*Tap tap tap*
Anyone up yet? Hello?

I've been up for ages as we were getting a new oven delivered "sometime between 7am and 11am". Shockingly, it arrived at 7:45, which in my history of waiting in for things to be delivered is something of a fucking record. As a result our place looks like a bit of a bomb site as we had to shift a few things from the landing in order to clear a space for the delivery men to get through. Also the Christmas tree is up but not yet decorated, so it's standing in the middle of the living room floor until the missus gets back. I would decorate it myself but it won't meet with her autism perfectionist approval. I also have to have a monumental tidy up and maybe wrap some presents.

What does today have in store for you?

Alt: Christmas traditions?

Alt alt: fuck off, there's just over a week to go.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:14, 296 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

If anyone can stomp me it's you DG.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:15, Reply)

I haven't started a thread for ages.
I'm going to fanny around on here for a bit then go and be productive.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:16, Reply)

christmas team lunch
There was a lot of "my car is small", "well my car is smaller" yesterday so I cleaned my car out last night. I can take a fucking hint.

Alt: used to be that everyone would excuse themselves from family christmases around teatime by saying "Oh, Chains is all alone I said I'd stop in" and then we'd all get pissed round mine.

Now they're starting families of their own, the cunts. Past few years and this I'm going round my brother's and his girlfriend is doing Xmas dinner.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:18, Reply)

I'm considering having my Dad down again.
I'm visiting family on the 23rd anyway to do the Santa run so could always bring him back with me. He seemed to enjoy the change of scene last year.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:20, Reply)

Sweet Jesus!
Office party last night.

I spent a relaxing 3 hours on the sofa and am back at work!

I feel a Wetherspoons brekky and pint coming on.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:25, Reply)

Alt: Get tae fu.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:26, Reply)

Not been to a decent office party for years.
My last place stopped laying them on to save money, so all we did was go out for lunch as a team. Last year we combined it with an 'educational' visit to an anaerobic digester we'd part funded, so a very pleasant lunch was followed by standing in a field in two feet of snow looking at a big stainless steel tank full of shit. After which I had to go to an evening meeting.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:28, Reply)

Fucking hell.
You boys know how to live.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:29, Reply)

It was not the most enjoyable day I've ever had, it must be said.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:31, Reply)

I have, however, been to some epic ones in the past twenty years.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Wetherspoons?
I thought you were better than that, Stunned?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Serves ale, innit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Their one redeeming feature, I suppose
It hasn't managed to tempt me into one yet mind. But the couple we have round here are just vile places.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:32, Reply)

As is the one next to my office.
Large, cheap and beery. Much like I feel at the moment.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:35, Reply)

One's opened in the next town to us.
Surprisingly, it's relatively classy. But then the town itself is quite well healed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Relative to what?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Most Wetherspoons I've been in.
Maybe it's the newness factor, but the lighting's very low, black leather seats everywhere, plenty of pot plants... looks nothing like any Wetherspoons I've ever been in I must say.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:40, Reply)

I'm up. I've been up all day.
I have had a monumentally lazy day, but tomorrow I will be studying and working.

Me and my mum have a tradition of going to see all the lights in town.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:26, Reply)

St Kilda, one bulb, one love.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:27, Reply)

Bloody oath.
In fairness, I needed a day off. I got monumentally plastered on tuesday night, and spent yesterday recovering and dancing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:30, Reply)

POPPET
I went to a Swing class for the first time in ages the other night, it was brilliant. We did 6-beat and 8-beat, great fun :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:28, Reply)

Oh man I fucking LOVE 8-beat.
The swing outs are fantastic fun. Dun-dun-dundahdun-dun-dun-dundahdun. LOVE IT!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Yeah I had great fun with that and the Lindy turn
I really enjoyed 6-beat too because the moves are pretty much the same as in Jive so I could just focus on the styling and technique which are totally different
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

I know, Styling is fun!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:35, Reply)

We're going to a 50s swing night on NYE
Can't wait. The low and grounded thing is so different from Ballroom, I love it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I'm going to a 1920's swing night on NYE! Can't wait!!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

What are you wearing?
I need outfit inspiration
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Oh I have this amazing chiffon dress.
It's about mid thigh length, sheer, and has floaty sleeves, and ties around the waist.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Yeah that does sound lovely
I might have to watch Back to the Future for inspiration
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I think you should wear a three peice suit if you can get hold of one. Not a black one, like a grey or even a tweed one!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I do have one but it's too nice to wear out on NYE!
I might go charity shopping though, good tip :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Did you take notes on your missus oral technique and flexibility as she was spitroasted?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:30, Reply)

