Haven't had a lunch thread in ages.
I went to a new (to me) sandwich shop and got a 'new yorker' toasted, its a pumpkin seed [errm, what are they called? Rolls that are rectangular shapped?] roll thing with this really nice sweet mustard, pisstranni, girkins and emmingtile.

It's redicoulously nice and tastey.

I'm going to my flat tonight to see what it's like, by this time next week I'll be in there. HOW COOL IS THAT?

ALT: So, how is christmas eve and day gonna play out in your household?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:28, 229 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Christmas eve I go to bed on the sofa at my parents so I can't go to bed until everyone else has gone.
Christmas day I'm roused by my mum who is roused by the dogs who are roused by my nephew getting up early to open presents.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Your mum gets aroused by the dogs who are aroused by your nephew?
You northerners are disgusting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Dirty feckers, the lot of us.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Woop woop!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

That doesn't sound like you're going to enjoy it.
Come down to london instead next year !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Now you know I'm not one to laugh at your adventures in spelling,
but 'pisstranni' is too funny not to.

Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:36, Reply)

It's a good one isn't it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Reminds me of a German magazine I 'read' once.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:40, Reply)

haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Alt: Xmas eve: couple of quiet pints in The Railway Inn, Winchester, then back to mother's for an early night.
Xmas day, open my stocking presents (I am 38 lol) which will consist of foodie treats, a book on Romans or something and some underwear, then eat croissants, drink coffee, wait for mother(s) to return from Church.

Assist in the kitchen, eat lunch, wait for sister/brother in law to arrive, mock sister, open gifts, feel a bit ill, watch some bent shit on TV like the fucking Vicar of pissing Dibley, feel a bit ill, bed by about nine.

I no longer get hammered at Christmas nor even overeat that much any more.

When I am back into town on the 27th, however, the Devil's hounds shall be released, and the Alcoholocaust shall begin. I'm DJing an old skool rave set on New Years Day this year, at a 'warehouse space in Whitechapel'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Do you ever go to the pub by yourself? What do you do when you're there?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

The only times I've ever been to the pub on my own was to wait for a train or coach.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I have no problem with solo pub visits or indeed restaurant visits.
'You're never alone with a book', they say. They are of course wrong, but I'll sit and read a book or the Sunday papers over a pint occasionally. I've got properly pissed on my own at home a number of times, but not gone out and done that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Sunday papers + pub - people = win

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Quite so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I've been in the back of the Railway inn for a night of shit loud music

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I've played there myself a fair few times.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I trying to get a sense of the irony in this post

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I'm trying to get a sense of what the fuck you are wittering on about in this post.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I described the music there as shit and loud, you immediately claimed to have played there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

That was what I was getting at.
Well done Holmes, another meisterwerk of deduction.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:03, Reply)

'maisterworks' so much better than 'masterworks'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I had a pannini
it was average.

Christmas eve, pub with friends staying at my parents, christmas morning heading down south to see family staying there until boxing day afternoon, back in MK for party at my old house.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

At somepoint I'll have to make some time to call everyone I know fat.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I am going to have a vegetablist Christmas Day :(
To counter this, I am going to prepare a pile of meat for Gonz on Boxing Day.
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

:( indeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Andrew asked me, in all seriousness, if I couldn't 'sneak some meat into the house'.
'Is that a sausage in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?'
'It's a sausage.'
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Why no meat?

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Friend is militant vegetarian.

( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Friend better eat in the fucking garden, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

It's her house.
I shall have bacon sandwiches before I go around there.
( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

you should tie her down and force feed her pureed meat
It's what jesus would have wanted
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Pepperami in the sock.
That's my tip.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

wrap your thighs in bacon, then as you heat up over the day it will cook nicely
and no one will dare ask why you crotch smells of bacon as that would be fucking rude.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Oh she'll ask me. She is very rude indeed.

( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Remind me again why you are going to this harridan's house?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Because she's one of my best friends and I'm very fond of her.

( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

well, that does make some sense...I suppose

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:03, Reply)

vagetarian cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

There shall be AMAZING cheese.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Hurrah!

