Reply)
Oh for fuck's sake!
I do not need looking after. I am thirty fucking six and I can take care of my self. *huffs*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:40, Reply)
Yes but you'll be hanging out with the big boys.
I'm thinking maybe a tag round your neck with your address on and an emergency fiver tucked into your socks.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:43, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1460712
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Don't get shirty with me because I care.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:47, Reply)
It's sweet that you worry
but I have been drunk before you know.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Lol
I'm just winding you up.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:49, Reply)
How else would you have ended up with that haircut?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:50, Reply)
Serious lol

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Tht's it, I'm proper sulking now.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Et tu B3th?
My hair was awsesome, right now it's less awesome but it will be awesome again soon.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Hedgehogs.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 19:56, Reply)
meh!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Pah!

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:05, Reply)
duh!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:06, Reply)
Doh!

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:14, Reply)
A deer, a female deer.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Ray, a drop of golden sun.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:19, Reply)
Me, a name I call myself.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:19, Reply)
Shouldn't that be Ray, a name I call the guy out of that shitcom Everybody Loves Raymond.
OH LOL!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:21, Reply)
I hope you're funnier IRL.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:23, Reply)
I was trying to think of a Ray to do that gag with but drew a blank.
confgrats
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:25, Reply)
Far, a long long way to run
I am genuinely distressed at how much of this I know.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:26, Reply)
You is well gay innit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:26, Reply)
SO it seems
although I can't remember the line after that.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Yeah! whatevs.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:33, Reply)
Evenin' evenin'.
Privet
Anything that builds body and tames frizz
Dairy, and possibly wheat
I don't know, that's maths innit?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:16, Reply)
Oh b3th. I need a hug.
I haz post awesome weekend comedown : (
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:17, Reply)
Me too!
*hugs*
I went xmas shopping, bought the sum total of one present and two stocking fillers, and a shit load of stuff for me.

The company was fucking aces though.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:19, Reply)
Stuff for you should be keeping you chipper.
And I can imagine the company was : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:22, Reply)
There was drinking
and frivolity.
And shopping.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:23, Reply)

ing lifting
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)
How very dare you

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Too much shopping.
You people have an illness.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)
We could start when the shops open at nine
and still be going when they throw us out.

Shopping is the best fun.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:27, Reply)
It's cold and walky and wandery.
Boozing and eating and laughing at other people's clothes/rollers and getting haunted in hotel rooms is the best fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Well, we got a bit of both.
Wags in rollers, ghosts in hotel rooms, and lots of drinking.

mr b3th was aghast at how much alcohol we got through during that lunch. I argued that three bottles of wine between four people was hardly excessive.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:31, Reply)
It was my mum's fault for buying the third one,
I'm sure we were all stone cold sober til she suggested that.
Also, tell him he's well gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:33, Reply)
*points at watch*
*does excellent washing machine mime*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:35, Reply)
TA LA!!
See yous later.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Being an old man, and not 'down' with the 'youth' vernacular
he is now worried about his sexuality.

To whit: "Ask her what the fuck that means!"
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:37, Reply)
As roota has gone.
Tell him she was impugning his sexuality and the only way he can redeem himself is to take you roughly over your keyboard right now.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:38, Reply)
It's too late
I'm surrounded by quenders.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Poor B3th.
*comforts*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Totally

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)
Escallonia, the smell of it makes me happy
Vosene, again it's the (fake) coal tar smell.
Tea.
Sweet fuck all.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)
Vosene reminds me of being a teenager and having greasy hair.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:28, Reply)
I think my grandmother used it or something like it
so in my head the smell is probably associated with getting presents.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Can we start again?
I drifted off a bit there.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Traditionally, you start a new thread at this point.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:42, Reply)
And where does tradition get us, eh?
We'd be wearing hose and sticking our hands in dangerous machines.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Some of us alreaady are.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:45, Reply)
You might tell us a little more about your hose.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Pervert