I was busy!
Still not sure these are my car keys
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Actually I have a question.
Was the class run through Swing Patrol, and if so, was the teacher a guy called Scotty Cupit?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Nope
The organisation is called Swing City, teacher's name was Rob I think. Let's face it, that would have been a long shot!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Ahaha not really.
The organisation in Melbourne, is also in London, Brisbane and Sydney, which is why I asked!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Aha
He may have been at the London Swing night we went to in September then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

I wouldn't be surprised if he was!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

That might have been a weird conversation starter though, had I met him
Oh, yeah, a friend of mine knows you... well I say friend, she lives 9,000 miles away and we've never met, but we're friends on Facebook so it totally counts...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Aha I don't know him, but I know people who know him.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:54, Reply)

That would have been even more awkward!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I'm up!
And already at work, have been for 25 minutes for god's sakes.

Today I might implement stage one of "OPERATION GINGER JACKAL" and enjoy watching Western civilisation crumble from my private mansion overlooking the Danube, before partaking of a pleasant afternoon's croquet with the chaps from the Hellfire Club. The evening shall consist of Bollinger and slow roasted James Corden's corpse, on a bed of endangered plant life. Then I shall retire to bed with Cap'n Hood-Butter's several supermodel wives, who will rate me unfavourably on my sexual prowess in comparison to his. I will cry myself to a bitter, salty sleep.

Or I might just work, dance and go to Asda. Could go either way.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:27, Reply)

"Work, dance and go to Asda"
Classic!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:28, Reply)

Eyethangyew
Morning mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:34, Reply)

*throwsup*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:36, Reply)

HARDCORE

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=hardcore%20you%20know&source=web&cd=3&ved=0CC8QtwIwAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DMDi1Rz5dL9s&ei=ZbLpTtPlG4XdggeYttXdCA&usg=AFQjCNEE3d8OVU_UK39LlJl_U2Xkwltk3w

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:40, Reply)

That takes me back
DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK THERE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

You love it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

*puts up hand*
Please sir, I love it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:49, Reply)

*giveswhatyoulove*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Family thing on christmas eve. It's a wop thing.
I think it's supposed to be about fasting and that, being wops it involves a fucking huge meal.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:27, Reply)

Dirty wops.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:31, Reply)

We're quite clean actually.
Clean and sexy.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:31, Reply)

The most sanitary of all the sexy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Mornin' all. Today means I'm at home cleaning the drains.
Still, its a day off, so better then work. I should have time for some b3ta skiving.

Alt: a big family row.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:27, Reply)

I'm up
and it's shit.

Today has some good and some bad in store for me:
Bad: some stock taking to do at work.
Good: I'm knocking off at lunchtime to accompany my son's class on a trip (although this means I won't get my usual sneaky pint after work while he goes swimming.)

Alt: Well this will be the second Christmas I will have had a newborn baby to contend with, so that is almost becoming a tradition*

*No way. This is the last.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:28, Reply)

Alt: trying to keep three sets of parents happy
This year it's two days at my folks', which means lots of food, booze and games, two days at Ms Foxtrot's Mum's, which means no booze and pandering to her 11-year-old brother, and two days at her Dad's which means anklebiters everywhere and (thankfully) booze.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Work tedium til six followed by seeing my daughter.
This entails an hour of extreme lolz followed by enforced bedtime followed immediately by my own bedtime.

Alt: my brother and I used to take turns each year in being some kind of family disgrace but this seems to have died out these days, to my mother's delight. Past highlights have been my brother nearly urinating on our grandmother having taken a 'wrong turn' on his way to the lavatory, my vomiting out of my father's window, all over the tree outside the bedroom window and from there onto his wooden porch. I'd only met his new wife four hours before which meant asking for a washing-up bowl and some Dettol at 7am on Christmas morning was acutely embarrassing. 'Have you got food poisoning?', she innocently asked. For a split-second I thought about encouraging this as an idea until I saw my father and brother's faces - no, Monty, you have not.