( thealternativefact, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I had dull but sensible lentil soup
I'm eating sensibly and being thrifty until the end of the week than all bets are off until the 3rd of January.

Alt: quiet time with my mum and sister, hopefully, drinks, presents general slobbing and relaxing.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

You really put a lot of thought into your Christmas name, didn't you? Well done.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

yours is TERRILBE

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Haha! I've just noticed.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I had Pepper Chicken from the place I vowed never to go back to after they charged me £2.30 for a yoghurt.
(I forgot, until I was already there).

It was rank. So I am definitely not going back there again.

Cafe Culture on York Road, folks. Don't eat there.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I had default lunch.
Also some Quality street from the communal sweet tin.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I have a box on my desk.
And some Pistachios.

They were my secret santa gift. Not that I'm compalining, at least I wasn't the Welsh Guy that got a rugby ball with 'England' emblazoned down the side.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I have soup
although to be frank I have been on my feet and insanely busy since 9am and I'm enjoying a sit down rather more than my lunch.

Christmas eve and day will be mainly spent cooking. I believe I even have an apron to wear this year.
(berk, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Your own apron!?!
Wow! That man knows how to spoil you. I bet he lets you leave the washing up until boxing day too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

He's spending Christmas at his parents
I'm spending it at mine. The apron is from my Mum, after I managed to chuck something - I forget what - down myself last Christmas eve whilst cooking, and ruined the top I was wearing.
(berk, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Amazed you didn't have one already.
I own 3 and rarely cook properly, let alone wear an apron. Gaz me your postal and you can have the most girly of the 3 as a a spare if you want.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

You're going to turn up in a large box wearing nothing but an effeminate apron aren't you?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

An effeminate apron and a hard-on you could cut glass with, yes.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

How will he persuade TGB to carry him?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:01, Reply)

It was the vacuum

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

+ left by the bears vacating and heading south for the winter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I have one made almost entirely out of dead cow
and one that just says "fire and knives" on the front.

Man-aprons. Maprons.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Eugh I feel sick, no lunch for me thanks
Alt: Christmas Eve, probably Midnight Mass, although I've managed to inveigle myself out of it the last two years. Last minute present wrapping. We don't bother with a big dinner on Christmas Eve, so supplement food with cheese and port in the evening.
Christmas Day- wake up ridiculously early (again not me this year hopefully), I'll lay the table for breakfast and probably do it this year, then present opening. Parents have given up on enforcing the after lunch rule. Eat to excess, then snooze and afternoon walk.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I have Christmas dinner on the evening of the 22nd,
boozy pub dinner on the 23rd, Christmas eve party on the 24th, Christmas lunch on the 25th, Christmas lunch with my parents on the 26th, party on the 27th.

Death on the 28th, I thought you might all like to pop this in your diaries, next to "New years resolution, leave the house"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Are you trying to boast about your social life
by expanding the dates gonz asked about?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

i have no social life I have a baby

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Christmas Eve will involve getting to my parents.
Christmas Day will involve trying not to kill my parents.

Boxing Day is more fun aswe will actually have our Christmas Dinner, because that's when my brother brings my niece over after spending Christmas Day trying not to argue with his Ex at her house.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

i like piss trannies

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Best keep that to your self son.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I remember buying my flat and properly having to have a "moment" at the enormity of spending £64,000
Alt:
Get up early when 1st child awakes, open stockings then head downstairs to living room full of presents.

Once opened, get ready and open wine. Repeat whilst making Christmas dinner for 7 until falling over.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

£64k!? you are either very old or live in the North

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

The latter.
Lucky fucker that he is. £160K for the cheapest 2-bed flat arroud my way. *sads*.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I live in a dirty one-bed cockney cupboard. Current value £225k.
This is fucking preposterous.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Yeah, well it's fucking silly round your way, full of trendy cunts.
My area is unfashionably and thus 'cheap'.