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:48, Reply)
A man needs a hobby.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Damn right brother

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:51, Reply)
This place is a breeding ground for sweaty internet lechery

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:51, Reply)
Pfft! I wish.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
I'm only a part time lech

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:54, Reply)
You say this as if that's not how I spend most of my free time.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:46, Reply)
What does your dangerous machine produce?
I like machines.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:49, Reply)
None of them produce anything except bruises and greasy fingers and fun.
Bicycles, innit.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:50, Reply)
You've got a bicycle machine?
Hats off again.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
My machines are bicycles you twit

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:53, Reply)
That's rather a let down
You're either being too literal, or I'm being a bit shite.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Probably both.
bicycles are wonderful things you know.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:00, Reply)
No, women are wonderful things.
Bicycles are transport.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:02, Reply)
No, women are people, some are nice, some not so, a very few are wonderful
Bicycles are things that have the potential to be anything from transport to world changing.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:09, Reply)
How can a bicycle change the world?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:11, Reply)
If enough people rode them global warming would probably fuck off
That's just off the top of my head mind.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:12, Reply)
That's not bicycles changing the world.
That's people.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:14, Reply)
They are only things, they can't do stuff on their own
It's the old guns don't kill people, rappers do argument.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:15, Reply)
I thought it was Chuck Norris.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:20, Reply)
A big hairy bush

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:53, Reply)
Alright Rory?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:54, Reply)
Cool, I was all shy but now you're here I can admit that my favourite shampoo is JOHNSON'S® Baby Shampoo
I ent no peedo
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:57, Reply)
NO MOAR TEARS!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:59, Reply)
:'('''''

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:00, Reply)
Good call.
Also useful as an emergency lube I've been told.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:59, Reply)
Slimey gob normally does for me

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:00, Reply)
NO MOAR REARS!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Hahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:01, Reply)
If you find that slightly amusing
You might well chuckle at what happened to me in work today.

Usually I take a can of coke in to work with me. Recently, Stella have changed their packaging so that it's more 'red' than white.

That'll be me cracking open a can of Stella at my desk at ten thirty this morning. They aren't even the same sized can.

I must have still been half asleep this morning when I reached into the fridge.

No. I didn't drink it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:05, Reply)
Yeah! whatevs!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:07, Reply)
I didn't drink it.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Cross your heart and hope to die?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:09, Reply)
NEVER use "I can't believe it's not Butter."
Still stings.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:03, Reply)
I can't believe it's not Better.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:05, Reply)
You are bent.
This is not bent:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIKHUYuzVHg&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Evening.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Good evening to you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Well done on the Turner.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Ta. I'm really 'into art'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:48, Reply)
I'm really not paying attention tonight.
I've drifted off again and I'm sorry.

Anyway - Paul Cook - good drummer or not? I'd say excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:33, Reply)
He is v tight.
That whole 'anyone can form a punk band' thing, whilst technically true, means nothing if your band is shit or your songs suck. The fact that only a few 70s British punk bands are remembered now makes the point. 'Bollocks' is a super-professional record.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:48, Reply)
urgh
entertian me, i'm poorly
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Nobody cares about us, Cavy.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:38, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:40, Reply)
I care about both of you!
Seriously I do!!!
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:57, Reply)
We don't want your germs in this thread Captain.
Take your illness to a new thread.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:38, Reply)
to ill to make a new thread

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:40, Reply)
What's wrong with you?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:41, Reply)
i have a cold
can't even skyve work tomorrow as one of my colleages has been in and is worse
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Right.
I'll start a new thead then. That'll cheer you up.

Gimme a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Don't look at me
Too going to bed soon to start a new thread.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:42, Reply)
i think the whole hedge thing is too much
to try and follow
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Now that this one is dead
It might be time for me to confess my membership of The Woodland Trust and our campaign to preserve Hedgrerows.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:50, Reply)
that is a big admission
the sort of thing that ruins careers
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:53, Reply)

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