In later years our sister joined in, her finest hour being collapsing on the floor in front of the bishop of Basingstoke and his wife at 4pm on a Sunday - taking with her a percolator of coffee (remember them?) which emptied itself into our family pride and joy - a fucking gigantic video player (remember them?). My father picked it up and coffee pissed out of the bottom of it, which made my sister insensible with laughter and my folks crimson with rage. Bless her, she was only fifteen and had been plied with booze at the local pub where she washed up.

Fami-lolz, best and worst of the lolz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:30, Reply)

I like your family tradition.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Alt: You've got to keep the lezzas happy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

How was your work's do?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Cool.
I am fucked though. Would it be bad to have hroa hrain now?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

I think you're going to need it at some point.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Back in a mo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I suggest waiting until after lunch.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Too late.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Done it on a plate?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

This is a reference to 70s/80s playground classic 'Diarrhoea'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

And once again
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1471250
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I think I should kill myself for the good of humanity, if this is so.
Although I have to say I think Phoenix Nights was a work of genius and I will argue the case for it being one of the best sitcoms ever with anyone you choose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:51, Reply)

It had its moments.
The kiddies bouncy castle comes to mind.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:53, Reply)

'Sammeh Snaaake'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)

It deserves credit for this, if nothing else:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uSGtRoEQYA

Sitcoms generally are quite poor, but I did enjoy that. I don't think Kay wrote it alone though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:55, Reply)

I think the key writer was the bloke who played 'Ray Von' - also one of the best characters.
I thoroughly agree re sitcoms though. They are normally bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I'm surprised it wasn't too Northern for you, Monters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I'm not areal welder, MIster.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Lunch is for wimps.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Hallberg-Rassey Owners Association?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Your life is a Brian Rix farce aicmfp.
Needs more accidental dropping of trousers though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

My sister pissed her trousers durting the Christmas lunch once.
Will that do?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

Res.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

He-he-he-he-he-he-he

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Bishop of Basingstoke!!! Lol

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:34, Reply)

You are Peter Kay AICM Panda Pop lemonade ('member that?)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Panda cola rocked.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

You have a sister?
*puts on shiny shoes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:36, Reply)

do you have Shiny Stockings too?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

He does. And a basque.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

I am erect.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Nonsense
Very little market for the barrel-chested male basque. Possible Dragons' Den pitch right there. You're welcome.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Did you see that article yesterday about the new bra model who's actually a bloke?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I did.
The world's gone mad DG.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

The world needs a big fucking dose of lithium fo' sho'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:44, Reply)

You bloody what?!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Trufact!
uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/male-model-fronts-campaign-for-push-up-bras.html
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

That is one seriously female man
I've never felt so masculine. By comparison.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Compared to him
You're Conan the fucking Barbarian, mate.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

*slays army of quenders*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Rawkus will never recover from the slaughter of it's entire customer base.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Well remembered/looked up, there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Remembered

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Such a confusing wank

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I do not
This is all getting a bit "Gay or European?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:41, Reply)

nah the shiny shoes reminded me of the song Shiny Stockings by Ella Fitzgerald.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I'm not telling you where my reference comes from

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Today I shall be mostly applying for jobs and doing an online psychometric test
Alt: Unfortunately the family Xmas traditions don't happen anymore due to the family being spread about the country/globe.
Alt Alt: Bollocks! I REALLY need to do the Xmas shopping!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Alt: keeping my step-dad happy so we can all have a peaceful christmas.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:32, Reply)

I think it's very good of you to toss him off round by the bins for the sake of family unity.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Ew!

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Suck him off then?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:43, Reply)

*bokes*

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:44, Reply)

It's easier if you swallow.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

^ the voice of experience right here

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:47, Reply)

*Milk of Dadnesia*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:49, Reply)

POTW no question

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Why, thank you.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Hells yeah. How's you think I got all dis bling girlfriend?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Randy daddy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Morning
Today shall be mostly spent laughing at hungover colleagues.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

*waves*

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:43, Reply)

*Waves*
How are you my dear?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:46, Reply)

A little hungover but not too shabby.
Just had new guttering and pipes put on the house so Woo!
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Wow.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:50, Reply)

My life is a rollercoaster of excitment recently.
I didn't even realise they'd done it till they rang me the day after.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I am KING of the hangover.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I'm not disputing that.
Mine is barely registering on the richter scale.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I seem to have avoided a hangover despite the bottle of Rioja I had to myself last night
I am officially nails
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:55, Reply)