My parents 4-bedroom Victorian terrace only cost about 100k, all be it 25 years ago.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

160k for a 2 bed!? You are either really old or live in the North
£275k for an ex council round me, there is also a 2 bed house on at £699k...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:14, Reply)

New Cross innit?
Has some advantages. what area are you in? of it it a state fucking secret like everything else about you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Gay shitcunt land aka West London

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

More like "BEST" london

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

More like"even fucking gayer than fucking shorditch" london.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I live in Barnes, this is fairly common knowledge

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

to people who pay attention I suppose.
I assume this to be posh. But as you work in advertising you can no doubt afford it you whore.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Average house price is £1.2m
i can't afford shit all
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Which will be why you are currently living in that area...

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

ex-council flat with one bedroom, need space for the wee one
and the next step up is massive, so will have to move, which is sad as I love it there
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Time to move to a cheaper area then

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:31, Reply)

But I enjoy not being stabbed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Well, if you were 'ard like me this would not be a problem.
Grow some balls man.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Quayside 2 bed 1st floor flat in Sunderland
Sea view from kitchen and river view from living room
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

And at low tide you can still see Raoul Moat's orange t shirt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

That was it's USP

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Right, I am officially bored at work.
I've done the bit I can do, every thing else is held up waiting either for my colleague to fix some code, or for some cunt an Samsung to reply to my email.

I think I might have a danger-want under the desk, any other suggestions?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:13, Reply)

'danger-want' lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:14, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1478850
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

fucksake

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

is that like a danger-wank
but with you begging "please?" to yourself all the way through?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

It's where you want to have one but it's too dangerous even for a danger-wank.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

"here I am, whispering because I'm surrounded by dozing tigers"
"but fucking hell, I've got balls like watermelons and I'm on a hair trigger"

The Attenborough danger-want.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Clickage.

(berk, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

They had to film those polar bear cubs somewhere else
Just to stop Attenborough knocking one out into their den. He's mad for the large carnivore dangerwank.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

'If anyone so much as mentions Michaela Strachan I'm going to go off like a spunky firework'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:31, Reply)

proper roffle.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Ice cold, my man. ICE COLD.
Alt: I suspect we'll take my mum to see some christmas lights somewhere, and then stop for a pint in a pub, before returning home to some salmon. Christmas day, getting up late as no children this year, bacon sandwiches and presents and shizzle, then the wife and my parents will go to church and I shall forcefully fist some meat into a goose.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I ma avoiding all church going this year under the guise of 'babysitting' WINNER

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I avoid church by manning the fuck up
and pointing out that as an atheist I shan't be going.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I went to a christening last weekend, it was fucking wierd
All about how Jesus was going to enter the child.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I'll happily go to those. I even got married in a church
because it made others happy. it's no skin off my nose either way. I'm just not going to go if I don't want to and it doesn't bother anyone else.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Well yes, this is the attitude I take
I i do find it all a bit wierd these days
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Since my father left the UK I am spared having to go and see him 'live' on Xmas morning.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Vicar Unplugged?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Vicar de-frocked, more like.
They don't like their priests thrice-married in Winchester, old boy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I would rather suspect you're right.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

What if one of the marriages had taken place elsewhere?
*innocent expression*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

is pone?
*totally fucking confused expression*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

You fucking ninja. I hope you catch your balls in a mangle.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Not sure I've ever even seen a mangle in the flesh
Still, heading up to Edinberg on New year's day, so I'll keep my eyes peeled.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Mangle technology still hasn't reached New Cross.
You lot just rub your britches on stones on the banks of the Thames. You're no better than the peasants on the fucking Ganges.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Britches?
I dream of having britches rather than the tattered rags I currently use to hide my pitiful manhood.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

See Edit.
I'm amazed that Apey gets the stick for posting shit, when I am infinitely worse. It's not even the typos, sometimes I have brainos where my brain just types a whole different word to the one I meant.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I prefer being mean to Nakers. That's all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Understandable, he is a colossal cunt, after all.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Quite so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Awwwh man, not you too

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

shouldn't have told me what you do for a living you bourgeois arsehole.
Your lot will be first up against the wall come the revolution.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

likewise you bleeding heart socalist nonce, once we get our dictatorship up and running

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

You guys are shit at dictatorships.
It's no accident that the majority of proper wacko-dictatorships have been communist in nature. Even Hitler was a pussy compared to Stalin.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Don't worry about it the plans are being drawn up as we speak

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Yes, but no one will know about the public executions without advertising, will they?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

As it should be my friend, as it should be.
Ship 'em, all off to the gulags nice and quiet. word of mouth will do the rest.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Fear is the Soviet Facebook.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

*belm expression*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*fails to notice because it how you normally look, innit?*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Christmas Eve I pick the kids up from the ex.
Dinner at mine, watch a DVD maybe, that kind of thing. GF is working, so it'll just be the 3 of us. A quiet, fun, night.