"bottle of Rioja"
YOU FUCKING PONCE!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Oh I'm terribly sorry
It was a bottle of nondescript red alcoholic beverage, which I couldn't be bothered to read the label of cos I'm a bloody bloke.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Good lad.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)

You only get a hangover if you drink it,
not if you ram it up your shitpipe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Ah, I see you've played "drink a bottle of wine then ram it up your shitpipe" before

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Bacon sarnie and full sugar coke, is my prescription.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Coca-cola
is known to my musician chums as 'The Black Doctor'. as there are times on tour when it is the only saviour from feeling like utter death.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Both KING of the hangover
And LORD OF THE GAY. You've been blessed.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Prince of pooves
if you don't mind.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Yeah
Michael Flatley is the Lord of the Gays
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Yup, that's pretty much how I am spending my day too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Fuck you both

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Ha.
I love that you got dragged into my petty Twitter fight. I am assuming based on the 'fuck you' above that you at least had drunkeness as an excuse.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Maybe a little...
In fairness, she was a fucking idiot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:00, Reply)

She very much is.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I probably shouldn't have replied this morning, either
Fucking hell, I should avoid twitter when pissed
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I think most people should avoid the internet in general when they're pissed.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I'm not sure, some of Swipe's funniest posting has been when she's pissed

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Hahahaha.
You idiot.

Even I walked away from my petty frustration when I realised that arguing with someone who thought "LOL at You" was a worthy response really wasn't worth the time.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I'm not frustrated
Just bored
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

A hangover, I assume
I'm still pissed.

Also, it holds the song 'Baba O'Riley' for me, as for some reason, it's stuck in my head this morning. I'm not complaining though, it is an excellent song.

Alt: Pissed on Christmas Eve, Beef on Boxing day. Also, we now do stockings in a bit of an odd way. Everyone buys 3 presents for less than £10, then we have 2 decks of cards. Everyone is dealt a few cards from the first deck, then my sister picks from the second deck. When your card is called, you can select a present from the middle (they're wrapped, so it's a 'surprise'). Once all the presents from the middle are gone, you can steal them off someone else. One year I was only left with 1, the bastards.

Alt Alt: No, YOU fuck off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:50, Reply)

This is going to be a crackin' day
*prepares Scouse-bait*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Scouse bait?
A pile of shell suits and grief?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:55, Reply)

and parked cars?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:57, Reply)

"Keep yer car safe for a fiver, la?"

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Haha yes, precisely that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:01, Reply)

A sign that says "Steal me"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Fuck you

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:01, Reply)

*blows kiss*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Bah

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Boredom. And Angry Birds while pretending to be shitting.
Alt: The Christmas Curry with all the men from one branch of the family. My uncles, dad, cousins and cousin-in-laws. It's the best bit.

Alt alt: I'm not fucking off. There's only just over a week to go.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Pretending to be shitting?
Although I must say I did once pretend to have the squits to get out of doing something I didn't really fancy on holiday.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Fucks sake DG
You're married to her now, you're going to have to sleep with her eventually.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I wondered how long it would take...
it was some crappy water park, akshully. It looked... unsafe.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I was going to do it as a narrative, but I couldn't be arsed.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Nothing wrong with pretending to be shitting.
Thats how I got so good a Tetris again.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I now imagine that your poo comes out shaped like Tetris blocks
Everyone appreciates the long straight one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Those massive square ones are a nightmare I tell you.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)

You need lube
Or just a spot of... loosening
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:14, Reply)

From you that sounds like an offer.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Is that the sound of Darth stepping up to the plate I hear?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Is this Darth offering to help?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Has anyone mentioned that this sounds like you are offering?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I'd like to join in the suggesting that this is Darth offering to help.
I'm not sure what it means though because I know nothing about bumming and bummers.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Pfft
Yeah...of COURSE you don't
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)

This is definitely not an offer
*holds out palm, waits for it to be crossed with silver*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:25, Reply)

silver cock

Hur hur
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Fuck yeah.
I get two or three extra half hour breaks out of the "shitting" scam.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Sorry, I'm not sure I understand the question
So I'm going to answer with '1966, 4-2, Sir Bobby Moore'
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:09, Reply)

2005, 3-3
Steven Gerrard, Vladimir Smicer, Xabi Alonso.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Xabi is a great name
Is it pronounced 'Zabby'?
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

No, closer to Zhabi

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Ah
Still a great name
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Definitely

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)

name player, who Liverpool never should have sold as it completely shafted their push to end a title drought now lasting 21 years
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

This is true
Rafa, you fucking tool. Barry is nowhere near as good as Alonso.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

But in fairness to Barry
at least he has two legs that work. Unlike Aquilani, whose name I still can't hear without sniggering.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Is he the one with the trident who talks to fish?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

*some laboured joke about Italians and sleeping with fishes*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

*Gets obscure superhero reference*
Aquaman, possibly one of the shittest characters of all time. "he can swim! And, er, talk to fish.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Even Lucas is better than Barry
Still rather gutted he's out for the season
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)

INCORRECT
He wasn't knighted at the time of the final.

GO TO QUIZ JAIL
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Oh no! Oh well never mind, I've had a great day
Can I say a few hello's?
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:12, Reply)

You may
As long as you don't pass Quiz Go or collect 200 Quiz Pounds
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I'd like to say Hi to Flossy Pouch
That's it
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

*bundles roughly into van*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I REGRET NOTHING!

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Correct, Bobby Moore was the first man on the moon.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Don't ever ask him to verify that, he'll punch you in the face.
from BEYOND THE GRAVE!!!!11!!!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

That cunt deserved that fucking punch

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

THE moon?

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

any moon.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

That's no moon

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Keith Moon?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Alfie?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Harvey?

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Shine on.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Will do
*shines*
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Yes?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I dunno
People say he's big, but I reckon I could take him
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Take him by surprise
He'd never see it coming
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Stamp on his achilles tendon
It'll ruin his golf game, if nothing else
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I still piss myself laughing at the Akabussi porn description of Harvey
as "a mad little fucker, big as a barrel and blind as a bat leaping up and down in some boiling water."
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

'Akabussi Porn Description' is a firm contender for 'Best Sentence Fragment of the Day'

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Read and weep
nadsters.com/nads/showthread.php?tid=1655
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Awooga

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Fucking slays me every time.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Tis excellent
Seems to provide a laugh pretty much every time it's mentioned on here
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:49, Reply)

There appear to be a couple of newish ones on there.
I haven't read the Big Brother one before.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I don't dare go on there, for laughing too hard
Like this did the other day
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Oh man
That is sensational
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I just love the joke about him walking into walls

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Whereas Bobby Zamora managed to get the first football on the moon.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

When the ball hits your head when you're sat in row zed
It's Zamora.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

That's where I going, yes...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Nah mate, that was Jason Lee.
He was also the first man with a pinapple on his head to miss a sitter from 3 yards on the moon.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

You, outside. Now.
Wait, you're from Glasgow aren't you?

As you were, sir, I agree with you completely.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I imagine Bruce Lee's son can kick pretty hard
and with staggering accuracy
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I sure can.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)

(o") !

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Ah, Jason Lee. Forest legend.
Which says a lot about how far our standards concerning "legends" have fallen since we won the European Cup
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Southend Legend too.
Well, not quite 'legend' actually. But we won't ever forget him helping us beat Birmingham 4-1 after Barry Fry Judas'd us out to go there.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Him and Bryan Roy. And Stan Collywobble.
Go the early nineties premiership!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

And Ian Woan.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I come over all misty eyed at the mention of Super Stanley.
Now he IS a Southend legend.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Southend legend unmentionable cunt

Leaving for the big bucks is one thing, but trying to fleece your former club out of a hefty wedge because "you never wanted to be sold", after spending most of the previous season making eyes at Liverpool, is inexcusable.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)

unmentionable cunt Southend Legend.

Like I care what he did to Forest...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Stan Collymore is a wanker, he wears a wanker's hat
he plays for nottingham forest, and he is a fucking twat
he runs up and down the left wing
up and down the right. It doesn't really matter, 'cos he is fucking shite.

Ah, the joys of living with a Derby fan in the mid-to-late nineties.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)

From a Derby fan?
Oh that's rich...they haven't had a player fit to lace Stanley's boots since...um...actually I can't think of one.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Yeah.
because fans are rational about their hated rivals, aren't they?

I often heard scousers at Old Trafford singing about how, really, Rooney and Gary Neville are actually quite good footballers.

Also - more to the point - weren't Derby in the Prem league more recently than Forest? With respect to Sir Stanley - the problem was the man had potential, but in all honesty never scored with any regularity unless he was in a darkened car park.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

I don't know, I'm a Southend fan.
I base my opinion of Stan Collymore purely on the 1992-93 season.