Christmas morning GF will come over after work (approx 3am), get up with kids around 9, open prezzies etc. Drop kids at ex at lunchtime, go out for Xmas Dinner number 1 with GF and her parents.

GF is working night shift on Christmas night, so she'll head off to bed and then I'm off to my sister's in Glasgow for Xmas Dinner number 2, a gut full of booze, and a flatulent overnight stay.

Back home Boxing Day morning, pick up kids again, etc. Rinse and repeat.

The keen-eyed will notice 2 Xmas Dinners in my itinery. I foresee a colossal dump will be required en route from Xmas Dinner number 1 to Xmas Dinner number 2. If you hear that Harthill Services has been evacuated due to a chemical spillage then you know what happened. Soz.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

There's nothing you can do to ruin Harthill
that hasn't be done already.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

After a 3-course Xmas dinner and a glass of bubbly, my innards are capable of a great deal.
However, Harthill is indeed a shithole, so my work will be cut out.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

consider it a challenge.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Well, I'll give it a bloody good go.
Stay tuned for further news.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

The last of my curry for me, it's still lovely
That is absolutely ace Gonz!

Alt: Christmas eve - Wrap presents, start drinking, don't stop until I pass out. Where this will be is yet to be decided.
Day - Head home if I've stayed out, otherwise simply wake up, get dressed, grab a beer out of the fridge, plonk myself in front of the TV, don't move until any guests arrive (if they do), which I'm not expecting til about 7pm.

Can't fucking wait.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Back from lunch.
Delicious Lasagna and Becks combo.

For M.Boyce - a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/399032_2894805498565_1513141939_32874769_169911857_n.jpg
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

In honour of Monty
my new ski boots are called "Ace of Spades"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Ski boots are much better for stamping on darkies
than 20 hole DMs.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

harder to chase after them though
especially with them being so good at running and all that...what?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Chase them?
Is that for a reward? Did they rape a white woman?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

they don't look appropriate for adults

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Nor did your sister but that didn't stop you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)

my sister isn't apporpriate for much, the fat cow

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I think I may have to purchase ion of those T-shirts

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

i think this might suit you better
www.streetshirts.co.uk/creation.aspx?designkey=PFC%5B2273Vxc803khM27qmCnI7XK4Ktb89u%5D
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Look Lad, I know a bit off teenage rebellion is all well and good
But you are seriously putting your stocking in danger here.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

humourour images of dictators anyone?
One for Monty:

One for me:

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

He actually looks like a young Hitler.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

He look like Keanu Reeves

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Dude.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Indeed.
Actually struggling with you young hitler conparison BTW. This image has little resemblance to be sure, awesome facial hair though.


( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Montenegro was separated at birth from this guy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

The 17th and 18th Century Galician monk and scholar?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

If you say so, Christmas.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Ah, you meant the Venezuelan actor and singer and former member of Menudo

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

This is quite funny
www.theregister.co.uk/2011/12/21/psychic_television/
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Hey kids
Sorry I haven't been around much lately, I've been out buying you loads of sexy toys for Christmas. Am off in 150 minutes and then you'll NEVER SEE ME AGAIN until this time next week.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Don't apologise.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

You always know how to make me feel better mate
How have you been?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Disgraceful.
I am jealous of your hols. It'll be lavverly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

If all the travelling doesn't make us kill each other, yeah
What are you planning for the forthcoming week?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

where are you going?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Nottingham tonight to my folks'
Then back to Norfolk to her Mum's for a couple of days, then on to her Dad's. Three Christmases FTW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Oh, it sounded like you were going on "The grand Tour"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

This is something to do with cocks, isn't it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

no, it was tour undertaken by rich young men to be taught about classics and thge arts
basically it sounded like you were going further than Nottingham...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

And to get their end away with foreign birds.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Sober up.
Cook like a champignon (see what I did there?).