So to me, he's a God.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)

he's certainly a dogging deity.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

If it didn't happen between October 1991 and May 1992 I'm not interested.
And frankly, between those periods, he could have gone dogging in my back garden and I'd have just taken him a Thermos of hot tea and asked if he needed feeding.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

The Filth were indeed in the top flight more recently than us
They set a Premiership record for least points accrued and extended their winless run to 13 months once back in the Championship.

*sings Happy Days theme tune*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)

We adapted that for that fucking cunt Commons a couple of years back
Also; standard decontamination period for prolonged exposure to a Filth is 30 years, we can't be friends until the mid-to-late twenties, sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)

My wife's a Liverpool fan, as is most of her family.
I think if I can handle that, you can cope with me sharing student houses with a Derby fan.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Do you know, I've just realised that I don't know who you support, old boy

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Derby
The lying bastard has actually lived alone his entire life
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Man U.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)

But, but, you're such a nice chap

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Brian Roy was where its at

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Quite disturbed by the intricate knowledge of the last time Forest were good
Me and my mate claimed to start the Jason Lee worship thing - one game he came on as sub and we stood up (we were in the back row so felt OK about this) and started doing the Le Tissier bow, the next game when he came on the whole Trent End was doing it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

The internet has heard enough about what your 'Trent End' gets up to, Darth.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:31, Reply)

You should hear about his trips to Gay Meadow.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)

steady there
it's the Greenhous Meadow now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Is that true?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Well, so it is.
I didn't know that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)

they moved in 2007
to up the capacity.

/I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of football grounds, it's because Shrewsbury are my home town team.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I think they moved because they finally got sick of the jokes.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Let's be fair
heard made up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I heard that every time you go to a match all the corner flag poles disappear.
Up your arse.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I got to walk across the pitch carrying (and waving) a corner flag when I was a ball boy once at the City Ground
Do your worst...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I bet you had one hand on your hip and called out "Coo-eee!" to the crowd as you did.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Even at 13 I was a precocious gay

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I quite liked the late end Brian Clough Forest

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Darth was very into Cloughie's late end.
/standard.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Me too
*cries*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

"he's got a pine-apple... on his head. He's got a pine-apple.. on his head"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:31, Reply)

This is a lot of football talk.
Has Monty killed himself yet?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)

2007, Roots Hall, 1-0, 'Sir' Freddy Eastwood.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I can't think of a single game that West Ham won 4-2 in 1966
I don't think you were really trying
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I don't even own a West Ham

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I bet you're not even a Kid
Or especially Presentable
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Sometimes I'm both
Often I'm neither
(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Thank fuck I know you're being sarcastic.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:14, Reply)

No, seriously, they didn't
And this is when they were good, too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I know, but he's not talking about West Ham

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Fulham?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I thought you knew I was being sarcastic?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

This mixture of sarcasm, rhetorical questioning and hangover is killing me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I've pre-empted tomorrow's hangover by doing in a bottle of red and a few gins last night
This always manages to allow me to drink heroic amounts of beer the next night without hangover recourse. I have no idea why this is so but it comes in fucking handy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

4 litres of 'cider' for me, oof

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Yep

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

You're one cock gaz away from a murderous rampage

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Aren't we all?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Not I
Just as well really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Today has the unveiling of the secret santa
I am most proud of my construction. I am also meeting the legend that is Barry from Eastenders for a pint at lunchtime then it is our office do tonight

Alt:
Nothing really. Pork with Christmas dinner? Does that count?

Alt Alt:
No, I had a monumental 8.5 hours uninterrupted sleep last night and some nommy coffee this morning so it is all guns blazing today!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Gee you must be all cylinders firing today!!
What did you construct?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)

A take on a Pot Noodle called Bot Poodle
I shall post a pic once they are opened later

I feel fucking great today! YEAH!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)

aha that sounds... strange?
I felt so lazy today. Must make up for it tomorrow. Tomorrow I WILL study and I WILL work and I will ALSO, um... Well I can't think of something else to do, but I'll be busy I'm sure!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Is it a bot dog in a pot?
I do hope so.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Not far off

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Oh great.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I'm taking this comment without a hint of sarcasm and saying thanks!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)

you're so cheerful.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

[!]

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)