Consume, consume, consume. It's Jesus' birthday!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Excellent attitude that
*appluads politely*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Sexy toys?
*hopes*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

It's a bicycle with a dildo for a seat for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Pft!
I already have one of those.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Alright darlin'
how's you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Not bad mate, a bit bored.
no real reson to be at work dfor the next 2 days, but no reason to use up holiday either, so expect me on here a lot.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Expect me on here not at all after tonight I'm afraid sweetie
Won't be online again until this time next week.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I'll be a blue christmas without you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK4BeD5I-Pk
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Get a room you two.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

He won't leave his girlfriend!
*sobs*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

There there.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

...so you can join us?
Bagsy tails!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

is that a euphamism for cock?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Ha! I think CQ would be happy enough with heads.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:37, Reply)

s
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I have never seen you as you refuse to upload your WL video

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Yeah, that's what I want the internet to have
More ammunition
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

There's a strong possibility that I'll be spending Christmas in a cell having been done for murder.
Jesus fucking wobbling Christ the jobcentre are a useless bunch of cuntsocks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

They need men like you.
Tell then you can do, and have done, their jobs better. That'll endear you to them.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I already have, on the phone to the incompetent numskull
who's just rang me to tell me that my claim is with the processing team and should be done by today. Or maybe tomorrow.

When I asked for the processing team's number so I could check directly I was told that they don't have a phone line. I'm not fucking surprised.

A mate of mine also told me yesterday that the DWP will be recruiting about 4000 extra permanent staff soon. I can fully see me ending up back there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Well, it's a job at least
and in a growing sector for a while I should think...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Backwards moves are rarely a good idea.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Beggars can't be choosers, Blousie.
I'd go back but still look for other stuff.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

What Davvers said.
It's a job and money coming in at the end of the day and you can always look for better.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Well, quite.
Not the best paid job in the world, mind, but at the minute I'd give anything a go.

Apart from telesales. That can fuck off.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Still looking into your little earner at home?

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I thought prostitution was still illegal

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

its alright if you pay for their 'time' and not services rendered
so i heard
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

It's only illegal if you push back.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Yeah, got a business start up seminar thing on 4th January.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

oh dear, you shouldn't be throwing your money away on that frivilous crap

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

It's a free service.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

thats what you want them to think
then you'll be int here and its BAM £400 for a sausae roll

Sucka
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Ryan Air are doing business start up seminars?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Good luck mate
Whatever that turns out to mean.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Ok that's a bit more work done.
*relaxes*

I don't want to wear myself out before christmas.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I didn't have lunch, as I decided to have a nap instead.
I think I would refuse to eat anything with pistranni in it.
You'll have so much fun getting into your little flat. Have you 'christened' every room yet?

Alt: Same as every day, but with better food.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Omg! a week full of naps to look forward to.
*beams*
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I wouldn't have needed a nap if I hadn't been woken up at three

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I love a good nap.
There's always a frisson of naughtiness in daytime naps.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

you mean laziness
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Nope! I definitely mean naughtiness.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

no you mean laziness

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I know what I mean.
YOMD
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

whats YOMD?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Your opinion may differ.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

fucks sake, woman too lazy to type an all now

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:41, Reply)

IYSS

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

whats IYSS?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:49, Reply)

If you say so.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

No.
There's a frisson of naughtiness in a little bit of Xmas flirting with the girl from marketing in the lift.

There's a frisson of OMG-my-life-is-finished-I've-turned-into-my-dad about daytime naps.

Hope I've cleared that up for you.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

You have no idea what my naps consist of.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Oh do you think so?
*Adjusts telescope focus*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

her dreams leave her wetter than an otter's pocket

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Only when my dreams contain extremely hot otters.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

we're all hot, aren't we?
Or did you mean actual otters?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Not telling!

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

We demand to know now!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 16:05, Reply)

me and my girlfriend christened a cupboard the other day
menatl that was
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Who with?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

His cardboard cut out of Lusty.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

with a strategic hole cut in it.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 16:03, Reply)